Now..... Oh. I guess I got nuthin'.
I really am having a hard time getting all outraged that Aunt Becky paid off people to get her kids into a good college. Seriously, my first reaction was a hearty "so what"? I mean who is surprised rich people are twisting the system to their advantage? I don't want to sound all AOC/Bernie Bro here, but duh.
Did we really spend tens of thousands of taxpayer dollars investigating this? Has the FBI run out of real stuff to investigate? Maybe they should have put this kind of effort into digging into the Clinton Family
slush fund charity, or looking for the next wave of terrorists hijacking planes to fly into buildings, or perhaps just who told Trump that hairstyle looks good?
When did cheating on college entrance exams warrant a gunpoint arrest? Dumb rich people have a history of getting into elite colleges. Does anyone really think Al Gore got into Harvard because he was smart? How many other kids who were not even in the top 50% of their graduating class in high school get into an Ivy League school unless their pop is a Senator? Those actors and actresses who end up at Yale or Brown or Columbia? Please.
And if we are going to get outraged by academically unqualified people getting passed through admissions in place of more deserving candidates we can start by counting the members of most division I football teams.
And when did USC become an "elite" school? Are the admissions standards that academically rigorous? How dumb do you have to be that it takes a cool half mil to get you into a state school?
On the other hand, who doesn't want to think about Aunt Becky in that nekkid girls' prison shower scene? Seriously, does this whitest of white collar crimes really require a one million dollar bond? Accused rapists and murders get less bail than that.
On the bright side, this non-story has pushed the anti-Semitic and economically illiterate positions of leading Democrats off the news, so there is that.
Now that the FBI has cracked the big rich people get their kids into college scandal they can now focus on how rich people and actors get the good concert seats and reservations at restaurants that are booked solid for you and me.
Next we are going to discover hot chicks sometimes get out of speeding tickets and score free drinks at bars. The outrage!