Invasion

The wife called me to the bedroom Sunday afternoon. I knew she had no sudden and unexpected sexual need to be fulfilled since it was mid-afternoon and the boy was home and she apparently has none of those urges. I went anyway.

She pointed out the seldom use patio doors at a steady stream of flying insects shooting from the lower right corner of the sliding door. I ventured out for a look and discovered a small hole, around the size of a fifty-cent piece was at the base of the wood trim. Flying in and out in a steady stream was a virtual herd of yellow jackets. I know, I said the same thing. Sanctified turds, indeed.

I grabbed my giant-sized bug spray from the garage and set it on fine stream. I sprayed the hell out of the hole and everyone of the buzzing mofos I could get. I sprayed into the hole, around the hole, everywhere. The yellow jackets did not think too much of that, I promise you. They were dying by the dozens, yet more arrived in a steady stream of flight. I swear it was like the afternoon rush hour at Atlanta Hartsfield or O'Hare, they were staged up from the fence down to the hole where they died an agonizing death. And still they came.

I looked out this morning as I was preparing for my day, and sure enough, they were buzzing in and out like nothing happened. They were ignoring the corpses of their fellows. I sprayed again, using the last of my bug killer. Again, they died by the dozens. The flow out stopped, but they kept coming from little yellow jacket destinations.

I checked a few minutes ago and the two flow is back to mid-Sunday afternoon form. I am not sure what to do. I have a can of industrial foam I can spray in the hole, provided I can get close enough without being stung. I am afraid I will have to call an exterminator.

What he said

Go read James Old Guy click this link.

If a candidate for any office, including the Presidency, would just regurgitate this post repeatedly, he would be elected in a landslide. Too bad the National GOP is intent on pushing us to be Democrats-light.

A word of caution

Chocolate milk and chili cheese Fritos are not a good breakfast combination.

A tiny slice of life

The wife felt an overwhelming need to go to Kohls Saturday evening. We took the back roads since every highway in the county is under major road construction. The macadam road was straight and flat and narrow. The corn was planted right up to the edge of the road an it looked like a green wall, tipped with golden spikes. The corn was broken by occasional breaks for farm houses and soy bean fields. The beans were waist high and a deep dark green. The setting sun left orange and purple highlights in the sky.

The first planets started popping out followed by a few stars I could see through the orange sodium lights in the parking lot. I rolled down the windows and turned on my iPod through the radio while the wife went in the store to do her thing. After an hour or so she came back out. She bought the boy some shorts for $8.00. We drove back home a different way, yet another series of narrow farm roads.

After we got home, I surfed the channels to find there was nothing on worth watching and went to bed. The wife settled down to watch home decorating shows. I was asleep when she came to bed.

A boring post to mirror a boring weekend.

Weekend Funny

How to tell if you are in a gay bar

Weekend Funny

Finally Friday

Good morning faithful followers. I have been busy this week attending a conference. I heard from many economists about the state of things and some even gazed into their crystal balls and offered a view of the future. I may share some of what I learned in coming posts.

Then again I might not.

Seriously, is this the last of the Kennedys? Enough already. I heard a Representative say it was imperative we pass a health bill now, for Kennedy's sake. This guy sis supposed to be in Congress to represent his constituents. Instead, his attitude is pass anything, no matter how poor the legislation is written, ignore economic consequences, the Hell with any objection, this is for the Hero of Chappaquiddick! JFC! I hope Carter doesn't kick off anytime soon, the Democrats will propose building everyone a free house in his name.

It is Friday. Maybe this will smooth your jangled political nerves:

An Oldsmobile is slowly sinking in Hell's waters today

Ted "Swimmer" Kennedy is dead.

I am shedding about the same amount of tears I wyuld for any other piece of shit that murders a young woman.

Boo Hoo.

I hope his punishment is to slowly suffocate in the burning waters of Hell for eternity, sucking for air in the back window of an Oldsmobile.

Boo Hoo.

Dodd, you and Frank allowed this to happen

What caused the housing and economy to tank. Derivative markets. Fannie and Freddie were among the worst offenders of this practice. Here is a succinct description of what happened provided in an email from my brother -- Otter:

AN EASILY UNDERSTANDABLE EXPLANATION OF DERIVATIVE MARKETS


Manny is the proprietor of a bar in Pittsburgh . He realizes that virtually all of his customers are unemployed alcoholics and, as such, can no longer afford to patronize his bar. To solve this problem, he comes up with new marketing plan that allows his customers to drink now, but pay later.

He keeps track of the drinks consumed on a ledger thereby granting the customer’s loans.

Word gets around about Manny's "drink now, pay later" marketing strategy and, as a result, increasing numbers of customers flood into Manny's bar. Soon he has the largest sales volume for any bar in the Burgh.

By providing his customers' freedom from immediate payment demands, Manny gets no resistance when, at regular intervals, he substantially increases his prices for wine and beer, the most consumed beverages. Consequently, Manny's gross sales volume increases massively.

A young and dynamic vice-president at the local bank recognizes that these customer debts constitute valuable future assets and increases Manny's borrowing limit. He sees no reason for any undue concern, since he has the debts of the unemployed alcoholics as collateral.

At the bank's corporate headquarters, expert traders transform these customer loans into DRINKBONDS, ALKIBONDS, and PUKEBONDS. These securities are then bundled and traded on international security markets. Naive investors don't really understand that the securities being sold to them as AAA secured bonds are really the debts of unemployed alcoholics.

Nevertheless, the bond prices continuously climb and the securities soon become the hottest-selling items for some of the nation's leading brokerage houses.

One day, even though the bond prices are still climbing, a risk manager at the original local bank decides that the time has come to demand payment on the debts incurred by the drinkers at Manny's bar. He so informs Manny.

Manny then demands payment from his alcoholic patrons, but being unemployed alcoholics they cannot pay back their drinking debts. Since Manny cannot fulfill his loan obligations he is forced into bankruptcy. The bar closes and the eleven employees lose their jobs. Overnight, DRINKBONDS, ALKIBONDS, and PUKEBONDS drop in price by 90%. The collapsed bond asset value destroys the banks liquidity and prevents it from issuing new loans, thus freezing credit and economic activity in the community.

The suppliers of Manny's bar had granted him generous payment extensions and had invested their firms' pension funds in the various B ND securities. They find they are now faced with having to write off his bad debt and with losing over 90% of the presumed value of the bonds. His wine supplier also claims bankruptcy, closing the doors on a family business that had endured for three generations, his beer supplier is taken over by a competitor, who immediately closes the local plant and lays off 150 workers.

Fortunately though, the bank, the brokerage houses and their respective executives are saved and bailed out by a multi-billion dollar no-strings attached cash infusion from the Government. The funds required for this bailout are obtained by new taxes levied on employed, middle-class, non-drinkers.

Now, do you understand?

Insert sound of spitting here

One of the aspects of our Government that separates us from much of the rest of the world is the peaceful transition to a new administration every four (sometimes eight) years. Unlike Communist countries and the multitudes of "Banana Republics" that change with a violent junta or acrimonious political changeover, we have moved on to a new President and Congress with a marked civility. Even when the political differences are huge.

Until now, it has never been the policy of a new administration to go after the previous administration for policies they disagreed. Now the Obama thugs, losing the support of the right and center and facing the wrath of the far leftists over the failure to pass cap and tax and healthcare are trying to appease the fringe supporters by going after the CIA and Military who followed the lawful orders of the Bush Administration.

Somehow an administration that cannot find a way to prosecute armed Black Panther thugs who intimidated voters and poll workers deems it necessary to go after those with whom they disagree politically. Eric Holder and Barack Obama you make me sick. You are pathetic.

Be careful what you sow, you may not like what your reap.

If you are old I would just skip this post

At the risk of pissing off a number of my readers I submit the following:

So your Social Security is not going to go up. Too fucking bad. You should not get a cost a living increase when the cost of living has not changed. For the record, it is not a Social Security "cut" when your payments stay the same. I know, the cost of Medicare prescription drug coverage is going up. The trial lawyers have made the cost of medical insurance go up for all of us in the last couple of decades. Don't you read the papers?

I get so sick of hearing our Senior Citizens complaining that they live on a fixed income. I have news for you old people, so do the rest of us. Unless you work on a commission, your income is fixed. You get a certain wage per pay period, or per hour. Most of us, unless you work for the local, State, or Federal Government have not seen a raise in a while. Social Security passed out a raise this year, I did not get one. You Senior Citizen insurance costs are going up, so did mine -- $40.00 per month. Instead of whining about it, why don't you write your Senator and Representative and ask them why they are taking a raise this year?

Since the Democrats took over Congress most of us have seen our investments tank. Our houses are valued significantly less, and millions have lost their jobs. Another uncounted millions have had their pay and benefits cut. You voted for the current morons in charge -- now reap the whirlwind. And I hope you choke on your damn AARP membership -- those sonovabitches are selling us all out on healthcare.

Look old people, there is a bright spot on the horizon. Since SS benefits are tied to cost of living indexes you are set to see some serious raises in a couple of years. The Obama policies are going to usher in 1970's-type inflation. Double digit inflation will equal big raises.

One other bright spot for you -- in 20 years SS will be broke. The odds are many of you who are now earning Social Security will be dead. You will not have to worry about it.

Too harsh?

Fixed income my ass.

How I spent my Sunday

I mowed the yard yesterday. The boy came out and helped me trim the bushes. I let him use the electric trimmers and I picked up the debris. He had fun. The bushes are not so even, but what the heck, I am not much of a landscaper either.

We then dragged out the power washer to get some smashed eggs off the siding. He loves to use the power washer. He found an empty water bottle I had consumed after mowing and proceeded to shoot it around with the power washer like a modern day Annie Oakley. I accommodated him by tossing the bottle into the air for him to shoot. He laughed his ass off. He finally started putting the bottle over the nozzle of the washer and shooting the bottle into the air. I gave it a try too. We used to hang out all the time, the boy and I. Since he has become a teenager, nearly 16, not so much. It was nice spending time with him, screwing around like guys do.

I made a big pan of lasagna for dinner. I am no Italian, but I do make a good pan of lasagna. The boy ate like a man three times his weight. I bet he ate at least 1/3 of the pan! I had some for lunch today.

Needless to say, I was beat last night. I dozed just enough in the chair to keep me up late. Another weekend went by and i am another day older.

I am still alive though. There is always that.

Maybe I am Forrest Gump

I am a strong advocate of learning. I try to learn something new every day. I need some help from you, dear Reader. I have wracked my brain to find one single instance where reducing competition results in lower prices or better service. I can find hundreds of the opposite -- cable TV, utility companies, etc., but none comes to mind where the public is better off. In fact, isn't TR's face carved on a granite mountain out West for busting up the monopolies? I am pretty sure everyone's costs went down when Ma Bell was busted into the Baby Bells. Anyway, help me out here, please give some examples.

Why you are at it can you explain just why we need the government to add "competition" to the health insurance industry? It seems I see advertisements for these companies, and ask any HR person how many calls they get a week from insurance companies seeking their business. There must be multiple businesses out there offering health insurance. If any one or two had the market secured why would they spend money and effort to attract business they already have?

Sunday Sunday Sunday

Yesterday the temperature never climbed from the 60s. We are talking August, usually the hottest month in these parts. The wife put on jeans. I flat out refused. There is no way in hell I am wearing long pants in August (except for work). I don't care if it snows. It is a matter of principle. Seriously, is there anyone out there who still believes the global warming stuff?

We met some friends for a fine dinner of barbecue. You cannot go wrong eating smoked pork, even on a cool August evening. You cannot go wrong eating smoked pork, by gosh (I am trying hard to forgo swearing)you could chisel those words of wisdom on my tombstone. Think about it, bacon, ribs, smoked sausage, some of the tastiest foods ever invented. I have nothing against the Joos, but I tell you people, you are missing out. Mmmmmm, bacon....

It rained on and off yesterday, so I did not get to the yard work. I did not get a nap either! Maybe today. Maybe not. The yard needs mowed as well. The bushes may have to wait until next week.

I think it is about time to drop my fat ass in the chair and see if any good movies are on the tube. If not, I have a couple of books to read. Enjoy your day -- tomorrow is Monday! Does that get you all wee-weed up?

I am still not sure what that even means.

Weekend Funny

.....especially for you school teacher friends of mine.....

How would you pronounce this child's name?

"Le-a"

Leah?? NO
Lee - A?? NOPE
Lay - a?? NO
Lei?? - UH-UH
Guess Again.

This child attends a school in Detroit, MI . Her mother is
irate because everyone is getting her name wrong.
You Ready for this?

It's pronounced "Ledasha"
When the Mother was asked about the pronunciation of the
name, she said, "de dash don't be silent."

SO, if you should happen to see something as ridiculous as
this come across your desk, please remember to pronounce the
dash.
“If dey axes you why, just tell dem dat de dash don't be silent."
(And they wonder why the whole country is falling apart...)


Racist -- maybe. Funny -- yes. Get over it.

Smooth Jazz Saturday

I woke this morning inexplicably at ten minutes after five. In the am. I will admit I am a bit pissed by the whole thing. Now I will fall asleep in the chair this afternoon and the wife will give me hell. Not really, but she will tease me about getting old and needing a nap. Maybe her snoring has something to do with my early rising?

She told me yesterday that I need to finish trimming the bushes this weekend "less the neighbors complain". Complain? To whom? About what? It is not like I have let the property go to weeds. The bushes just need cut back. We do not live in one of those subdivisions with a crazy controlling homeowners association with a President that gets his jollies enforcing the strictest codes. We have no covenants.

I went with my daughter to help her buy her first car last night. I did my best to negotiate the best deal possible. She bought a brand new VW Jetta SE right from the showroom floor. It is black with lots of extras and leather seats and I am jealous. It is a beautiful car and she is rightfully proud. Her old Civic with its 90K miles will be my youngest son's car next month when he gets his licence.

Maybe the wife is right. I am an old fart.

Weekend Funny

Man goes into a cocktail lounge and approaches Maxine sitting by herself.


Man: "May I buy you a cocktail?"

Maxine: "No thank you, alcohol is bad for my legs."

Man: "Sorry to hear that. Do they swell?"

Maxine: "No, they spread."


h/t Otter

Why not?

If you are just screwing around on the internet, why don't you skip over and wish Ed a belated happy Birthday?

click here

Liberal response -- lies, lies, lies

One more time-wasting effort to open the eyes of an increasing minority.

Scratching my head here, boss.

I read an article in the USA Today earlier this week (look it up yourself you lazy bastids) that deadly evil mercury is in fish of all stripes in every lake and stream. The point of the article is this is very bad. Who am I to argue?

The Government has decreed we all have to use those squiggly light bulbs. They are full of mercury.

These same people want to be in charge of your health care? Draw your own conclusions.