October 21, 2005

Friday Grab Bag

The little one has made the all-star team for football. They played the first of a 6 games in seven nights stretch on Wednesday. My boy earned himself the starting spot as QB. That will limit his playing time on defense, but given his choice he would rather be QB than free safety. He had a nice run of about twenty yards to end the game on Wednesday, too bad we needed 23 to score and stage a come behind win in the 8-7 loss. The game last night was a blowout, we lost 20-0. The defense played pretty good, giving up touchdowns on a long pass play and one when the offense left the opposition field position at first and goal from the 6. The little one was 3-4 on passes, pretty good for a 6 grader. More games this weekend, I will let you know the results.

I received this joke in an email from my dad:

Thought you'd like this.


Subject: Dear Dad


A FATHER PASSING BY HIS SON'S BEDROOM WAS ASTONISHED TO SEE THE BED WAS
NICELY MADE AND EVERYTHING WAS PICKED UP.
THEN HE SAW AN ENVELOPE PROPPED UP PROMINENTLY ON THE CENTER OF THE BED. IT
WAS ADDRESSED, "DAD." WITH THE WORST PREMONITION, HE OPENED THE ENVELOPE
AND READ THE LETTER WITH TREMBLING HANDS:

DEAR DAD:

IT IS WITH GREAT REGRET AND SORROW THAT I'M WRITING THIS. I HAD TO ELOPE
WITH MY NEW GIRLFRIEND BECAUSE I WANTED TO AVOID A SCENE WITH MOM AND YOU.
I'VE BEEN FINDING REAL PASSION WITH BARBARA AND SHE IS SO NICE EVEN WITH
ALL HER PIERCING, TATTOOS, AND HER TIGHT MOTORCYCLE CLOTHES. BUT IT'S NOT
ONLY THE PASSION DAD D, SHE'S PREGNANT AND BARBARA SAID THAT WE WILL
BE VERY HAPPY TOGETHER

EVEN THOUGH YOU WON'T CARE FOR HER, AS SHE IS MUCH OLDER THAN I, SHE
ALREADY OWNS A TRAILER IN THE WOODS AND HAS A STACK OF FIREWOOD FOR THE
WHOLE WINTER. SHE WANTS TO HAVE MANY MORE CHILDREN WITH ME AND THAT'S NOW
ONE OF MY DREAMS TOO.

BARBARA TAUGHT ME THAT MARIJUANA DOESN'T REALLY HURT ANYONE AND WE'LL BE
GROWING IT FOR OURSELVES AND TRADING IT WITH HER FRIENDS FOR ALL THE
COCAINE AND ECSTASY WE WANT. IN THE MEANTIME, WE'LL PRAY THAT SCIENCE WILL
FIND A CURE FOR AIDS SO BARBARA CAN GET BETTER; SHE SURE DESERVES IT!!

DON'T WORRY DAD; I'M 15 YEARS OLD NOW AND I KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF
MYSELF. SOMEDAY I'M SURE WE'LL BE BACK TO VISIT SO YOU CAN GET TO KNOW YOUR
GRANDCHILDREN.

YOUR SON,

Bill

PS DAD, NONE OF THIS IS TRUE. I'M OVER AT THE NEIGHBOR'S HOUSE. I JUST
WANTED TO REMIND YOU THAT THERE ARE WORSE THINGS IN LIFE THAN MY REPORT
CARD THAT'S IN MY DES K, CENTER DRAWER.
I LOVE YOU!

CALL WHEN IT'S SAFE FOR ME TO COME HOME.

8 comments:

Galt-In-Da-Box said...

*ROFPMPLMFAO*
That clean room joke RULES!

josh said...

you are a gay uncle fu**er and a big bit** dont ever talk about my site again or i will fu** you up bit** so talk again se what happens you stupid a**

Alli said...

Wow HB you made a friend didnt you?

That joke is one of my all time favorites... :-) Have a good weekend.

Galt-In-Da-Box said...

josh appears to be considerably intellectually challenged. For proof, just take a look at his blog.
What gutter did you pick him up out of, HB?

Misty said...

ROFLMAO :) Lovely story! ;)

hoosierboy said...

Josh, I can see why your sign is cancer. Dude, you are a cancer on society. Why don't you stay there at your own blog and amuse yourself there with your little cartoon characters. I am sure you have to masturbate to something that is not real, because no woman will have anything to do with you.

Mom's basement too scary with the furnace and all?

hoosierboy said...

Oh, and Josh, it is ok to actually type the bad words like bitch and fuck. I have heard them before. Does your mom make you eat soap when you swear?

Anonymous said...

Drop on by and browse through a huge archive of email joke

This is one of the many jokes i found amongst the many joke categorys:
A man walks into his favorite bar and saw a bum panhandeling. The bum asked if the man could spare a dollar. The man replied "If I give you money are you going to use it to buy liquor?" The bum said he would not, so the man asked "If I give you money are you going to use it for gambling?" Again the bum said he would not, so the man asked "Would you come home with me so I can show my wife what happenes to someone who doesnt gamble or drink?"

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