The economy got you down? Sick of politics? Terrified about the crushing debt being placed on your future generations? Has your woman or man done you wrong? Were you bitten by the dog or the kid? Hate your job? Do you live in Cleveland? Do you feel like you need a drink?
In no particular order, here are five choices for songs to get drunk to. Add yours in the comments.
June 19, 2009
June 18, 2009
The Commies are coming here
Hold on there pardner, Now The Obama wants the power to go into a private business that may fail in the future -- and I quote "seize its assets". I was not in favor of the bailouts and TARP and etc., but this is too far. Who gets to determine what business 'may' fail? Why the tax cheat in chief, Timothy Geitner. How far are we from nationalizing industries that are too important the economy of the US, like the rest of the car companies, the oil companies, energy suppliers (Obama hates the coal plants anyway) and all banks? Are defense related industries next -- the aircraft manufacturers, bearing companies, guns and ammunition makers? Where does it stop? How about government control of the farms and food factories?
You fervent Kos kids and DU dope smokers were all concerned about GW taking your rights and ignoring the Constitution, does this prospect not frighten you? How will you feel when he comes after your employer or your company?
That will never happen you say. That is what the people of Cuba, Venezuela and Zimbabwe all thought in the not too distant past. I don't know about you, but I am sure hoping we get a little less change. I warned you this was the plan a year ago and I was accused of having pinko paranoia. I would laugh, except I am afraid I will cry for my country's future.
Apparently I am not alone thinking this way. Click this link.
You fervent Kos kids and DU dope smokers were all concerned about GW taking your rights and ignoring the Constitution, does this prospect not frighten you? How will you feel when he comes after your employer or your company?
That will never happen you say. That is what the people of Cuba, Venezuela and Zimbabwe all thought in the not too distant past. I don't know about you, but I am sure hoping we get a little less change. I warned you this was the plan a year ago and I was accused of having pinko paranoia. I would laugh, except I am afraid I will cry for my country's future.
Apparently I am not alone thinking this way. Click this link.
June 16, 2009
I swear every word of this is true
I drew the unlucky seat assignment again on my flight home yesterday evening. A young pimple-faced Eskimo boy from Anchorage heading to Purdue for placement tests occupied the window seat next to me. I am sure he is brilliant. He has plans to get degrees in electrical engineering and physics. I did my 'pull out a book and start reading thing' as soon as I sat down (to stop conversation with strangers), but this did not dissuade the youth. He began with loud discussions about what kind of books I like. I told him that no, I did not particularly care for science fiction. He asked me if I had read any of the classics. Clearly he had a literature course in high school. Dante, Conrad, Hemingway he dropped all of the names. He thought Vonnegut was the bomb. I told him Vonnegut was full of crap. When he persisted I pointed out Vonnegut himself said he was done after Breakfast of Champions and I said the man should have quit then. I pointed out old Kurt was a pretentious liberal fool. We did not discuss literature any more.
I just started to read again as we turned onto the runway. The kid hugged his giant owl pillow and began to rock back and forth. Did I mention his giant owl pillow? Against my better judgement I asked him if he was nervous about flying? He began to tell me about his plan to use industrial lasers to make a really bitching laser tag game. He shook his head side to side several times in the conversation like a dog shaking off water. He rang the call button on and off about ten times until the attendant came. He asked for a Coke. She told him we were still climbing to altitude and service would start in a while.
"Wouldn't it be cool to have Aladdin's magic carpet", he asked me. At least that is what I thought he said. I was distracted because he now gripped the tray table and shook it violently. The lady in the seat in front was not amused. I asked him what he had said. Yes, he did ask me if I thought it would be cool to have Aladdin's magic carpet. I thought maybe that was a video game or something. No, he meant a real flying carpet. I said sure. He spent several minutes describing flying while laying down on his carpet.
The flight attendants went by with the drink cart to begin their service up front. He rang the call button repeatedly until they came to see what was the matter. He asked for a Coke. I thought the attendant was going to hit him. The kid began banging his head on the seat back in front of him. The lady occupant turned around and told him to quit. I gave her an apologetic shrug. He advised me that when he got his masters and was done in six years it was his goal to be on the Enterprise. I asked him if he was joining the Navy. He said no, the Starship Enterprise. He was sure they were already building it and he would be finished with his education just in time. I told him he needs to get a grip, it was a movie. He clutched his pillow and rocked violently.
The kid asked for two different drinks. They gave it to him to keep him quiet. I faked sleeping for a while. As we were landing he looked out the window. He turned to me with scorn. "At least in Alaska we have grass in our parks", he proclaimed. I asked him impatiently what he was talking about. He described the brown and black squares. I told him those were fields, not parks.
"Fields?" Yes I told him, corn, wheat, beans, you know -- food. He told me when he got to Purdue he was going out in the fields and was going to make crop circles to "confuse the locals". I said he better stay out of the fields if he knew what was good for him, farmers would not find destruction of their crops too amusing. He told me he would use his flying saucer. I rolled my eyes.
The big lady across the aisle tapped me on the shoulder and said "Is that boy crazy"? I told her I thought so.
He asked me if I thought he would be better off to sleep for three or four hours tor just stay up and take the test. I suggested he get some sleep. He asked me how would he wake up? I said to have the hotel give him a wale up call. He had never heard of such a thing. He concluded they won't do that, he was going to just stay awake.
As we taxied to the gate, he started telling me to let him out. Repeatedly. As soon as the fasten seat belt sign turned off he pushed past me and headed for the front of the plane.
For part of tho flight I thought he was trying to screw with me. Later, I decided he was high on energy pills or caffeine. Maybe he was off his meds. I do believe he was the most immature teenager I have ever met. I have seen the future. It scares me.
Just think -- sometimes I wish I did not travel so much.
Edit: since yesterday evening the same guy from Australia has landed here searching for pygmy sex more than 40 times. I appreciate the hits, but wow.
I just started to read again as we turned onto the runway. The kid hugged his giant owl pillow and began to rock back and forth. Did I mention his giant owl pillow? Against my better judgement I asked him if he was nervous about flying? He began to tell me about his plan to use industrial lasers to make a really bitching laser tag game. He shook his head side to side several times in the conversation like a dog shaking off water. He rang the call button on and off about ten times until the attendant came. He asked for a Coke. She told him we were still climbing to altitude and service would start in a while.
"Wouldn't it be cool to have Aladdin's magic carpet", he asked me. At least that is what I thought he said. I was distracted because he now gripped the tray table and shook it violently. The lady in the seat in front was not amused. I asked him what he had said. Yes, he did ask me if I thought it would be cool to have Aladdin's magic carpet. I thought maybe that was a video game or something. No, he meant a real flying carpet. I said sure. He spent several minutes describing flying while laying down on his carpet.
The flight attendants went by with the drink cart to begin their service up front. He rang the call button repeatedly until they came to see what was the matter. He asked for a Coke. I thought the attendant was going to hit him. The kid began banging his head on the seat back in front of him. The lady occupant turned around and told him to quit. I gave her an apologetic shrug. He advised me that when he got his masters and was done in six years it was his goal to be on the Enterprise. I asked him if he was joining the Navy. He said no, the Starship Enterprise. He was sure they were already building it and he would be finished with his education just in time. I told him he needs to get a grip, it was a movie. He clutched his pillow and rocked violently.
The kid asked for two different drinks. They gave it to him to keep him quiet. I faked sleeping for a while. As we were landing he looked out the window. He turned to me with scorn. "At least in Alaska we have grass in our parks", he proclaimed. I asked him impatiently what he was talking about. He described the brown and black squares. I told him those were fields, not parks.
"Fields?" Yes I told him, corn, wheat, beans, you know -- food. He told me when he got to Purdue he was going out in the fields and was going to make crop circles to "confuse the locals". I said he better stay out of the fields if he knew what was good for him, farmers would not find destruction of their crops too amusing. He told me he would use his flying saucer. I rolled my eyes.
The big lady across the aisle tapped me on the shoulder and said "Is that boy crazy"? I told her I thought so.
He asked me if I thought he would be better off to sleep for three or four hours tor just stay up and take the test. I suggested he get some sleep. He asked me how would he wake up? I said to have the hotel give him a wale up call. He had never heard of such a thing. He concluded they won't do that, he was going to just stay awake.
As we taxied to the gate, he started telling me to let him out. Repeatedly. As soon as the fasten seat belt sign turned off he pushed past me and headed for the front of the plane.
For part of tho flight I thought he was trying to screw with me. Later, I decided he was high on energy pills or caffeine. Maybe he was off his meds. I do believe he was the most immature teenager I have ever met. I have seen the future. It scares me.
Just think -- sometimes I wish I did not travel so much.
Edit: since yesterday evening the same guy from Australia has landed here searching for pygmy sex more than 40 times. I appreciate the hits, but wow.
June 15, 2009
My kid's rock
It is real -- about 2.5kt real, with little diamonds around the monster in the middle.
June 14, 2009
Are all Prius drivers assholes?
In my travels in and round the Midwest last week I again noticed a rash of idiotic drivers have taken over the road. Friday's highways seemed especially crowded with nitwits and rude drivers. My trip home from the western suburbs of Chicago were a stress stroke waiting to happen.
It is very simple, assholes. The left lane is for passing. If you are a semi going 66 mph trying to pass a semi going 65 mph, you are holding up traffic. The pedal on the right is the gas. Use it and get the fuck around. Or tap the one on the left, slow down and get over. Look in the mirror and repeat this every day -- "go or get over".
It sure seems that every time I run into a bunch of cars backed up in the left lane I find the head of the line is being held up by a Prius. Is there something about that car that makes you drive like a moron? Maybe it is the sense of entitlement you feel by buying a green car that makes you drive like a Dickhead?
Why is it that people from Michigan and Ohio cannot seem to be able to drive in the right hand lane? The same mantra applies to you -- "go or get over". If people are passing you on the right that is a sign you are driving like an ass. Those big white rectangular signs with numbers on them are speed limit signs. If you are using that speed as a maximum, do not even think about driving in the left lane. If you are going five or more mph below the posted speed -- get off on the next exit. Buy a GPS and take the nearest route to a large river. Jump off the bridge. Your only alternative is to take a taxi, a train, Greyhound or fly. You are dangerous on the highways of our nation. If all else fails, take the cap off the battery that powers your Prius and breath deeply of the fumes. Please.
Summer is upon us and thousands of drivers are hitting the interstates that rarely drive at highway speed. Here is a tip for you suburbanites in your minivans, SUVs and fucking Priuses -- you car is equipped with a cruise control. Use it. You clearly do not have the driving chops to make your speedometer behave. You cannot seem to control your vehicle to within ten miles per hour. Look, the open road is not the congested commute. I-65 is not the bloody Ike. We do not like having to slam on our brakes because you cannot hold speed. After thirty miles of dealing with you passing, slowing down, passing, slowing down, I just wish I could shoot you.
And finally, a word about those signs that warn about the left lane closing ahead. They apply to you. The reason the right lane is stopped and slowed to a crawl is because you have to rush forward and try to shove in right at the barrels that mark the end of the lane. You force the entire conga line of cars in the right lane to slam on the brakes to accommodate your rude driving. The result is a two mile back-up. The primary asshats in this violation of good sense seem to be middle-aged white guys in German cars, white trash in old Chryslers and Buicks, and suburban housewives driving a gottdam Prius or Mini Cooper. Friday, a large semi, tired of the assholes rushing up in the ending left lane, straddled the center line just short of the flashing arrow that marked the beginning of the construction zone. An asshole in a old Plymouth Fury actually drove through the grass median to get around the truck. I am sure that extra half dozen car lengths was worth it.
In short -- slower vehicles keep right. Use your cruise control. Don't be a jerk in construction zones. If you drive a Prius go hang yourself.
That about covers Hoosierboy's rules of the road.
It is very simple, assholes. The left lane is for passing. If you are a semi going 66 mph trying to pass a semi going 65 mph, you are holding up traffic. The pedal on the right is the gas. Use it and get the fuck around. Or tap the one on the left, slow down and get over. Look in the mirror and repeat this every day -- "go or get over".
It sure seems that every time I run into a bunch of cars backed up in the left lane I find the head of the line is being held up by a Prius. Is there something about that car that makes you drive like a moron? Maybe it is the sense of entitlement you feel by buying a green car that makes you drive like a Dickhead?
Why is it that people from Michigan and Ohio cannot seem to be able to drive in the right hand lane? The same mantra applies to you -- "go or get over". If people are passing you on the right that is a sign you are driving like an ass. Those big white rectangular signs with numbers on them are speed limit signs. If you are using that speed as a maximum, do not even think about driving in the left lane. If you are going five or more mph below the posted speed -- get off on the next exit. Buy a GPS and take the nearest route to a large river. Jump off the bridge. Your only alternative is to take a taxi, a train, Greyhound or fly. You are dangerous on the highways of our nation. If all else fails, take the cap off the battery that powers your Prius and breath deeply of the fumes. Please.
Summer is upon us and thousands of drivers are hitting the interstates that rarely drive at highway speed. Here is a tip for you suburbanites in your minivans, SUVs and fucking Priuses -- you car is equipped with a cruise control. Use it. You clearly do not have the driving chops to make your speedometer behave. You cannot seem to control your vehicle to within ten miles per hour. Look, the open road is not the congested commute. I-65 is not the bloody Ike. We do not like having to slam on our brakes because you cannot hold speed. After thirty miles of dealing with you passing, slowing down, passing, slowing down, I just wish I could shoot you.
And finally, a word about those signs that warn about the left lane closing ahead. They apply to you. The reason the right lane is stopped and slowed to a crawl is because you have to rush forward and try to shove in right at the barrels that mark the end of the lane. You force the entire conga line of cars in the right lane to slam on the brakes to accommodate your rude driving. The result is a two mile back-up. The primary asshats in this violation of good sense seem to be middle-aged white guys in German cars, white trash in old Chryslers and Buicks, and suburban housewives driving a gottdam Prius or Mini Cooper. Friday, a large semi, tired of the assholes rushing up in the ending left lane, straddled the center line just short of the flashing arrow that marked the beginning of the construction zone. An asshole in a old Plymouth Fury actually drove through the grass median to get around the truck. I am sure that extra half dozen car lengths was worth it.
In short -- slower vehicles keep right. Use your cruise control. Don't be a jerk in construction zones. If you drive a Prius go hang yourself.
That about covers Hoosierboy's rules of the road.
June 13, 2009
It is not raining
I am in a real Chatty Cathy mood today. That always happens when I am away from the old blog for a few days. When I have no way to post I have plenty to say. Posting will continue to be light as roadwork is my foreseeable future. Even this weekend will be shortened by work, and that, my friends, really ticks me off.
In the wake of the senseless, idiotic shooting at the Holocaust Museum there is the inevitable hand wringing and "let's ban all guns" talk. This crazed fanatic would have failed to turn in or register his gun. If you are willing to commit murder, you are willing to take a gun possession charge.
Second, there again is talk about the KKK, the NeoNazis and crazy lone white guy. I find it amusing how the Government and the press are quick to scrutinize these groups, and wonder how we control them. Yet a group that has killed more Americans in recent years, and foments a significant amount of the world's trouble is again treated like the man behind the curtain. I am talking about the radical Muslims. Why are they left from the discussion? These fanatics spread hate and bigotry and anti-Semetism at a level that would make Goebbels proud. The Governments of the world go out of their way to accommodate these bullies, never realizing that a token accommodation is not enough. For the Muslim fanatics nothing less than Global Caliphate is acceptable. Better we stomp the baby cockroach before it grows into an adult and breeds and we have a real pest problem.
While we are at it, we should acknowledge there is a considerable amount of anti-Semetism to be found in the Black and Hispanic communities as well. Use your favorite search engine and take a gander at the Reverend Jeremiah Wright's sermons. Or just read the fishwrap about Wright's comments earlier this week. No wonder Obama continues to throw Israel "under the bus". "Blame the Jews" has been preached to him every Sunday for twenty years. How is that blind support for the Dems working out for you now liberal Jews?
In the wake of the senseless, idiotic shooting at the Holocaust Museum there is the inevitable hand wringing and "let's ban all guns" talk. This crazed fanatic would have failed to turn in or register his gun. If you are willing to commit murder, you are willing to take a gun possession charge.
Second, there again is talk about the KKK, the NeoNazis and crazy lone white guy. I find it amusing how the Government and the press are quick to scrutinize these groups, and wonder how we control them. Yet a group that has killed more Americans in recent years, and foments a significant amount of the world's trouble is again treated like the man behind the curtain. I am talking about the radical Muslims. Why are they left from the discussion? These fanatics spread hate and bigotry and anti-Semetism at a level that would make Goebbels proud. The Governments of the world go out of their way to accommodate these bullies, never realizing that a token accommodation is not enough. For the Muslim fanatics nothing less than Global Caliphate is acceptable. Better we stomp the baby cockroach before it grows into an adult and breeds and we have a real pest problem.
While we are at it, we should acknowledge there is a considerable amount of anti-Semetism to be found in the Black and Hispanic communities as well. Use your favorite search engine and take a gander at the Reverend Jeremiah Wright's sermons. Or just read the fishwrap about Wright's comments earlier this week. No wonder Obama continues to throw Israel "under the bus". "Blame the Jews" has been preached to him every Sunday for twenty years. How is that blind support for the Dems working out for you now liberal Jews?
June 11, 2009
The week is nearly over
*&^$ing Cubs.
Guess what, i saw in the USA Today that Congress is looking at taxing your employer-provided insurance. Guess that "I will not tax the middle class" rhetoric was just that -- a fucking lie. How do you feel now Obamaites?
Buried deep in the back section, and you can look it up yourself there was an article that the wind volume in North America has decreased significantly in the last 25 years, especially in the Midwest. How can that be, isn't wind and solar power going to save us?
You people are such sheep. How about we just drill for the natural gas and oil we have right in 'merica? Sick of the price of gas gouging you at the pump? You can thank the profligate spending and printing of money by your president and his tax-cheat in charge of the Treasury. As the value of the dollar falls, it takes more of them to buy a barrel of oil. If you need me to explain this bit of basic economics let me know, or better yet, I detailed it in a past post. Search the archives yourself, you may learn something.
The Hilton Garden Inn where I am typing this bit of wisdom smells like kerosene. It did the last time I was here too.
Guess what, i saw in the USA Today that Congress is looking at taxing your employer-provided insurance. Guess that "I will not tax the middle class" rhetoric was just that -- a fucking lie. How do you feel now Obamaites?
Buried deep in the back section, and you can look it up yourself there was an article that the wind volume in North America has decreased significantly in the last 25 years, especially in the Midwest. How can that be, isn't wind and solar power going to save us?
You people are such sheep. How about we just drill for the natural gas and oil we have right in 'merica? Sick of the price of gas gouging you at the pump? You can thank the profligate spending and printing of money by your president and his tax-cheat in charge of the Treasury. As the value of the dollar falls, it takes more of them to buy a barrel of oil. If you need me to explain this bit of basic economics let me know, or better yet, I detailed it in a past post. Search the archives yourself, you may learn something.
The Hilton Garden Inn where I am typing this bit of wisdom smells like kerosene. It did the last time I was here too.
June 10, 2009
Rain on my windows
Happy Humping people. Wednesday is upon us and the work week is nearly half over. Thunderstorms are rolling through the neighborhood this morning and it is raining a steady drumbeat on the skylights. I do not think anything severe is in the works, the frickin' birds are making their morning racket. The rain and distant thunder sounds just like the beginning of The Doors' Riders on the Storm. You can bet I will not be picking up any hitchers today.
I just glanced over that previous paragraph. I typed "frikjon" instead of "frickin'". I amso retarded such a poor speller typist. I have to go back and look, the wife said I had several typos in an email I sent to Blockbuster.com. Why am I emailing Blockbuster?
My wife's birthday was Monday. For a combo birthday/Father's Day gift my daughter and her fiance bought us a three month subscription to blockbuster.com. We can order movies etc. (like netflix). I put in the required info to redeem my gift. The site acknowledged I have three months of service and said my credit card would be billed when that three months was up -- beginning on August 10. That's only two months, bucko. In a chain of emails I get an acknowledgement that indeed my service goes until September 11. The account still says I will be billed in August for the August 10 through September 11 period. The last email said that if they do bill me they will give a refund. I do not want to have this fight two or three months from now, I want it fixed now. We will see what today brings. In the meantime (cue Ted Knight, Superfriends fans), I have a bunch of movies in the que waiting to be shipped to my humble abode.
I just glanced over that previous paragraph. I typed "frikjon" instead of "frickin'". I am
My wife's birthday was Monday. For a combo birthday/Father's Day gift my daughter and her fiance bought us a three month subscription to blockbuster.com. We can order movies etc. (like netflix). I put in the required info to redeem my gift. The site acknowledged I have three months of service and said my credit card would be billed when that three months was up -- beginning on August 10. That's only two months, bucko. In a chain of emails I get an acknowledgement that indeed my service goes until September 11. The account still says I will be billed in August for the August 10 through September 11 period. The last email said that if they do bill me they will give a refund. I do not want to have this fight two or three months from now, I want it fixed now. We will see what today brings. In the meantime (cue Ted Knight, Superfriends fans), I have a bunch of movies in the que waiting to be shipped to my humble abode.
June 9, 2009
What have you done for your country?
I personally saved 10,000 jobs yesterday. It is true because I said so -- prove that I didn't.
You slackers better get busy, between me and The Obama we have saved a ton of jobs.
You slackers better get busy, between me and The Obama we have saved a ton of jobs.
If you did not like the last post...
Only in America, the United States of America!
ONLY IN AMERICA….MUST WE SPEND BILLIONS BECAUSE WE CAN'T LET CHRYSLER & GM GO BANKRUPT, AND THEN, LET CHRYSLER & GM GO BANKRUPT.
ONLY IN AMERICA….CAN CONGRESS FORCE FANNIE AND FREDDIE TO BUY SUBPRIME LOANS, AND THEN BLAME FANNIE AND FREDDIE FOR BUYING SUBPRIME LOANS.
THEN LAY OFF THE CEO's WITH GIANT SEVERENCE PACKAGES AND NATIONALIZE THE COMPANIES FOR THE TAX PAYERS TO PICK UP THE COST !!
ONLY IN AMERICA….A MAJOR CRISIS REQUIRES SWIFT ACTION TO PASS A BILL WITHOUT READING IT, THEN WAIT FOR THREE DAYS BEFORE THE PRESIDENT TAKES THE TIME TO SIGN IT.
ONLY IN AMERICA…. CAN YOU BE LEGALLY ILLEGAL
ONLY IN AMERICA….THE CONGRESS CAN MAKE LAWS THAT THEY DON'T HAVE TO FOLLOW
ONLY IN AMERICA….WHERE YOUR VICE PRESIDENT DECLARES 'JOBS' A 3 LETTER WORD.
ONLY IN AMERICA...DOES THE MILITARY GET INVESTIGATED BY HOMELAND SECURITY AS POSSIBLE TERRORISTS, WHILE OUR BORDERS ARE WIDE OPEN.
ONLY IN AMERICA , CAN YOU GET A TAX REFUND ON TAXES YOU DIDN 'T PAY, AND ONLY IN AMERICA CAN WE HAVE A TREASURY SECRETARY WHO FAILED TO PAY HIS TAXES. ONLY IN AMERICA CAN THE FOX GUARD THE HEN HOUSE.
ONLY IN AMERICA, CAN YOU BLAME OTHERS WHEN YOU DON'T PERFORM
ONLY IN AMERICA, ARE YOU ABLE TO HAVE MORE RIGHTS BEING ILLEGAL, THAN YOU DO LEGAL
ONLY IN AMERICA, CAN YOU BE 13 AND HAVE AN ABORTION WITHOUT TELLING YOUR PARENTS, BUT MUST HAVE A WRITTEN NOTE FROM YOUR PARENT WHEN YOU MISSED SCHOOL.
ONLY IN AMERICA, ARE YOU PUNISHED FOR GOOD PERFORMANCE AND HONORED FOR NON PERFORMANCE.
ONLY IN AMERICA….CAN YOU CALL LARGE CORPORATIONS EVIL, WHILE 99.9% OF AMERICANS WORK IN COMPANIES WITH LESS THAN 500 EMPLOYEES.
ONLY IN AMERICA, CAN CHRYSLER GET 10 BILLION IN AID FOR THEIR COMPANY OF 30,000 EMPLOYEES. I GUESS IT IS DIFFICULT TO RUN A COMPANY FOR $333,333 PER EMPLOYEE.
ONLY IN AMERICA….WE CARE ABOUT 3 GUYS THAT GET WATER UP THE NOSE, WHILE OUR ENEMIES ARE BEHEADING US AND BLOWING CROWDS OF PEOPLE UP WITH SUICIDE BOMBINGS.
ONLY IN AMERICA….CAN YOU SAY OTHER INTERROGATION TECHNIQUES WORK, BUT YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THOSE TECHNIQUES ARE.
ONLY IN AMERIC A…CAN YOU BE PRESIDENT WITHOUT A BIRTH CERTIFICATE
ONLY IN AMERICA, WHATEVER GOES WRONG WILL ALWAYS BE BUSH'S FAULT
LASTLY, HOWEVER, IN AMERICA, YOU CAN ONLY SPEAK AS THE PRESIDENT……… WHEN THE TELEPROMPTER IS ON BECAUSE WITHOUT IT YOU HAVE A HISTORY OF SAYING THE WRONG THING !
an email from my Dad
ONLY IN AMERICA….MUST WE SPEND BILLIONS BECAUSE WE CAN'T LET CHRYSLER & GM GO BANKRUPT, AND THEN, LET CHRYSLER & GM GO BANKRUPT.
ONLY IN AMERICA….CAN CONGRESS FORCE FANNIE AND FREDDIE TO BUY SUBPRIME LOANS, AND THEN BLAME FANNIE AND FREDDIE FOR BUYING SUBPRIME LOANS.
THEN LAY OFF THE CEO's WITH GIANT SEVERENCE PACKAGES AND NATIONALIZE THE COMPANIES FOR THE TAX PAYERS TO PICK UP THE COST !!
ONLY IN AMERICA….A MAJOR CRISIS REQUIRES SWIFT ACTION TO PASS A BILL WITHOUT READING IT, THEN WAIT FOR THREE DAYS BEFORE THE PRESIDENT TAKES THE TIME TO SIGN IT.
ONLY IN AMERICA…. CAN YOU BE LEGALLY ILLEGAL
ONLY IN AMERICA….THE CONGRESS CAN MAKE LAWS THAT THEY DON'T HAVE TO FOLLOW
ONLY IN AMERICA….WHERE YOUR VICE PRESIDENT DECLARES 'JOBS' A 3 LETTER WORD.
ONLY IN AMERICA...DOES THE MILITARY GET INVESTIGATED BY HOMELAND SECURITY AS POSSIBLE TERRORISTS, WHILE OUR BORDERS ARE WIDE OPEN.
ONLY IN AMERICA , CAN YOU GET A TAX REFUND ON TAXES YOU DIDN 'T PAY, AND ONLY IN AMERICA CAN WE HAVE A TREASURY SECRETARY WHO FAILED TO PAY HIS TAXES. ONLY IN AMERICA CAN THE FOX GUARD THE HEN HOUSE.
ONLY IN AMERICA, CAN YOU BLAME OTHERS WHEN YOU DON'T PERFORM
ONLY IN AMERICA, ARE YOU ABLE TO HAVE MORE RIGHTS BEING ILLEGAL, THAN YOU DO LEGAL
ONLY IN AMERICA, CAN YOU BE 13 AND HAVE AN ABORTION WITHOUT TELLING YOUR PARENTS, BUT MUST HAVE A WRITTEN NOTE FROM YOUR PARENT WHEN YOU MISSED SCHOOL.
ONLY IN AMERICA, ARE YOU PUNISHED FOR GOOD PERFORMANCE AND HONORED FOR NON PERFORMANCE.
ONLY IN AMERICA….CAN YOU CALL LARGE CORPORATIONS EVIL, WHILE 99.9% OF AMERICANS WORK IN COMPANIES WITH LESS THAN 500 EMPLOYEES.
ONLY IN AMERICA, CAN CHRYSLER GET 10 BILLION IN AID FOR THEIR COMPANY OF 30,000 EMPLOYEES. I GUESS IT IS DIFFICULT TO RUN A COMPANY FOR $333,333 PER EMPLOYEE.
ONLY IN AMERICA….WE CARE ABOUT 3 GUYS THAT GET WATER UP THE NOSE, WHILE OUR ENEMIES ARE BEHEADING US AND BLOWING CROWDS OF PEOPLE UP WITH SUICIDE BOMBINGS.
ONLY IN AMERICA….CAN YOU SAY OTHER INTERROGATION TECHNIQUES WORK, BUT YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THOSE TECHNIQUES ARE.
ONLY IN AMERIC A…CAN YOU BE PRESIDENT WITHOUT A BIRTH CERTIFICATE
ONLY IN AMERICA, WHATEVER GOES WRONG WILL ALWAYS BE BUSH'S FAULT
LASTLY, HOWEVER, IN AMERICA, YOU CAN ONLY SPEAK AS THE PRESIDENT……… WHEN THE TELEPROMPTER IS ON BECAUSE WITHOUT IT YOU HAVE A HISTORY OF SAYING THE WRONG THING !
an email from my Dad
June 8, 2009
Why I vote Democrat
“ I voted Democrat because I love the fact that I can now marry whatever I want. I've decided to marry my boat.
I voted Democrat because I believe oil companies' profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn't.
I voted Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I ever would.
I voted Democrat because freedom of speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.
I voted Democrat because when we pull out of Iraq I trust that the bad guys will stop what they're doing because they now think we're good people.
I voted Democrat because I'm way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves.
I voted Democrat because I believe that people who can't tell us if it will rain on Friday can tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don't start driving a Prius.
I voted Democrat because I'm not concerned about the slaughter of millions of babies so long as we keep all death row inmates alive.
I voted Democrat because I believe that business should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as IT sees fit.
I voted Democrat because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite The Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would never get their agendas past the voters.
I voted Democrat because my head is so firmly planted up my ass that it is unlikely that I'll ever have another point of view.
"A Liberal is a person who will give away everything they don't own."
”
Merrily
h/t C&S You should be reading C&S every day.
I voted Democrat because I believe oil companies' profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn't.
I voted Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I ever would.
I voted Democrat because freedom of speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.
I voted Democrat because when we pull out of Iraq I trust that the bad guys will stop what they're doing because they now think we're good people.
I voted Democrat because I'm way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves.
I voted Democrat because I believe that people who can't tell us if it will rain on Friday can tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don't start driving a Prius.
I voted Democrat because I'm not concerned about the slaughter of millions of babies so long as we keep all death row inmates alive.
I voted Democrat because I believe that business should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as IT sees fit.
I voted Democrat because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite The Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would never get their agendas past the voters.
I voted Democrat because my head is so firmly planted up my ass that it is unlikely that I'll ever have another point of view.
"A Liberal is a person who will give away everything they don't own."
”
Merrily
h/t C&S You should be reading C&S every day.
June 7, 2009
June 6, 2009
Part three -- the end
The brokerage firm that sold Sam his franchise was very particular. They demanded a certain amount of public service. He was expected to be on local boards and committees. His earlier arrest did not go over well with the company. Senior management explained very succinctly that if he was not trusted clients would not invest with them. His actions reflected upon the company. His bad name was their bad name. They did not threaten. They did not need to. The message was clear to Sam.
Thursday morning found Sam slumped, drunk behind the wheel of his car at a local grocery. The cops arrived. Sam opened an eye and peered at the person tapping at his window. He could only manage a slurred "Huh?". The officer was saying something, but the vodka translated it to sound like the grown-ups in Charlie Brown...wah wah...to Sam's brain. "Huh?", he again asked.
The officer pulled open the door and Sam slid out of the car. His arm got caught in the steering wheel. Sam found this amusing and offered a lopsided grin.
"Sir, are you OK?"
"Huh?"
"Sir, are you OK?"
"Huh?"
The cop called for backup.
Later that evening Sam was released. His son had posted bail. Linda locked him out of the house. Neighbors saw Sam walking the streets of the subdivision, still in his suit and tie. It was after nine at night.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Friday morning dawned bright and sunny. Midmorning, I was working at the computer when I heard the sounds of a truck idling outside. I passed it off as a UPS ruck. Sometime later I realized the truck was still outside, it may have been a few minutes or maybe as much as twenty minutes later. I looked out the window and saw a fire truck outside. I went out to see if the neighbor's house was on fire.
I saw an ambulance and two, three, no, five police cruisers parked outside Sam Cassidy's house across the street. I saw the old lady who lived next door to the Cassidys outside on her porch. I crossed to see what was going on. She said she heard on the scanner that Sam had tried to kill himself. "He is off the wagon again, you know", she confided. "He is such a perfectionist" she gossiped.
I moved here in 1989. The town we chose was half-way between my job and my wife's. As we had no intention of putting the kids in daycare in the capital city, we looked for a babysitter in the small town where I worked. A co-worker recommended a lady she knew. After a year or so, the babysitter said she was no longer going to watch kids, but suggested her sister, who had just moved to the city where we lived from North Carolina. She had kids about the same age as mine. Her name was Linda Cassidy. Over time, Linda and my wife became great friends. They shared many of the same tastes. They shopped together, went to the same playgroups and had a great time. Sometimes all of us would go to a movie or to eat. The kids were great friends as well.
As the Cassidy's lifestyle changed, so did their friends. My wife began to quit calling. Subtle hints and never returned calls can ultimately discourage even the best of friends. If we saw each other we would have a nice conversation, but things were never the same. A few years later we moved to a house across the street, by coincidence. We liked the house, it just happened to be near our old friends.
Linda rarely came outside and avoided conversation with everyone after Sam's first arrest. Her only comment on Sam was only that he had changed, but they were trying to make it work after she let him come home. They took a cruise in March. One April Wednesday Sam and I waved a pleasant greeting over the trash cans. The next day, a Thursday, Sam pulled the vodka bottle from his desk and took a fateful swig.
Some weeks later Sam remains in the hospital. His hands will never be the same after the deep cuts through the tendons and muscles of his wrists. His mental state is even more precarious. You see, now his failure to live the perfect life weighs even heavier. Who will trust their money to a crazy man? The shame, the embarrassment, the humiliation, the failure all depress him further. No amount of medication will erase the front page story of his attempted suicide and arrests from the public image or more importantly, his own memory.
I feel a deep sadness and hopelessness for a family I know. I toss prayers to the heavens, but I am not sure how these lives can ever be fixed. Life goes on and I look at the closed doors of my neighbors and realize I don't know anything about people or life.
Thursday morning found Sam slumped, drunk behind the wheel of his car at a local grocery. The cops arrived. Sam opened an eye and peered at the person tapping at his window. He could only manage a slurred "Huh?". The officer was saying something, but the vodka translated it to sound like the grown-ups in Charlie Brown...wah wah...to Sam's brain. "Huh?", he again asked.
The officer pulled open the door and Sam slid out of the car. His arm got caught in the steering wheel. Sam found this amusing and offered a lopsided grin.
"Sir, are you OK?"
"Huh?"
"Sir, are you OK?"
"Huh?"
The cop called for backup.
Later that evening Sam was released. His son had posted bail. Linda locked him out of the house. Neighbors saw Sam walking the streets of the subdivision, still in his suit and tie. It was after nine at night.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Friday morning dawned bright and sunny. Midmorning, I was working at the computer when I heard the sounds of a truck idling outside. I passed it off as a UPS ruck. Sometime later I realized the truck was still outside, it may have been a few minutes or maybe as much as twenty minutes later. I looked out the window and saw a fire truck outside. I went out to see if the neighbor's house was on fire.
I saw an ambulance and two, three, no, five police cruisers parked outside Sam Cassidy's house across the street. I saw the old lady who lived next door to the Cassidys outside on her porch. I crossed to see what was going on. She said she heard on the scanner that Sam had tried to kill himself. "He is off the wagon again, you know", she confided. "He is such a perfectionist" she gossiped.
I moved here in 1989. The town we chose was half-way between my job and my wife's. As we had no intention of putting the kids in daycare in the capital city, we looked for a babysitter in the small town where I worked. A co-worker recommended a lady she knew. After a year or so, the babysitter said she was no longer going to watch kids, but suggested her sister, who had just moved to the city where we lived from North Carolina. She had kids about the same age as mine. Her name was Linda Cassidy. Over time, Linda and my wife became great friends. They shared many of the same tastes. They shopped together, went to the same playgroups and had a great time. Sometimes all of us would go to a movie or to eat. The kids were great friends as well.
As the Cassidy's lifestyle changed, so did their friends. My wife began to quit calling. Subtle hints and never returned calls can ultimately discourage even the best of friends. If we saw each other we would have a nice conversation, but things were never the same. A few years later we moved to a house across the street, by coincidence. We liked the house, it just happened to be near our old friends.
Linda rarely came outside and avoided conversation with everyone after Sam's first arrest. Her only comment on Sam was only that he had changed, but they were trying to make it work after she let him come home. They took a cruise in March. One April Wednesday Sam and I waved a pleasant greeting over the trash cans. The next day, a Thursday, Sam pulled the vodka bottle from his desk and took a fateful swig.
Some weeks later Sam remains in the hospital. His hands will never be the same after the deep cuts through the tendons and muscles of his wrists. His mental state is even more precarious. You see, now his failure to live the perfect life weighs even heavier. Who will trust their money to a crazy man? The shame, the embarrassment, the humiliation, the failure all depress him further. No amount of medication will erase the front page story of his attempted suicide and arrests from the public image or more importantly, his own memory.
I feel a deep sadness and hopelessness for a family I know. I toss prayers to the heavens, but I am not sure how these lives can ever be fixed. Life goes on and I look at the closed doors of my neighbors and realize I don't know anything about people or life.
June 5, 2009
Part Two
Sam Cassidy married his high school sweetheart. After getting his engineering degree he took a job in the Carolinas. After a few years, the plant he worked was slated to close and at the age of 30 he found himself far from home and out of work. Getting back to his small Indiana hometown took all of their savings. They rented a dumpy house in a run-down neighborhood.
He got on with a local plant and just when things were looking bright he was caught in the downturn of the early 1990's and again found himself out of work. Never again he vowed, and his new career began. Sam was driven to succeed. His attention to detail and logical mind made him very good at managing money and seeing market trends. His franchise grew as clients brought in new business and word of mouth spread his reputation.
The day-to-day pressures began to mount. Every minute failure or lack of perfection depressed him. He had to have everything just right in his life. He loved Linda and the kids more than could be imagined, but Linda had to dress the part -- they were important people. Sam decided the needed to go to a different church. When he told Linda she should lose a few pounds they really had a fight! That she could not see the point depressed him further.
The vacations and cruises help mend the fights. New jewelry helped. Sometimes Sam took a drink or two. That drowned the voices in his head that told him he had to do better. A vicious circle took over his life. He would get depressed. He would get drunk. Ashamed at his weakness, he would get depressed...
Shortly before he was arrested for Public Intoxication, Sam and Linda had a huge fight. She loved him, but she said he had changed. He said she was fighting him, all he wanted was for them to be successful. He even moved out for a while. He begged her to take him back, what would people think? Already some clients had asked him if he had a girlfriend? It might hurt his business he begged. She took him back and he promised to change.
Linda paid the bail for the PI charge. He promised to quit drinking. He meant it. Luckily the incident passed the only public report of his arrest a small blurb in the police blotter. For some months there was an uneasy truce in the house. That Linda remained distant depressed him. That he wanted a drink brought his spirits lower. He tried to smile and hid his feelings deep inside.
Fall came and with it the devastating losses in the stock market. he lost money, and more importantly his clients lost money. Some blamed him. He went to visit an important client. The farmer lived out in the outer reaches of the county and Sam took a terrible berating. In the end, the wealthy farmer knew it was not his investment brokers fault, but he was angry over losing more than a third of his wealth in a few weeks.
Sam took it personal, and it was more than he could stand. he stopped at a small liquor store and bought some vodka. He hid it in his desk. A nip here and a nip there and no one will know the difference. Things bounced along for a few months.
One Thursday Sam came to work in a bad mood. he and Linda had fought the night before. He could not remember why, but she knew he had been drinking again. Linda actually cursed at him, he had rarely heard even a 'damn" from her lips in more than20 years of marriage! He was so disappointed in himself. He reached for the vodka in his desk. By nine o'clock he was too drunk to work and told his secretary he was going out for a few hours.
He headed for home. As pulled in the drive he hit the garage opener, but the door did not open. He realized this as he skidded to a stop too late. The door was buckled. He knew Linda was going to be mad when she got home from work. His alcohol riddled brain told him the best recourse was to leave and think it out. He drove to a nearby supermarket and parked. "Think, Sam, think". Instead he passed out.
Customers noticed the BMW parked sideways in the lot and called the police. A man was either dead or passed out behind the wheel. Perfection was now about to be unattainable for Sam Cassidy.
He got on with a local plant and just when things were looking bright he was caught in the downturn of the early 1990's and again found himself out of work. Never again he vowed, and his new career began. Sam was driven to succeed. His attention to detail and logical mind made him very good at managing money and seeing market trends. His franchise grew as clients brought in new business and word of mouth spread his reputation.
The day-to-day pressures began to mount. Every minute failure or lack of perfection depressed him. He had to have everything just right in his life. He loved Linda and the kids more than could be imagined, but Linda had to dress the part -- they were important people. Sam decided the needed to go to a different church. When he told Linda she should lose a few pounds they really had a fight! That she could not see the point depressed him further.
The vacations and cruises help mend the fights. New jewelry helped. Sometimes Sam took a drink or two. That drowned the voices in his head that told him he had to do better. A vicious circle took over his life. He would get depressed. He would get drunk. Ashamed at his weakness, he would get depressed...
Shortly before he was arrested for Public Intoxication, Sam and Linda had a huge fight. She loved him, but she said he had changed. He said she was fighting him, all he wanted was for them to be successful. He even moved out for a while. He begged her to take him back, what would people think? Already some clients had asked him if he had a girlfriend? It might hurt his business he begged. She took him back and he promised to change.
Linda paid the bail for the PI charge. He promised to quit drinking. He meant it. Luckily the incident passed the only public report of his arrest a small blurb in the police blotter. For some months there was an uneasy truce in the house. That Linda remained distant depressed him. That he wanted a drink brought his spirits lower. He tried to smile and hid his feelings deep inside.
Fall came and with it the devastating losses in the stock market. he lost money, and more importantly his clients lost money. Some blamed him. He went to visit an important client. The farmer lived out in the outer reaches of the county and Sam took a terrible berating. In the end, the wealthy farmer knew it was not his investment brokers fault, but he was angry over losing more than a third of his wealth in a few weeks.
Sam took it personal, and it was more than he could stand. he stopped at a small liquor store and bought some vodka. He hid it in his desk. A nip here and a nip there and no one will know the difference. Things bounced along for a few months.
One Thursday Sam came to work in a bad mood. he and Linda had fought the night before. He could not remember why, but she knew he had been drinking again. Linda actually cursed at him, he had rarely heard even a 'damn" from her lips in more than20 years of marriage! He was so disappointed in himself. He reached for the vodka in his desk. By nine o'clock he was too drunk to work and told his secretary he was going out for a few hours.
He headed for home. As pulled in the drive he hit the garage opener, but the door did not open. He realized this as he skidded to a stop too late. The door was buckled. He knew Linda was going to be mad when she got home from work. His alcohol riddled brain told him the best recourse was to leave and think it out. He drove to a nearby supermarket and parked. "Think, Sam, think". Instead he passed out.
Customers noticed the BMW parked sideways in the lot and called the police. A man was either dead or passed out behind the wheel. Perfection was now about to be unattainable for Sam Cassidy.
June 4, 2009
Obama Motors II
Here is another scenario where I need some help. I am not an economist, nor have I run an automotive company. Neither has anyone on the Obama Automotive Task Force, by the way. On the other hand, I have spent a good portion of my life in sales and marketing.
As I understand the automotive retail business, a dealer is given a franchise to sell a brand of vehicles. He buys the cars from the manufacturer at a discount, but the dealer owns the car until he can sell it to me, Joe Consumer. The dealer also owns a parts inventory to repair the cars he sells (the real money maker).
I understand that by having fewer dealerships that allows the surviving dealers to have less competition. By any business model this means he CAN charge a higher price for his car.
Herein lies is my confusion. At any given period in time there are X number of people looking to by a car. That means only X cars will be sold. How does eliminating dealerships sell more cars for the manufacturer? If I am going to buy a car I go first to the local dealer. If he does not have the price or model I want I expand my search. Many people are brand loyal, some are not. The latter will likely buy local, so if there is a Ford dealer in town he gets the business when the GM and Chrysler dealerships go. But in the end, the car market is only what the consumer wants to buy at a given time.
In fact, since the dealer buys the cars from the auto maker, then fewer dealers will mean fewer cars sitting in dealer inventories and the demand on the maker will actually decrease. If there are three GM dealers in a fifty mile range, all have to carry a certain amount of inventory to entice me, Joe Consumer to buy. If I am looking for a Chevy Malibu, then I can price them at each dealer and choose the features and color based on who has the car in stock. I can negotiate a price and order the car if I choose. But I have choices. More importantly GM has sold THREE Malibus to the three dealers. If two of those dealers close, then the remaining one likely makes more money on the sale since there is no competition, but GM only sells one Malibu to one dealer. They have lost two thirds of their sales. But no matter how many dealerships there are, GM will only sold one Malibu to the end consumer. The number of dealerships has no effect on the demand in the marketplace.
I do understand that in a down economy the dealers will not order more cars from the manufacturer until their existing inventory moves. Again, that is a function of the end consumer. Demand will drive those orders and fewer dealers is only a very, very short term fix. As soon as the demand increases the net effect of fewer dealers will do more harm than good. If you cut off your leg at the ankle you no longer have an issue with that rusty nail in your foot, but long-term that may have not been the best solution.
The real driver of the industry is enticing the consumer to buy, not the number of places he can buy. GM and Chrysler's problem arise from the product offering, quality, and price -- not the number of dealers. The two are not related. In fact, from a marketing point of view, the auto makers should want the consumer to have more choices to buy, not fewer (the salesman wants fewer choices so he can command a higher price, but that is a different side of the coin). Every time the consumer sees a new Ram or Durango or Corvette, that is a time that the consumer might think "I sure like that truck or car, maybe I will buy one". One axiom is true in marketing -- out of sight, out of mind. Why do you think companies advertise?
The bottom line is this. How will fewer dealers increase sales for the auto companies? Will GM charge more to the remaining dealers, because that is the only way I can see that makes any sense. That will increase profitability to the maker, but is no guarantee of end sales. If that is the case, the price of a GM product will be passed to the consumer and he will then buy a Ford or Honda or a Toyota.
Either I am wrong on some basics facts, or my 20 years in sales and marketing have been wasted, because I don't know a damned thing. Help me understand, readers.
Edit: here a real writer says it much better
Seriously, those of you who called me crazy and said Iwas paranoid when I claimed Obama would lead us to socialism -- what say you now?
As I understand the automotive retail business, a dealer is given a franchise to sell a brand of vehicles. He buys the cars from the manufacturer at a discount, but the dealer owns the car until he can sell it to me, Joe Consumer. The dealer also owns a parts inventory to repair the cars he sells (the real money maker).
I understand that by having fewer dealerships that allows the surviving dealers to have less competition. By any business model this means he CAN charge a higher price for his car.
Herein lies is my confusion. At any given period in time there are X number of people looking to by a car. That means only X cars will be sold. How does eliminating dealerships sell more cars for the manufacturer? If I am going to buy a car I go first to the local dealer. If he does not have the price or model I want I expand my search. Many people are brand loyal, some are not. The latter will likely buy local, so if there is a Ford dealer in town he gets the business when the GM and Chrysler dealerships go. But in the end, the car market is only what the consumer wants to buy at a given time.
In fact, since the dealer buys the cars from the auto maker, then fewer dealers will mean fewer cars sitting in dealer inventories and the demand on the maker will actually decrease. If there are three GM dealers in a fifty mile range, all have to carry a certain amount of inventory to entice me, Joe Consumer to buy. If I am looking for a Chevy Malibu, then I can price them at each dealer and choose the features and color based on who has the car in stock. I can negotiate a price and order the car if I choose. But I have choices. More importantly GM has sold THREE Malibus to the three dealers. If two of those dealers close, then the remaining one likely makes more money on the sale since there is no competition, but GM only sells one Malibu to one dealer. They have lost two thirds of their sales. But no matter how many dealerships there are, GM will only sold one Malibu to the end consumer. The number of dealerships has no effect on the demand in the marketplace.
I do understand that in a down economy the dealers will not order more cars from the manufacturer until their existing inventory moves. Again, that is a function of the end consumer. Demand will drive those orders and fewer dealers is only a very, very short term fix. As soon as the demand increases the net effect of fewer dealers will do more harm than good. If you cut off your leg at the ankle you no longer have an issue with that rusty nail in your foot, but long-term that may have not been the best solution.
The real driver of the industry is enticing the consumer to buy, not the number of places he can buy. GM and Chrysler's problem arise from the product offering, quality, and price -- not the number of dealers. The two are not related. In fact, from a marketing point of view, the auto makers should want the consumer to have more choices to buy, not fewer (the salesman wants fewer choices so he can command a higher price, but that is a different side of the coin). Every time the consumer sees a new Ram or Durango or Corvette, that is a time that the consumer might think "I sure like that truck or car, maybe I will buy one". One axiom is true in marketing -- out of sight, out of mind. Why do you think companies advertise?
The bottom line is this. How will fewer dealers increase sales for the auto companies? Will GM charge more to the remaining dealers, because that is the only way I can see that makes any sense. That will increase profitability to the maker, but is no guarantee of end sales. If that is the case, the price of a GM product will be passed to the consumer and he will then buy a Ford or Honda or a Toyota.
Either I am wrong on some basics facts, or my 20 years in sales and marketing have been wasted, because I don't know a damned thing. Help me understand, readers.
Edit: here a real writer says it much better
Seriously, those of you who called me crazy and said Iwas paranoid when I claimed Obama would lead us to socialism -- what say you now?
Obama Motors
I am not a lawyer, I never even have played one on TV, so maybe some of you can help me here.
If I were Ford,Toyota, Honda,Mitsubishi, Subaru, BMW or any other car manufacturer producing cars in the US, the first time GM or Chrysler placed an ad on TV I would sue. Or if GM offers a rebate to buyers of their cars isn't that using Federal tax dollars to promote one business over the other? Surely there is some kind of statute against that? Isn't there an issue with the Commerce Clause here? If the Commerce Clause can be invoked to promote abortion, surely it is in place to prevent the Government from taking tax dollars and giving it to tax payers who choose to purchase certain cars manufactured by certain companies? The other auto companies played by the rules, pay their taxes, a run a profitable business (or at least absorb the losses). Their reward is to have their competitors propped up by the Government. Loans are one thing, ownership is another.
How will the Government have open and honest bidding when it comes to procuring the millions of vehicles it buys? Can it force GM and Chrysler to offer more competitive bids? How does Ford even compete when they are bidding against the owners of their competitors?
In a final word that will no doubt excite my liberal readers to hyperbole -- when the government takes over the means of production previously held by private enterprise, that is fascism in its purest form. After all, Mussolini only wanted the trains to run on time.
If I were Ford,Toyota, Honda,Mitsubishi, Subaru, BMW or any other car manufacturer producing cars in the US, the first time GM or Chrysler placed an ad on TV I would sue. Or if GM offers a rebate to buyers of their cars isn't that using Federal tax dollars to promote one business over the other? Surely there is some kind of statute against that? Isn't there an issue with the Commerce Clause here? If the Commerce Clause can be invoked to promote abortion, surely it is in place to prevent the Government from taking tax dollars and giving it to tax payers who choose to purchase certain cars manufactured by certain companies? The other auto companies played by the rules, pay their taxes, a run a profitable business (or at least absorb the losses). Their reward is to have their competitors propped up by the Government. Loans are one thing, ownership is another.
How will the Government have open and honest bidding when it comes to procuring the millions of vehicles it buys? Can it force GM and Chrysler to offer more competitive bids? How does Ford even compete when they are bidding against the owners of their competitors?
In a final word that will no doubt excite my liberal readers to hyperbole -- when the government takes over the means of production previously held by private enterprise, that is fascism in its purest form. After all, Mussolini only wanted the trains to run on time.
June 2, 2009
Part One of a semi-true story
Sam Cassidy had it all: a gorgeous wife, smart good-looking kids, a girl and a boy -- exactly two years apart. He owned a successful investment firm, a house in the right neighborhood, good cars. His yard was weed-free and perfect. His roses and flowers looked as if they were in a magazine. His suits fit perfect and even the soles of his shoes were polished. He had everything, including depression and a drinking problem.
Sam was trained as an engineer and to him details were important. He walked a thin tightrope. He believed that when dealing with other people's money one had to be very careful. Sam had to look successful without appearing too successful. He had to be just well-off enough to make others believe he could make money for them. He also had to make sure it did not appear he was getting rich on someone else's money.
A perfectionist, appearances were everything. He had a BMW, but a used one. He put his wife on a diet. He threw out her comfortable sweats she used to wear when she babysat for other kids to make ends meet. Those days were far behind them. The Cassidys quit hanging out with old friends to socialize with mere acquaintances in the right social circles. They moved to a house in one of the better subdivisions, not the best, just successful enough. As the business grew, the money started to pour in. They both liked the idea of being successful, of vacations, of buying all the things they wanted. At first Linda was uncomfortable ditching her old shopping buddies, but in time it became easier to ignore the calls, and soon the phone quit ringing.
Sam set lofty goals in his personal and professional life. He would be a success. Everyone would know. Today marked the end of his stint as president of the local Chamber of Commerce. To top it off, he had just been named to the Platinum Club for by the parent of his successful investment franchise.
Sam decided to go have a drink to celebrate. One turned into three and others followed as the evening turned to night. He talked and drank with people he knew, but one by one they went home to dinner with their friends and families. Deep in his brain Sam knew real friends would stay and celebrate his success. He buried those thoughts under gin and tonic tasting ice cubes. He thumped the table with pride.
As he stood to leave Sam realized he was more than a little drunk. He decided he had better not drive. How would it look to everyone in this small town if he was arrested for DUI? He picked up his briefcase and began the two mile trek towards home. As he walked home in the last days of October's Indian summer the alcohol really kicked in. The sidewalk was bucking like a ship on the ocean. Sam began to list the things in his life that were not perfect. Could he ask the neighbor across the street to kill the weeds and fertilize his raggedy lawn? They were once good friends, now they only talked a quick greeting as they put out the trash on Wednesday mornings. It would be a tricky thing. No power to concentrate, his inebriated brain moved on.
Mandy. His beautiful daughter posed a problem. She was so smart and pretty. She had the world before her. She had made the Dean's List every semester so far at college. medical school was in the future, even though Mandy was but a sophomore she was already studying the MCAT guides. Then there was her infatuation with Greg. Him. To be fair, Sam liked the boy, he was handsome, intelligent and hard-working. But he was in the Army. Raised by a single mom, the military was Greg Fitch's ticket to college. Only now Greg was telling Mandy he actually enjoyed the Army. Sam shook his head in anger, that boy was not right for her. What would people think, her traipsing around the globe with a, what is an E3 anyway?
His son David was in love with a French girl. A foreign exchange student. He was already talking about going with her back to France at the end of his senior year in high school. David had told Sam "I am eighteen. I will graduate in May, there is nothing you can do about it". Sam again lost his train of thought.
Details, details. The list of things to do at work flashed in a disjointed film clip through his brainpan. "Mr. Hovarth..tomorrow I need to transfer for Mr. Hovarth...I am not paying for him to go to France...Mandy will probably have to go to France with that assho..man, I am tired...the best fucking president that Chamber ever had...where is my car...maybe Linda will want to have some sex later, it has been a long time...I have to do something for Mr. Hovarth..."
He sat the briefcase down as it was getting heavy. He swayed on his feet a moment and contemplated taking off his suit coat. He noticed a scuff on his wingtip and frowned. "Those shoes cost $250 and now they are ruined", he mumbled to himself. He scratched the back of his head a minute, already forgetting the shoes in the alcohol fog. Jutting his jaw, he squinted into the night. He sort of recognized where he was. Straight or right turn? He staggered across the street splitting the difference. As he neared the curb he began to see bright flashes of light. "Cool", he thought to himself. Short of the curb he set a zigzag course down the street. The lights began to circle his head, a red, white and blue firework show. Then he heard the woop of the siren as the police car slowed to a crawl behind him.
"Some one's day is fucked", Sam muttered with a half smile. The cop looked out his window at the obvious drunk staggering down the side street carrying a briefcase. He shook his head and hit the siren another short blast.
For Sam Cassidy attaining the appearance of perfection was about to get a lot harder.
Sam was trained as an engineer and to him details were important. He walked a thin tightrope. He believed that when dealing with other people's money one had to be very careful. Sam had to look successful without appearing too successful. He had to be just well-off enough to make others believe he could make money for them. He also had to make sure it did not appear he was getting rich on someone else's money.
A perfectionist, appearances were everything. He had a BMW, but a used one. He put his wife on a diet. He threw out her comfortable sweats she used to wear when she babysat for other kids to make ends meet. Those days were far behind them. The Cassidys quit hanging out with old friends to socialize with mere acquaintances in the right social circles. They moved to a house in one of the better subdivisions, not the best, just successful enough. As the business grew, the money started to pour in. They both liked the idea of being successful, of vacations, of buying all the things they wanted. At first Linda was uncomfortable ditching her old shopping buddies, but in time it became easier to ignore the calls, and soon the phone quit ringing.
Sam set lofty goals in his personal and professional life. He would be a success. Everyone would know. Today marked the end of his stint as president of the local Chamber of Commerce. To top it off, he had just been named to the Platinum Club for by the parent of his successful investment franchise.
Sam decided to go have a drink to celebrate. One turned into three and others followed as the evening turned to night. He talked and drank with people he knew, but one by one they went home to dinner with their friends and families. Deep in his brain Sam knew real friends would stay and celebrate his success. He buried those thoughts under gin and tonic tasting ice cubes. He thumped the table with pride.
As he stood to leave Sam realized he was more than a little drunk. He decided he had better not drive. How would it look to everyone in this small town if he was arrested for DUI? He picked up his briefcase and began the two mile trek towards home. As he walked home in the last days of October's Indian summer the alcohol really kicked in. The sidewalk was bucking like a ship on the ocean. Sam began to list the things in his life that were not perfect. Could he ask the neighbor across the street to kill the weeds and fertilize his raggedy lawn? They were once good friends, now they only talked a quick greeting as they put out the trash on Wednesday mornings. It would be a tricky thing. No power to concentrate, his inebriated brain moved on.
Mandy. His beautiful daughter posed a problem. She was so smart and pretty. She had the world before her. She had made the Dean's List every semester so far at college. medical school was in the future, even though Mandy was but a sophomore she was already studying the MCAT guides. Then there was her infatuation with Greg. Him. To be fair, Sam liked the boy, he was handsome, intelligent and hard-working. But he was in the Army. Raised by a single mom, the military was Greg Fitch's ticket to college. Only now Greg was telling Mandy he actually enjoyed the Army. Sam shook his head in anger, that boy was not right for her. What would people think, her traipsing around the globe with a, what is an E3 anyway?
His son David was in love with a French girl. A foreign exchange student. He was already talking about going with her back to France at the end of his senior year in high school. David had told Sam "I am eighteen. I will graduate in May, there is nothing you can do about it". Sam again lost his train of thought.
Details, details. The list of things to do at work flashed in a disjointed film clip through his brainpan. "Mr. Hovarth..tomorrow I need to transfer for Mr. Hovarth...I am not paying for him to go to France...Mandy will probably have to go to France with that assho..man, I am tired...the best fucking president that Chamber ever had...where is my car...maybe Linda will want to have some sex later, it has been a long time...I have to do something for Mr. Hovarth..."
He sat the briefcase down as it was getting heavy. He swayed on his feet a moment and contemplated taking off his suit coat. He noticed a scuff on his wingtip and frowned. "Those shoes cost $250 and now they are ruined", he mumbled to himself. He scratched the back of his head a minute, already forgetting the shoes in the alcohol fog. Jutting his jaw, he squinted into the night. He sort of recognized where he was. Straight or right turn? He staggered across the street splitting the difference. As he neared the curb he began to see bright flashes of light. "Cool", he thought to himself. Short of the curb he set a zigzag course down the street. The lights began to circle his head, a red, white and blue firework show. Then he heard the woop of the siren as the police car slowed to a crawl behind him.
"Some one's day is fucked", Sam muttered with a half smile. The cop looked out his window at the obvious drunk staggering down the side street carrying a briefcase. He shook his head and hit the siren another short blast.
For Sam Cassidy attaining the appearance of perfection was about to get a lot harder.
June 1, 2009
I want to thank you
I hit 100,000 visitors today. Some of you get that many in a quarter. The really big dogs get that a week. I am pretty proud anyhow. When I started this pig I got three hits a day. Two were me.
After four years and nearly 2200 posts I think I have said all I can. Since March 22, 2005 when I made my un-noticed entrance into the Internet world until now some 1,532 days have passed us by. I have covered my life, politics, and I hope a few jokes in the 2,170 posts (counting this one)I have written in that time. That is a rate of about three posts every two days. That is a lot of words. For you detractors I will be quick to admit often this is a place of quantity, not quality. I never claimed to be a writer, just your Average Joe with something to say. Have I said it well? Probably not. But I have put my life, my sense of humor and my opinion out there for the world to comment and critique -- spelling issues and all.
Since I started typing posts on this insignificant record of my life, my daughter graduated high school and college. She got engaged. My oldest son graduated high school, broke his collarbone and has grown into a fine musician and man. He is in college. My youngest broke his arm played a lot of sports and will get his driver's licence in a few months. He is growing into a fine young man as well. Several great bloggers lived and died. Many more have disappeared from the blogosphere.
In those four years I have changed jobs. We have moved twice. In those four years I have been through some of the lowest points of my life and scaled some personal peaks. This pig helped me through both the highs and lows, even if I did not relate all of the stories here. Your comments and discussions have been my life bouy on more than one occasion.
How long will this place last? I don't know. Another untended site waits in the wings for my new personality to bring it back to life. I have not posted there in months. I barely have anything to say here, let alone on another piece o' crap blog. I feel the pressure of my own making to posts something every day. If I had devoted the words to a novel I have spent here I would be finished with my story. On the other hand I would not have your comments and the joy of reading your blogs each day.
What is the point here? Simply, I want to say thank you to every one of you. I know I sound like a long-ago Sally Field Oscar speech when I write I cannot believe you take time from your life to stop by and read my drivel, my rants, my boring life stories, my jokes. I do not possess the vocabulary or writing skills to adequately express what each and every one of the 100,000 visits means to me.
You are the finest people I have never met, and I am proud to call you my friends.
Thank you, Wapsaw, Baie dankie, Gui lah hui te ha, Saeamat kimo, Faleminderit, Shukran, Merci, Eskerrik asko, Doh je, Yokoke, Tak, Dank u, Tashakkur, Danke schön, Efcharisto, Mahalo, Toda, Köszönöm, Go raibh maith agaibh, Grazie, Arigato, Komapsumnida, Gratiam habeo, Xie xie, Dziekuje, Obrigado, Hvala, Gracias, Cám ơn, Yuscotoya...well, you get the idea.
This is the lucky visitor:
Fat in Indiana
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Visit Number 100,000
After four years and nearly 2200 posts I think I have said all I can. Since March 22, 2005 when I made my un-noticed entrance into the Internet world until now some 1,532 days have passed us by. I have covered my life, politics, and I hope a few jokes in the 2,170 posts (counting this one)I have written in that time. That is a rate of about three posts every two days. That is a lot of words. For you detractors I will be quick to admit often this is a place of quantity, not quality. I never claimed to be a writer, just your Average Joe with something to say. Have I said it well? Probably not. But I have put my life, my sense of humor and my opinion out there for the world to comment and critique -- spelling issues and all.
Since I started typing posts on this insignificant record of my life, my daughter graduated high school and college. She got engaged. My oldest son graduated high school, broke his collarbone and has grown into a fine musician and man. He is in college. My youngest broke his arm played a lot of sports and will get his driver's licence in a few months. He is growing into a fine young man as well. Several great bloggers lived and died. Many more have disappeared from the blogosphere.
In those four years I have changed jobs. We have moved twice. In those four years I have been through some of the lowest points of my life and scaled some personal peaks. This pig helped me through both the highs and lows, even if I did not relate all of the stories here. Your comments and discussions have been my life bouy on more than one occasion.
How long will this place last? I don't know. Another untended site waits in the wings for my new personality to bring it back to life. I have not posted there in months. I barely have anything to say here, let alone on another piece o' crap blog. I feel the pressure of my own making to posts something every day. If I had devoted the words to a novel I have spent here I would be finished with my story. On the other hand I would not have your comments and the joy of reading your blogs each day.
What is the point here? Simply, I want to say thank you to every one of you. I know I sound like a long-ago Sally Field Oscar speech when I write I cannot believe you take time from your life to stop by and read my drivel, my rants, my boring life stories, my jokes. I do not possess the vocabulary or writing skills to adequately express what each and every one of the 100,000 visits means to me.
You are the finest people I have never met, and I am proud to call you my friends.
Thank you, Wapsaw, Baie dankie, Gui lah hui te ha, Saeamat kimo, Faleminderit, Shukran, Merci, Eskerrik asko, Doh je, Yokoke, Tak, Dank u, Tashakkur, Danke schön, Efcharisto, Mahalo, Toda, Köszönöm, Go raibh maith agaibh, Grazie, Arigato, Komapsumnida, Gratiam habeo, Xie xie, Dziekuje, Obrigado, Hvala, Gracias, Cám ơn, Yuscotoya...well, you get the idea.
This is the lucky visitor:
Fat in Indiana
By Details > Visit Detail
Visit 100,000
[<<] [>>]
Domain Name (Unknown)
IP Address 70.103.72.# (Electric Lightwave)
ISP Electric Lightwave
Location Continent : North America
Country : United States (Facts)
State : West Virginia
City : Shady Spring
Lat/Long : 37.741, -81.013 (Map)
Language English (U.S.)
en-us
Operating System Microsoft WinXP
Browser Internet Explorer 7.0
Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 7.0; Windows NT 5.1; GTB6; .NET CLR 1.1.4322; .NET CLR 2.0.50727; .NET CLR 3.0.4506.2152; .NET CLR 3.5.30729)
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Where I cover a miriad of topics
I had a weird weekend.
The avian sector of the ecosystem continues its assault on my house. Saturday morning as I was making my coffee I noticed a disgusting splatter on my kitchen window/screen. Whatever it was had run down the window. I went out see and discovered it was eggs smashed on my window, at least two. They were small bird eggs, not the eating/throwing/baking chicken egg kind. In addition there were eggs smeared across my grill and broken eggshells on my deck. All appeared to have travelled from west to east before being smashed. None were in a place where they could have fallen from a nest. Did a hawk or owl drop them? Did a crazed dove continue its attack and shoot the missile from the egg chute in an all out aerial bombardment of my property? Have you seen such a thing?
I went out to get my paper Saturday morning. As I walked on the porch I heard a loud voice talking. As I reached my mailbox/paperbox, I noticed the neighbor girl standing in her front yard practicing her speech for graduation. It was just strange to see her standing there gesticulating to the empty street.
Sometimes life is bizarre.
The avian sector of the ecosystem continues its assault on my house. Saturday morning as I was making my coffee I noticed a disgusting splatter on my kitchen window/screen. Whatever it was had run down the window. I went out see and discovered it was eggs smashed on my window, at least two. They were small bird eggs, not the eating/throwing/baking chicken egg kind. In addition there were eggs smeared across my grill and broken eggshells on my deck. All appeared to have travelled from west to east before being smashed. None were in a place where they could have fallen from a nest. Did a hawk or owl drop them? Did a crazed dove continue its attack and shoot the missile from the egg chute in an all out aerial bombardment of my property? Have you seen such a thing?
I went out to get my paper Saturday morning. As I walked on the porch I heard a loud voice talking. As I reached my mailbox/paperbox, I noticed the neighbor girl standing in her front yard practicing her speech for graduation. It was just strange to see her standing there gesticulating to the empty street.
Sometimes life is bizarre.
May 30, 2009
May 29, 2009
What to read
Over there on the right you can see that for about the last two weeks I have had nothing to read. That is not exactly true, I found a half read biography of the band YES I finished. Over the weekend I read The Boy in the Striped Pajamas on the recommendation of my daughter. I will not link it because the book is a total complete piece of crap. I hate the main character. He is supposed to be nine. He is maybe three emotionally and intellectually. What a putz. I hate the author's trite twisting of language. The boy, Bruno, calls Hitler "The Fury" and Auschwitz "out-with" and even refers to the place as "out with" fun and "out with" old friends. Too bad the characters are German and would never use English words as substitutes. This annoyed me to no end. Since the book sucked there is no chance I will watch the movie version.
negative 9 stars out of 5.
I will gladly take recommendation s for books to read. Nothing scary, I hate Stephen King books, for instance. Help a brother here, will ya?
negative 9 stars out of 5.
I will gladly take recommendation s for books to read. Nothing scary, I hate Stephen King books, for instance. Help a brother here, will ya?
Yep
I just spent a inordinate amount of time writing a long post. The gist was that I have nothing to say.
The above twenty words pretty much cover it.
The above twenty words pretty much cover it.
May 28, 2009
Come Back!
I watched Shane last night. I love that movie. The visuals are stunning and the story is quite good. I would like to punch the whiny kid right in the mouth, and the woman is annoying, but in all it is everything one could want in a movie, especially a western. I think some of the best westerns have a similar theme, the lone hero who sacrifices himself for the good of the whole. You see it in High Noon, The Lone Ranger, and later in The Shootist and Pale Rider. A similar theme is present in some of Louis L"Amour's westerns (think Kilkenny) as well.
Shane wants to give up his gunfighting past, but in the end it is up to him to save the homesteaders from the brutal rancher. I believe this idea resonated strongly with the post-war audiences. The movie is about loyalty, friendship and honor.
The story shows the rancher's view also. Sometimes in life there is no compromise. I love the fact that the director tried to accurately portray not only the life of the period, but strives for accuracy in clothing, the buildings and the language and culture.
May 27, 2009
Today's test of common sense
"I would hope that a wise white man with the richness of his experiences would more often than not reach a better conclusion than a female or black or Hispanic who hasn’t lived that life"
If a candidate for office were to utter these words he would be immediately disqualified. He could not be elected dog catcher, forget a nomination to the Supreme Court of the United States. He would be branded as the racist asshole he undoubtedly is. Wouldn't we worry about his ability to serve Justice blindly? Wouldn't you be concerned he would make judgements based not on the law, but instead on his prejudices and bias?
"I would hope that a wise Latina woman with the richness of her experiences would more often than not reach a better conclusion than a white male who hasn’t lived that life,” - Judge Sonia Sotomayor
What is the difference?
update:
To Senators of both political parties,
This is not about whether you gain or lose long-term Hispanic votes. Think of the country instead of your party for once. This is the time to be the color/gender blind lawmakers you all profess to be. It is about her Judicial record. Is someone who has had 60% of her decisions reversed in a higher court really the competent jurist we are led to believe?
May 26, 2009
New and Improved with political insight you can not find elsewhere
If that is what you are looking for you should do a little more surfing of the interwebz. Consider this today's post.
Remind yourself, as you click away, you get what you pay for.
Remind yourself, as you click away, you get what you pay for.
May 24, 2009
Sunday
The holiday weekend moves into day 2. Yesterday the boy played a double-header, the last games of the season. He did not play especially well. He had an error in each game -- the first two all season. Neither affected the outcome of the game.
In the afternoon we attended a wedding. One of my daughter's best friends entered into Holy Matrimony. My daughter was one of the bridesmaids. We did not stay too late at the reception. I think the wife would have stayed a little longer, but I was bored.
I have nothing on tap for the balance of the weekend. The yard is mowed. I could do some work in the flower beds, but I do not want to. I do have to drag out the hose and maybe the power washer since the birds are still on the warpath. They have crapped all over my deck, the patio table and chairs, my grill. I have never seen so much crap. It is like someone used my easy-living space for target practice with a paint gun loaded with white paint. I am going to have to find a pellet gun, I guess.
I know it must be nearby, but I cannot find the nest. In fact. I never see them out there, just their shit.
I hear there is a race or two today, I will watch neither. I might be persuaded to have a cold beer and a cigar if it does not rain.
Have a great weekend.
In the afternoon we attended a wedding. One of my daughter's best friends entered into Holy Matrimony. My daughter was one of the bridesmaids. We did not stay too late at the reception. I think the wife would have stayed a little longer, but I was bored.
I have nothing on tap for the balance of the weekend. The yard is mowed. I could do some work in the flower beds, but I do not want to. I do have to drag out the hose and maybe the power washer since the birds are still on the warpath. They have crapped all over my deck, the patio table and chairs, my grill. I have never seen so much crap. It is like someone used my easy-living space for target practice with a paint gun loaded with white paint. I am going to have to find a pellet gun, I guess.
I know it must be nearby, but I cannot find the nest. In fact. I never see them out there, just their shit.
I hear there is a race or two today, I will watch neither. I might be persuaded to have a cold beer and a cigar if it does not rain.
Have a great weekend.
May 23, 2009
May 22, 2009
Today's Earworm
It was the third of June, another sleepy, dusty Delta day
I was out choppin' cotton and my brother was balin' hay
And at dinner time we stopped and walked back to the house to eat
And Mama hollered out the back door "y'all remember to wipe your feet"
And then she said "I got some news this mornin' from Choctaw Ridge"
"Today Billy Joe MacAllister jumped off the Tallahatchie Bridge"
And Papa said to Mama as he passed around the blackeyed peas
"Well, Billy Joe never had a lick of sense, pass the biscuits, please"
"There's five more acres in the lower forty I've got to plow"
And Mama said it was shame about Billy Joe, anyhow
Seems like nothin' ever comes to no good up on Choctaw Ridge
And now Billy Joe MacAllister's jumped off the Tallahatchie Bridge
And Brother said he recollected when he and Tom and Billie Joe
Put a frog down my back at the Carroll County picture show
And wasn't I talkin' to him after church last Sunday night?
"I'll have another piece of apple pie, you know it don't seem right"
"I saw him at the sawmill yesterday on Choctaw Ridge"
"And now you tell me Billie Joe's jumped off the Tallahatchie Bridge"
And Mama said to me "Child, what's happened to your appetite?"
"I've been cookin' all morning and you haven't touched a single bite"
"That nice young preacher, Brother Taylor, dropped by today"
"Said he'd be pleased to have dinner on Sunday, oh, by the way"
"He said he saw a girl that looked a lot like you up on Choctaw Ridge"
"And she and Billy Joe was throwing somethin' off the Tallahatchie Bridge"
A year has come 'n' gone since we heard the news 'bout Billy Joe
And Brother married Becky Thompson, they bought a store in Tupelo
There was a virus going 'round, Papa caught it and he died last Spring
And now Mama doesn't seem to wanna do much of anything
And me, I spend a lot of time pickin' flowers up on Choctaw Ridge
And drop them into the muddy water off the Tallahatchie Bridge
The movie sucked. And since Bobbi Gentry said she does not know what was chucked from the bridge or even why Billy Joe jumped, I will not speculate.
May 20, 2009
Some people can't let sleeping dogs lie
Go on over, offer your two cents. If I am wrong say so. If you think Josh and Dave are a couple of twits, let them know as well.
But do not pick on therese, he/she is a fragile flower that can get in her licks but must be protected.
But do not pick on therese, he/she is a fragile flower that can get in her licks but must be protected.
Supreme Leader, or just a lousy President?
Since I am, according to the sentiment of certain bloggers, the stupidest person on the Internet, maybe some enlightened soul can explain something to me. I learned in Ninth Grade Civics (hola Mr. Wadell, if you are still breathing)there is a defined separation of powers under the Constitution. In a nutshell, the Legislative Branch makes the law, the Executive branch carries out the law, and the Judicial Branch interprets the law. I also believe certain Schoolhouse Rock episodes back me up on this.
This being the case, how can the President mandate CAFE standards for the automobile industry (by what authority the Federal Government can mandate such standards is another relative question)? Are we moving into the age of the Dictator here in the US of A?
On a separate note, if you want to attack me, perhaps you should be man enough to come here and express you outrage, anger, disgust whatever. Sniping at someone behind one's back is the sign of a coward. Yes I am calling you out for the cowards you are, you pathetic bicycle seat sniffers.
This being the case, how can the President mandate CAFE standards for the automobile industry (by what authority the Federal Government can mandate such standards is another relative question)? Are we moving into the age of the Dictator here in the US of A?
On a separate note, if you want to attack me, perhaps you should be man enough to come here and express you outrage, anger, disgust whatever. Sniping at someone behind one's back is the sign of a coward. Yes I am calling you out for the cowards you are, you pathetic bicycle seat sniffers.
May 19, 2009
Save me Tippi Hedren
I was standing on the deck yesterday evening grilling up some chicken breasts. Suddenly I saw a shadow swoop down at my head. As I instinctively ducked a second bird struck me in the chest. I danced and brushed the critter away. It hit the deck and immediately flew up at me again, this time attaching its claws into me shirt on my right side. I frantically tried to brush it off. Finally, I knocked the little bastard down to the deck again. It looked like a baby dove, but I am not sure. I was barefoot so stomping it was out of the question. I moved to kick it, but it finally flew off before I regained my breath and composure.
Holy shit, it was freaky. I went inside to tell my wife and kid, they only half believed me. As I was bringing in the chicken a few minutes latter, my neighbor stopped his mower and called to me. He said he saw that f-ing bird attack me. He laughed and said I was jumping around like I was on fire. He said that was the funniest thing he had seen in a long time.
The damn birds have been sitting on my mirrors and crapping down the side of my car for a few weeks now. Last night they attacked me. Is the ghost of Hitchcock filming in my neighborhood?
May 18, 2009
Holy Crap
Pravda means truth in Russian, I am told. The old venerable Soviet mouthpiece calls 'em as it sees 'em in this article. When the people who lived and suffered under Communism for 75 years tell you you are going down a wrong path, maybe we should listen. I have said it before, history does not repeat, but we can learn the lessons to keep from making the same mistakes. We made one in November and we better tell our Congresspeople to just back the hell up for a minute and think things through.
h/t GOC
Here is another article you should read. I guess I answered my own question a few posts back. Liberals are so angry because they are not happy. If you want to be happy come on over to the right side of the political spectrum.
h/t GOC
Here is another article you should read. I guess I answered my own question a few posts back. Liberals are so angry because they are not happy. If you want to be happy come on over to the right side of the political spectrum.
I have won an award.
I have won an award, sort of. This not-so-humble host has written a post that these esteemed writers deem the dumbest thing they have read in May! Read their critique here.
What post did they hate so much, why the one where I called out Nancy Pelosi as a liar. HERE. Apparently I did not include enough details or fill out the post to their satisfaction. My post must have really stunk, because I got the award for May when the month was not even half over!
So who are these arbiters of taste that cruise the Internet offering their insight? You remember them, the guys who were not sure if my post about creating a dandelion preserve was a gag. I better insert a link here, I do not want them mad at me again. LINK. They have also gone after a random guy's baseball blog. And as far as I can tell, their real aim in life is to act all superior.
In the interest of fairness, we should look at their content to make sure they have no frivolous posts. Is their blog hard-hitting and full of insightful commentary? Here are a few of their worthy subjects in recent weeks:
A story about a man arrested for driving like a woman. Quick to brand everyone who does not agree with them as a homophobe, this sexist article is filled with analysis and journalistic follow-up. I guess I just missed it.
They next make fun of a man who wrote about the issue of the word Gay as a euphemism for homosexuality, as it was the guy's surname. HERE Maybe it is just me but these guys seem a little obsessed with homosexuality.
Next they go after Cary Prejean the Miss California who had the audacity to exercise free speech! HERE Weird, but the gays are in this article too! Anyway why are people who disagree with liberals closed-minded, but liberals who do not see the conservative viewpoint are not? Here is the closing paragraph from these open-minded fellows:
They go on to call her a cunt. And you know, if you believe in Heaven or Hell you must be an uneducated mouth breather. Their tolerance astounds me. I can hardly wait until these guys get to decide what is hate speech.
Really, reading their tripe is wearing me down. These guys are hate everything. Bibles, Republicans, Ron Artest, fat people, Jews, people who comment on baseball blogs, Hoosiers, the Alabama Legislature, the person who had a face implant, Sarah Palin, Clarence Thomas, WHAM Channel 13, The religious right, A-Rod,Governor Charlie Crist (whom they insist is gay -- again the obsession), Florida, Republicans (gay Republicans again)... basically they hate everyone.
You know these guys. In high school everyone hated them. They never got invited to the parties and had no friends. They pretended to be intellectuals, but they did not really have the brains to carry it off. They sat by themselves and made fun of everyone, used sarcasm as a crutch to hide their insecurities and little wieners, never realizing they were the joke in the end. The teachers thought they were suck-ups. These losers thought they were cool because they wore Che T-shirts and berets. They wrote hard-hitting articles about the lack of nutrition in the cafeteria for the school newspaper and edited the yearbook. They could only take pictures of the atheletes and matheletes because they were incapable of competing at either. They thought they were radical and different, but they were conforming to a loser's code decades old.
Or maybe they were the circus freaks with the black lipstick and pointy hair hanging out at the mall.
Relax dudes. It is opinion. Agree or don't. Read or don't. Being so angry all the time is going to give you an ulcer.
I fart in your general direction.
What post did they hate so much, why the one where I called out Nancy Pelosi as a liar. HERE. Apparently I did not include enough details or fill out the post to their satisfaction. My post must have really stunk, because I got the award for May when the month was not even half over!
So who are these arbiters of taste that cruise the Internet offering their insight? You remember them, the guys who were not sure if my post about creating a dandelion preserve was a gag. I better insert a link here, I do not want them mad at me again. LINK. They have also gone after a random guy's baseball blog. And as far as I can tell, their real aim in life is to act all superior.
In the interest of fairness, we should look at their content to make sure they have no frivolous posts. Is their blog hard-hitting and full of insightful commentary? Here are a few of their worthy subjects in recent weeks:
A story about a man arrested for driving like a woman. Quick to brand everyone who does not agree with them as a homophobe, this sexist article is filled with analysis and journalistic follow-up. I guess I just missed it.
They next make fun of a man who wrote about the issue of the word Gay as a euphemism for homosexuality, as it was the guy's surname. HERE Maybe it is just me but these guys seem a little obsessed with homosexuality.
Next they go after Cary Prejean the Miss California who had the audacity to exercise free speech! HERE Weird, but the gays are in this article too! Anyway why are people who disagree with liberals closed-minded, but liberals who do not see the conservative viewpoint are not? Here is the closing paragraph from these open-minded fellows:
Punishing hate speech should absolutely happen in America (FU PC). We’re exercising our constitutional right to free speech by calling you names that you deserve to be called. We’re sure your grandfather would be proud of us. Oh, and nice grammar, too. Of course, this woman believes in Satan, so, like, talkin’ good isn’t exactly a priority.
They go on to call her a cunt. And you know, if you believe in Heaven or Hell you must be an uneducated mouth breather. Their tolerance astounds me. I can hardly wait until these guys get to decide what is hate speech.
Really, reading their tripe is wearing me down. These guys are hate everything. Bibles, Republicans, Ron Artest, fat people, Jews, people who comment on baseball blogs, Hoosiers, the Alabama Legislature, the person who had a face implant, Sarah Palin, Clarence Thomas, WHAM Channel 13, The religious right, A-Rod,Governor Charlie Crist (whom they insist is gay -- again the obsession), Florida, Republicans (gay Republicans again)... basically they hate everyone.
You know these guys. In high school everyone hated them. They never got invited to the parties and had no friends. They pretended to be intellectuals, but they did not really have the brains to carry it off. They sat by themselves and made fun of everyone, used sarcasm as a crutch to hide their insecurities and little wieners, never realizing they were the joke in the end. The teachers thought they were suck-ups. These losers thought they were cool because they wore Che T-shirts and berets. They wrote hard-hitting articles about the lack of nutrition in the cafeteria for the school newspaper and edited the yearbook. They could only take pictures of the atheletes and matheletes because they were incapable of competing at either. They thought they were radical and different, but they were conforming to a loser's code decades old.
Or maybe they were the circus freaks with the black lipstick and pointy hair hanging out at the mall.
Relax dudes. It is opinion. Agree or don't. Read or don't. Being so angry all the time is going to give you an ulcer.
I fart in your general direction.
May 17, 2009
Why are liberals so angry all of the time?
In recent weeks many on the left, including the President have attacked Rush Limbaugh as an entertainer whose views are bad for the country. He was roundly criticised for saying he hopes Obama fails at implementing his policies. I am still not sure what is wrong with that sentiment. I do too.
But I ask you, you of theliberal socialist progressive Democrat Obamaite Limbaugh and Hannity hater persuasion, whose words better inspire the Average American, those of Rush and Sean, or this:
h/t Braden's Corner
But I ask you, you of the
“Our country is founded on a sham: our forefathers were slave-owning rich white guys who wanted it their way. So when I see the American flag, I go, ‘Oh my God, you’re insulting me.’ That you can have a gay parade on Christopher Street in New York, with naked men and women on a float cheering, ‘We’re here, we’re queer!’ — that’s what makes my heart swell. Not the flag, but a gay naked man or woman burning the flag. I get choked up with pride.” - Janeane Garofalo
h/t Braden's Corner
May 16, 2009
Weekend funny
Why I fired my Secretary.
Last week was my birthday
and I didn't feel very well
waking up on that morning.
I went downstairs for breakfast
hoping my wife would be pleasant and say,
"Happy Birthday!",
and possibly have a small present for me.
As it turned out,
she barely said good morning,
let alone
" Happy Birthday."
I thought...
Well,
that's marriage for you,
but the kids..
They will remember.
My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast
and didn't say a word.
So when I left for the office,
I felt pretty low
and somewhat despondent.
As I walked into my office,
my secretary Jane said,
"Good Morning Boss,
and by the way
Happy Birthday ! "
It felt a little better
that at least someone had remembered.
I worked until one o'clock ,
when Jane knocked on my door
and said, "You know,
It's such a beautiful day outside,
and it is your Birthday,
what do you say we go out to lunch,
just you and me."
I said, "Thanks, Jane,
that's the greatest thing
I've heard all day.
Let's go !"
We went to lunch.!
But we didn't go
where we normally would go.
She chose instead at a quiet bistro
with a private table.
We had two martinis each
and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.
On the way back to the office,
Jane said, "You know,
It's such a beautiful day...
We don't need to go straight back to the office,
Do We ?"
I responded,
"I guess not.
What do you have in mind ?"
She said,
"Let's drop by my apartment,
it's just around the corner."
After arriving at her apartment,
Jane turned to me and said,
" Boss, if you don't mind,
I'm going to step into the bedroom
for just a moment.
I'll be right back."
"Ok." I nervously replied.
She went into the bedroom and,
after a couple of minutes,
she came out
carrying a huge birthday cake ...
Followed
by my wife,
my kids,
and dozens of my friends
and co-workers,
all singing "Happy Birthday".
And I just sat there...
On the couch.
Naked.
Last week was my birthday
and I didn't feel very well
waking up on that morning.
I went downstairs for breakfast
hoping my wife would be pleasant and say,
"Happy Birthday!",
and possibly have a small present for me.
As it turned out,
she barely said good morning,
let alone
" Happy Birthday."
I thought...
Well,
that's marriage for you,
but the kids..
They will remember.
My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast
and didn't say a word.
So when I left for the office,
I felt pretty low
and somewhat despondent.
As I walked into my office,
my secretary Jane said,
"Good Morning Boss,
and by the way
Happy Birthday ! "
It felt a little better
that at least someone had remembered.
I worked until one o'clock ,
when Jane knocked on my door
and said, "You know,
It's such a beautiful day outside,
and it is your Birthday,
what do you say we go out to lunch,
just you and me."
I said, "Thanks, Jane,
that's the greatest thing
I've heard all day.
Let's go !"
We went to lunch.!
But we didn't go
where we normally would go.
She chose instead at a quiet bistro
with a private table.
We had two martinis each
and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.
On the way back to the office,
Jane said, "You know,
It's such a beautiful day...
We don't need to go straight back to the office,
Do We ?"
I responded,
"I guess not.
What do you have in mind ?"
She said,
"Let's drop by my apartment,
it's just around the corner."
After arriving at her apartment,
Jane turned to me and said,
" Boss, if you don't mind,
I'm going to step into the bedroom
for just a moment.
I'll be right back."
"Ok." I nervously replied.
She went into the bedroom and,
after a couple of minutes,
she came out
carrying a huge birthday cake ...
Followed
by my wife,
my kids,
and dozens of my friends
and co-workers,
all singing "Happy Birthday".
And I just sat there...
On the couch.
Naked.
May 15, 2009
Dear Obama voters
Can some of you loyal Obamites explain to me how all economic indicators continue to go down and unemployment rises? After all, we passed the massive stimulus package, you know, the one designed to help immediately. We had to pass it instantly, without even reading it, as you may remember, since it would help us now.
When will that be, by the way?
hello? chirp...chirp...are you guys out there?
When will that be, by the way?
hello? chirp...chirp...are you guys out there?
Today's Earworm
Harmlessly passing your time in the grassland away;
Only dimly aware of a certain unease in the air.
You'd better watch out!
There may be dogs about
I looked over Jordan, and I've seen
Things are not what they seem.
That's what you get for pretending the danger's not real.
Meek and obedient you follow the leader
Down well trodden corridors into the valley of steel.
What a surprise!
A look of terminal shock in your eyes.
Now things are really what they seem.
No, this is not a bad dream.
The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want
He makes me down to lie
Through pastures green He leadeth me the silent waters by.
With bright knives He releaseth my soul.
He maketh me to hang on hooks in high places.
He converteth me to lamb cutlets,
For lo, He hath great power, and great hunger.
When cometh the day we lowly ones,
Through quiet reflection, and great dedication
Master the art of karate,
Lo, we shall rise up,
And then we'll make the bugger's eyes water.
Bleating and babbling we fell on his neck with a scream.
Wave upon wave of demented avengers
March cheerfully out of obscurity into the dream.
Have you heard the news?
The dogs are dead!
You better stay home
And do as you're told.
Get out of the road if you want to grow old.
I don't know what it means either.
May 14, 2009
Thirsty Thursday
I was in the Carolina's yesterday. The weather was fantastic. I arrived early for my lunch meeting with my customer, so I parked in front of the Target down the street to pass the time and enjoy the sunshine. If you want to find women, visit a Target at 11:00 in the morning. Of course, a lot of the hot ladies were toting along their screwing trophies, but if you just want some eye candy that is the place.
I had a good meeting with the customer. Business sucks, we all hope it gets better, blah, blah. I took the materials manager and quality manager to lunch. We talked how we are always on-time, our great customer service, how we have not had a quality issue in memory. And just that fast we angered the Fates. When I got to the airport and checked my emails there was a message the customer had found a defective part. Arrrrggghhh.There was insufficient wood knocking, I guess.
At least I was not given a lame-assed rental car this time. I had a Chevy Tahoe with four (yes 4) miles on it. It was a great vehicle. If I had the dough I would consider buying one. I could not find a fault.
I arrived home around 11:30 last night and it has rained bucketfuls since -- more than an inch since midnight. That makes nearly 13 inches of rain since the beginning of March. I am glad I am not a farmer. I heard that less than 5% of the corn crop is in the ground. Get ready for some high prices on corn, on meat, on soda, on ethanol this winter.
So suckers, you voted for the Obama because he promised to tax the rich. Welcome to the land of Donald Trump. Us rich SOBs are going to have to pay taxes on our employer-provided health care. You have something another doesn't, so you must pay a penalty. Leading Dems say Government workers and Union members may be exempted. How nice. The rest of us efers better get ready 'cause BOHICA, baby.
Let me add the first person who comes here talking about a health care crisis in this country gets banned for life. I am not kidding. There is not a single person who has ever been denied care in the US. There is a health insurance issue. There is a cost issue, but there is not an issue with health care. The only places there is a issue with getting health care is in places like Great Britain and Canada where they have Government provided health care.
Sheep...
I had a good meeting with the customer. Business sucks, we all hope it gets better, blah, blah. I took the materials manager and quality manager to lunch. We talked how we are always on-time, our great customer service, how we have not had a quality issue in memory. And just that fast we angered the Fates. When I got to the airport and checked my emails there was a message the customer had found a defective part. Arrrrggghhh.There was insufficient wood knocking, I guess.
At least I was not given a lame-assed rental car this time. I had a Chevy Tahoe with four (yes 4) miles on it. It was a great vehicle. If I had the dough I would consider buying one. I could not find a fault.
I arrived home around 11:30 last night and it has rained bucketfuls since -- more than an inch since midnight. That makes nearly 13 inches of rain since the beginning of March. I am glad I am not a farmer. I heard that less than 5% of the corn crop is in the ground. Get ready for some high prices on corn, on meat, on soda, on ethanol this winter.
So suckers, you voted for the Obama because he promised to tax the rich. Welcome to the land of Donald Trump. Us rich SOBs are going to have to pay taxes on our employer-provided health care. You have something another doesn't, so you must pay a penalty. Leading Dems say Government workers and Union members may be exempted. How nice. The rest of us efers better get ready 'cause BOHICA, baby.
Let me add the first person who comes here talking about a health care crisis in this country gets banned for life. I am not kidding. There is not a single person who has ever been denied care in the US. There is a health insurance issue. There is a cost issue, but there is not an issue with health care. The only places there is a issue with getting health care is in places like Great Britain and Canada where they have Government provided health care.
Sheep...
May 12, 2009
Do it for the puppies, do it for the starving kids in Africa, do it for the Hoosierboy
If you each would just click here three or four times a day I could hit my long-awaited goal of 100,000 visits in no time. We are only about 1,600 short. If each of you regular visitors came by an extra two or three times a day...
Shame just isn't in it today, I guess.
Shame just isn't in it today, I guess.
May 11, 2009
Dear Speaker Pelosi
It is clear you are little more than a damn liar.
Why should we believe anything that echoes from your disgusting pie hole in the future?
I, for one, will assume any words you speak from now on are just lies.
Your friend,
Hoosierboy
Why should we believe anything that echoes from your disgusting pie hole in the future?
I, for one, will assume any words you speak from now on are just lies.
Your friend,
Hoosierboy
May 10, 2009
Saturday in the park fieldhouse
My daughter graduated college yesterday. You will get no maudlin post from me today. She graduated Cum Laude with a degree in elementary ed and a minor in Spanish. She wore the cords of four different honor societies. She needs a job now, so if you are a school administrator in Central Indiana -- you could not go wrong hiring a smart, attractive dedicated teacher like my daughter.
The Governor of Indiana was the commencement speaker. His speech did not go over so well with some of those listening. It was the same old "your life is before you speech" one always hears at graduation, only with a twist. He said that the generation before his was the Greatest generation. They lived through depression and won WWII. He described his own generation as the most spoiled generation ever. He talked how the Boomers had created social programs and ran up massive debt that the graduates of today are going to have to pay. Read about it by clicking here. He admonished them to live responsibly. He told them if they can clean up the mess his generation left behind, they will be the next greatest generation. I guess some people do not like to be told of their shortcomings. He did get in a zing or two against the Obama administration, and even gave Hillary a backhanded slap in a passing remark. He is a politician. Why should anyone be surprised when a politician makes a political remark at a graduation. It is done all the time. Does anyone think The Obama's remarks will not be a political speech when he talks at Notre Dame?
I digress. We went out to a nice dinner afterward, my parents and boys and daughter and her fiancee and my wife. We came home. The day had turned blustery. I took a nap and watched a chick flick with my wife. I started another movie, this time John Wayne, just to get my manliness levels revived. I noticed one of my all-time favorite movies was on, Captain Blood, and switched to it instead. I fell asleep in the middle. I stumbled off to bed and my Saturday was over.
Happy Mother's Day
The Governor of Indiana was the commencement speaker. His speech did not go over so well with some of those listening. It was the same old "your life is before you speech" one always hears at graduation, only with a twist. He said that the generation before his was the Greatest generation. They lived through depression and won WWII. He described his own generation as the most spoiled generation ever. He talked how the Boomers had created social programs and ran up massive debt that the graduates of today are going to have to pay. Read about it by clicking here. He admonished them to live responsibly. He told them if they can clean up the mess his generation left behind, they will be the next greatest generation. I guess some people do not like to be told of their shortcomings. He did get in a zing or two against the Obama administration, and even gave Hillary a backhanded slap in a passing remark. He is a politician. Why should anyone be surprised when a politician makes a political remark at a graduation. It is done all the time. Does anyone think The Obama's remarks will not be a political speech when he talks at Notre Dame?
I digress. We went out to a nice dinner afterward, my parents and boys and daughter and her fiancee and my wife. We came home. The day had turned blustery. I took a nap and watched a chick flick with my wife. I started another movie, this time John Wayne, just to get my manliness levels revived. I noticed one of my all-time favorite movies was on, Captain Blood, and switched to it instead. I fell asleep in the middle. I stumbled off to bed and my Saturday was over.
Happy Mother's Day
May 9, 2009
Weekend Funny
An oldie, but a goodie...
A Tourist walked into a Chinese curio shop in San Francisco
> . While looking
> around at the exotic merchandise, he noticed a very
> lifelike, life-sized,
> bronze statue of a rat. It had no price tag, but was so
> incredibly striking
> the tourist decided he must have it. He took it to the old
> shop owner and
> asked, "How much for the bronze rat?"
>
> Ahhh, you have chosen wisely! It is $12 for the rat, $100
> for the story,"
> said the wise old Chinaman.
>
> The tourist quickly pulled out twelve dollars.
> "I'll just take the rat, you
> can keep the story".
>
> As he walked down the street carrying his bronze rat, the
> tourist noticed
> that a few real rats had crawled out of the alleys and
> sewers and had begun
> following him down the street. This was a bit disconcerting
> so he began
> walking faster.
>
> A couple blocks later he looked behind him and saw to his
> horror the herd of
> rats behind him had grown to hundreds, and they began
> squealing.
>
> Sweating now, the tourist began to trot toward the Bay.
> Again, after a
> couple blocks, he looked around only to discover that the
> rats now numbered
> in the MILLIONS, and were squealing and coming toward him
> faster and faster.
>
> Terrified, he ran to the edge of the Bay and threw the
> bronze rat as far as
> he could into the Bay.
>
> Amazingly, the millions of rats all jumped into the Bay
> after the bronze
> rat, and were all drowned.
>
> The man walked back to the curio shop in Chinatown .
>
> "Ahhh," said the owner, "You have come back
> for story?"
>
> "No sir," said the man, "I came back to see
> if you have a bronze Democrat."
A Tourist walked into a Chinese curio shop in San Francisco
> . While looking
> around at the exotic merchandise, he noticed a very
> lifelike, life-sized,
> bronze statue of a rat. It had no price tag, but was so
> incredibly striking
> the tourist decided he must have it. He took it to the old
> shop owner and
> asked, "How much for the bronze rat?"
>
> Ahhh, you have chosen wisely! It is $12 for the rat, $100
> for the story,"
> said the wise old Chinaman.
>
> The tourist quickly pulled out twelve dollars.
> "I'll just take the rat, you
> can keep the story".
>
> As he walked down the street carrying his bronze rat, the
> tourist noticed
> that a few real rats had crawled out of the alleys and
> sewers and had begun
> following him down the street. This was a bit disconcerting
> so he began
> walking faster.
>
> A couple blocks later he looked behind him and saw to his
> horror the herd of
> rats behind him had grown to hundreds, and they began
> squealing.
>
> Sweating now, the tourist began to trot toward the Bay.
> Again, after a
> couple blocks, he looked around only to discover that the
> rats now numbered
> in the MILLIONS, and were squealing and coming toward him
> faster and faster.
>
> Terrified, he ran to the edge of the Bay and threw the
> bronze rat as far as
> he could into the Bay.
>
> Amazingly, the millions of rats all jumped into the Bay
> after the bronze
> rat, and were all drowned.
>
> The man walked back to the curio shop in Chinatown .
>
> "Ahhh," said the owner, "You have come back
> for story?"
>
> "No sir," said the man, "I came back to see
> if you have a bronze Democrat."
May 8, 2009
Friday Five
This week's Friday Five is to name five people who you found attractive in your youth. Who really turned you on? Who's face floated before your half-closed eyes as you frantically spanked the monkey? Who did you dream of as you rubbed one out? Who did you make-believe was helping you buff the banana?
Ladies, who's poster did you kiss before you turned out the lights? Who was your fantasy clit commander? Who's name did you write dreamily on your yellow-lined tablet? Was it Mrs. John Travolta? Did you fantasize Donnie Osmond or Bobby Sherman or Dean Martin was coming to take you away to a world of wealth and mystery? Was it Paul or George or Ringo who you imagined paddling the pink canoe? Not John, I hope, that frickin' commie.
Did you lust after Annette's hooters, Did Frankie make you melt? Tell us. We must know your secrets! To get the conversation rolling, here are five chicks who were partners in crime when I was holding my sausage hostage.
In no particular order:
Raquel Welch. God Bless America!
You know Esther Willams is making my list!
Elizabeth Montgomery could work her magic on me anytime
Kate Jackson, why didn't they make this into a poster?
Catharine Ross, Classic Beauty
You can never have too many pictures of Raquel...
Who is on your list?
Ladies, who's poster did you kiss before you turned out the lights? Who was your fantasy clit commander? Who's name did you write dreamily on your yellow-lined tablet? Was it Mrs. John Travolta? Did you fantasize Donnie Osmond or Bobby Sherman or Dean Martin was coming to take you away to a world of wealth and mystery? Was it Paul or George or Ringo who you imagined paddling the pink canoe? Not John, I hope, that frickin' commie.
Did you lust after Annette's hooters, Did Frankie make you melt? Tell us. We must know your secrets! To get the conversation rolling, here are five chicks who were partners in crime when I was holding my sausage hostage.
In no particular order:
Raquel Welch. God Bless America!
You know Esther Willams is making my list!
Elizabeth Montgomery could work her magic on me anytime
Kate Jackson, why didn't they make this into a poster?
Catharine Ross, Classic Beauty
You can never have too many pictures of Raquel...
Who is on your list?
May 7, 2009
Hello God, It is me, the dinosaur.
Dear readers, why didn't you tell me? I am the last of my kind. Were you even aware that the Conservative Political philosophy was dead? Here I stand, the figurative Captain of the Titanic watching my beliefs gurgle away into the ocean of time. There is further discussion here.
I did not feel lonely.
I did not feel lonely.
Breakfast of Champions
I had breakfast with my buddy Orville this morning. The Doctor also joined us. That would be Orville Redenbacher and Dr. Pepper.
I was hungry. There was no bacon in the house. I just could not bring myself to eat that months-old Pop Tart. So I threw a bag of popcorn in the microwave. You have to admit coffee and popcorn do not go together like mustard and ham or bacon and tomatoes. Maybe a better combo would be bacon and ham. Coffee and popcorn lack the cachet, I am sure you agree.
Hey, does popcorn count as a serving of veggies?
I was hungry. There was no bacon in the house. I just could not bring myself to eat that months-old Pop Tart. So I threw a bag of popcorn in the microwave. You have to admit coffee and popcorn do not go together like mustard and ham or bacon and tomatoes. Maybe a better combo would be bacon and ham. Coffee and popcorn lack the cachet, I am sure you agree.
Hey, does popcorn count as a serving of veggies?
May 6, 2009
Today's Word is Uighur
Imagine we capture some avowed Muslims in the Tora Bora region of Pakistan, training at at an Al Qaeda/Taliban facility. They are Chinese Muslim Separatists. They hate the Chinese. They follow Shari'a Law. Thus, they are not real fond of us Westerners either. We take them to Gitmo. Now, we have to do something with them. Welcome to the Uighurs, your new neighbors.
"Why should I care?", you ask. Because the Obama administration is about to turn them loose right here in the good old USA. I suspect we are going to give them green cards, welfare funds, maybe even jobs and houses. Are they terrorists? I don't know. Personally if they lived with terrorists, trained with terrorists, and believe the same things as terrorists I have a suspicion. You know, walks like a duck... etc. President Obama's own commission ruled these Uighurs were too dangerous to turn loose. The Obama knows better.
Anyway these guys will be loose and free in Northern Virginia as early as next week according to sources. You see, no other country will take them. Except China, where they are wanted. For being terrorists. We won't give them to China, they may torture and kill them. Believe me, the Chinese are not going to fool around with college pranks when the do torture -- with them we are talking the real thing. The socialists and communists have been doing that sort of thing for more than a century and they are damn good at it. Of course avowed socialists like Nancy Pelosi are quick to criticise their own country, but seem to have a blind eye when it comes to the human rights record of socialist and communist regimes. Isn't that interesting?
I am told every day the Obama is in charge get over it, the people are pleased. How pleased will they be when a bunch of terrorists shoot up a mall or school? The same ones the President let go free in our country?
I guess Obama was right when he said we do not have to fear terrorists coming across the Mexican Border -- he is letting them in the front door.
"Why should I care?", you ask. Because the Obama administration is about to turn them loose right here in the good old USA. I suspect we are going to give them green cards, welfare funds, maybe even jobs and houses. Are they terrorists? I don't know. Personally if they lived with terrorists, trained with terrorists, and believe the same things as terrorists I have a suspicion. You know, walks like a duck... etc. President Obama's own commission ruled these Uighurs were too dangerous to turn loose. The Obama knows better.
Anyway these guys will be loose and free in Northern Virginia as early as next week according to sources. You see, no other country will take them. Except China, where they are wanted. For being terrorists. We won't give them to China, they may torture and kill them. Believe me, the Chinese are not going to fool around with college pranks when the do torture -- with them we are talking the real thing. The socialists and communists have been doing that sort of thing for more than a century and they are damn good at it. Of course avowed socialists like Nancy Pelosi are quick to criticise their own country, but seem to have a blind eye when it comes to the human rights record of socialist and communist regimes. Isn't that interesting?
I am told every day the Obama is in charge get over it, the people are pleased. How pleased will they be when a bunch of terrorists shoot up a mall or school? The same ones the President let go free in our country?
I guess Obama was right when he said we do not have to fear terrorists coming across the Mexican Border -- he is letting them in the front door.
What is in store under the leadership of Democrats?
Forbes recently published their list of the worst cities for job creation. Let us take a look:
Big Cities (political party in control)
5 Oakland Democrat/ Socialist Mayor
4 Anaheim Republican Mayor
3 Cleveland Democrat Mayor
2 Providence Democrat Mayor
1 Detroit Democrat Mayor
Commonality -- Nearly all run by Democrats
Medium Cities (political party in control)
5 Ann Arbor Democrat mayor
4 Dayton, OH Democrat Controlled City Council
3 Sarasota, FL Democrat Controlled City Council
2 Hickory/Lenoir, NC Republican Mayors
1 Toledo Democrat Mayor
Commonality -- Nearly all run by Democrats
Small Cities
6 Elkhart, IN Democrat Mayor
5 Dalton, GA unknown
4 Battle Creek, MI Democrat Commissioners
3 Flint, MI Democrat
2 Saginaw, MI Democrat
1 Jackson, MI Democrat
Commonality -- Nearly all run by Democrats
Still not convinced the policies of the Democrat Party are bad for the country, and bad for you individually? What if we looked at the cities ranked as the most miserable places to live?
10 Providence Democrat Mayor
9 Charlotte Repub Mayor, Democrat Council
8 Modesto Repub Mayor
7 Los Angeles Democrat Mayor
6 Chicago Democrat mayor
5 Philadelphia Democrats
4 New York Rino
3 Flint, MI Democrats
2 Stockton Democrats
1 Detroit Democrats
As you can see the Democrats policies make for miserable places to live. Can we also add these cities: St. Louis, Gary, Washington DC, and Cleveland? All places most of us would avoid. How about Houston and New Orleans? All are run by Democrats.
Guess what? The same failed policies of high taxes and expanding social programs that have ruined these cities are planned for you. Thanks Pelosi and Obama and Reid. I can hardly wait for you to turn my country into a third world shithole.
Big Cities (political party in control)
5 Oakland Democrat/ Socialist Mayor
4 Anaheim Republican Mayor
3 Cleveland Democrat Mayor
2 Providence Democrat Mayor
1 Detroit Democrat Mayor
Commonality -- Nearly all run by Democrats
Medium Cities (political party in control)
5 Ann Arbor Democrat mayor
4 Dayton, OH Democrat Controlled City Council
3 Sarasota, FL Democrat Controlled City Council
2 Hickory/Lenoir, NC Republican Mayors
1 Toledo Democrat Mayor
Commonality -- Nearly all run by Democrats
Small Cities
6 Elkhart, IN Democrat Mayor
5 Dalton, GA unknown
4 Battle Creek, MI Democrat Commissioners
3 Flint, MI Democrat
2 Saginaw, MI Democrat
1 Jackson, MI Democrat
Commonality -- Nearly all run by Democrats
Still not convinced the policies of the Democrat Party are bad for the country, and bad for you individually? What if we looked at the cities ranked as the most miserable places to live?
10 Providence Democrat Mayor
9 Charlotte Repub Mayor, Democrat Council
8 Modesto Repub Mayor
7 Los Angeles Democrat Mayor
6 Chicago Democrat mayor
5 Philadelphia Democrats
4 New York Rino
3 Flint, MI Democrats
2 Stockton Democrats
1 Detroit Democrats
As you can see the Democrats policies make for miserable places to live. Can we also add these cities: St. Louis, Gary, Washington DC, and Cleveland? All places most of us would avoid. How about Houston and New Orleans? All are run by Democrats.
Guess what? The same failed policies of high taxes and expanding social programs that have ruined these cities are planned for you. Thanks Pelosi and Obama and Reid. I can hardly wait for you to turn my country into a third world shithole.
May 5, 2009
1976
1976. The summer of the Bicentennial. The summer I watched the fireworks with a girl, almost like a real date. That summer my Grandfather died. The same year I started high school. The fall the poster came out.
You know what one, the blond Farrah Fawcett in the red swimsuit. The one where you can see her nipples! Hooray for nipples! All of my friends had it on their walls. We watched Charlies Angels
and drooled over the girls. My friends dreamed of Farah Fawcett, I admired Kate Jackson. That red halter did it for me. Smart, brunette, sexy, if only she had freckles...This week we will revive the Friday Five, due to popular request (I did have a comment wanting to know what happened, really). So think on it boys and girls. Who turned you on in your youth? What hot chick or guy was the stuff of your fantasies? Was it Farrah, was it Kate? Maybe it was Raquel or maybe Betty Grable? It may have been Bobby Sherman or Donnie Osmond. 'Fess up. Share with blog world. Who was the crush/lust of your youth? Choose five! Participate, play along.
You have your assignment, now go revive those happy memories and fantasies and be ready to report. Not yet, wait for Friday.
Oh, about the poster. You would not have found it tacked to my walls. I had other interests. See the poll to the right.
May 4, 2009
'Splain this Lucy
I keep reading that the Repugs are doomed forever because America wants to be "governed from the middle". Too bad the Obamamedia won't do their jobs and report the truth about what this President brings to the table. Most of you pinheads that voted for this left-winger would cut off your fingers that voted for Obama from pure shame. Take a gander at this:
In 2001, [Obama] gave a public radio interview as a state senator and law professor in which he lamented that the Supreme Court "never ventured into the issues of redistribution of wealth, and more basic issues of political and economic justice in this society" and that the Court had not facilitated the ability for America to "break free from the essential constraints that were placed by the founding fathers in the Constitution." On the Constitution itself, he remarked that, because it never forced the redistribution of wealth to African Americans, it was a document with a "fundamental flaw" that "reflected the enormous blind spot in this culture that carries on until this day."
--emphasis mine-- source
So I ask all of you again that told me I was a paranoid, seeing Commies and Socialists under the bed, what say you now?
h/t Doug Ross
Times, They Are a Changin'
I originally wrote this post back on April 14. It was actually up for about three minutes. Since I am paranoid, I took it down so she would not somehow stumble across the secret.
I got a call from my daughter's boyfriend yesterday around lunchtime. He wanted to know if I could meet him for a drink in the evening. Uh-oh.
They have been dating for about four years. She is due to graduate from college
He asked my blessing and permission to marry my daughter. It wasn't necessary, but it was a classy move. I answered truthfully, he has my blessing, but does not need my permission. I also told him that I could not have picked a better man for my daughter. I meant it too.
I guess I better be looking for a second job, the wife says weddings are expensive. I told her I thought an elopement was romantic. The look I got froze the water in my glass. I think my role in this thing has been fulfilled.
May 2, 2009
Wants Needs for today
I have a hankerin' for a corndog. I want it deep fried, with a puddle of yellow mustard for dipping.
May 1, 2009
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