THREE COWBOYS ARE SITTING AROUND THE CAMPFIRE OUT ON THE LONESOME PRAIRIE, EACH WITH THE BRAVADO FOR WHICH HE IS FAMOUS. A NIGHT OF TALL TALES APPEARS TO LIE AHEAD....
THE GUY FROM MONTANA SAYS, "I MUST BE THE STRONGEST, MEANEST, TOUGHEST COWBOY THERE IS. WHY, JUST THE OTHER DAY, A BULL GOT LOOSE IN THE CORRAL. IT HAD GORED SIX MEN BEFORE I WRESTLED IT TO THE GROUND BY THE HORNS WITH MY BARE HANDS AND CASTRATED THAT SUCKER WITH MY TEETH."
THE GUY FROM COLORADO COULDN'T STAND TO BE BESTED. "THAT'S NOTHING, I WAS WALKING DOWN THE TRAIL YESTERDAY AND A FIFTEEN FOOT DIAMONDBACK RATTLER SLID OUT FROM UNDER A ROCK AND MADE A MOVE FOR ME. I GRABBED THAT BASTARD WITH MY BARE HANDS, BIT ITS HEAD OFF AND SUCKED THE POISON DOWN IN ONE GULP. AND I'M STILL HERE TODAY."
THE COWBOY FROM TEXAS REMAINED SILENT, SLOWLY STIRRING THE CAMPFIRE COALS WITH HIS PECKER.
February 19, 2007
February 18, 2007
Who is in Charge?
Jack was going to be married to Jill, so his father sat him down for a
little chat... "Jack, let me tell you something. On my wedding night in
our honeymoon suite, I took off my pants and handed them to your mother,
and said 'Here try these on.'
So, she did and said 'These are too big. I can't wear them' So I replied
'Exactly. I wear the pants in this family and I always will.' Ever since
that night we have never had any problems." "Hmm" says Jack. He thinks
that might be a good thing to try. So on his honeymoon, Jack takes off
his pants and says to Jill "Here try these on." She does & says "These
are too large, they don't fit me." So Jack says, "Exactly, I wear the
pants in this family & I always will, and I don't want you to ever forget
that." Jill takes off her pants and hands them to Jack & says, "Here you
try on mine." He does and says, "I can't get into your pants." Jill
says, "Exactly. And if you don't change your smart ass attitude,
you never will."
little chat... "Jack, let me tell you something. On my wedding night in
our honeymoon suite, I took off my pants and handed them to your mother,
and said 'Here try these on.'
So, she did and said 'These are too big. I can't wear them' So I replied
'Exactly. I wear the pants in this family and I always will.' Ever since
that night we have never had any problems." "Hmm" says Jack. He thinks
that might be a good thing to try. So on his honeymoon, Jack takes off
his pants and says to Jill "Here try these on." She does & says "These
are too large, they don't fit me." So Jack says, "Exactly, I wear the
pants in this family & I always will, and I don't want you to ever forget
that." Jill takes off her pants and hands them to Jack & says, "Here you
try on mine." He does and says, "I can't get into your pants." Jill
says, "Exactly. And if you don't change your smart ass attitude,
you never will."
February 17, 2007
Saturday Funny
A little boy blows up his balloon and starts flicking it all around the
house with his finger. His mother tells him to stop it, as he's liable to
break something. The boy continues. "Johnny!"
Mom screams. "Knock it off. You're going to break something."
He stops and eventually Mom leaves for a short trip to the shopping
center.
Johnny starts up with the balloon again. He gives it one last flick and
it lands in the toilet
where he leaves it. Mom comes in and while putting away the grocery gets
the urge. A diarrhea
run. She can hardly make it to the toilet in time and SPLASH, out it
come s. Whe n she's finished,
she looks down and can't believe what she's seeing. She's not sure what
this big brown thing is
in the toilet! She calls her doctor. The doctor is baffled as she
describes the situation, but he
assures her he'll be over shortly to examine everything.
When he arrives she leads him to the bathroom and he gets down on his
knees and takes a
long hard look at the thing. Finally, he takes out his pen and sort of
touches it to see what it
might be and POP! The balloon explodes and poop goes flying everywhere.
On him, the walls,
etc.
"Doctor! Doctor! Are you all right?" she asks.
He says, "I've been in this business for over 30 years, and this is the
first time I've ever actually
seen a fart!"
house with his finger. His mother tells him to stop it, as he's liable to
break something. The boy continues. "Johnny!"
Mom screams. "Knock it off. You're going to break something."
He stops and eventually Mom leaves for a short trip to the shopping
center.
Johnny starts up with the balloon again. He gives it one last flick and
it lands in the toilet
where he leaves it. Mom comes in and while putting away the grocery gets
the urge. A diarrhea
run. She can hardly make it to the toilet in time and SPLASH, out it
come s. Whe n she's finished,
she looks down and can't believe what she's seeing. She's not sure what
this big brown thing is
in the toilet! She calls her doctor. The doctor is baffled as she
describes the situation, but he
assures her he'll be over shortly to examine everything.
When he arrives she leads him to the bathroom and he gets down on his
knees and takes a
long hard look at the thing. Finally, he takes out his pen and sort of
touches it to see what it
might be and POP! The balloon explodes and poop goes flying everywhere.
On him, the walls,
etc.
"Doctor! Doctor! Are you all right?" she asks.
He says, "I've been in this business for over 30 years, and this is the
first time I've ever actually
seen a fart!"
February 16, 2007
Here today, Gone tomorrow
Did you click back yesterday? Too late, now you get this graphic representation instead. I am not sure I don't look a little more handsome in this version. The girl looks better in real life than in either version.
Why did I listen to you?
"You are an asshole. You should have just stayed home." She poked her finger in my direction. "I cannot believe you are such a jerk".
"But, Honey," I said. "This was supposed to romantic. Besides, it was 28 years ago!""
"You wanted to ditch me at the restaurant!"
I pleaded to her to just read more, but no dice. I cleaned up what I thought were the bad parts, you know, where I admitted I only went out with the girl to get her best friend. Last time I listen to you guys. 'Your wife will love this' you wrote. Hah.
Check back later for a special post.
"But, Honey," I said. "This was supposed to romantic. Besides, it was 28 years ago!""
"You wanted to ditch me at the restaurant!"
I pleaded to her to just read more, but no dice. I cleaned up what I thought were the bad parts, you know, where I admitted I only went out with the girl to get her best friend. Last time I listen to you guys. 'Your wife will love this' you wrote. Hah.
Check back later for a special post.
February 14, 2007
Questions and comments
Mars is warming. Did man cause that too, or could global warming be caused by the sun?
How gullible do we have to be to accept the argument that global warming causes the winters to be worse?
It took me 6-1/2 hours to drive from Chicago to Indy yesterday. Stupid? Probably, but I did not see the roads getting better today with a whole night of blowing and drifting to come.
The worst stretch of highway was in Marion County (Indianapolis) where it did not appear the roads had been plowed at all.
I walked into the house last night to smell of fresh cookies (oatmeal) baking. Nothing makes you feel home more than that smell.
It may be a pain, but there is little in nature more beautiful than fresh snow.
Am I the only one who thinks the NBA has become unwatchable? That same boring brand of basketball is now creeping into the NCAA.
I have had near-constant muscle spasms near my right shoulder blade for more than three weeks. Should I be worried about this? Do I need to see a doctor?
I have not been to a doctor for nearly 20 years other than for insurance and new hire physicals. I have not been sick. The aches in my right knee, right shoulder, right ankle, and right hand (a hard to discern pattern) may force me to go soon. Pain is a funny thing. How much is too much? Is what I feel mild compared to yours? Am I extraordinarily tough? How much should one feel before going to a medical specialist? Some nights I wake from the pain in my shoulder and knee. Is this something more than hereditary arthritis? Am I just a big wimp? So many questions...
Was anyone fooled toward the end of the previous story? Did you think I dumped the girl when I went to college? What enticements will you give me to post the picture? Would you be disappointed if it were all made up?
I ate a bunch of dried apricots. How many, you ask? Let us just say about 3 shitloads. Did you ever take a dump so foul you could smell it in the opposite end of the house -- twenty minutes later? Me neither.
How gullible do we have to be to accept the argument that global warming causes the winters to be worse?
It took me 6-1/2 hours to drive from Chicago to Indy yesterday. Stupid? Probably, but I did not see the roads getting better today with a whole night of blowing and drifting to come.
The worst stretch of highway was in Marion County (Indianapolis) where it did not appear the roads had been plowed at all.
I walked into the house last night to smell of fresh cookies (oatmeal) baking. Nothing makes you feel home more than that smell.
It may be a pain, but there is little in nature more beautiful than fresh snow.
Am I the only one who thinks the NBA has become unwatchable? That same boring brand of basketball is now creeping into the NCAA.
I have had near-constant muscle spasms near my right shoulder blade for more than three weeks. Should I be worried about this? Do I need to see a doctor?
I have not been to a doctor for nearly 20 years other than for insurance and new hire physicals. I have not been sick. The aches in my right knee, right shoulder, right ankle, and right hand (a hard to discern pattern) may force me to go soon. Pain is a funny thing. How much is too much? Is what I feel mild compared to yours? Am I extraordinarily tough? How much should one feel before going to a medical specialist? Some nights I wake from the pain in my shoulder and knee. Is this something more than hereditary arthritis? Am I just a big wimp? So many questions...
Was anyone fooled toward the end of the previous story? Did you think I dumped the girl when I went to college? What enticements will you give me to post the picture? Would you be disappointed if it were all made up?
I ate a bunch of dried apricots. How many, you ask? Let us just say about 3 shitloads. Did you ever take a dump so foul you could smell it in the opposite end of the house -- twenty minutes later? Me neither.
February 12, 2007
A love story
Thursday, the second wrestling meet of the week. I took a beating, yet still won. You remember the old joke about "does your face hurt?", yes it did. On the bus ride home I had time to think. In the dark it all became a stark reality. I just had to get out of going to that dance.
How could I break it to her? She bought a dress, I had ordered the corsage. Dinner reservations were made. I did not even know this girl. I could say I was sick. Think, man, think. If I cancelled I would be a heel, and Teresa would be pissed. That would be bad. She would not like me to cancel a date with her best friend.
Friday, I woke, no closer to a resolution. I had a crush on this girl, Teresa. Her best friend asked me out to a Sadie Hawkins dance. It was a big deal, the biggest dance of the year except for the prom: dresses were bought, suits were worn. I said yes, thinking the girl would talk about how wonderful I was and Teresa would see me as something besides a friend. Sixteen year old boys do not always think logically, especially when it comes to women. Yes, my motive was wrong. I did not care.
Wrestling practice was supposed to be short, most of the team had a date for the dance. I had two black eyes, the result of high cheekbones and sharp elbows. We started wrestling around and my partner Jeff got a bloody nose. He got them all the time and of course, I laughed at him. This really made him mad and he was determined to give me a bloody nose as well. The only problem is I had never had one. EVER. He proceeded to give me several hard cross-faces. He hit me with an elbow, he smashed me with his skull. No bloody nose. I took a quick shower before heading home to get ready for the dance. Shit, my left eye was swollen shut, my right eye and cheek were hues of blue, green and purple. I bet her parents would be real impressed.
I circled the block twice mustering the courage to knock on the door. Her nephew answered. Fortunately she was ready. A few quick pictures and we were on our way. No one asked how I came to look like a prizefighter.
On the way to the restaurant we did not speak much. I gave this girl a quick glance. I barely knew her. Only after she asked me to the dance did I discover her last name. Her short hair was dark, almost black. It fell in soft waves framing her face. Her nose was straight and narrow, freckles covered her cheeks. Her eyes lit up each time she smiled. They were hazel.
We went to the local Moose Lodge for dinner (the oldest in the world), there was not much else in the little town where we lived. I had pork chops. Neither of us spoke much during dinner. Aborted conversations ended with one word answers. "Is your steak OK?"
"Yes, It is fine," she muttered. Oh God, what have I gotten myself into? OK, dinner, go to the dance stay an hour or so and make an excuse to take her home. Maybe I can claim I have wrestling practice in the morning. I noticed her hands. The fingers were long and smooth, a small hint of white fingernail polish graced the long nails. A few freckles dotted her arms. I tried hard not to stare at her chest above the white sleeveless dress. The swell of her breasts was enticing. She was kind of pretty. When she stopped in the ladies room after dinner I briefly thought about just leaving. She was in there a long time, and maybe she was hoping I would.
I still remember clearly the events before the dance. What I ate. The back of my neck burning with embarrassment. The feeling everyone in the dining room knew I was a lousy date, a failure, a hoodlum. The rest of the evening remains a blur. We found our table at the dance. We were sitting with her friends. I knew some of the other guys. The lights were low and suddenly this strange girl looked lovely. The band was playing and we sat and tried again to talk. Finally a slow dance was played and I summoned the courage to escort her to the floor. She fit perfectly in my arms. the top of her hair came to my eyes. Her waist was the perfect size for my skinny arms. She smelled faintly of flowers. After the song we walked to the punchbowl holding hands.
As we sat back at the table I moved my chair closer, we began to find things to talk about. My hand was on her thigh. I forgot my mother's admonition to not try to be funny. Mom told me that often others just did not get my dry sarcastic sense of humor. The girl had the most melodious laugh. We danced some fast songs. She had rhythm, I could only jerk around like a spastic monkey with a lobotomy. I was having a good time in spite of my efforts not to.
Another slow song began and we moved to the floor hand in hand. I put my arms around her, her hands locked around my neck. I looked into her eyes and saw my soul. She leaned to me, and I to her. Our lips met and electricity shot through my body. My hair stood on end. As our tongues met, I never felt like this before! Wow, I said as our lips parted. I was out of breath. I was not sure if we had kept dancing or not. The room spun. I kissed her again.
The night lasted forever and ended too soon. As we made out in the front seat of my parent's Monte Carlo, hurried plans were made for another date the next day. I drove home with her taste on my lips. Pizza, a movie and more electric kisses followed on Saturday.
Monday came and Teresa did not look quite so hot. She asked me how the dance went, a knowing leer on her face. I know now girls talk about that stuff*. Teresa told me she just knew the girl and I would get along. She suggested a double date the next week. Why not?
I found an old picture taken at that dance back in December of 1978. I see a skinny boy, his left eye shut, his right black. I see a couple of kids, unsure of life, of themselves. The pretty girl is standing next to that boy. I know the picture was taken as we arrived, before the slow dances, before the kiss. I know this because in the picture I am just a shy boy, smirking at the world.
I dated the girl for several years. I left for college. I got engaged. I got married.
The girl is now my wife. Her kisses are still electric.
* My buddy Jeff just asked me if I got 'any'.
How could I break it to her? She bought a dress, I had ordered the corsage. Dinner reservations were made. I did not even know this girl. I could say I was sick. Think, man, think. If I cancelled I would be a heel, and Teresa would be pissed. That would be bad. She would not like me to cancel a date with her best friend.
Friday, I woke, no closer to a resolution. I had a crush on this girl, Teresa. Her best friend asked me out to a Sadie Hawkins dance. It was a big deal, the biggest dance of the year except for the prom: dresses were bought, suits were worn. I said yes, thinking the girl would talk about how wonderful I was and Teresa would see me as something besides a friend. Sixteen year old boys do not always think logically, especially when it comes to women. Yes, my motive was wrong. I did not care.
Wrestling practice was supposed to be short, most of the team had a date for the dance. I had two black eyes, the result of high cheekbones and sharp elbows. We started wrestling around and my partner Jeff got a bloody nose. He got them all the time and of course, I laughed at him. This really made him mad and he was determined to give me a bloody nose as well. The only problem is I had never had one. EVER. He proceeded to give me several hard cross-faces. He hit me with an elbow, he smashed me with his skull. No bloody nose. I took a quick shower before heading home to get ready for the dance. Shit, my left eye was swollen shut, my right eye and cheek were hues of blue, green and purple. I bet her parents would be real impressed.
I circled the block twice mustering the courage to knock on the door. Her nephew answered. Fortunately she was ready. A few quick pictures and we were on our way. No one asked how I came to look like a prizefighter.
On the way to the restaurant we did not speak much. I gave this girl a quick glance. I barely knew her. Only after she asked me to the dance did I discover her last name. Her short hair was dark, almost black. It fell in soft waves framing her face. Her nose was straight and narrow, freckles covered her cheeks. Her eyes lit up each time she smiled. They were hazel.
We went to the local Moose Lodge for dinner (the oldest in the world), there was not much else in the little town where we lived. I had pork chops. Neither of us spoke much during dinner. Aborted conversations ended with one word answers. "Is your steak OK?"
"Yes, It is fine," she muttered. Oh God, what have I gotten myself into? OK, dinner, go to the dance stay an hour or so and make an excuse to take her home. Maybe I can claim I have wrestling practice in the morning. I noticed her hands. The fingers were long and smooth, a small hint of white fingernail polish graced the long nails. A few freckles dotted her arms. I tried hard not to stare at her chest above the white sleeveless dress. The swell of her breasts was enticing. She was kind of pretty. When she stopped in the ladies room after dinner I briefly thought about just leaving. She was in there a long time, and maybe she was hoping I would.
I still remember clearly the events before the dance. What I ate. The back of my neck burning with embarrassment. The feeling everyone in the dining room knew I was a lousy date, a failure, a hoodlum. The rest of the evening remains a blur. We found our table at the dance. We were sitting with her friends. I knew some of the other guys. The lights were low and suddenly this strange girl looked lovely. The band was playing and we sat and tried again to talk. Finally a slow dance was played and I summoned the courage to escort her to the floor. She fit perfectly in my arms. the top of her hair came to my eyes. Her waist was the perfect size for my skinny arms. She smelled faintly of flowers. After the song we walked to the punchbowl holding hands.
As we sat back at the table I moved my chair closer, we began to find things to talk about. My hand was on her thigh. I forgot my mother's admonition to not try to be funny. Mom told me that often others just did not get my dry sarcastic sense of humor. The girl had the most melodious laugh. We danced some fast songs. She had rhythm, I could only jerk around like a spastic monkey with a lobotomy. I was having a good time in spite of my efforts not to.
Another slow song began and we moved to the floor hand in hand. I put my arms around her, her hands locked around my neck. I looked into her eyes and saw my soul. She leaned to me, and I to her. Our lips met and electricity shot through my body. My hair stood on end. As our tongues met, I never felt like this before! Wow, I said as our lips parted. I was out of breath. I was not sure if we had kept dancing or not. The room spun. I kissed her again.
The night lasted forever and ended too soon. As we made out in the front seat of my parent's Monte Carlo, hurried plans were made for another date the next day. I drove home with her taste on my lips. Pizza, a movie and more electric kisses followed on Saturday.
Monday came and Teresa did not look quite so hot. She asked me how the dance went, a knowing leer on her face. I know now girls talk about that stuff*. Teresa told me she just knew the girl and I would get along. She suggested a double date the next week. Why not?
I found an old picture taken at that dance back in December of 1978. I see a skinny boy, his left eye shut, his right black. I see a couple of kids, unsure of life, of themselves. The pretty girl is standing next to that boy. I know the picture was taken as we arrived, before the slow dances, before the kiss. I know this because in the picture I am just a shy boy, smirking at the world.
I dated the girl for several years. I left for college. I got engaged. I got married.
The girl is now my wife. Her kisses are still electric.
* My buddy Jeff just asked me if I got 'any'.
Aahhhoooogggaaaaa, Panic, Panic
This is not a drill. Panic NOW! Go to the store buy all of the milk, bread, and eggs you can. It is going to snow and you must make french toast.
The storm team/panic team went into full panic mode yesterday about a HUGE SNOW OF HISTORIC PROPORTIONS that will arrive tonight and mostly on Tuesday. Every channel is screaming the warnings. We will get 3-6 inches (!!!) of snow, places further north will get 8-12 inches of snow.
Remember the rule of thumb, the more panic the snow team / panic team displays, the more you need to follow the 50% rule:
Take the lesser amount promised by the weather quack and multiply by .50. That is how much snow you will get.
Even if I miss it on this one, I bet I am more accurate than the weather guy most times.
Why are you reading this? GET TO THE STORE, BUY STUFF YOU DO NOT NEED! WHO KNOWS, YOU MIGHT BE SNOWED IN FOR 8 HOURS!
PANIC NOW
The storm team/panic team went into full panic mode yesterday about a HUGE SNOW OF HISTORIC PROPORTIONS that will arrive tonight and mostly on Tuesday. Every channel is screaming the warnings. We will get 3-6 inches (!!!) of snow, places further north will get 8-12 inches of snow.
Remember the rule of thumb, the more panic the snow team / panic team displays, the more you need to follow the 50% rule:
Take the lesser amount promised by the weather quack and multiply by .50. That is how much snow you will get.
Even if I miss it on this one, I bet I am more accurate than the weather guy most times.
Why are you reading this? GET TO THE STORE, BUY STUFF YOU DO NOT NEED! WHO KNOWS, YOU MIGHT BE SNOWED IN FOR 8 HOURS!
PANIC NOW
February 11, 2007
Just a thought
You know it is a screwed up world when you go outside, sans gloves, coat unzipped. You do not get cold because it is a balmy twelve degrees. I guess it is what you get used to. I remember once seeing a picture of one of the expeditions to the South Pole and the guys were in snow up to their waist. The were shoveling a path in their shirt sleeves. A couple of the men were working without a shirt! The human body is an amazing study in endurance and adaptability. Few animals or machines can outmatch the human body for its adaptive properties. From subzero to over one hundred degrees we keep on ticking. We process information, learn, adapt, work. There are machines that process information faster and can calculate problems far above our brain. There are bigger stronger faster animals. We build those machines, we are the top predator on the planet. Some machines and animals can do some tasks better than the human. There is not a machine or animal that can do all we do. Tell me again there is no God.
I saw several robins on Friday. It was two degrees outside. How weird is that?
I saw several robins on Friday. It was two degrees outside. How weird is that?
Blame it on Global Warming
Sorry for the lack of posts. Life gets in the way of my hobbies sometimes.
I am car shopping to replace my daughters worn-out Nissan. It is to the point the needed repairs outweigh the value of the car. I despise car shopping. It is amazing that the process is so painful to someone who negotiates for a living. I hate to go in unprepared so the research is time consuming.
More travel this week, so I am not sure the frequency of quality posts will get better. Off to Chicago later this week. I would prefer Tampa.
I am car shopping to replace my daughters worn-out Nissan. It is to the point the needed repairs outweigh the value of the car. I despise car shopping. It is amazing that the process is so painful to someone who negotiates for a living. I hate to go in unprepared so the research is time consuming.
More travel this week, so I am not sure the frequency of quality posts will get better. Off to Chicago later this week. I would prefer Tampa.
February 9, 2007
Art Linkletter, where are you...
My wife is an teacher's aide in a kindergarten class. Each week the kids are challenged to bring in a show and tell that goes with that week's featured letter. For instance a kid might bring in an apple for "A" or a stuffed lion for "L".
This week the letter was "Q". Some of the kids brought in playing cards with a queen. Some brought in a quarter. One little girl was stumped. She rushed in to class this morning all excited.
"Mrs. HB", she cried, "I found something. No one else thought of this for show and tell." She reached into her sack and pulled out a box of Cheese Nips. "Look", she said. "Qwackers" in complete seriousness.
My wife said she had to leaver the room she was laughing so hard.
February 8, 2007
Home Alone
I left my hotel in beautiful Ybor City at 5:45am this morning. I am now back home. I had to scrape a half foot of snow from my car. The temperature was 3 degrees in Indy when we landed. It is now a balmy five.
The boys had done a fair job cleaning the drive, I was surprised. I hope they did not make their mom help, else there will be some ass kicking this evening.
Two days at a trade show, now I get to go to the BMV this afternoon. I am not sure why I did not schedule a root canal, just to complete the week's trifecta of pain.
I am glad to be home, but I already miss the warm breezes of the Sunshine State.
I did not get an opportunity to meet any of my blog buds this trip, I hope to be back for vacation in March / April and I will try to hook up then!
The boys had done a fair job cleaning the drive, I was surprised. I hope they did not make their mom help, else there will be some ass kicking this evening.
Two days at a trade show, now I get to go to the BMV this afternoon. I am not sure why I did not schedule a root canal, just to complete the week's trifecta of pain.
I am glad to be home, but I already miss the warm breezes of the Sunshine State.
I did not get an opportunity to meet any of my blog buds this trip, I hope to be back for vacation in March / April and I will try to hook up then!
February 6, 2007
J'arrive
I have arrived a my super secret location, all safe and sound. It is pushing seventy degrees. It is snowing back home.
Work this afternoon and tonight, rinse and repeat tomorrow. It looks like I will get but a few hours to enjoy the sunshine. I fully appreciate that is more than most of you.
Work this afternoon and tonight, rinse and repeat tomorrow. It looks like I will get but a few hours to enjoy the sunshine. I fully appreciate that is more than most of you.
February 5, 2007
Colts Win!
Grossman is taking a lot of heat for the Bears Loss. One pundit even claimed Grossman should have been the MVP for the winning team. That is brutal. Rex had a bad game, but you have to put a great deal of the blame for the Colts victory on the Bears Defense. They were in no shape or form the '85 Bears. The Colts out hustled, out muscled, and physically handled the bears on both sides of the ball. Just like every other vaunted defense that has played the Colts this year, the Bears were unable to stop the Colts offense.
I am a happy boy today.
Like a lot of the country, it is brutally cold here in the Hoosier heartland today. More of the same is expected all week. I will be in southern climes for business, maybe I will post, maybe not. Your patience is appreciated, read some of the fine folks over there on the right for some good entertainment. In any case the best course of action is click early and often, just in case I make a post. I know you would not want to see what pearls of wisdom I have sent your way via the blogsphere.
I am a happy boy today.
Like a lot of the country, it is brutally cold here in the Hoosier heartland today. More of the same is expected all week. I will be in southern climes for business, maybe I will post, maybe not. Your patience is appreciated, read some of the fine folks over there on the right for some good entertainment. In any case the best course of action is click early and often, just in case I make a post. I know you would not want to see what pearls of wisdom I have sent your way via the blogsphere.
February 3, 2007
February 2, 2007
Patrick O'Brian
I am on my second reading (some books third) of the complete Aubry/Maturin novels (Master and Commander) by POB. These novels constitute some of the greatest fiction ever written, in my opinion. I give them a hearty recommendation. Give them a chance, it takes some time to get into the rhythm of the language.
The books exhibit some of the finest character studies ever, and are unequalled in action. There is also a very subtle humor in these books. Here is a brief passage from book seven, The Surgeon's Mate. Captain Aubry and his small sloop have just put into Gothenborg, Sweden for supplies. The Commandant of the fortress provides powder and "a present of smoked reindeer tongues and a barrel of salted honey-buzzards." These he presented to Doctor Maturin. The doctor is startled by the gift of buzzards. he asks the Commandant:
'Did you shoot them , sir?"
'Oh, no,' said the Commandant, quite shocked. "You must never shoot a honey-buzzard: it ruins the flavour. No: we strangle them.'
'Do they not resent this?'
'I think not,' said the Commandant...
The Commandant tells how there are numerous migratory birds on his property and they knock them out of the trees and then wring their necks. Says the Commandant:
'It has been done forever;all the best salted buzzards come from Falsterbo;and no doubt they are used to it.'
'Do eagles also appear sir?' asked Stephen [the doctor].
'Oh, yes, oh indeed!'
'Do you salt them too?'
'Oh, no" said the Commandant, amused. 'A salted eagle would be a very whimsical dish. They are always pickled, you know; otherwise they would eat intolerably dry.'
Do not let the movie fool you (although I enjoyed the movie), this is amusing, exciting and wonderful literature. You would do yourself a favor if you read these books. What else do you have to do this weekend?
* The Surgeon's Mate Norton paperback version 1992 pages 201/202
Correction
Shouldn't the half-time entertainment at the Superbowl actually be referred to as "The artist formerly known as the artist formerly known as Prince"?
You did not think I actually made a mistake did you?
You did not think I actually made a mistake did you?
February 1, 2007
We are just overreacting
Marcus, over at On the Patio, links to an article that leaves me floored, speechless and sad. Read it here.
Those of you who think the survival of our country into perpetuity is a sure thing need to understand these people are our neighbors, our teachers and usually our reporters. When did patriotism become a bad thing? Of course, the author of the article would say I am overreacting to his words.
I would welcome intelligent conversation in the comments.
"It also raises several questions. Has the American reaction to the attacks in fact been a massive overreaction? Is the widespread belief that 9/11 plunged us into one of the deadliest struggles of our time simply wrong? If we did overreact, why did we do so? Does history provide any insight?"
Those of you who think the survival of our country into perpetuity is a sure thing need to understand these people are our neighbors, our teachers and usually our reporters. When did patriotism become a bad thing? Of course, the author of the article would say I am overreacting to his words.
I would welcome intelligent conversation in the comments.
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