September 19, 2018

End Times

When everybody on earth was dead and waiting to enter Paradise

God appeared and said, "I want the men to make two lines. One line for
The men who were true heads of their household, and the other line for
The men who were dominated by their women. I want all the women to
Report to St. Peter ."
Soon, the women were gone, and there were two lines of men.

The line of the men who were dominated by their wives was a 100 miles
Long, and in the line of men who truly were heads of their household,
There was only one man.

God said to the long line, "You men should be ashamed of yourselves,
I created you to be the head of your household! You have been
Disobedient and have not fulfilled your purpose! Of all of you, only
One obeyed. Learn from him."

God turned to the one man, "How did you manage to be the only one in
This line?"

The man replied, "My wife told me to stand here."

September 18, 2018

Trust me, it happened

Let me see if I have this straight:

Sometime 35 or so years ago a teenager supposedly attacked a girl at a party.

The accuser is not sure when the attack happened.

The accuser says she is not sure where it happened.

The accuser says that she is not sure if there were witnesses beyond the four, no make that two guys in the room, both of whom deny the incident.

But it was really, really traumatic.

The Former Attorney General from California thinks the FBI should investigate.  One would think she would know the difference between a Federal Crime and a local crime.  One would also think she would understand...evidence. You know stuff like when, where, and who?

Democrats say we should call witnesses; valuable witnesses like the therapist that the victim confided in. Or maybe the victim's husband. So we should believe two people whose only knowledge of the supposed incident is what the accuser told them? Are you sure he didn't toss a stray pubic hair on a Coke can too?

Of course the accuser having ties to anti-Trump factions, donations to the Democrat Party, a possible animosity to the Kavenaugh family, and a liberal history has nothing --do you hear me -- nothing to do with the sudden resurfacing of memories of an incident so traumatizing, so painful, so horrible that she forgot them for three decades and still finds the details a bit fuzzy.

I know the exact date I had the first kiss with my wife. I know the very spot I first got laid. Neither of these was an alleged assault. I would think that would be at least a bit memorable.

I wonder how many women on the Judicial Committee would give credence to a woman who claimed their husband assaulted her sometime in the past but the "victim" could not remember where or when?

Maybe we should ask Keith Ellison?

Rogering the deep state

And that, Mr. Obama, is how you do "transparency".

Now, if the press will report it, we will see how the leftist political appointees and Democrats conspired to steal an election.

September 17, 2018

How Things Work

Ever since the election of 2016, the losers have gone out of their way to complain that the system is unfair. In fact, it is only unfair in that the leftist candidate lost.

Since actual history is no longer taught in schools, I will present a brief overview of How Things Work. I know, I see your eyes glazing already.  Stick with me, it will be quick and painless.

There are a couple of things you have to grasp to understand our government. First, the United States of America is exactly that -- a collection of independent states joined together in a union. The various States are not provinces, nor administrative districts like your townships or counties. The States are independent.  That is why there is a separate driver's license for Ohio, or Indiana, or Alabama and not a national license.  That is why California can implement its own fuel standards. The Feds regulate commerce among the States -- New York cannot slap a tariff on New Jersey grown tomatoes, for instance. For those of you who think this should not be so, then how would you feel about New York or Illinois being forced to adhere to Mississippi's educational standards or Texas gun laws?  That is what I thought.

Two, we are a representative government, not a democracy. Repeat that several times until you get it.  The founders recoiled at the very idea of a true democracy.

OK, to the meat of the issue. By design, the States elect the President, not the People. Thus the Electoral College. The majority of votes wins the States' electors, the electors then vote for the President according to population. The majority has its way, the minority has its say. The President is elected indirectly by popular vote as dictated by the population of the various states. I should note, each State determines the method for choosing electors. See point one above.

Now to address the recent cry of sore losers everywhere. They argue that some States are over-represented in our government and others are under-represented. They could be no more wrong.

The House of Representatives is apportioned according to population. that is why California has 53 members in the House while Alaska has but one. The Representatives are apportioned equally based upon population.

The Senate represents the States. Every State is equally represented by two Senators. This keeps the majority from imposing its will on the smaller States. No State is over-represented, they all have two votes. This is no bug, but rather a feature. The big, populous States carry weight in the House, things are equaled in the Senate.  This is not hard to understand, unless one chooses not to.

Failure of your candidate or party to win elections is not an indication things are "unfair" nor "broken". It is means the designed system of checks and balances has worked. The primary driver in the design of our government is to prevent tyranny. The three branches balance each other, the large states are balanced against the smaller states. it is pure genius.

As always, I welcome your rebuttal in the comments.

September 16, 2018

Thick as a brick

I'm not sure if there has been any news coverage about it, but a hurricane made landfall in the Carolina's on Friday and has dumped a bunch of rain. Weather "experts" would have you think this is an unprecedented event and climate change is about to kill us all. Sure 8 or 10 inches of rain over a few days is a bad thing. Twice that is worse. Heck, we had over five inches in a couple of days here last week. To put things in perspective  Mount Wai'ale'ale on Kaua'i averages 373 inches of rain a year and was drenched with 683 inches in 1982. Reunion Island got nearly 72 inches of rain in 24 hours back in 1966.  That is six feet of rain. Not annually, in one freaking day. So how about we dial down the panic rhetoric a tad about Florence? 

It is clear this dude went into "reporting" because he is a terrible actor. 

September 15, 2018

All about the salsa verde

Good morning, fellow 'Muricans and Canadians and Earthlings, if you prefer. We will once again present today's offering in plain old English, so if that is not your preferred language, I can only opine that it sucks to be you. Not from any strong xenophobic passion, but rather that American English is my language of choice. My wit and wisdom is only available in that format.

And because I am only fluent in English. In the Hoosier patois at that.

You Britishers can just get over the spelling. There ain't no "U" in color.

Where was I going before you started griping about language?

Heck if I know.

Yesterday was my favorite daughter's birthday. Yes, I admit it. So what? Sure, she is my only daughter, so it is pretty easy to name her my favorite daughter. We went out for Mexican food to celebrate. I had no need to stretch my limited Spanish vocabulary. It is easy to order tacos.

Unlike certain bands currently playing in the background, I have never been through the desert on a horse with no name.

In my case, it was Scout.

I'm not aware of any important weekend plans. I have to cut the grass. There is a bit of excitement, should you care to live vicariously through my adventures. My eye drops are ready for pick up down at the drug store. I better stop there, I'm not sure you can handle the sheer adrenaline rush of all this seat-of-the-pants thrill ride that is my life. I don't care if you are wearing an official imitation Indiana Jones hat, it is probably just too much to handle.

Does this become more entertaining and worthwhile if you read it out loud?

Go back to the beginning and do it. I need to know.

I can only hope you are sitting at the doctor's office or standing in line at WalMart when you do it.  Even better, I envision you sitting at your favorite dining establishment, waiting on your food, reading this at full voice. Because of course the louder the better. Turn up the volume to eleven, give us some "room-filling energy!", as my speech teacher used to advise the class. Everyone at Chez Patrice, Applebee's, or Arby's wants to hear my words of wisdom. Really.

You better stop reading out loud now. It is creating a feedback loopy-thing, you reading out loud about reading out loud. Sorry it is just weird. What made you think that was a good idea?

September 14, 2018

Housekeeping matters

Hah, I don't mind the spam comments. They are easily wiped away. I just wish the "I learned a lot from this post" and "this is great information", etc. comments were on a posts that were real commentary, not throw away posts of a line or two. Especially a post from a decade or so ago.

I was looking at my referral logs. It seems a porn site has taken a great liking to my work.  Thanks for sending links over here. I'm not sure what I have offered that encouraged this linkage, but I will take every visitor I get.

September 13, 2018

The fifer is on the capstan

Thursday. It feels like this week has been 9 or 10 days long already, yet I toil on. Friday will be here soon.

On the bright side, I have dumped multiple posts on you in recent days. It reminds me of the old days.  Sure, some of the posts are from the old days...

But it is not like I have raised rates around here. 

If you are really unhappy I will freely refund your paid subscription. You cannot ask more than that.

"Fair" is my middle name.

September 12, 2018

The same, only different

A lady goes to the doctor and complains that her husband is losing interest in sex. The doctor gives her a pill, but warns her that it's still experimental. He tells her to slip into her husband's mashed potatoes at dinner. So that night she does just that.

A week later she is back at the doctor and and says "Doc, the pill worked great! I put it into his potatoes like you said. Not even five minutes later he jumped up, raked the dishes and food onto the floor, ripped off all of my clothes and ravished me right there on the table!"

The Doctor says, "I'm sorry, we did not realize the pill was so strong. The drug company will pay for the broken dishes and any damages."

"Nah", she says, "That's OK. We're not going back to that restaurant anyway."

Proving that great set ups and punchlines are universal. I originally [published this joke back in September of 2013

How paint got me kicked out of church

Three couples went to visit the minister to see how to become members of his church. The minister said that they would have to go without making love for two months and then come back and tell him how it went.

The first couple was retired, the second couple was middle-aged and the final couple was newlywed.

Two months went by, and the couples returned to the minister. The retired couple said it was no problem at all. The middle-aged couple said it was a bit tough the first month but then it was not a problem. The newlyweds said it was fine until the woman dropped a can of paint.

“A can of PAINT??!” exclaimed the minister.

“Yeah,” said the newlywed husband. “She dropped the can and when she bent over to pick it up I had to have her right there and then. Lust just took over.”

The minister just shook his head and said: “You two sinners are not welcome in my church!”

“That’s okay,” said the man. “We’re not welcome at Home Depot, either.”

How to get more of what you hate most

As a denizen of Hicksville, one of "those people" who live in flyover country, I want to offer a piece of advise to my "betters" on the coasts. Yes, I know we are responsible, collectively, for the election of President Trump (more importantly, the defeat of Hillary) . Still i have a word of caution: to some of us you are starting to appear unhinged.

A group has sued to take away the liqueur license from the Trump Hotel in Washington DC because supposedly the man whose name is on the hotel is "amoral" and unfit to hold said license, despite the fact that the hotel is owned by a corporation. You can look the story up yourself. This the sort of all out "resistance" and attack that leaves many of us scratching our heads and thinking you really are deranged.

Joe Scarborough pens an editorial claiming Trump is worse for America than the 9/11 hijackers? Are we really supposed to believe he is an unbiased "journalist"? I'm not aware of any Americans murdered by the President. So far, I put the score at about 3,000 to 0, terrorists winning.

Maxine Waters started calling for Trump to be impeached before he was even sworn in. This weekend she said once Trump is gone they will impeach Pence. Does anyone even understand that a crime has to be committed before someone can be removed from office? Perhaps something akin to lying under oath (perjury) or sexual harassment of an intern? Not agreeing with someone politics is not a reason to boot them. That is not how it works.

This is how banana republics are born, however.

September 11, 2018

Who are you

I am not real. I am the dreams, nightmares, and fantasies that swirl in your brain late at night. I am the right wing whiteboard that helps you organize your thoughts. I am the thunder in the distance, the flash of a summer lightening bug. I am the warm blanket you pull up to your chin, the rich velvety hot fudge on your ice cream. I am the spark shooting into the summer sky from a pine log fire, the soft snowflake melting on your eyelash. I stretch like taffy, compress like rubber, and am strong as tempered steel. I am an exceptional man, an average Joe. I make up the top ten percent of the median. I am an enigma, a question mark, the guy next door. I am a Boy Scout, a reprobate, the penultimate environmentalist litterbug. I am a staunch meat eating vegan. Women want me, men want to be me. I am the shyest exhibitionist you have ever seen. I am legend in my mind, yet when you see me on the street you exclaim "I know that guy!". I coached your kids, mentored your kid brother and fed your Mom false information. I have been described as the north end of bi-polar disorder. I troll the interwebz from the non-existent basement of my two story ranch located deep in the heart of the inner-city suburbs. I am a progressive right-winger, dispensing political truth in measured doses. Your only required prescription is an open mind. Indeed, despite older claims to the contrary, I am the walrus. 

From a post I wrote in 2012.  I have no idea what it means even today.

nine eleven

As I have stated often, if you need me to remind you of this anniversary, you are probably reading the wrong blog.

September 10, 2018

The SCOTUS confirmation hearings brings this to mind

Fixing baseball, and that is not a reference to the Black Sox

I love baseball. I always have. I have occasionally scorned and decried the changes and proposed changes to the game in an effort to "speed it up".  I especially hate the idea of "ghost runners on second" and changing batters in the latter stages of the game.  The odious DH rule bears no discussion whatsoever.

HERE is an intelligent and cogent article on the current issues in in MLB and a common-sense means to correct the problems without changing the fundamental rules of the game.

I can only guess the editor somehow stripped the "get-rid-of-the-designated-hitter" part of the plan.

September 9, 2018

Not even a little surprised

Long ago a blogger who went by the name Big Dick used to comment here. His blog was funny and irreverent and the term "politically incorrect" did not even begin to describe it. I enjoyed his work immensely. Big Dick is also me of the few bloggers I have met.

He quit blogging, like many did, quite a long time ago.

I was reading some of my old blog posts this morning (never mind why). I ran across a comment from Big Dick and he mentioned he was spreading his good cheer on the Twitter platform.

I clicked on the link. I am not surprised to learn his Twitter feed had been suspended. If you remember Big Dick, you will not be surprised either.

I also bet he is just a bit proud of his reprimand.

Here is to you Big Dick.

Say it ain't so

I just read one of the most disappointingly sad lines:

The Iowa Caucasus start in just 16 months

I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.

Aren't we still arguing over the last election?

September 8, 2018

I was standing on a corner

Steady rain beats on the roof as the remnants of TS Gordon hangs around again this morning. A couple of inches of rain fell yesterday and equal amounts are predicted for today. The lawn is waterlogged and I expect that daylight will reveal a mini stream flowing through the low place near the fence. Temperatures have dropped to a decidedly fall-like low sixties.

I hazarded the monsoon last night to pick up a pizza for dinner. We stayed inside warm and dry and watched a movie on Netflix.

My Echo Dot is playing softly in the background as I type. This just came on while I was typing about the rain:

How weird is that? I guess my Amazon Overlord really is spying upon me! I thought it was cornea implants I got a couple of years ago. It must have been tracking implants...

Hey, could you Amazon guys help me sleep late on the weekend? I'm tired of waking up at 4:30 on a Saturday morning.

September 7, 2018

Winner, winner

Bow before my greatness. Genuflect to my superior intellect. Tremble in fear of my awesome mind, for I have triumphed in an Internet trivia contest. I am an HQ Trivia champion.

Yes, I beat out some 300,000 competitors to emerge victorious without even using an earned extra life. I would place a video of Queen's We are the Champions here if I did not find the song and the band almost as odious as Steve Miller and Aerosmith.

The prize was a nice $5,000.

I should point out that I was not the only winner: about four thousand shared the pot. My cut was right at $1.25. Still, that is a buck and a quarter I did not have before and I am a winner!

September 6, 2018

NASA, we have a problem

I have always enjoyed politics as a fairly entertaining spectator sport. I enjoyed armchair quarterbacking. No more.

Things have become so toxic I just want to step away. When things get so vulgar that a candidate's children cannot watch his confirmation hearing it is a problem. When unelected bureaucrats attempt a Praetorian coup over the duly elected president, we have a problem. When reasonable people cannot agree to disagree, because there are no more reasonable people, we have a problem.  When we can no longer discuss a policy on its merits, but rather just how racist you are for supporting or not supporting said policy, we have a problem.

I read the comments on a sports article last night. It was about the Colts. The comments turned into a discussion of Trump/Kneeling/name calling/hysterics before 10 people even commented on the innocuous article.

I like politics. They are not my life.  It may consume a great deal of my ranting on these pages, but it is not my being.  If it is yours, I suggest you get a grip, examine your life, and relax.

September 4, 2018

Why I do not play golf

Two men are trying to get in a quick eighteen holes, but there two women golfers in front of them who are taking quite a long time to play each hole.

The first guy says, “Why don’t you go over and ask if we can play through?” The second guy gets about halfway there, turns and comes back. The first guy says, “What’s wrong?”
He says, “One of them is my wife, and the other is my mistress.”

The first guy says, “That could be a problem. I’ll go over.” He gets about halfway there and he turns and comes back, too.

The second guy says, “What’s wrong?”

The first guy says, “Small world!”

Reporting for duty

Back to work. Blah. I need a vacation to recover from my holiday.

I've been up since about three. I dozed a bit from 5-6:30. I just cannot shut off my brain or block out worries like I used to.

I'm back. Sorry about that. I just remembered it is Tuesday, not Monday. I had to put the trash cans out by the curb.

You can relax, there is no political screed today, just a boring reporting-in post. I am alive. I have been blessed by God. I have plenty to be thankful for (poor grammar notwithstanding).

Have a great Monday Tuesday.

September 3, 2018

Puttin' in the work on Labor Day

If you are due to drop a baby today I wish you joy. I hope you have an easy Labor Day.

I am composing this post on my crappy old laptop because my crappy Gen 1 iPad battery died yesterday.  The plug was blocked in by furniture piled in my office. *

I read where protesters are going to try and shut down O'Hare Airport in Chicago today to demonstrate against violence. Yes, because people flying out of the airport are killing youths on the South Side. OK. It makes perfect sense, except it makes no sense at all. This protest is akin to me being sick of the dog barking next door so I will block the entryway at Whole Foods.

I bet the leader of the protest did awful on that section of standardized tests where you have decide "square is to rectangle as rain is to...".

You know what?  I am going to boycott buying a Rolls Royce until the violence ends on Chicago's South Side.

Protest leader The Reverend Gregory Livingston says he wants business investment on the South and West sides "commensurate" with investments on the North side. Does this guy understand the basics of business? Private people put up money to grow and create business opportunities. The City of Chicago is not paying for the building and construction around Wrigley Field, the Ricketts Family is. The city did not build the building my company is located in, my boss did. Does The Reverend think that by making business executives miss their flights he will make them suddenly decide to build their next office building beside Cabrini Green?** Worse, does he buy into the whole "you did not build that" rhetoric of the far Left in the Democrat Party?  Does Livingston think that the Government creates businesses, factories, and jobs?  Perhaps he should have taken an economics class or two before divinity school.

People in Libertyville and Waukegan are not shooting 50 or 60 people of color on a hot summer weekend. The people in the neighborhoods on the south and west sides are shooting their own. Maybe the protests should stay a little closer to home and attack the root of the problem, not figuratively pour Roundup on a patch of weeds in the next county in hope their own plot of ragweed and dandelions shrivels and dies through osmosis or something.

I'm sick of the constant road construction here on the North Side of Indy. I think a protest down at Gulf Shores in order.

Ah, it is a Holiday. What say we enjoy an end of summer cookout and relax?

* I'm cleaning carpets this weekend in case you did not read the previous posts (shame on you). We just have the living room to put back in order. The carpet should be dry this morning.  Then we have to decide if I am going to clean my office and the master bedroom. Moving furniture from those rooms is an issue.  I steadfastly refuse to dismantle the bed. 

**yes, I know that notorious housing project was demolished in 2011. I'm making a point.

September 2, 2018

Doing the heavy lifting

Greetings fellow Earthlings. We are in the midst of a long weekend of work here at the old homestead. Earlier in the week the forecast called for rain all weekend so the Boss declared we would clean carpets. Clean carpets we shall, even though the weather has been very nice indeed.

I got about half the house done yesterday. We have to put that furniture back to clear the other rooms to clean today. The wife is still deep in slumber so I can take a few minutes to goof off on the blog before I am driven back to toil and effort.

My coffee is hot and I'm jonesing for a bowl of cornflakes.

What is happening in your world this holiday weekend?

August 31, 2018

The United States Did it, Get over it

Hollywood has done it again.  They have taken the most American of American moments and watered it down so they do not offend anyone who does not love America like you and know like leftist Democrat Hollywood types.  The new movie about Neil Armstrong erases the fact that the famed astronaut planted a US flag on the moon.  Erased, as if it it never happened, The star of the flick thinks Armstrong would have planted a UN Flag, had it been an option.


Look, like it or not, the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA is the only nation to go to the moon. Not once, not twice, we put men on the moon six separate times. They planted the good old Stars and Stripes in the heavy dust and rock. Those are the plain, unvarnished facts. If you cannot handle that truth then you can go suck a rotten egg.

The Ruskies did not do it. The Chinese have not done it. Nor have the French, British, Japanese, Koreans, Nigerians, Cubans, Canadians, Venezuelans, or Mexicans. No nationality you can name has managed to walk on the moon. The UN cannot even manage to keep the peace in the middle east (or anywhere actually); they sure never manned a mission to the moon.

I always welcome opposing views in the comments. Not today. If you think this omission is OK, then I will ridicule you, I will taunt you, I will show you for the ignorant Digger Leveler historically bereft moron you really are.  I have more respect for the ignoramuses who think the moon landings were fake than anyone who hates the very idea that  the US of A deserves credit for putting a human being on the moon. If you do not see a problem with erasing the US flag from the movie, I will go so far as to tell you you can go fuck yourself.

With a woo hoo and a woot

I motored down to the nearby emporium and grabbed a box of freshly-baked donuts this morning. I'm celebrating Friday in a right and proper manner. I won't bore you further with the mundane and banal description of the various types and flavors I purchased. The point is DONUTS. You eat your heart out. I will eat the donuts.

In political news Trump did something so egregious he must be pilloried. The rest of us are racists and the only reason we are not burning crosses on our lawns is a lack of kerosene. Rich white people who read stuff other people write said so on the TV.

Seriously, did you read the unhinged screed from former Secretary of Labor under Clinton, Robert Reich? He claims the Presidency of Donald Trump is so horrible, so evil, so seeped in illegitimacy that mere impeachment is not enough. Reich says the entire election must be annulled as if it never happened. All bills signed into law, all appointments, all judicial appointees, all Executive Orders must be erased from fact as if they never happened. No tax cuts, no tariffs, no booming economy, no low unemployment either, I presume. Reich says we just rewind back to January of 2017 and start over. He does not say it, but presumably with Hillary in charge. I guess we just click our heels three times and it all becomes a dream, except Uncle Henry was there, and you, and you...

Hey, remember when the Democrats were indignant, nay outraged, when the Trumpster said he wasn't sure if he could accept the outcome of an election he lost? 

It is a Friday, we are just a work day away from a long weekend. That is worth cheering.

August 30, 2018

Hold your Breath, or don't

I'm still alive.  I suspect you were worried. You probably have the 9 and a pair of 1's already entered on your smart phone, ready to push dial, to alert the authorities that a National Treasure has gone silent.  I am sure of it. Hold off. I am here, faithful denizens of the blogisphere.

I could regale you with tales of my adventures this week, if I had any.

I could offer a rant on the state of politics that would leave you in head-scratching wonder, uttering "that makes so much sense" or "I wish I had written that".

I could entertain you with jokes, anecdotes, or wry observations that make you smile in general bonhomie.

I am capable of it all.

That does not mean I am going to do it.

August 28, 2018

Back when I was eight

In a nostalgic reflection of my far distant youth I enjoyed a peanut butter fluff (marshmallow cream) sandwich on white bread for lunch. I accompanied the sandwich with a little bag of Cheetos and a diet grape soda to wash it all down.

Using the Internet as a free therapy session

Here we are bright and early on a Tuesday morning. I got up to pee at about four and was unable to fall back asleep. That means I will fight dozing this afternoon in my office chair. For now I will sip coffee, surf the interwebz, and listen to classic rock music in the background.

As I sit leaned back in my chair I notice that my second toe is black with dried blood. I stubbed that toe a month or two ago and partially ripped the nail. I have babied it since in an effort to save it. Apparently, I caught it on the sheets during the night and ripped it again.

Aside: there is some benefit to partially numb toes from diabetes

The wife just washed the sheets Sunday. I guess I'll have to throw them in the machine again today. What? That is not what you wanted read about today? You might prefer pictures?

I am ready for the long weekend. I need a vacation desperately. Too bad the spare change jar is empty. I would like to go to someplace tropical. Or subtropical. Or anyplace not here. Sigh. I think it is withdrawal symptoms. I spent 25 years on the road. Now, I travel about one day a month on average with occasional trips to the home office. From a high of 70 plus nights a year spent in hotel rooms with 100 plus flights a year and 40-50,000 miles driven, I have spent 8 or 9 nights in a hotel this year. Most of those nights were spent in a two week period.

Travelling was often a pain and I complained about it often. Just read my archives. It is my nature to complain. But I miss the highways, the "getting there".  I don't necessarily miss the long hours in airports or 12 hour drives, but I miss the road. If you have never travelled as your job, it probably makes no sense.

Business travel is not vacation travel. I spent my time in the industrial side of town in Hampton Inns.  Factories and customers are not usually by the beach.  I ate Arby's and Taco Bell for lunch. Dinner was small restaurants, BBQ joints, or chicken wings. Dining alone was the loneliest part of the road warrior life. I like being home with my wife every night, but I do miss the road.

I really miss the hotel and airline points that allowed us to take some fantastic vacations.

August 27, 2018

The sound of silence

The abolish ICE wing of the Democrat Party are strangely silent this weekend.  A sick, 95 year-old man was lifted from his deathbed and torn away from his family and deported. He had lived here in the US for decades. He had been a hard worker, a productive member of society and immigration officials chose to deport him anyway.

Sure, the man was a despicable Nazi  - real one, not one of the imaginary ones the left sees in every Republican office seeker, so most of us say good riddance and so long with nary a tear in our eye.

I guess the silence of the get-rid-of-ICE- types indicates they really do see a need for immigration control, as long as it is selective immigration control? Of course these creeps lamented the arrest and deportation of an illegal who was "taking his wife to the hospital", ignoring the fact that he was wanted for MURDER, while leading Democrats are far more concerned about the "horrible" separation of families at the border* than the brutal killing of an American citizen by an illegal immigrant, so I guess it is safe to say I will never understand their logic.

* a policy that has been in place since the Clinton administration.

August 26, 2018

Anchor Weighed

Excuse me if I don't join in the chorus and eulogize John McCain.

He served in the Navy and suffered greatly at the hands of the filthy commies while he was incarcerated at the Hanoi Hilton.

He was elected Senator.

There. My Momma told me repeatedly that if I can't say something nice...

August 25, 2018

Adventures in Idiocy

A race car driver has lost one of his major sponsors because his father uttered the forbidden word. You know, the one that starts with the letter that falls between "M" and "O" in the alphabet. Mind you, the driver didn't say "IT", his father did. Oh, and he said it more than 30 years ago in an interview right after he emigrated from Ireland. The sons are now punished for the father's sins.

This all happened because the now former long-time Indianapolis Colts play-by-play announcer Bob Lamey repeated the story of Derrick Daly uttering the most forbidden of words on the air back in the early eighties. Lamey was stupid enough to use the word in his telling of the story. He got a Trumpian "you're fired" (well he was allowed to resign/retire). Daly lost his job at a local TV station for having the temerity to say something 34 or 35 years ago. Connor Daly, his son, lost his race car sponsorship because his father once said something racist and inappropriate before he was even born. 

This sordid tale has dominated local news for a week. Even if it had not, one should know that no white-ass cracker can say the word that starts with the letter that falls between M and O in the alphabet. Ever. That is why it is so baffling to learn a local high school principal stood before his students yesterday and recited a list of stuff they should never say. One of the words he said was THAT word. You know, the one starts with the letter that falls between M and O in the alphabet. He really is that stupid. Really

The tin-foil hat wearer in me wonders if the principal had another motive. You see, the school he administers is a private Catholic School. This school recently fired a counselor for being married to a woman. Oh, to be clear it is a lesbian relationship. The Archdiocese said "You're Fired". Protest abounded. Perhaps the Bishop told the principal to do something to get rid of the protesters. Get that whole anti-LGBTQ story off the news cycle. 

Mission accomplished. 

August 24, 2018


It is Friday at last. Too bad it is not payday too. The weather pattern is more like late September's usual offering: warm days and cool nights with low humidity. It was in the fifties when I got up.

My Keurig seems to be on the fritz. I pulled out the old trusty percolator. It makes good coffee, but is not nearly as convenient. 

The granddaughter just arrived. She wants Pilsbury orange rolls for breakfast. I can do that. It means I will have to cut this riveting rambling epistle short. 

You are welcome.

Perhaps the muse will inspire meaningful content later. Check back often.

August 23, 2018

You say Tomato, I say Tomahto

So what is the difference between a baker refusing to create a gay wedding cake and a bank or insurance company that refuses to cover or loan money to perfectly qualified companies (or people) that are involved in the firearms industry?

August 22, 2018

A racist joke

Two rednecks were sitting around the still discussing life. Billy Joe says " I bought a new pig"

Your barn burned down, where you gonna put it?" asked Jim Bob.

"I'm gonna put him in my house"

"You only have a one-room shack", replied Jim Bob. "What about the smell?".

He'll get used to it" said Billy Joe

* it is OK, it is about white people

The end is nigh

President Pence. Practice it, because according to the talking heads, the Trumpster is already packing his bags in preparation to boarding the impeachment train. Why? Because someone who used to work for him committed crimes before he worked for Trump: crimes that had nothing to do with the Russia, Russia, Russia meme the Jan Brady media-types are always crying about. But for some, the whole collusion narrative is now "fact" due to this conviction, despite real facts like "collusion" is not a crime. It is not even a misdemeanor.

The Clinton campaign actually did work with Russian agents to effect the election, but that has nothing to do with overturning the last election, so how about we just pay no attention to that particular man behind the curtain? Oh, and that wasn't a crime either. It is just dirty politics. Except the part where the Democrats used that dirty info to sic the Justice Department on the Trump campaign. Yeah, someone needs to go to jail over that.

My wife is imbued with a wealth of common sense and pays little attention to politics. After watching the Michael Cohen story last night she merely hurumpfed (figuratively). "Of course Trump screwed that hooker", she opined. "But it was long before he was President. What does it have to do with anything? If we got rid of every scumbag that runs for office, we wouldn't have anybody left". Actual quote.

Before you start crying that violating campaign finance law is a big deal and should lead to impeachment, you might want to explain your silence on President Obama's violations. If the Trump campaign broke campaign finance law, pay the fine and move on.

As always, your rebuttal is welcome.

August 21, 2018


Ex-Presidents should not be included in the "Daily Briefing" either.  Their term is up. They should move on to writing books, building houses, whatever.

"But Joe", you say, "Sometimes Ex-Presidents meet with foreign leaders.  Obama met with Merkle just recently".

Why?  Obama has no input into US policy: none, nada, zip. His opinion has no more relevance than mine or yours. Carter shouldn't be off trying to negotiate with the NOKs, and we don't need a Bush kowtowing with the Saudis. Part of the problem is the leaders of the EU go whining to Obama when they don't get their way.  Too bad. The Trumpster is large and in-charge. Obama served his Constitutionally mandated two term limit. GW did too. There is no reason to give briefings to Clinton, Bush I, or Carter.  They have been out of office more than two decades.  They have nothing to offer on any current top secret topic. They should not be getting a daily briefing.

Besides, if something does come up, the President is responsible for National Security.  He can fill them in on any relevant topic, should he need their advise.

It is time we start cleaning up the swamp.  No longer keeping old ousted retired and fired employees in the loop so they can lobby, do the TV circuit, and collect per diems from the teats of the Federal Government is a good place to begin.

August 20, 2018

Head scratchin'

Every time I have left an employer and moved on I have had to give up my access to company emails, systems, and internal communications. I thought nothing of it.

Why the uproar when Trump strips the security clearance from someone who is no longer in government employment? It should be routine and automatic to take away clearance after one leaves government employ. If you do not work at the CIA, why should you have access to Top Secret-type information? You no longer have the "need to know". Only people who labor in a government job expect sinecure after leaving.

If you re-enter Government Service, you can have your Security Clearance re-activated.  As a TV talking head you do not need a security clearance.  Likewise, if you are an ex-Navy Seal, you do not need a security clearance either. You can save your political grandstanding.

How not to treat a customer

My oldest son, my wife, and I visited my parents yesterday. On the way home we stopped a the grocery to grab some stuff for dinner. While we were inside, my son stepped out of the car to have a cigarette (I know, but he will soon be thirty). When we came out he asked my wife if she had any change so he could get a Coke from the machine in front of the store.

As he was feeding the coins a store employee confronted him. She told him she was sick of the homeless beggars accosting people in the parking lot and he needed to leave -- now. When he proceeded to buy his pop, she threatened to call the police. He explained he was here with customers. He told her he got change from his mother. The employee harangued him until he walked away.

He was more than pissed. I told him to shrug it off, people are jerks in general and that she saw him climb into the car with us.

He was still angry thirty minutes later. At that point I wished I had gone into the store and had a word with the manager about jumping to conclusions and customer service.

We did the next best thing. We called the store when we got home. I then told my mom. She shops at that grocery on a regular basis and knows the owner. Of course the weasely woman denied the whole thing. She said she asked him politely if he had been looking into cars and panhandling. She said the store had a complaint earlier in the day and wanted to make sure it wasn't the same guy. According to her, she apologized when my son pointed out he was with customers and got change from his mother.


I can see why she jumped to the wrong conclusion. But she should have waited to see if he accosted others. More importantly, she should have listened to his explanation. Calling customers homeless beggars and threatening to call the police is not the way to grow one's business.

August 18, 2018

Break on through



Coffee hot, but the mug is almost empty. I will have to step away at some point in a refill.

I did not post yesterday. I could regale you with my activities.

It was mostly a boring Friday. Work.

I will tell you about one interesting thing that I encountered, though...

Sorry. I went downstairs to get some more coffee. I had a little powdered sugar donut while I was there. OK, I had two, but no more, I swear.

What were we talking about before I went downstairs?

Yeah, on second thought, I don't want to discuss that now.

August 16, 2018

Zippity Doo Dah

I am in a fine mood today. I had me some Chic-fil-A for lunch, including their awesome peach milkshake. Yes, I know I am not supposed to have milkshakes, but I did.

The main reason I'm in a good mood is my oldest boy will be home tonight. He is motoring this way from Colorado. We have only seen him once since he moved away a year ago. He was home for less than 24 hours to attend the funeral for our grandson (his nephew) on December first. He is not here long this time, either. Part of the time he will be at a wedding (he is playing as part of the ceremony). He has to be back at work on Tuesday. That means he will have to leave Sunday evening. Still, I will be very glad to see him.

So go ahead, rat me out for the milkshake. Ruin my good day. I bet you swipe Milk-bones from puppies. You probably are mean to cats. You make faces at little babies and reach over the shoulder and steal hot dogs right out of the bun from toddlers at the beach. I bet you smash Twinkies on the shelf at the grocery. You probably think the Grinch was a ruined soul by the end of the cartoon. You hate flowers. You root against the Cubs. You probably think Hillary is to be admired. You believe in the fairy tale that is Democrat Socialism. You don't find the Three Stooges funny. You probably drive a Prius and think plastic straws are the bane of an over-commercialized society. You find Esther Williams movies tedious and do not see what is so great about a John Wayne flick. You probably do not care for the music of Elvis and find the art of Jackson Pollock "intriguing".  That is just who you are: a little sniveling rat fink, out to deny me one small pleasure on a gloomy rainy afternoon.

Don't be that guy or gal.

Makes me want to find a pillow and some roofing supplies

The courts were designed to offer blind justice and when we see the rich or the political class get special treatment it reminds me of just why those groups got free haircuts from Madam Guillotine back during the Frog Revolution.

An Indianapolis City Councilman, Jeff Miller (R), was charged with child molestation. Somehow, he got a sweetheart deal to plead guilty to child battery. He got four years of probation. No registering on the sex offender list. The prosecutor and judge that agreed to this should be tarred and feathered.

The prisons and jails are filled with child molestors who would have leapt at this deal. they are normal trash and criminals.

Somehow, the guy who beat the scum to death that followed his teen daughter into the bathroom probably will end up with harsher sentence than Miller got.

Personally, because they enjoy public trust, I think politicos and cops should receive harsher sentencing.  We don't need hate crime legislation. We need "punish the politicians and cops who can't follow the law" legislation.

August 15, 2018

I can never come up with a title

I can never come up with a title. The post itself is hard enough these days. A creative, eye-catching title is almost impossible.

Once upon a time, writing the old blog was easy as apple pie. OK, making a quality apple pie is not easy. That analogy is lame, if common. How about as easy as making a Salisbury steak TV dinner? Still too much work? Perhaps as easy as your sister. Ba boomp. Look, a decade ago I could crank out a couple of hundred words in no time flat. Trust me.

Go ahead, read the long history over there on the right. See: lots of words. They may not all have been quality efforts, but there is significant quantity. Not all of the entries are garbage either.

Wait, I think I pulled somethin' patting myself on the back.

Where was I? Oh yeah, whining about writing a post.  Never mind.  The post is done. You read it just now.

Next up, staring at the blinking cursor for 13 minutes while I try in vain to come up with an attention-grabbing title.

August 14, 2018

Frankie says Relax

I woke up early again this morning...blah, blah...

While reading various news sites I ran across an article that claims Twitter is in a rage (surprise!) because singer Sam Smith had the temerity to say he doesn't like Michael Jackson music. Gasp! I'm sure he will be deemed a racist  before the "scandal" blows over for the next outrage.

What happened to diversity? Is one not allowed to have likes and dislikes anymore? Guess what Internet? I am not a big fan of Michael Jackson music either. And I'm just talking the music, I'm not even getting into the creep show that was Jackson's life in his last years.

There I said it.

Of course since I'm just a nobody with a little blog read by nine people and a cat, I will avoid the Internet of outrage. For his sake, I hope Mr. Smith doesn't accidentally let it be known that he likes his steak cooked medium well or that he does, indeed, prefer tightly whites to boxers. The outrage machine will melt servers spewing livid hate. Heaven help him if he ever muttered that on occasion Aretha Franklin was over the top or that her acting was subpar in The Blues Brothers.

Relax Internet, everything will be OK. we do not have to agree. Sure, if everyone accepted my guidance and that I represent truth and beauty and righteousness in all things we would be better off as humans. But the world would sure be a boring place.

August 13, 2018

I would just skip this one, were I you

I went to the doctor for my annual physical today. My blood pressure was a nice 114/60. My A1C was 6.8. I can stop taking one of my diabetes meds. I quit taking it a couple of weeks ago anyway. I think it was causing my craps. As long as I keep my daily numbers in check I don't have to take it anymore. My shingles are about dried up. Heart and lungs were great.  I am, surprisingly, in good shape. I am about 60 lbs down from where I was a decade ago. I weigh pretty much what I did when I graduated high school. Less than I did when I got married. I would like to drop another 5-6 pounds, but I am not worrying about it too much. if I keep walking and eating better, the weight will drop. I weigh consistently between 178 and 183. At 5'10" I am not at the "recommended weight" but the doctor is perfectly happy and I do not look fat. I look every bit of my age, but so it goes. I still looked 20 at 30, so things even out over time.

August 12, 2018

I've accomplished nothing

Chicago Cubs All-Star first baseman Anthony Rizzo collected his 1,000th career hit yesterday. The former Silver Slugger Award winner is, by most accounts, a very good ball player.

He only needs an additional  3,257 knocks to surpass Pete Rose as the all-time MLB hits leader. Chew on that.

Rose may be less-than-admirable as a human being, but there is little doubt he is in the conversation as not only the greatest living baseball player, but as one of the best ever. His exclusion from the Hall of Fame is wrong. When you consider some of the other unsavory characters that are enshrined (we are looking at you Ty Cobb), there is no reason the leader in hits, singles, at-bats, games played, and outs is not in Cooperstown.

One Rose stat that exemplifies his greatness is this: he played a record 3,562 games and garnered 4,256 hits.  Perhaps even more impressive is that he was selected as an All-Star at five different positions: 2nd, left field, right field, 3rd, and 1st base.

If you have read this collection of words for any length of time you know that I am not a Cincinnati Reds fanboy. I never liked Rose, but you cannot deny his greatness.

August 11, 2018

This whole thing is just an environmental straw man

Late to bed and early to rise does not make a man...happy. Yeah, no cute Poor Richard rhyme for you this morning. I woke from a most interesting dream to go pee and was unable to go back to sleep. I shouldn't have had watermelon as a late evening snack.


It involved camels, a McDonalds, flintlock muskets, Penn and Teller, a battle in the desert, and the Lennon Sisters. You don't want the details. It made sense in the dream, not so much in the cold light of dawn.

We went to local chain for dinner last night. It was a lovely evening, so we sat outside. The food was great, the service good. The only flaw in the evening was a big sign on the door parroting the "world is plagued by discarded plastic straws" nonsense perpetuated by a nine year-old 's science fair project. I promptly asked for a straw out of spite. I'm not going into a multi-paragraph rant on how silly it is to single out straws as the environmental villain when our world is filled with one-time use plastics of far greater volume than a little extruded tube.* Do you know how much extra plastic is used in automobiles due to Obama's fuel milage standards? The wackos are probably coming after my Kuerig pods next. No, get that idea out of your head. Pretend I did not write it.

Hold on, I need to go down and trash another plastic K cup. I might just attempt to drink my coffee with a straw just for the satisfaction of making a liberal cry. Too bad I drink my coffee black or I would use a plastic spoon to stir it. I will then collect this waste in a plastic trash bag that I throw out in a plastic garbage bin beside the garage. I do not pay extra to recycle. But if I did, that too would go in a plastic bin. Do you liberal progressive digger Leveller environmental weenies not see the irony here?

You do know that most of the stuff you rinse out and separate into the recycling bin goes straight into the landfill anyway? Much of the rest is loaded into containers and shipped to China.** The fuel cost far outweighs the environmental savings of recycling. Oh, and very little can be actually recycled, so it is buried in China or just tossed into the Yangtze where it floats into the Pacific. Just pitching that bendy straw in the trash at home is far more likely to keep it out of a turtles' left nostril than trying to recycle it anyway.

Look it up. The truth is often an ugly thing.

If I had any talent I would adorn this blog with a "ribbon" fashioned from a plastic straw. It would be my own personal "resistance" movement symbol. Feel free to join.

There you go. I wanted to complain about getting up early and an unresolved dream. Instead you got me off on a tangent about feel good limousine liberalism. Thanks. [sarcasm].

Have a great Saturday.

* OK I guess I am. Oh, and did you see what I did there with the title? A real post title that actually fits the content? Sorta.

**especially if you live in California

August 10, 2018

Like a zombie

Ah yes, the feature that never dies. Friday music returns with a classic tune that just screams "summer". Too bad the kids are already heading back to school.  There are still a lot of great pool and beach days left before fall sets in. Of course I wouldn't know about summer days at the beach, unless a lake counts...and it doesn't...except one of the Great Ones...but I still wouldn't know, growing up in te middle of farm country, hours from Lake Michigan.

No,  Indiana Beach  doesn't count either. I couldn't afford to go there as a poor teen anyway, even if was not more than an hour from home.

I can see for miles

Two years ago this month I underwent cornea transplant surgeries for Fuchs Dystrophy.  I had my surgery done at Dr. Price's office.

Here is a documentary that describes what I had done. 

I can see well now. I had two transplants and three minor procedures on my left eye (the first did not take), and one on my right eye.  I suspect I will have to have some laser work to destroy scar tissue on the right eye sometime in the next year or so.

I thought you might find it interesting.

August 9, 2018

Dear President Trump

I sell stuff. Widgets. For months I have worked to gain business at a particular customer. They are an automotive supplier. I was finally given a chance to quote a single part number. The volume is over seven million pieces a year. This is big volume. This chunk of sales will move your humble author from the "underperforming" category to "you get to keep your job and here is a nice bonus" status.

Now, thanks to the latest round of tariffs, my sale is in serious jeopardy. My pricing is better than the incumbent, but certainly not 25% better. Oh, and it isn't like my Chinese crap was displacing American-made goods. The competitor is a European company with plants in the Czech Republic.

Anecdote is not data. Our trade imbalance with China is a problem. Chinese stealing of technology is a bigger problem. But it is naive to think those jobs are coming back to America. For many components, like my widgets, there is no capacity domestically. Opening a new factory will take a couple of years. Even longer time will be required to train new employees and ramp up production. You cannot make my widgets in a garage, it takes a lot of machinery and can only be competitive on a large scale. We are talking tolerances of microns here. If you don't know what a micron is look it up.

I have no doubt your efforts will help correct some of the trade imbalances. If past administrations had looked at America first we wouldn't be in this position. Fixing things is often painful. I also am aware my position is a NIMBY outlook. I just hope the trade war is done before the Jedi are called in, clones are deployed, and I lose my job.

August 8, 2018

Did anyone notice, Did anybody care?

It is after four in the afternoon, my time. Your clock very well may read differently. That's not my problem. Take it up with the Department of Transportation. I have better things to do than explain time zones.

I don't know --stuff. I have stuff to do. Work. Reading, maybe. Going to the grocery to get ingredients for supper. ..Just stuff. It is none of your business anyway.

I didn't post anything this morning. I shall claim I was too busy.

Again, I don't know -- stuff. Boy, you ask a lot of questions.

I do not need this kind of inquisition. Just forget it. I'm not going to post anything.

OK, I did.

But not because you were pressuring me.

August 7, 2018

After Midnight

Heavy storms rolled through just after 12 in the A-M. Constant thunder, strobe light-like lightning, wind, and heavy rain hammered the old homestead. Somehow rain lashed both the front door and back door simultaneously. The power went out intermittently at the height of the storm. There was my chance, the wife's CPAP was cutting in and out....I could have blamed it on the power company...

Oh, lighten up, Francis. It is a joke.

August 6, 2018

We have to regulate every aspect of people’s lives

Every Digger and Leveller Progressive-type believes they know better than you. Just ask them. No, don't. They will voluntarily tell you they know more and better than you in short order. They can't help themselves.

Recently, while debating criminalizing straws in Santa Barbara (after hearing expert testimony from a 9 year-old) a Guess-the-party City Councilman proclaimed
“Unfortunately, common sense is just not common. We have to regulate every aspect of people’s lives.”  source
Clearly, the people of Santa Barbara have no common sense or they would not have elected such a fascist jerk to office. Sadly, his attitude is prevalent in Democratic Party circles.

I long for the politician who says, "We have too many laws, nothing new needs to be regulated, outlawed,  controlled, managed, or governed". How about you encourage people to cut back on consuming one-time use plastics? Do we need a law for everything?

Monday Blues

Back to work. Not right at this moment, but Monday nonetheless. No more needs to be said about that.

No soapbox rants today. I avoided the news over the weekend, so the incessant politics that permeates everything was avoided. I watched a couple of old movies (Some Came Running, Risky Business) and read (The Ionian Mission by POB). Yesterday, I watched some baseball after I mowed the lawn. I dozed off during the later innings. I already reported on my Saturday

There, we are done with the boring. Oh wait, the weather was warm and sunny. Now we have detailed the mundane. That in no way means exciting content will follow.

Have a great day.

August 4, 2018

Blame the old white guy

I'm blogging with my feet propped on my desk, iPad on my belly this fine Saturday morning. The boy's dog has claimed the blog room/office recliner as his sleeping place. The boy had a long Friday shift and even longer one planned for today, so we are dog sitting. He doesn't want the pup to have to be shuttered in a small apartment for 12 hours at a time. At least here he can move about, finding sunny spots to doze. As a bonus the dog can run free in tne fenced backyard.

We are off to swim and hang poolside later, so the dog will be alone anyway, but he will have the whole house to roam instead of two small,rooms. I should reframe that thought. Some of us are going swimming. Some are going to just hang out --shingles. The medico says it is OK as long as everyone has had the chicken pox and my lesions remain covered. The Internet agrees. Everything is true on the Internet.

I hope you have a great weekend.

August 3, 2018

Odds for every NFL team

So here we are, early on a Friday morning. It looks like a gorgeous day is on tap.

Is there anything more boring and unwatchable than preseason football? Besides golf. Or bowling. Or the View. I admit I have never watched one millisecond of the View, but I can imagine.

We were inflicted with one of the worst waitresses I have had in a very long time last night. I don't know if she was new, having a bad night, or just incompetent. No, I did not completely stiff her on her tip. The 10% ($3) I left her was still probably too much. Her inability to turn tables, get orders right, or manage to get drink refills meant she worked for about $2 per hour last night. I know the table next to us was even more honked off than we were at her poor service.

We have entered a sad, sad world of stupidity when the CDC has to issue a warning that one should not wash out a condom and reuse it. I only hope these losers are recycling their own rubbers and not random old ones they found tossed out at the park down by the river.

August 2, 2018

Problem Solved

I stopped by WalMart yesterday evening. I grabbed the essentials - a case of Coke Zero, bread, a jar of popcorn, and a bag of plastic straws. The last in hopes I find a turtle. I'm gonna poke it in the nose with the straw.

Seriously, of all the plastic waste in the world, why straws? Little plastic tubes must be a fraction of nothing in the giant landfill we call Earth. How about getting rid of the plastic packaging that surrounds just about everything as an anti-theft measure these days? You can't cut it, tear it, pry it apart, or even bite it open. We bought a new toy for the granddaughter and by the time we got it open she was too old for it.

Why do the busybodies of the world feel compelled to force the rest of us to comply with their agenda? If you think straws are evil, don't use one. Hate plastic bags? Take your own germ and bacteria filled cloth ones to the store. Think your taxes are too low, pay more. Root for the Patriots and worship Tom Brady? Well, perhaps some notions should be outlawed.

Nope, fatties can't figure out a Big Mac is full of calories, so restaurants have to post it on the menu. Your kid complains about the tofu sandwich and baby carrots you sent to school in an environment-friendly hemp bag because little Billy has Cheetos and Twinkies in his PJ Masks lunch box? The nannies insist the school mandate that every kid MUST eat healthy and confiscate non-complying brown bags as necessary. Leave my kid alone. If you do not like the owners' Christian beliefs, don't eat at Chick-fil-A. There is no need to protest outside. Just do not eat there. That leaves more for me.

Mind your own dang business.

The sooner the world wakes up and makes me Executive Plenipotentiary, Supreme Mediator, Chief Justice of Common Sense, and Arbiter of Taste, the better off we will be.

August 1, 2018

On donuts and football

Suppose you started each work day with a short protest. You believe with all of your heart that everyone should get a free donut on Friday. What if, in the course of your protest, customers are visiting the plant where you are employed? Instead of workers diligently producing high-quality widgets, they see workers protesting? Would your employer have the right and obligation to tell you to knock it off, even if your quest for donuts is laudable? Even if a majority of Americans would agree that free donuts would be awesome and could we get bacon too?

I'm pretty sure your employer would have no issue with you protesting on your own time. It is doing it on company time that is the problem. You might counter that if you can carry out your campaign at home, no one besides the wife and kids, the dog, and a few neighbors will notice. At the factory you can proclaim your agenda to six hundred people who might then start their own protest.

Yes and don't do it on company time. Period EOD.

Scenario two: I show up at a cutomer's location to sell him widgets. Instead of business clothes I wear  a sweaty T-shirt, a faded cubs hat, and the grass-stained running shoes I last wore to mow the lawn. Would the boss have the right and obligation to tell me such behavior is unacceptable? Should he fire me?

Can the NFL tell players to protest on their own time? As owners of the business:  yes. It isn't about right or wrong. It certainly isn't about Constitutional Rights to speech. I don't have the right to tell my customers I am peddling semi-junk Chinese widgets, even if it might be true (it's not), and you have no "right" to argue for free delicious awesome donuts on company time.

Oh, and Kareem Abdul-Jabbar can complain to the owners of he NFL all he wants about not wanting protests on company time. It does make him a hypocrite when he has no issue with the fact that the NBA, you know, the employer who paid him millions, has had the same "You will respect the National Anthem" policy for decades. It just makes his editorializing reek of opportunism.

If the NFL owners are Ok with protest, fine. If not, equally fine. it is their business. The consumers will vote with their wallet and viewership if they agree or not.

I am all for justice. I long for a color-blind society. But sometimes, I just want to watch football. I do not think I'm an anomaly. That position does not make me a racist, nor does it mean I condone...well, anything. It means I want to watch football without interference from a political agenda. No more, no less.

July 31, 2018

Reason 236 you wish you were me

That explains my bad attitude, irritability, and the pain in my back and side. I broke down and went to the doctor today. I didn't need to go, since I did, after all, stay in a Holiday Inn Express last week. When the rash appeared Sunday I knew what I had. Shingles. Freaking shingles. Confirmed. While I can diagnose, I cannot prescribe. Thats why i went to tne doctor. I'm off for yet more meds to add to my daily pile.

Hooray for me.

It has finally happened

It has been opined that if you put a herd of monkeys in front of an equal number of typewriters eventually coherent words will emerge. Finally, the theory has been proven on a national stage.

USAToday has an editorial from some guy at The Cato Institute and Harvard arguing we should get rid of borders and offer unfettered immigration. I won't link to it because I'm lazy and I don't want to be the Typhoid Mary of crazy ideas.

Honestly, the author argues that we can eliminate illegal immigration by making ALL immigration legal. Well, duh. If we get rid of prohibitions on driving while intoxicated our drunk driving convictions will be zero. 

As near as I can tell, the basic argument is we would save billions by not having to enforce laws or building walls. Indeed, this guy posits that immigrants will be more likely to leave since they didn't have to work so hard to get here. 

No, this is not satire from The Onion.

In total ignorance of the immutable law of supply and demand the editorial writer says more immigrants will raise wages for everyone. He is convinced only the best and brightest will come. He cites the "success" of the mass influx of immigrants to Europe as proof. Seriously.

Don't worry, this turnip brain tells us, if too much largess from the government coffers goes to this influx of folks, we can just vote those benefits away. Yes, history shows that people often vote themselves less money taken from others.  That last sentence was intended to be written in sarcasm font. 

I'm not surprised this crazy thought is coming out of The Cato Institute. Those people gave us the basic outline of ObamaCare. If this is the quality of economic theory offered at Harvard, then I would send my kid to a different Ivy League institution. Better yet, I would look for a small college somewhere out in flyover country. Better still, I would place my kid in front of Milton Friedman videos on YouTube.  

OK, Here is proof of the stupidity. I honestly feel just a little dumber just by reading such tripe. 

July 30, 2018

Self inspection

I'm late getting to the old blog today. Did anyone notice? Does anyone care?

These inquiries would be more pertinent if I had anything worthwhile to write. Oh, I could navigate through the normal topics: weather, health, weekend activities. I could opine on he politics of the day. I could expound on any number of topics. I don't feel like it.

There you have it. Should things change, this space, or one very much like it, will be filled with letters, words, sentences, and paragraphs. Stay vigilant. Or not. This is a free choice blog.

July 28, 2018

Two Deaths and a Funeral

I have this little water feature out by the patio. It is an old-fashioned hand pump running water into a "barrel" that sits on top of yet another barrel. Water drains in a stream from the "pump" into the smaller top barrel which overflows into the larger bottom barrel. Water is then pumped up to the top. Loop and repeat. Over time water evaporates and I have to add water. Sometimes the little electric pump gets choked with debris so I have to reach in and clear it. 

Fast forward to Thursday evening. I get home around 8:30 or 9:00 pm after spending the week at corporate HQ. I go out to check the fountain. It is nearly dark. The water is low. Very low. I look again and notice something floating in the water. 

It is a dead bird. 

I almost gagged on the ham sammich I was chewing. I bagged the bird and trashed it. I am going to have to clean out the fountain this weekend.

Throwing on my imaginary Sherlock Holmes hat -- it is way too hot to slip on a Columbo overcoat -- I think I have arrived at the 3% solution. Over the hot summer the fountain gets mossy and green algae slimy. Last weekend I disassembled and cleaned it. I read on the Internet ( everything is true on the Internet) that adding hydrogen peroxide to the water will keep the system clean. Perhaps a whole bottle was too much? An alternative was the bird got in there to splash, got trapped under the smaller bucket and drowned. Theory number three is the bird just died and fell into the big bucket. 

Yesterday found the wife and I on the road to attend a funeral. There were a lot of people there. It is always hard to lose a friend, a lesson I learned way back in high school. It was reassuring to see the love and respect from his community, co-workers, friends, and family. I'm not sure where on the hierarchy I fit. I have known him for almost forty years, talk every few months, meet occasionally. I can't say I was an intimate daily golfing buddy friend. Still, he was important to me and I like to think I was to him. He was a fraternity brother, a pledge brother, roommate. We stood in each other's weddings. He's gone. The funeral was for me and others who loved him.

On the long drive down empty I-69 through the hills of southern Indiana I had flashbacks of the opening scenes of the over-rated Big Chill playing in my mind.

Ah, so it goes.

With that, I know he is in heaven grinning over a beer and telling me "damn straight, Joe".

July 25, 2018

2010 redux

Here is a link to an old post I do not remember writing.  Click here if you love me

A little polish and it wouldn't be half bad

Please, please me

Dear Democrats,

Go ahead, run on abolishing ICE, raising taxes, and gun control.  Please.

July 24, 2018

Anything you can do...

I am ready to win the day. I spent he night in a Holiday Inn Express and now I am going to kick butt. What should I do? A little surgery? Nothing too critical like slicing into a brain or heart. Perhaps I shall excise a few warts, cut out an ingrown tonail, repair a hernia, splint a fractured tibia.

I just might do the lawyer thing. I could Clarence Darrow up a modern Scopes Trial, cast doubt on the guilt of OJ, prosecute the Manson Gang, mark up a one-sided contract.

I could be a politician. That is an easy gig, if you don't mind grubbing for money and selling your soul. Or being a self-centered egotistical dickwad lying hypocrite puppet whore willing to felate the nearest lobbyist after the local chicken dinner.

No, not even the Holiday Inn will let me sink that low.
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