New Quarterback for the Packers...
In a news conference Deanna Favre announced she will be the starting QB for the Packers this coming Sunday. Deanna asserts that she is qualified to be starting QB because she has spent the past 16 years married to Brett while he played QB for the Packers. During this period of time she became familiar with the definition of a corner blitz, and is now completely comfortable with other terminology of the Packers offense. A survey of Packers fans shows that 50% of those polled supported the move.
Does this sounds idiotic and unbelievable to you? Well, Hillary Clinton makes the same claims as to why she is qualified to be President and 50% of democrats polled agreed. She has never run a City, County, or State. When told Hillary Clinton has experience because she has 8 years in the White House, Dick Morris stated "so has the pastry chef".
Otter again
January 15, 2008
January 14, 2008
Why you should never buy a cheap cake
Wal-Mart Employee: ''dis Wal-Mart's, how can I help you?"
Customer: "I would like to order a cake for a going away party this week."
Wal-Mart Employee: "Whachu want on da cake?"
Customer: "Best Wishes Suzanne" and underneath that "We will miss you."
stole it from Otter
Customer: "I would like to order a cake for a going away party this week."
Wal-Mart Employee: "Whachu want on da cake?"
Customer: "Best Wishes Suzanne" and underneath that "We will miss you."
stole it from Otter
Monday
My buddy had his knee replaced just before Christmas. We went to see him this weekend. He told me that the doctor said during his visit last week that he could start having sex again. Three weeks after major surgery and he could once again have sex!
It is drastic, but I am scheduling a knee replacement for as soon as possible. Whatever it takes...
It is drastic, but I am scheduling a knee replacement for as soon as possible. Whatever it takes...
January 13, 2008
Bob Sanders
As the Colts begin their playoff run this weekend, I thought I’d make you all aware of a few facts about Bob Sanders:
Bob Sanders can win a game of Connect Four in only 3 Moves. . .
Bob Sanders' dog is trained to pick up its own poop because Bob doesn't take shit from anyone.
Bob Sanders lost his virginity before his father did.
Bob Sanders is the only man ever to defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
Tom Brady has Bill Belichick check under his bed every night for Bob Sanders
The federal government banned human cloning because they weren't sure they could stop more than one Bob Sanders.
Bob Sanders doesn't mow his lawn...he walks out to his yard and DARES the grass to grow!
Bob Sanders doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint
Bob Sanders saved the cheerleader and the world.
Bob Sanders can unscramble eggs!!!!
Bob Sanders doesn't wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
h/t Otter
Bob Sanders can win a game of Connect Four in only 3 Moves. . .
Bob Sanders' dog is trained to pick up its own poop because Bob doesn't take shit from anyone.
Bob Sanders lost his virginity before his father did.
Bob Sanders is the only man ever to defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
Tom Brady has Bill Belichick check under his bed every night for Bob Sanders
The federal government banned human cloning because they weren't sure they could stop more than one Bob Sanders.
Bob Sanders doesn't mow his lawn...he walks out to his yard and DARES the grass to grow!
Bob Sanders doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint
Bob Sanders saved the cheerleader and the world.
Bob Sanders can unscramble eggs!!!!
Bob Sanders doesn't wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
h/t Otter
January 12, 2008
Another Movie Review
I was up until about 3:00 am this morning watching this DVD -- Remember Tonight David Gilmour Live at Royal Albert Hall. If you like music videos, you will love this. The sound is great and the video is terrific. The concert includes some Pink Floyd favorites, a couple of tunes from Syd Barrett's solo work and the complete On an Island playlist. With backup singers like David Bowie, Graham Nash and David Crosby, you cannot go wrong. Long-time Floyd keyboardist Richard Wright mans the ivories. The second disc has some out takes and a behind the scenes concert tour movie that is highly entertaining. This movie captures an awkward incidental meeting between Gilmour and Roger Waters.
The Pink Floyd song Echoes has long been one of my favorite tunes. The version here is the best I have heard. Bowie sings his cover of the classic Syd Barrett tune Arnold Layne and Gilmour blows the house down with his soaring solo at the end of Comfortably Numb.
Buy it, rent it, if you are a Floyd or Gilmour fan you cannot go wrong with this DVD.
January 11, 2008
What he said
JT always is right on target. CLICK THIS LINK. The comments are priceless.
Those weren’t tears. That was the evil leaking out because she was too full…
January 10, 2008
Patriots Suck
Four football fans - a Steelers fan, a Bears fan, a COLTS fan and a Patriots fan are climbing a mountain and arguing about who loves his team more.
The Steeler's fan insists he is the most loyal. 'This is for the Steelers!' he yells, and jumps off the side of the mountain.
Not to be outdone, the Bears fan shouts, 'This is for the Bears!' and throws himself off the mountain.
The COLTS fan is next to profess his love for his team. He yells, 'This is for everyone!' and pushes the Patriot fan off the mountain.
GO COLTS!
h/t Otter
The Steeler's fan insists he is the most loyal. 'This is for the Steelers!' he yells, and jumps off the side of the mountain.
Not to be outdone, the Bears fan shouts, 'This is for the Bears!' and throws himself off the mountain.
The COLTS fan is next to profess his love for his team. He yells, 'This is for everyone!' and pushes the Patriot fan off the mountain.
GO COLTS!
h/t Otter
January 9, 2008
Voter ID
Today the Supreme Court will hear a challenge to Indiana's Voter ID Law. The original lawsuit was filed by the Democrat Party and a Democrat lawmaker. Some individuals have an issue with a person proving his identity prior to voting. The law is designed to prevent voter fraud. As the Democrat Party has led the cry against voter fraud, claiming Democrat voters have been disenfranchised in the past several elections, one would think they should be behind this measure. I guess Democrats only see voter fraud when their candidate loses. Just as they only wanted to review ballots in heavily Democrat precincts in Florida, we can only draw the conclusion Democrats do not want elections examined too closely in certain areas. They apparently do not have any interest in verifying Democrat and Republican voters are checked to ensure they are not dead, double voting, and are who they claim to be.
The arguments against the law are it places an undue burden on the poor, minorities and the elderly. Critics of the law also claim that it hurts people who live in rural areas. Indiana, "The Crossroads of America" ranks near the top in highway miles per capita. This is not the turn of the 20th Century. Few need to hook up the old horse and wagon to make the trip to town to vote. Most residents in Indiana live within a few miles of their licence branch. The State will supply an ID free of charge if you cannot afford it. In addition, one does not need to present a photo ID to cast an absentee ballot.
I find it amazing the citizens of this state can get to town to buy groceries and cigarettes. They can go to Church and vote. But getting a photo ID is a burden.
Give me a break.
The arguments against the law are it places an undue burden on the poor, minorities and the elderly. Critics of the law also claim that it hurts people who live in rural areas. Indiana, "The Crossroads of America" ranks near the top in highway miles per capita. This is not the turn of the 20th Century. Few need to hook up the old horse and wagon to make the trip to town to vote. Most residents in Indiana live within a few miles of their licence branch. The State will supply an ID free of charge if you cannot afford it. In addition, one does not need to present a photo ID to cast an absentee ballot.
I find it amazing the citizens of this state can get to town to buy groceries and cigarettes. They can go to Church and vote. But getting a photo ID is a burden.
Give me a break.
January 8, 2008
The view to the west
This is the view to the west from my deck, taken minutes ago. Do you think it might storm?
Happy Birthday
Today is the King's birthday. TCM is showing a marathon of his movies. The TV is on in the background -- a rare event during the day. Right now the King is at the World's Fair and putting the moves on the hot chick. Oh that Elvis. Oh, Oh the chick found out he is a rascal and told him to jump off the Space Needle.
In other news, I see the Hildebeast has resorted to the oldest trick in the book. Now she is shedding crocodile tears, because 'she just cares so muuuch". Makes me want to puke. Like her husband she must be able to turn the tears on and off. Or maybe she was just realizing she was going to lose and that made her cry. What is so sad and pathetic is people will vote for her because she cried.
I would climb from a hospital bed, braving a 104 temperature, splitting sutures and the possible loss of at least one limb to vote against her. Indiana's primary is not until May, and it will be decided by then, but I have considered registering Democrat for the first time ever, just to vote against her. She is bad for the country, bad for me and bad for you.
In other news, I see the Hildebeast has resorted to the oldest trick in the book. Now she is shedding crocodile tears, because 'she just cares so muuuch". Makes me want to puke. Like her husband she must be able to turn the tears on and off. Or maybe she was just realizing she was going to lose and that made her cry. What is so sad and pathetic is people will vote for her because she cried.
I would climb from a hospital bed, braving a 104 temperature, splitting sutures and the possible loss of at least one limb to vote against her. Indiana's primary is not until May, and it will be decided by then, but I have considered registering Democrat for the first time ever, just to vote against her. She is bad for the country, bad for me and bad for you.
January 6, 2008
A movie review
The wife and I went to see this chick flick on Friday night. Some guy dies and sends a series of letters to his widow. He had written them before he died. The theater was filled with crying chicks all wishing their boyfriends/husbands would die and be that romantic. Halfway through the movie the lights came on, the movie stopped and reality set in. The chicks were not with the hot Irish guy, they were with the likes of me. There I sat just like every other man in the place wishing I could punch the author in the nose for setting such unreal expectations.
Anyway, it appeared the film broke, or the machine that plays the disc quit, whatever. The theater guy announced it would be about 5-10 minutes to get the flick (and the tears) running again. The wife determined she needed another gallon or two of butter on her bag of popcorn. She stood up, stumbled and sat down. Being the perceptive guy I am, I mentioned that I thought she was going to get butter. I suggested she could get me a refill on my Coke while she was out in the lobby. She looked at me. Her face was white and she said she had done something to her knee. A few tears leaked from her eyes, and I knew I was going to have to get my own refill. No, seriously I could tell she was in pain. She sat there flexing for a bit and decided she was OK.
I went and got the refill and her butter and the movie was back underway when I returned. After the movie I had to help her down the stairs. I drove up to the door to pick her up. When we got home I made her an ice pack. She could barely walk.
On Sunday she got up completely pain free and could walk fine. Strange Huh?
No, there is no point to this story. We watched a chick flick, my wife twisted her knee and is now OK.
Oh yeah, I was going to write a review. Men, if you want to see a chick flick and watch your wife/girlfriend/date cry then go see PS I Love You. Then come home and try to take advantage of the situation. You just might get lucky (unless your wife trips over a popcorn kernel and hurts her knee). The next day you must watch several hours of Clint Eastwood, John Wayne, and football to restore your manliness levels. Ladies you will love this movie -- go with your girlfriends.
Anyway, it appeared the film broke, or the machine that plays the disc quit, whatever. The theater guy announced it would be about 5-10 minutes to get the flick (and the tears) running again. The wife determined she needed another gallon or two of butter on her bag of popcorn. She stood up, stumbled and sat down. Being the perceptive guy I am, I mentioned that I thought she was going to get butter. I suggested she could get me a refill on my Coke while she was out in the lobby. She looked at me. Her face was white and she said she had done something to her knee. A few tears leaked from her eyes, and I knew I was going to have to get my own refill. No, seriously I could tell she was in pain. She sat there flexing for a bit and decided she was OK.
I went and got the refill and her butter and the movie was back underway when I returned. After the movie I had to help her down the stairs. I drove up to the door to pick her up. When we got home I made her an ice pack. She could barely walk.
On Sunday she got up completely pain free and could walk fine. Strange Huh?
No, there is no point to this story. We watched a chick flick, my wife twisted her knee and is now OK.
Oh yeah, I was going to write a review. Men, if you want to see a chick flick and watch your wife/girlfriend/date cry then go see PS I Love You. Then come home and try to take advantage of the situation. You just might get lucky (unless your wife trips over a popcorn kernel and hurts her knee). The next day you must watch several hours of Clint Eastwood, John Wayne, and football to restore your manliness levels. Ladies you will love this movie -- go with your girlfriends.
January 5, 2008
Rednecks in Action
I am bored with this, I cannot remember which pictures I have already posted. This is the end of this no-humor segment. Caption as you please.
January 4, 2008
Bars are the same everywhere
Three mice are sitting at a bar in a pretty rough neighborhood late at night trying to impress each other about how tough they are. The first mouse orders a scotch, gulps it down and slams the glass on the bar. He turns to the second mouse and says, "When I see a mousetrap, I lie on my back and set it off with my foot. When the bar comes down, I catch it in my teeth, bench press it 20 times to work up an appetite, and then make off with the cheese."
The second mouse orders two shots of bourbon, slams them down and nearly breaks the glasses on the bar. He turns to the first mouse and replies, "Yeah, well, when I see rat poison, I collect as much as I can, take it home, grind it into a powder, and add it to my coffee each morning so I can get a good buzz going for the rest of the day."
The first mouse and the second mouse then turn to the third mouse. The third mouse lets out a long sigh and says to the first two, "I don't have time for this bullshit. I gotta go home and screw the cat."
The second mouse orders two shots of bourbon, slams them down and nearly breaks the glasses on the bar. He turns to the first mouse and replies, "Yeah, well, when I see rat poison, I collect as much as I can, take it home, grind it into a powder, and add it to my coffee each morning so I can get a good buzz going for the rest of the day."
The first mouse and the second mouse then turn to the third mouse. The third mouse lets out a long sigh and says to the first two, "I don't have time for this bullshit. I gotta go home and screw the cat."
January 3, 2008
Stressed by the New Year?
From One to Fifteen Hundred
My first post was on March 22, 2005. This is number 1,500. That is an average of close to 1.5 posts/day -- every day, seven days a week. Your average newspaper columnist writes about twice a week. Of course I do not represent I write with the skill or quality of your typical newsman. I will say there are many days I think my work compares favorably with the scribes in my local birdcage liner. That is more a reflection on the quality of my local newspaper than my body of work, however. I have no idea how many words I have flung into the Ethernet, but I have spent way too many hours on this crazy hobby. So many great bloggers have hung up their keyboards. I miss them all. But I keep finding new friends and blogs to give me the entertainment I crave. There are a lot of bloggers who are more prolific, a great many have more readers daily, and more links. Like my life, this old blog is just average, 80-100 readers with some high-quality links. A few of the cool kids link me, and a lot of good people have me on the old blog roll. Thank you all.
Here is to you good reader. Thanks for stopping by.
On a completely different note, Thank AlGore for global warming. Otherwise it would be downright cold. It is a blistering four (4) Fahrenheit at the old homestead right now.
Who in the hell decided f-ing Iowa and New Hampshire could set the election stage. The whole Iowa Caucus thing is a joke (read up on how it works). How did two of our smallest states get so powerful? I guess it is better than letting the granola bars from Californication decide. How about this idea -- we have a national primary day in all fifty states on the same day? It seems to work for the national elections. That way every state would have a say in which bad choice is available for the national elections.
Here is to you good reader. Thanks for stopping by.
On a completely different note, Thank AlGore for global warming. Otherwise it would be downright cold. It is a blistering four (4) Fahrenheit at the old homestead right now.
Who in the hell decided f-ing Iowa and New Hampshire could set the election stage. The whole Iowa Caucus thing is a joke (read up on how it works). How did two of our smallest states get so powerful? I guess it is better than letting the granola bars from Californication decide. How about this idea -- we have a national primary day in all fifty states on the same day? It seems to work for the national elections. That way every state would have a say in which bad choice is available for the national elections.
January 2, 2008
Monday on Wednesday
The coffee is on. I will pour a cup after I type this sentence. Did you miss me?
Well I am back to work today. I have been on vacation since the seventeenth of December, although the first several days I worked anyway, especially the 17th and 18th. I guess I am glad it is a short week, ease into it a bit. The next week or so will be slow as the industrial might of the nation kicks into gear. Most of my customers will not have time to see me until mid-month, even if I do offer a free lunch or dinner. In any case going back to work offers little excitement. I could live the retired life. I did like getting the paychecks though! I guess I will keep working.
The Daughter has to go back to school Thursday or Friday, the oldest son returns to College on Sunday. The wife and son go back to work and Middle School on Monday. Christmas break is ending for us all. I will miss the kids. It has been great having them home. In the face of Christmas bills, rising fuel costs and shrinking savings with two in College, I know one fact. I am a seriously rich man. Not in cash. But I did win life's lottery. For that I offer humble thanks to God.
A new year is upon us, I have made no resolutions. I intend to try and be happy every day. I want to try to learn something new every day. Those goal are nothing new for me. I think that is enough. They sound like simple goals but doing each makes for a tough day on occasion.
As we head into the New Year I want to reiterate what I said at Christmas, Thank You to each of you that takes time out of your busy day to read my brain droppings. Your visits and comments contribute far more than you know to helping me meet my daily goals of happiness and education. I am indeed blessed.
Well I am back to work today. I have been on vacation since the seventeenth of December, although the first several days I worked anyway, especially the 17th and 18th. I guess I am glad it is a short week, ease into it a bit. The next week or so will be slow as the industrial might of the nation kicks into gear. Most of my customers will not have time to see me until mid-month, even if I do offer a free lunch or dinner. In any case going back to work offers little excitement. I could live the retired life. I did like getting the paychecks though! I guess I will keep working.
The Daughter has to go back to school Thursday or Friday, the oldest son returns to College on Sunday. The wife and son go back to work and Middle School on Monday. Christmas break is ending for us all. I will miss the kids. It has been great having them home. In the face of Christmas bills, rising fuel costs and shrinking savings with two in College, I know one fact. I am a seriously rich man. Not in cash. But I did win life's lottery. For that I offer humble thanks to God.
A new year is upon us, I have made no resolutions. I intend to try and be happy every day. I want to try to learn something new every day. Those goal are nothing new for me. I think that is enough. They sound like simple goals but doing each makes for a tough day on occasion.
As we head into the New Year I want to reiterate what I said at Christmas, Thank You to each of you that takes time out of your busy day to read my brain droppings. Your visits and comments contribute far more than you know to helping me meet my daily goals of happiness and education. I am indeed blessed.
January 1, 2008
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