I feel like all I do is rant...

The New York Times has again done all it can to destroy our efforts on the war on terror. Nothing has changed for this left wing - hate ANY Republican President - hire liars and plagiarist as reporters - piece of toilet paper rag since they published the Pentagon Papers. Releasing classified documents that hurts our nation is the MO of this paper. Hide behind the First Amendment, then abet treason is nothing more than we should expect.

I find it funny the NYT freaked about about the Plame "leak" even though it was public record she worked for the CIA, yet this same paper covers up truly devastating leaks. The number of people that knew this bank probe was going on are few. I say we grill the Intelligence Committee members and staffers. If we find that one of our elected officials leaked this information, in violation of an oath of secrecy, the offending person(s) should be publicly executed. I am not kidding.

Listen, if you are not calling or receiving calls from the Midwest or from known and suspected terrorist, you have no fear the "Government" is listening to your calls. If you are not sending or receiving funds from the Midwest or from suspected terrorists, the "Government" is not examining your bank records. The same liberals who are screaming about intrusive government in the War on Terror seem to have no issue with drunk driving and seatbelt checkpoints. Can anyone explain that logic?

Die, you sick mofos

What is the difference between a crazed crack whore who breaks your windows, crawls into your house and spray paints her crazy, crackwhore shit on your walls and a fat, acne ridden, comic book reading, blowup doll fucking, dog turd eating, 40-year old loser, living in his Mom's basement with two cats that he forces to lick his milk soaked balls, asshole spammer that gets his jollies infecting your computer with viruses, dickwad?

That is the longest sentence you will ever read from this poor blog writer from the Hemingway school. Let me try again. If it is illegal to break into my house and trash it, why is it legal to send viruses that infect my computer? My kids have again infected one of my computers with a virus (actually several, only one remains) a nefarious infectious Trojan that is sunk deep in my operating system. I will get it, but I have already spent hours working on this bastid. Like the mondo worm I had before, we will have to run tool after tool to get rid of it.

Why can't we prosecute the perpetrators of these attacks? They are invading my personal property intent on destruction. What is the difference? If I broke into your car and spray painted Hillary for President on your dashboard I would be prosecuted (and probably shot). Is forcing my computer to your website any different? I find both offensive. Is breaking your window and throwing into your living room hundreds of handbills for sex houses and child porn illegal? Why is it Ok to do that to my virtual mailbox?

Here's to you Mr. Spammer, Mr. Virus sender -- rot in Hell after dying a slow painful death of a mutant form of mad cow disease you contracted by giving your neighbor's collie a blowjob. I hope your dick falls off in your Cheeto-stained fingers (assuming you can find it with a pair of jewelers tweezers). I wish you get kidney stones the size of boulders. I hope you trip going up the stairs wearing your Mom's old high heels and break your puny pencil-neck. I hope you choke on your Hot Pocket. I hope the pizza burns the roof of your mouth. I hope you hang yourself while trying that crazy autoerotic asphyxiation while jacking-off thing. I hope you get the plague from the bites of fleas living in the rolls of fat on your unwashed body. I hope you die alone -- surrounded and consumed by the hatred of the innocent people you have preyed upon.

Keep it up and I will get really pissy about this.

weekend funny

Weekend Funny

Hear that slamming noise?

That noise heard 'round the blog world was my arteries slamming shut. I just enjoyed a fine luncheon of Spam and Kraft macaroni and cheese. The Spam I fried and put on white bread with mustard, the mac and cheese was the sauce kind. Does that make it better? The true sin here is this is the second time this week I have had Spam for lunch.

I am a little pissed today. I am not down on just the Islamofascists, the Democrats, the weather, or the Cubs, but I am really pissed at one of my customers. This guy approached me early last month to increase our business significantly, if we would offer a long term agreement and some concessions on price. The powers said yes, the customer said hurry and we offered it all up in about two weeks. We gave him everything he asked, and ramped up production to begin shipping in August. This is a huge increase in parts. Boucoup inventory. We have not heard from him since. He will not return phone calls, pages, emails, anything. When I threatened that we would stop production, he sent a terse two sentence email asking if we want out of the deal.

I tried calling etc., and answered with an as-kissing email about how we value him, etc., and just need some communication on where we stand. The response from the customer:


That is right, chirp fucking chirp, nothing. I threatened to show up in his lobby. Chirp chirp. I am at a loss. I know the customer is always right, but is it too much to ask for a 2 minute phone call or email saying "yep, move on supplier"? I guess I will drive the 2.5 hours each way next week to plant my ass in the lobby and wait to see if he will see me. That is rude, and I have never gone to a customer without an appointment. This is a multi-million dollar account and I have to straddle a fine line of getting the answers my management demands, and pissing off the customer for all time. We are making this buyer look good with the savings, but he is making me look bad because I cannot get answers from him.

Screw it, it is almost beer time.

Up on the Merry-Go-Round

Once again our intrepid law enforcement officials have caught suspected terrorists in our midst. I have no doubt there is strong evidence.

Like the herd of terrorists caught in Buffalo, the bombers in London, and the bunch in Toronto, the suspects in Miami are home-grown haters of western ways. They have all the advantages of modern medicine, science, and technology. They are not denizens of third world hell holes seeking paradise. These are haters, bent on destruction, pain and death to any who happen to be nearby. If the reports and suspected plans are true, I think we can all agree these are scum, rats fit only for a quick death to enjoy hell with Hitler, Stalin, and Mussawri.

What twists the minds of ordinary humans to turn them into animals? So far there is only the common basis of religion. Once again the suspected terrorists all are believers in the faith of Islam. What mad-cow like properties does this religion possess that infects the brain and turns adherents into crazed killers of women, children, and all who do not believe as they do? Like mad-cow disease, not all Muslims are affected, but they could be at any time. Do we need to adopt the policy we take when a diseased cow is found -- destroy the herd? I hope not.

I expect we will get the same tired crap from Muslims like CAIR that we are unfairly depicting their religion, about discrimination, etc. The fact remains that it is not Christians and Buddhists blowing up buildings and planting car bombs near schools. It is time for the House of Islam to do a spring cleaning. Funding for the militant sects must be cut, there needs to be loud and firm declarations that the ends do not justify the means, that jihad is not the way. I need to see demonstrations for peace, for an end to the violence. Until then my faith grows every day that every Muslim is my enemy, a potential terrorist willing to follow the words of the Koran to the letter: the infidel must convert, or die. The followers of Mohammed are my enemy, the enemy of my country, and the enemy of the world. It is time we say it and believe it.

Chicago Sucks

Well, just the highway system; I like the windy city itself. The nightmare that is southbound 294 to I 80 eastbound -- will it ever be done? The half finished toll plazas appear no closer to complete that they did two months ago. I guess it will be better when it is finished, but traveling through and around Chicago is driving misery.

Today's Music

If you have read past posts you know I have some eclectic tastes in music. I am mostly stuck in the 1970's. I deleted all of the Sinatra and Dean Martin off the iPod over the weekend because they screwed the vibe I was in when listening to the songs on "shuffle" Saturday morning: Cream, Jethro Tull, Yes, The Pink Floyd, then Sinatra did not cut the mustard.

I bought two new CDs on Saturday. The Clash (a compilation of greatest hits) and The Blues Brothers -- A Briefcase full of Blues. Who knows how much I will listen to either, but sometimes you are just in the mood for '80's punk and pop.

Ruuuuuubber Biiiiiscuit -- bow bow bow.

Some people are too stupid to live

If you have spent any time at all reading this site, you know my feelings about intrusive government. I have maintained the position that seatbelt laws and helmet laws are just plain wrong. As a responsible adult if you are too stupid to wear a seatbelt or a helmet when riding a motorcycle then that is your perogative. For the record, I do not move the car from the driveway without clicking the seatbelt.

I do believe that child restraint laws are a good idea. Sometimes we need to protect children from their parent's stupidity. Here is a perfect example. Not only was this trash to ignorant to put the TEN MONTH OLD and other five children into car seats and seat belts, she did not even have seats in her van! This woman deserves NO second chance, her kids should be taken away forever. She is clearly too dumb to raise a family.

HB's Rules to live by

I am sick of the whining and law suits and the imbecilic predilection of certain segments of our society looking at the Government to nanny them through life. We can go a long way to eliminating the Democrat Party if the general population will follow these rules of thumb. Like any ROT, most of these are common sense for most of us, but clearly there are people who need to be told the basics.

1. Any food that contains a variant of the word "fry" is probably fattening and should not be eaten if you are concerned about fat, cholesterol, or your weight. Some examples would include french FRIES or Kentucky FRIED chicken. Drop the bucket, drop the weight, drop the lawsuit, dumbass.

2. Any food that contains the word "double" is probably not good for you. Examples include DOUBLE quarter pounder, DOUBLE cheese, DOUBLE beef patties.

3. Any food or drink that contains whipped cream or cream or chocolate or caramel is probably fattening and not good for you. This would include ice CREAM, and drinks at Starbucks that include cream, whipped cream, sugar and caramel or chocolate syrups. Again, get your head out of your ass, drop the protests and move along. NO one told you to order the fattening stuff.

4. If you have a leak in your pipes, the first step is to shut off the water. Similarly, if we have an issue with immigration the first step is to close the border.

5. If you denounce the country, say patriotism is stupid, and make fun of your core customers, you should not be surprised at the lack of support -- get it dizzy chicks? NO one says you cannot have anti-US beliefs, but we do not have to agree.

6. Do you remember when the school bully beat you up, took your lunch and left you hanging from the fence by the elastic waist of your tighty-whities? Did giving him your lunch money stop the swirlies? Well, Democrats, giving the bullies of the world our lunch money will not stop the bullying. Appeasement NEVER works. I would have thought Jimmah Carter would have been given enough red-bellies and snuggies in his life he would have figured that out by now. That plan worked well in North Korea didn't it?

7. If you smoked since 1972 when warnings went on the packs, you have no right to a lawsuit unless you can demonstrate you cannot read. If you cannot read you deserve no money because you are too stupid to take advantage of the opportunities of life. There is no argument on this about addiction etc., because you were warned before you smoked the first cigarette. For cripes sake, cigarettes were called coffin nails in the 1920's! Any time you suck smoke into your lungs it cannot be good, anyone who smoked the first cancer stick knows that.

8. Lawyers out trolling for victims are the lowest of the low. I include those who are ambulance chasers and those who troll for victims of Asbestos, and breast implants. Just because you lived in the same zip code as a factory that used asbestos, or walked by the plant does not entitle you to a settlement. The lawyers have bankrupted thousands of companies through the asbestos lawsuits. The same is true of the suits against Dow for the silicone breast implants. Studies now show there was no danger -- whoops -- sorry about destroying your company.

9. Fake boobies are never as good as real ones. You will likely be sorry for that tattoo, and nose, eyebrow, lip, tongue and other piercings are just gross. I am not alone in this. If you have tattoos all over your arm and metal poles in your eyebrow I do not want you serving my food. No reason, but I will not be back, Mr. Restaurant owner.

10. Anti-smoking laws are bullshit. By what right does the Government have to tell a private citizen what to do on his private property? If smoke annoys you (it does me) then DO NOT PATRONIZE THAT RESTAURANT OR BAR. The great aspect of capitalism is the market will determine success. If there is a demand for smokeless eateries, the public will beat a path to that establishment.

There are plenty more ROT but libtards do not read this site, and the rest of you have common sense. Oh, and red rover and dodgeball are fun, shut up and play.

Roll Alabama Roll

One of my favorite Civil War songs details the sinking of the Rebel Scum / Privateer, CSS Alabama by the USS Kearsarge on this date in 1864. The Alabama was sunk of the coast of Cherbourg and the survivors were rescued by British ships, an act in violation of Maritime Law, and quite possibly a deliberate act of war by the Limey Bastards. Of course the British built and equipped the raider in violation of their neutrality. Here are the lyrics:

1. In eighteen-hundred and sixty-one, Roll, Alabama, roll!
This ship's building was begun, Oh, roll, Alabama, roll!

2. When the Alabama's keel was laid, Roll, Alabama, roll!
It was laid in the yard of Jonathan Laird. Oh, roll, Alabama, roll!

3. It was laid in the yard of Jonathan Laird; Roll, Alabama, roll!
It was laid in the town of Birkenhead. Oh, roll, Alabama, roll!

4. At first she was called "the Two-Ninety-Two, "Roll, Alabama, roll!
For the merchants of the city of Liverpool Oh, roll, Alabama, roll!

5. Put up the money to build the ship Roll, Alabama, roll!
In hopes of driving commerce from the sea. Oh, roll, Alabama, roll!

6. Down the Mersey ways she rolled then; Roll, Alabama, roll!
Liverpool fitted her with guns and men. Oh, roll, Alabama, roll!

7. Down the Mersey she rolled one day, Roll, Alabama, roll!
And across the Western she plowed her way. Oh, roll, Alabama, roll!

8. From the Western Isles she sailed forth, Roll, Alabama, roll!
To destroy the commerce of the North. Oh, roll, Alabama, roll!

9. To fight the North Semmes did employ Roll, Alabama, roll!
Ev'ry method to kill and destroy. Oh, roll, Alabama, roll!

10. The Alabama sailed for two whole years, Roll, Alabama, roll!
Took sixty-five ships in her career. Oh, roll, Alabama, roll!

11. With British guns, oh, she was stocked; Roll, Alabama, roll!
She sailed from Fayal; in Cherbourg she docked. Oh, roll, Alabama, roll!

12. To Cherbourg port she sailed one day Roll, Alabama, roll!
To take her count of prize money. Oh, roll, Alabama, roll!

13. But off Cherbourg the Kearsarge lay tight, Roll, Alabama, roll!
With Cap'n Winslow spoilin' for a fight. Oh, roll, Alabama, roll!

14. The Kearsarge with Winslow was waiting there, Roll, Alabama, roll!
And Semmes challenged them to fight at sea. Oh, roll, Alabama, roll!

15. Many a sailor lad foresaw his doom, Roll, Alabama, roll!
When the Kearsarge, it hove in view. Oh, roll, Alabama, roll!

16. 'Twas a ball from the forward pivot that day, Roll, Alabama, roll!
Shot the Alabama's steerin' gear away. Oh, roll, Alabama, roll!

17. 'Twas outside the three-mile limit they fought, Roll, Alabama, roll!
And Semmes escaped on a fine British yacht. Oh, roll, Alabama, roll!

8. On June nineteenth, eighteen sixty-four, Roll, Alabama, roll!
They sent the Alabama to the cold ocean floor. Oh, roll, Alabama, roll!

19. The Kearsarge won; the Alabama so brave Roll, Alabama, roll!
Sank to the bottom, to a watery grave. Oh, roll, Alabama, roll!

The tune I like best is a little faster and different than that presented on that site.

Monday

Some days you wake up ready to face the world. Today the air is heavy with humidity, a pregnant cow of a day. The clouds are low and dark, rain in the air and on the gray horizon. Fog and haze dims the view of the lake.

I am tired, not ready for the day, no gumption. If I were a kid, I would have tried to tell my mom I was sick, it would not have worked.

I do not feel like sleeping, the idea of TV or reading bores me. For the first time in a long time, I do not feel like working. It is a dreary day and it fits my early-morning mood.

Memed

JT has dropped a meme on me. Since I am an asshole, I rarely play along, but this one is simple and easy.

What sitcom character would you like to be when/If you ever grow up?

The answer, after about 37 seconds of deep thought, is Andy Taylor. (surely you do not need a link?)

Andy always knew how to handle every situation. He was the perfect parent for young Opie. I wish I had all the answers, or at least a team of writers giving me the words, when dealing with my kids. It seems I am always solving problems the wrong way, resorting to yelling when I should be hugging, anger instead of patience. Yep, I wish I was old Andy. My dad once told me being a parent was the hardest job he ever had. I have to agree. It is also the most rewarding.

Breakfast of Champions

Today for breakfast I had three slices of bacon, a large glass of Minute Miad Orange Juice, a cup of coffe and a piece of licorice.

What did you have?

Weekend Funny

Happy Fathers day to all you Dads out there, especially mine.

Weekend Funny

I am back

Thanks Otter for filling in, I owe you several beers, I know.

I spent part of the week in beautiful Tulsa this week. The whole business trip was a goat rodeo, that is all that can be said. I did see Jerry's favorite restaurant, Taco Bueno, but I did not eat there, we went to a place called Cowboy Sharkey's instead. Oklahoma is also the original home of my blogger friend GuyK. I have to say everyone I met there was great.

We have the last baseball game for the rec league tomorrow, a raindate from last Saturday. There is a good chance I will keep my "perfect" record as a manager this year. Root for the team! We have the first game of the tourney on Monday. At least all-stars is starting, it gives the little one something to look forward to!

Here is a picture of a funny mailbox sent to me from a friend. Happy Anniversary!

I have a whole bunch to share with you as well as more from my German friend.

Otter's Daily Quip

Don't worry ye ole' fans of Fat in Indiana - Hoosierboy will be back tomorrow and have that heavy reading and debating that goes on, but until then...


A woman decides to have a facelift for her 50th birthday. She spends $15,000 and feels pretty good about the results. On her way home, she stops at a newsstand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving, she says to the clerk, "I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?"

"About 32," is the reply.

"Nope! I'm exactly 50," the woman says happily.

A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter girl the very same question.

The girl replies, "I'd guess about 29."

The woman replies with a big smile, "Nope, I'm 50."

While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting next to her the same question.

He replies, "Lady, I'm 78 and my eyesight is going. Although, when I was young, there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra.
Then, and only then can I tell you EXACTLY how old you are."

They wait in silence on the empty street until her curiosity gets the best of her. She finally blurts out, "What the hell, go ahead."

He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each breast and he gently pinches each nipple. He pushes her breasts together and rubs them against each other.

After a couple of minutes of this, she says, "Okay, okay...How old am I?"

He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and says, "Madam, you are 50."

Stunned and amazed, the woman says, "That was incredible, how could you tell?"

The old man says, "Promise you won't get mad?"

"I promise I won't." she says.

"I was behind you in line at McDonald's."

Otter's Daily Quip

An employee calls their boss one morning telling him that they are staying home because they are not feeling well.
“What’s the matter?” asks the boss.
“I have a case of anal glaucoma” they reply.
“What the hell is ‘anal glaucoma’?”
“I can’t see my ass coming to work today!”

Otter's Daily Quip

An eighty-three year old lady finished her annual physical examination, whereupon the doctor said, "You are in fine shape for your age, but tell me, do you still have intercourse?"
"Just a minute, I'll have to ask my husband" she said.
She went out to the reception room and said: "Bob do we still have intercourse?"

Bob answered impatiently,
"If I told you once, I told you a thousand times...

We have Blue Cross!