Friday Music

Today we present the King. I prefer to think of him like this, not wrapped around a toilet puking up a deadly cocktail of booze, amphetamines and peanut butter  'nanna sandwiches. Have I ever written about my visits (yes plural) to Graceland? RIP Elvis.

True Story

Sometimes you just have to admire moxie.  For the past few weeks I have been plagued by calls on my cell phone by a certain telemarketer. The calls hail from Jamaica and the garbled message always instructs me to call a number to claim my prize. They call at about the same time every evening.

I ignored the calls for about a week. On Monday,  I was on my way to Chicago, listening to the floundering Cubbies on the radio when the cell phone ring interrupted the broadcast. It was my Jamaican buddies. Apparently these guys were not going to give up, so I decided to put a stop to the calls. I answered. As the guy started his spiel, I interrupted to inform the caller I am not interested, remove me from the list, and told him he was violating Indiana and Federal Law by calling me. The guy would not take no for an answer and kept at it. I gave him a shouted "Fuck you" and hung up. There is nothing like a bit of childish satisfaction to momentarily soothe the wounds of a lifetime rooting for a crappy baseball team. 

Flash forward to Tuesday evening. I was driving towards my next stop on my make-a-living tour and my cell rang.  It was a call from Jamaica; the same old number. I answered, and a voice asked "Is this Joe?".  Before I can tell him off one more time, I heard a shout -- "Fuck you too!" and the caller hung up.

All I could do is laugh. Hell, if they call again, I just might listen to his script. Us assholes have to give each other some professional courtesy.

On the other hand...

For every good thing in life there is a corresponding bad thing. For instance in Christian theology there is God and Satan. Eastern philosophy gives us the Yen and Yang. Closer to home we find in our political system conservatives and f-ing liberal commie bastards. Good and evil are all around us.

This morning it was a cool 47 F when I made the short walk to the curb to grab my morning newspaper. It is August and it is FORTY FREAKING SEVEN DEGREES! Last night on the late news the weather girl said  we have had but 5 days all year where temperatures reached 90 degrees.  WTF? This is the global warming AlGore warned me about? On the good side of my morning I had some Hostess little chocolate donuts! Yes, the breakfast of choice is back on the store shelves. Every bite of sugary, waxy chocolate goodness was a vivid reminder that the unions and liberal Democrats cannot kill all good things in life.

I can paste a smile of morning contentment upon my lips as I rummage through the closet to find my slippers and a sweatshirt. Are you listening Mother Nature -- it is August, not October!

There outta be a law...

Today I present example 3,417 of why big government is the problem, not the solution, to society's ills. Too many times our lawmakers design a one-size-fits-all approach and the result is often a Rube Goldberg-like plan that involves the use of a gold-plated sledgehammer to kill a fruit fly.

Pictorial depiction of Senate Enrolled Act 352

A case in point is an Indiana law that requires every school system in the state to develop a plan to combat gang violence. Faculty, students, and staff will have to be trained on gang activity and violence.  Schools will have to monitor and report on gang activity within their school system. Thank you Indiana Legislators for dropping this turd of a law -- Senate Enrolled Act 352 -- on the school systems of Indiana. Well, except for private and charter schools -- they do not have to comply with the law.

This law means a person or persons will have these duties added on to their workload, or in some cases an additional employee may have to be added to develop this plan and cover the reporting requirements to the State Department of Education. Since it is likely there are few school administrators trained in combating or recognizing gang activity, the state will have to offer training for the trainers. We will have to pay the expense of this training and the travel to the training site. Teachers and staff will have to attend the training after the school system develops the plan, and this will take time from the actual business of teaching students. The students will have a module on gangs and that will take class time from reading, math, science or history.

Lest we forget, all of this training, plan developing, reporting and the expenses for materials all come from the hard earned wages of working Hoosiers.  The State has no issue using our taxes to fund this program. Let us not forget the largest portion of our tax rate, in most cases, is for school funding.

Gang members in their colors, flashing gang signs

I have no doubt there are school districts in the urban areas that are combating gang activity. I also am quite confident that gangs are not a problem in the majority of school districts within the state.

I live in one of the "doughnut" counties that surrounds Indianapolis. Still, according to the local fish wrap, the police chief and school superintendent of the school district that covers my hometown report they are not aware of any gang activity in our local schools. I am sure the much smaller districts that comprise the rest of the county have even fewer issues.

Yet these school districts, some of which have a total district enrollment of just over 1,000 students K-12, will have to spend time and money combating gangs. The only "gang" found in these schools is the age-old conflict between the jocks and nerds. In a few isolated cases there may deadly turf battles between the Sunshine Society and the Future Farmers of America. I believe that is the conflict depicted in West Side Story.

Everyone is constantly complaining about our "failing" schools. Perhaps if we allowed the schools to get back to their core competencies, the "three Rs", our test scores would improve. Instead, our teachers spend hours each week reporting and administering when they could be teaching or developing lesson plans.  Idiotic, catch-all legislation like the gang law is a perfect example of the problems presented by big government intrusion.

I am mightily tempted

My favorite band of all time is Yes. Progressive rock is not every one's cup of tea, but differing tastes in music, art, and literature are one of the nuances that make life interesting. I am particularly fond of the band's older material and listen to it frequently. This past March, my youngest son and I traveled to Louisville to see the band live for my birthday. I even mentioned it here on the old blog at the time. The band wraps its current tour in Indy tonight. They are playing three of my favorite albums in their entirety, in order, on this tour (the Yes album/Close to the Edge/Going for the One).

I would like to go see them again tonight. Unfortunately, I have to travel for work. Damn job keeps me from doing stuff  I want. That is sarcasm, in case my sarcasm font does not show up on your monitor. I realize the job makes it possible to do the stuff I want.

To be honest, If I really wanted to attend the show, I could make it work. It is possible to see a rock concert in Indy on Monday night and still be at O'Hare at 6:00 am to pick up your boss for a couple of Chicago-area business meetings on Tuesday morning. In the wild days of my youth I used to claim I would sleep when I was dead. My body and brain have convinced me that axiom is false. I need my sleep now. Getting old sucks.

A Sunday post about Saturday

Yesterday morning I posted the picture found in the post below, then surfed around the  interwebz for a while.  I decided a bit of breakfast was in order. I threw a potato into the microwave for a quick cook.  While the world's most expensive popcorn popper/veggie heater/TV dinner maker did its thing, I diced up one half of a Vidalia onion and a medium sized jalapeno. I threw the peppers and onion into a small skillet to cook. I seasoned the onions with a bit of salt and a few red pepper flakes. About the time the onions got soft the spud was done.  I hastily cut the potato into chunks and added it to the onions and pepper and then fried the whole mess for a bit. I poured the hash browns onto a plate and dropped a couple of eggs into the skillet to cook to a nice over-easy. I put the eggs on top of the potatoes with a dash of salt and my breakfast was complete. No pics, 'cause I ate it too fast and I do not want to inflame the haters out there.

Stuff I have seen

Columbia River Gorge east of Portland, OR as seen from Crown Point.

I like my tinfoil hat fashioned like Robin Hood's

I had to take a brief jaunt via airplane earlier this week.  I was struck by the number of TSA and police in the airport; dogs, patrols in the concourse, officers straying away from the security screening areas. Then, a significant number of flights, including mine, were delayed out of Charlotte yesterday. Now late afternoon delays out of Charlotte or Atlanta in the summer are not unusual. But there were no storms in the area, and in each case the gate personnel cited FFA FAA holds for the cause. I know the President mouthed off about intercepting plans to attack our embassies, perhaps he was able to keep his lips zipped about possible airline attacks? Maybe the delays were the typical "too many flights in and out at the same time" in the eastern seaboard metropolis? Only the shadow, and his hairdresser, know for sure.

On the bright side, it is Friday and you are clamoring for some music to get you through your day.    Damnit I said you are clamoring...



I don't think Bob has made it to the Friday Music post before.

Liberals and conservatives all agree

A few weeks ago the girl at the donut shop gave me a frequent buyer punch card. If I buy enough donuts over time I will get a half dozen donuts free. That is something we can all agree upon -- free donuts are a very, very good thing.

Revisionist history...

...is all of the rage these days. I think if a popular novelist were to cast President Obama in the role of Prime Minister of Great Britain during the dark hours of WWII, we could envision a scenario where the citizens are evacuated from Coventry, and Obama makes a radio address claiming credit for saving lives based on ultra secret intelligence gleaned from our ability to read certain German codes.

Of course the Germans would then change their codes and methods of communication, but Obama would have saved lives!

BOHICA Ohio

Indiana and Florida are going to need some serious lube as well. ObamaCare is about to drop and hefty economic anvil right on your head.

Remember when the President promised us our premiums would decrease if we passed his horrible plan? We are finally finding out what is in the law -- huge economic turds. Fuck you stupid liberals in Ohio. You Democrats in the Hoosier state can bite me. You get what you deserve.  Too bad you are punishing the rest of us with your insane, fiscally irresponsible politics.BOHICA America.

I quit procrastinating, starting tomorrow

I'm sitting here staring at the cursor, searching in vain for interesting words to entertain you.  At this point I will do anything to put off for a few more minutes the daunting task of compiling my expense reports. I hate doing expense reports. I have more than two months of travel to document, including a trip to China. That week will be especially painful as I have to convert Chinese currency to good old US Dollars. I did a lot of travel and entertaining in June and July and I have a pile of receipts -- hold on, I just got out a ruler --  almost one inch tall (compressed)! I hate myself and my procrastination today. I vow never, ever to let the work pile up again.

But  I am a liar. After spending the day on expense reports, I will be so sick of the work I suspect I will let the receipts pile up and I will find myself in mid-September doing the dance all over again. Bad habits are the hardest to kill.

We must do something

I am somewhat surprised the liberals are not filling the airwaves and plastering the interwebz with calls for action and immediate legislation following the actions of a lone gunman driver at a California beach over the weekend.

Surely we need to ban automobiles? At least scary black ones like the one used in the murders at Venice Beach?

"...We're sure glad to be in Kokomo tonight"

The oldest boy and his band played in Kokomo over the weekend.  Their experience was a little different than this.

In any case, this is still one of the funniest clips in all moviedom.



I have long encouraged my son to introduce the final song at each show with the quip "this is one of the favorites of the horn section". He refuses. Some people have no sense of humor. More likely he does not get the reference.

a little night music

Last evening the wife and I traveled to Kokomo, IN to see the oldest boy's band perform live at Weberfest '13. They were one of the opening acts, scheduled in the middle of the bill. The stage was a performance pavilion in a downtown park. It was a good venue for the free concerts. There was a beer tent and several food trucks and tents set up.

Fun fact: Kokomo was the home of Elwood P. Haynes, who may or may not have made the first gas-powered automobile in the US. The city still has a rich automotive fabric with Chrysler and to a lessor extent GM plants employing thousands. Kokomo is a blue collar town and proud of it.

Here is another weird fun fact you will find most uninteresting: I grew up about 25 miles from Kokomo. Other than for business in the past few years, or driving through on US 31 heading elsewhere, I suspect I have been to the city less than a half dozen times in my life. I do not recall ever being in the downtown area before Saturday.

The band was in good form.  There was a decent crowd.  The band's  music is well suited for an outdoor venue. My son said it is hard to play in an outdoor setting because he cannot see the lights on his sound pedals as well. The band appeared to be well received by the crowd.  The day, though it started out dreary and cloudy, turned out beautiful -- sunny and in the mid-seventies. It was a good evening all around.

Stuff I have seen

An age-old journey

It is a overcast, drizzly Saturday morning. It fits my mood.

 We moved the little one back to college yesterday. He is not the little one any more, he is taller than me, but he will always be our baby. He is starting his sophomore year in an apartment rather than a dorm. Classes do not start for a couple of weeks, but he was more than ready to head back.  I don't blame him.  I was the same at his age.

This time it was much harder because I know he is likely gone for good. Oh, he will be back for holidays and an occasional weekend, but he has taken that first real leap from the nest and once he knows he can fly and soar it is never the same. It did not bother me much to move any of my kids into a dorm room. Everyone involved knew that was temporary.  But an apartment with a year-long lease is pretty much permanent.

It was the same with my two oldest kids, once you start moving the furniture out of their bedrooms you know they are stepping a tentative foot onto their own path of life and destiny. They are on their own for all of life's necessities -- food, shelter, toilet paper. Even if I am helping foot the bill.

It is a little exciting and a lot sad.


Edit.  Then Ralph has to go and send me to this column.

I'm really not even surprised

I'm asshole deep in figurative alligators this morning, so you are either going to have to take my word for it, or do a little homework yourself. I am not going to offer up links and such. Heck, no one clicks on the links anyway.

Under pressure from the President and leaders of Congress the Office of Personnel Management has exempted Congressional staffers from ObamaCare. Congresscritters from both sides of the aisle were concerned there would be a serious "brain drain" if staffers had to eat the high cost of buying their own insurance and complying with the laws mandates.

In other news, the very people tasked with enforcing ObamaCare, IRS agents have lobbied to exempt their union from the devastating costs associated with ObamaCare.

Even Howard Dean admits the law will lead to rationing and Death Panels.

Words fail me.

Friday Music

Why Not?

Here's your less than forty character update

work busy no post 2 day