Saturday's Adventures

I woke early yesterday. There is nothing unusual in that. I guess it is a function of getting old.

My wife's sister and neices held a wedding shower for my daughter yesterday up in Purdueville. The wife had not seen her family since Christmas, so she stayed late and came home long after I went to bed Saturday night around midnight.

So how did I fill my day? I trimmed all of the bushes and cleaned up the mess. I weeded some more on the huge flower beds out front. The previous owners planted lots of perennials, and there is always something in bloom. They also planted serveral kinds of pernicious groundcover and ivy. Add that I do not know what is flowers and what is ground cover and what is weeds, the large bed in front lookslike a jungle. I want to just spray the whole mess with Roundup and be done with it. If I knew how to do it without killing the multitudes of lillies, flags, daisies, tulips, irises, and other flowers, I would do it.

The side yard was still too wet from this week's rains to mow. there is a low spot There that does not drain well. The boy and I will mow today.

After the yard work I smoked a terrific Rocky Patel decade cigar. It was a fine smoke. I highly recommend it.

I watched and napped through a DVR recording of The Natural. I watched a great Cubs game. During the late innings I baked some chocolate chip cookies.

I watched a little Elvis in Clambake and then went to bed, a tired old man.

I spent the day doing a little work and a lot of screwing off. Par for the course for me.

Damn, That Dave is sure smart

That comment is about you. You = fat. Therefore in this instance, fat = stupid. Because you're stupid.

And to be CLEARER: The victory for thinking people is a reference to the fact that you, and only you, in this example, are a non-thinker. And therefore if you had to eat healthy food, it would make your non-thinking mind hurt.

Wow, that comment is the most illogical, mind numbing prose I have ever had the displeasure to read. It ranks right up there with some of the most intellectually vapid written works ever put forth. That is no little feat since I have read the works of Karl Marx, The Unibomber's Manifesto, and the back of a Raisin Brand box.

Seriously, can anyone follow what the hell this moron is trying to say?

Hey Dave -- maybe Josh can help you write something that actually makes sense.

This is what passes for clear thinking by those on the left

I hope you have to have a heart bypass one day. And let me be clear: not because I want your life to be in danger, but because I want you to have to eat healthy food for the rest of your life. Every time you ate spinach (or whatever food you think is yucky) would be a victory for all thinking people worldwide.
--Dave from Some Country for Old Men (Yellow Bellied Cowards is the link on the sidebar)in a comment to the post below.

This comment is proof positive why I and others do not want the liberals to dictate our healthcare.

More importantly, I guess I am ignorant. How can eating more spinach be a victory for thinking people? Do only smart people eat veggies? Is he trying to say only dumb people eat meat? Will a by-pass make me a liberal? Will it make me smarter? Is eating Cheetos and Dairy Queen a victory for non-thinking people? Can only skinny people be smart?

If there is a study that proves a relationship between intellect and weight, I would sure like to see it. Could it just be that Little Davey is just a narrow-minded bigot that hates anyone different than him? Does he unfairly stereotype those he does not even know? My goodness, you mean Dave judges people by the way they look? Say it ain't so, JoeDave! That would make you prejudiced.

Can anyone at all follow the twisted logic of his statement?

Why do I feel like Daveyboy typed that comment, stuck out his tongue, and said "Take that mean old Hoosierboy"? I feel like I am back on the playground at Samuel P. Kyger Elementary. Shit, I bet he even believes his Dad can beat up mine.

Edit. Dave thinks I took his comment out of context. Here the paragraphs before and after. You be the judge:

The great thing about being you is that, being ignorant, you don't have any idea you're ignorant. That's part of the definition of ignorance.

I'd pity you but you're so dumb you don't even know you need pity. So I'll just pity your wife who must, once a day, roll her eyes and think, "My God, I can't believe I have sex with this disgusting piece of human filth. He's such a fuck-up. And I've wasted my life."

And I pity your kids who have to grow up with a father who doubtless wears sandals and socks.

You're such a waste of everything. Oxygen. Food. Bandwidth.

You are the epitome of a worthless human being. And you seem to enjoy being ignorant. You're the luckiest motherfucker on the planet that you're an American and not, say, from a third world country with no democracy. Because even the useless here get a voice. Long live the USA!

I hope you have to have a heart bypass one day. And let me be clear: not because I want your life to be in danger, but because I want you to have to eat healthy food for the rest of your life. Every time you ate spinach (or whatever food you think is yucky) would be a victory for all thinking people worldwide.

Oh, and you're a cunt.

Dear Chris Mathews

I saw you on Leno last night.

Mathews, you stupid cunt. Dick Cheney left the employment of Haliburton 10 years ago. He is in no way responsible for the leak in the BP oil well. You have become so infected with BDS that reality is no longer in your realm of existence. I am surprised you also don't blame Fox News. Just ask any liberal, Fox News is the source of all evil in the world.

A decade ago I worked for a different company. Am I responsible for what they do today in the marketplace? Good gravy, you are a moron.

And Chrisy baby, I know the Republicans don't give that same man-crush tingle up your leg as The Obama. Your description of some as 'charismatic, but inexperienced' may be accurate, but they all have more experience than your crush. How does that make the Republicans in trouble?

Why would anyone listen to your lunatic rantings? Oh wait, based on your ratings, they don't.

Friday Covers

It is spring, and nothing says spring like some Green Onions:



The Harry James band version. Those cats could swing.



Lightnin' Hopkins on a slide acoustic version



Booker T and the MGs -- Steve Cropper and Duck Dunn rock it out. Booker T was the backing band at Stax Records. You can hear them behind Sam and Dave among others.

One of the greatest songs ever. If it is not on your MP3 Player, I don't know what to say to you.

Things I do not know

I'm back from my short trip to the west coast. It was not a successful trip, I am afraid. That is the way life and business works sometimes.

The trip home was mostly uneventful. The three hours I spent in the middle seat sucked as much as I thought they would. I am beat and tried still this morning.

It is supposed to rain again today and tomorrow. What was supposed to be a very warm and nice weekend is fading by the hour. Yesterday, Saturday was forecasted at sunny and temps in the upper 80s. Now we are seeing forecasts of rain in the morning and a high of 80. That is better than the 50s, but I am ready for a weekend without rain. The wife will be gone Saturday for a wedding shower for my daughter.

The wife said she bought me a TV dinner to have for lunch this week. I cannot find it. I wonder if the boy ate it? I bet long-time readers can guess what kind it was.

I see my daily hits are down about 20%. Is that a by product of my lack of posting, a boycott of my place for the racist posts of last week, a function of the season, or another factor?

Since those of you who are no longer stopping by will not be checking in to tell me why you are not visiting, I guess we will never know.

Urgent edit -- 1;20 pm: I found it. The wife put it in the garage freezer. I know you will all rest easy now. The boy did not eat my lunch after all. Sorry Jake.

Dear Senator Specter

Hahahahahahhahaa take that you traitorous piece of shit. When you sell out your values you are hated by every one. How does it feel to be fucked like a $25 whore? The Obama promised you support if you would come over to the dark side. You sold out the country on the Stimulus Bill that did not stimulate, and on Obamacare. Thanks to your vote we are screwed for generations to come.

What did you get for selling out? The same result if you were still a Republican. Hell, if you had stayed a Repub, and stood up against Obamacare, you might have been able to keep your job. Now you are in the same situation, only what tiny bit of reputation you had is gone. I spit at you, you piece of filth.

Hey, how did that massive Obama support work out for you Senator? They bought your vote for a basket of empty promises. The Democrats gave it to you good, and did not even give you the courtesy of a reach around.

Good riddance.

For the record

I, unlike Eric Holder, Janet Napolitano, and others in the Administration, have read the Arizona Immigration law. I refrain from going on TV to condemn the law. They do not have similar restraint. Again, they admit they have not even read the law.

I have never claimed to serve in Vietnam. I did not serve in Vietnam.

I have never had an affair with a staff member, intern, or employee. I do not even have sex with my wife.

Decisions

Mount St. Helens blew her top 30 years ago today.

I may drive up there this afternoon in celebration this afternoon after my appointments.

Or not.

Reporting in

Hey Blog Friends sorry no post for this morning. It was a hi-ho kind of day -- you know, off to work I go. I boarded a plan very early this morning to fly to my most favorite spot on Earth to visit, namely Portland, OR. I know some of you will not believe the greatest spot to visit is not Texas. I am sorry to disappoint you. I have been to most of the United States, Canada, Mexico, Germany, Austria, Holland, Great Britain, Italy and France, and I would rather come to Portland than any of those destinations.

The planes were crowded full both ways. The asshole next to me on the way to Minneapolis felt the need to impress us with how much work he had to do. He poked his damn elbow into my side the whole way as he tried to type on the tiny keyboard of his miniature laptop. On the long flight to Portland the lady in the middle seat dropped subtle hints about how bad her back was and that she needed to get up frequently. Blah blah I quit listening at that point. I have one of those damn middle seats on the way home Wednesday.

It is party cloudy and warm, but the sky is too overcast to see Mt. Hood or Mt. St Helens. I did drive up into the Columbia River Gorge this afternoon. I can only offer a prayer of thanks to the Almighty for letting me see such beauity. Google some pictures of the Gorge if you do not believe me. Here is one looking upstream itook with my phone.

I went to the rental slot to grab my car. I guess the people at Hertz felt bad giving me a minivan last week. They gifted me a bright red Mustang with 4700 miles on it. That car is fun to drive. I learned to drive on a 1964 Mustang. This one has more comfort and far more power. There is an actual picture of the car taken at Crown Pont above the Columbia River.

I have to take a quick power nap so I can get ready for the free happy hour here at the hotel. They are smart, if I drink enough beer I will not leave to eat. They will get my dinner business at their shitty hotel restaurant. But I get free beer. Some days it is good to be me.

Submitted for your approval

Below is the rerun I was actually searching for earlier this week. I wrote this back in the early 1990s when I was working the graveyard shift. I ended up writing three or four chapters. It was garbage. The prologue is not bad, though. Of course that's my opinion.

December 5, 2005
Prologue

The silence of the pre-dawn morning was broken only by the occasional car or truck passing on the snow-slick two-lane highway. A car slowed to a crawl as if closing in upon its prey. The rear end slid a little as the sedan skidded to a stop. The darkness was broken by the white flash of backup lights as the vehicle slowly backed up four dozen yards and turned into a narrow driveway. The sounds of a straining engine could be heard through the barely falling snow as the car lumbered through the mud and slush. The headlights bounced up and down and side to side in duplication of the rutted road. Snowflakes danced in the twin beams like chorus girls in the spotlight. Round and round they spun, climbing and falling to the ground in the wake of the slowly moving automobile.

The car coasted to a stop in front of a run-down farmhouse. The roof was partially caved in and the awning over the porch had long since been consumed as firewood. The glow of a cigarette could be vaguely seen through the frosted windows of the idling car. The engine cut out as the door opened. A short figure in a bulky overcoat climbed out of the dark vehicle. The cigarette arced a path through the darkness as it was flipped into the distance. The man looked to the east as the first rays of dawn began to spread their pink and orange fingers through the clouds of the night sky. It had stopped snowing. The man's breath made clouds around his head in the early morning cold.

The man huddled next to the car until the sun began to peak over the horizon. He opened his trousers and relieved himself on the left rear tire before clearing his throat and spitting in the direction of the vanished cigarette. He slowly made his way toward the house.

The man mounted the sagging steps, hesitated and ducked through the doorless entryway. The sun’s weak rays provided just enough light for the figure to navigate the littered hallway. He made his way to what was the front living room. The television set and VCR were strangely incongruous in the surroundings.

He started the gas-powered generator. Its sound filled the early morning air. The man involuntarily winced at the noise. He lit another Camel and turned on the TV. Static changed to a blue screen as the VCR powered on. The tape was over after three minutes. He poured steaming coffee from a large green Thermos and went to the corner to relieve himself yet again. He sat down and watched the tape twice more.

His assignment was clear. The Vice President of the United States was to attend the “Greatest Spectacle in Sports” – the Indianapolis 500 in just four and one half months hence. In May the Indianapolis 500 gets top attention in the papers: not this year. This year the Vice President would be assassinated while attending the race. The man in the bulky overcoat watched the film yet again. The man would go to Indianapolis tomorrow and begin laying the plan to kill the heir apparent to the Presidency.

He picked up all of his cigarette butts and placed them in his pocket. From his briefcase, he took a wad of plastic-like gel. He first stuck the plastique to the side of the generator and then added a detonator. He was seven miles away on the interstate when the farmhouse disintegrated into a ball of flame.

Today's earworm

Here Kitty, Kitty, Kitty...

Weekend reading

I have been re-reading E.B. Sledge's memoir of World War II -- With the Old Breed.. I owned an original hardback copy in the late 1980s, but it, like around 150-200 other books were destroyed by termites while stored temporarily at my Mother-in-Law's house. I lost priceless books on the Civil War, The SpanAm war, and some truly expensive books about the Zulu Wars, among others.

Back to the point, if you have never read Sledge you are missing out on a true literary masterpiece. The 'Sledgehammer' paints a personal account of the iseries of war. Parts of this memoir are being used in the HBO Miniseries The Pacific.

I'm leaving on a jet plane

I had to make a quick one day trip to the land of the Cheeseheads yesterday. I snagged a flight for $149. I could not drive for that price, even when I add in the rental car. Eight hours driving each way plus meals and a hotel would be more expensive.

At the airport there was a little excitement as a woman behind me in Security refused to show her ID. You see she was in a full Burka -- covered head to foot with just a mesh screen over her eyes. She would not show ID, because she would have to show her face. The TSA had to shut down a line so a couple of female agents could be rounded up to private screen the Burka babe.

Since I have already proven I am a racist asshole today, I do not mind admitting I was sure glad the hard-core Islamist family was not on my flight.

The guy next to me on the plane to Milwaukee whistled quietly the entire fucking flight. The only thing worse than a whistler is a change rattler.

I went to get my rental car and they gave me a white Town and Country mini-van. I went back to the counter, but she told me too bad, that is all they had. When I started the f-ing mini-van I realised it had exactly three (3) miles on the odometer. Hertz clearly pulled it off the truck and straight into stall 87.

I ate a chili-dog for lunch. You can bet I marked that brand new mini-van as mine later in the afternoon. No more new car smell for the next traveller. Who got the last laugh, Hertz Rent a Car?

Anyway, I had a good customer visit. I left home at 7:00 am and returned at 11:00 pm. Two, two, two work days in one.

You will laugh anyway

The Secret Service has uncovered a plot to kidnap the President...

























I know, but it is still funny.

One more rerun

I wrote this back in 2008 also.

At the time I do not think it garnered a single comment. I enjoyed writting it any way.

From March 20, 2008 (avery great day):

March 20, 2008
One April Morning

He opened his eyes and for a moment and did not know where he was. It was the grey twilight of predawn. The dew was heavy and there was a thin veil of fog drifting from the river. He heard the snap of twigs and the hard breath as someone blew on the previous nights embers. A few more huffs and he heard the pop of the wood as the fire caught hold of the kindling.

He rolled from his blanket and made his way through the thick underbrush behind the camp. He unbuttoned his fly and relieved himself. He pulled up his suspenders and buttoned the top button of his shirt. As he walked to the fires he picked up a few sticks for fuel. He stopped at his blankets and pulled on his jacket and wide brimmed hat. He shivered a little as the eastern sky grew pink. Jacob Hoffert offered a prayer of thanks for the new day.

Steeling himself, he reached for his haversack and moved toward the nearest fire. He saw Jonathon there. Jonathan was the last of his original mess. His pard Isaac had gotten bronchitis and was left behind 12 days ago. Seth had simply disappeared. Along with Jonathan, the four had been childhood friends back home. Jonathan had always been kind of a bully, teasing him about his size. As Jacob approached Jonathan said something to the man across the fire. The man turned to look at Jacob and rolled his eyes and let out a sigh. Jacob dropped the armful of wood next to the fire. "Watch it runt" said William Hazlett, who was even bigger than Jonathan. As Jacob squatted next to the fire the wind changed, blowing the smoke from the green wood into his face. Jacob tipped his canteen into the lidded coffee boiler and set it near the flames. Matthew Walker joined the others around the fire. He stirred the embers and knocked a large piece of wood into Jacob's mug, knocking it over. "Hoffert, you are just a Jonas" Walker said, shaking his head.

Jacob reached deep into his haversack and found a cotton poke. In it was a handful of coffee beans he had roasted the previous evening. He had taken the beans and placed them in his rubber blanket, then pounded them into rough grounds with his rifle butt. He righted his cup, added some more of his precious water and dropped in a scant handful of coffee. Jacob noticed the others' envious looks and reluctantly offered the bag. He knew these men, who treated him so badly, would not hesitate to use his whole stash. When the poke was returned, only a thumbwidth of coffee remained in the bottom of the bag.

Walker placed a skillet on the embers and began slicing some salt pork. Jonathon was breaking hard tack into pieces to fry in the grease of the pork. In the distance they heard the sentries fire off the charges from the night before. A few more shots sounded up and down the line. They all looked toward the Southwest as a few shouts were heard, but the call was too far off to make out the words. Motion and more shouts were moving up the line as the firing began to grow heavier than merely the pickets clearing their Springfield rifles. The firing grew into a steady roar as the sound of the long roll was heard. More and more drums took up the call. The soldiers snatched up their accoutrements as their own drummer beat his skins. The officers echoed the shout of "Fall In" as the men raced to the stacked arms, breakfast forgotten.

The bullets began to crash through the branches as the men fell into a rough line before the stacked muskets. "Take arms" was followed by a hasty "load" as the shouts and shots of the Rebel soldiers became clear to their right and front. At the far left of the line --the 'short' end -- Jacob felt the First Sergeant at the left end of K Company move in line next to him. Everyone was loading in haste as the men in butternut erupted from the treeline 30 yards away. They stopped in a rough line and fired a volley. Half of Jacob's own C Company and all of K Company turned and ran. Jacob hastily brought his rifle to full cock and fired a shot without aiming. He turned and ran towards the ridge behind him. The hungry Southerners stopped to loot the camp and pluck the burning bacon from the fire.

The company reformed and fell back to the treeline. A clearing was before them. The armies stood toe to toe, the shots buzzing through the trees and undergrowth like a swarm of hornets around their nest. Jacob fired. His shoulder ached and his face and mouth were black from the powder as he bit into the cartridges. Constant curses and shouts of "dress center" and "close up" came from behind him with numbing regularity as his comrades bled and died in the line. After a few hours there was a lull in the fighting. The shots and killing did not stop, it just became less heavy. Ammunition was brought forward and Jacob took a drink from the brackish water in his nearly-empty canteen. He could see the Rebels rolling artillery into place across the clearing. The sound of battle was so loud he was nearly deaf. He heard a thump like a dropped melon and saw Matthew Walker's head explode in a red mist.

Suddenly the late morning was split with a mass barrage of cannon shot and shell. Branches fell from overhead killing the lieutenant. Pieces of wood flew from the trees as parts of bodies erupted in fountains of blood. The smoke hid the carnage as Jacob Hoffert loaded and fired, loaded and fired. The big guns spurted flame as if the gates of Hell were opening, men died calling for their mother and a few crawled to the rear and hopeful safety. With a blood curdling yell a wave of men in grey and butternut uniforms erupted from among the canon. With bayonets fixed they charged the Union line in the treeline. Jacob Hoffert felt a stinging blow across his side as he was grazed by a musket ball. He did not notice the blood crusting his head from a falling chunk of wood, blasted down by the case shot of the Confederate guns.

The line fell back again. This time to the river. A short heavy officer with a dark beard directed him into line with other troops he did not know. Units were mixed, makeshift regiments formed from individual companies and soldiers. Jacob was hungry and thirsty. As darkness fell, the firing to the front slowed and finally ceased. He fell into a restless sleep born from exhaustion. Suddenly the night sky blazed in red as the gunboats in the river began firing on the Confederate lines.

A body dropped down beside him, it was Jonathan. "God, I am glad to see you" Jonathan said. "I thought we were all gonners". Jacob Hoffert could only nod his head in the dark. He hurt all over and the pain in his skull only seem to intensify the burning crease on his side. Jonathan handed him a damp piece of hardtack. It had a bitter taste, from mud or blood, he did not want to know.

"What happened?" he asked his childhood friend. "The Rebs were supposed to be in Corinth."

"I guess they was here instead. They must of not got the message". deadpanned Jonathan.

"And where is here?" Jacob spoke the words so softly he was barely heard.

"Well the sign on that little white church back by camp said Shiloh Meeting house. I guess that is where we is". Jonathan looked at his scrawny friend, sighed and rolled his eyes.

Tuesday reruns, Wednesday edition

I am not sure what inspired this, or what drugs were driving my brain at the time.

From February 2008 I offer this rerun:

February 11, 2008
Do you know me?

I am the smoke from your campfire dissipating in the leafy branches of the trees. I am the dream that makes you smile in your sleep. I am the shadow on the lawn you see on a moonlit night. I am the moan of the wind on a springtime morning. I am the ache in your heart for what you never had. I am the pain in your gut for all you miss. I am the cloud that shines red-gold in the setting sun. I am the butterfly that flutters from petal to petal. I am the drifting snow. I am the smell of corn and fresh mown alfalfa in the fields. I am here and not. I exist on the peripheral of your vision, a shape, a ghost. I am thunder in the clouds. I am the magic you feel at Christmas. I am the tremor you feel in your soul walking a dark street at night. I am the goosebumps on your arms, the tears in your eyes. I am the lingering smell of your wife on the pillow. I am the frost etched on your windows, only to be melted by the winter sun. I am the nuzzle of your man on the back of your neck. I am summer lightning over the horizon. I am a lingering kiss goodbye. I am neither here nor there. I am the lie that tells the truth. I am the pain of childbirth. I am the joy of a first kiss. I am the white heat of betrayal. I am the cold touch of loneliness. I am the kick of a gun. I am the thrill of a roller coaster. I am nobody. I am here and gone. I am real and imaginary. I am Hoosierboy, and I do not exist.

Tuesday Afternoon

It remains cloudy, windy and overcast here in the Hoosier heartland. We had a round of storms come through this morning and it looks like it might rain again at anytime. The weather man says this is what we should expect for the next several days.

I am beleaguered by goofy bullshit at home and work. The boy's ex-girlfriend and three of her friends beat the shit out of his current girlfriend in the phys ed locker room yesterday. He has not dated the old girlfriend for about five months. She broke up with him. Nothing like holding a grudge. His current girlfriend got expelled from school too, since the school policy dictates if you fight back you are guilty of fighting too. I guess she should have let four people beat her until she had to go to the hospital? The boy feels bad. He did nothing wrong, but feels somehow responsible. He has not been able to talk to his current girl. He assumes she is grounded and cannot use her phone. I tried to cheer him up by telling him he is a stud -- chicks are fighting over him. he hates conflict so this is not going well with him. I won't even get into the crazy crap going n with work.

I put some chicken breasts in the crockpot with a couple cans of broccoli cheese soup (and about 1/4 can of milk)and some salt and a few red pepper flakes. Served over noodles or rice it makes an excellent dinner. You can put in 1/4 cup of dry white wine in place of the milk if you desire.

You are welcome.

Tuesday reruns

As we head into the spring season, the networks are trotting out re-runs. Always quick to jump on the bandwagon, always a slave to popularity, always trying to be just like everyone else, I present a dose of reruns today.

Well at least one.

Below is one of my favorite short stories. In all, I do not think it is badly written. I also think I am a handsome devil and quite amusing in my way, so there is no accounting for taste.

Anyway, this story was first published in April of 2007. Some of you may have read it way back when:

April 8, 2007
A Day at the Beach

He gasped as he stepped into the surf. He knew the Atlantic was cold, but the chill surprised him every time. The waves were a little higher this time. The ebb tide had turned and high tide was again on the make. His friend and their kid had gone with his son to the outer sand bank about 50 yards offshore where the waves broke just a little bigger. There they could feel the waves crash into their bodies and take turns riding the boogie board on top of the waves for 15 yards or so.

He had made the trip out twice earlier in the afternoon. He could wade out about 30 or 40 feet then he had to swim out to the sand bank where the water was waist deep at best. He had promised his son one more trip out through the surf. When the time came, he begged off. The sun and day at the beach coupled with the two previous swims in the cold ocean to the sand bar had taken their toll; the man was tired. His friend said he would go and with his larger teen aged daughter and the man's small teen aged son they set out, calling him as wuss. The man's wife heckled him to go, reminding him he had promised his son. The man got to his feet with a sigh and followed the three into the surf.

At the sand bar the waves hit with more power than before, coming quicker and stronger with the growing tide. The water was not so cold once you got used to it he remarked. Soon the tide made it time to go in. The water level at the sandbar was now at the man's chest level as opposed to barely waist level a few hours earlier.

The man and his son started back. The son was an OK swimmer so he paddled on top of the boogie board. The man waded along for a few steps then was forced to swim. He would climb the swell with a strong breast stroke. He was forced to stop and tread water to stay with his son. The waves were growing larger. It took more effort to climb to the top of each succeeding wave. The waves came quicker and he urged his son to paddle faster. A wave broke over his head. He saw a large wave coming and swam to the top. In the valley he could feel the pull backward, he swam forward and moved only a few feet against the current. The pattern repeated. Now the swim to shore was fifty or sixty yards as opposed to the thirty before.

He urged his son to go quicker, a little panic creeping into his mind. His friends were far behind him. He swam to the top of another wave, his arms and legs beginning to feel heavy. Again he urged his son to hurry. He was smothered in the swell again, this time he swallowed the salty seawater. His arms and legs felt like lead. He could not swim another stroke. He tread water for a minute to see his son, now 10 yards behind him. Another wave. "Come on" he shouted. Another wave. Always a good swimmer, he could not believe he was struggling like this. Another wave. His legs would not move. Oh God, he thought, I am not going to make it. Another wave. The shore was too far. Another wave. He went under again. He tried to swim, but his arms would not work. Another wave. He rolled to his back, knowing if he could just rest a moment he would be fine. Another wave. He swallowed even more water. He called to his son to hurry, maybe he could rest on the board for a moment and catch his breath. Another wave. His son saw the worry on his dad's face and mistook it. He shouted back he was fine. Another wave.

The man drew on every bit of strength he could find and swam a few yards before he was pounded down by another wave, he was closer. He wife began running into the surf, she could see he was foundering. His friend told his daughter to hurry and they sped forward. The man could not move his arms. He went under to see if he could stand up yet, the bottom still was beyond his reach, maybe an inch -- maybe by feet. The effort to climb to the top of the swell was all he could muster. Another wave. He turned to look at his son, concerned he was OK. The boy was dog paddling with ease over the swell. Another wave. The man went under. Pure panic set in, but he could not move his exhausted limbs. He felt sorry for his family, he was embarrassed, he fought again, but the energy was gone. Another wave. He struggled, he thought his tired lungs would burst. Another wave.

He at last felt the bottom and was enveloped by a warm glow the likes of which he never felt before. He was calm, he was peaceful. He felt another wave crash over him. He was no longer tired. Another wave pushed his lifeless body toward the shore, just a few yards away.

Inside the liberal brain trust

Dave: Der, Josh, it sure is cold this morning.

Josh: Yep, the moving pitcher box says it was 82 on Friday and only 36 this morning.

Dave: That is a big drop off, probably because of global warming climate change.

Josh: Yep, all them glaciers melting puts the cool air into the sky and makes things get real cold like. Dumb fat working 'Mericans insisting on driving their SUVs are causing it. Fat 'Mericans and Fox News is responsible.

Dave: Its cause they is all fat and hates the gays...and Fox News...Hey I was trying to figure how much colder it is now because of global warming. Lemme see, 82 minus 5...there's five more. and then ten...der, uhhh...hey Josh, can I see your toesies?

Josh: huh huh huh you knows you can, I gots on my Birkenstocks, huh huh huh.

Dave: Minus ten more...der...well that is more than 40 degrees colder now.

Josh: I hope the big watery ocean don't swallow up New York City.

Dave: Well ifn it does at least we will have free health care in six years.

Josh and Dave: huh huh huh Huh...Hoosierboy is so stupid.

Weekend funny

Barack Obama got out of the shower and was drying off when he looked
in the mirror and noticed that he was white from the neck to the top of his head.

In a sheer panic and fearing he was turning white all over,
he called his doctor and told him what had happened.
The doctor advised him to come to his office immediately.
After an examination, the doctor mixed a concoction of brown liquid,
gave it to Barack, and told him to drink it all.

Barack drank the concoction and said,
"That tasted like bullsh*t!"

"It was." the doctor replied, "You were a quart low."

Saturday

Cold and windy here at the homestead. Highs expected in the 50's. The wind is howling at a steady 20-30 mph with higher gusts. Not a good day at all. The weather man is talking FROST tonight. weehaw. It was 80 yesterday. Frost tonight.

Enjoy your Saturday. here is a little earworm for you:

A very special post for you

Dear person in the car in front of me at the drive-through ATM this morning,

It is a drive-through ATM. There is no need to park and walk up to the machine. I know your window works, because you had it down. The reason you had to bend over to use the machine was because it was designed to be seen from inside a vehicle.

More importantly, if you are over the age of 12, and the controls and intricacies of operating an ATM leave you flummoxed and confused, you have no business handling money. If it takes you nearly SEVEN FUCKING MINUTES to make a withdrawl, you should step away from the confusing machine and re-evaluate your life.

You are a waste of valuable oxygen. You are clearly dumber than a brick. How do you operate your car? Do you need help with the toaster too? Is your name Josh or maybe Dave? Are you angry no operator's manual came with your last purchase of Charmin? Do you need a recipe to prepare cereal? I bet you are a Hopey Changey Obama man through and through.

Go home, find a suitable firearm, and disconnect your very tiny brain.

Your Friend,

Hoosierboy

Friday Covers

The Yardbirds version


Zep covers it in a live version


The greg Kihn band takes on the classic


How about Richie Sambora (Bon Jovi) from the show American dreams


Finally a version by Peter Noone from Hermin's Hermits

President Obama again proves he does not understand words

If anyone was unclear about President Obama's distaste for the new Arizona immigration law, he cleared it up at his Cinco de Mayo celebration in the White House Rose Garden Wednesday night.

"We can’t start singling out people because of who they look like, or how they talk, or how they dress," the president said. "We can’t turn law-abiding American citizens, and law-abiding immigrants, into subjects of suspicion and abuse."

source
'Law abiding'...except that pesky federal infraction of entering the country ILLEGALLY. What a fucking douchebag. If anyone can show me in the Arizona law the requirement to only go after people with brown skin, I will quit blogging forever -- after posting naked pictures of my ass crack. I repeat, what a fucking lying douchebag.

I never thought in my lifetime I would use that term to describe the President of the United States. Obama is starting to make not only Carter, but Buchanan look good. Shit, Wilson was a better President and he was unconscious most of his second term.

A day in the life

The wife, boy and I went to a nearby town to eat at a pizza buffet. It was most excellent.

Across the aisle was an elderly couple. Just after we got our food, they rose to leave. As the old lady got up she let out a monumental fart. This baby was a two to three second long duck quack.

Immediately, one of the true laws of nature known to men the world over was again proven true:

Farts are funny.

The boy and I instantly broke into laughter. The wife even smiled. You would have too.

Henceforth Illegals will be known as Undocumented Democrats

Co ink a dink

Once again, The Obama and Janet "the system works" Napolitano are trying to convince the American public that a potential mass murderer is just a crazy guy reacting to stress.

That once again the fact a potential terrorist has a Muslim surname is merely a coincidence.

Just think, there are some liberal sites that claim I am so stupid I should not be allowed to have children (really), yet they believe that "stressed out guy" bullshit.

Memories

My dad had this big black leather chair and foot stool. Maybe it was pleather. He has not had it for probably 25 or 30 years, but when I think of my Dad's chair, that is the one that comes to mind.

It was more than four decades ago and I woke with a bad dream, or had to go pee, or just could not sleep. It seemed like the middle of the night, but I am sure it was not that late. Dad let me climb up into his chair with him, if I would be quiet and watch the movie. He was eating potato chips and he let me have some.

Dad was watching PT 109. I remember with vivid detail the Japanese destroyer cutting the 109 in half. I remember the men swimming and swimming. I remember falling asleep snuggled with my Dad.

I am not sure how old I was, but pretty small. IMDB tells me PT 109 came out in theaters in 1963. It had to be 1965 or so before it came to TV. I would guess I was three or four at the most. This episode remains one of my fondest memories.

I watched PT 109 Sunday. I talked to my Dad. He is doing fine.

Hangings

My office is a home office. That means it is a former bedroom. My office has cathedral ceilings, a ceiling fan and one small window.

It is small, 12 x 12, but it works for me. It has my cheapo black desk, a small filing cabinet and a printer/fax. On my desk is my laptop, a phone, a stoneware beer mug full of pens and a stack of papers. I brought the mug home from a trip to Germany. It features a drawing of the Bamberg Rites Rathaus. There is a cube of note paper and a very small container of paperclips. A coaster supports my coffee mug. The coaster has the Cubs logo.

The back of my desk has some shelves and cubbyholes. They hold a calculator, some files and a stapler. On top of the desk shelves is a plant, a coffee mug my son brought me from Japan and my awesome humidor.

There is a blue checked camel-backed couch and a 12 inch TV in my office. There is a ladder back chair in the corner.

There is a long dress my wife bought for my daughter's wedding and my daughter's wedding dress hanging on the frame of the closet. A large poster of the famous Beatles crossing Abby Road is above the closet, a remnant of the days when this was my daughter's bedroom. There is a copy of a black and white photo featuring Frank, Dean and Peter Lawford walking down the streets of Vegas hanging near my desk. A date of issue Frank Sinatra stamp is stuck in the frame.

On the couch, waiting to be hung, is a terrific large picture of Wrigley Field my wife gifted me yesterday. She said she saw it and thought I would like it. She was right. Some days it is good to be me.

There you have a boring post about my workplace. This is the place I hang for many hours each day. What is in your "office"?

Sarah Palin is sure dumb

I cannot believe she claimed there were 57 states. How about her health plan that would save employers 3,000%? And now she has shown her lack of international policy expertise by claiming Europe is a country.

What a maroon..

What?

You say that was not the former Governor of Alaska, but our very own current Commander in Chief, the noob in charge, The Obama, hissownself?

And somehow, in the minds of liberal elitists everywhere Quayle, Reagan, Bush and Palin are all the dumbest politicians to grace the national stage.

Why would we listen to anything you say?

Spot ON

Go read this post by Elisson.

Today's earworm

Here is another 1970s/1980s band from Central Indiana. I bet I saw these guys 30 or 40 times. They used to play at my college on a regular basis. They also played a couple of dances at my fraternity.

Bass player Toby Myers went on to play with John mellencamp.

Today's earworm

This is one of my all-time favoriite songs. Unless you are from Central Indiana, you have likely never heard it. Give it a listen and let me know what you think.

Happy May Day you commie bastards.

A few thoughts on border control

Immigration is not a Democrat vs. Republican issue. Nor is it a left vs. right or conservative vs. liberal or progressive issue. Those who wan to make it so are fueling the fires. Arizona passed a controversial law on immigration last week. There are troubling aspects of the law, but in the ferocious debate we have lost sight of the real problem.

Arizona felt compelled to try to control illegal immigration because the federal government has failed to do so. For at least a decade members of both parties have ignored the festering wound in hopes that inaction will lead to a generation of votes. Bush wanted amnesty for the same reason Obama supports it -- the party that appears to champion Latino issues will garner the largest growing voting block in America. That very notion my friends, makes me sick to my stomach.

The issue is very clear. Do you believe the United States is a sovereign nation and as such, has an obligation to control the borders and immigration or do you believe the fruits of America should be open to all? It is impossible to make a distinction between the guy that mows your yard, the maid that cleans your hotel room and the drug kingpin terrorizing a neighborhood. They all came across the border illegally. Those of you who are in favor of amnesty, do you have the capability to look at that protester waving the Mexican flag and determine that protester A is a hard-working restaurant busboy and protester B is a cocaine mule? I sure can't.

My home town has a serious problem with illegal immigration. The little town of 16,000 has become nearly 30% Hispanic in the past 10 to 15 years. A significant amount of that population growth is illegal aliens, undocumented workers, whatever. The impact upon the community is profound. The societal and political infrastructure is strained to the breaking point. Taxes have risen dramatically as the city tries to add police and fire protection. Health and safety inspectors are strained as increasing complaints of 10, 15, or 20 people are reported living in single family dwellings. The schools have had to hire aides, instructors and translators to manage the non-English speaking students. Every sign, posting and weekly newsletter in the school is posted in both Spanish and English. The courts have been forced to hire translators and legal aids that speak Spanish. We can debate the good or evil of such requirements and necessities, but we cannot deny such actions have a cost to the taxpayers.

Residents in that town face higher automobile rates. The number of uninsured motorists is higher in that town than those of similar size in the state. The local record in the paper demonstrators that more tickets and accidents can be attributed to those with Hispanic surnames. The hospital is strained to the breaking point as the emergency room is filled with people seeking treatment for ailments that should be covered as routine doctor visits. The point being that the influx of immigrants legal and illegal has ramifications. This is not about skin color.

Today we see many immigrants coming to America to make a better life. But they come not to add to the rich melting pot that is America, but to suckle at the nation's lifeblood like a tick on a hound. They come for the opportunity and stay for the benefits. They want to bring Mexico to the US. There is little attempt to learn the language and the culture. Many of the Southern border towns have become to resemble Mexico, and those immigrants left Mexico for a reason.

I have no beef with those who came here legally. My own family did the same. I do have an issue with anyone whose first act upon crossing American soil is to commit a crime. Entering the country illegally is a crime. This is not a human rights issue, a brown skin issue, a language issue, a culture issue. The debate is whether we are going to be a nation of laws, or a nation of suggestions. I am not sure how an administration that is concerned about our health insurance, our salt intake, our oil usage, the setting on our thermostat, and what investment risks we take, can be so unconcerned about controlling illegal immigration.

It is a duty of the Government to control the borders, to protect the citizens of this country. When we do not enforce the laws on the books there are ramifications. We do not know if that guy struggling through the desert is a man looking to feed his family, a mule carrying drugs, a terrorist sneaking in to blow up our children, or a criminal escaped from Mexican jail. When the feds refuse to enforce and protect the border, we invite Arizona to do the job.

Today's words of wisdom

I am sure many of you have seen this, but I received this in an email from my brother (hola Otter!). This is "the glass is half full" kind of thinking we need:

What a unique way to look at things!

Written by an 82 year old , very wise lady. She gives us a whole new slant on the amazing job Obama is doing:

That is right - I will say it "(THANK GOD FOR THE PRESIDENT)."

1. He destroyed the Clinton Political Machine - Driving a stake thru the heart of Hillary's Presidential aspirations - something that no Republican was never able to do. Remember when a Hillary Presidency scared the daylights out of you!

2. He killed off the Kennedy Dynasty - No more Kennedy's trolling Washington looking for booze and women wanting rides home. American women and Freedom are safer tonight!

3. He is destroying the Democratic Party before our eyes!

Dennis Moore had never lost a race - quit

Evan Bayh had never lost a race - quit

Byron Dorgan had never lost a race - quit

Harry Reid - soon to be GONE

These are just a handful of the Democrats whose political careers Obama has destroyed! By the end of 2010 dozens more will be gone.

In December of 2008 the Democrats were on the rise. In the last two election cycles they had picked up 14 senate seats and 52 house seats. The press was touting the death of the Conservative Movement and the Republican Party. In just one year, Obama put a stop to all of this and will probably give the house, if not the senate back to the Republicans.

4. He has completely exposed liberals and progressives for what they are. Every Generation seems to need to relearn the lesson on why they should never actually put liberals in charge. He is bringing home the lesson very well.

Liberals tax, borrow and spend - check

Liberals won't bring themselves to protect America - check

Liberals want to take over the economy - check

Liberals think they know what is best for everyone - check

Liberals aren't happy till they are running YOUR life - check

5. He has brought more Americans back to conservatism than anyone since Reagan. In one year he has rejuvenated the Conservative movement and brought out to the streets millions of Freedom Loving Americans. Name me one other time in your life that you saw your friends and neighbors this interested in taking back America !

6. His amazing leadership has sparked the greatest period of sales of firearms and ammunition this country has seen. Law abiding citizens have rallied and have provided a "stimulus" to the sporting goods field while other industries have failed, faded or moved off-shore.

7. In all honesty one year ago I was more afraid than I have been in my life. Not of the economy but of the direction our country was going. I thought Americans had forgotten what this country was all about. My neighbors, friends and strangers proved to me that my lack of confidence of the Greatness and Wisdom of the American people was flat wrong.

8. When the American People wake up no smooth talking teleprompter reader can fool them!

Barack Obama woke up these Great Americans! Again I want to say Thank You Barack Obama! This is exactly the kind of hope and change we desperately needed.

Quick hits

I know most of you do not click links, but here is one you must read, especially if you are outraged by Arizona's attempts to crack down on illegal migration. What would you think of these provisions to immigrate to our nation:

– If outsiders do not enhance the country’s “economic or national interests” or are “not found to be physically or mentally healthy,” they are not welcome. Neither are those who show “contempt against national sovereignty or security.” They must not be economic burdens on society and must have clean criminal histories. Those seeking to obtain...citizenship must show a birth certificate, provide a bank statement proving economic independence, pass an exam and prove they can provide their own health care.

source
Those are the laws of Mexico, the very same Mexico where President Calderon calls the Arizona provisions "intolerant".

I am not always right. I am sure that is a shocker to most of you. Members of my family, if they could read this, would fall on the floor in shock. But I am firm in my beliefs. I will fight for what I believe is right. I have been mocked and abused for standing on my conservative principles. If, in the course of debate I learn my position is incorrect, I own up to it. It is called having the courage of your convictions.

Huh?

So Arizona passes a law that says local Law Enforcement Officers will enforce Federal Laws ALREADY ON THE BOOKS. Is there anybody on the left that understands the definition of Illegal?

When any crime happens, police often ask everybody in the immediate area for identification. If a speeding car is pulled over and it appears the occupants of said auto are intoxicated, then all are asked for identification. Arrests are made accordingly if some of the riders are under age. isn't that profiling? What is the difference?

I can only hope more states join Arizona. maybe then the Feds will understand we want controlled immigration -- not criminals.

edit. Here is the text of the law. Note the law only acts in enforcing existing Federal Law.

Section 1. Intent
The legislature finds that there is a compelling interest in the cooperative enforcement of federal immigration laws throughout all of Arizona.

Dream Weaver

I had to scoot down to the Pocket City, Dale Evans favorite berg, on Sunday evening to be there for a Monday morning meeting.

I woke in the early morning hours in a cold sweat. I rarely dream, but I just had a doozy. I dreamed I died in my sleep, in a hotel. Was it heart attack or stroke? I have no idea. I was looking down on my body lying in the bed, bowls empty, eyes staring at nothing in the far distance. I saw the maid come into the room and scream. She crossed herself and spoke Spanish to my corpse.

I know some things. I do not want to be buried with shoes or socks on. The Cubs will break my heart. Beef and noodles must be served with mashed potatoes. I do not want to die alone in a fucking Hampton Inn.

Who Cares?

Yesterday dawned with a light drizzle. I made some coffee and read your blogs. I ate some Raisin Bran well soaked in milk and soggy -- just the way I like it, the consistency of oatmeal.

Since the day was gloomy I decided to watch The Godftaher (do I really need an IMDB link?). As you can imagine, that took up the balance of the morning.

By this time the sun had made an appearance. I checked the grass, it was not too wet, so I decided to mow quickly. The weather quack indicated we would see rain the next several days and if I waited until mid-week, it was going to be ankle high.

I mowed and showered and promptly fell asleep in the chair. The wife woke me up and asked if I wanted to go to the movies. We have not been to the flicks in months. So that is how we came to go see the new Jennifer Lopez flick. It is a chick flick, but still pretty good. Afterward we grabbed a pizza and went home. Ho hum another Saturday Night.

The wife played cards on the computer and I watched the end of the Cubs game. I channel surfed for a little and went to bed around 11:45.

There you have it, a post so boring that it makes drywall seem interesting and exactly why Twitter is not for old people. Twitter should adopt the Logan's Run philosophy. When you turn thirty your account should be terminated.

Obama is mad

Let me understand, The Obama and his Democrat minions are pissed at Arizona. You see, The Grand Canyon State has had the gall to pass a law that says the State will enforce the Federal laws already on the books regarding individuals who enter the Nation illegally.

The people of Arizona think that if you commit a crime you should pay the price. You Arizonians sure have crazy ideas, according to The Obama. In this case, if you are in Arizona (and thus the USA) illegally, the State will detain you and do their best to have you deported. Like many Americans, the people of Arizona believe that your first act upon American soil should not be a crime. In spite of everything you have heard from the amnestyites, law breakers are not model citizens.

But Hoosierboy, this might lead to profiling. Police profile every day, and you are happy they do. Say a guy wearing a red shirt and jeans robs a bank. Would it be reasonable to stop individuals wearing a red shirt and jeans near the just-robbed bank? If we know the robber was a young male wearing a red shirt and jeans would we expect the authorities to question elderly gents in Dockers and blue shirts? Should women be stopped to make sure young men are not profiled? If the robber is white should black youths in red shirts be questioned, just to be fair?

Look, if you are pulled over and you have no drivers licence, no proof of insurance, do not speak English and your car is stolen, it is not unreasonable to question if you have a legal right to be in the State of Arizona.

If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, I see no problem checking for feathers and web feet.

Now I understand

There is no doubt a sports season is more exciting when there is better competition. I think we would all like to see several teams competing for a playoff spot as the seson winds down. That scenario is far better than seeing the Yankees up 13 games by July. The idea of competitive games at the end of the season is behind the scheduling of divisional rivals in the final weeks of the season in the NFL and the basis for the whole "Chase" in NASCAR.

I finally understand the Cubs role this season. There job is to play the celler-dwellers and give them enough victories to make the divisional races more challenging. There is no other explaination for giving up early season series to the Astros (one victory all season before facing the Northsidrs) and the hapless Mets.

The Cubs starting pitching has been mostly pretty good (welcome to the bullpen Z). It is the late releiver that have crippled the team. That and a complete lack of offense. How do you leave 20+ runners stranded in a nine-inning game?

Upon further thought, I think the Cubs are a larger metaphor for my life. Their role is far more personal than I thought. I no longer intone the mantra "Maybe next year". Next year is always the future. There is no curse. Bartman had nothing to do with the collapse. It is just not to be. We all have our roles in life: Charlie Brown, the fat kid who gets sucked up the chocolate tube in Willie Wonka and the Cubs. That is just how things are.

The Three Fates knitting under the tree in Valhalla decided a long time ago the Cubs would exist to break my heart. The Cubs are the daily disapointment in my life, their chronic failure exisits to get me used to it. Just as we get used to certain levels of pain, so the big disapointments that seem to curse our family hurt a little less.

Best thing heard today

I heard a guy on the radio refer to the Cap and Trade Bill as "The China/India Full Employment Act".

I wish I had said that.

Can someone explain to me why Obama is going after investment banks when it was mortgage banks, specifically Fannie and Freddie that were the instigators in the financial meltdown?

Happy Earth Day

inspired by this post

Reason 4,178 why you wish you were me.

Since I had to go out to visit the bank, I decided to go ahead and visit the grocery as well.

I grabbed a package of bratwurst and a can of sauerkraut for lunch. I grilled a couple of the Brats and ate like a king. I offer up a satisfied belch as proof.

I know some of you are now consumed with jealousy. Hahaha.

I have no pictures, I could not wait to dig in.

I will repeat this lunch on Friday.

Suck eggs big bank

A few months ago we set up a special checking account to save money and pay for wedding expenses (my daughter is getting married in July). The Customer Service Rep at the branch said we qualified for a "premier account". Whatever. The debit card is black instead of blue.

I look at the very small balance this morning and I see we were charged a $20.00 Service Fee. WTF? Not too upset, these things happen, I call the local branch to get it fixed.

The lady asks me a series of questions to determine that indeed I am looking at my own account information and I am me. She says I am charged because I did not have 5 debit transactions in April. I pointed out I had six in the past ten days. Oh.

She thinks I was charged maybe because I did not have $XX minimum balance. I reminded her that there were no minimum balance requirements if I have $XXX in loans. I more than surpass that threshold (sadly). She said the loans were not linked and I would have to come in to the branch.

"For what?" I asked. She said I would have to bring in a photo ID so they could link the accounts. Now I am really confused. She admitted she can see both checking accounts and that it shows on the screen my wife and I have two auto loans. So what is the problem? "They are not linked". I explain she should fix that.

She told me she is not a banker. HUH? I asked just who is a banker, then? She said if I come in she can fix the problem. So I guess if one calls the bank, there are no bankers, but if one takes off work to come in, then there are bankers?

So I guess I take my lunch hour, or use up valuable blogging time, to drive to town so some "banker" can hit a few keys to make sure I am not charged in the future. Then we will get really unpleasant until the $20 Service Fee goes away because some nitwit did not push the right keys when I signed up for this account six months ago.

Mark my words

The Democrats are facing significant loses in the mid-term elections. It is conceivable they may even lose control of the house. Harry Reid's re-election bid looks doomed at this point.

Following the elections, the progressives will see their time in power is at an end. Between November and the end of the year they will ram through every bit of legislation they can, including Cap and Tax and Immigration Reform that includes general amnesty.

The House has already passed Cap and Tax. The Dems will still only be one vote short of stopping a filibuster in the Senate until the newly elected members are seated in January 2011. There are still a number of RINOs and moonbats to vote for legislation that will do nothing to stop the non-existent AGW.

As for amnesty for illegals, well there are still several RINOs in both chambers who will get behind that nonsense.

I tell you Ladies and Gentlemen, we are screwed. The Democrats and RINOs will no longer have the threat of re-election or having to go home and face angry voters to govern their passions.

A lame duck can still do a lot of damage.

Today's earworm

Monday's random thoughts

For the TEA Party to be successful they have to be about more than taxes. If they are pushing for a more Conservative agenda, smaller government, lower taxes, reduced spending, then they have a shot at shaping the political dynamic. They should have held their rallies on April 18 or 19, the anniversary of the opening shots of the American Revolution.

If you study American History, especially the decade or so leading up to the outbreak of hostilities, you understand what drove the Founders and why certain things are included in the Bill of Rights and the Constitution. Anyone who claims the Founders did not purposely desire and design a Federal Government with limited powers is ignorant of history and demonstrates a clear inability to understand the simple English of the Constitution. This is why those on the left are quick to claim the Constitution is just a document written two hundred years ago by a bunch of white guys and holds no relevance today. Of course that fallacy breaks down when you understand the Constitution is the Supreme Law of the land. I have challenged those who claim it is a dead outdated document to show me where it falls short. None has yet risen to the challenge.

In other news, the volcano in Iceland is playing havoc with air travel all over Europe. The volcano has spewed enough CO2 and ash into the atmosphere to equal a decade of car, SUV, factory, coal plant and cow fart emissions. Yet I doubt we will see the ice caps melt, the oceans rise to swallow Manhattan or the farmlands of the Great Plains dry and blow away. Here we have a living example of not only the fallacy of the Global warming/Climate Change theories but the true power of Mother Nature and our inconsequential actions. How many pig tail light bulbs are we going to have to use to counteract this volcano?

We will see some awesome sunsets this summer as the ash reaches the upper atmosphere and reflects the sun. remember the great sunsets after the Philippino Bitch Pinatubo exploded in 1991?

Concord Hymn

By the rude bridge that arched the flood,
Their flag to April's breeze unfurled,
Here once the embattled farmers stood,
And fired the shot heard round the world.

The foe long since in silence slept;
Alike the conqueror silent sleeps;
And Time the ruined bridge has swept
Down the dark stream which seaward creeps.

On this green bank, by this soft stream,
We set to-day a votive stone;
That memory may their deed redeem,
When, like our sires, our sons are gone.

Spirit, that made those heroes dare
To die, and leave their children free,
Bid Time and Nature gently spare
The shaft we raise to them and thee.

by Ralph Waldo Emerson

One spring night

It was a typical spring evening in New England. The night was cool, but the man sweated underneath his clothing. The sounds and smells of the town were around him. He shifted his weight nervously as he waited.

He looked across the harbor at the dim lights of the city. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He glimpsed a tall steeple of a church in the distance. The white steeple looked a ghostly gray in the night. The church moved him to mutter a silent prayer. He was lost in his thoughts for a time.

:There". A voice said beside him. The distant steeple glowed with a lantern hung in the belfry. A second light followed. The man leaped aboard his horse.

"Spread the alarm, 'tis by sea". he said and spurred his mount into the countryside to warn the militia of the surrounding towns. He set off on the Lexington Road to warn Adams and Hancock. The British army was on the move. They must not be arrested, the arms of the colonists not confiscated. The man had not a thought of his own risk, the hard earned wealth he could lose in an instant. Fighting tyranny was worth any price.

He stopped at selected houses and taverns along the road. His whispered message "The Regulars are out", sent other horsemen into the countryside, warning the appropriate 'Minutemen' in Middlesex County. There was no shouting. The message spread across the fields and through the villages with silent efficiency.

Within a few hours the man had arrived in Lexington. He met with Sam Adams and John Hancock. His companion from Cambridge joined them a little after midnight and along with a third patriot set off towards the nearby town of Concord to warn the militia there the British were on the move to collect the arms cache hidden in Concord.

As the man and his companions, William Dawes and Dr. Samuel Prescott, reached the hamlet of Lincoln, they were stopped by a British pickett. Dawes and the Doctor escaped into the dark, but the man had no choice but to submit. As dawn broke the man was being escorted toward the marching army -- back towards Lexington.

Nearing the town the officers and the man, silversmith Paul Revere, heard shouts. Soon shots rang out. The militia had mustered. The colonists had no intention of starting a war. Their only intent had been to bluff the Authorities. As the shots rang out the three British officers made Revere dismount. Taking his horse they rode toward the distant fighting.

Revere walked through the cemetery to the house he was at just a few hours earlier. As citizens and the British Army scuffled on Lexington Green, Revere helped John Hancock and his family escape. As the party fled over the hills, Revere saw the militia he had helped muster fall back toward Concord and history.

Weekend Funny

After a long night of making love
the guy notices a photo of another man
on the woman's nightstand by the bed.
He begins to worry.
'Is this your husband?'
he nervously asks.

'No, silly,'
she replies, snuggling up to him.

'Your boyfriend, then?'he continues.


'No, not at all,'
she says, nibbling away at his ear.


'Is it your dad or your brother?'
he inquires, hoping to be reassured.

'No, no, no! You are so hot when you're jealous!'

she answers.

'Well, who in the hell is he, then?'
he demands.


She whispers in his ear

'That's me before the surgery

Plane Crash

Air Force One crashed in the middle of rural America . Panic stricken, the local sheriff mobilized and descended on the farm in force. When they got there, the disaster was clear. The aircraft was totally destroyed with only a burned hull left smoldering in a tree line that bordered a farm. The sheriff and his men entered the smoking mess but could find no remains of anyone, including the President.

They spotted a lone farmer plowing a field not too far away as if nothing at all happened. They hurried over to the man's tractor.

"Hank," the sheriff yelled, panting and out of breath. "Did you see this terrible accident happen?"

"Yep. Sure did." the farmer mumbled unconcernedly, cutting off t he tractor's engine.

"Do you realize that is the airplane of the President of the United States ?"

"Yep."

"Were there any survivors?"

"Nope. They's all kilt straight out," the farmer answered. "I done buried them all myself. Took me most of the morning..."

"President Obama is dead?" the sheriff shouted.

"Well," the farmer grumbled, restarting his tractor. "He kept a-saying he wasn't...

But you know how bad that sumbitch lies."

Sarah

Sarah Palin's book is exactly the kind of fare you expect from a politician. I have no doubt it is true, but the narrative paints her in the best possible light. It is a long written campaign ad, no more or less. In that instance it is no different than tomes written by politicians for hundreds of years. It is light reading, but so were the writings of Obama, Clinton and TR.

Sarah Palin is not the dumb broad portrayed by the media. No one has the success in her profession she has being a vacant mouth-breathing moron. Those who portray her as such, or perpetuate the myth, are disingenuous at best. You can disagree with her beliefs, but her stance on the issues is shared by a great many Americans. Some polls would suggest her conservative values are those of most Americans. So she did not go to an Ivy League school. Most of us did not either. That does not mean her education is lacking. I went to a small private school. I received an excellent education. I have the Latin inscribed sheepskin to prove it. I may not be able to read my diploma, but that in no way means my education was lacking. In fact my college is consistently ranked in the top colleges in the country. A list of the alumni would impress you, but it was not Harvard or Yale. So what?

I find it laughable that Obama is trying to portray her as lacking. Her knowledge of Nuclear weapons is as complete as the President's. In fact there is no doubt her experience was significantly greater in all areas compared to Obama. On this there is no argument. Look at some of the remarks and actions of some of our elected representatives, The former Governor of Alaska looks a clone of Einstein in comparison. I am pretty sure she at no point EVER believed Guam might capsize, for instance. (Check my archives)

It is a sad state that most Americans are unable to separate the fictional character played on TV with the real Sarah Palin. Sadly, the bias found in today's media is not much different than the "yellow journalism" decried 100 years ago. Future generations will look at today's media in the same historical light.

That said, Palin is unelectable. Her failure to finish her term as Governor is a major obstacle. No matter how she spins the decision (and maybe it was best for the people of Alaska), she quit.

Palin is the most polarizing figure in American politics today. You either love her or hate her. The mass of undecideds will be swayed by the reams of negative press and TV spoofs any run for elective office will create.

Palin is feared by those who call themselves progressive. They fear her values, they fear her popularity. They fear her conservative beliefs. Sarah Palin came within one bailout of getting McCain elected. The left will not make that near-mistake again.

You say you want answers?

In no particular order:

Cappy asked "Is the liver a muscle, or organ?"
Some people like to eat fried chicken livers. Some people like beef liver and onions. I do not like either. All I know is my liver is still functioning to some level. That is good.

Dick inquired "Your preference: Blond, Brunette, or Redhead?"
Brunette, Redhead, Blond. My wife is wasIS a brunette.

Mr. B wanted to know "Have you stopped masturbating yet?"
For now. Typing is hard enough without trying to multitask...

Ted asked "Do you think it will take an American "Tienamen Square" incident to wake the people up to the reality they aren't free anymore (SocMed hasn't gotten the message across)?"
Until people feel it in their pocket, until their lives are changed, NO. As long as 50% or more Americans do not pay taxes, we are screwed.

Jonas and James, I will address Sarah in another post.

Work work work

Working pays the bills. That is what I am doing.

You want to know what?

It is time for another episode of Ask Hoosierboy. You the reader can ask me anything and I will answer in future posts. Ask anything personal questions, history, politics, the everyday conundrums you face.

I have added many readers since we last tried this.

Don't be shy. Ask Hoosierboy.

*&%#@*%@

I am booked on a flight to see a major customer this morning. The company wants us to make our own reservations rather than go through the travel agent. No problem, I have been making my own travel reservations for years, prior to this company.

Boy, did I screw up. I forgot to book a rental car. I remembered this morning. Hertz -- nada. National -- nope. Budget, --zero. In fact there is not a car available at any rental company in my destination city.

Looks like I will be in the car for another 12 plus hour drive each way again this week. At least the car is new...

Oh, and the airline ticket is non-refundable. I will use it next month, at least.

Sucks to be me.

Weekend Funny

Castration under ObamaCare





from my brother

Weekend Funny

During a recent password audit, it was found that a
blonde was using the following password:

"MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento"

When asked why she had such a long password, she said
she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters
long and include at least one capital.





from my brother

F-F-F-Friday

Hello Blog World. What the hell is up with the weather? It was 80- two days ago. Now it is in the 30's. Global Warming indeed.

I just spent 26 hours in the car since Wednesday morning. My ass is so sore. I made a quick trip to New York to turn in and pick up a new company car. I am no longer the driver of a light blue piece-of-shit Ford Taurus. I am now the driver of a brand-new black Ford Fusion. I only played around with it on the fly, but I have to say the Sync System is pretty awesome so far. The car is a little smaller than my old Taurus, but drives very nice. Further on the positive side -- it took less than 1-1/2 tanks of gas to drive from New York to Indiana.

Where's Hoosierboy

F-Ing Cubs

I only have time for a quick post. I am beat. I just arrived at my hotel. Where am I? Good question. I drove. It took a little over 12 hours, counting piss stops, gas stops and lunch at Arby's.

Mountains were involved. No toll roads though. I did stop at a rest stop, but none on the Parkway.

I will be back on the road by 10:00 am tomorrow, I hope.

For you math types a number puzzle might serve as a hint:

65 70 71 76 80

Today's earworm

Sports Commentary

Can we finally dispense with the mid-major nonsense? Why is a college basketball program defined by the BCS football schools? Quick, name the storied programs in College basketball.

UCLA, Duke, North Carolina, Indiana, Kentucky. How many basketball final four and National Championships among those schools? How many winning football seasons? How many BCS championships? How many bowl game wins?

Exactly. Gonzaga, George Mason and Butler are perennial Tourney teams. Why are they defined as something less than top-tier basketball schools? Why does the lack of football success determine their basketball pedegree?

A sportswriter summed last night's game perfectly. The right team won. Had Butler's final shot gone into the hoop, the right team would have won.

I was watching the Cubs game yesterday. It was opening day against Atlanta (f-ing Cubs). There was a fly ball hit to center. The Atlanta center fielder made a diving catch, only the ball fell out of his glove when he hit the ground. The players body hid the roll from the 3rd base umpire, but the TV camera's captured it. The Cubs runner, going to second base saw the drop and proceeded to second base. The player got up, and threw the ball to the short stoop who threw it to first. The umpire (who could not see the drop) called the batter out and the throw to first base was ruled a double play. Since the ball was dropped , both Cubs runners should have been safe.

There was discussion among the umpires, and the Cubs manager argued the calls, but to no avail. the ruling had no effect on the Cubbies poor outing, but the wrong calls were made. I am no advocate for replay or letting the TV cameras dictate the outcome. the human error of the umpire is part of the game. I do believe a player should play with honor. The Atlanta player knew he dropped the ball. Letting the play stand as an out shows the man has no character. Nate McClouth should be ashamed. Your record shows a putout and an assist you do not deserve.

In the 1925 US Open Bobby Jones took a penalty stroke after his ball moved. No one saw it but Jones. yet he took the penalty and it cost him the Open. Too bad McClouth cannot have the same kind of honor in sports.

Ch-ch-changes

Those of you who are regular readers of the Dax Files should already know he has moved to a new site:

http://www.justdamn.com/

My link over there on the sidebar has already been updated.

If you are not a reader of Dax, you should be. Click here to see his new digs.

Final

Damn that was close. What happens if the stripes call that obvious foul on Dukes big guy with less than one minute left? He fouls out and who knows?

Great game anyway.

Halftime

Duke up one point. Butler shooting poorly. Every call going Duke's way. Butler called for every ticky-tack foul while Duke mugs the Bulldogs.

That is my biased take anyway.

Goldfish

crackers, 2 slices of ham and a Dr. Pepper...

Manic Monday

My daughter and her fiancee have scored tickets to tonight's NCAA Men's Basketball Finals. The yare both graduates of Butler University. Both have to work Tuesday, but this is an opportunity to see their beloved Bulldogs, and possibly history in the making.

I heard an interview this morning with Brad Stevens, Butler's youthful head coach. It was a shining example of why he has been so successful. To paraphrase, he said he told his players to play for themselves tonight. He said they were NOT playing for the City, the State, nor for small schools everywhere. Stevens said they do not need that burden. How many coaches would offer just the opposite message?

Mark 16:1-8

When the Sabbath was over, Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James, and Salome bought spices so that they might go to anoint Jesus' body. Very early on the first day of the week, just after sunrise, they were on their way to the tomb and they asked each other, "Who will roll the stone away from the entrance of the tomb?"

But when they looked up, they saw that the stone, which was very large, had been rolled away. As they entered the tomb, they saw a young man dressed in a white robe sitting on the right side, and they were alarmed.

"Don't be alarmed," he said. "You are looking for Jesus the Nazarene, who was crucified. He has risen! He is not here. See the place where they laid him. But go, tell his disciples and Peter, 'He is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him, just as he told you.' "

Trembling and bewildered, the women went out and fled from the tomb. They said nothing to anyone, because they were afraid.

Blah, Blah, Blah -- another Saturday post

Good morning Blog world.

It is warm here in god's country, but the wind is picking up. For those of you who care, there will be some good basketball in the area this evening. I will admit I would not care much, but for the Butler Bulldogs appearance in the NCAA Final Four (copyright etc.). I lost interest in basketball when the IHSAA destroyed the single greatest basketball tourney in the world by putting class basketball in Indiana high schools. At about the same time the NBA became thugball and unwatchable.

I have some serious spring yardwork to do. I still have not cut down last years big grasses. I need to do some serious work in the flower beds as well. If we get any rain at all this weekend, I will have to mow this week, and the mower needs some work -- oil change etc. I really need to replace the blades as well.

I need to go to the store to pick up some items for Easter Dinner. My daughter is hosting her first family get-together this year. I will bring the ham and homemade scalloped spuds and/or mac and cheese. Like many of you we will celebrate the rising of the world's most famous Jew by eating a ham.

I have wasted too much time already on the interwebz. I watched a story last night about the new iPad. It looks perfect for the kind of computer use we have at the HB household. I want one. But it is not to be anytime soon. Finances are strained to the limit with the upcoming wedding. Plus, future models will have more of the bugs worked out. The inability to connect a USB drive or printer is a major problem.

Happy Saturday.

Thanks ObamaCare

here is some great work by Ed Morrisey at HotAir read it here

Seriously, watch this. This is exactly what Reagan meant when he talked about the problem of Big Government.



Hope and Change indeed.

BTW, just how does this reduce the cost of health care and provide insurance for an unknown number of people?

h/t Doug Ross

A brief comment from your author

Lest you think I am just jumping on the bandwagon, I have long been a Butler fan. I have given the school tens of thousands of dollars in recent years. You see, my daughter graduated from Butler last May.

To those bloggers who feel compelled to comment on history -- you should check your facts. You appear even more ignorant when you do not understand basic historical references and Constitutional issues.

Some bloggers think the recent passage of ObamaCare is further evidence of the death of the Republican party and Conservatism in general. Let me see, in the past year Democrats and liberals have seen devastating electoral losses in Virginia (a Purple State), New Jersey (almost as Democrat as it gets) and the loss of the seat held for 50 years by the Kennedy family in Massachusetts. The latter was one expressly on the basis Brown would vote against ObamaCare. Obama campaigned for the loser in every case.

The only way your liberal Congress could pass legislation opposed by nearly 60% of the country was by using parliamentary tricks. The leader in the Senate looks like his re-election bid is doomed. Your President is now getting approval Numbers similar to the awful GW at the end of his term, and the Pelosi has an approval rating in the teens. Experts from both political parties expect the Republicans to win the House, and possibly gain 5-6 seats in the Senate. Some 60% of Americans identify themselves as Conservative.

Unemployment remains high. The federal Deficit is approaching unsustainable levels. Long-serving Democrats are quitting in droves to distance themselves from the surrender administration policies, or to avoid embarrassing defeats in the fall elections.

yep, I guess I would agree things look brighter than ever for the Democrats. The Repubs should just fold up their tent and go away forever.

Maybe we should hope that when the liberals flock to Martha's Vinyard this summer it will tip over and capsize? That is some change I could get behind.