Do you prefer pig snout or scrambled duck brain?

Jinshan temple

When you read this, provided you are not up in the middle of the night surfing the interwebz, I will still be here.  Despite the time stamp on the post, it is pushing four in the afternoon as I hunt and peck at the laptop keyboard.  I am still here, but not for long. I head home tomorrow and I am more than ready. I like Chinese food, but I am jonesing for a good old American cheeseburger.

Last night at dinner I grabbed a skewer of...meat...I took a bite and I must have made a face, because it tasted terrible. My host look at me and said "You do not like duck stomach?".

Why no, I do not. I also do not like sheep intestines, chicken feet, bullfrog, nor pig tongue. If I never lay eyes on tofu again I can live with that. To break things up, we are having Korean food tonight.  I wish I could skip tonight's dinner with my colleagues, go to the Burger King down the street and grab something, but they would be appalled and ashamed if they did not entertain me. They would never leave a guest to fend for himself.

In all, it has been an enjoyable trip, albeit too long. I saw some cool stuff. Like the temple above. I saw some funny stuff. Take this for example:

I am pretty sure that does not mean what they think it does

Embiggen both or either picture if you desire. Or not.

I am done working for the day. I will be picked up in a few hours.  In the meantime, I am tempted to hit the minibar. Instead, I might take a nap. I need to get my body adjusted back thirteen hours.  I will likely recover around Saturday.

Right here in this post you get a slight glimpse of the good and bad side of travel -- especially International travel.

There is some music you have to hear before you die

This is one of those songs.

the eleventh day of the eleventh month...

The leaps and bounds and hoop-jumping I must  perform just to read certain interwebby things, not to mention even post these words here in Red China, reminds me of how much we Americans take our freedoms for granted.

That freedom, while God-given, has only been protected at a steep price in blood and vigilance. Our men and women in the armed services have served to guarantee we have freedom enjoyed by few people in history. 

Thank you for your days and nights away from loved ones, your service, your sacrifice.

Stuff that cracks me up

Here is a definition of irony: I visited a small museum dedicated to Chairman Mao.

They were selling souvenirs.

Nothing like using the very definition of Communism in a capitalist venture.

It appears Trump is on a similar travel schedule

I am in sync with the President's travel schedule in that we are both in China.  China is a big place, so that is like saying we share space in the US. I was here first this week. I wasn't doing Secret Service advance scouting. In fact, I am a long way from the Forbidden City where the Trumpster met with the big Poobah from China. I will still be here after the President makes his escape.  I suspect his travel arrangements are just a bit more comfortable than mine. The taxpayers are not funding my travel, perhaps that is the difference.

Speaking of escape, I have been informed my plans have changed. I have been "volunteered" to stay into next week so I can carry some urgent samples back by hand. Unfortunately they will not be finished until early next week. What is an extra few days from home when I have already been gone a week?

Hmm, my sarcasm font seems to be inoperable.

On the bright side, I will get to do some sight-seeing over the weekend, so that is cool.  I was told the original plan was to take me to see the large temple complex near Hangzhou. I ruined plan that when I told my hosts I was there a few years ago. You remember. If not, look it up. You can find pictures in the archives. You should try and keep up. In any case, I am sure whatever we see, it will be interesting. My hosts have been very accommodating.  That is not sarcasm.

There is some additional good news, I have increased my Mandarin vocabulary by 30%. I now know three words. Look at me, trying hard not to be the ugly American.

I thought I had adjusted pretty well to the 13 hour time difference. Then came last night. I fell asleep early, woke up after 4-5 hours and then slept in fits.  I am up early now. That means I have time to type this drivel. Lucky you.

I guess we are all the beneficiaries of good fortune. BTW, that is more of that elusive sarcasm font.


Enjoy your Friday, Thursday whatever.

A post written tomorrow for your enjoyment today.

I have not seen much on this trip to the Far East: hotel, car, plant, car, hotel. Rinse and repeat.

I have eaten some good food and some not-so-good. Chicken feet, not so good. Beef tongue, tolerable. I still cannot mange chopsticks. My hosts have given up on me in that regard.

I forgot Google is verboten in Red China. So is my personal gmail account. I have gone through leaps and bounds to post this quick note since Blogger is Google too. I am sneaking in through my company's VPN.  I expect the authorities to burst into my hotel room and any moment and drag me off to be squashed by a tank in Tienanmen Square.

Actually the visit is fine, I am finally getting adjusted to the time difference.

Not that you care.

I will say this.  I don't watch CNN at home. That is pretty much the only English channel available here in Zhenjiang. The programming is all Russia/Trump 24-7. I mean the theme of every single story. There is such an anti-Trump bias it is palpable.

Enjoy your week. And yes, this post was written tomorrow due to the international date line and all of that time zone stuff.

Lucky you

I said I probably wouldn’t post. I lied. Total complete boredom compels me to electronically scribble a note to you.

“How’s that?” , you ask. I’m here in Canukistan on a long layover. I have free WiFi. I’ve been here since just before eight AM. My next flight leaves at 1320 for those of you who can tell military time. That means I have — lemme pull out my fingers and count — a bunch of free time. Then, my boredom unsated, I get to climb into another flying tube of aluminum and fly west for 15 hours or so. Yay, me. Then I get to ride in a car for three or four hours. My total trip will be pushing 30 hours from the time I left home. Say it with me “Boy, Joe, I wish I had your job, traveling to those cool places”.

I said say it.

Since I am parked in the international terminal the loudspeaker is blaring in multiple languages. Since it is Canada, everything is in English and Surrender Frog. Gotta keep those Québécois happy. Of course, hypocrite I am, I will need all announcements in China to be in a English. It is my right as an American. Everyone knows that. Catering to me is completely different. I think that is called irony, and it has nothing to do with wrinkled shirts.

Security took forever this morning. There were only two lines open: one for TSA Pre, one for the rest of us schmucks. I got there just in time, after I moved into the queue, the line stretched almost back to the central airport lobby. You would have thought a few of the 15 or 20 TSA types standing around talking about last night’s episode of Last Housewives or something could have fired up another x-ray machine, but that is just thinking crazy. One Agent told folks in the back of the line there were six lanes open in the B Terminal with no waiting. He said they could go over there. I just wondered why they didn’t bring some of those  superfluous TSA agents over to the A Terminal and open up another lane? Silly me.

I’m giving serious thought to lying down on the dirty floor and taking a snooze. I’m afraid I will sleep right through my flight. I could set an alarm, but mostly I’m just all talk. Besides, I need to sleep over on the plane. I have to get my body clock shifted 12 hours.

Enough bitching. How’s your weekend going?

Uninspiration

Yeah, I am lacking. I haven’t posted for a couple of days. I’ve really got nothing to say.

I know.

I could whine and complain, but you don’t care.  Who wants to read that stuff?

Baseball is done. Hurry up February. The Colts suck and things won’t get better soon. I don’t like basketball. Politicians of both parties should suffer painful crotch fires (That should no way be considered a threat, rather a metaphor for my general disgust).

You have weather. I have weather. They may or may not be similar.

That about covers my normal topics. Feel free to insert your own adventure.

Oh, posting will be sporadic at best for the next week or so. You will survive. Sometimes I can some posts when I know I will not be able to get here daily. Occasionally I throw up a rerun. Not this time.

Have a great weekend. I made other plans.

Bitch set me up

Lee, Washington, Jefferson, Grant, Lincoln - no monuments for you. Your lives and beliefs make us squirmy and squishy, and remind us of old unpleasant times and besides you were white. Spit.

A crack-head corrupt former mayor — You deserve a statue.



Edit: This is the best thing you will read on the whole “get rid of history” movement

I have a little wooden replica cigar store Indian I call Charley

It is spitting snow this morning. What happened to those beautiful fall days we didn’t have? I blame it on climate change. I am certain we are all gonna die. Really. All of us.

We had four (4) trick-or-treaters last night: two pairs. The wife bought three bags of candy and a box of little bags of cheese balls. I told her to buy one package of six full-sized Snickers or Reese’s.  The four kids last night makes a total of less than 20 visitors on Halloween since we moved here in 2013. I don’t know what made my wife believe this year would be different.

Now I have to fight the temptation to grab a Milk Dud or Almond Joy or little chocolate bar every time I shuffle through the kitchen. Yeah, I am about as likely to ignore that giant bowl of candy right next to the Keurig as I am to not look at her nekkid boobies when she takes off her shirt. I think she is secretly trying to kill me. She bakes cookies and cakes every week. A few Sundays ago I was shooting diabetic meds into my gut while she was baking cupcakes.

It is hump day. You already know that. Couple keen insights like identifying the day of the week with a weather report that has no relevance to you and you can see why this blog has an audience of fourteen. Insty has nothing on this collection of musings.

How about a couple of political thoughts?

Suddenly, Democrats have a big issue with draft dodgers. They are outraged by Trump’s bone spurs. They were so upset that Bush served in the National Guard they made up stuff. But when it comes to Democrat military service (I’m looking at you Bill Clinton) there is nothing to see here folks, just move along.

If I spent my time cataloging liberal hypocrisy I would get nothing else accomplished.

As far as I can tell, a guy did lobbying for the Ukraine, didn’t fill out the proper forms, banked a bunch of money for doing the work, lied about it and now that proves Trump did something with the Russians and therefore cheated Hillary out of getting a chance to sell nights in the Lincoln Bedroom for outrageous amounts of cash. Does that cover it or am I missing not just the smoking gun, but the evidence anyone brought a .45 to the meeting to start with?

A dude murdered a bunch of people with a truck in New York. He was from a majority Muslim country, shouted “Allah Akbar” , and had ISIS materials in the truck. Police are not sure if it was a terrorist attack.

I think that about covers the world as I see it for today.

In the spirit of the season

I intend to dress up like a guy who does not wear a Halloween costume tonight when I pass out candy to the three Trick-or-treaters we expect this evening. In other words I will be sporting jeans and T-shirt.

I was born a ramblin’ man

Yesterday’s poor me post got me to thinking about travel. Not so long ago I was doing some calculations. Windshield time is good thinking time. Based on various company car odometers I know I have driven in excess of one million miles. I estimate I am getting close to 800 airplane trips. I wish I had kept exact track back when I started traveling. I know my first business trip via plane was to Albany, NY in the late 1980s.

Somewhere In the archives  there is a list of airports I have flown to, through, and from. I have added a few since, so the number is probably 50 or 60?

I have more nights in a hotel room than a $5 hooker. I’ve been a Hilton diamond member for a decade, and top tier frequent stayer in other chains before that. Let’s say I stayed an average of 30 nights a year, I know that is low, that would be more than 700 nights in a strange bed since 1993. That is a bunch of hotel points!

I used to highlight in my atlas every city I hit on a business trip. The atlas wore out. I have been to 45 states, not all on business, but most. I have been to 14 different countries, at least 10 of those were for business.

I know business people who make my travels seem insignificant. I have a buddy who is a true road warrior. He is gone Monday through Thursday or Friday every single week. I know folks who have taken foreign assignments. I know a few international players who go overseas every month. There are guys who travel the highways every day, but still get home every night. They are definitely traveling men. Those who work in the airline industry or even some in the military laugh at my minuscule record of my excursions. I do think I have been out and about more than your average bear.

 I don’t travel like I used to. I don’t want to fly 120 legs a year. I don’t want to log 70,000 miles a year behind the wheel of a sedan. But I have. It is what makes me, well me. Besides, it has provided a wealth of blog fodder, even if my rambling tales and travelogues are the soporific you need before bed.

Get up there Sal, we’ve passed that lock...

Here we are on a downright cold Sunday morning. It is overcast and still dark at 7:41 AM as I hunt and peck at the little iPad keyboard. If it dries out, I have some outside stuff to do. I need to put the hose away for the winter, dismantle the swing, and clean up debris from the big willow. Nothing hard, nor too time consuming. I should rip up the tomato plants from the garden. Summer lingered well into fall, and we went from the 80s to the 40s in a hurry. Now all of those chores need doing.

Why the urgency, you ask? I’m off to the Far East next weekend. I offer a lower-case “woot” to express my lack of excitement. Back in 2013 when I went to China the trip was way better than I expected. Perhaps that will be true this time as well. If I am honest, it is the trip itself that sucks. Usually, my favorite part of traveling is the “getting there”. Twenty hours-plus on various planes, trains, and automobiles is no fun. I was thinking about it yesterday, it was more than fifteen years ago when I did a lot of international travel (is going to Europe 5-6 times a year a “lot”?). Not that I am ready for a bed in a nursing home, but hard travel at 40 is different than travel at 55. I don’t know how to explain it, but business travel is not vacation travel. You have to adjust to the time ASAP, meetings and work start right away. There is no relaxing ramp-up to get used to your surroundings. Colleagues want to make sure you are entertained, so long days end with late dinners, followed by yet another early morning.

It sounds like I’m gripping, and I am. I also recognize I have been fortunate enough to go all over the world on an expense account. That is indeed, pretty cool. Short of the military, I have travelled more than most people. I have seen stuff most people dream about. I have walked the Great Wall, seen the Louvre, the British Museum. I touched the Rosetta Stone. I have visited cathedrals and castles. I also put in 15-18 hour days for a week at a time and spent more days than I can count away from my wife and kids. International travel most always extends over a weekend. Or two.

 I would leave in an instant for a vacation trip to just about anywhere. Traveling around the globe to work; meh. It is hard to explain to anyone who has never had to do much business travel. In my heart, I know the trip will be fine.

 I just wish I could get the hang of chopsticks.

I came upon a child of God...

I went to the doctor this morning. He was moderately happy. My blood sugars are still too high, but overall my A1c has dropped down to 7.8. Not where I want it, but reduced 30% from just a month ago. If the wife would keep from making pies and cake and cookies in the evening it would help. I suppose some would argue it is my own fault for eating said bad stuff. That is crazy talk, every bad thing in life is someone else’s fault. She is lording her sugar privilege over me. I need a safe space, preferably one with a comfy recliner, large TV, cold beer, and cigar smoking.

One side effect of the various meds is my weight is good. I weigh less today than I did when I got married. In fact,  I weigh pretty much what I did upon high school graduation way back in 1980. Last week I hit what has to be a 30 year low. My weight is down nearly 60 pounds from when I started this blog. Maybe I need to change the web address?

I have regretted the blog domain Fat in Indiana since about a year into this exercise in navel gazing. What a stupid name. Unfortunately, I have never been able to think up something really clever, and starting over is just too much effort. Besides, there is 137 years of genius captured in the archives of this blog.

I finished the Ken Burns Vietnam documentary last weekend. It started fairly even-handed, but took a decided anti-war turn in the final few episodes. Nixon evokes a powerful hate among the leftist types. I was somewhat disappointed to find that a majority of the vets interviewed throughout the series ended up as anti-war protesters. They were part of the bunch who chucked their medals over the Capital fence and rooted for John Kerry in his “I saw war crimes” testimony before Congress. I suppose their later political position does not color their impression and war experience, but I cannot help feeling there must be some bias there and I question the whole series based on that.

Oh, well, I’m sure no one at PBS cares what I think. Why would they?

Have a great day.

About the blog

I’m still here. Breathing and thinking;  everything a sentient human ought to do. Except writing stuff here. That, I’m not doing. Well, except I am. The fact you are reading this is proof. I haven’t, -written, that is - for a few days.  Confused? Me too. 

There was a layer of frost on the pumpkins this morning. There was frost on the grass as well. I suspect that cold snap will kick-start the trees into fall mode. The leaves on most of my trees are decidedly green.  

I could fill the next couple of paragraphs with complaints. You are not interested. Rest easy, I won’t go down that path. 

I haven’t watched any baseball, but I wish I would have last night. It sounds like a contest for the ages. Oh, well. I won’t lose sleep over it. 

The granddaughter is spending the night. That is good. 

Look, I have just served up ample proof my life is boring, I have nothing to say, and my apathy level as regards the old blog is pretty high. You have shown a remarkable disdain for repeats. 

What do you want for nothing?

All the right moves

I pulled my T-shirt down over my sweaty back and surveyed the lawn. The grass was cut in nice straight strips. The trimming had been done around the numerous flower beds, ornamental bushes, trees and the house and patio. And this was in the prehistoric days before weed eaters and electric trimmers. I had trimmed the entire yard with those old scissor-type trimmers. Grandma asked me if I wanted to come in for a game of cribbage, but I told her I had to get home and clean up. I had a date. She said I could have a Coke, so I went down to the basement where she kept the soft drinks. It took just two long drinks to drain the little six ounce bottle.

Why does Coke taste so much better in little bottles?

When I came back upstairs Grandma handed me a bunch of cut daisies.

Some money would be nice.

She said they were for my date. I told her kids did not do that stuff anymore, but she said the girl would love it.

The girl met me at the door and gave me a wooden look when I held out the flowers. I told her they were for her and they smelled good. She stuck her face into the bouquet then handed them to her mother to put into water. We left for the movies.

Time to execute, initiate the set up. 

As we walked through the parking lot I stretched first my right arm then my left over my head. I repeated the motion in the ticket line. I explained I had been 'landscaping' all day and my arms were stiff. 

Oh yeah 

We took our seats for the movie and I held her hand during the previews. 

Take it slow HB. 

A few minutes into the movie I stretched the arms again, this time I slipped my left arm around her shoulder. 

Oh yes, you are smooth. Now the tricky part, take it slow and she will never know what is going on

She leaned against me. She turned to me and smiled. I gave her my best 'make her melt look'.

I slowly let my hand drop down and brush her breast. When there was no response, I repeated. 

Yes, yes, yes, she does not even know what I am doing! 

I let my hand rest on her booby. I began to gently massage. 

Go, go, go, yes!

I felt her breathe deep. I squeezed gently. I kissed the back of her neck. She began to breathe a little deeper. I rubbed against the nipple, I think it was getting hard. She began to breathe rapidly. She was almost panting.

Holy cow, she was getting hot

She whispered something, she was out of breath. "What?" I said.

"Stop" she moaned a little louder. I pretended not to hear. 

No no no no no

She brushed away my arm and hissed "Quit, let go". 

"I thought you were getting excited" I whispered into her ear.

"No, I am allergic to flowers, I can't breathe -- I need my inhaler."

A repeat from May 2007. Still a classic.

Rinse and repeat

Outside it is the same as yesterday — cold, gloomy. It is perfectly seasonable. It is not raining, though. Perfect weather for a pot of chili or soup. Also for sentence fragments and punctuation errors.

I have to confess, as much as I like baseball, I have no interest in this year’s World Series.

I have no interest in the politics of the day, either.

We covered the weather. We hit on sports. We touched on politics. What else is there? I am reading an account of the Alamo by Walter Lord.  I’m barely into it. I enjoyed his account of the Battle of Midway, I read it as a teen, and his writing of history is remarkably readable.

That’s it for today, I’m off to work.

Yawn

It is a rainy, dreary Monday here at the old homestead. Cool to downright cold temperatures are expected throughout the week. The recent spate of warm weather coupled with a bit of rain has my tomato plants confused. A bunch of blooms have formed that will never bear fruit once it drops below 30 next weekend. I have a couple of dozen green tomatoes that are ripening slowly in the weaker fall sunshine. I will try to pick them and either fry them up (my wife doesn’t like them fixed that way) or let them ripen in the window.

It was an uneventful weekend. We babysat Friday evening. Saturday we visited some friends and played euchre. Sunday I mowed the yard and watched some very bad football.  I am sure you are bored just reading about it.

I did paint the mailbox post to the approved neighborhood color. It has been the wrong color for at least the four years we have lived here. I got a note from the HOA last spring and ignored it. My neighbor said he had some paint left over if I wanted it. So making things right cost me about 15 minutes of my time and the water to wash out the brush. I am now right with the the autocrats.

Hmmm

More thoughts on my previous post:

Instead of focusing on who said what to whom, the media should be asking what were US service men doing in Niger anyway?

Head shaking sadness

Dead soldiers deserve more than to be mere pawns in a he said/she said political war.

Happy dance

Friday! This has been one very long week. I will be ecstatic come five o'clock, but I am giddy as a fly on a dog turd this morning.

Yeah, I know the Cubbies lost. Down at one point 3-0 in the series with the Dodgers, it was inevitable. I stated at the start of the playoffs I did not think Chicago could get past LA. You can't win it all every year. I didn't think it would be that ugly though.

I finally got the money my old employer has owed me since February. It is not a lot of cash, about a normal bi-weekly paycheck, but welcome as a drink of cool water in the desert. Too bad it is earmarked for bills. The tiny bit extra? Well, the wife dropped her phone yesterday and cracked the screen into a spiderweb of destruction. Sigh.

I did get a $10 credit from Amazon for the e-book price fixing settlement. Free books!

I'm off to work, enjoy your Friday.

Dear NFL

You are the National Football League, not the National Reform the Criminal Justice System League. Not the Equal Pay League. Not the Hands Up Don't Shoot League. I guess you just don't get it. We want you to provide needlessly violent sporting events for our entertainment. If I want politics, I will tune into the Sunday Talking Heads political shows that air on TV before your Sunday games.

If that means no more pink shoes and sweat bands during your cancer awareness weeks, I can live with that. I think we are all aware cancer sucks anyway. If the athletes that play your game want to do community activism, good for them. They can do it on other days of the week. I don't participate in my pet causes at work, and the players shouldn't either.

Just like the stupid anchor on ESPN who advocated a boycott of NFL sponsors, you are destroying the source of your income. The NFL cannot live on ticket sales. Focus on football, it is your core mission. Anything else is a waste of time, money, and energy.

Stuff I think about

Why is it the only people in America without an ubiquitous cell phone poised to capture every moment in pictures and video are the people who regularly have encounters with space aliens and Big Foot-like creatures?

Going to bed angry and disappointed

I know you don't care about baseball. That is OK.

The Cubs are down 3-0. There is no way they can come back from that deficit.

No matter how bad the bullpen or the Skipper's head scratching decisions, if the Cubs cannot score runs they will not win.

The idea we could see a Dodgers/Yankees World Series leaves me wanting to puke. I would even root for the Cardinals over the Dodgers, and I would root for just about anyone playing the Yankees.

Words to live by

Thomas Payne’s once wrote:

“You will do me the justice to remember, that I have always strenuously supported the Right of every Man to his own opinion, however different that opinion might be to mine. He who denies to another this right, makes a slave of himself to his present opinion, because he precludes himself the right of changing it.”

That pretty much sums it up.

A whole post devoted to stuff you do not care about

Almost all of my children came to dinner last night. My middle one is living in Colorado, so dropping by for some lasagna was not really an option. Other than his vacant chair (figuratively), we had a great time. It was nice to all be together, reminiscent of the great summer crowded house adventure *.

It seems none of my favorite sports teams can manage to play in the second half of a game. The Cubs have choked away opportunity after the fifth inning in the past two games. The Cots presented us with another horrible second half performance, par for the season so far. I'm not sure getting the star QB back will change anything. Tennessee managed to score on every possession but one, that one a lucky pick six by a Colts linebacker. Other than that errant play, the Titans scored on every other possession. I'm not sure if you created a hybrid Manning-Montana-Brady quarterback clone he could overcome a defense that gives up 30+ points a game, mostly in the late 3rd and 4th quarters. Sheesh.

I said at the beginning of he season the Colts would win five games. I am not sure that was correct. They have won two. I don't think there is anyone else on the schedule they can defeat. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

  Go forth and prosper on this beautiful fall Tuesday.




*check the archives, but you really outta be reading every day

Conclusions

Here we are on a chilly fall Monday. Naming the weekend unremarkable is an understatement. I mowed the lawn Saturday. Yesterday was wet and gloomy. I think it is clear that my choice in shirts has nothing to do with the performance of my sporting team. Who knew?

Looking in the mirror yesterday while shaving I came to another conclusion; at 35 I looked 25. At 55 I look 65. Stuff always averages out in life. And yes, I was still getting carded at the beer store when I was in my mid-thirties. I always looked young in my youth. I paid kid prices at the movies until I got caught. The same clerk sold me a "child" ticket on Friday and remembered me when I wanted to see an "R" movie on Saturday. I was old enough for the adult movie, but my days of cheap kiddie tickets were over. I bought a senior ticket the last time we went to the cinema, even though it said you had to be 60. I'm not into Senior discounts, except the movie theater is so darn expensive.

Enough empty rambling. Have a good Monday.

Dear California

I thought you were going to take your ball and go home in a fit of secession fever? You don't want the evil US of A telling you what to do on immigration and stuff. The very notion the rest of us ignorant flyover country rubes ignored your wishes and elected the Trumpster was just too much.

Now you want Trump to send you money and help because you managed to fall asleep while smoking and set the place on fire?  Isn't it strange how those icky red staters are willing to help? A whole bunch of nasty Republicans control the money spigot.

Keep in mind Uncle Sam will not be sending any "sorry about your big fire" baskets of goodies after you secede.

The Chicago Cubs are Trying to Kill Me

Come on, other than last year's Game 7 has there been a crazier elimination game? I have no idea who will pitch Saturday, but the Cubs pulled out a miracle. It looked for a while like neither team wanted to win. It's like the pitchers from both teams said " we carried you this far, now let someone else do it". We saw It all, balls hurled to the backstop like a Little League game. Catchers throwing the ball into right field -- again shades of 9 year-old baseball. Walks, hit batters, dropped fly balls.  It was ugly and exciting and nearly killed me.

Now I'm struggling to get to work. Getting to bed after 1:00 in the aye em does not make for a productive day at work. Thank goodness it is Friday.

How about that post yesterday? It had it all, just like the good old days: pictures, links, the works. Don't get used to it. I'm back hunting and pecking on my crappy, outdated iPad once more this morning. Enjoy your Friday and if you see me slumped at my desk, please wake me up when it is quitting time.

Speaking of quitting time, wouldn't it be cool to slide down a brontosaurus at the end of the day like Fred Flintstone?

Trustworthy, Loyal, Helpful, Cynical...

I am an Eagle Scout, a Firecrafter, OA, the works. I was a Boy Scout until I was 18, holding every leadership position possible in the organization. After college I started out helping a local troop as a merit badge counselor. That role quickly morphed into Assistant Scoutmaster. The boys loved a young twenty-something leader that was a bridge between the "dads" and themselves. I was closer in age to the boys and could relate with them better in a lot of ways.

After a couple of years I was approached by the professional Scouting types about becoming one of them. I interviewed at a couple of councils, was offered a couple of jobs. The only problem is I figured it out by the second offer. The Boys Scouts of America didn't really care about the boys, "scouting" was ancillary. They were interested in numbers; sign up more boys, raise more money. The program was a means to an end, not the driver of the organization. I said no thanks.

Suddenly, the move of Boy Scouts in the seventies to a more urban-centric program made sense. The camping, hiking, knot-tying culture of Baden Powell depicted in traditional  scouting (See the Disney flick "Follow Me Boys") appealed to rural boys. The population centers were in the cities, places without fields and campgrounds. The sixties were hard on the Boy Scouts, they needed more members. Thus the change to more urban-themed programs. To get my hiking merit badge I had to do a "city hike" ? I had to march up and down every street in my little town to get in the requisite miles.

I am not astonished the Boy Scouts of America is inviting girls into the ranks. My only surprise is that it didn't happen earlier. They let women become scoutmasters decades ago. The constant pressure from the LGBT community and cut-off from corporate funding and access to public accommodations resulted in changing the rules a few years ago. This new announcement was just another step to remain viable in the modern age where camping, cooking, and hiking in the woods has less appeal to modern teenagers. Why march around when you can play a cool video game?  Heck, neither of my sons joined the Boy Scouts, only one was even a Cub Scout.

To be honest, nerdy perpetually horny 16 year-old me would have loved a couple of chicks in the tent next to me at summer camp. "Let's go for a hike in the woods, Baby". I was taught four ways to start a fire without matches, maybe now they will teach coed scouts three ways to have sex in the woods without getting preggers. Identifying poison ivy is probably still a valuable skill, though.

Up on the North Side

The Cubbies were rained out yesterday. They resume their battle with the Nationals late this afternoon. I'm off on a little jaunt to visit a local customer this morning and I scheduled myself for a sales training webinar this afternoon. I do not anticipate either event will interfere with me getting my baseball fix. Yes, I intend to knock off work a little early. Don't tell my boss.

I am so happy to see my favorite team competitive and winning. Just a few years ago I remember watching and listening to the Cubs losing as a regular course 90 and 100 games in a season. Now they win that many!

I can't help myself, I fully expect the worst in every playoff game. Every inning is torture as I anticipate the big breakdown. I drop into despair with every dropped ball, every bloop single by the other team. My wife gets sick of reassuring me all will be fine. A lifetime of disappointment will do that to you. When it comes to the Chicago Cubs one unimaginable wonderful season cannot erase a lifetime of "wait until next year".

Will they repeat as Champs this year? Probably not. Back-to-back World Series is hard and rare. Yet, I know I am a pessimist when it comes to my favorite sports team. Win one more against the Nationals and then we will see how the Northsiders do against the evil Dodgers.

They have to win today first.  Arrieta takes the bump. We know he will have one bad inning. He always does. The question is how much damage is done before he gets his location back. Will it be a few base runners, a lone homer? Will it be a big five or six run inning? We shall see. I know my emotions will bounce from happy to sad like ping pong ball.

They way it should be

Reasonable people can disagree. You can have a dialogue. We each present our position. There is no name calling. There are not insults and epithets tossed like hand grenades.

I knew my take on the Pence walkout would not be popular. That is OK. I gave my reasons. Most of you disagreed. We had a good discussion. That is how it should work. There was no mention of "tea baggers", no one was called a fascist.

Look, I disagree 100% with the kneelers. Anyone who does not think the movement is a protest against America did not listen to Kaepernick the day after he started this nonsense.

The NFL has let this tarnish their brand. Those who are angry at Cowboys owner Jerry Jones have it wrong. There is no free speech at work. When you are getting paid by the man, you follow his rules. You are on his time. You don't get to stage a sit-in at work, neither do athletes. Unless the owners let them. It is their company. They make the rules.

Anyway, thank you for he polite discussion. You gave me plenty to think about.

If you disagreed with me, you are wrong. 😎

But that is OK.

This position will not go over well

VP Pence's walked out of the Indianapolis Colts game after members of the 49ers knelt during the National Anthem. His actions were pure politics, obviously pre-planned and a waste of taxpayer monies. It was, in plain words, horse crap.

Of course players were going to kneel, the Veep knew it when he came to the game. San Francisco is the team where the protests started. Pence came to make a grandstanding political point. Nothing more. The fans of the Colts paid the price in extra security to get into the game and ultimately for the pane trip and security through taxes. You did too.

I'm no fan of the kneelers. I think they should choose a different venue to make their point. But I'm also not in favor of Pence's publicity stunt. My first take of the event was smug self satisfaction. Then I wondered what I would say if Obama or another lefty wasted my tax money like this? I would bitch and rant.

Pence injected politics into football. What he did was no different than what the kneelers are doing. I'm tired of it. Politics is intruding into every facet of life, is it too much to ask for three hours of entertainment free of political commentary and protest?

Yes, yes, I hear you. If the kneelers have a right to their free speech so do President Trump and Vice President Pence. They do. I just don't want them wasting a bunch of taxpayer money flying their family and crew across the country to make a political point. Pence upstaged a tribute to the Colts greatest player; Peyton Manning's  jersey was retired at halftime, and that upstaging is sad in itself. It demonstrates a level of egotism and assholery not previously exhibited by the VP.

I swear I'm convinced every elected official should get "it is not your money" branded on their forearm as a condition of taking office.

In the year 2055

A statue of Peyton Manning was placed outside the Colts stadium in Indianapolis yesterday. If ever there was an athlete that deserved to be honored in his city, number 18 is that guy, and not only for his feats on the gridiron.

I wonder if future us will look back years from now and see something else in that chunk of bronze? By then football will be banned as a brutal, nasty sport loved and viewed by craven right-wingers and Southeners. A sport just removed from gladiatorial contests of ancient Rome, a sport where men bashed their heads to the point of brain damage, where limbs and backs were broken, where injuries left the participants nearly crippled in old age. The statue will harken to a time civilized society would want to forget. The statue will remind many of the suffering of their grandfathers, the glorification of violence. Will future us see the statue as a representation of the corrupt NFL owners who blackmailed the public to finance their coloseums and practice facilities? Will that statue of old number 18 represent the fabulous wealth some players got at the expense of the balance of the roster? Will it be a symbol of the enormous amount of money colleges made from athletes who got little in comparison in return for their pain and sacrifice on the playing fields? Will future us wonder why a predominance of the rosters of this dangerous activity were minorities?

Will there be a movement to rip this statue down, to put it in a museum where "context" can be applied? Will it just be tossed into a park full of old broken statues like the one on Moscow that is littered with pieces of old Lenins and Stalins? Will we be ashamed of that statue of old number 18? Will there be clashes of old clingers in their faded football jerseys fighting modern soccer fans and their enlightened scoreless games, where fans and participants leave with self-esteem intact and bellies full of prepared slices of organic oranges? "Save the statue!". "Tear it down!".

Will future us be able to view history through a cloud of modern bias? Probably not. Don't worry, though. By the time that stadium is fifteen or twenty years old the owners of the Colts franchise will demand a new facility and the statue will be chucked right along with he perfectly good building it stands beside.

Bad attitude blogging

It is a crappy day. You don't want details. Let's just agree that it sucks for a Friday and leave it at that.

Mom always told me if I cannot say anything nice then I should not say anything at all.

Anything at all.*

Baseball playoff games that I actually care about start this evening. That is a good thing, so all is not lost.

I ran to the store at lunch. Walking back to my car I passed a woman in the parking lot talking on her phone under a large plaid umbrella.   It was not raining.

I don't feel too bad about this post, you actually got the content of two posts yesterday combined into one omnibus of genius and insightful commentary. You did, I don't care what you say.

I'm not going to post Friday music. You will get over it, if you even notice.

Enjoy your Friday


* there are so many negatives in the sentiment I am unsure if I wrote something smart-assed or not.  I intended to.

Is there a translator app for pig Latin?

Did you know Custer won the Medal of Honor? You know, the Custer who died at the Little Big Horn, who fought as a young man in the civil war? The Custer in the 7th Cavalry? Indeed, he won the nation's highest award for valor. Not the Custer you are thinking of, not George Armstrong Custer, but his little brother Tom. Honest, look it up. I would not lie about stuff like this.

Edit: in fact, he was the first to earn the Medal of Honor twice. 

The Senate is moving closer to speeding the process to get driverless cars to the market. Can I get a show of hands? Who wants a self-driving car? Isn't a vehicle where you are along for a ride just a bus? You know this is going to backfire. The auto manufacturers think this will open a whole new market and increase sales. Über and others envision a fleet of cars hovering around just waiting to drive you where you need to go, eliminating the family vehicle. The cost of paying for a ride will be cheaper than owning a car as you dispense with insurance, fuel, and paying for a depreciating chunk of steel and plastic sitting unused for hours at a time in your driveway and parking lots. If you insist on driving, dangerous human you, who makes bad decisions, will pay outrageous insurance rates. GM will scream wait, we did not intend for this to happen, but it will be too late. Unfortunately, I doubt I will be dead before all of this happens, so I can bore my granddaughter with tales of how I used to drive myself to school, in the snow, uphill.

I do not possess the vocabulary to adequately express my loathing of the idea of self-driving cars.

Snarking down the Highway

It is raining. I'm pretty sure no one predicted that. Maybe they did. I was in Chicagostan Monday and Tuesday so I might have missed it. I got home late in the evening and went to bed a couple of hours later, before the weather report came on the late night news.

I wish I had some interesting tales of travel to relate. It was an uneventful drive, a standard room in a cookie cutter hotel, an unremarkable burger for supper, a day of meetings at the corporate office and drive home. Ho hum. Ho hum. I did see a woman at the truck stop when I stopped to pay my coffee rental that was testing the stretch limits of her yoga pants. The only stretching she did in those britches was to reach for some more ice cream and Oreos. I could almost hear the nylon and rayon blend fibers screaming in pain like a heretic on the rack in Inquisition-era Spain. The flesh jiggling and bouncing in her rear end resembled a couple of raccoons fighting in a burlap bag.

I just read where a city in Georgia offered to change the name of their burg to "Amazon" if the retail giant agrees to move their headquarters there. I hope, if that comes to pass, the name change will have more relevance 50 years in the future than the morbid gambit Mauch Chunk, PA made when they offered cash and a city name change to the widow of Jim Thorpe if she allowed his remains to be buried in the town cemetery. How's that tourist attraction working out these days? "Kids, would you rather go to Disney World or Jim Thorpe?". Yeah.

Look it up, I wouldn't lead you astray.

I have to get to work. Enjoy your hump day.

About last night

Every day I'm reminded that man is an animal, the top predator, and one that kills just to kill. There is evil in this world.

A relentless tick, tick, tick

Sunrise occurs later and later. There is nothing new in that statement, if made anytime past late June, but it is an indication that the long cold winter is not so far away. We still have warm days ahead. We will be back into the eighties in just a few days. The night time lows tell a different story. Winter is indeed just around the corner. We are but a few weeks from Halloween and in quick succession we will have Thanksgiving and Christmas. Then we have the interminable months of January and February. I can look forward to complaining about my neighbors still burning their Christmas lights until April. There is that. The relentless calendar flips its pages.

Today is my youngest kid's birthday. He will be 24. That is hard to believe. Heck, he was playing Little League when I started this blog. He grew up too fast or I have been doing this too long. I suspect both are true.

Tomorrow is my middle kid's birthday. He will be 29. In some ways that is even harder to believe. It seems like yesterday that I was 29! Then I look in the mirror. I feel my joints squeak when I get off the couch. I look at the depressing collection of pill bottles in the cabinet. Time, you are an evil bitch.

Yeah, as the famous soap opera intones "like sands through the hourglass", the days go by at an an inexorable  pace. Did it feel that way to our ancient ancestors before clocks and watches and even sundials instilled authoritarian rule over time? Did caveman us drag himself from the cave, check his bare wrist and wonder when the ball game was supposed to start? Did he wake in the middle of the night glance at the empty shelf next to his bed and think about whether he had time for a quick snooze before work? Did he avoid a running series of arguments with his wife because without time, they were never actually late getting places?  Or did our ancient us look at the still waters of a pond and wander just who heck is that old guy in the reflection and when did my little boys grow up?

Adventures in Playboy Land

Hefner has gone over to the other side. 

Here is a truth: I have never purchased a Playboy magazine.  Don't get me wrong, I have looked at a lot of them. 

I even read a few. 

My room back at the fraternity had a huge collection of Playboys and similar ilk. The box came with the room. Of course I perused, I was a 19 year-old guy attending an all-male college. Duh.

Back in those salad days of my youth my fraternity pledge brothers and I embarked on a long weekend road trip. We ended up at The Playboy Club in Lake Geneva, Wisconsin. One of the guys' father had a membership key, so we headed over in small groups. The rest of us settled down in a local bar. Since one had to dress in decent clothing to go to the Club, we took turns showering in the single motel room we rented for thirteen guys. 

The Playboy Club was opulent. The women were beautiful beyond imagination. The bouncers were huge, ex NFL-types ready to break a miscreant college boy in half for even thinking about pulling on that cute little bunny tail. I remember an old guy doing magic tricks at our table. I remember our waitress was remarkably flat-chested for a Playboy Bunny. Mostly I remember that a beer cost five bucks. That does not seem so outrageous now, but in 1980 you could buy an entire case of beer for not much more than that. Individually and collectively we poor college kids decided the scenery wasn't worth the cost and sauntered back to the cheap roadhouse down the road to get uproariously drunk.  

The Playboy Club adventure was just part of a crazy road trip that included peeing on the shoulder of the Dan Ryan, getting tossed from a hotel, punching a dog, and evacuating a fraternity house on fire in the middle of the night. 

Ah, youth.

Hola

Greetings and happy Friday. I slipped out and grabbed some donuts this morning. The wife and granddaughter are happy. So is my belly. In my new efforts to be a good boy, I had but one.

I was going to skip the weather report, but I readily admit that covering the conditions outside is about all I have content-wise. It is sunny and chilly. I slipped on jeans to go to the donut shop. It was 47 and my shorts had to go until I got back home. We are looking at the mid-seventies today. It can stay there until he end of time as far as I'm concerned. That is a lie. I enjoy the change of seasons.

The old employer finally came through and admitted they owe me money. I should get a check in the next week or two. I still got screwed out of pay for a couple of vacation days, but it is not worth pursuing further. Earlier in the week we came down to disagreeing over a $855 commission payment. I was digging in hard. They were fighting harder. I had not made the threat, but I was going to small claims court on Monday. It is the principle of the thing. Out of the blue last evening I got an email apologizing for the misunderstanding and promising payment on the next payroll. I'm glad. I don't want to be "that guy". I am combative around here on occasion, but I try to get along with everyone. Old confrontations from years ago still bother me.

The world would be so much better if I was appointed Emperor and Universal Arbiter of Taste. You know this to be true.

Did you read the latest crime stats from the FBI? A cop is 18 times more likely to be shot by a young black guy than a young black guy is to be shot by a cop. The vast majority of shootings is black on black crime. You Kneelers want a conversation, let's start there.

Besides, I like this protest sentiment better:

I sure wouldn't genuflect to anyone in protest.

Did you notice the way I sneaked in some Friday Music there? Enjoy your day.

Hoo-ray again

The Cubs now have an official shot at a repeat.

Wut the heck

I can't explain it

Whatever it is, I'm against it

It is Tuesday here in God's favorite state. It is still forecasted to be very warm today, but a cool front will arrive tomorrow bringing more seasonable temperatures. No or very little rain is in the forecast until next week. I am afraid to even fart outside for fear of igniting the neighborhood.

The kneel for the Anthem kerfluffel continues. I think the Cowboys reached the right compromise last night, taking a knee  before the Anthem but rising in respect during the song itself. If there has to be a protest that is better.

I suppose I could better understand what the athletes want if they could articulate it better. Kneeling in a temper tantrum because your candidate lost the election is not acceptable.  If it is something else then it needs to be spelled out for dumb crackers like me. What is the point? What is your solution? Right now you just sound like Johnny Strabler in the Wild One:

"What are you rebelling against? Whadda you got?"

 If you are looking to bring about something as esoteric as "equality" then you need to define it. Just what are you protesters trying to accomplish? What is the goal?

Marketing 101

Dear President Trump

What is wrong with you? I thought you got that sports and politics don't go together.  Do you not understand the concept of free speech? Is there not a grown-up in the White House monitoring your Twitter account?

How about we look at things from a marketing aspect, as a businessman you should get that. A vast number of Americans already think you are a racist pig. Targeting black athletes with your Tweets and speeches only exacerbates that image.  What are you thinking?

More to the point, the Anthem protests had died down significantly in the past two NFL weeks. I suspect your rants will motivate a whole new wave of protest. Rescinding the invite to the Warriors is just petty. I think we elected a seven year-old as President.  If little Billy said he wasn't coming to your birthday party did you cancel the cake and bounce house?

It isn't your politics that will see you out of the White House after four years, it is stupid crap like this.

Falling for you. Get it, I said "fall"

Happy Friday. We are set to enjoy mid-summer weather here on the first day of fall. Temps are slated for the nineties today, yes nineties!

Fun fact. Today is the first day of fall. It is also my brother's birthday. My birthday is on the first day of spring.  How weird is that?

You care. Don't pretend you don't.

I have a desk full of work to get after. I will do my usual work thing; buckle down on the pile until all of my projects are done, 12 hours a day if necessary. Then by mid-week I will have nothing to do. That is just how I roll. I know my procrastinator tendencies and I learned long ago how to defeat them.

I started watching Ken Burns' new Vietnam War documentary. I got through episode 1 and the beginning of episode 2. So far it appears to be an even-handed presentation of the facts, with fairly accurate historical context.  We shall see as things move into the protest years how the series holds up.

Head Scratchin'

TV host Jimmy Kimmel has become outspoken in his support for ObamaCare and ridicules anyone who disagrees.

One of his reasons is his son has a heart defect. Kimmel claims he has heard of other kids in the same situation who don't have insurance for the surgeries.

????

ObamaCare provides insurance to everyone, even those with pre-existing conditions. In fact, it is against the law to not have medical insurance. How is this possible? Kimmel must be mistaken. The only answer is he is wrong or merely a liberal shill. There is no option 3.

Reason 6,219 you wish you were me

My mouth is already watering in anticipation. The wife is having a girl's night out with one of her...buddies?....I don't know the right term here, and I already know what I'm having for supper: brats and kraut and a sliced 'mater fresh from the vine. I might even crack a Yeungling if the mood suits me. It is supposed to be a gorgeous day, so it is possible I might burn a stogie for dessert. We shall see. But the brats and kraut are definitely on the menu.

In other news, there is no other news. My old employer continues to find reasons not to pay me commissions and vacation pay I have due. I am on the verge of threatening lawyers and courts. I don't make idle threats. Before I say the words, the attorney will already be hired. I'm a greedy SOB, and I don't want to share my hard earned money with someone else. Part of a payment is better than no payment, I guess. I going to give them a few more weeks then I'm done arguing. I will let a professional handle it.

But I have bratwurst. Life is good.

On the high side

I moseyed down to my doctor's office this morning to have some lab work done in anticipation of my checkup Friday. They drew a couple of vials of blood. Easy Peasy. I already know the results, if not the exact numbers. My blood sugar will be high. Too high. Cake before bed will do that to you. My A-1C will also be too high. Ditto my bad cholesterol, even though it will be within normal guidelines. My good cholesterol will be too low, a direct reflection of my level of exercise lately. I take direct responsibility for my failures in diet and exercise.

I'm also going to chow on leftover beef and noodles over mashed spuds for lunch. Bad, bad, bad. It is also my favorite meal in the world. I will do better tomorrow. Honest.

Gimme a break

Maybe, finally the crazy "I'm offended by everything" movement has jumped the shark with the hysteria over Trump letting an 11 year-old mow the Rose Garden and the crazy bitch practically fainting over a display of cotton branches at a Texas Hobby Lobby.

The mowing incident is not child labor. Come on, I know you hate Trump, but that is over the top.

If just looking at cotton triggers you, then you have issues way beyond textile fibers.

Envy looks good on you

I live in the best place in America. You may think you do, but I literally do. Money Mag says so. All of you New Yawkers, San Franciscans, and Portlanders can suck an egg. Just think how we would be rated if there was actually beaches, mountains, or scenery!

It is raining. We are set to get a thorough drenching today. I'm not complaining, we need it desperately. All of this moisture will make my pathetic 'maters split. Oh well. We have had a steady, if unspectacular crop this summer. Not enough hot days and too little rain.

Did you watch the Emmy Awards? Me neither. I would rather stab a fork in my thigh than watch an awards show. It is silly, only the narcissists in the entertainment industry vote themselves awards. Could you imagine that in another industry? And the General of the year is....congratulate Jim, the most outstanding urinal scrubber....this year's winner of best sales pitch to a unreceptive prospect goes to...

Have a great day

To quote my granddaughter's favorite song, "Let it Go"

I start most days in the same way. I make coffee. I take my meds. I skim the web versions of USA Today and the local TV news. I then read various political/news blogs/commentary. I then either write a post or run through my blog roll. Sometimes I reverse the last two, depending on my level of inspiration on a given day.

For nine months I have been told my vote for Trump is rooted in misogyny and/or white supremacy. Period. Clinton was the most qualified candidate in a generation...blah, blah and I must hate women to not vote for her. Or maybe I wanted to repudiate Obama's legacy because he was a black man. I read articles claiming both notions just this morning.

Funny, when Democrats took over the government after W, it was just a change in direction. When Republicans take over it is about our secret KKK affiliation. The pundits seem to ignore the idea that politics in America has been a see-saw for 25 years. The very notion that a large swath of Americans may not think the role of government is to redistribute, nanny, and invent "rights" is a foreign concept. That some of us want a limited government is so ridiculous that there must be another reason. How could the ignorant rubes not ascribe to liberalism? There must be an underlying cause.

Hillary could not have been defeated because we wanted to step back from liberal policies. It is not possible that we looked at her burgeoning bank account and saw corruption. There is no way that a generation of lies, prevarication, and deceit played a factor. Certainly we should have ignored  her secret server designed to get around public access laws. Her position on our Second Amendment rights could not have played a factor.  No, no we voted against her because we hate women. 

We voted for Trump because we are white supremacists. Sure many of us voted for Obama, but...well now we are Nazi skinheads. The idea that we think the Constitution is the law, not something to be changed by executive fiat, that we support legal immigration but not open borders, that ObamaCare made healthcare worse for many of us -- that is just crazy. Trump voters hate the notion of a powerful woman (despite our support for Sarah Palin) and we clearly want to chuck the 13th, 14th, and 15th Amendments so we can again have slaves toiling away in cotton fields. Yeah, that must be it.

The low approval rating for all of Congress, no matter the party, is just a coincidence. No sane person could decide to vote for an outsider, the only guy who vowed to drain the swamp. No, no, it must have been something else...

Maybe people voted for Trump because he vowed to put jurists on the Supreme Court who would hold to the Constitution, not "international law", one who thinks the phrase "Congress shall pass no law" means exactly that. That we know forcing us to buy a consumer product is not a "tax" and want a Justice that recognizes that fact. I know, that is crazy talk. We hate women and dark-skinned people. Plus, my wife likes it when I tear up her good sheets to wear to the cross burning. I bring the marshmallows, but only white ones. That is the only reasonable explanation. 

I'm sick of it. Reasonable people can disagree. Just because I don't ascribe to your particular brand of politics does not make me deplorable. It certainly does not make me a Nazi or mean I hate women. It does not indicate that I am stupid. It could mean I don't agree with your politics. Nothing more. Sometimes we cast our vote for a candidate, sometimes against another. Most often, we look at the people running for office, ponder if this is really the best we can do, cast our vote, and go home and vomit. 

The election is over. Move on. Find a better candidate next time. 

Live blogging my morning brain

People always ask me "Joe, what is it like to be you?". Currently, I live my life as if I am getting checked for a hernia approximately every four minutes: cough, cough. Albeit I am not dropping my cargo shorts so a stranger can feel me up. I guess the good news is I have moved past the coughing jags that last until I am winded and near gagging. The elephant sitting on my chest has been replaced by a large sow, perhaps a buffalo. I am sure there is not a black bear on my chest, and certainly not a giraffe.  My chest tightness rises above the feeling I would get if a hedgehog were perched atop my lungs. I hope that adequately describes the situation?

My head congestion has reverted back to the normal "I hate fall" allergy level snot production.

OK, I admit you did not ask for that update. I suppose, if I have to be honest (and mind you, I don't), no one has ever asked me what it is like to be me. I have been asked "What were you thinking?", or "What is wrong with you"; both queries are often muttered by my wife, usually accompanied by "that look" and a subtle shake of he head. I have no doubt long-time readers of this collection of writings have occasionally wondered what the heck is going on in my brain.

Or not.

In self-defense, in the almost 74 years I have been writing this blog a few crazy thoughts are bound to find their way into electronic print.  Don't even try to tell me you don't have a occasional "moments".

I digress. From what, I am not sure. I have no intention of re-reading this claptrap to figure it out. That is your job as consumer. I throw the stuff onto the wall. You determine what sticks.

You think this entry is weird? You should see/hear/read the other thousand bits of stuff swirling around in my brain. I am only typing out the most coherent ideas. And I might note that all of the cranial chaos is playing out with Led Zeppelin's "Fool in the Rain" playing as a soundtrack in the background.

Welcome to my Saturday morning.

Sometimes I worry my little wooden cigar store Indian is going to come to life and kill me

Good morning, Amigos. Joy, joy, it is Friday at last. I'm not sure how good a day it will be, however. I woke a little after 4:00 in the morning and was never able to get back to sleep. I finally gave in and got up a little before five. That means I will fight falling asleep at my desk this afternoon. Tuning in to the ball game on internet radio may or may not help. What? Come on, what other team plays its Friday home games in the afternoon, when baseball is supposed to be played, under the sun like God intended?

Speaking of baseball, Hey Jean, 22!

 I don't think we have any plans for the weekend. I suspect the wife will think of something. She is not one to just sit around. Chock it up to example 4,659 of stuff we do not have in common. I could think of nothing better than watching an old movie or reading as a way to relax. She has to be doing something all of the time. I can't sit around and watch her do housework, I wasn't built that way. So if she decides to start cleaning on a Saturday, I feel compelled to pitch in -- even if I would rather watch Zulu Dawn or an Esther Williams movie for the 34th time.

My coffee cup is empty and so is my reservoir of bloggity words. Enjoy your day.

What Happened?

Dear Hillary,

I think you are missing the forest for the trees. It isn't Comey's fault. It isn't the media covering your emails. It is simpler than that. If YOU did not set up a secure server to get around the law, if you didn't erase a bunch of those messages once you were caught, if you don't try to cover it all up, then there would have been no investigation to help sink your Presidential hopes. So that issue is on you.

You, the media, and the Democratic Party pushed the Trump as a candidate during the primaries because you thought you could defeat him, he would be easier than Jeb! or Rubio. Blame yourself. You didn't have to insult 50% of America by calling them deplorable.  Similarly when your party spends most of the election putting down white guys, Christians, and to a lesser extent white women, you shouldn't be surmised they don't support you. That is on you.

When you don't even bother to campaign in a given state, it is on you when that state votes for the other guy. Again, it is on you.

I think we all know the Russian thing has always been a joke.

I could go on, but in a nutshell your new book explains everything many Americans dislike about you. You do anything to make a buck. Even writing a book that blames everyone but Hillary Clinton. You prevaricate, twist the truth, change your story, and blame everyone else for your shortcomings. You have a history of this. A vast right wing conspracy did not get a blow job from Monica, your husband did. A video did not get people killed in Libya, your policies did. The FBI did not cause you to lose to Trump, you did. 

I do not want nor need your "absolution". I did nothing wrong in voting against you. Your hubris knows no bounds, you egomaniac.

Please, just go away. 

There, readers, no need to buy her book. I have covered it in 511 less pages and saved you a cool $18.00.  You are welcome.

There ain't no participation trophy here

It may rain today as the outer bands of what was once Irma continue to slide north and west. It may not rain. If it does rain, we won't get much. We need it. I don't think it has rained in the past month. I might be wrong about that.

I could look it up. I won't because I don't care. You don't either. It is dry. There is no dispute about that fact. My little tomatoes are a testament to the fact.

I have a complicated post milling around in my head about the causes of the Civil War. I want to help people understand that we cannot impose modern values on 19th century people. Understanding the times will help us understand why there are statues. That understanding helps us discuss rationally why tearing down our history is counter-productive. Like I said, it is complicated. People way smarter, more erudite, more educated have written books on the subject. I am not sure I can give a reasonable summary in a blog post. We shall see.

Imagine if Congress took the craziest law in California and imposed it on your state. Or if you live in a blue state and Indiana's stupid Sunday Blue Laws* were imposed on you. Imagine that taxes designed to benefit a few states were imposed on the whole nation, hurting the economy of your state. What if the Congress allowed several new states into the country ensuring the Red States will hold a permanent majority in the Legislature? If the situation resulted in succession (I'm looking at you California), would both sides argue they were trying to preserve the Constitution as they understood it?

There was more than slavery at play in the Civil War.

* can't sell cars on Sunday, can't buy carry out beer wine or booze on Sunday...

Wherein I offend my readers

Tradition and the calendar dictate I pen a post of remembrance today. I don't have it in me. Not because the emotions are too painful, or the toppling of The Towers represents a milestone in American history, or anything else. Just blame it on time. Honestly, I don't know anyone who lost a loved one on 9/11. I did not know a single victim. I can coldly recount the events of the day, but I don't have a personal loss that ferments in raw emotion. Oh I remember where I was, but my tale is no more and a lot less important than many.

By the mid-1950's Americans were in an economic boom. Pearl Harbor, arguably a more significant, defining, and world-changing event, was two hot wars and one cold war in the past. Did our Dads and Granddads stop to reflect?

The events of 9/11 were the beginning of the great modern politicization of America. The toxic stew that pervades America is a result of religious fanatics crashing airplanes in a desperate act of terrorism designed to destroy our country. Guess what? They partially succeeded. The leftists, and totalitarians on the right, never content to waste a crisis, have succeeded in redefining our society.

Government spies on us with Orwellian intensity. Our freedoms are under assault in the name of security. Christians are prosecuted and persecuted for their beliefs while Islam is taught in the elementary schools. Our young adults huddle in fear from ideas and politics they don't like.

And still Americans are dying for undefined reasons in the high deserts of Afghanistan.

I would say the masterminds of 9/11 succeeded far beyond their wildest imaginations.

It was my intention to let the day pass unnoticed. Instead you get more worthless words than I have penned in a long time. I don't want to go back to September 10th. Life wasn't innocent then either. I'm not that naive. But I wouldn't mind a time where politics didn't pervade every damn second of life. Where football is about sport, not race. Where you could disagree with the President, but that didn't make him the anti-Christ. A time where a statue was a place for pigeons to crap. A time where the notion that we let six year-olds have sex change hormones was unthinkable.

I'm not in the mood to reflect, remember, or reminisce. It is just another September day. I'm good with that.

I have questions

I managed to sleep in my bed last night for the first time in about two weeks. I was sick of dozing/sleeping in the recliner.  I think I managed to go most of the night without coughing. Snores that would drown out a grizzly bear did not wake me. Only the wife knows for sure. I'll ask her if I kept her awake when she gets up.

What is wrong with people that they cannot shut their pie hole at the movie theater? We don't need constant commentary, or a recap of what we just saw on the big screen. I know he kissed her. I just watched it happen. For the most part it is not the youth of today being rude, it is middle-aged women who should know better. Maybe it is all of that perfume eating away the brain cells that makes them forget they are not at home.

If hurricane winds can knock down buildings, uproot trees and hurl coconuts like cannon balls, how do small animals and rodents survive? Why isn't there footage of rats or squirrels hurling through the air? I want to see footage of an Everglades python whipping in the wind like an old piece of rope. Where do the tiny chickadees, sparrows, or hummingbirds hide out to escape nature's fury? How do they survive without batteries and bottled water? Where do mosquitoes and bees and spiders hide out? There is so much stuff I do not know.

What the heck, Chicago Cubs?

I can't even come up with a click bait title

I have nothing today.  Sorry.

It was a cool September morning

They say a picture speaks a thousand words. That screen shot of a pouting Tom Brady on the bench a few minutes before the end of that football game was worthy of Tolstoy. Bwahahaha, suck it pundits, your dream of an undefeated Patriots season was crushed by the Kansas City Chiefs.

Sometimes I think the brutal tar and feathers practice of our forebears should be brought back into fashion. If anyone needed a ride on a rail it is the top executives of Equifax. Not for the massive security breach, but that they took the time to sell off some stock before they announced the breach, knowing the value of the company would take a deserving hit.  These executives make capitalists everywhere look bad. I'm not advocating brutal mob violence, but I would give a small cheer of approbation in this case.

Why does Congress bother with a debt ceiling anyway? We all know they are just going to vote to allow more spending. I can tell you now there will be additional grandstanding in December before the politicians of both parties agree that they need to keep on spending more of your money.  When was the last time a spending "ceiling" was ever a limit? The day before never, maybe? What a joke.

The good thing about a short week is that it is a short week. In the case of this particular section of the calendar I cannot think of anything else good about it.  It has been a sucky week. You don't need, nor care about details. I'm still sick for starters, the rest, I won't bother to bore you with.

Football is back, baseball is heading into postseason form and it is a Friday. I can live with that. Keep up the faith, readers.

5787

Here we are on the second Monday this week. It was a terrific long weekend and I hope yours was too.

Now I'm back to work. It is lunchtime and my first break.

The granddaughter started preschool today.  When did she get so grown up? I know spending time with someone besides her immediate family, and the wife and I is a good thing. She does pretty well for a kid not 3 until December. She knows every letter sound, can mostly count to 7 and knows her basic colors. She can identify all of the shapes --  including hard ones like diamond and oval. She is learning stuff here and at home. She just needs to hang out with rugrats her own age.

The strong front that promised rain fizzled before it reached here last night. Harvey's worn out remains did not make it far enough north Friday either.  It remains dry as a popcorn fart.

Enjoy your Monday Tuesday.

Deep thoughts

Spellcheck may be my friend, but I am sure getting sick of him correcting me all of the time.

I'm doing a great Doc Holliday Impersonation

We went to a wonderful outdoor wedding yesterday. The weather was perfect. We got to spend time with my wife's family, something we do too little of. I managed to not hack and cough through the ceremony. I made up for it when I tried to sleep later in the evening. It was a rough night in the old recliner. Flat in bed would have been worse.

I think the wife has work scheduled for me today. The garage is a mess of junk from when the kids moved back home. We have enough musical gear to start a decent band: amps, speakers, mic stands, guitars, drums, keyboards. All items the oldest boy could not get into his car when he headed west. We have the youngest boy's extra TV, stand, lamps, sweeper, and boxes of "stuff".  All needs to be rearranged a stacked neatly to one side so the wife can put her car back in me garage. If I may coin a phrase; "Winter is coming" (It is catchy and might just become the basis for a cultural phenomenon, I think). She wants her car back inside.

Monday is a day off work. We are invited to a BBQ. I've got to shed this darned cold. Cigars and beer are on the menu with smoked chicken and other fare. It is supposed to be in the mid-eighties. I might even jump into the pool.

In case you did not notice the natural fresh scent of this post, it is live. No canned goods for you today. That means I obviously did not have to jet off to the Orient last Thursday for a week or so in China as was originally planned. My trip has been postponed for a bit. I can live with that.

Have a great Sunday.

Bold NFL Predictions

It is a chilly start to the long weekend. Yesterday was decidedly fall-like with daytime temperatures in the mid-sixties. Harvey ripped some rain south of here but we saw nary a drop. It was cloudy. I was stuck at my desk anyway. Temperatures are supposed to rebound back into the 80s for the balance of the long weekend,

I still have a cold. It has settled in my chest. I hacked all night long again and for the third night in a row slept semi-upright in the recliner in my office. I have had this coughing thing several times in the past several years and it seems to take forever to go away. I never got sick back when I was fat. I went more than twenty years without seeing a doctor or missing a day of work. I drop 55 pounds and I feel like I'm sick all of the time. I still don't miss work, but it is a little easier to suck it up when you work from home.

So it goes. You didn't stop by to hear me complain. I hope not anyway. If so, you have some real issues.  Unfortunately, complaints are about all I have to offer you today.

I think I will saunter through my blog roll and then try to find some old movie to watch. Maybe I will go for a walk. Oh, who am I fooling?

Enjoy your Saturday.

Not so deep observation of the day

It is clear that The Trumpster could rush into a burning house, rescue two orphans, a puppy, and a trio of kittens and the media and a significant quantity of tne population would find something wrong in the way he did it.

It has moved way beyond politics as normal.