Toad you so

I went out to mow those portions of my yard that are not still swamp. As I poured gas from the can something jumped next to my foot. I had to be careful not to spill the gold gas, so I could not check out what kind of critter was trying to attack me until after the tank was full.

I knew it wasn't a snake, it looked more like a grasshopper, but I know those only appear around my dandelion patch in the fall. I soon spied my petite aggressor.  It was a toad about an inch or two across.

I picked it up and gave it a lick.  Not only did it not give me the Timothy Leary Buzz I needed to get through the yard work, it tasted like old moldy leaves.  Plus, it pissed in my hand. I threw it clear. Just to keep from running over it with the mower -- I don't want any smelly hippie environmentals out here giving me trouble.

I got the yard done and decided that since I missed out on Earth Day due to incessant rain, I would get out the Roundup and do some killing. I got me some weeds and maybe a few flowers that jumped in the way. I sprayed some driveway grass right next to the bare spot in the yard. How does grass grow in concrete but not dirt a few feet away?

As I sprayed the last weed bed I accidentally might have got some overspray on a little toad. I really did not mean to -- he was hiding under some green weed-looking stuff. I am pretty sure it was the same toad that previously failed in every way to give me the psychedelic trip around the bay. I don't think I would lick the Roundup toad now.

It is supposed to hit the mid seventies today with SUN! maybe I will have a stogie this afternoon.

Enjoy your Saturday.

A personal Catch-22*

I have to test my blood sugar twice a day. This involves poking a hole in one of my fingers. I then put the blood drop on a special one-time use strip I put into a meter that measures my blood sugar levels. For some reason no one can explain, these test strips are a controlled substance. I need a prescription to get them. I suppose it is to thwart those addicts who cannot get enough blood sugar testing.

The test strips I use come prepackaged from the manufacturer in containers of 50. This number is important.  Pay attention, this will be on the test.

In past months the friendly druggist has provided 100 strips (2 packages) when I refilled the prescription. I picked up my strips last night. I needed them this morning, as I was out. When I pulled out the package the pharmacist had only given me 50 (one package). That is enough for 25 days.

My insurance will only pay for a refill once a month. The fifty count refill will not last 30 days. I am instantly pissed. You see, CVS had screwed me over similarly just a month or two ago. Remember this post?

This morning I found myself heading back to the Pharmacy. That does not sound right.  It was no coincidence -- went there with a purpose and ready for a fight.

I explained the problem.  The clerk talked to the pharmacist. He handed me another package, but explained the issue. The druggist said the insurance company has complained that I was getting 100 strips. They view that as 50 days worth and will only pay for 30 days supply. If I get 50 strips it only lasts 25 days. The insurance will only pay for refills every thirty days. He is not sure what to do. I am not sure what to do. He said he argued with the insurance company last time. He agreed to give me another 50 this time and we would see what happens. He said if the insurance company refuses to pay, I will only be able to get fifty strips in the future.

I can hardly wait until the same people who bring us the IRS, Social Security and the Passport office get to control our healthcare. This kind of snafu will  seem minor.

* one of the crappiest books ever written.

A quick time out from our usual nonsense

What a mess in the South.  My heart and my prayers go out to those poor people ravaged by storms, wind and tornadoes.

Mother Nature can be a real bitch.

Today's Funny

"Energy prices will neccessarily skyrocket" -- B. Obama

I went to fill up the car yesterday. The pump price was $4.09.  Some stations in the area were at $4.17. When you are forking over sixty bucks to fill up your car there is a problem. While I was pumping, all I could think about was The Obama EPA refusing a drilling permit to Shell to drill off the coast of Alaska a few days ago source.

The reasons included possible harm to a village 70 miles away and the exhaust from the boat that will service the platform.

The EPA’s appeals board ruled that Shell had not taken into consideration emissions from an ice-breaking vessel when calculating overall greenhouse gas emissions from the project. Environmental groups were thrilled by the ruling.

So basically the reason was -- No, because we said so.

At stake is an estimated 27 billion barrels of oil. That’s how much the U. S. Geological Survey believes is in the U.S. portion of the Arctic Ocean. For perspective, that represents two and a half times more oil than has flowed down the Trans Alaska pipeline throughout its 30-year history.

The United States of America remains the only country in the world that refuses to use its own natural resources. The primary reason for our economic success for the past four hundred years lies completely with the abundance of resources in our varied lands.

The Energy Department was created specifically to wean us from foreign oil.  Now we are more dependent than ever. Five years ago the Democrats refused to open offshore oil fields to drilling. They banned drilling in the shale fields of the west. They explained that it would take at least five years for those resources to have an effect. The Democrats pushed taxpayer moneys into fanciful, not yet developed "green energy". Today we find ourselves slowly strangling in national debt and choking on high gas prices. I am not a big fan of 'what if', but what if we HAD started drilling our own oil five years ago? Do you think gas would be at current price levels?

Gas prices were in the $1.80 range when Obama took office. Now prices are at $4.00 around the nation. Is this the hope and change you were looking for?

Communication Breakdown

I was watching the news last night with the wife. The talking head kept bragging how they were going to be live at Kate and William's wedding.

Me: Who are Kate and William?
Her: What do you mean?
She gave me that look.  You married guys know it well -- is he being a smartass or is he that ignorant?
Me: No really who are they? Kate Winslett? She is the only Kate I can think of.
Her: The Prince, he is getting married Friday.
Me: What Prince?
Her: Prince William. he is getting married. It has been all over the news for months. Kate and William.
Me:
Her: Prince William -- From England. Charles and Diana's son.  He is getting married.
Me: Diana? He is just a kid. But more importantly why would anyone care?
Her: He is like 30. Every one cares, he is the Prince.
Me: Not prince of me. He is just a leach on the British taxpayers. Why would anyone in the US care?  We threw those bums out!
Her: Don't start.
Me: Really, why would anyone care?  It is just two people getting married.  It happens a million times every day. Why would the US stations, the Today Show, cover it?  It has nothing to do with America? Who cares what some fake royalty does?
Her: I care.
Me: Why would you care?  They are nothing special. William, Charles, the queen...they are just members of the lucky sperm club. They have done nothing but be lucky in choosing their parents and grandparents.
Her:
Me: Who put them in charge? What have they done? It is a good thing I did not see the queen when i was in London.  You can bet your ass I would not have bowed.  I bow for no..
Her: Just stop.
Me: ...one. Like hell I would bow down for anyone. My forefathers fought to get rid of those people...
Her: I want to hear the weather.
Me: ...and I could not care less about any wedding...They are not better than me.
Her: I want to hear the weather.
Me: Kate and William. Hmmmph.
Her: Just quit it.
Me: D'ju see what gas prices were today?
Exasperated Her: I am going to bed.
Mumbling Me: Fucking Kate and William.

Ok, back to normal

I am done whining. Things will be better now.  I need to get my 'poor me' out every now and then.

I bet this what you all felt like doing to me after the last few posts:


The next time I start with the "I have to get outta here, no more blogging" -- Just slap me.

This post is work safe -- damnit

Happy Monday to you. If you read a few posts ago you would know I was off on Friday. That means I am way behind this morning. but I will still take time from my busy day to write a few words for your entertainment.

Traffic at this old piece o'crap blog is way down. I assume that is a function of content. You are still dropping by, but some of your friends and neighbors have abandoned me. Visits are down by 30%, and on some days even 50%. I could blame it on content, but I prefer to think it is someone else's issue.

Probably not. The truth is I think blogging really died with Rob Smith and Bane. Sadly, I suspect many of you were not into this strange hobby when those guys (among others) set the standard for blogging excellence. It has just taken a few years for some of us Johnny-come-latelys to understand. The Twitter, The Facebook -- that is where it is at. But you will not find me there. I will not say never, but if I could wean myself from this habit I will not take up another. Going from blogging to Facebook or Twitter would be like givng up beer to drink whiskey and tequila.

Every day I tell myself this will be my last post, but like the those lonely cowboys on Brokeback Mountain -- I cain't quit you. Mostly 'cause I am incapable of composing that final memorable post.  The one you will all say -- "Dude, that is how you go out in style".

"Dude". Does anyone say that anymore? Has that term gone to the land of unused colloquialism? To the boneyard of slang? No one refers to their currency as "bread", only the oldest of hippies find amazing things "far out". Has "dude" been relegated to old guys and the unhippist among us? When I ask my seventeen-year-old these questions he just rolls his eyes.

This post is late getting up, In between words and sentences and paragraphs I have made a few phone calls, answered some emails and poured another cup of coffee. I have also installed some new programs on the boy's laptop and put in a load of laundry.

I may not be entertaining anymore (if I ever was), but I can still multitask with the best.

Do not waste the thirty seconds it will take to read this post

It is Saturday, but you knew that.

It is supposed to rain, but that is nothing new.

I could whine about a lot of stuff, but you do not want to hear it, and I don't really feel like complaining.

Politics -- bleh.

I think I will go search the video cabinet for a nice cowboy movie.

It is becoming increasingly clear I have little to offer that is of interest to anyone, even myself, at this blog.

Friday Covers

This is one of the prettiest songs.

Stevie ain't too bad either.

Here is a nice cover. The comments are hilarious -- one says that Fleetwood Mac's cover sucks! Kids today...


Here is the Dixie Chicks cover:

Their politics aside, those girls are talented.

Oh, and Glee also took a run at it:

A rambling post filled with details about super secret CIA operations

I am off work to commemorate Good Friday. I am not sure what I am going to do, it looks like another rainy day is in the forecast. I will take some time to reflect upon the day. I will offer some prayers of thanks.

My laptop died earlier this week.  At random the "blue screen of death" flashed. I did not have time to read all it said but I am pretty sure when the words "initiating memory dump" appear, nothing good is going on inside the plastic shell. I sent it off to the tech guru at the home office. He said he had to replace the hard drive. He has shipped it overnight back to me and I should get it sometime today.

I am ready, I have been using the clunky old HP desktop that resides in our living room since Monday morning. It is old and slooowww. This computer has served us faithfully for at least 7 or 8 years now. Nope, I went and looked.  We got this baby in 2002 It was fast as an Indy car and State of the art at that time. Now I think the wife's iPhone has more power. It has suffered through several major virus attacks. "Hey Daddy, this warning has been flashing on the screen for a couple of weeks now.  I just keep closing it.  Is that OK?".

We have no big plans for the weekend.  We are going to my Mom and Dad's for Easter dinner on Sunday. My brother and his son should be there.  My daughter and son-in-law will come, but it looks like both my boys will have to work. Such is the hazards of working in the restaurant business on a holiday.

The youngest just went to reserve his tux for the prom. I think he has mixed emotions about going.  He sees most of the preparations as a pain. On the other hand, when you ask him if he is looking forward to going he says "Yes, my date is hot". While only a junior, he somehow  snagged one of the most popular senior girls as his date. Chicks dig him.  He clearly does not take after his old man.

Well, I think those boring details of my mundane life will just about wrap up a post for this morning. The good news is there is not one single political bit in there.  The bad news is I am off work.  That means you may get multiple posts today, unless I find another way to occupy my time.

Now I am off to the interwebz.  I hope some of you have found a way to entertain me on this Holy Friday morning.

New law is mean and scary or inspired by Nazis or something like that

Earlier this year the Democrats in the Indiana House of Representatives came to work the minimum number of days to collect their annual pay. Then they left the State on a Union-paid walkout that lasted for weeks (longer than Wisconsin).

In retaliation the Senate Republicans have passed a bill imposing fines of $1,000 if a legislator fails to show for work for more than three days (unless he/she is sick). Based on the hysterics this has caused among the professional left and Democrats in general, the bill must also include a requirement to strangle puppies, corncob kittens and kill your first born child. Read this article. The comments are so over the top I cannot believe it. Clearly the Progressives must have nothing better to do than engage in long comments at the Indy Star. Expecting elected legislators to actually come to work apparently is similar to living in the Third Reich or under the thumb of despotic Communists or something. Expecting your Representative to actually participate in debate and vote and do the job for which he/she was paid is akin to forcing citizens to go to church or putting us in concentration camps.

I don't know about you, but if I fail to show up for work for three days or more without a doctor's excuse I would not expect to have a job tomorrow. As an employer of the State Legislators, should I expect any less?

One of the features of a Representative Democracy is that the minority has its say and the majority has its way. The Democrats may not like or accept the populace rejected their agenda in the last election. I was not thrilled by the Democrat rule for much of my life -- but that is the way politics works. So, the Democrats do not like the union and education reforms proposed by the Republicans?  Then they can change the law the next time they are in charge! If Democrats find the proposed law forcing them to actually show up at work so heinous they can repeal it the next session -- providing they can convince the voters the Democrat agenda is best for the people of Indiana.

That is the great thing about our form of government. Every two or four years we can elect another group to change whatever we did not like about the previous politicians. The American people did not like the profligate spending of the past few Congress. So we elected some people who claim they will be more fiscally responsible. If they fail to reign in spending, or if we decide we like a lot of Federal spending by the time another election rolls around we can elected some new people that fit our ideal political theory.

If we do not like what our elected representatives are up to, we can vote against them the next time.  If this law is so horrible, the Democrats need to convince their constituents to throw out the Repubs and elect Dems instead. I bet they will have a hard time finding enough citizens in Indiana who agree the best course of action is to just run away.

I could be wrong.

That 2:00 AM wake up call

Like many things the Government does, the intentions are good. I must have missed the reports in the paper, but I skip a lot of the articles. The County has begun calling county residents in times of dangerous weather. It is a broadcast call, similar to what the local schools use to notify us of delays and cancellations. The purpose is to augment the old sirens with modern technology.

Yesterday we got our first call. Around noon or so, the phone rang and an electronic voice told me the county was under a flood warning. "Hmm, huh"? says I to myself, "What was that all about?". I shrugged it off and thought no more about it.

Some wild weather came through the area last evening.  Thunder, lightning, strong winds and heavy rain came with watches and warnings. The wife was aggravated the weather guys interrupted her favorite show, But there was no further phone calls from the system I did not know about and had only called me once before.  In fact I forgot all about the phone call.

I went to bed around eleven-thirty. I slept well with the rain pelting the windows and thunder echoing from the rafters. I like a good spring storm. Then at 2:07 in the morning the phone rang. Those calls scare the shit out of me. I have two kids away from the nest and my parents are getting older. My best friend has continuing and worsening heart problems. The phone call was not welcome.

I answered with trepidation.  Middle-of-the-night phone calls are never good news.

An electronic voice told me the county was under a flood warning. What the fuck? Not to downgrade the danger a rising river can mean to some folks, but I live a few miles from the nearest body of water capable of flooding. I get standing water in my side yard every time we get a heavy dew, but I am never in flood danger.

If a flood threatens my home I will have been pre-warned: the animals will have been vacating my neighborhood two-by-two in the preceding weeks. The news will have been reporting on the kook down in French Lick building the Very Big Boat.

Like I said, the intentions are good.  A warned populace is a safer populace. But perhaps we should save our hysterical late night phone warnings for true impending disasters like tornadoes, and tsunamis. Modern news coverage and reporting already provides enough warning for blizzards, floods and hurricanes (unless you live in NOLA). I do not need a phone call to tell me a river three or four miles away is in flood stage.

I almost let the date slip by

I just looked at my desk calendar and realized today is April 19th. For most of you that means squat, but my mind automatically scans the internal file system and determined today was our true Independence Day.

Yes, Boys and Girls, on this date in 1775, the citizens soldiers of the Massachusetts Colony engaged the forces of His Majesty King George at Lexington, and later in the morning at Concord. The American Revolution had begun.

The previous night lanterns were hung in the Old North Church and riders were dispatched throughout the countryside warning the Militia to rally. On this date in 1775, a ragtag bunch of amateurs faced the British Regulars on the Lexington Green.  Shots were fired and eight Colonists were killed.

Gallons of ink have been used to describe that momentous day. Some are mere exaggeration and hyperbole (ahem, Mr. Longfellow). I think none are more beautiful than Emerson's Concord Hymn (especially the first stanza):

By the rude bridge that arched the flood,
Their flag to April's breeze unfurled,
Here once the embattled farmers stood,
And fired the shot heard round the world.

Holy Rip Van Winkle, Batman...

What the Heck? I fell asleep in the chair a little after nine last night. I finally stumbled to bed around 9:30. Good God, In the old days I did not even think about heading to the bar until after ten! It is not like I had a rough weekend. It is not like I had a hard Monday.  I left home around 10:30 AM, picked up a colleague at the airport and visited a couple of customers.  I was home by a little after six.  I am not sure what is the matter with me.

I woke around 5:30 this morning, mostly to pee.  Thunder was rumbling in the distance and the sparrows and cardinals and robins were raising a racket in the pre-dawn morning. Since I had already slept more than usual I went out to fetch the paper and turned on the morning news. I got the boy up at the usual time for school. I woke the wife some twenty minutes later. Then, I went back to bed. I actually slept for about twenty more minutes! I likely will not sleep for the next week.

In other news, I have no news.   Check back later for some insightful political commentary, some cutting edge humor or an amusing anecdote. You likely will not find any of that stuff here, but I need the hits, traffic is way down.

No Lefties Bashed in Writing This Post

It is Monday.  The weekend are sure short -- they seem to last less than half of the work week. Mine was somehow busy, but I did not do a damn thing. Saturday I took my daily walk and then I did nothing until the wife and I went to the mall for a bit. I sat bored out of my mind while she did whatever she does at the mall that takes so long. We had some BBQ for supper, so that was good.

Sunday I took an extra long walk.  The wind gusts nearly blew me over. I then watched the end of some movie until it was time to watch the Cubs.  They lost.

I made salad with grilled chicken on top for supper. After I cleaned the kitchen I again placed my fat ass in the chair and did nothing until bed time.

Oh, I did read a book Saturday.  I forgot. Cheap fiction. Entertaining. Have I mentioned I lurve my Kindle. It is one of the best inventions ever.

My life is so boring.

Now it is time to get to work. I have wasted six minutes writing this post, you spent one reading it. This is not the activity that makes for a productive society. Get to work, you slacker.

What we have here is a failure to communicate

Humiliation equals hurt feelings
Hurt feelings lead to anger
Anger begets resentment
Resentment leads to indifference

My mood is as black as my heart

It is a cool damp Saturday morning. It suits my mood -- somewhat black.

Mom always said if I cannot say something nice I should keep my piehole closed. She did not exactly phrase it in that manner, but you get the idea.

What would you say

I propose we cut the Federal Budget by 25%. Cut it across the board. I do not mean cut from what we want to spend, from what we might spend. I mean flat reduce every department. I do not care how the various agencies get to the new number, cut services, cut people, cut waste.

Take what we are blowing spending in 2011 and flat reduce every budget (including defense) by 1/4.

Reducing the budget by these "draconian" amounts will not leave the kiddies dying. Women will not swoon from hunger. Roads will be maintained. We will be safe.

You see, those evil, bare bones levels will take us back to 2008 spending. You know, back when Bush was bankrupting the country.

Instead, the Republican leadership are bragging about reducing spending by 1/100 of one percent. Democrats are wailing that the knife was too sharp.

There must be some old swamp gas still floating in the air around Washington DC, they are all high.

Or maybe just irresponsible.

Some are just commie mofos.

Or more likely, just fucking politicians.

If there were term limits maybe some of the gutless wonders would do what was right instead of worrying about getting re-elected.