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Allergies are kicking my ass.  I have not been this affected for twenty years. I think it is the lack of  rain is allowing the pollen and dust to fill the air.

Hold on.

OK I'm back. Every morning around 7:30 a damn dove lands atop my fireplace chimney and starts his cooing bullshit.  It echoes down the flue and sounds like  a whole herd of the bastards are in the living room. A well aimed ice cube moves the damn bird on its way.  I would prefer to use a pellet gun, but the wife objects.  Plus shooting up at that angle is a tough shot. The dove will probably take a shit on my car later this morning.

I'm off to convince a potential new customer to buy my widgets.  I sold them stuff 15 years ago when I worked for another company. None of the old players are still around, so I am starting from scratch.

King Obama

Leaders of both parties have ignored the immigration problem for decades. The current President intends to decide the matter by fiat, issuing law via proclamation. We should all be concerned with that policy. Allowing the President to take on dictatorial powers is a danger to our Republic. The next time it may be a policy you do not like. Dictators like to round up troublemakers...

I get it. Pandering to the Hispanic vote is all about elections and power. Democrats and Republicans alike can count.  Hispanics population is growing faster than any other category. Experts say that by 2050 Hispanics will outnumber whites. The Democrats are determined to capture those votes.  The Republicans are determined they will not have another race block voting Democrat in every election. In spite of Republicans ending slavery, and passing the civil rights bills and desegregating the schools, blacks vote about 95% Democrat. The Republicans can not allow the Hispanic voted to follow a similar path.

I am confused by the Unions and their support for the Democrat amnesty policies on illegal immigration.  The attraction for employers is the cheap labor the illegals offer. The roofing, construction and lawn and garden industry is dominated by Hispanics.  The migrant farm workers who pick the fruit and produce is overwhelmingly Hispanic.  In fact, any low-paying job is filled by Hispanics. Union workers are left out of bids due to low cost operators. Illegals will not unionize out of fear of deportation.  Yet the unions back the very people who are costing them jobs.

Thanks Dad

Happy Father's Day to all you Dads out there.

Filthy Democrats

Why when the Democrats had control of Congress, elections had consequences, but when the Dems are not in charge compromise becomes the mark of a true statesman?

It is probably Bush's fault.

Seriously secret signals from Syria

So...here we are. It is a Friday morning. You want content, I want content. You want to be entertained. I want to oblige.

I have watched the cursor for some time this morning.  In spite of my highest hopes it is not blinking hints and insight in Morse Code. Unless I am supposed to type a repeating 'SSSSSSSSSS for the next upteen hours, there is no help forthcoming from the blink blink of the cursed cursor.  Perhaps it is a repeating 'OOOOOOOO'? As there is no variation in the on-off pulse of the evil cursor, I know my computer is not sending me a secret SOS (...---...).

I learned the Morse code for SOS from an old Superman episode as a kid.  Jimmy sent up smoke to get Superman's attention.  See, TV can teach us valuable stuff. I learned semaphore back in my Boy Scout days. I do not remember any of it after four decades of non-use.. Even if I could still message via signal flags, who could read it?

Imagine I am deep in the wilderness and came across a secret liberal indoctrination camp, designed by Bill Ayres to provide attitude adjustment for us bitter clinger-types. My cell phone has no signal, radio and shortwave bands are blocked. I rip my red T-shirt and sew it to my tighty-whiteys.  I wave my discovery, one letter at a time, to the nearest mountain top. A trusty gun club is there, armed and ready to defend our Rights.  Alas, no one can decipher my weird flag waving. The Republic is doomed! If only Jimmy Olsen had used semaphore instead of Morse code...

Friday Covers, Thursday Edition

The original by Tommy James and the Shondelles. The tremolo voice effect was achieved by running the voice mike through the guitar amp. Pretty edgy for 1968. According to the notoriously inaccurate Wikipedia, James used an Ampeg guitar amp. My son has one of these now rare 1960's era Ampeg guitar amps.



Joan Jett, fresh out of the Runaways, tackles the tune in her solo debut. I remember this version blasting from the jukebox down at the Pizza King while my girlfriend (and current wife) and I played MS Packman.



For you who dig modern artists, here is American Idol Kelly Clarkson covering the tune live. I like this version.



And finally the wee one, Prince, the symbol, whatever, butchers it almost beyond recognition.

SAE 52100 is a high carbon, chromium containing low alloy steel

The chefs and cooks on the Food Network often lament the lack of smell-o-vision. I concur.  But if I were to direct the leading scientist of our generation to invent a truly needed device, I would ask for a sarcasm font for the interwebz. Of course, had I such a command for my laptop, much of what I write here and in intra-company Emails would be in that font.

For instance when I type that "I am excited I get to go to Detroit this week", you would know the sentence is dripping in sarcasm if I had 'sarcasm font'.. Upon further thought, the fact the the destination city is Detroit may be the only indication required to know sarcasm is alive and active in the writing...

John Knowles wrote that sarcasm is the protest of the weak. I say it is a sharp utility knife, ready to cut.

Dear MLB

Inter-league play sucks, makes the World Series and the entire playoff system pointless, and serves no point.

Is there anyone who wants more inter-league play, or even likes it now?

Trying to break through

I was listening to my favorite band yesterday. I ran across this video I had not seen before.  This is the instrumental the band often plays to start a live show.  Check it out:



Do not just skip the video. I know that is what you do, but not this time. Fossil Generation has moved to a Rush-type sound.  The band calls it progressive pop.

Check it out and if you get a chance to see them live, go for it.

You get what you pay for

I am aware. After all, this is my blog. I know lately I have naught to offer you but banal glimpses into my perfectly normal but remarkably uninteresting life. You stop by and electronically look in through the windows and see a middle aged asshole sitting in a recliner watching John Wayne on the TV.

What you want is a glimpse of me and the missus wrestling naked on a Crisco covered tarp. Well, admittedly a much younger, fitter, better looking version of us where the chick has extra large hooters and the guy can last hours in a sexual lovemaking marathon. Don't pretend otherwise, we have been friends far too long for that kind of lie.

 You want to see cats chasing laser pens or puppies looking cute.  You will settle for a half-crazed fat guy perched upon a soapbox waving his arms in Hitleresque fashion while shouting a diatribe against the political powers. You want to see angry spittle fly from my lips and righteous vexation coloring my face purple.  You long to witness my veins pulsing with high pressure and patriotic indignation.

It is coming.  View the current crop of uninteresting blog words merely the lull before the storm, the peaceful flow of the river before the rapids. Elections are coming. As long as we have voters who posses infantile notions of equal outcomes, of economic ignorance, who have an astounding lack of historical perspective and understanding, I will have a rant to deliver. I believe education is a life-long process and it is our duty to teach what we know. Even if the words hurt the liberals wittle feewings.

Using rabbit milk for the lactose intolerant

I am a bit slow getting to the old blogeroo this fine and sunny morning. We had a great day at our friend's house -- swimming, cigars, beer, euchre, more swimming, more beer, another cigar...You get the idea.

For supper we went to a local BBQ dive. I had the ultimate sandwich. This baby was a big hoagie roll, topped with pulled pork, bacon, ham, a fried pork burger and topped with cheddar  cheese sauce. I finished this heart attack on a bun with a side of fried pickles and just for the irony, a Diet Coke. Porkapalooza indeed.

I have naught on tap for today unless I decide to mow the yard. If you are so inclined you could thank G-D for his blessings today. I will.

Have a great Sunday.

Turnip farming basics

It is Saturday. I am in a lazy mood.  We are off later today to hang out with some friends and soak in their pool. Sucks to be you today. Just to rub salt in the wound, I went early to the bakery and picked up some fresh donuts for breakfast.  Don't hate me because I get to swim and eat donuts on a Saturday.

Hate me because I am a self-righteous asshole. Hate for my poor writing skills and worse spelling.  Hate me because you are a liberal fucktard with no understanding of basic economics or history.

But not for fresh donuts.

Cakes and Candles

Today is my wife's birthday.  I won't mention her age, it is not polite. She maintains she is 49. We will have to accept that.  We do not have big plans to celebrate beyond dinner out this evening. You are welcome to tag along, as long as you pick up your own check.

Better yet, I suggest you all go out to eat this evening in honor of my wife's birthday. Tip your waiter well, in most states that is all they get for pay. Make sure you tell the hostess/waiter/waitress/manager you are celebrating Charlotte's birthday.  Imagine the confusion when you admit Charlotte is some woman in Indiana. Chaos. Hilarity.

You have your mission. Report back your successful celebration.

As always, if you or any member of your team is caught or captured I will disavow any knowledge of your activity. Good luck.

I bought my wireless router six years ago. At the time it was a good one. It had to run my laptop. Just my laptop. Today we are using wireless on a wide assortment of electronics from laptops to iPads to phones to printers. Throw in the internet phone from work and the X-Box and Playstation and we have serious wireless problems. If the boy booted up a game, everyone else lost wireless for a moment.

I purchased a new router yesterday.  The electronics guy assured me my new one is powerful enough to run everything at once. I was set to go top-of-the line but he brought me down one level. You don't see that often.

As usual, I opted to start the installation around 10:00 last night. It should have been easy. Of course, I had to call my ISP. He walked me through some setup issues and I was finally off and 'puting a little after midnight. The router is secured by complicated password, and the household devices are reset to the new network. Except the printer. I cannot remember how to set up the wireless printer.

Age and not tech-savy is a bad combination.

Arrgh

I tried three times to publish a D-Day post yesterday.  Every time I hit "publish", Blogger gave me a blank screen.  If I moved off the blank screen, I lost my post.

I guess I am down to three options. Let Google be the boss of me and install Chrome. Move to my backup Wordpress blog, or quit altogether.

I sure hate to be told what to do.

update.  Ok, it looks like this post went up.  I guess it was the pictures that caused problems yesterday.

And boy are my arms tired

I flew in to the Queen City last evening and the flight was bumpy the whole way.  As we were making our descent, the ride was jinking and jumping so much the attendants abandoned the trash pickup and seat belt check. 

My secret inner Walter Mitty took over and for a moment I imagined I was in a B-17 over the heart of Germany heading for a bombing run to Schweinfurt or Regensburg, my plane buffeted by a barrage of flack from Nazi ack-ack.

Unlike our brave grandfathers and fathers who defeated the Axis evil, I was in no real danger.  In fact, I have been on worse plane rides. But the air was surprisingly turbulent for what appeared to be a sunny day.

I need a vacation to recover from the weekend

I am a bit behind on the news and politics of the day. We had a great weekend. Graduation was as expected.  The graduates were exhorted to look to the future, there was talk about the road of life, blah, blah, I did not listen too closely. Names were called, diplomas were passed, choirs sang, mortar board caps were tossed.  White trash hooted and yelled when their progeny walked across the stage. As Walter Cronkite would intone --"And you were there".

Lots of family and friends stopped by the house. There was enough food to feed the Sudan with some left over for Ethiopia. Too many sweets. Everyone took home food and we still have some leftovers. The weather was perfect, albeit a little windy. We played some cornhole, drank some beer, and the boy even joined us on the deck for a nice stogie. Our very good friends stayed and helped us clean up -- how cool is that?

But now it is Monday and it is back to work. The highways and byways and perhaps even the friendly skies will be my workplace this week as I try my best to overcome Obamanomics and make some money.  Happy Monday!

Pomp and Circumstance

My youngest will graduate from High School this morning. I know he is ready.  He will be heading off to Indiana University in the fall.  Collectively we have passed another mile marker on life's highway.. I seem to be picking up speed, the markers are starting to look like a picket fence.

He is a fine young man. All three of my kids have turned out well. Their Mom has been a good influence.

The house is clean and the food is ready for the Open House after the ceremony.

damn

The Unk is gone.

Soda Envy

Na na na I can have it.  New Yowkers soon will not be able to.

Why the People who reside in Sodom on the Hudson are not down at City Hall with torches and pitchforks is beyond me. Even proposing a ban on sodas is a violation of freedom so egregious, tar and feathers is the only answer.