Fire all your guns at once

We dodged the weather bullet as freezing drizzle turned to a steady rain overnight. Rain continues to fall this morning in what appears to be a weather rerun from last weekend. So no snow so far for 2020.

I made a big pot of potato soup last night and served it up with BLT sandwiches. As usual, we ate way too much bacon. Leftover soup will provide our weekend lunches.

For once I know our plans for Saturday. We are babysitting this evening. I can live with that. I’ll pass the rest of the time with the same old routine: reading, watching old movies, napping. Yes life is boring around here.

Have a great Saturday. Here is a little Saturday cartoon to get your day started. Don’t just eat the marshmallows from your Lucky Charms while watching.

6600

This post marks a milestone. This is post 6,600 — albeit only 6503 published counting this one. Yes, I hear you asking aloud “ How bad must the unpublished work be if some of the other content made the grade?”. Yes.

Six thousand six hundred posts is a lot of words. No wonder my content is a bit suspect. You are as tired of my tales and opinion as my wife. Heck, one of the reasons I started blogging was for a place to vent, tell stories and opine to people who hadn’t heard it all a dozen times before. Now you are stuck getting a daily dose.

Sorry about that.

Learning to Fly

Deep within a forest a little turtle began to climb a tree. After hours of effort he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his front legs and crashed to the ground.

After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again, jumped, and fell to the ground. The turtle tried again and again while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watched his sad efforts.

Finally, the female bird turned to her mate. “Dear,” she chirped, “I think it’s time to tell him he’s adopted.”

We had the Cold War all wrong

Was Nancy stoned at her press conference on impeachment yesterday? She was stumble mumbling about time and other nonsensical references. She topped off that less-than-erudite rambling with a celebratory signing, passing out souvenir pens to her cronies. I’m sure there were some high fives and stogies behind closed doors. Way to be classy, Democrats.

Boy o boy is the next Democrat President going to hate the new rules.

Unless that President is Bernie. His supporters say The Bern is going full Stalin, putting the Trumpers into Gulags and giving us all a dose of re-education. Don’t worry,  Bernie Bro assures us the Gulags weren’t that bad.

Mind you, this isn’t just tinfoil hat paranoia. This is Bernie’s own field reps calling for re-education camps.

Perhaps The Bern will be the one guy in history that can make Communism actually work. You gotta break a few eggs to make an omelet and if making communism works means imprisoning or killing a few hundred thousand capitalists, Christians, and conservatives, we’re all good.

Hey, maybe now that he is lead prosecutor in the Trump impeachment Schiff can trot out that Russia, Russia, Russia evidence he claims to have backing up the Steele Dossier.

I think now Cocaine Mitch should drag out the proceedings. Wait a week or two to start the Impeachment Trial in the Senate.  Push the trial right into the Iowa Caucuses and New Hampshire and Nevada Primaries. Put Bernie and the Cherokee Princess into choosing between their Senatorial duties or their political ambitions.

hunpity hump day

My wife's family tree must be a cactus because everybody on it is a prick.

Oh, quit. You’ll repeat it within 24 hours.

Four O’Clock and All is Well

Early. Check. Not a new story around here. Enough about that.

In Britain, the Royal family...nope. Don’t care.

I hope my coffee doesn’t poison me this morning. Apparently there was a pump failure up on the mighty White River and those of us in the North ‘burbs are under a “ boil your water before consuming “ order.  I didn’t boil my coffee water this morning because I forgot and two, I hope the heat of the Keurig kills whatever evil microbes in the water that are trying their utmost to get into my gut and breed. The thought of drinking water direct from the nasty White River gives me the willies. While not as polluted as the burning Cayuga Cuyahoga of Cleveland fame, the White River has plenty of issues.

Say, you want to come over for tea this afternoon?

You keep lyin’ When you oughta be truthin’

Monday.

Reporting in.

I hope you had a great weekend. I did, cleaning carpets. Woot and Wahoo. They needed cleaning, especially since the baby is rolling around. I sucked up about a pound of nasty dog hair from when the Boy’s dog was here.

I dreamed I was sick last night. Who imagines they got the flu? In my dream I had a cough, runny nose, fever, sore throat, all of the usual unpleasantness. Thankfully I am perfectly healthy this morning.

Have a good Monday.

I choose the chick in the green sweater.

Sunday Pictures

Rainbow - Shelby County, IN December 20, 2012

I took this picture at 60 MPH from my car window. If memory serves, I was heading back from buying Christmas presents in the Big City.

What was unusual is that you don’t usually see rainbows at 2:20 in the afternoon. Or in December.

This was taken with an iPhone a few miles from my old house. This is looking east. The mountains would be behind me.

And a thousand miles away.

The land does not tilt, it is flat as can be. Blame the picture taker.

I think photographer is the right term, I just hesitate to attach any label to my efforts that infers competence.

A little bit of it all

Thunder rumbles and lightning flashes in the January sky. Heavy rain is overwhelming the gutters and adding to the flooding low spots in the yard. It is not your typical winter weather with temps expected near 60 today. So it goes. Things will even out and sub-zero air will balance nature before spring arrives.

It has been determined “we” will clean carpets this weekend, providing I can borrow my SIL’s carpet cleaner.

It occurs to me I make my wife out to be a demanding harridan on occasion in these pages. It is in fact just the opposite. She is sweet and kind.

She insists I tell you that. “Demands” might be a better word.

Seriously, she doesn’t even know I have a blog.

I’ve been reading a historical novel about the Franklin/Nashville Campaign. It is written in the Jeff and Michael Shaara way, history blended into a novel with the character’s thoughts etc. described. It is not bad for a free book. I guess it has not made a great impression. I cannot remember the title. I am not thrilled with the depiction of General George Thomas so far. But otherwise I am entertained. Isn’t that the whole point?

The scenes of the Battle of Franklin ring as fairly accurate, perhaps giving the Southern effort a little more success and glory than justified. But I have to take my own historical bias into account. Those of you who attach a Faulkner-like romance to Pickett’s Charge should look to Hood’s utter wasting of the Western Confederate Army in a charge across two miles of open ground against an entrenched Union Army.

At Franklin six Confederate Generals were killed, seven were wounded, and one captured and 55 Regimental Commanders were casualties. After the subsequent attacks at Nashville, Hood would squander half of his army.

As with much of the war the campaigns in the East grabbed headlines while the west slogged away in desperate bloody battles bungled more times than not by utter incompetence by Confederate leadership.

Edit: Die Like Men by Tim Kent

A Legacy

I’m told former Veep Dan Quayle no longer resides in the Hoosier State. His legacy lives on, however. Here we see signage written by a graduate of the Dan Quayle Scool of Speling:

Embiggin if you need to

Spotted last weekend at a BBQ joint.

I mock, but my spelling is atrocious. Thank goodness for spell check.

I shall endeavor to persevere

The full moon is shining a soft white through the bare branches of the maple tree in the front yard. I find myself staring out the window contemplating the moon and life in general.

I deleted three paragraphs of “poor me”. You are welcome.

I guess I wasn’t home when the Publisher Clearinghouse crew came by to give me that big check in the first of my lifetime weekly winnings.

Maybe I will just live in my HGTV Dream home I’m about to win when the mortgage company comes for my current house.

I think my chances of winning the lottery are pretty good. Well, they would be if I bought a ticket. I guess I could take my unemployment debit card down to the casino next week and double my investment. Just one pull on the one armed bandit and I could be set for the foreseeable future. My strategy is to take those winnings, double down and take a hit on that hard 15 in blackjack. The dealer will be speechless. Ka-ching. Do I have to report gambling winnings on my unemployment voucher?

If I start writing now do you think I can crank out the next great American novel and generate Harry Potter-like sales in say, the next sixty days? That’s realistic, right?

In a few minutes the wife will come downstairs and wish me a good morning. My granddaughters will come in the front door and I will know I’m rich beyond measure. I am truly blessed. I won life’s lottery. I just need to remember it.

A wake would be more effective

More people died at Iranian General Salmanders funeral than in the Iranian missile attack on American bases last night.

why you pay the subscription price

A read aloud joke:

What type of fruit has to get married with family and friends present.

A cantaloupe

Hot Buns

I see it all of the time, and I’m going to be frank. Hair tied into a bun is the opposite of sexy. It is unattractive, especially as a topknot. Maybe a bun on the back of the head, librarian style, might pass muster, but probably not.

Man buns are even worse. Any dude who sports a man bun deserves a quick kick in the gonads courtesy of an NFL placekicker.

You can argue in the comments, but you would be wrong.

Dear Colin

So, Mr. Kaepernick, you see the killing of a terrorist who has killed hundreds, if not thousands, of people of color as just another example of America’s history of crimes against people of pigment and Imperialism.

I see your rant as further example that you are economically illiterate and historically ignorant.

If America is such a horrible place, how about  you pack your Nike gear and move somewhere you think is better.

What is worse, 103,000 people liked this ignorant tweet. It is a sad state of affairs when the American Left will root for a murdering terrorist over their own country.

There is nothing new about American terrorist attacks against Black and Brown people for the expansion of American imperialism.

— Colin Kaepernick (@Kaepernick7) January 4, 2020

Sunday Photos

I’m thinking of trying out a new feature. I will call it Sunday Photos. It will feature some of my favorite pictures from my travels. I am not good at taking pics of people, but some of my nature shots aren’t bad, I think. Anyway, I will try things out for this week at least.  I may have posted some of these shots before. I don’t know.

Anyway let me know in the comments what you think of this idea.

Columbia River Gorge from Crown Point

I took this with an old second generation iPhone back in May 2010. The lens had maybe 2 mega pixels.  The fuzziness is what I like about the picture. I think it gives a painting-like aspect. This is looking east up the Columbia River.

I used to go to Portland four to six times a year on business and I tried to drive up into the Gorge at every opportunity.  It is one of my favorite spots I have ever visited.

I hate “Light My Fire”

Overcast and damp would best describe the outside conditions this morning. It looks like it could start raining or snowing at any time. Most likely rain. Inside it is a comfortable 68 F. with nary a chance of precipitation. I hope not anyway.

If the past 34 years of blog posts have demonstrated anything it is the futility of my guessing our weekend plans. The cruise director will tell me when to be ready and where to go at the appropriate time. Therefore I shall not speculate this morning.

As I mentioned yesterday, the usual suspects are hand-wringing over the death of a terrorist. Oh Noes,  I suspect Cindy Sheehan and the Code Pink Nasties will be out waving their sad wrinkly flabby breasties in protest beginning about Tuesday. They took the Obama years off so are well-rested for the big election year assault on the Trumpster.

Let’s be honest. Iran has had an ass kicking coming for 40 years.

Sorry, things are heading a little too serious for a great Saturday morning. How about a little humor to wrap things up on a light note?

Have a great Saturday

Death from the sky

I sympathize with batteries.

I’m never included in anything either.

I’ll be here all week. Please tip the waitstaff.

The Trumpster just offed some terrorists. The usual suspects are all in a lather. Earlier in the week they were complaining that we are doing nothing about the Iranian-backed terrorists attacking our embassy. Now the same Democrats people are hand-wringing that we did something.

How about we ask this question — What was a general of the Iranian Revolutionary Guard doing meeting with known Hezbollah terrorists in Iraq anyway? I am skeptical he was there to exchange hangover cures in a post New Years celebration recipe swap.

By the way, if you doubt this was a two-pronged message you are not too politically astute. I bet the live feed was patched straight to the little Rocket Man in Korea as a not too subtle warning.

Everyone is worried the Mideast will now erupt into terrorism and violence. Those pundits ignore the last 10 centuries. Maybe we can assuage the Mad Mullahs with a cool billion or two in cash and blame the whole thing on a YouTube video.

A Thursday Post for those with Short Attention Spans

“Liar” may not be an apt description, but my pants are warm enough to be smoking. Yes, I led you somewhat astray in my post yesterday. The Christmas decorations are still up, inside and out. The Boss decreed that they shall stay up until the weekend. I argued “weather” and got the look. So there you have it, a case of accidental prevarication.

I threw a chuck roast into the crockpot yesterday. Mashed spuds and corn rounded out the meal. No black eyed peas, nor cabbage for our New Years’ fare.

Today has a distinctive Monday feel. I guess it is because the girls are back today.

Where do belly buttons go to school? The Navel Academy. Baboomp. I got a new Dad Jokes book for Christmas. You are welcome.

Have a great day.

what is old is now new

Take that 2019 — 302 posts. You thought I would not make it. Sure, it took a bunch of Christmas song videos to make it over the top, but I never claimed to present quality content any way.

Happy New Year to you, readers. It is gonna be a great year.

Unless it is not.

We celebrated the New Year in the same old way. I kissed my wife at the stroke of midnight. Earlier we went to dinner with some friends and then drove down south to their house to play cards. They live in my old neighborhood. Early readers of the old blog might remember when I lived next to a lake / retention pond.

Today the outside Christmas decorations come down. That procedure is quicker than putting them up. I hate to take them down, everything is so blah and gloomy without the lights and wreaths. So it goes.  I was going to wait until the weekend, but rain is slated to move in Saturday. I guess if I feel the need to see some Christmas lights I can just drive a couple of blocks. Those guys leave their lights on until April or whenever they burn out.

Thanks for hanging with me through 2019. I look forward to sharing this bit of nonsense in the coming year.

Unless I don’t.

That’s how life works.

Have a great day.