Lighten Up, Francis

A man wonders if having sex on the Sabbath is a sin because he is not sure if sex is work or play, so he goes to a priest and asks for his opinion on this question.

After consulting the Bible, the priest says, “My son, after an exhaustive search, I am positive that sex is work and is therefore not permitted on Sundays.”

The man thinks: “What does a priest know about sex?”

So he goes to a minister who, after all, is a married man and experienced in this matter.

He queries the minister and receives the same reply. Sex is work and therefore not for the Sabbath!

Not pleased with the reply, he seeks out a Rabbi, a man of thousands of years of tradition and knowledge.

The Rabbi ponders the question, then states, “My son, sex is definitely play.”

The man replies, “Rabbi, how can you be so sure when so many others tell me sex is work?”

The Rabbi speaks softly: “My son, if sex were work, my wife would have the maid do it.”

 

Remember

 

Romeo y Juliette 7x50 Connecticut

I have holiday weekend-type stuff on tap for today that may not involve sunshine, pools, cigars, beer, grilling, and laughter. Luckily, my travels will not send me anywhere near the west side of Naptown for reasons that may or may not be clear. You can solve the mystery easily by consulting a map and the sports section of the electronic or paper version of your favorite news source. 

Instead of meaningful content...stop laughing and wipe that spit take coffee from your keyboard...here is a joke for your enjoyment. It may just be adult enough to garner yet another censored warning from the Google overlords. We shall see:

Two old men decide they are close to their last days and decide to have a last night on the town.

After a few drinks, they end up at the local brothel.

The madam takes one look at the two old geezers and whispers to her manager: ‘Go upto the first two bedrooms and put an inflated doll in each bed. These two are so old and drunk, I’m not wasting two of my girls on them. They won’t know the difference’.

The manager does as he is told and the two old men go upstairs and take care of their business.

As they are walking home the first man says “You know, I think my girl was dead’. ”

Dead? says his friend, “Why do you say that?’

‘Well she never moved or made a sound all the time I was loving her’.

His friend says. ‘Could be worse I think mine was a witch’.

‘A witch??….why the hell would you say that?’ ‘

Well, I was making love to her, kissing her on the neck, and I gave her a little bite, then she farted and flew out the window… took my teeth with her!’

 

Hold out the morning that comes into view

After a rainy couple of days this morning dawns bright and clear. My store brand Kona coffee is hot. The day lily in back has pumped out a bloom already. 

We ventured out to the cinema last night to watch the Top Gun sequel. It was worth waiting more than 30 years to see for sure. Yes, the plot is unrealistic, and we again have a too long and unnecessary shirtless scene of the pilots playing football on the beach, and the objective sure sounds a lot like Luke dropping a bomb on he Death Star, but who cares? Baby I was entertained! This sequel was every bit as good as the original. Plus we had movie popcorn. 

Alan White the long-time drummer for Yes passed yesterday. He provided the beat for the progressive kings for forty years. Before that he drummed for John Lennon and the Plastic Ono band as well as providing services as a studio musician. The rock icons of my youth are dying off. But then I look in the mirror and my reflection reminds me I’m not so young anymore. 

Anyway, here is some live Yes from ‘72 right after White joined the band:

Cross-dressing cartoon characters

Yesterday afternoon the littlest granddaughter, who just turned three, was watching the cartoon Muppet Babies.  She snuggled next to me on the couch. Piggy was reading a book about Cinderella and looking at the pictures in the book. The muppets decided they would have a costume ball like in the story. The girls would be princesses, the boys knights. Gonzo said he wanted a beautiful dress like in the book. Oh oh. 

Piggy told him he had to be a prince.

Gonzo is bummed until the fairy godfather appeared and zapped him into a dress, complete with a mask. He was the star of the ball in his dress, etc. etc. Later Gonzo revealed that he was wearing the beautiful dress. Everyone said they loved him and that it was OK he wanted to wear dresses, that being himself was most important. You get the idea.

The wife was sorting toys. She just stared at the screen. “Can you believe this?” She asked.

On the surface I guess the message is good. Deeper, this show is targeted at pre-K kids. We are talking toddlers. Do they really need an inclusiveness message? Do they need to be lectured that sex is a social construct? Does anyone think this is not grooming by the very definition? Is anyone shocked this trash is on the Disney Channel, where executives have vowed to place LGBQ+ issues into every show and movie? 

Mission accomplished.

Also

Taking a side alley off memory lane

I was working in manufacturing back in the early 1990s. I was part of a team leading the transition to a new way of managing production. The big boss called team meetings with production line teams to describe the changes. I was standing in the back next to some of the assemblers. 

As the big boss explained the move from batch production he held up a book that he bought for everyone to read. Mumbling started. One assembler in particular seemed perturbed. I guessed Connie wasn’t too keen on the idea of “homework”. 

The copies of “The Just in Time Breakthrough” were passed around. As Connie got her copy she started laughing. I asked her what was wrong. 

“Ah shit”, she laughed, “I thought when he was holding up that book the title was ‘Lust in the break room’. I guess I need glasses”. 

From then on everyone in the factory referred to the book as “Lust in the break room”. A book about sex among the vending machines would have been far more interesting than the book we received. Plus some of the employees might have actually read the Lust book. I’m sure no one but me read the other one. I only read it to use it against my manager when he proposed something stupid. “But that isn’t what it says to do in Lust...”. 

Yes, I was an ass thirty years ago too. 

Words fail me

A steady rain falls as early birds chirp in the pre-dawn darkness. I don’t know why I’m up early. It just is. 

My heart breaks for the families of those children killed in Texas. Evil truly stalks this world. I won’t blame guns nor the gun lobby, rather the coward who murdered innocent babies. I’m glad he is dead and I hope he is suffering the fires of Hell. 

We don’t know why this scum murdered 20. We might never know. I refuse to name his person. Too many of these gunmen want nothing more than notoriety in our look-at-me TikTok Facebook Instagram culture. Everyone not only wants to be famous, they firmly believe they should be. And yes, I get the irony of posting a blog about the subversive influences of social media.

A Border Patrol agent reportedly respond to the school and fired the fateful shot that put down the murderer. If so, he is a hero. We should celebrate his actions, not the evil incarnate that destroyed families and rendered their hearts forever. We need to change the focus of our reporting. 

More: In an opinion piece about the Uvalde murders, The Rolling Stone magazine blames the shooting on white supremacy. Racism, is there nothing it can’t do? Despite the fact a Hispanic man killed a group of largely Hispanic children, it somehow is the fault of White People. Look it up. I’m not going to link to such nonsense. It isn’t helpful. 

Whole lotta nuthin’

I’m not sure where the weekend went. Saturday we cleaned a bit and then went to dinner with some friends. After dinner they came over for euchre and snacks. Sunday I mowed then we went to see the granddaughter in a swimming competition. Yes, I see you stifling that yawn. 

I see Brandon has promised to go to war with China should they attack Taiwan. In light of this position the armed forces should probably start focusing on war training instead of identifying white privilege and intense CRT indoctrination. 

I have plenty of stuff on the calendar this week prior to the long holiday weekend. I am counting the days. 

Curious Case of Censorship

I wasn’t much in the mood to write anything this morning. Since I am the courteous sort, I thought I’d just put up a quick post stating such. That idea in reality creates a quasi-paradox since posting a statement that I’m not going to post creates a post in itself. 

When I arrived at the Blogger dashboard I had two separate notifications that posts had been censored for violations of community guidelines. One was blocked behind a content notice, the other unpublished in its entirety. Huh? The problem is that no specific post is referenced in the notices. I scrolled back to December and found nothing in Draft that I didn’t leave there. I’m not sure what recent post would be filled with adult content either. In fact, I’m not sure I have posted nudity at all. Who knows? I have put out a lot of material over the nearly two decades of this piece o’crap blog. Maybe way back in the roaring naughts? 

I am not surprised someone somewhere was offended by my content. I am surprised it took this long to be censored by the leftists that run the hosting site. 

If you are expecting a grandiose outraged rant on censorship you are about to be disappointed. When you use someone’s platform you follow their rules. Just as there is no free speech at work (looking at you who are offended you cannot teach Sex Ed to first graders in Florida), the Google overlords have the right to limit my speech. I can like it or leave it. So it goes. 

Far from upset, I’m mostly curious as to the offending posts.

How about some music to mellow this Saturday conundrum? 

Ready Steve?

 Friday. Windy. Warm. There, we have the weather covered. 

Biden has exactly the gas prices he wants to force you to quit driving a big SUV and cough up cash for an EV, whether you want it or not. Plus, it makes alternative fuels more cost competitive. Think I’m wrong? The administration will not even concede gas is too high.  Look at the gas price chart in the linked article. Funny how those highs mostly coincide with Democrats in the Oval Office, particularly the record high costs. 

Think inflation is flattering your wallet now? Wait until record high diesel fuel costs get rolled into every good shipped in the US. Grocery prices will really skyrocket, providing you can find your favorite meat, frozen food, canned good, or produce on the shelf. 

Funny how my liberal commenters  have gone all cricket chirps these days. It is hard to tell me I’m wrong when the empirical evidence is slapping you in the face every time you pull into your local gas pump and grocery. 

On to more amusing stuff. This was stuck in m head this morning. Ready Steve? Andy? Mic? Let’s goooo!

I have to get myself a cape.

airports bring out the worst in people

I’m back in God’s Favorite State. It was a very good business trip this week, but I’m tired. Yesterday we left the hotel just after 7:30 AM. I walked in my front door at 1:23 AM this morning. If my math is right that is around an 18 hour day that included the unpleasantness that is flying and airports these days. The only saving grace is the late flight was not full and the middle seat next to me was open. To round out the experience was a conference call at 8AM this morning. Yay, me. 

I always point to weeks like this when people say they wish they had a job like mine. 

Don’t let me fool you. I like my job. I like travel. I like the life on the road. Just never confuse vacation travel with business travel. 

Gas was $5.09 in Maryland. Thanks Brandon. We are pushing Jimmah Carter levels of inflation, but at least we don’t have mean tweets. Experts predict $6 gas by Independence  Day. That is more than double the price before Biden became President. Obama blamed everything on Bush. Biden blames it all on Putin. Seems like things go to crap when we have a Democrat in charge. I think I know who to blame, even if the President doesn’t. 

While I’m giving Democrats their deserved bashing, how do all of you who propagated the lie that  Georgia’s voting law was  “Jim Crow on steroids” explain how more people in Georgia are early voting than ever? Yes, I know, no mean tweets. 

I’m sorry I don’t have any amusing stories or anecdotes from this trip. It was all pretty routine this time. That is a good thing.

Charming my way through charm city

 Hola, I haven’t forgotten you. I am back on the road for the first time in a while and busy is the word. I had a hard time connecting to the internet from the hotel last night and a late business dinner this evening. 

I can mark a new city off my list. I do not think I have been to Baltimore previously, other than the airport BWI to connect. Now I can say I have. I’ve seen nothing that makes me say “Wow”, nor has it been unpleasant. I have also been calling on really Big Customer pit in the suburbs, so...

We had a busy day of meetings today and more tomorrow. I have a very late flight home, so I’ll be looking at a 16 or 17 hour day tomorrow that follows today’s 13 hour day and yesterday’s 14 hour day. I know Thursday will be full of already scheduled conference calls, so maybe I’ll knock off early Friday afternoon. 

Man, I bet you are thrilled you stopped by to read this. 

Just a little exercise

What if every time you see the word “abortion” it was replaced with “kill a baby”? Would your attitude change?

Something to think about as 49 out of 50 Democrat Senators just voted for the ability to “abort” right up to the moment of birth.  

Yes, they really did. 

She helped me with my suitcase

The sky is clear and a color the folks at Binny & Smith call “sky blue” for a reason. The trees are a deep green and so is the grass. It is too early for the neighborhood to echo with the sound of lawnmowers and trimmers, but it will not be long, my house included. Life in the ‘burbs moves apace. 

The maple is dropping seed pod helicopters and the wife is starting her annual rant that we should “cut down that tree”. Her hatred is unreasonable. I made the mistake of telling her a few years ago if the helicopters bothered her so much she should go rake them up. She asked why the neighbors’ yards are not littered with “those brown things”? I pointed out the neighbors don’t have maple trees in their front yard. 

It is weird how two important women in my life had the same hatred for maple seed pods - my grandmother and my wife. Grandma used to make me pick up every helicopter before I could mow. The wife wants me to, but I won’t do it. 

We need to drag out the power washer and clean away the winter filth from the porch and patio. Maybe we can get it in before some expected afternoon pop-up thundershowers. 

I’m heading off to see Big Customer tomorrow. That means a few days of wearing dress clothes and real shoes. The button down shirt and Dockers are fine. The shoes mean I will be in pretty good pain and likely limping around by noon. So it goes. I’m going to have to break down and have another surgery, I guess. I really, really do not want to. It is 50/50 at this point which I dread more, the every day pain or the six to eight weeks immobilized (with no guarantees that will fix the problem). Maybe in the fall. 

Have a great Sunday.

You Know a Melody Can Move Me

Last night after supper I moseyed out to the patio to enjoy the warm spring evening. I lit a cigar and turned on some music. I had an unopened book on my lap. Robins flew from branch to ground to branch in a flurry of activity. A bunny shot across the yard to hide behind the hostas. The crab apples were in blossom and I could just make out the scent of the-just-starting-to-bloom lilacs behind me. 

Jet contrails etched the sky as I tried out my new Monkey ashtray  I bought last month because it was cheap and amusing. As classic rock played in the background, my worries and cares drifted into the evening sky with the smoke from the stogie. I was content for the first time in a long while. I offered a silent prayer of thanks. 

The search for El Dorado

The wife was messing around on her iPad doing whatever she does. I was watching the Duke in El Dorado. Around 10:30 she said she was going upstairs and I told her she could watch whatever on the TV because I’ve seen the movie like forty times. She laughed and said she was tired and that she’s even seen that movie. 

It’s hard to believe the cast is filled with Oscar winners, Emmy winners and Academy Award nominees. But it is an entertaining movie, especially that Maudie.

Biden isn’t even mentioned

Since I have written more than 7,300 posts it is clear I cannot remember all of the wit, charm, politics, jokes, and nonsense I have posted to the interwebz. I am always struck on the occasion I go through the archives and run across something that makes me say Urkel-like “Did I write that?”. Usually, it is because the piece is cringeworthy. Occasionally, it is something slightly better than mediocre. Here is a piece I do not even remotely remember from back in 2007. With a lot of editing and re-work it wouldn’t be awful:

April 8, 2007
A Day at the Beach

He gasped as he stepped into the surf. He knew the Atlantic was cold, but the chill surprised him every time. The waves were a little higher this time. The ebb tide had turned and high tide was again on the make. His friend and their kid had gone with his son to the outer sand bank about 50 yards offshore where the waves broke just a little bigger. There they could feel the waves crash into their bodies and take turns riding the boogie board on top of the waves for 15 yards or so.

He had made the trip out twice earlier in the afternoon. He could wade out about 30 or 40 feet then he had to swim out to the sand bank where the water was waist deep at best. He had promised his son one more trip out through the surf. When the time came, he begged off. The sun and day at the beach coupled with the two previous swims in the cold ocean to the sand bar had taken their toll; the man was tired. His friend said he would go and with his larger teen aged daughter and the man's small teen aged son they set out, calling him as wuss. The man's wife heckled him to go, reminding him he had promised his son. The man got to his feet with a sigh and followed the three into the surf.

At the sand bar the waves hit with more power than before, coming quicker and stronger with the growing tide. The water was not so cold once you got used to it he remarked. Soon the tide made it time to go in. The water level at the sandbar was now at the man's chest level as opposed to barely waist level a few hours earlier.

The man and his son started back. The son was an OK swimmer so he paddled on top of the boogie board. The man waded along for a few steps then was forced to swim. He would climb the swell with a strong breast stroke. He was forced to stop and tread water to stay with his son. The waves were growing larger. It took more effort to climb to the top of each succeeding wave. The waves came quicker and he urged his son to paddle faster. A wave broke over his head. He saw a large wave coming and swam to the top. In the valley he could feel the pull backward, he swam forward and moved only a few feet against the current. The pattern repeated. Now the swim to shore was fifty or sixty yards as opposed to the thirty before.

He urged his son to go quicker, a little panic creeping into his mind. His friends were far behind him. He swam to the top of another wave, his arms and legs beginning to feel heavy. Again he urged his son to hurry. He was smothered in the swell again, this time he swallowed the salty seawater. His arms and legs felt like lead. He could not swim another stroke. He tread water for a minute to see his son, now 10 yards behind him. Another wave. "Come on" he shouted. Another wave. Always a good swimmer, he could not believe he was struggling like this. Another wave. His legs would not move. Oh God, he thought, I am not going to make it. Another wave. The shore was too far. Another wave. He went under again. He tried to swim, but his arms would not work. Another wave. He rolled to his back, knowing if he could just rest a moment he would be fine. Another wave. He swallowed even more water. He called to his son to hurry, maybe he could rest on the board for a moment and catch his breath. Another wave. His son saw the worry on his dad's face and mistook it. He shouted back he was fine. Another wave. 

The man drew on every bit of strength he could find and swam a few yards before he was pounded down by another wave, he was closer. He wife began running into the surf, she could see he was foundering. His friend told his daughter to hurry and they sped forward. The man could not move his arms. He went under to see if he could stand up yet, the bottom still was beyond his reach, maybe an inch -- maybe by feet. The effort to climb to the top of the swell was all he could muster. Another wave. He turned to look at his son, concerned he was OK. The boy was dog paddling with ease over the swell. Another wave. The man went under. Pure panic set in, but he could not move his exhausted limbs. He felt sorry for his family, he was embarrassed, he fought again, but the energy was gone. Another wave. He struggled, he thought his tired lungs would burst. Another wave.

He at last felt the bottom and was enveloped by a warm glow the likes of which he never felt before. He was calm, he was peaceful. He felt another wave crash over him. He was no longer tired. Another wave pushed his lifeless body toward the shore, just a few yards away.

Time Travelin’

 Here is an old one I published back in 2008:

It's the summer of 1957 and Harold goes to pick up his date, Peggy Sue. Harold's a pretty hip guy with his own car and a duck tail hairdo. 

When he goes to the front door, Peggy Sue's mother answers and invites him in. 

"Peggy Sue's not ready yet, so why don't you have a seat?" Peggy Sue's 
mother asks Harold what they're planning to do. 

Harold replies politely that they will probably just go to the malt shop or to a drive-in movie. 

Peggy Sue's mother responds, "Why don't you kids go out and screw? I hear all the kids are doing it." 

Naturally this comes as quite a surprise to Harold and he says, "Whaaaat?" 

"Yes," says Peggy Sues mother, "We know Peggy Sue really likes to screw; why, she'd screw all night if we let her!" 

Harold's eyes light up and he smiles from ear to ear. Immediately, he has revised the plans for the evening. 

A few minutes later, Peggy Sue comes downstairs in her little poodle skirt with her saddle shoes, and announces that she's ready to go. 

Almost with breathless anticipation, Harold escorts his date out the front door while Mom is saying, "Have a good evening kids," with a small wink for Harold.

About 20 minutes later, a thoroughly disheveled Peggy Sue rushes back into the house, slams the door behind her and screams at her mother: 

"Dammit, Mom! It's the Twist! It's called The Twist!"

Why the Russian invasion is so horrible

According to sources, Russia invaded the Ukraine with as many as 150,000 troops. The Russians crossed the border at multiple points. The world is appalled. Sanctions have been put on Russia. Americans are cheering the stiff resistance put for by the citizens of the sovereign nation of Ukraine.

The Biden Administration has allowed over one million illegals to enter the country in 2022. Those who oppose this invasion are called domestic terrorists by the President. 

I doubt further commentary on my part is necessary.

Breaking Memories

So yesterday my daughter took my wife to brunch for Mother’s Day. I got to tag along because. We went to a locally owned place in the county seat. After breakfast we walked around the square looking into shops and stores. 

Getty images

We wandered into an antique store and my daughter was looking at the Depression Glass. My mom had a nice collection of the stuff and my daughter has it now. 

My daughter was looking at a candy dish with a lid. She said she had that bowl, but hers didn’t have a lid. In that moment I had a memory I had completely forgotten. It was teenage me, all awkward and bumbling, bouncing off a coffee table, knocking off the green candy dish. And breaking the lid. I could suddenly remember just how angry my mom was with me.

“Well”, I told my daughter, “it used to have a lid”...

Happy Happy

 Best wishes for a happy Mothers Day to all you moms out there.

I miss you Mom

Crossroads, seem to come and go

I had a long political rant written and scheduled to publish this morning. I pushed it back to draft status. It isn’t that I don’t firmly believe what I have opined — I do. It is just the vitriol doesn’t settle this morning. 

I’m not sure why I persist with this blog. And no, that isn’t a plea for “I like your blog” comments. Don’t bother. It has never been more than self-aggrandizing navel gazing. We are all comfortable with that. I will readily admit my lack of effort shows. The truth is any more I would rather read the news than comment upon it. There you have it.

Released in February 1972 the Allman Brothers fourth album was a double LP consisting of live and studio recordings. The album was recorded with tracks including the late Duane Allman and some without following his death in October 1971. 

Melissa was actually written in 1967 by Gregg Allman, according to Wikipedia, and everything in Wikipedia is true. The song was included on the album as a tribute to his brother Duane, who said he thought it was Gregg’s best song.

I don’t know about that, but it is a great tune:

You are Welcome

Here I was, all set to write a post about the Battle of Puebla and a minor Mexican Holiday. You know the anniversary better as Cinco de Mayo. I started the research, wrote a few sentences and found myself...bored. If I find it boring, I know you will. So instead of writing about a major battle in a minor war in a foreign country, I will give you a dirty joke instead. And it is a dirty joke. Don't read further if you are easily offended. Most people who identify as a woman will be offended. Some men will be too.

I warned you. I do not want to see any “that’s gross, that’s offensive, you are a pig, top hats look stupid without tails” type comments.  Just do yourself a favor and stop here.

One evening a man was at home watching TV and eating peanuts.

He’d toss them in the air, and then catch them in his mouth In the middle of catching one, his wife asked him a question – and as he turned to answer her, a peanut fell in his ear.

He tried and tried to dig it out but succeeded in only pushing it in deeper.

He called his wife for assistance and after hours of trying they became worried and decided to go to the hospital.

As they were ready to go out the door, their daughter came homewith her date.

After being informed of the problem, their daughter’s date said he could get the peanut out..

The young man told the father to sit down, then proceeded to shove two fingers up the father’s nose and told him to blowhard.

When the father blew, the peanut flew out of his ear.

The mother and daughter jumped and yelled for joy.

The young man insisted that it was nothing.

Once he was gone, the mother turned to the father and said,

‘That’s so wonderful! Isn’t he smart? What do you think he’s going to be when he grows up?’

The father replied,

‘From the smell of his fingers, our son-in-law.

Star Wars Day

It is May 4 and that means it is the youngest granddaughter’s third birthday. She is most exited. She has asked for spaghetti for dinner, so her mom and dad are taking us all out for an Italian dinner tonight. 

In the meantime, I made a batch of Doughboy cinnamon rolls for breakfast and I think the wife is taking her to DQ for lunch. Unfortunately, I have a conference call so no Blizzard for me. 

She cracked me up yesterday. As she was heading upstairs, she turned around and sat on the step, then leveraged herself up to the next one. “What are you doing?” Asked my wife. 

“I’m being like Paw!” She happily exclaimed, crawling up the stairs like I did for months last year. I can’t believe she remembers that. 

I don’t know how we would have made it through the past couple of years without that little girl and her sister. Two happier girls never existed. I hope they stay that way.

Hyperbole Much

Just to cut through the hysteria over a possible Supreme Court ruling that will get rid of Roe v Wade, I want to point out that all abortion WILL NOT BE OUTLAWED. 

If the majority of voters in your state elect representatives that favor abortion, people in your state can kill babies as they see fit with whatever restrictions your legislators decide. 

Anyone who says otherwise is a liar. There is no alternative position. 

Look, my position on abortion has changed over the years. I’m personally very against it. Ultimately, I posit the decision is between you and your god or your conscious. 

I am more than a little disturbed by those who cheer for abortion, and react with glee when ultimately, a life is taken with by the procedure.  I guess I can accept it as a necessary evil. I find it hard to believe anyone can be thrilled they had it done. I will also say there is nothing sadder than an unwanted and mistreated child. 

And finally, in the interest of truth, can we just skip the lie it is “healthcare”? It is ending a pregnancy. That’s all. 

More: to those gnashing their teeth that overturning Roe would “upend decades of precedent”, didn’t Roe upend a century of precedent? Besides, that’s a silly argument. Brown v The Topeka Board of Education upended precedent too. Dred  Scott established precedent. Precedent is only an issue when the rule goes against your beliefs. 

Quick, get me a beer

A man came home from work, sat down in his favourite chair, turned on the TV, and said to

his wife, “Quick, bring me a beer before it starts.”

His wife looked a little puzzled but brought him a beer.

When he finished it, he said, “Quick, bring me another beer. It’s gonna start.”

This time she looked a little angry, but brought him a beer.

When it was gone, he said, “Quick, another beer before it starts.”

“That’s it!” She blows her top, “You bastard! You waltz in here, flop your fat ass down, don’t even say hello to me and then expect me to run around like your slave. Don’t you realize that I cook and clean and wash and iron all day long?”

The husband sighed.

“It’s started.” 

  

Locked up by the Ministry of Truth

I guess at some point I will have to decide if I want to keep blogging nonsense like the previous post, or wait until I’m shut down by our new Ministry of Truth. 

If I disappear, you will know what happened.

The same people who have created this new Big Brother department  are the very folks who claim people who believe like me are “threats to democracy “. 

You can cut the irony with a knife.

Why the Republicans aren’t moving immediately to make sure this terrible idea has ZERO funding escapes me. Make every Democrat stand up and publicly tell us why censorship and destroying the First Amendment is a good idea. I cannot write this enough: the First Amendment exists to protect the stuff we find most offensive. Why won’t the elected officials fight this government abuse right now? Nip it in the bud. The entire concept is chilling, scary, and an anathema to the very underlying concepts laid down by our Forefathers. 

I’m not surprised by the tepid response of our elected officials. Not really. All politicians want to control us. 

Makes me sick.

I am easily amused

 

Attention-Grabbing Title

Yesterday passed without much activity to note. In the morning I drank coffee and...IDK. I guess I read, watched TV, and perused your blogs. The wife went to a craft show. In the afternoon the youngest granddaughter came to hangout while her older sister went to a Tai Kwan Do competition. Afterward, we went with the girls to dinner. The SIL is out of town. 

After dinner the wife and I went to a movie for the first time in about 200 years. Going to the movies has always been one of the things we really enjoy doing together. Most of our earliest dates involved the theater and our passion for cinema never waned. Unfortunately, today’s movie offerings seem to lean heavily on comic book characters, a genre neither of us really enjoys. 

I saw the local cinema is having a special showing of The Wizard of Oz next weekend. I’ve seen the classic Judy Garland vehicle more times than I can count on my fingers, toes, ears, and nose combined, but I have never seen it on the big screen. It might be worth the ticket price to experience it. Plus warm popcorn...

On the way to the movies we heard the sad news Naomi Judd passed away. No doubt the daughter was the more talented, but Mom had an angelic voice and her harmonies were always just perfect. Pretty dang easy on the eyes too.