May 30, 2006
Seems like a good idea to me
Guy K has developed a great idea to "fix" the immigration problem. Read it here. Brilliant, just brilliant.
Cigar of the Month

Yesterday, after toiling all day in the hot sun I parked my fat ass on the deck to enjoy a cold beer (or two) and smoked a cigar. The smoke of choice was La Vieja Habana a cigar from the Jonathan Drew factories (makers of Acid Cigars). This cigar is the best tasting cigar you can find for less than two bucks a smoke. Handmade of quality tobaccos, the only drawback is this is a short filler cigar, but you get what you pay for. This cigar has been my "everyday" smoke for a year or two, and I think I only have one left. Smooth, medium bodied, with a mellow finish this cigar is worth a try. If you like Dunhill, H. Uppman or similar smokes this guy is right up your alley.
Tuesday - this week's second Monday
Here we are at the beginning of another work week. I am sore and tired from a weekend of yard work. Creating, weeding, planting flower beds is not good for this old guy's soft hands. I also mowed the yard and trimmed the yew bushes in front. I still have to power wash the deck and siding sometime this week. Throw in baseball practice and games, and I will have to find time to do the work where I actually get paid! At least I do not have to go to Chicago this week.
May 29, 2006
May 28, 2006
Summertime Memories

A few days ago the wife came home with a handful of Jolly Rancher candies. Being of suspicious nature, I usually do not eat anything without knowing the source. These were wrapped so I thought "What the hell". I ate the sour apple as it is my favorite. Next I sucked on the grape, since I like anything grape flavored. Yesterday, I popped the watermelon Jolly Rancher.
The distinct flavor washed over me and I was instantly transported. I smelled dust and grass and sweat. I pictured the lush greenness of the park. The hot metal smell of the big double slide. I heard the shouts and squeals of delight as kids rode the swings, the merry go round, and the witches hat. I remembered the sounds of the fast-pitch softball games my Dad played. I remembered the thrill of riding a butt-slick curly slide. The taste of that candy reminded me of summers in my youth and the Jolly Ranchers I bought at the park concession stand. It lasted but a second, but it was a nice and wonderful memory. I wish I could explain it better, I lack the skills to describe that vista in my mind. The brain is sure funny.
I think I will buy a bag of Jolly Ranchers the next time I go to the store.
May 27, 2006
May 26, 2006
Not PC, sue me.
Panty Stitcher and Diesel Fitter.....
Manuel and Pedro worked together and both were laid off, so they went to the unemployment office. When asked his occupation, Manuel answered "Panty stitcher. I sew da elastic onto ladies' cotton panties."
The clerk looked up Panty Stitcher. Finding it classified as unskilled
labor, she gave him $300 a week unemployment pay.
Pedro was asked his occupation. "Diesel fitter." he replied. Since
diesel fitter was a skilled job, the clerk gave Pedro $600 a week.
When Manuel found out he was furious. He stormed back into the office to find out why his friend and coworker was collecting double his pay.
The clerk explained, "Panty stitchers are unskilled and diesel fitters
are skilled labor. "What skill?" yelled Manuel, "I sew da elastic on da panties, Pedro puts dem over his head and says,'Yeah, diesel fitter.'"
Manuel and Pedro worked together and both were laid off, so they went to the unemployment office. When asked his occupation, Manuel answered "Panty stitcher. I sew da elastic onto ladies' cotton panties."
The clerk looked up Panty Stitcher. Finding it classified as unskilled
labor, she gave him $300 a week unemployment pay.
Pedro was asked his occupation. "Diesel fitter." he replied. Since
diesel fitter was a skilled job, the clerk gave Pedro $600 a week.
When Manuel found out he was furious. He stormed back into the office to find out why his friend and coworker was collecting double his pay.
The clerk explained, "Panty stitchers are unskilled and diesel fitters
are skilled labor. "What skill?" yelled Manuel, "I sew da elastic on da panties, Pedro puts dem over his head and says,'Yeah, diesel fitter.'"
Friday Funny
A guy falls asleep on the beach for several hours and gets a horrible
sunburn. He is taken to the hospital by ambulance and is promptly admitted
after being diagnosed with second degree burns.
With his skin already starting to blister and noting the severe pain he is
in, the doctor goes ahead and prescribes continuous intravenous feeding with
saline, electrolytes, a sedative and a Viagra pill every four hours.
The nurse, who is rather astounded, asks, "What good will Viagra do for him
now, Doctor?"
"It'll keep the sheets off his legs."
sunburn. He is taken to the hospital by ambulance and is promptly admitted
after being diagnosed with second degree burns.
With his skin already starting to blister and noting the severe pain he is
in, the doctor goes ahead and prescribes continuous intravenous feeding with
saline, electrolytes, a sedative and a Viagra pill every four hours.
The nurse, who is rather astounded, asks, "What good will Viagra do for him
now, Doctor?"
"It'll keep the sheets off his legs."
Friday
I am sitting at the table this morning looking at some blogs, answering Emails for work. I take a sip of coffee and see some movement on my deck. I look up expecting to see a bird taking one of the hundreds of daily craps on the deck. A bunny is sitting on the deck staring through the window at me. I try not to move, to see how long it will last. I try not to scratch my ass or balls, or to swear out loud. Who knows, I have heard Santa sends elves to spy on us to see if we are naughty or nice, maybe the Easter Bunny has his minions as well? He looks a moment and walks away in the awkward long legged style a rabbit does when it is not running.
Two trips in two weeks have convinced me the authorities in Illinois in charge of hiways are sadistic assholes. Is it really necessary to do construction on EVERY SINGLE highway in the Chicago area at once? Do we need half-finished toll booths at every instance? Would it not have been a better plan to finish one toll plaza before starting the next? I feel for OG and others who have to navigate that nightmare on a daily basis. I did buy an Ipass, that helps a little, but now I have that ugly box glued to my windshield.
I have tons of work due today, call reports, two weeks of expense reports, appointments to make etc. After two straight 16 hour plus days, I find little motivation to get after it today. Oh, well it is a long weekend, enjoy it people.
Two trips in two weeks have convinced me the authorities in Illinois in charge of hiways are sadistic assholes. Is it really necessary to do construction on EVERY SINGLE highway in the Chicago area at once? Do we need half-finished toll booths at every instance? Would it not have been a better plan to finish one toll plaza before starting the next? I feel for OG and others who have to navigate that nightmare on a daily basis. I did buy an Ipass, that helps a little, but now I have that ugly box glued to my windshield.
I have tons of work due today, call reports, two weeks of expense reports, appointments to make etc. After two straight 16 hour plus days, I find little motivation to get after it today. Oh, well it is a long weekend, enjoy it people.
May 24, 2006
Pussycat cam
I heard on the radio this morning that Purina is sponsoring a webcast of ten cats all living in a house together. If you watch this you deserve to be shot. I will not offer the link, lest I cause a death from boredom.
As an avid student of history, it is always with interest I study the attitudes and beliefs of our forebears. Scenarios detailing the end of time have often dominated history. Every major religion has an end of time scenario, and many are similar. The Sunni Muslim depiction of the Mahdi is similar to the Jewish Messiah and Christian return of Christ. The turmoil and war that precedes the triumphant return of the Savior is prevalent in all three tales. One can find similar beliefs in many other religions, including the adherents of the Ghost Dance craze among the Plains Indians in the 1890's.
The people of the 5th Century were convinced they were living in the end times. Christianity was making significant inroads into paganism. Daily life was hard, one lived in constant fear of raids by other tribes / nations. The beginnings of the feudal system were taking hold. It was truly the dark ages. The idea of the triumphant return of Christ had great appeal. I am sure many a Christian was disappointed when the year 500 came and went without the Antichrist or the return of the Savior.
We again find ourselves in a time of turmoil. The world appears to poised for the apocalypse. Iran threatening the Promised Land with nukes, nations around the globe poised to unleash nuclear hellfire upon each other in the name of religion. Is the Antichrist among us? Is the end time near? Are we closer than ever? Could we not claim that the days of WWI or WWII were more catastrophic, more terrifying, closer to the war of wars?
What do you think? Are we entering the end times? Is our date with destiny in the far distant future? Will there be the apocalypse? Is it too nice a day to worry about such gloomy fates?
As an avid student of history, it is always with interest I study the attitudes and beliefs of our forebears. Scenarios detailing the end of time have often dominated history. Every major religion has an end of time scenario, and many are similar. The Sunni Muslim depiction of the Mahdi is similar to the Jewish Messiah and Christian return of Christ. The turmoil and war that precedes the triumphant return of the Savior is prevalent in all three tales. One can find similar beliefs in many other religions, including the adherents of the Ghost Dance craze among the Plains Indians in the 1890's.
The people of the 5th Century were convinced they were living in the end times. Christianity was making significant inroads into paganism. Daily life was hard, one lived in constant fear of raids by other tribes / nations. The beginnings of the feudal system were taking hold. It was truly the dark ages. The idea of the triumphant return of Christ had great appeal. I am sure many a Christian was disappointed when the year 500 came and went without the Antichrist or the return of the Savior.
We again find ourselves in a time of turmoil. The world appears to poised for the apocalypse. Iran threatening the Promised Land with nukes, nations around the globe poised to unleash nuclear hellfire upon each other in the name of religion. Is the Antichrist among us? Is the end time near? Are we closer than ever? Could we not claim that the days of WWI or WWII were more catastrophic, more terrifying, closer to the war of wars?
What do you think? Are we entering the end times? Is our date with destiny in the far distant future? Will there be the apocalypse? Is it too nice a day to worry about such gloomy fates?
May 23, 2006
King Arthur
It was beautiful yesterday, high right about 70 and sunny. Today looks like a repeat, no rain until Wednesday night. The sun over the weekend ended a string of 11 straight days of rain. It will be nice for baseball practice this evening. The move to Daylight Savings Time is clear in Indiana, it already is still light after nine PM.
We enjoyed supper on the deck last night. I cooked up barbecue chicken, hashbrown cassarole, corn on the cob, and fresh sliced tomatoes from the farmers market. Finally a tomato that had some taste!
Posting might be light again this week, traveling again to Chicago.
I could offer you the same old rants about our not so conservative President, the low regard I hold for our Senate and Representatives. I could go on about immigration, and the half-assed prosecution of the war on terror, but why bother? Many of you feel the same, and I am bored with it all.
This post, like the one yesterday has nothing to do with King Arthur. I am reading a book about that worthy subject, and he is on my mind.
We enjoyed supper on the deck last night. I cooked up barbecue chicken, hashbrown cassarole, corn on the cob, and fresh sliced tomatoes from the farmers market. Finally a tomato that had some taste!
Posting might be light again this week, traveling again to Chicago.
I could offer you the same old rants about our not so conservative President, the low regard I hold for our Senate and Representatives. I could go on about immigration, and the half-assed prosecution of the war on terror, but why bother? Many of you feel the same, and I am bored with it all.
This post, like the one yesterday has nothing to do with King Arthur. I am reading a book about that worthy subject, and he is on my mind.
May 22, 2006
King Arthur was gay
Good morning. It is bright and sunny in Hooiserland for the third day in a row. At first I was frightened by the big glowing orb in the sky, but then I remembered it was the sun, and it was good. Temperatures are still a bit on the cool side, but at least it is not raining!
I have a question for you, since a Democrat Congressman was caught taking bribes will the media and liberals start screaming about the "culture of corruption" in the Democrat Party? That is what I thought. Here is what I will agree -- politicians are corrupt, greedy, self-serving scum. What do you think?
The baseball team just finished a tough weekend. Due to make up games, we had to play 4 games in three days. We maintained our perfect record. With half the season complete, we are winless. It must be coaching. Oh well, any day at the ballpark is better than a day doing yard work!
School is out in 3 days. Everyone here cannot wait. Have a good day readers.
I have a question for you, since a Democrat Congressman was caught taking bribes will the media and liberals start screaming about the "culture of corruption" in the Democrat Party? That is what I thought. Here is what I will agree -- politicians are corrupt, greedy, self-serving scum. What do you think?
The baseball team just finished a tough weekend. Due to make up games, we had to play 4 games in three days. We maintained our perfect record. With half the season complete, we are winless. It must be coaching. Oh well, any day at the ballpark is better than a day doing yard work!
School is out in 3 days. Everyone here cannot wait. Have a good day readers.
May 21, 2006
May 20, 2006
Is this authentic? It should be.
A retired border patrol agent shows some common sense......
This letter sent to Tennessee Senator Bill Frist from a retired border patrol agent, and it has more common sense than all the bull being spouted from the Senate, with the exception of a few sensible representatives.
Dear Senator Frist:
There is a huge amount of propaganda and myths circulating about illegal aliens, particularly illegal Mexican, Salvadoran, Guatemalan and Honduran aliens.
#1. Illegal aliens generally do NOT want U.S. citizenship. Americans are very vain thinking that everybody in the world wants to be a U.S. citizen. Mexicans, and other nationalities want to remain citizens of their home countries while obtaining the benefits offered by the United States such as employment, medical care, in-state tuition, government subsidized housing and free education for their offspring. Their main attraction is employment and their loyalty usually remains at home. They want benefits earned and subsidized by middle class Americans. What illegal aliens want are benefits of American residence without paying the price.
#2. There are no jobs that Americans won't do. Illegal aliens are doing jobs that Americans can't take and still support their families. Illegal aliens take low wage jobs, live dozens in a single residence home, share expenses and send money to their home country. There are no jobs that Americans won't do for a decent wage.
#3. Every person who illegally entered this nation left a home. They are NOT homeless and they are NOT Americans. Some left jobs in their home countries. They come to send money to their real home as evidenced by the more than 20 billion dollars sent out of the country each year by illegal aliens. These illegal aliens knowingly and willfully entered this nation in violation of the law and therefore assumed the risk of detection and deportation. Those who brought their alien children assumed the responsibility and risk on behalf of their children.
#4. Illegal aliens are NOT critical to the economy. Illegal aliens constitute less than 5% of the work-force. However, they reduce wages and benefits for lawful U.S. residents.
#5. This is NOT an immigrant nation. There are 280 million native born Americans. While it is true that this nation was settled and founded by immigrants (legal immigrants), it is also true that there is not a nation on this planet that was not settled by immigrants at one time or another.
#6. The United States is welcoming to legal immigrants. Illegal aliens are not immigrants by definition. The U.S. accepts more lawful immigrants every year than the rest of the world combined.
#7 There is no such thing as the "Hispanic vote". Hispanics are white, brown, black and every shade in between. Hispanics are Republicans, Democrats, Anarchists, Communists, Marxists and Independents The so-called "Hispanic vote" is a myth. Pandering to illegal aliens to get the Hispanic vote is a dead end.
#8. Mexico is NOT a friend of the United States. Since 1848 Mexicans have resented the United States. During World War I Mexico allowed German Spies to operate freely in Mexico to spy on the U.S. During World War II Mexico allowed the Axis powers to spy on the U.S. from Mexico . During the Cold War Mexico allowed spies hostile to the U.S. to operate freely. The attack on the Twin Towers in 2001 was cheered and applauded all across Mexico. Today Mexican school children are taught that the U.S. stole California, Arizona, new Mexico and Texas. If you don't believe it, check out some Mexican textbooks written for their schoolchildren.
#9. Although some illegal aliens enter this country for a better life, there are 6 billion people on this planet. At least 1 billion of those live on less than one dollar a day. If wanting a better life is a valid excuse to break the law and sneak into America, then let's allow those one billion to come to America and we'll turn the USA into a Third World nation overnight. Besides, there are 280 million native born Americans who want a better life. I'll bet Bill Gates and Donald Trump want a better life. When will the USA lifeboat be full? Since when is wanting a better life a good reason to trash another nation?
#10. There is a labor shortage in this country. This is a lie. There are hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of American housewives, senior citizens, students, unemployed and underemployed who would gladly take jobs at a decent wage.
#11. It is racist to want secure borders. What is racist about wanting secure borders and a secure America? What is racist about not wanting people to sneak into America and steal benefits we have set aside for legal aliens, senior citizens, children and other legal residents? What is it about race that entitles people to violate our laws, steal identities, and take the American Dream without paying the price? For about four decades American politicians have refused to secure our borders and look after the welfare of middle class Americans. These politicians have been of both parties. A huge debt to American society has resulted. This debt will be satisfied and the interest will be high. There has already been riots in the streets by illegal aliens and their supporters. There will be more.
You, as a politician, have a choice to offend the illegal aliens who have stolen into this country and demanded the rights afforded to U.S. citizens or to offend those of us who are stakeholders in this country. The interest will be steep either way. There will be civil unrest. There will be a reckoning. Do you have the courage to do what is right for America? Or, will you bow to the wants and needs of those who don't even have the right to remain here? There will be a reckoning. It will come in November of this year, again in 2008 and yet again in 2010. We will not allow America to be stolen by third world agitators and thieves.
David J. Stoddard U.S. Border Patrol (RET) Hereford, Arizona
This letter sent to Tennessee Senator Bill Frist from a retired border patrol agent, and it has more common sense than all the bull being spouted from the Senate, with the exception of a few sensible representatives.
Dear Senator Frist:
There is a huge amount of propaganda and myths circulating about illegal aliens, particularly illegal Mexican, Salvadoran, Guatemalan and Honduran aliens.
#1. Illegal aliens generally do NOT want U.S. citizenship. Americans are very vain thinking that everybody in the world wants to be a U.S. citizen. Mexicans, and other nationalities want to remain citizens of their home countries while obtaining the benefits offered by the United States such as employment, medical care, in-state tuition, government subsidized housing and free education for their offspring. Their main attraction is employment and their loyalty usually remains at home. They want benefits earned and subsidized by middle class Americans. What illegal aliens want are benefits of American residence without paying the price.
#2. There are no jobs that Americans won't do. Illegal aliens are doing jobs that Americans can't take and still support their families. Illegal aliens take low wage jobs, live dozens in a single residence home, share expenses and send money to their home country. There are no jobs that Americans won't do for a decent wage.
#3. Every person who illegally entered this nation left a home. They are NOT homeless and they are NOT Americans. Some left jobs in their home countries. They come to send money to their real home as evidenced by the more than 20 billion dollars sent out of the country each year by illegal aliens. These illegal aliens knowingly and willfully entered this nation in violation of the law and therefore assumed the risk of detection and deportation. Those who brought their alien children assumed the responsibility and risk on behalf of their children.
#4. Illegal aliens are NOT critical to the economy. Illegal aliens constitute less than 5% of the work-force. However, they reduce wages and benefits for lawful U.S. residents.
#5. This is NOT an immigrant nation. There are 280 million native born Americans. While it is true that this nation was settled and founded by immigrants (legal immigrants), it is also true that there is not a nation on this planet that was not settled by immigrants at one time or another.
#6. The United States is welcoming to legal immigrants. Illegal aliens are not immigrants by definition. The U.S. accepts more lawful immigrants every year than the rest of the world combined.
#7 There is no such thing as the "Hispanic vote". Hispanics are white, brown, black and every shade in between. Hispanics are Republicans, Democrats, Anarchists, Communists, Marxists and Independents The so-called "Hispanic vote" is a myth. Pandering to illegal aliens to get the Hispanic vote is a dead end.
#8. Mexico is NOT a friend of the United States. Since 1848 Mexicans have resented the United States. During World War I Mexico allowed German Spies to operate freely in Mexico to spy on the U.S. During World War II Mexico allowed the Axis powers to spy on the U.S. from Mexico . During the Cold War Mexico allowed spies hostile to the U.S. to operate freely. The attack on the Twin Towers in 2001 was cheered and applauded all across Mexico. Today Mexican school children are taught that the U.S. stole California, Arizona, new Mexico and Texas. If you don't believe it, check out some Mexican textbooks written for their schoolchildren.
#9. Although some illegal aliens enter this country for a better life, there are 6 billion people on this planet. At least 1 billion of those live on less than one dollar a day. If wanting a better life is a valid excuse to break the law and sneak into America, then let's allow those one billion to come to America and we'll turn the USA into a Third World nation overnight. Besides, there are 280 million native born Americans who want a better life. I'll bet Bill Gates and Donald Trump want a better life. When will the USA lifeboat be full? Since when is wanting a better life a good reason to trash another nation?
#10. There is a labor shortage in this country. This is a lie. There are hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of American housewives, senior citizens, students, unemployed and underemployed who would gladly take jobs at a decent wage.
#11. It is racist to want secure borders. What is racist about wanting secure borders and a secure America? What is racist about not wanting people to sneak into America and steal benefits we have set aside for legal aliens, senior citizens, children and other legal residents? What is it about race that entitles people to violate our laws, steal identities, and take the American Dream without paying the price? For about four decades American politicians have refused to secure our borders and look after the welfare of middle class Americans. These politicians have been of both parties. A huge debt to American society has resulted. This debt will be satisfied and the interest will be high. There has already been riots in the streets by illegal aliens and their supporters. There will be more.
You, as a politician, have a choice to offend the illegal aliens who have stolen into this country and demanded the rights afforded to U.S. citizens or to offend those of us who are stakeholders in this country. The interest will be steep either way. There will be civil unrest. There will be a reckoning. Do you have the courage to do what is right for America? Or, will you bow to the wants and needs of those who don't even have the right to remain here? There will be a reckoning. It will come in November of this year, again in 2008 and yet again in 2010. We will not allow America to be stolen by third world agitators and thieves.
David J. Stoddard U.S. Border Patrol (RET) Hereford, Arizona
May 18, 2006
Chicago, My Kind of Town
Traveling again this week, I am off to the Windy City and NW Indiana. It looks like I will be hitting Chicago on a regular basis from now on, so a mini Hoosier blog meet may be in order later this summer. What do you think Og, Alli?
A classic...
A classic...
THE HORTH WITHPERER.....
Bob calls his buddy Sam, the horse rancher, and says he's sending a friend over to look at a horse. Sam asks "How will I recognize him?"
That's easy, he's a midget with a speech impediment."
So, the midget shows up, and Sam asks him if he's looking for a male or female horse.
"A female horth."
So he shows him a prized filly.
"Nith lookin horth. Can I thee her eyeth"?
Sam picks up the midget and he gives the horse's eyes the once over.
"Nith eyeth, can I thee her earzth"? So he picks the little fella up again, and shows him the horse's ears.
"Nith earzth, can I see her mouf"?
The rancher is gettin' pretty ticked off by this point, but he picks him up again and shows him the horse's mouth.
"Nice mouf, can I see her twat"?
Totally mad at this point, the rancher grabs him under his arms and rams the midget's head as far as he can up the horse's twat, pulls him out and slams him on the ground.
The midget gets up, sputtering and coughing. "Perhapth I should rephrase that; Can I thee her wun awound a widdlebit."
May 17, 2006
Take it easy
The broadband is working, I hooked up the wireless with no trouble at all. Thanks to all who offered their help (that includes you Jerry).
The weather looks like it will finally break today, partly sunny and temps hitting the 70's. I hope the weather holds -- we have a full slate of baseball scheduled for this weekend. 4 games in three days -- the pitchers will be worn out!
As I expected, GW offered nothing of substance. If it is the desire of the President that immigrants should learn English, he should immediately issue an Executive Order demanding all Federal Government documents, signs, paperwork, etc. be printed only in English. That is what I thought. Allowing illegals to stay under any circumstances is amnesty -- I do not care what you call it. The whole plan is just window dressing put up to make the Repubs appear to be doing something to save the midterm elections. Write your Senator and tell him what you think!
The weather looks like it will finally break today, partly sunny and temps hitting the 70's. I hope the weather holds -- we have a full slate of baseball scheduled for this weekend. 4 games in three days -- the pitchers will be worn out!
As I expected, GW offered nothing of substance. If it is the desire of the President that immigrants should learn English, he should immediately issue an Executive Order demanding all Federal Government documents, signs, paperwork, etc. be printed only in English. That is what I thought. Allowing illegals to stay under any circumstances is amnesty -- I do not care what you call it. The whole plan is just window dressing put up to make the Repubs appear to be doing something to save the midterm elections. Write your Senator and tell him what you think!
May 16, 2006
I am broadband
I now have a broadband cable modem. I'm as fast as Tony Sterart, baby.
Next up -- wireless networking. I will become an computer geek yet.
Next up -- wireless networking. I will become an computer geek yet.
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