Please help me Obama-wan Kenobi

It has been pointed out to me in my comments and elsewhere that my political beliefs are a relic of the past. I simply a dinosaur in the modern world. Henceforth, I am going to try and get with the modern era. I am going to embrace the world of the modern progressive. I feel it is the right thing to do.

First off, let us look to the benefits.  I will not have to worry about government debt. We just need to get the rich to pay their fair share. We do not have a spending problem, too many people are trying to keep too much money from the government. Why shouldn't every American have access to basic necessities of life:  food, shelter, medicine, and cell phones? In fact, as a citizen of the world, it is selfish to think we should deny the wealth and benefits of our nation from those less fortunate.  Why are there artificial borders? Come one, come all, I say. Why should I have a better doctor or more food than a mother of eight in Mexico or Guatemala? It is not fair. We need a common sense approach. It is wrong for me to heat my house to 70 degrees F and use precious global resources when there are folks in the Congo and Panama who do not even have a furnace!

As a white guy, I have unfairly reaped the benefits of society. It is time I gave back. I have spent far too long focusing on my wants, it is time I received according to my needs. In truth, my ancestors received too much, since they were unfairly born white, so I should have to give back extra to society to make up for the past.

Going forward, I can see the benefits of a progressive society.  Not only will we raise the living standards all of humanity, but it will bring our community closer. I can finally really get to know my neighbors while we are standing in line to get our bread and toilet paper!

This is a view of  happy society in the old days of the workers paradise called the USSR. See how they get to spend quality time with their fellow citizens? Life was great until evil capitalists ruined things. F-ing Reagan. F-ing Bush. None of this suburban isolation in the glory days to come.'Community' is the word.We just need to be properly organized!

And look, here is a view of modern and progressive Cuba, where life is better in every way:

I am not sure why I am off to see my inadequate doctor this morning when I could be getting the best care in the world in Havana.

In fact,  I cannot wait until we start to build our own version of the "Berlin Wall" to keep out those pesky capitalists.

I can hear some of you itching to excoriate me in the comments.  You will argue that progressive ideas have failed in the past.  I used to think that way.  I cited example after example from history. But never before has the brightest, most charismatic Uberman of all been in charge. The Obama can lower the seas and cool the earth. Don't believe me?  Are we still having global warming? Exactly.  Point, game, set, match -- Righty MOFO.

Obama can make this work, if only the conservatives would abandon their greedy, white Euro-centric, bigoted, gun-clinging, gay-bashing, war-mongering, corporate-protecting, Bible-thumping, anti-women, tax-cutting, Hispanic-hating agenda and get with the program.

All hail Government efficiency

In the wee hours of the morning I woke to the sound of the wind howling and rain beating on the windows. There was also the wail of the tornado siren. Tornadoes are not common in January, but neither is a 60 degree day.

I shuffled out to the living room and turned on the television to see what was what. Storm Team/Scare Team was in action, keeping me breathlessly updated on the severe weather raging through my county. While the storm was bad, it appeared the possible tornadic activity was a bit south of my bunker. The front was moving at a race car clip and exited the immediate area after 20 minutes or so, leaving behind a steady rain and somewhat diminished winds.

I headed back to bed around 3:00 in the aye em, crisis averted.

It was then he county's Emergency Management System's heralded phone alert program finally contacted me to warn me of a tornado warning in my area. The warning came a full twenty-five minutes after the issuance of the tornado warning by the NWS and proximately 5 minutes after the warning expired. This is standard. The past few times we have been subjected to a tornado warning the call has come long after the danger has passed. I am starting to believe the county is paying hundreds of thousands of dollars for some guy sitting in his basement dialing  each resident one at a time.

According to most experts, the average tornado lasts less than ten minutes. Usually the NWS is only able to give a few minutes warning that conditions are ripe for a tornado.  This means the government warning system is less than useless.That's OK, it is just tax money.

Wilson was right

Let me see if I have this right. You are broke. It is two days until payday. Your credit cards are maxed out. The only cash you have is the jar of change you keep on your dresser. What do you do?  Invite the neighbors over for dinner! Offer to pay their doctor bills!

That is exactly what the folks in Washington are planning. Apparently the people who can't stop making laws have no concept of the definition of "Illegal".  Elected representatives from both parties are rushing to pass amnesty for tens of millions of illegals -- they are not "undocumented workers" -- they are criminals who broke federal law to enter the country.

The good news is the already strained welfare system will be burdened even more. Every one of those lawbreakers will get access to Obamacare! The administration is already pushing the food stamp program among the illegal community.

Remember when Obama promised us this:



Not only does ObamaCare force employers to cover abortions, but now we face the prospect of free healthcare for illegals.I guess he did lie. I suspect an apology will be forthcoming...

I am just a math-challenged history major, but even I can figure out that you cannot provide free health insurance to twenty or thirty million more people without adding to the cost.

Do it now

I read Obama is considering a sex change. He wants to be called Mindi.

That way he can declare his dictates Mindatory..

Decisions, decisions

There is a bar a few blocks from my house. As I drove by yesterday I noticed a large sign outside stating they are "taking apps Tues 2-3".

I might go down there. I have a few on my phone I don't use.

Compare and Contrast

That is me on the left

Here is 50 year old me to compare with 22 year old me a few posts down.

Potholes in Memory Lane

If only there was the subtle click, click, click, click of the 16mm projector in the background, I could imagine myself back in Mrs. Walters fourth grade class at Samuel P. Kyger Elementary School. This is exactly the kind of "educational movie" the teacher would have played while she hurried down to the Teacher's Lounge for a quick smoke.

I am celebrating this trip down memory lane by folding an entire fleet of paper airplanes. I chewed up a few spitwads, but there are no girls to throw them at.

The Seven Year Itch

I have been on the road almost constantly the past two weeks. I am racking up the hotel points and frequent flyer miles at a pace similar to what I did a decade ago.

Tuesday evening I was ensconced in my room at a Hampton Inn near Chicago. The window heater battled the minus12 wind chills outside to keep the room reasonably warm. I perched on an ugly couch in my room and searched through my archives to find the picture for the post below.  The wind rattled the windows and I could hear the faint hum of traffic on the interstate. I scrolled through day after day and week after week of my old writings.  It was weird; like seeing a reflection of yourself in a fun house mirror, the distortion of time skewing the image. Not only did my ass look fat, but things were far more interesting around here. The content was better written and far more entertaining.

It is not that I put more effort into the old blog back in 2005 or 2006, I think the problem is I have already told all of my good stories.  You traveled with me as I was the ugly American in Paris, you relived my boyhood tales. Now, you just get rambling rants on political matters and occasion glimpses of my boring life.

We are deep into this journey through the blog world.  I have been at it for seven years. In fact, it will be eight years in March. I feel you getting bored. You are not paying the same attention to me like you used to. You are cheating on me with other blogs aren't you? Oh, damn, my Mom said you were no good for me. I give you seven years and THIS IS HOW YOU TREAT ME?

Who is it?  I don't want to know. Don't look at me, I'm ugly. Perhaps if I bought some sexy undies, would that help? You know, a little lace, some knee high leather boots, a garter belt? I will watch porn with you, if that is what it takes. Do we need to go to strip clubs? I am willing to smoke a cigar.

We need counseling.

One of us might need it anyway...

All the cool kids are doing it

EOB posted some pictures from her school days.

This is what I looked like in those halcyon days of the early 1980's:

I originally posted this back in 2006. You probably saw it back then. This picture depresses me, I look so old now.  Perhaps it is because I am...This was my senior year in college.  You do the math.

Lets see your old young face  Let me know in thcomments and I will post a link.

edit:  Ed is playing along.
         The Fuzzy Curmudgeon looking sharp
        Take a look at Jean at her senior prom. 

Focus on Global Warming

Bring it on, I say.

It is fucking cold.

I bet Jean is glad she moved up from Florida!

Today's Earworm

There is unrest in the forest
There is trouble with the trees
For the maples want more sunlight
And the oaks ignore their pleas

The trouble with the maples
(And they're quite convinced they're right)
They say the oaks are just too lofty
And they grab up all the light
But the oaks can't help their feelings
If they like the way they're made
And they wonder why the maples
Can't be happy in their shade

There is trouble in the forest
And the creatures all have fled
As the maples scream 'Oppression!'
And the oaks just shake their heads

So the maples formed a union
And demanded equal rights
'The oaks are just too greedy
We will make them give us light'
Now there's no more oak oppression
For they passed a noble law
And the trees are all kept equal
By hatchet, axe and saw

Why we do not pick and choose our Rights and Freedoms

Some will argue that the framers could not imagine modern semi-automatic weapons and thus gun control is not a violation of the Second Amendment. They maintain a world of flintlocks and muskets is too far removed from modern society and firearms to apply today.

As such, can we also argue that free speech as guarnteed by the First Amendment does not apply to radio, television or internet speech?

Would it be true that Mormonism, or Scientology are not protected religions under the Freedom of Religion clause?  Neither sect had been founded yet. Is it then Ok to ban Kwanza? How can it be protected when the Founders had no notion?

A sign of the times

I was a little down, spending my Friday night at WalMart. Then I noticed the girl in front of me. Not only was she paying in food stamps, but she was so poor she had to wear her pajamas instead of pants.

Freedom is hard

For me one of the highlights of the Olympic Games is the opening ceremony. Not for the spectacle, the parade of nations, the singing and dancing or even the lighting of the torch.  I like to see the US team enter and steadfastly refuse to dip the flag to the potentate, king, or leader of the host country. You see, that single act of defiance is the root of my America.

One of the keys to understanding American freedom is there is no ruling class. There is no royalty. Every single American is afforded the same opportunity. There are no class barriers. There is no upper class. Every time I hear a politician invoking the "middle class" I cringe. Do you know why they always address the middle class?  Because your average politician knows we all think of our selves as equal. No one wants to proclaim themselves as "low class". We cannot define a middle class because we all are part of it. That is the genius that is America.

We can all make our own Horatio Alger success story. Is it easy? No. Is success in life guaranteed? Certainly not.  Is it most likely we will fail?  Yep. But that in no way means success is not possible. We are all just men and women created equal.

I have often stated it is a good thing I am not Catholic.  I would never, under any circumstances, kiss the Pope's ring. It is a good thing I never happened upon the Queen during one of my visits to England in years past. I would never bow before her. I will take a knee for no man. You see, no matter the titles, the royalty, the wealth, or the power, no person is better than I am. No One. That is why I have no interest in what prince is getting married and what princess is knocked up. I don't care any more than I would if a distant neighbor suddenly announced a baby was growing in her belly. That is nice.  Good for you. Why should anyone outside if their immediate family have any interest at all?

When  reporters claim that Obama's kids are more important than mine,  I call bullshit. You see, President Obama is no more important than I am. He is man, elected to a job. He may think of himself as royalty. Michelle may think it OK to jet the world at taxpayer's expense, but they are just ordinary Americans, no different than you and I. Their kids are not special. Oh, I am sure they are darling children. It is likely yours are too.

This is where we have come as a nation. There are people who think they are the new royalty, the ruling class. This, my friends, is the coming Civil War -- not soon, but it is coming. Believe it or not, the roots are the same as those which caused our break from Britain some 238 years ago.

We have developed a whole group of people who think they are a ruling class. There are a whole set of   people who think they are smarter than the ordinary citizen., These liberals believe you and I cannot succeed without their help. The average progressive is convinced you are too dumb to know what to eat, what health care you need, what you should drive, how warm you keep your house in the winter.

The liberals think they should tell you how much sugar you can eat, what kind of fat to use to fry your potatoes and regulate your salt intake. They will dictate what size soda to buy and regulate your ability to defend your home, your person, your property. Your typical progressive believes they know how much money you should have and how you should spend it. These self-designated elitists will tell you and I "You don't need..." fill in the blank. These busy bodies know it all and will tell you so.

Sadly, there is a large group of Americans who have fallen prey to this mindset. Life is easier when someone gives you food, a house, a cell phone. It is easy to listen when someone tells you the mistakes you made in life are not your fault, when actions have no consequences.  You should have to choose between baby formula or cigarettes. You should go without a cell phone if you need groceries. If you cannot afford a kid, don't have sex. It really is that simple.

Just because you were born in an inner city project housing complex does not mean you are consigned to that life.  You do not have to stay in that small town in western Nebraska. Get a job, get an education. Learn a skill. Opportunity is before you.  Take advantage. Yes, it is hard.

Life is hard.

Freedom is hard.

There are lots of people who can run faster, jump higher and are stronger than I am. There are folks with lots more money and power. There are better looking men. I meet smarter people every day. Not one of these folks is better than me. No person is more important. But we are all equal.

Tyranny

tyr·an·ny/ˈtɪr ə ni


noun, plural tyr·an·nies.

1. arbitrary or unrestrained exercise of power; despotic abuse of authority.

2. the government or rule of a tyrant or absolute ruler.

3. a state ruled by a tyrant or absolute ruler.

4. oppressive or unjustly severe government on the part of any ruler.

5. undue severity or harshness.

courtesy http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/tyranny

The phone rings...

MASTERVISACARD: Hello, is this Barry?

BARRY: How may I help you?

MVC: Barry, you have gone over your credit limit on your charge card, we need you to make an extra payment.

BARRY: That is crazy. I don't need to make another payment, you need to raise the limit.

MVC: No sir, you have spent more than you are allowed, you need to make another payment, or under the terms of our agreement we will increase your interest rate, destroy your credit rating and put you into default.

BARRY: Now you are just talking nonsense.  Spending has nothing to do with what I owe you. The only reason we are having this discussion is that you refuse to raise my credit limit. It is you that are making me look bad.

MVC: Sir, The credit limit is based on your ability to pay, your credit score, and risk factors...

BARRY: According to you I have a credit limit.  I have already spent more than that limit, so you clearly let me spend extra. That means you have de facto already raised my limit.

MVC: Barry you have to reign in your spending, increase your payments...

BARRY: Are you trying to hurt the economy? The whole issue is your ridiculous insistence I have a limit on what I can spend. Do you know who I am? I can lower the seas, cool the earth. My voice echoes when I speak.

How about this, I continue making the minimum monthly payment and you abandon the idea of a credit limit altogether? That way I will never be over the limit and you will not have to worry about it every month?  I will never be on your "over-the-limit" report and you won't have to call me.

MVC: Your credit limit...

BARRY:The problem is that you are not charging enough interest to the rich card holders. If you reduced their limit you would have more money to increase my so-called credit limit. Make the richest customers pay more and you will not see my credit as a risk.

MVC: Sir, I insist...

BARRY: What we need is a common sense approach to this problem. My kids and grandkids will likely make more money than I do, so I am sure they will make the payments in the future. Just to make sure we have a win-win, you agree to increase my credit limit to "infinity", and I promise I will not spend as much as I want to in ten years.

MVC:  I'm sorry sir, only a Republican is dumb enough to make that deal.

Today's Earworm

Dedicated to every girl in my Freshman Advanced English Class.

That kid is so weird.

Back in the dark ages, I was a snot-nosed kid in high school. I was small in mind, stature and self-confidence. I was perhaps a few inches over five foot tall. That winter of my freshman year I wrestled at 105 pounds.  I had no trouble making weight.

I hated my thick wavy hair. If I wore it too long in the early days of 1977 it looked like a tangled shrub. My hair would not part and feather like the cool kids*. Worse, just about every girl in school was taller than I was. Even if I bought the cool shoes with the big heels, I was still just an invisible shrimp floating at the bottom of a big high school ocean. Like almost every kid in the school I struggled to blend in and be noticed.

I was trying to toe that delicate line, get good grades without being classified as a nerd. I had no athletic prowess. If you did not play basketball and to a significantly lesser extent, football, you were not an athlete. There was no chance I could play either sport. I played in the band, mostly because my Mom was pretty adamant about it. I did not fight too much, it was an easy "A".

So it came to pass the Advanced English teacher started a unit on poetry. She explained that there was poetry all around us, from the old Burma Shave signs to advertising jingles to songs to traditional poems. She asked us to find a poem that really "spoke to us" and bring it in to class on Monday.

I was really a closet geek. I hid it as best I could. I spent my weekends and late nights reading history and westerns and anything else I could find. My walls were wallpapered in National Geographic maps (really). Books and book shelves covered almost every inch of floor space..  I had read an entire set of encyclopedias the summer before (really). I was a secret loser with a capital "L". I pretended to be anyone but that person at school.  I thought I was reasonably successful.

I had just finished a book of writings on the Revolutionary War (I know). Contained in those thin pages was a poem by Emerson called The Concord Hymn. It was perfect. Everyone would love the paean to the Minutemen! I carefully copied the first few stanzas for class.

Monday came. The class was atwitter to read their favorite poem, me included. The first girl read lyrics from Frampton Comes Alive. So did the second.  The next student, a boy, did too. A few read lyrics from Kiss songs. Kenny read something by the Beatles.

I tried to sink into my seat. How had I misjudged the situation so badly? I paged fanatically through my spiral notebook to see if the lyrics from a popular song had somehow been magically deposited overnight. Honestly, it never occurred to me to choose song lyrics. Apparently, I was the only person in class who missed the clues. When Mrs. Pletch finally called on me, I had no choice but to read my Nerd Poem. I only read the first stanza. It was enough. Even the teacher stared at me for a few seconds. She just managed a weak "Very nice, Joe" before the bell rang.

I would like to say that was my first and only brush with nerdism. Unfortunately, the drummer that keeps the beat as I march through life never learned to keep proper time.


* Every one of those smug f-ers is bald now. My hair is not as thick as it once was, but I still have most of it!

You can't have any

I fried up some chicken last night. I made some excellent gravy, though my hand was a tad heavy on the salt. Those things happen when you cook by the seat of your pants.  I usually don't use much salt in my cooking, but I guess I shook more than i thought.  I probably should not salt straight from the blue can next time. Mind you. it was certainly still good, you just did not need to add any salt at the table. Green beans I doctored with onion powder and red pepper flakes, mashed spuds, and biscuits rounded out the meal.

The wife has been whining for a couple of weeks for chocolate chip cookies. I tell her to have at it, she knows I don't like to bake. But since I am a prince of a human being I baked a batch of homemade chocolate cookies last night while she was doing laundry. I guess if I don't have to wash and fold my tighty whities or shirts it is worth it. It is not that I mind making cookies, it is just it tales so dang long. If the recipe just made a dozen or so, I could deal with that .  It is the boring nine minute stretches between batches (and yes we have two good cookie sheets) that drives me batty. I stood and read in-between cooling and reloading the cookie sheets.

And there you have it, a Monday post that is free of politics, starts of weak and then sort of fizzles.

Sunday

We met up with my dad for a birthday lunch yesterday. My older brother and his girlfriend and my wife joined my Mom and Dad. My kids and my brother's kid had previous plans.  My Pop will be 75 on Wednesday. He looks like he's about 60. Maybe. He could likely pass as my older brother these days.  I have not aged so well. Dad still plays golf almost every day in the summer. Only in the past summer or two has he started using a cart.

Wow, yesterday was a beautiful day. Who would have imagined temperatures in the 60's in January! Reality and normal winter temperatures are due back this afternoon.  I appreciated the little dose of global warming that swept through the past few days.

I am off to attempt some actual work -- the paying kind. I have a full week scheduled and I have to do some tedious paperwork. I also have to polish a large spreadsheet related to some of my visits last week and get ready for an early Monday meeting. Such is the penalty for spending half of December on vacation.

I hope you have a great Sunday.