Today we are going to once again offer a little contest. Years ago there was a game show where the contestants tried to name a song based on the opening notes. Somehow, I did very well playing along at home. I have always been able to recognize songs and music. Today we are going to attempt a variation on that theme. I will offer the opening lines of five different songs and you will try to guess the song title and artist.
I know what you are mumbling. Hey, Joe, this sounds a lot like the Friday Five, a feature of this blog I loathe. Well it isn't the Friday Five. It is Tuesday not Friday. And you will enjoy this contest of knowledge. It will be fun, stirring up old memories. You should prepare yourself to exclaim "I remember that song". You are going to thank me and beg me to do this contest every week. Nay, every day.
So here we go. Below are the opening lines of five songs from the classic rock era. None should be too obscure. No B-sides, no tricks. Identify the title and artist in the comments. Don't forget to tell me how much you love this fabulous idea.
We will start off easy:
1. I was born in a cross-fire hurricane
And I howled at my ma in the driving rain
2.I woke up in a Soho doorway
A policeman knew my name
He said "You can go sleep at home tonight
If you can get up and walk away"
3. I remember standing on the corner at midnight
Trying to get my courage up
There was this long lovely dancer in a little club downtown
I loved to watch her do her stuff
4. Whiskey bottles and brand new cars
Oak tree, you're in my way
There's too much coke and too much smoke
Look what's going on inside you
5. Well, I just got into town about an hour ago
Took a look around, see which way the wind blow
I know, it is fun, right?
Put your answers in the comments.
February 8, 2011
February 7, 2011
There is a broken down vehicle blocking the right lane
It is Monday and that means back to work for many of us, and back to school for the millions of kids across the nation affected by last week's snow an dice storms. The Big Game is over. I have nothing of interest to impart. Most of you will not be surprised.
I have been reading like a fiend since Christmas. I can see the Kindle so much better than old musty pages, especially paperbacks. I have finished 12 books since Christmas. That is almost two a week. Some of you probably read more, my wife has not read two books in thirty years. To each his own.
I hit the work day early today. My burst of enthusiasm pretty much petered out by 9:00 am. But I started with good intentions! That is what counts in today's modern, progressive society. Who cares if the social programs that bankrupt the nation do not work? Who cares that Obamacare will increase insurance costs and make you lose your plan and cause doctors to retire by the tens of thousands? We have good intentions!
I have been reading like a fiend since Christmas. I can see the Kindle so much better than old musty pages, especially paperbacks. I have finished 12 books since Christmas. That is almost two a week. Some of you probably read more, my wife has not read two books in thirty years. To each his own.
I hit the work day early today. My burst of enthusiasm pretty much petered out by 9:00 am. But I started with good intentions! That is what counts in today's modern, progressive society. Who cares if the social programs that bankrupt the nation do not work? Who cares that Obamacare will increase insurance costs and make you lose your plan and cause doctors to retire by the tens of thousands? We have good intentions!
February 6, 2011
Big Game Sunday
Today is the culmination of the NFL season. I really have no interest in either team, but I guess the game could be good. On paper the teams look evenly matched. The words good game and Superbowl rarely can be placed in the same sentence, however.
I should not have typed the trademarked name of the Big Game. The NFL gets a little wonky when the words "bowl" and "Super" are used together. They are not as crazy and obsessed as the governing body for college sports, who really get their panties bunched in their crack when you use "madness" and the third month of the year together. I suppose they might miss out on few pennies of royalties.
Anyway, I will watch the game. I expect to see a low scoring affair, but that is rarely the case in the Big Game. Even if the Steelers do pull off a victory, can we stop the Big Ben Is The Greatest Ever And Let's Put Him In Canton NOW talk? The team from Iron City wins on defense, and a strong running game. If you need evidence the team is not about the QB, the Steelers were 3-1 with a journeyman third string quarterback while Ben was doing penance for allegedly pawing unwilling women. Look it up, the stats are out there. Rothlisberger is a middle-of-the-pack quarterback at best. On most other NFL teams he would be considered a serviceable starting signal caller. He had the good fortune to be drafted by a winner. Ben did not make the Steelers winners. There is a difference.
Enjoy the game, the commercials, the endless analysis. Or not. This is America and you can watch the Lifetime Channel, or How I Met Your Mother reruns. Put in a movie or read a book. Do what as you will. I don't care, as long as you have a great Sunday.
I should not have typed the trademarked name of the Big Game. The NFL gets a little wonky when the words "bowl" and "Super" are used together. They are not as crazy and obsessed as the governing body for college sports, who really get their panties bunched in their crack when you use "madness" and the third month of the year together. I suppose they might miss out on few pennies of royalties.
Anyway, I will watch the game. I expect to see a low scoring affair, but that is rarely the case in the Big Game. Even if the Steelers do pull off a victory, can we stop the Big Ben Is The Greatest Ever And Let's Put Him In Canton NOW talk? The team from Iron City wins on defense, and a strong running game. If you need evidence the team is not about the QB, the Steelers were 3-1 with a journeyman third string quarterback while Ben was doing penance for allegedly pawing unwilling women. Look it up, the stats are out there. Rothlisberger is a middle-of-the-pack quarterback at best. On most other NFL teams he would be considered a serviceable starting signal caller. He had the good fortune to be drafted by a winner. Ben did not make the Steelers winners. There is a difference.
Enjoy the game, the commercials, the endless analysis. Or not. This is America and you can watch the Lifetime Channel, or How I Met Your Mother reruns. Put in a movie or read a book. Do what as you will. I don't care, as long as you have a great Sunday.
February 5, 2011
What my Brother would post if he had a blog
A young Arab asks his father, "What is that weird hat you are wearing?"
The father said, "Why, it's a 'chechia' because in the desert it protects our heads from the sun."
"And what is this type of clothing that you are wearing?" asked the young man.
"It's a 'djbellah' because in the desert it is very hot and it protects your body." said the father.
The son asked, "And what about these ugly shoes on your feet?
His father replied, "These are 'babouches', which keep us from burning our feet when in the desert."
"Tell me, Abba?" added the boy.
"Yes, my son?"
"Why are we living in Dearborn , Michigan and you're still wearing all this shit?"
From Otter. Who does not have his own blog. And why would he? Blogging is dead. Twitter and Facebook, that is where the action is. Except for me. I think I am among the last inhabitants of Earth not on Facebook. Except for that one guy in Outer Mongolia. And that scary dude in the shack in Montana. And that farm couple in NW Nebraska, they don't even have the internet. And me. None of us are on Facebook. Don't look, I am not there. I am not twittering fluttering myspacing. This piece o' crap takes up too much time. I do not need any more hobbies. Just get off my back about it already.
The father said, "Why, it's a 'chechia' because in the desert it protects our heads from the sun."
"And what is this type of clothing that you are wearing?" asked the young man.
"It's a 'djbellah' because in the desert it is very hot and it protects your body." said the father.
The son asked, "And what about these ugly shoes on your feet?
His father replied, "These are 'babouches', which keep us from burning our feet when in the desert."
"Tell me, Abba?" added the boy.
"Yes, my son?"
"Why are we living in Dearborn , Michigan and you're still wearing all this shit?"
From Otter. Who does not have his own blog. And why would he? Blogging is dead. Twitter and Facebook, that is where the action is. Except for me. I think I am among the last inhabitants of Earth not on Facebook. Except for that one guy in Outer Mongolia. And that scary dude in the shack in Montana. And that farm couple in NW Nebraska, they don't even have the internet. And me. None of us are on Facebook. Don't look, I am not there. I am not twittering fluttering myspacing. This piece o' crap takes up too much time. I do not need any more hobbies. Just get off my back about it already.
February 4, 2011
Working
Going at it hard on a Friday morning. Hobbies have to wait.
Check back every ten minutes or so to see if I have published anything. I need the hits.
Check back every ten minutes or so to see if I have published anything. I need the hits.
February 3, 2011
Episode 23, our hero braves the elements in search of potatoes
I have not been able to get out and walk since Sunday, and I feel like crap. Maybe I can brave the streets today, but a street that looks clear in a car can be treacherous when walking. My neighborhood is still pretty bad and there are no sidewalks. Most of the lazy homeowners would fail to clean them off anyway. I am amazed at the number of people who do not even bother to clean their driveway.
The wife was gripped deep in the throes of cabin fever, so we ventured out to the store late yesterday. The shelves remained bare of bread, but there was plenty of other stuff. Some $200 later, I had the bag of potatoes we needed.
I made salmon patties and fried potatoes for supper. It was darn good, but the house still stinks this morning in spite of burning candles. The wife baked some chocolate chip cookies last night, but even the awesome goodness of baking cookies cannot overcome the power of fried salmon.
Be safe.
The wife was gripped deep in the throes of cabin fever, so we ventured out to the store late yesterday. The shelves remained bare of bread, but there was plenty of other stuff. Some $200 later, I had the bag of potatoes we needed.
I made salmon patties and fried potatoes for supper. It was darn good, but the house still stinks this morning in spite of burning candles. The wife baked some chocolate chip cookies last night, but even the awesome goodness of baking cookies cannot overcome the power of fried salmon.
Be safe.
February 2, 2011
Egypt is Burning
I have been doing a bit of research the past month or so on the French Revolution. In the past I spent far more time on Napoleon and his wars, and I really did not care much to study the Jacobins and the Reign of Terror. I took a class in war and revolution back in college and we read Bacon and Paine and discussed the role of revolution in a general way, but this is the first time in 30 years I really have studied the period.
I have a half formulated post spinning in my brain relating the French Revolution and its extremes to today's world, but nothing coherent has yet found its way to virtual paper. I am not about to begin that essay now, so hold off on letting those eyes glaze over.
It is interesting to compare some of the rhetoric spouted by The Obama and his minions to that of the various French Revolutionaries. Did you know that at the height of the Reign of Terror it was fashionable to be dirty, smelly and sporting rags for clothes? You see, the basis for the Revolution was equality. Appearing in nice clothes, or washed, meant you were trying to be better than the average street dweller. Since the Revolution's roots were the hunger protests of the poor, the homeless and the residents of the slums, no one dared affect the look of the "Aristos". Somehow, the idea of equal opportunity espoused in the American Revolution was perverted to "equal outcome" by the French. Does that position sound familiar?
Some experts are amazed at the rapidity of Revolution in Tunisia and Egypt. History shows the people can overthrow a government in very little time. We have many examples beyond the French. Look at the rapid fall of the Communist Bloc and the Berlin Wall. Unless a regime is prepared to brutally suppress the revolt, the mass of the people can fast overwhelm any government. A hesitant military will allow the people to overcome the police and law enforcement. It is interesting to note the police in most revolutions side with the regime in power. The linchpin is always the military. Will soldiers fire upon their fellow citizens?
In 1956 Hungary, it was not the Hungarian Army that put down the revolt. It was the Soviets. Foreign armies of occupation are far more willing to shoot would-be revolutionaries and suppress rebellion. It has been reported China brought in troops from the distant provinces to put down the Tienanmen Square revolt, afraid troops from Beijing would hesitate.
In Egypt, the police have tried to suppress the protests. The key is the role the military will take. Remember, it is the military that really controls Egypt. In any case, a change in regime can not bode well for our relations with Egypt. Israel will find a far more Islamist state next door than previously. These events can not be positive for oil prices, for regional stability, for the War on Terror.
We should not be surprised when similar events occur across the Middle East in the coming months. Oppression, poverty and a vast difference in the standard of living between the ruling class and the people will in the end precipitate a revolution. The rise of the people will be fast and furious. And little good will come of it. Rage is never a good formula for governance.
I have a half formulated post spinning in my brain relating the French Revolution and its extremes to today's world, but nothing coherent has yet found its way to virtual paper. I am not about to begin that essay now, so hold off on letting those eyes glaze over.
It is interesting to compare some of the rhetoric spouted by The Obama and his minions to that of the various French Revolutionaries. Did you know that at the height of the Reign of Terror it was fashionable to be dirty, smelly and sporting rags for clothes? You see, the basis for the Revolution was equality. Appearing in nice clothes, or washed, meant you were trying to be better than the average street dweller. Since the Revolution's roots were the hunger protests of the poor, the homeless and the residents of the slums, no one dared affect the look of the "Aristos". Somehow, the idea of equal opportunity espoused in the American Revolution was perverted to "equal outcome" by the French. Does that position sound familiar?
Some experts are amazed at the rapidity of Revolution in Tunisia and Egypt. History shows the people can overthrow a government in very little time. We have many examples beyond the French. Look at the rapid fall of the Communist Bloc and the Berlin Wall. Unless a regime is prepared to brutally suppress the revolt, the mass of the people can fast overwhelm any government. A hesitant military will allow the people to overcome the police and law enforcement. It is interesting to note the police in most revolutions side with the regime in power. The linchpin is always the military. Will soldiers fire upon their fellow citizens?
In 1956 Hungary, it was not the Hungarian Army that put down the revolt. It was the Soviets. Foreign armies of occupation are far more willing to shoot would-be revolutionaries and suppress rebellion. It has been reported China brought in troops from the distant provinces to put down the Tienanmen Square revolt, afraid troops from Beijing would hesitate.
In Egypt, the police have tried to suppress the protests. The key is the role the military will take. Remember, it is the military that really controls Egypt. In any case, a change in regime can not bode well for our relations with Egypt. Israel will find a far more Islamist state next door than previously. These events can not be positive for oil prices, for regional stability, for the War on Terror.
We should not be surprised when similar events occur across the Middle East in the coming months. Oppression, poverty and a vast difference in the standard of living between the ruling class and the people will in the end precipitate a revolution. The rise of the people will be fast and furious. And little good will come of it. Rage is never a good formula for governance.
Windy Wednesday
All said, things could have been worse. We have about an inch of ice on everything. The drive is as smooth and white as a skating rink. A layer of frozen rain covered the sleet. It is smooth and slick. Perhaps the neighbors hit the whole addition with a Zamboni machine in the night? The howling winds would have covered the noise. We did not lose power (yet), but some people on the next street did. Sucks to be them.
The local fishwrap was not at the end of the drive. Likely it was not delivered due to the weather. We got off easy -- The Windy City is getting hammered.
The local fishwrap was not at the end of the drive. Likely it was not delivered due to the weather. We got off easy -- The Windy City is getting hammered.
February 1, 2011
So...
Did you hear the one about the old middle age guy who went out to get the newspaper? He slid down the driveway like an Austrian ski jumper going for Olympic Gold. He managed to grab the newspaper as he slid by and finally came to a stop in the street. He was still on his feet, the slide culminating in a textbook ice skate stop (though only wearing some smooth-soled Asics).
Then the dumb old jerk could not get back up the ice covered incline of that same drive.
He finally walked over and crunched his way back to the front door by walking in the grass.
Smarter than your average bear, eh BooBoo?
Then the dumb old jerk could not get back up the ice covered incline of that same drive.
He finally walked over and crunched his way back to the front door by walking in the grass.
Smarter than your average bear, eh BooBoo?
January 31, 2011
I reveal a tiny aspect of my life, and you say "So what?"
What a waste. This is one of the only sugar-free foods I have tried that is worth eating.
Luckily, I had more in the 'fridge.
At least there will be plenty of ice to make my drinks
It appears a big-ass storm is heading our way. Many of you are in the cross hairs targeted in the bulls eye might get hit may be subjected to the storm too. Sorry for the repeated rephrasing, I do not want to be Palinized (blamed) if any acts of violence occur in the next three years in the storm area.
As of today, the StormTeam/ScareTeam says we are going to be walloped with beaucoup ice. I would much rather have a foot of snow. Right now my biggest concern is if we lose power. I have always hated the house is totally electric (except the fireplace). We can keep warm, but without power we have no way to cook except on the fireplace. I suppose I should go refill the grill this afternoon. I think the Coleman stove has some fuel. I just have to find it! In the end we will survive. We have plenty of food -- just no way to cook it. I did not spend all of those years as a Boy Scout for nothing. If an Eagle Scout cannot find a way to prepare food, I should pack up that gaudy red/white/blue ribbon and send it back.
I am supposed to head off to the Windy City Tuesday for a customer visit. It just may not happen. The Chi-town area is forecasted for a couple of feet of snow. As an older and wiser man, driving in such conditions is just not worth it -- especially for a sales call that does not have to be made. It is just a routine visit, no critical issues are at stake.
Be safe and remember spring is just a couple of months away.
As of today, the StormTeam/ScareTeam says we are going to be walloped with beaucoup ice. I would much rather have a foot of snow. Right now my biggest concern is if we lose power. I have always hated the house is totally electric (except the fireplace). We can keep warm, but without power we have no way to cook except on the fireplace. I suppose I should go refill the grill this afternoon. I think the Coleman stove has some fuel. I just have to find it! In the end we will survive. We have plenty of food -- just no way to cook it. I did not spend all of those years as a Boy Scout for nothing. If an Eagle Scout cannot find a way to prepare food, I should pack up that gaudy red/white/blue ribbon and send it back.
I am supposed to head off to the Windy City Tuesday for a customer visit. It just may not happen. The Chi-town area is forecasted for a couple of feet of snow. As an older and wiser man, driving in such conditions is just not worth it -- especially for a sales call that does not have to be made. It is just a routine visit, no critical issues are at stake.
Be safe and remember spring is just a couple of months away.
January 30, 2011
I am diagnosed
Shopping at WalMart may induces a certain, albeit temporary, form of Tourette's Syndrome. WalMart Tourettsia symptoms are primarily cursing under one's breath, mumbled F-bombs and repetition of the phrase "I hate this fucking store". Sometimes the cursing is out loud and includes the phrase "Move you fat bitch" and "Open some fucking check out lines, gott damnit".
One weird aspect of the disease is that a Saturday or Sunday afternoon onset can make the sufferer actually hate every living being on the planet. Sometimes the symptoms last through the drive home.
The disease is temporary in nature, but lasting damage to the psyche may be evident with long-term exposure. A similar, but as yet undocumented disease, can affect males at the mall, especially on weekends and holidays.
One weird aspect of the disease is that a Saturday or Sunday afternoon onset can make the sufferer actually hate every living being on the planet. Sometimes the symptoms last through the drive home.
The disease is temporary in nature, but lasting damage to the psyche may be evident with long-term exposure. A similar, but as yet undocumented disease, can affect males at the mall, especially on weekends and holidays.
January 29, 2011
I went for a walk on a winter's day
Hower yew? It is a fine Saturday winter morning. It might actually get above freezing today according to the weather girl. But just barely. I have no worries, more winter is on the way. This winter is like those I remember as a kid; snow on the ground all of the time, refreshed every few days. It has been cold, constantly in the teens and twenties, but we have not had the Arctic subzero stuff too much so far. I hope I did not speak too soon! There is a lot of winter yet before spring arrives in its green and flowery glory.
It looks like I will not attend the World's Most Boring Trade Show this year. While I enjoy a few days of Florida weather each February, working the show is such a drain I am not sure the sunshine trade off is worth it. That is a comment on the tedium of this show. I would rather stay in the snow and cold than work that event.
As you can tell by the preceding paragraphs I really have nothing worthwhile to offer today. There are some who might say that is a normal for this pathetic journal. Some days I miss my pathetic misguided trolls. I am sure Josh and Dave have somehow found a secret link blaming Fox News and Sarah Palin for the riots in Egypt.
Perhaps I should leave it at that and wish you a happy Saturday.
It looks like I will not attend the World's Most Boring Trade Show this year. While I enjoy a few days of Florida weather each February, working the show is such a drain I am not sure the sunshine trade off is worth it. That is a comment on the tedium of this show. I would rather stay in the snow and cold than work that event.
As you can tell by the preceding paragraphs I really have nothing worthwhile to offer today. There are some who might say that is a normal for this pathetic journal. Some days I miss my pathetic misguided trolls. I am sure Josh and Dave have somehow found a secret link blaming Fox News and Sarah Palin for the riots in Egypt.
Perhaps I should leave it at that and wish you a happy Saturday.
January 28, 2011
Creating Jobs
It has been a crazy week and I have had little time to devote to this time-consuming hobby. But ever since The Obama's SOTU speech (and before) I have been screaming silently the following: Government cannot create jobs.
Repeat after me -- The Government cannot create jobs. Not Reagan. Not Roosevelt. Not Lincoln. Not Grant. Not Obama. Congress cannot create a job, nor can your City, County, State or even Township official. Private sector jobs cannot be created by the Government. Period, End of story.
The only jobs a Government at any level can create are Government jobs. Those jobs do not create wealth. they take hard-earned money from you and me and small businesses and corporations and use that money to pay Government workers. Government workers do not make any saleable goods or services, they take money from the economy.
The Government cannot create jobs through grants like those proposed by the President. The Government cannot create jobs -- be they green or otherwise. The money used to encourage windmills or electric cars comes from taxes payed by hard working Americans and Businesses. Ford Motors is being taxed. That tax money is being used to reduce the price of GM's electric car! Just think, Ford could have more money to create their own electric vehicle, or to hire more workers if their profits were not confiscated and given to GM.
The same is true of windmills or solar panels or any other supposed "green job" the Government claims to create. Now a local, State or even a Federal Governmental entity can create an atmosphere where business are likely to hire. Low taxes is a great way to lure a business to your community. Right to Work is a big incentive. A community know for union activity and frequent strikes does not encourage a business owner to invest.
The Government can certainly cause jobs to be lost. Take a look at California today, and New York City throughout the 1980s and 1990s. High taxes and excessive regulations force business to relocate elsewhere.
So the next time your Mayor, City Council, County Administrator, Governor, or even President claims he is going to create jobs, keep in mind that person is either an ignorant asshole or a lying MOFO. There is no third option.
Repeat after me -- The Government cannot create jobs. Not Reagan. Not Roosevelt. Not Lincoln. Not Grant. Not Obama. Congress cannot create a job, nor can your City, County, State or even Township official. Private sector jobs cannot be created by the Government. Period, End of story.
The only jobs a Government at any level can create are Government jobs. Those jobs do not create wealth. they take hard-earned money from you and me and small businesses and corporations and use that money to pay Government workers. Government workers do not make any saleable goods or services, they take money from the economy.
The Government cannot create jobs through grants like those proposed by the President. The Government cannot create jobs -- be they green or otherwise. The money used to encourage windmills or electric cars comes from taxes payed by hard working Americans and Businesses. Ford Motors is being taxed. That tax money is being used to reduce the price of GM's electric car! Just think, Ford could have more money to create their own electric vehicle, or to hire more workers if their profits were not confiscated and given to GM.
The same is true of windmills or solar panels or any other supposed "green job" the Government claims to create. Now a local, State or even a Federal Governmental entity can create an atmosphere where business are likely to hire. Low taxes is a great way to lure a business to your community. Right to Work is a big incentive. A community know for union activity and frequent strikes does not encourage a business owner to invest.
The Government can certainly cause jobs to be lost. Take a look at California today, and New York City throughout the 1980s and 1990s. High taxes and excessive regulations force business to relocate elsewhere.
So the next time your Mayor, City Council, County Administrator, Governor, or even President claims he is going to create jobs, keep in mind that person is either an ignorant asshole or a lying MOFO. There is no third option.
16 hour days make me cranky
Why do some people find it necessary to carry on their conversations at the airport loud enough for everyone in a two gate area to hear their business? Is it a "look at me" gene? Is it just ignorance? This assholery is not confined to men, nor to salesmen, although that is often the case, but most often to middle age women having long personal conversations about shit that could be better discussed in person. Just because you are bored does not mean the rest of us should be subjected to detailed descriptions of your latest pedicure.
That James Fenimore Cooper is one wordy SOB. the Last of the Mohicans is still a compelling story. if you saw the excellent movie with Daniel Day Lewis movie version madea decade or so holy shit almost 20 years ago, it is only loosely based on the classic novel. It has taken me a bit to understand the book is far different. I keep finding myself screaming silently "No one talks like that -- even in the 18th Century" and "Get on with the story already".
That James Fenimore Cooper is one wordy SOB. the Last of the Mohicans is still a compelling story. if you saw the excellent movie with Daniel Day Lewis movie version made
January 27, 2011
Things I learned today
A study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle. For example: if she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features. However, if she is menstruating or menopausal, she tends to be more attracted to a man with duct tape over his mouth and a spear lodged in his chest while he is on fire.
January 26, 2011
My take on the SOTU speech
When The Obama talks at me, it just sounds like the adults in a Charlie Brown cartoon.
Whah wahaa, whah whah wah wha
Whah wahaa, whah whah wah wha
January 25, 2011
Are you forced to take a stupid pill upon election to public office?
I guess it is appropriate to rant on the intrusiveness of Government a few hours before The Obama outlines even more Big Government initiatives in his State of the Union address. The point most on the left and the media do not get is that the Tea Party is in favor of a smaller government at all levels. The very idea that hundreds and thousands of new laws, regulations, and statutes are passed by your Local, State, and Federal Governments every year should be a warning flag. That much new regulation, control and governmental dictates can not be necessary in a free republic. Add to that total the mandates and regulations imposed by faceless bureaucrats in the alphabet regulatory agencies at all levels.
This morning I watched the news, appalled at the latest nutcase mandates proposed in my State Government. Shelli Vandenburgh*, an Indiana State Representative has proposed a 10 cent per grocery bag "fee" (re: a tax) for using disposable bags when grocery shopping. source
This new fee would add a couple of dollars to your average WalMart shopping trip. But that is not the point. The costs will be far greater. Do these idiots even understand how a business is run? Each store, from the multi-billion conglomerate to the locally owned grocery will have to manage this new fee. Someone will have to monitor the collection and make sure the funds and records are submitted to the State. Someone at the State -- paid for from my hard-earned wages and your hard-earned wages -- will have to monitor, collect, and disburse those new revenues. This all costs money. Business transactions are not free. The cost of this new regulation will be a burden far beyond the pennies per bag. Higher grocery bills and taxes can be the only result.
But Joe, we need to do it for the environment, you claim. Maybe we do. Of course we went away from paper bags to the plastic bags that hold a fraction of the groceries at the urging of the environmentalists. I agree we should use reusable bags for our groceries. But it is not the role of the Government to MAKE me do the right thing. Those reusable bags are not cheap. How many of them would be needed to get a week's worth of groceries for a family of five? When my kids were little we did major grocery shopping once a month. That is how I was paid. Could you imagine the number of canvass bags that I would have needed?
Then there is the issue of cleanliness of the reusable bags. Recent studies have shown they are often full of harmful bacteria. Fruits vegetables and meat leave residue. You should wash and bleach every bag after every use. source
That means we are using more water and dumping more chemicals into the waste water system and using more electricity. Oh, and the vast majority of power is generated by coal and natural gas in this country. Compare that to the .005 seconds it takes to manufacture the 20 or so bags I consume at the grocery.
We Americans need to get a better understanding of the role of Government. It is not to regulate our every action, but to put into place the barest bones of governmental structure.
*Ms Vandenburgh is a Representative from Lake County Indiana -- Chicago South (AKA Da Region), with similar politics. Read her bio here. She has never had a job where she was not paid by the taxpayers. I will save you some time. She is in favor of more taxation, more Government intrusion, less freedom. Yes, she is a Democrat.
This morning I watched the news, appalled at the latest nutcase mandates proposed in my State Government. Shelli Vandenburgh*, an Indiana State Representative has proposed a 10 cent per grocery bag "fee" (re: a tax) for using disposable bags when grocery shopping. source
This new fee would add a couple of dollars to your average WalMart shopping trip. But that is not the point. The costs will be far greater. Do these idiots even understand how a business is run? Each store, from the multi-billion conglomerate to the locally owned grocery will have to manage this new fee. Someone will have to monitor the collection and make sure the funds and records are submitted to the State. Someone at the State -- paid for from my hard-earned wages and your hard-earned wages -- will have to monitor, collect, and disburse those new revenues. This all costs money. Business transactions are not free. The cost of this new regulation will be a burden far beyond the pennies per bag. Higher grocery bills and taxes can be the only result.
But Joe, we need to do it for the environment, you claim. Maybe we do. Of course we went away from paper bags to the plastic bags that hold a fraction of the groceries at the urging of the environmentalists. I agree we should use reusable bags for our groceries. But it is not the role of the Government to MAKE me do the right thing. Those reusable bags are not cheap. How many of them would be needed to get a week's worth of groceries for a family of five? When my kids were little we did major grocery shopping once a month. That is how I was paid. Could you imagine the number of canvass bags that I would have needed?
Then there is the issue of cleanliness of the reusable bags. Recent studies have shown they are often full of harmful bacteria. Fruits vegetables and meat leave residue. You should wash and bleach every bag after every use. source
That means we are using more water and dumping more chemicals into the waste water system and using more electricity. Oh, and the vast majority of power is generated by coal and natural gas in this country. Compare that to the .005 seconds it takes to manufacture the 20 or so bags I consume at the grocery.
We Americans need to get a better understanding of the role of Government. It is not to regulate our every action, but to put into place the barest bones of governmental structure.
*Ms Vandenburgh is a Representative from Lake County Indiana -- Chicago South (AKA Da Region), with similar politics. Read her bio here. She has never had a job where she was not paid by the taxpayers. I will save you some time. She is in favor of more taxation, more Government intrusion, less freedom. Yes, she is a Democrat.
January 24, 2011
You Animal
Humans are an amazing species. Of all God's creatures in the animal kingdom we possess a better ability to improvise adapt and overcome than any other beast.
Consider. The human body can withstand and thrive at temperature ranges from -40 in the Arctic to 120 degrees in the equatorial regions. We can live in the swamps, the deserts, the mountains, the plains, the frozen tundra and the forests.
Humans can eat a variety of foods. We can survive on meat or veggies. We can digest a variety of foodstuffs.
Humans are not the fastest of hunters. A cheetah can run us down in a flash. Many in the animal kingdom are bigger, stronger and faster. We cannot fly, cannot stay under water for long periods. yet we can swim. The human body has evolved into a distance running machine. A human can walk a horse to ground. It can run most prey to a quivering exhausted bundle of meat.
Most importantly we are smarter than any other animal. We are tops in the food chain because we learned to use tools and weapons. An ancient mastodon was far larger, but pointed spears, slings and arrows brought down the beast for early human dinners. We alone have learned to create fire.
Koko the ape supposedly understands some 2,00 words. She cannot speak, only respond. Your average three year old human surpasses that feat, plus can communicate. Humans can read, write and do complex mathematics. A raven uses tools, an otter uses tools, but none have developed true weapons. The songbird can sing, the whale can make noise, the lion roar. The human can whistle, sing and communicate.
Some claim our development is simply an accident of mutating genes over eons. Some believe the Hidden hand of God created us. My God is so powerful he created us and gave us the ability to adapt, to survive. Tyrannosaurus Rex was bigger, stronger, faster, more ferocious by far, but those itty-bity arms precluded typing on a keyboard. You don't see old dinosaur Rex on Facebook do you?
Man is capable of unspeakable cruelty. We condemn the fox killing indiscriminately in the hen house, put down dogs and bears and tigers when they develop the habit of killing just to kill, but that trait is strong in the human animal. We have slaughtered each other in numbers that are truly astonishing.
We did not develop wings to fly, yet found a way to conquer the skies and space. We cannot swim for long distance, but developed ships and submarines to conquer the oceans of the Earth. We lack the claws of a mole yet can mine miles beneath the surface of the planet.
Celebrate! there is no species like you. You are special. You are so far at the top of the food chain the other beast of the planet combined cannot reach your accomplishments. Use those opposable thumbs to lift up a toast to that first homo sapiens. Smarter than the average bear indeed.
So the next time some jackass proposes a butterfly is more important than a power plant, a snail trumps your ability to build a house, a fish is more important than growing food you know better. I will recognize "animal rights" when that beast of the field, sky or stream can write a document as beautiful and simple as the Declaration of Independence. I will pay attention when the monkey can speak with the elegance of a Patrick Henry, when the lowly cardinal can sing like Aretha. Until that point in time, animals are just meat, plants are just food.
I am man, and I rule the Earthly kingdom.
Consider. The human body can withstand and thrive at temperature ranges from -40 in the Arctic to 120 degrees in the equatorial regions. We can live in the swamps, the deserts, the mountains, the plains, the frozen tundra and the forests.
Humans can eat a variety of foods. We can survive on meat or veggies. We can digest a variety of foodstuffs.
Humans are not the fastest of hunters. A cheetah can run us down in a flash. Many in the animal kingdom are bigger, stronger and faster. We cannot fly, cannot stay under water for long periods. yet we can swim. The human body has evolved into a distance running machine. A human can walk a horse to ground. It can run most prey to a quivering exhausted bundle of meat.
Most importantly we are smarter than any other animal. We are tops in the food chain because we learned to use tools and weapons. An ancient mastodon was far larger, but pointed spears, slings and arrows brought down the beast for early human dinners. We alone have learned to create fire.
Koko the ape supposedly understands some 2,00 words. She cannot speak, only respond. Your average three year old human surpasses that feat, plus can communicate. Humans can read, write and do complex mathematics. A raven uses tools, an otter uses tools, but none have developed true weapons. The songbird can sing, the whale can make noise, the lion roar. The human can whistle, sing and communicate.
Some claim our development is simply an accident of mutating genes over eons. Some believe the Hidden hand of God created us. My God is so powerful he created us and gave us the ability to adapt, to survive. Tyrannosaurus Rex was bigger, stronger, faster, more ferocious by far, but those itty-bity arms precluded typing on a keyboard. You don't see old dinosaur Rex on Facebook do you?
Man is capable of unspeakable cruelty. We condemn the fox killing indiscriminately in the hen house, put down dogs and bears and tigers when they develop the habit of killing just to kill, but that trait is strong in the human animal. We have slaughtered each other in numbers that are truly astonishing.
We did not develop wings to fly, yet found a way to conquer the skies and space. We cannot swim for long distance, but developed ships and submarines to conquer the oceans of the Earth. We lack the claws of a mole yet can mine miles beneath the surface of the planet.
Celebrate! there is no species like you. You are special. You are so far at the top of the food chain the other beast of the planet combined cannot reach your accomplishments. Use those opposable thumbs to lift up a toast to that first homo sapiens. Smarter than the average bear indeed.
So the next time some jackass proposes a butterfly is more important than a power plant, a snail trumps your ability to build a house, a fish is more important than growing food you know better. I will recognize "animal rights" when that beast of the field, sky or stream can write a document as beautiful and simple as the Declaration of Independence. I will pay attention when the monkey can speak with the elegance of a Patrick Henry, when the lowly cardinal can sing like Aretha. Until that point in time, animals are just meat, plants are just food.
I am man, and I rule the Earthly kingdom.
On a long and lonesome highway East of Omaha
Good morning sports fans. It looks like the Packers and Steelers in the Big Game. Do you care? I am no fan of the Steelers, but I really can never root for the Packers. Mostly I don't care, but I will watch.
Here is some trivia for you. Counting this year's contest, the AFC has been represented by only three teams in nine of the past ten years -- The Steelers(3), Patriots(4) or Colts(2). Only the Raiders in XXXVIII broke the trend.
Here is some trivia for you. Counting this year's contest, the AFC has been represented by only three teams in nine of the past ten years -- The Steelers(3), Patriots(4) or Colts(2). Only the Raiders in XXXVIII broke the trend.
January 23, 2011
I was born in a crossfire hurricane
So here we are -- all reading blogs on a fine Sunday morning/afternoon/evening as the case may be. If you are reading on a different day, I appreciate it, but where the heck were you on Sunday?
We went to the mall in Indy yesterday.The place was packed. I mean December kind if busy. That is good for the economy. Or it could be everyone has cabin fever and there was no place else to go. The wife spent $15 on clothes for work. She spent $19 on a new pair of boots. That is it, a good day at the mall for me, other than it took her about 4 hours to make those purchases. I just sat in the middle after I looked in the Sporting goods store and the book store. People watching, it never gets old. I have noticed there are far fewer mohawk types around these days.
I have plenty of stuff to get started on this morning so I am going to have to cut this ramble off short. What? I need to ...and maybe I should ...OK, I want to do a little reading and maybe I will watch some TV.
We went to the mall in Indy yesterday.The place was packed. I mean December kind if busy. That is good for the economy. Or it could be everyone has cabin fever and there was no place else to go. The wife spent $15 on clothes for work. She spent $19 on a new pair of boots. That is it, a good day at the mall for me, other than it took her about 4 hours to make those purchases. I just sat in the middle after I looked in the Sporting goods store and the book store. People watching, it never gets old. I have noticed there are far fewer mohawk types around these days.
I have plenty of stuff to get started on this morning so I am going to have to cut this ramble off short. What? I need to ...and maybe I should ...OK, I want to do a little reading and maybe I will watch some TV.
January 22, 2011
A bit of this, a bit of that
Here is a new blog you should check out: click here.
Keef Odormann is gone from MSNBC. I am sure Bush and Cheney are somehow responsible. Who the hell am I going to laugh at now?
Cappy, your comment links do not work. Surely you have studied that old navel enough by now? You storin' corn in that thing, or what?
I am kind of getting tired of the cold. Shovelling the drive is not an adventure, it is a chore. It could be a lot worse I could live in Upstate NY or in Wisconsin or Freddieland. But I have just about had it with static electricity. My shirts stick to me, my coat snaps and crackles. Sparks fly in the bed -- and I am not talking about romance. Kissing my wife sends an electric shock to my toes. What is weird, it just seems to be me. The boy has no issues, the wife sleeps in flannel for goodness sake. I in my cotton shorts and T-Shirt send electric current through the air like some mutant superhero.
I wish I could say I have big plans for the weekend. I don't. I may get around to putting the boxed up Christmas stuff away. It is now sitting in the garage and needs to be moved to the shed. I could have done it when it was a little warmer. Or the one weekend there was not snow on the ground. Why look back and cry over what might have been?
I hope you have a good Saturday anyway. And NO gettin' laid. You are all cut off until I get some. Do you hear me?
Stop that. Really.
I mean it. I swear you people do not pay any more attention to my dictates than my kids.
Sigh.
Keef Odormann is gone from MSNBC. I am sure Bush and Cheney are somehow responsible. Who the hell am I going to laugh at now?
Cappy, your comment links do not work. Surely you have studied that old navel enough by now? You storin' corn in that thing, or what?
I am kind of getting tired of the cold. Shovelling the drive is not an adventure, it is a chore. It could be a lot worse I could live in Upstate NY or in Wisconsin or Freddieland. But I have just about had it with static electricity. My shirts stick to me, my coat snaps and crackles. Sparks fly in the bed -- and I am not talking about romance. Kissing my wife sends an electric shock to my toes. What is weird, it just seems to be me. The boy has no issues, the wife sleeps in flannel for goodness sake. I in my cotton shorts and T-Shirt send electric current through the air like some mutant superhero.
I wish I could say I have big plans for the weekend. I don't. I may get around to putting the boxed up Christmas stuff away. It is now sitting in the garage and needs to be moved to the shed. I could have done it when it was a little warmer. Or the one weekend there was not snow on the ground. Why look back and cry over what might have been?
I hope you have a good Saturday anyway. And NO gettin' laid. You are all cut off until I get some. Do you hear me?
Stop that. Really.
I mean it. I swear you people do not pay any more attention to my dictates than my kids.
Sigh.
January 21, 2011
Friday Five. My cheeks are red edition.
I am back home again to the land of ice and snow. The boy had most of the drive cleaned for me when I got home last night. Nice.
We find ourselves on the edge of another weekend and time to resurrect everyone's favorite feature: The Friday Five.
I loves me some music; classical, bagpipes, Rat Pack, Christmas, Civil War, but mostly classic rock. I listen to my iPod tout le temps.
But, I do have some songs included that I love, but could be a little embarrassing if you knew what tunes was playing in my headphones as I tap my foot in the airport or listen with a smile while walking the neighborhood. So here they are, five songs on my iPod that you can not believe I love (in no particular order):
1. ABBA SOS
2. Coby Callait Bubly
3. Marty Robbins El Paso
4. Bee Gees Stayin Alive
5. The Browns The Three Bells
6. Paper Lace The Night Chicago Died
Yes, I listed six 'cause I never could follow directions. Plus it's my blog.
What songs do you secretly love? Come on, you are among friends, no one will make fun of you (much). Play along.
We find ourselves on the edge of another weekend and time to resurrect everyone's favorite feature: The Friday Five.
I loves me some music; classical, bagpipes, Rat Pack, Christmas, Civil War, but mostly classic rock. I listen to my iPod tout le temps.
But, I do have some songs included that I love, but could be a little embarrassing if you knew what tunes was playing in my headphones as I tap my foot in the airport or listen with a smile while walking the neighborhood. So here they are, five songs on my iPod that you can not believe I love (in no particular order):
1. ABBA SOS
2. Coby Callait Bubly
3. Marty Robbins El Paso
4. Bee Gees Stayin Alive
5. The Browns The Three Bells
6. Paper Lace The Night Chicago Died
Yes, I listed six 'cause I never could follow directions. Plus it's my blog.
What songs do you secretly love? Come on, you are among friends, no one will make fun of you (much). Play along.
January 20, 2011
Here today, gone today
Hate the band. Hate the city. Going home today.
I guess Erica is right, it could have been Jersey. We all wish to visit Camden -- right?
January 19, 2011
Where is waldo?
In the best of all world s you would have had a post this morning.
You did not.
You really don't get one this evening either.
But I am in the armpit of America! Hooray for me.
Anyone want to guess?
You did not.
You really don't get one this evening either.
But I am in the armpit of America! Hooray for me.
Anyone want to guess?
January 18, 2011
Hey Joe, What's for dinner?
In the next 60 minutes, in no particular order, I have to shave, shower, go to the bank, put supper in the crockpot and jump in the car and head North to visit a customer. OK, I lied, that is the order of business. I should add I must put up something for you to waste a minute or two reading. There, are you happy? I mentioned YOU in my blog post today. I did not forget my obligations to offer a meager attempt at entertainment.
So, we are having chicken tonight for supper. Put some chicken breasts in the crockpot. Dump in a tablespoon or so of chicken bullion, or not if you do not have any on hand. Spread two cans of broccoli-cheddar soup on top. Dump in 1/3 can of milk. You can use water if you have to. You can also substitute 1/2 C dry white wine. Cook. Serve over noodles. I mean that. Cook the noodles -- preferably the slick cheap ones from the pasta section of your local grocery. Toss 'em in some butter. Put the noodles on a big platter. Put the cooked chicken on top. Spoon the cheesy sauce over everything. Sprinkle with some parsley for garnish if you want. I usually don't. Serve some rolls and a side veggie. I recommend brussel sprouts. I won't be serving them, but you do as you like. Hey, ease up. I like brussel sprouts, no one else around here does though.
Off to the shower! No peeking in the windows. You don't want to be sick at your stomach before you have chicken in the crockpot do you? Go on, read someone else. You will go no more from me today.
So, we are having chicken tonight for supper. Put some chicken breasts in the crockpot. Dump in a tablespoon or so of chicken bullion, or not if you do not have any on hand. Spread two cans of broccoli-cheddar soup on top. Dump in 1/3 can of milk. You can use water if you have to. You can also substitute 1/2 C dry white wine. Cook. Serve over noodles. I mean that. Cook the noodles -- preferably the slick cheap ones from the pasta section of your local grocery. Toss 'em in some butter. Put the noodles on a big platter. Put the cooked chicken on top. Spoon the cheesy sauce over everything. Sprinkle with some parsley for garnish if you want. I usually don't. Serve some rolls and a side veggie. I recommend brussel sprouts. I won't be serving them, but you do as you like. Hey, ease up. I like brussel sprouts, no one else around here does though.
Off to the shower! No peeking in the windows. You don't want to be sick at your stomach before you have chicken in the crockpot do you? Go on, read someone else. You will go no more from me today.
January 17, 2011
I know, now let's blame the Second Amendment (but we know the ex-Governor of Alaska is really to blame)
If the makers of Glock firearms are responsible in any way for the shootings in Tucson, then the people at IBM better answer for thsi typo.
A light wintery mix
It is the same old dilemma. Do I post to keep posting or wait until I have something of substance to offer. If I choose the latter it may be a long while before you hear from me again. If I choose the former you will get more drivel regarding what I ate, what I read yesterday or what movie captured my short attention. In other words, do you want a peeping tom view through a frosted, dirty window, or do you want erudite and insightful commentary?
I could just refer you to my dusty archives. There is plenty of both there -- interesting, insightful and pure tripe. Want to know why gas prices are so high? See the archives for February of 2008. The premise is the same today. I could preach my particular brand of politics to the choir, but you are already ahead of me in the hymnal.
So here we find ourselves, you and I, on a Monday morning. Should I post a bit o'crap for you? Should I spend time on research for a history piece that will bore you to tears? Perhaps I could just put up a video of some classic rock. Perhaps a list of the best/worst/funniest/saddest/movies/songs/books. Maybe I will offer some political insight into the latest goings on in Washington.
Put up your money. Make your Final Jeopardy wagers.
You have your answer.
Update:
Ignore the above. read this. List the column as number 537 in the "I wish I had written that" category. I would not change a word.
I could just refer you to my dusty archives. There is plenty of both there -- interesting, insightful and pure tripe. Want to know why gas prices are so high? See the archives for February of 2008. The premise is the same today. I could preach my particular brand of politics to the choir, but you are already ahead of me in the hymnal.
So here we find ourselves, you and I, on a Monday morning. Should I post a bit o'crap for you? Should I spend time on research for a history piece that will bore you to tears? Perhaps I could just put up a video of some classic rock. Perhaps a list of the best/worst/funniest/saddest/movies/songs/books. Maybe I will offer some political insight into the latest goings on in Washington.
Put up your money. Make your Final Jeopardy wagers.
You have your answer.
Update:
Ignore the above. read this. List the column as number 537 in the "I wish I had written that" category. I would not change a word.
January 16, 2011
Sunday in This Town
We visited my mom and dad yesterday afternoon. They are doing great. dad is 73 today. He looks 53.
Afterward we went to visit some good friends. We ate some pizza, drank a couple of beers (I did anyway -- and it was two beers to be exact). We played some Euchre and had some laughs. All in all, a pretty good Saturday. Except for the lack of snuggling etc. I guess I need to turn down the furnace.
Here we are on a Sunday. I am not in the mood for politics. I don't have any jokes for you. I have nothing to discuss except the mundane aspects of my life.
Here is some Sunday music for you. heck, everyone loves the Go Gos, and this one you may not know (except it sounds like every other song they wrote).
I saw the GoGos back in the early 1980's. They put on a good show.
Afterward we went to visit some good friends. We ate some pizza, drank a couple of beers (I did anyway -- and it was two beers to be exact). We played some Euchre and had some laughs. All in all, a pretty good Saturday. Except for the lack of snuggling etc. I guess I need to turn down the furnace.
Here we are on a Sunday. I am not in the mood for politics. I don't have any jokes for you. I have nothing to discuss except the mundane aspects of my life.
Here is some Sunday music for you. heck, everyone loves the Go Gos, and this one you may not know (except it sounds like every other song they wrote).
I saw the GoGos back in the early 1980's. They put on a good show.
January 15, 2011
A long post filled with random boring stuff
Weird things are gong on around here. I thought I had put the post below in the can to be published early Friday morning while I was traveling to the extremes of the Hoosier State. For some reason it did not publish. I finally put it up manually yesterday afternoon. Some of its hard hitting impact was lost, n'est pas?
I have been getting some rather bizarre spam lately. Along with the Chinese stuff, I am getting this kind of brilliant analysis:
I have been getting some rather bizarre spam lately. Along with the Chinese stuff, I am getting this kind of brilliant analysis:
WTF? I was standing around at the drug store this week waiting on the pharmacist to refill my prescription. I was looking at the diabetic supplies and a new blood glucose meter caught my eye. It has an attached USB so you can plug it right into the computer to keep track of your readings, make handy charts and graphs and such. I loves me some user-friendly technology -- I cannot resist. Only it cost like $75. Uh, no. But wait! There was a coupon hanging nearby that offered $35 bucks off. Still too much when I have a meter at home that works perfectly well. That one I got for free. But wait! I looked a little further down the shelf and there was a coupon hanging there that said I could get the handy dandy USB meter for free, gratis, no charge. Hells yeah, I was all over that. So last night I opened the box, charged the unit and read the instructions. yes, as I get to be an old fart I find my life is much easier if I read the instruction manual. It is kind of like the rule of thumb we have all learned doing home repair and construction projects -- measure I put out a drop of the control solution to make sure the unit was working OK. Then, because I am perverse this way, I set up the old unit with a test strip and the new gadget with a test strip and poked my left little finger. I squeezed a big drop pf blood and tested it with both units. It was high. I new that was coming, a late night cheat on the diet always shows up in the measurements. But there was a problem. The new unit was 15 points higher than the old unit. Which one is wrong? Now I am no mathematician or scientist. I have enough of a liberal arts education to know one test point is not a trend nor is it even data (except when pushing global warming/cooling/change). I am going to have to keep my eye on this. I do not need anything to measure my blood sugar any higher, especially in the am. Coincidentally -- and I know you are all bored shitless by this discussion -- I am sure, based on my three month blood tests, the old meter is fairly accurate. I probably will not keep you updated on this situation. I know and you are welcome. Go forth and have a great Saturday. It is cold, snuggle up with your Honey -- maybe you will get laid. |
January 14, 2011
That's all people
I think many of us across the nation can relate to this sentiment this week.
Just ride the storm out people.
January 13, 2011
Theres something happening here
For the third night in the past week I have had detailed vivid dreams about eating donuts: jelly filled, glazed, maple iced. I can taste them, I can smell them. They are fresh and warm and delicious.
I do not need any Freudian analysis to figure the meaning of these dreams.
I want some friggin' donuts.
I do not need any Freudian analysis to figure the meaning of these dreams.
I want some friggin' donuts.
Joke of the week
For his birthday, little Joseph asked for a 10-speed bicycle.. His father said, 'Son, we'd give you one, but the mortgage on this house is $280,000 and your mother just lost her job. There's no way we can afford it.' The next day the father saw little Joseph heading out the front door with a suitcase. So he asked, 'Son, where are you going?' Little Joseph told him; 'I was walking past your room last night and heard you telling mom you were pulling out. Then I heard her tell you to wait because she was coming too. And I'll be damned if I'm staying here by myself with a $280,000 mortgage and no fucking bike!
Sent to me by my brother. Gotta give credit where credit is due.
Sent to me by my brother. Gotta give credit where credit is due.
January 12, 2011
snowbound
I just got off the phone with a friend in Minnesota.
He said that since early this morning the snow has been nearly waist
high and is still falling. The temperature is dropping below zero and
the north wind is increasing. His wife has done nothing but look
through the kitchen window. He says that if it gets much worse, he
may have to let her in.
He said that since early this morning the snow has been nearly waist
high and is still falling. The temperature is dropping below zero and
the north wind is increasing. His wife has done nothing but look
through the kitchen window. He says that if it gets much worse, he
may have to let her in.
Turn out the lights, the party's over
I am not Miss Manners. I am not the final arbiter of taste. I am not the ultimate authority on what is right and proper throughout the world --YET.
I do know this. It is the twelfth day of January. It is time to turn off your Christmas lights. Dim that Christmas tree in the window. I know the weather may preclude climbing on the roof and removing those blinking green and purple icicle lights, but you do not have to turn them on.
Heck, my Mother-in-law (may she rest in Peace) kept Christmas lights hung on her carport year round. When those burned out, she hung new ones over the old. But she only turned them on from December 1 through New Years.
I know I am addressing more than just a few still burring the festive Holiday lights. I know of at least six houses within a few miles of my humble abode.
I say enough. It is time to dim the Holiday spirit.
I do know this. It is the twelfth day of January. It is time to turn off your Christmas lights. Dim that Christmas tree in the window. I know the weather may preclude climbing on the roof and removing those blinking green and purple icicle lights, but you do not have to turn them on.
Heck, my Mother-in-law (may she rest in Peace) kept Christmas lights hung on her carport year round. When those burned out, she hung new ones over the old. But she only turned them on from December 1 through New Years.
I know I am addressing more than just a few still burring the festive Holiday lights. I know of at least six houses within a few miles of my humble abode.
I say enough. It is time to dim the Holiday spirit.
January 11, 2011
Why, Oh Why?
If you are a reader of the NY Times, why? If you are a subscriber, why haven't you cancelled your subscription?
I am all for free speech, but the works of Paul Krugman are so offensive, no one should support the rantings he offers. The publishers should hang their head in shame.
The "Old Gray Lady" is just a hate-filled crazy old bitch screaming at imaginary kids to get off her lawn, a Gloria Swanson in Sunset Boulevard. Too bad for us, we have seen her close-up. All that remains is the shell of what the paper used to be, and lots of sad partisanship.
Update:
Perhaps I should be less obtuse. If you post or write that Sarah Palin, or Rush or the Tea Party or any other person or political view is responsible for the tragedy in Tucson, you have mental problems. You lack the ability to reason coherently, or are so consumed with hate you have lost touch with reality.
Should we blame Democrats and liberals for the attempted assassination of Ronald Reagan? Are liberals and socialists and communists responsible for the murder of JFK? Should we blame all environmentalists for the attacks at the Discovery Channel last year? Is the Daily Kos responsible for Tucson, a co-conspirator with the former Governor of Alaska, since that website "targeted" the Congresswoman from Arizona before last years primaries? Of course not.
Crazy people do crazy shit. Sometimes there is no one to blame.
I am all for free speech, but the works of Paul Krugman are so offensive, no one should support the rantings he offers. The publishers should hang their head in shame.
The "Old Gray Lady" is just a hate-filled crazy old bitch screaming at imaginary kids to get off her lawn, a Gloria Swanson in Sunset Boulevard. Too bad for us, we have seen her close-up. All that remains is the shell of what the paper used to be, and lots of sad partisanship.
Update:
Perhaps I should be less obtuse. If you post or write that Sarah Palin, or Rush or the Tea Party or any other person or political view is responsible for the tragedy in Tucson, you have mental problems. You lack the ability to reason coherently, or are so consumed with hate you have lost touch with reality.
Should we blame Democrats and liberals for the attempted assassination of Ronald Reagan? Are liberals and socialists and communists responsible for the murder of JFK? Should we blame all environmentalists for the attacks at the Discovery Channel last year? Is the Daily Kos responsible for Tucson, a co-conspirator with the former Governor of Alaska, since that website "targeted" the Congresswoman from Arizona before last years primaries? Of course not.
Crazy people do crazy shit. Sometimes there is no one to blame.
January 10, 2011
Oh no, I am almost out of eggs, and bread and milk...I must get to the store
For once I gave in.
The Snow Team/Scare Team has prophesied a major snowstorm for Tuesday/Wednesday. Historically the meteorology Cassandras have a less than stellar record when predicting such storms. I usually take their low estimate and cut it in half. I am proud to say I am often more accurate. It seems as if the predictions are less reliable with more modern models and computer simulations than they were in the days when the weatherman stuck magnetic suns and snowflakes to a map of the state and region. But then I am old and my memory is often what I want it to be instead of the way things were.
Anyway, I have changed some appointments in semi-distant cities for Tuesday afternoon and Wednesday morning. The prospect of bucking drifting snow on half-plowed roads for an appointment I do not need to attend has no interest for me. I have rescheduled for more favorable conditions later in the week.
If the prognosticators have over-estimated the storm, as is often the case, I will look a chicken-little fool. Perhaps I will appear a prudent traveller, taking heed of potentially dangerous situations. In any case, I will be ensconced in my faux-leather office chair watching either a little or a lot of snow through my West-facing window on the morrow.
Is there good news for you, dear reader, in this rambling post? It depends on your point of view. If I am not in the car battling the elements I will have the opportunity to post drivel like this. I suspect there are at least a few of you who fervently wish I would not watch the weather in the future.
The Snow Team/Scare Team has prophesied a major snowstorm for Tuesday/Wednesday. Historically the meteorology Cassandras have a less than stellar record when predicting such storms. I usually take their low estimate and cut it in half. I am proud to say I am often more accurate. It seems as if the predictions are less reliable with more modern models and computer simulations than they were in the days when the weatherman stuck magnetic suns and snowflakes to a map of the state and region. But then I am old and my memory is often what I want it to be instead of the way things were.
Anyway, I have changed some appointments in semi-distant cities for Tuesday afternoon and Wednesday morning. The prospect of bucking drifting snow on half-plowed roads for an appointment I do not need to attend has no interest for me. I have rescheduled for more favorable conditions later in the week.
If the prognosticators have over-estimated the storm, as is often the case, I will look a chicken-little fool. Perhaps I will appear a prudent traveller, taking heed of potentially dangerous situations. In any case, I will be ensconced in my faux-leather office chair watching either a little or a lot of snow through my West-facing window on the morrow.
Is there good news for you, dear reader, in this rambling post? It depends on your point of view. If I am not in the car battling the elements I will have the opportunity to post drivel like this. I suspect there are at least a few of you who fervently wish I would not watch the weather in the future.
Less than 25 words
I really have nothing to add to the discourse of the day. People who use tragedy for political gain are sick and reprehensible.
January 9, 2011
I have seen this movie before
The Colts are once again one and done in the playoffs. The offense cannot score touchdowns, and the defense cannot stop the run. This time horrible special teams play was the dagger in the back in the three pronged loser trifecta. We have seen this movie before -- seven times in the first round of the playoffs.
For the life of me I cannot understand the conservative play calling. With almost a minute left in the first half, two time outs and good field position, The Colts made no effort to try and get the ball down field for a possible field goal attempt. It was clear by that point in the game the contest was going to be a low scoring affair, why not take a chance knowing the Jets have the ball to start the second half? History gives a recent example where bold play calling wins playoff football games. Remember the Saints onside kick to start the second half in last years' Superbowl? Then late in the fourth quarter the Colts tried to run on a third and forever, when they had been averaging less than two yards per carry. Reggie Wayne was targeted one freakin' time the whole game.
Kicker McAfee's leg must be waterlogged, he has struggled kicking deep. again and his punts were short and high. Why didn't the Colts just bounce one down the middle of the field, a low line drive on that final kickoff? The coverage teams had already given up a 40+ yard return. Then, once again the Colts defense proved the prevent defense does nothing but prevent your team from winning. The Jets moved into field goal range in just two plays, the corners giving enough room for your average high school receiver/quarterback combo to complete a ten yard pass. In that last drive, the coaching staff did their best to help too by calling a timeout to give the Jets time to plan another play! WTH?
Sure this team was decimated by injuries, you could have fielded a damn good team with the Colts IR and the Packers IR lists. The refs flags were velcroed in their pants. But that is no excuse. The home team had chances to win. Once again we can sing the same old song regarding the Indianapolis Colts in the playoffs. The offense cannot score, the defense cannot defend and the special teams are a disaster. Except Vinateri. That guy is clutch.
I guess I will have to root for Da Bears now.
For the life of me I cannot understand the conservative play calling. With almost a minute left in the first half, two time outs and good field position, The Colts made no effort to try and get the ball down field for a possible field goal attempt. It was clear by that point in the game the contest was going to be a low scoring affair, why not take a chance knowing the Jets have the ball to start the second half? History gives a recent example where bold play calling wins playoff football games. Remember the Saints onside kick to start the second half in last years' Superbowl? Then late in the fourth quarter the Colts tried to run on a third and forever, when they had been averaging less than two yards per carry. Reggie Wayne was targeted one freakin' time the whole game.
Kicker McAfee's leg must be waterlogged, he has struggled kicking deep. again and his punts were short and high. Why didn't the Colts just bounce one down the middle of the field, a low line drive on that final kickoff? The coverage teams had already given up a 40+ yard return. Then, once again the Colts defense proved the prevent defense does nothing but prevent your team from winning. The Jets moved into field goal range in just two plays, the corners giving enough room for your average high school receiver/quarterback combo to complete a ten yard pass. In that last drive, the coaching staff did their best to help too by calling a timeout to give the Jets time to plan another play! WTH?
Sure this team was decimated by injuries, you could have fielded a damn good team with the Colts IR and the Packers IR lists. The refs flags were velcroed in their pants. But that is no excuse. The home team had chances to win. Once again we can sing the same old song regarding the Indianapolis Colts in the playoffs. The offense cannot score, the defense cannot defend and the special teams are a disaster. Except Vinateri. That guy is clutch.
I guess I will have to root for Da Bears now.
January 8, 2011
Capricorn Nights
The wife and I were in the mood to wee a movie last night. We went to see the new Gwyneth Paltrow flick, Country Strong. I am not much for country music and I am not usually up for a drama when I go to the movies. I want to escape, not watch other people's problems. But WOW!
This is a great movie. There will Oscar (insert proper trademark here please) nominations for this film. I am not going to spoil it with details, but if you are looking for an enjoyable movie to see, this one gets 4Hoosierboy Average Joe stars out of four possible.
In other news, we got about an inch of snow flurries yesterday and last night. That damn Kindle is addictive. My coffee is getting cold. I have no idea what the title of this post even means. It came to me as I looked at the damn blinking cursor.
Have a great Saturday.
This is a great movie. There will Oscar (insert proper trademark here please) nominations for this film. I am not going to spoil it with details, but if you are looking for an enjoyable movie to see, this one gets 4
In other news, we got about an inch of snow flurries yesterday and last night. That damn Kindle is addictive. My coffee is getting cold. I have no idea what the title of this post even means. It came to me as I looked at the damn blinking cursor.
Have a great Saturday.
January 7, 2011
The weekend is nearly upon us
It is Friday, finally. When I am King of the World (and for the life of my I am not sure why I have not yet been designated) the Holiday season will be followed by a four day work week, so we can ease back in a little. Are you with me on this?
I have my monthly report and my quarterly report due today. I am not sure why I can't just say "read the previous three monthly reports" for my quarterly report. It would save time and effort. Eliminate waste! I just cut and paste from the monthlies.
I just started my second load of laundry this morning. Working from home has its advantages. Does the idea of me doing laundry make you hot ladies? Last night the wife was lying (laying? I never could conjugate that verb correctly and I am too lazy to look it up) on the floor next to the fire. I got down and gave her a kiss. I asked her if I was getting her all hot and bothered. She said she was at least being bothered. I had to laugh. That was a good one.
I have no big plans for the weekend, other than watching some football Saturday night as the Colts take on the loathsome Jets. How about you?
I have my monthly report and my quarterly report due today. I am not sure why I can't just say "read the previous three monthly reports" for my quarterly report. It would save time and effort. Eliminate waste! I just cut and paste from the monthlies.
I just started my second load of laundry this morning. Working from home has its advantages. Does the idea of me doing laundry make you hot ladies? Last night the wife was lying (laying? I never could conjugate that verb correctly and I am too lazy to look it up) on the floor next to the fire. I got down and gave her a kiss. I asked her if I was getting her all hot and bothered. She said she was at least being bothered. I had to laugh. That was a good one.
I have no big plans for the weekend, other than watching some football Saturday night as the Colts take on the loathsome Jets. How about you?
January 6, 2011
Today's earworm
A great live version of the Traffic song from the last post.
Here is a version from the Clapton/Winwood tour a few years ago. It features Winwood soloing the whole thing. Truly awesome. The guy can still belt out a tune.
Here is a bonus, 'cause you can never get too much Traffic:
Thirsty Thursday
I kicked my own ass yesterday. I am sure if I had advertised my location a long line would have formed to join in the fun.
Today finds me slightly more motivated and in a much better humor. Not that you care. You shouldn't.
Here are some lyrics for you to chew on:
Today finds me slightly more motivated and in a much better humor. Not that you care. You shouldn't.
Here are some lyrics for you to chew on:
Can you identify the artist and song? Let me know in the comments your best guess. No fair using Google or any other search engine. I am looking to see who has some real classic rock trivia knowledge.
The percentage you're paying is too high priced
While you're living beyond all your means
And the man in the suit has just bought a new car
From the profit he's made on your dreams
January 5, 2011
Observations on the New Year
Sugar free apple cinnamon instant oatmeal is not very good.
The older I get, the less interest in basketball I have. I guess I will have to turn in my Hoosier citizenship card.
I did not enter the new year enthused about work.
In fact my motivation level for diet and exercise is at a recent low. I blame the Kindle.
My motivation for continuing this hobby is at an all time low.
A strange defeatist attitude is starting to enter my brain regarding politics. We are at a historic crossroads for the future of our nation. I fully expect the elected politicians to let me down, to do what is best for their financial future and political future with no regards to the political future of their nation. I have come to the conclusion all politicians are self-serving ego maniacs. I have no faith any will step up and lead this country toward the future. That depresses me to no end. The idea of self serving politicians is not new. Read some history of the Constitutional Convention and you will see how George Washington manipulated the proceedings to get himself nominated as the first President. There is ample evidence Lincoln supporters filled the convention hall with fake delegates to get him the nomination in 1860.
I don't know. I have not faced a dose of apathy like this for a long time. I am not sure if it is post-holiday blues, the onset of deep winter, or too long off work.
I know. Time to suck it up.
The older I get, the less interest in basketball I have. I guess I will have to turn in my Hoosier citizenship card.
I did not enter the new year enthused about work.
In fact my motivation level for diet and exercise is at a recent low. I blame the Kindle.
My motivation for continuing this hobby is at an all time low.
A strange defeatist attitude is starting to enter my brain regarding politics. We are at a historic crossroads for the future of our nation. I fully expect the elected politicians to let me down, to do what is best for their financial future and political future with no regards to the political future of their nation. I have come to the conclusion all politicians are self-serving ego maniacs. I have no faith any will step up and lead this country toward the future. That depresses me to no end. The idea of self serving politicians is not new. Read some history of the Constitutional Convention and you will see how George Washington manipulated the proceedings to get himself nominated as the first President. There is ample evidence Lincoln supporters filled the convention hall with fake delegates to get him the nomination in 1860.
I don't know. I have not faced a dose of apathy like this for a long time. I am not sure if it is post-holiday blues, the onset of deep winter, or too long off work.
I know. Time to suck it up.
January 4, 2011
Long hair is not a right under the Fourteenth Amendment
As I become increasingly cantankerous I often feel the urge to smack certain people firmly on the side of the head with a baseball bat. I would, of course, use proper follow through when administering this erstwhile "clue bat".
Today I am strongly fighting the urge to head down Interstate 74 to South Central Indiana and beat Patrick and Melissa Hayden, the parents of a Greensburg Junior High Schooler. The Haydens have sued the Greensburg School Corporation because the basketball coach had the unmitigated gall to require his players cut their hair! Patrick and Melissa have sued in Federal Court to have the policy declared Unconstitutional and for ...wait for it...damages! source another source
Really? Not participating in sports at the Junior High level will cause the precious little hippie "irreparable harm"? I am all for supporting Constitutional rights. I makes me sick, but if assholes want to burn the Flag, it is their right. I do think a group or organization has the right to define grooming standards that best represent that group. The basketball team in this case is representing the school and the community. The student is participating by his own choice. He knew the rules going in.
Back in the stone ages of the 1970s I participated in wrestling. In those waning hippies days popular hair styles were every bit as long or even longer, than today. In fact, the only students in the high school that had hair above their collars, eyebrows and showing any ear at all were either in ROTC or playing on a sports team. I wanted to participate, so I cut my hair. Guess what? It grew back!
Yes, Mr. and Mrs. Hayden, human hair grows back after it is cut! Imagine, your precious boy can cut his hair if he wants to play, then it will grow back in a month or two. Crazy, I know.
The Haydens of Greensburg need to teach their son a lesson. It is not that The Man is out to stifle his individual freedom, but that life is not fair. If you want to work as a server in a fine dining establishment, the owners are going to insist you take the studs from you cheeks and chin. Mike Tyson-like tattoos on your face will not get you that coveted CEO position. My company expects me to be well groomed. I would much prefer to wear my comfortable Levis and an old T-shirt when I visit customers, but that is not the professional image I or my company want to project.
Playing sports is a privilege. You have to wear the stupid shorts and tank top if you play basketball. Some teams make the players wear matching shoes. Unless the Haydens can prove their little precious is a modern-day Sampson, that his long hair gives him extraordinary abilities to rebound and toss up three pointers like Reggie Miller, he needs to cut his hair.
Serious Tort reform that makes the loser pay court costs would eliminate this kind of nonsense. The Haydens will be the first to whine and complain when their property taxes go up, never making the connection that taxpayer money will be used in the legal defense of this lawsuit and to pay any damages they might win. Man, if I could be a judge for a day...Can you rule the Plaintiffs are fucking morons?
Today I am strongly fighting the urge to head down Interstate 74 to South Central Indiana and beat Patrick and Melissa Hayden, the parents of a Greensburg Junior High Schooler. The Haydens have sued the Greensburg School Corporation because the basketball coach had the unmitigated gall to require his players cut their hair! Patrick and Melissa have sued in Federal Court to have the policy declared Unconstitutional and for ...wait for it...damages! source another source
Really? Not participating in sports at the Junior High level will cause the precious little hippie "irreparable harm"? I am all for supporting Constitutional rights. I makes me sick, but if assholes want to burn the Flag, it is their right. I do think a group or organization has the right to define grooming standards that best represent that group. The basketball team in this case is representing the school and the community. The student is participating by his own choice. He knew the rules going in.
Back in the stone ages of the 1970s I participated in wrestling. In those waning hippies days popular hair styles were every bit as long or even longer, than today. In fact, the only students in the high school that had hair above their collars, eyebrows and showing any ear at all were either in ROTC or playing on a sports team. I wanted to participate, so I cut my hair. Guess what? It grew back!
Yes, Mr. and Mrs. Hayden, human hair grows back after it is cut! Imagine, your precious boy can cut his hair if he wants to play, then it will grow back in a month or two. Crazy, I know.
The Haydens of Greensburg need to teach their son a lesson. It is not that The Man is out to stifle his individual freedom, but that life is not fair. If you want to work as a server in a fine dining establishment, the owners are going to insist you take the studs from you cheeks and chin. Mike Tyson-like tattoos on your face will not get you that coveted CEO position. My company expects me to be well groomed. I would much prefer to wear my comfortable Levis and an old T-shirt when I visit customers, but that is not the professional image I or my company want to project.
Playing sports is a privilege. You have to wear the stupid shorts and tank top if you play basketball. Some teams make the players wear matching shoes. Unless the Haydens can prove their little precious is a modern-day Sampson, that his long hair gives him extraordinary abilities to rebound and toss up three pointers like Reggie Miller, he needs to cut his hair.
Serious Tort reform that makes the loser pay court costs would eliminate this kind of nonsense. The Haydens will be the first to whine and complain when their property taxes go up, never making the connection that taxpayer money will be used in the legal defense of this lawsuit and to pay any damages they might win. Man, if I could be a judge for a day...Can you rule the Plaintiffs are fucking morons?
January 3, 2011
Can you hear me now?
It is funny how life works. Remember when The Obama took office and he told us all that elections have consequences? Remember how Pelosi and Reid and their gang of leftists got together and wrote the health care bill without any minority input? Remember how they shoved the Stimulus that did not stimulate down our throats? Do you remember those events?
Now The Obama says that the Republicans should try and compromise, they should work with him, not against him. Now that the American people have elected non-Commie motherfuckers, he is all for compromise.
I say the Republican party damn well not only remain the party of "NO", but steadfastly stick to "Hell NO" at every opportunity. If Bill number 1 in the new Congress is not a repeal of Obamacare (even if it will not succeed), there will voter Hell to pay.
I no longer give a shit about the Republican Party. I want Conservative principles and a limited, smaller Government. If the RINOs in charge do get that, they can bite me and find themselves hanging out in the dusty shelf of history along with the Whigs.
The people have spoken.
Now The Obama says that the Republicans should try and compromise, they should work with him, not against him. Now that the American people have elected non-Commie motherfuckers, he is all for compromise.
I say the Republican party damn well not only remain the party of "NO", but steadfastly stick to "Hell NO" at every opportunity. If Bill number 1 in the new Congress is not a repeal of Obamacare (even if it will not succeed), there will voter Hell to pay.
I no longer give a shit about the Republican Party. I want Conservative principles and a limited, smaller Government. If the RINOs in charge do get that, they can bite me and find themselves hanging out in the dusty shelf of history along with the Whigs.
The people have spoken.
Reason 2,657 why you should hate Democrats
Have you purchased gas lately? It cost more than $40 bucks to fill up my car last week. I suspect the wife's SUV will forget what a full tank is like until prices moderate.
Remember when the Democrats took charge of Congress in 2006? They claimed opening ANWAR and offshore oil fields would do nothing to alleviate escalating fuel costs because it would take five years before those sources could contribute? Five years later oil prices are again surging. We do not have additional domestic sources on line because the Democrats will not allow us to drill our own resources. They would rather we give our steadily declining in value greenbacks to Mid-East terrorists and Communist thugs in South America.
But we are building windmills.
Remember when the Democrats took charge of Congress in 2006? They claimed opening ANWAR and offshore oil fields would do nothing to alleviate escalating fuel costs because it would take five years before those sources could contribute? Five years later oil prices are again surging. We do not have additional domestic sources on line because the Democrats will not allow us to drill our own resources. They would rather we give our steadily declining in value greenbacks to Mid-East terrorists and Communist thugs in South America.
But we are building windmills.
January 1, 2011
CH-CH-CHanges
Happy New Year.
It was time for a house cleaning. The other guy is gone. I am in charge now.
You gotta give credit to The Who, they knew what they were talking about.
It was time for a house cleaning. The other guy is gone. I am in charge now.
Meet the new boss
Same as the old boss
You gotta give credit to The Who, they knew what they were talking about.
December 31, 2010
Happy New Year
Best wishes for a safe and happy New Year.
If you drink, don't drive.
I will see you on the other side of the calendar.
If you drink, don't drive.
I will see you on the other side of the calendar.
December 30, 2010
Friday Five. Holiday Week/Thursday edition
I know, I am excited too.
It is trivia time! Answer these trivia questions in the comments. No fair using search engines or encyclopedias, research materials etc. You on your best Boy Scout and Girl Scout honor here, no cheating.
1. In what movie did the characters of Ma and Pa Kettle make their debut?
2. In the TV Show M*A*S*H, what is Frank Burns home town?
3. In what was the city the TV series One Day at A Time set?
4. Cheers bartender Woody Boyd came from what town?
5. Where was Steve McQueen born?
bonus: what is the common theme to each answer?
Have fun. No cheating.
It is trivia time! Answer these trivia questions in the comments. No fair using search engines or encyclopedias, research materials etc. You on your best Boy Scout and Girl Scout honor here, no cheating.
1. In what movie did the characters of Ma and Pa Kettle make their debut?
2. In the TV Show M*A*S*H, what is Frank Burns home town?
3. In what was the city the TV series One Day at A Time set?
4. Cheers bartender Woody Boyd came from what town?
5. Where was Steve McQueen born?
bonus: what is the common theme to each answer?
Have fun. No cheating.
December 29, 2010
Bad hair day
I received the worst haircut of my life yesterday. That is saying something since my Mom used to cut my hair.
About once a month, or maybe six weeks, Mom would put a stool in the middle of the kitchen, drape a sheet around our shoulders and clip away. That all stopped after she bought sometorture device combination razor/comb. The thing was supposed to make a home hair cut as easy as running a comb through your locks. It cut your hair in nice layers as you combed it. Otter and I took our turns. The thing did not cut, it pulled the hair. Mom and Dad thought we were just big babies as we cried at every tug and pull. Mom thought the thing worked great. Dad thought he had raised a couple of pussies -- crying over a haircut. Things changed when it was Dad's turn on the stool. He cursed my Mom and the evil razor comb. Not long after that the Parents decided we were old enough to get our hair cut at a real barbershop.
Fast forward to yesterday. The haircut did not hurt, but it was still a hack job. I have long let the stylist at the discount place use clippers on the side and back. They then go to work on the top with scissors and comb. This girl used clippers on the whole thing, going in every direction possible. She did not cut the front to accommodate a part, she did not layer the hair to lay down on the top. She just clipped away. I have parted my hair for at least 40 years (I do not remember ever having a different hairstyle, it was just much longer in the 1970s). Now I guess I just comb it straight, at least until it grows out a little.
My ever-present optimistic side says it is time to try something new. My realistic side says I got a shitty haircut.
About once a month, or maybe six weeks, Mom would put a stool in the middle of the kitchen, drape a sheet around our shoulders and clip away. That all stopped after she bought some
Fast forward to yesterday. The haircut did not hurt, but it was still a hack job. I have long let the stylist at the discount place use clippers on the side and back. They then go to work on the top with scissors and comb. This girl used clippers on the whole thing, going in every direction possible. She did not cut the front to accommodate a part, she did not layer the hair to lay down on the top. She just clipped away. I have parted my hair for at least 40 years (I do not remember ever having a different hairstyle, it was just much longer in the 1970s). Now I guess I just comb it straight, at least until it grows out a little.
My ever-present optimistic side says it is time to try something new. My realistic side says I got a shitty haircut.
December 28, 2010
Books, books, books
The lovely and talented Jean asked what books I have downloaded so far. I purchased Bernard Cornwell's newest The Fort. If you dig historical fiction there is no one better writing that genre today. I also copped a copy of the Autobiography of US Grant, The Red Badge of Courage, The Count of Monte Cristo, Tarzan, and some Zane Grey among others. I have plenty to occupy me while on my travels.
I used to own copy of Grant's memoirs. It is one of the best autobiographies ever penned. Grant wrote it in the last months of his life, in a mountain top cabin. Though he was dying of throat cancer, he doggedly stuck to the project, living on the advance, so his family would have something to live on after he died. This hefty tome was part of my collection that was destroyed by termites at my Mother-in-law's house.
I had taken a job in a different city and when it came time to go, we still had not found a house to live in. We rented a small apartment and took what furnishings and such we needed to live, and boxed the balance and stored it at my MIL's. Clearly hundreds of books were not necessary. I lost probably 40 or fifty books on the Civil War, including Grant and Sherman's memoirs. Gone was my rare copy of The Rock of Chicamauga. I lost my collection of books on the Zulu Wars (except The Washing of the Spears, which I had loaned to someone). I lost some college textbooks and both my wife's and my High School yearbooks. Box after box of novels, textbooks and history books were chewed. They all had to go. Such is life. I hope the bugs that got to them enjoyed my Tacitus, my Livy, and my Herodotus as much as I did.
I still have far too many books. They are stacked in shelves, in boxes, in storage containers. I have weeded through them and sold or donated hundreds. I have spent far too much of my hard earned treasure on books. My wife has been accommodating, and in recent years I have backed off somewhat from my reading. Some of my favorite authors have had the bad grace to die, or write too damn slow. My vision is not what it used to be, nor is my attention span such that I can read for six, eight or ten hours at a time. My new toy may very well reverse that trend.
What are you reading?
I used to own copy of Grant's memoirs. It is one of the best autobiographies ever penned. Grant wrote it in the last months of his life, in a mountain top cabin. Though he was dying of throat cancer, he doggedly stuck to the project, living on the advance, so his family would have something to live on after he died. This hefty tome was part of my collection that was destroyed by termites at my Mother-in-law's house.
I had taken a job in a different city and when it came time to go, we still had not found a house to live in. We rented a small apartment and took what furnishings and such we needed to live, and boxed the balance and stored it at my MIL's. Clearly hundreds of books were not necessary. I lost probably 40 or fifty books on the Civil War, including Grant and Sherman's memoirs. Gone was my rare copy of The Rock of Chicamauga. I lost my collection of books on the Zulu Wars (except The Washing of the Spears, which I had loaned to someone). I lost some college textbooks and both my wife's and my High School yearbooks. Box after box of novels, textbooks and history books were chewed. They all had to go. Such is life. I hope the bugs that got to them enjoyed my Tacitus, my Livy, and my Herodotus as much as I did.
I still have far too many books. They are stacked in shelves, in boxes, in storage containers. I have weeded through them and sold or donated hundreds. I have spent far too much of my hard earned treasure on books. My wife has been accommodating, and in recent years I have backed off somewhat from my reading. Some of my favorite authors have had the bad grace to die, or write too damn slow. My vision is not what it used to be, nor is my attention span such that I can read for six, eight or ten hours at a time. My new toy may very well reverse that trend.
What are you reading?
December 27, 2010
If it is Monday I think it is a vacation day
Good morning readers. Did you catch Manning doing his Michael Vick impersonation at the end of the Colts-Raiders game? I do not think his plaque at Canton will compare him to the Galloping Ghost.
I am up and at 'em early this morning. No matter, I can catch a nap after while. It is OK, as the post title indicates I am on vacation this week. I entered December with five days left and our company has a "use them or lose them" policy. So here I am screwing around on the Internet.
I got 20 free eBooks loaded yesterday. I also bought a book I was wanting. I have plenty of reading to hold me through the cold winter.
I hope you guys out east are stocked up on bread, milk and eggs. Everyone knows there is an endless need to make French Toast when there is a big snow storm. That must be true. The stores are always emptied of those items whenever the Snow Team/Scare Team goes into panic mode around here.
I am up and at 'em early this morning. No matter, I can catch a nap after while. It is OK, as the post title indicates I am on vacation this week. I entered December with five days left and our company has a "use them or lose them" policy. So here I am screwing around on the Internet.
I got 20 free eBooks loaded yesterday. I also bought a book I was wanting. I have plenty of reading to hold me through the cold winter.
I hope you guys out east are stocked up on bread, milk and eggs. Everyone knows there is an endless need to make French Toast when there is a big snow storm. That must be true. The stores are always emptied of those items whenever the Snow Team/Scare Team goes into panic mode around here.
December 26, 2010
That old Christmas Hangover
Greetings fellow inhabitants of this big blue rock we call home. I hope you had the Merriest of Christmases (or at least a great Saturday if you are of the non-Christmas types).
WE had a great day around here. My kids were home. My daughter and her husband came down late in the morning. We opened up some presents then I fixed a late breakfast. WE played some games and messed around . I then got busy putting together the Christmas dinner spread. Turkey, mashed spuds, homemade mac and cheese, noodles, gravy, green bean casserole, candied sweet potatoes (puke) and rolls rounded out the carb-heavy but scrumptious meal. My daughter made an awesome dessert called a truffle. It was loaded with fruit, angel food cake and pudding. My diet and blood sugar took a hit but WTF, it was Christmas!
The wife surprised me with an awesome Kindle. I had been reading books on her iPad, but she was not too keen on me taking it on business trips because then she could not use it. It is sweet. She let me order a new book to go on it. Done. Now I have to find out how to get at the free books as well. I have been reading the free offerings from the Apple bookstore. Now I need them on the new toy. In all I think everyone was more than satisfied with their gifts.
I need another cup of coffee this morning then I am off to read what you have to say before settling in with a new book. Have a great Sunday!
WE had a great day around here. My kids were home. My daughter and her husband came down late in the morning. We opened up some presents then I fixed a late breakfast. WE played some games and messed around . I then got busy putting together the Christmas dinner spread. Turkey, mashed spuds, homemade mac and cheese, noodles, gravy, green bean casserole, candied sweet potatoes (puke) and rolls rounded out the carb-heavy but scrumptious meal. My daughter made an awesome dessert called a truffle. It was loaded with fruit, angel food cake and pudding. My diet and blood sugar took a hit but WTF, it was Christmas!
The wife surprised me with an awesome Kindle. I had been reading books on her iPad, but she was not too keen on me taking it on business trips because then she could not use it. It is sweet. She let me order a new book to go on it. Done. Now I have to find out how to get at the free books as well. I have been reading the free offerings from the Apple bookstore. Now I need them on the new toy. In all I think everyone was more than satisfied with their gifts.
I need another cup of coffee this morning then I am off to read what you have to say before settling in with a new book. Have a great Sunday!
December 25, 2010
December 24, 2010
December 23, 2010
Snooping
Eating alone sucks as any single person or frequent traveler like me can attest. There is only one advantage: you can overhear some interesting conversations. This evening the wife was off finishing the Christmas shopping and the boy was at a wedding rehearsal and I hit the grocery and WalMart. I stopped at the local fried chicken emporium for a quick supper. Two guys and a couple of kids sat in the booth behind me.
Kid one asked kid two if they had a Christmas tree? Kid two replied they had two. Adult with kid two said this was the last year for that. Adult one wanted to know why.
"Two reasons. One, the white one won't light no more. It is out"
"You cain't replace the lights?" asked Adult one.
"No, it is whatchacallit, pre light bulb"
(HB: candles?)
"Two" said adult two, "with five people, two dogs, and a cat, the trailer is just too crowded to have two Christmas trees".
Indeed
Kid one asked kid two if they had a Christmas tree? Kid two replied they had two. Adult with kid two said this was the last year for that. Adult one wanted to know why.
"Two reasons. One, the white one won't light no more. It is out"
"You cain't replace the lights?" asked Adult one.
"No, it is whatchacallit, pre light bulb"
(HB: candles?)
"Two" said adult two, "with five people, two dogs, and a cat, the trailer is just too crowded to have two Christmas trees".
Indeed
December 22, 2010
Only days away from Christmas
Is your shopping done? Have you decided what you are getting the old Hoosierboy this year?
What's that? I did not make your naughty or nice list this Christmas? Shame on you.
I was messing around on the interwebz yesterday. Here are a couple more great TV Themes for your enjoyment:
Dad watched reruns of this show every Saturday afternoon.
I have to admit I screwed up when I did not put this one into the top 10. I loved the original TV series. The movies, not so much.
Did you all notice that?I actually said I was wrong about something. Mark this as a rare day in the calendar.
What's that? I did not make your naughty or nice list this Christmas? Shame on you.
I was messing around on the interwebz yesterday. Here are a couple more great TV Themes for your enjoyment:
Dad watched reruns of this show every Saturday afternoon.
I have to admit I screwed up when I did not put this one into the top 10. I loved the original TV series. The movies, not so much.
Did you all notice that?
December 21, 2010
Insert pithy title of your own choosing
I got most of my Christmas shopping done yesterday. I was the one at the mall. Did you see me? I still have one or two items to grab. Probably tomorrow.
There was no view of the big eclipse last night (or is it tonight?). The view of the Heavens was blocked by large snowflakes. It took me well over an hour to get home from the mall, a drive that usually takes about 20 - 25 minutes. I saw two vehicles in the ditch, both four wheel drive SUVs. Those drivers think the laws of physics do not apply to them I guess. Of course I totaled my 4WD last January when I hit some ice, so who am I to point arthritic fingers?
It is supposed to be above freezing for the first time in weeks today, so some of the snow should melt. There is another big storm due to hit Friday. I am not sure what the record snowfall is for December, but we should be approaching those high totals. That was an awkward sentence. Hopefully, you can follow my meaning.
Well I am off to peruse the interwebz. I hope someone is prepared to entertain me this morning.
There was no view of the big eclipse last night (or is it tonight?). The view of the Heavens was blocked by large snowflakes. It took me well over an hour to get home from the mall, a drive that usually takes about 20 - 25 minutes. I saw two vehicles in the ditch, both four wheel drive SUVs. Those drivers think the laws of physics do not apply to them I guess. Of course I totaled my 4WD last January when I hit some ice, so who am I to point arthritic fingers?
It is supposed to be above freezing for the first time in weeks today, so some of the snow should melt. There is another big storm due to hit Friday. I am not sure what the record snowfall is for December, but we should be approaching those high totals. That was an awkward sentence. Hopefully, you can follow my meaning.
Well I am off to peruse the interwebz. I hope someone is prepared to entertain me this morning.
December 20, 2010
Ridin' the Storm Out
Her brother was on the sofa, eatin' chocolate pie.I fried up some chicken last night. Every time I fry chicken this song goes through my brain. I made some of my usual kick-ass chicken gravy to go with the mashed spuds and biscuits.
Momma was in the kitchen, cuttin' chicken up to fry.
Daddy was in the backyard, rollin' up a garden hose
I was on the porch with Charlotte, feelin' love down to my toes.
and we were swingin' (swingin')
yes we were swingin' (swingin') --John Anderson *
There were some awesome football games yesterday. I was hoping there existed some miracle rule that could cause both the Steelers and the Jets to lose. How do the Giants choke away that game? I don't care if I have to hire some guy who punted at the local high school, the Giants punter has to go. Not punching the final kick out of bounds is inexcusable.
Today is my last working day of the year. Good for me. I have a quick conference call with the boss this morning and my December expenses are waiting to be filed. Then I will spend the balance of the day cleaning up my desk etc.
We are heading down the Christmas home stretch. I sill have a few gifts to purchase for the wife. Well, if I am honest, I have all of the gifts yet to purchase, but who is keeping score? There is a mixed back of sports metaphors to chew on.
I am not sure I like the red/green look of the old blog. I may mess with it a little more. But then I may not. You should probably check back eight or ten times today just see if I have made any changes.
* My wife simply loathes that song. Perhaps for the same reason people named "Mandy" loathe Barry Manilow. Never mind, there are a lot of reasons to hate Barry Manilow.
December 19, 2010
Don't blame it on Rio -- It is my fault
The damn cursor is mocking me again this morning. I hate its' smug blinking. Like it really knows what to write either.
The coffee is good and hot. The donuts were fresh yesterday, but they are DONUTS.
Really. you best move on today, I have nothing. It is not you, it is me. I promise to do better tomorrow.
Thanks for stopping by, though.
The coffee is good and hot. The donuts were fresh yesterday, but they are DONUTS.
Really. you best move on today, I have nothing. It is not you, it is me. I promise to do better tomorrow.
Thanks for stopping by, though.
December 18, 2010
If you spend this Saturday in the park you freeze your ass off
It looks like another Saturday morning has rolled around. It is cold and snow still covers the ground and. I guess it is winter, so I should not be surprised.
Is it a sad commentary that I have become so used to living and breathing Murphy's Law that disappointment has become an expectation? It is hard to remain upbeat and positive when you are routinely served a shit sandwich. On stale bread. There are people far worse off than me, and I thank God for my blessings every day. I have plenty to be thankful for. And yes, I know the preceding sentence is bad grammar.As I have stated her many times, if you focus on all that is wrong in life, you will miss out on what is good. It is my mantra the past several years.
The boy had his girlfriend over last night. We watched Christmas with the Kranks. This flick has become one of our favorite Christmas movies. I read the Grishom novel before I saw the film.
I think I will fix bowl of instant oatmeal for breakfast. Yum (insert sarcasm). I recorded a boatload of Andy Hardy movies yesterday. I think I will go watch Mickey Rooney ham it up. And people say Shatner is the king of over actors...
Is it a sad commentary that I have become so used to living and breathing Murphy's Law that disappointment has become an expectation? It is hard to remain upbeat and positive when you are routinely served a shit sandwich. On stale bread. There are people far worse off than me, and I thank God for my blessings every day. I have plenty to be thankful for. And yes, I know the preceding sentence is bad grammar.As I have stated her many times, if you focus on all that is wrong in life, you will miss out on what is good. It is my mantra the past several years.
The boy had his girlfriend over last night. We watched Christmas with the Kranks. This flick has become one of our favorite Christmas movies. I read the Grishom novel before I saw the film.
I think I will fix bowl of instant oatmeal for breakfast. Yum (insert sarcasm). I recorded a boatload of Andy Hardy movies yesterday. I think I will go watch Mickey Rooney ham it up. And people say Shatner is the king of over actors...
December 17, 2010
Pygmy Sex -- with extreme close ups!
So it is Friday. I still do not have any of my Christmas shopping done; maybe this weekend. To be honest, I only have to buy for the wife, she takes care of everyone else. Much of that is done.
I had to go get some blood drawn this morning. No problem.
I am trying to get things wound down at work, Monday is my last day until January 3! Whoo hoo, it is good to be me. That is why I am not stressing too much about shopping. I can hit the mall early next week and be in and out with only small crowds to hamper me. Have I mentioned I hate people? I try extra hard to be extra nice at Christmas time though. Except for the asshole at Target last week who was clearly wanting to look at the Kindle I was playing with. He kept giving me the "hurry up" death glare. he paced behind me, snorting and sighing. I took my time. He left and came back just as I was about to put the sample unit down and gave me another big sigh. I decided to read one of the sample books. Does that make me a jerk? Finally he came up and actually leaned into me and started looking at the unit over my shoulder. His rudeness outpaced mine so I gave in. he won by actually touching me. I hate to be touched.
I see the House has passed the Tax bill. I still do not understand how they can pass a revenue bill from the Senate. maybe a lawyer-type can help me out. For this poor moderately-educated boy from Indiana the Constitution seems pretty clear.
Isn't it ironic the Democrats in Congress and The Obama have all voted to continue ANOTHER GW Bush policy? For a guy who was so wrong on every front -- tax cuts, Afghanistan, WOT, Wire taps, Patriot Act, Iraq, Guantanamo, etc. -- it sure seems like many of Bush's policies are continued by the current dipshits in charge. I am just sayin'.
I had to go get some blood drawn this morning. No problem.
I am trying to get things wound down at work, Monday is my last day until January 3! Whoo hoo, it is good to be me. That is why I am not stressing too much about shopping. I can hit the mall early next week and be in and out with only small crowds to hamper me. Have I mentioned I hate people? I try extra hard to be extra nice at Christmas time though. Except for the asshole at Target last week who was clearly wanting to look at the Kindle I was playing with. He kept giving me the "hurry up" death glare. he paced behind me, snorting and sighing. I took my time. He left and came back just as I was about to put the sample unit down and gave me another big sigh. I decided to read one of the sample books. Does that make me a jerk? Finally he came up and actually leaned into me and started looking at the unit over my shoulder. His rudeness outpaced mine so I gave in. he won by actually touching me. I hate to be touched.
I see the House has passed the Tax bill. I still do not understand how they can pass a revenue bill from the Senate. maybe a lawyer-type can help me out. For this poor moderately-educated boy from Indiana the Constitution seems pretty clear.
Isn't it ironic the Democrats in Congress and The Obama have all voted to continue ANOTHER GW Bush policy? For a guy who was so wrong on every front -- tax cuts, Afghanistan, WOT, Wire taps, Patriot Act, Iraq, Guantanamo, etc. -- it sure seems like many of Bush's policies are continued by the current dipshits in charge. I am just sayin'.
December 16, 2010
Does anyone in Washington understand the Constitution?
The senate has passed a tax bill and sent it to the House.
source
This cannot be. The House should reject it on principle. The Constitution mandates all Revenue bills must originate in the House of Representatives. This Bill is Unconstitutional.
Article. I.
Section. 7.
All Bills for raising Revenue shall originate in the House of Representatives; but the Senate may propose or concur with Amendments as on other Bills. source
source
This cannot be. The House should reject it on principle. The Constitution mandates all Revenue bills must originate in the House of Representatives. This Bill is Unconstitutional.
Article. I.
Section. 7.
All Bills for raising Revenue shall originate in the House of Representatives; but the Senate may propose or concur with Amendments as on other Bills. source
December 15, 2010
Bush and tax Cuts
As a matter of record, the final Bush tax rates passed Congress in mid-2003, shortly after Republicans retook the Senate. From August 2003 to December 2007, over eight million net new jobs were created, and real GDP grew almost 3% per year. At that same time, federal revenues increased by 2.3% of GDP ($785 B), putting revenues above the average level of 1960-2000, the forty years before Bush. Unemployment fell to 4.4%, and the deficit fell to 1.2% of GDP. Such was the catastrophe of four years of Bush's tax rates and Republican-written federal budgets. sourceRead the whole thing
For the record, I can not emphasize that extending the current tax rates does not give ANYONE a tax cut. Anyone -- reporter, blog, TV talking head-- who claims otherwise is a damn liar.
December 14, 2010
Michael Moore -- What a piece of garbage
http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2010-12-14/michael-moore-why-im-posting-bail-money-for-julian-assange/
Michael Moore you are fucking asstard of the highest order.
Michael Moore you are fucking asstard of the highest order.
Confessions of a band geek
Rita, in comments to the post below, could not believe I did not have March of the Marionettes (Alfred Hitchcock Theme) in my top ten list. You see, I am scarred for life because of that song. So I will tell the story of why I cannot put that TV Theme into my top ten list.
I have confession. I was once a band geek. I played the trombone, but not very well. I was part of the marching band, the pit band for the high school musicals we produced, the stage band (big band music), and I played in the brass section of the orchestra. Yes, my little high school actually had an orchestra.
If you ever spent time in band you know there is pressure to compete in the State solo and ensemble contests. Four of us trombone players decided to form a quartet and compete. The song we chose was March of the Marionettes (Alfred Hitchcock Theme). In all honesty, the song was not hard to play, the difficulty was each part came in at different times, each in turn playing a subtle counter-melody. Timing was key. The four of us actually got pretty good on the song. A first place was a given, according to our bandleader and fellow band geeks. We even played at a local church during services to great acclaim.
The day arrived for contests. We were typical high school band geeks. We thought we were cool, and were cocky for no reason at all. We went into the classroom at some school (three decades have blurred that memory). The judges sat in the back and we stood in the front of the classroom , near the chalkboard.
We began to play: dooop da diddle da doop da doop. And first trombone began to giggle. He could not stop. Soon we all were laughing. We stopped and asked to begin again. We gathered to compose ourselves. First trombone told us what had cracked him up. We started again. Third trombone began to laugh. Soon we all lost it again. This time we only got about six bars into the song. (I will not tell you which part I played in this drama).
The judges told us to leave and come back after the next group. We waited in the hallway, giving each other stern pep talks. Our second chance came. We made it through the song, but all of us were laughing at various times. We were horrible.
The scores were later posted and we got a third place. None of the group was surprised. The second trombone stuck his head into the judge's room and asked "What does it take to get a fourth place anyway?" We all nearly died in hysterics. Like I said, we were just a bunch of band geeks.
Fellow band members were shocked, the band leader pissed. "You guys were so good, how could the judges screw you like that?" We explained that one of the judges was a fat, older bald guy. He looked remarkably like Hitchcock himself. The irony was too much. Hitchcock liked to put himself into cameo roles in all of his films, and a cameo as a judge was too delicious. The notion cracked us all up.
Perhaps you had to be there.
Anyway, that is my story. And here is the song, played correctly:
I have confession. I was once a band geek. I played the trombone, but not very well. I was part of the marching band, the pit band for the high school musicals we produced, the stage band (big band music), and I played in the brass section of the orchestra. Yes, my little high school actually had an orchestra.
If you ever spent time in band you know there is pressure to compete in the State solo and ensemble contests. Four of us trombone players decided to form a quartet and compete. The song we chose was March of the Marionettes (Alfred Hitchcock Theme). In all honesty, the song was not hard to play, the difficulty was each part came in at different times, each in turn playing a subtle counter-melody. Timing was key. The four of us actually got pretty good on the song. A first place was a given, according to our bandleader and fellow band geeks. We even played at a local church during services to great acclaim.
The day arrived for contests. We were typical high school band geeks. We thought we were cool, and were cocky for no reason at all. We went into the classroom at some school (three decades have blurred that memory). The judges sat in the back and we stood in the front of the classroom , near the chalkboard.
We began to play: dooop da diddle da doop da doop. And first trombone began to giggle. He could not stop. Soon we all were laughing. We stopped and asked to begin again. We gathered to compose ourselves. First trombone told us what had cracked him up. We started again. Third trombone began to laugh. Soon we all lost it again. This time we only got about six bars into the song. (I will not tell you which part I played in this drama).
The judges told us to leave and come back after the next group. We waited in the hallway, giving each other stern pep talks. Our second chance came. We made it through the song, but all of us were laughing at various times. We were horrible.
The scores were later posted and we got a third place. None of the group was surprised. The second trombone stuck his head into the judge's room and asked "What does it take to get a fourth place anyway?" We all nearly died in hysterics. Like I said, we were just a bunch of band geeks.
Fellow band members were shocked, the band leader pissed. "You guys were so good, how could the judges screw you like that?" We explained that one of the judges was a fat, older bald guy. He looked remarkably like Hitchcock himself. The irony was too much. Hitchcock liked to put himself into cameo roles in all of his films, and a cameo as a judge was too delicious. The notion cracked us all up.
Perhaps you had to be there.
Anyway, that is my story. And here is the song, played correctly:
December 13, 2010
Friday Five -- Monday Edition (The Monday Ten)
Friday's post got me thinking about some of the great TV theme songs. It may be a product of my age, but it sure seems like the shows of my youth had much better theme songs than those television classics of today. Some shows opening themes are instantly recognizable. Partly because of the popularity or long runs of the shows. The Simpsons Theme comes to mind. Everytime I hear the M*A*S*H theme I instantly think of the death of Henry Blake episode. Who does not love the Alfred Hitchcock Hour theme? Do you know the Masterpiece Theater Theme?
Who among us does not instantly connect with the Lonney Toons theme or Three Stooges songs? For those of us of a certain age, we instantly recognize the themes from Bewitched, I Dream of Jeanie, Leave it to Beaver, Bonanza and Laverne and Shirley. Younger readers may associate closer with the themes from Friends or Full House. Many of us will recognize the theme from Days of Our Lives or Pee Wee's Playhouse.
Here are some of what I consider the greatest TV theme songs of all time:
1. Rat Patrol. Listen
The undisputed best theme song ever.
2. The Andy Griffith Show Listen
3. The Addams Family Listen
4. Hogan's Heroes Listen
5. Rawhide Listen
6. Peter Gunn Listen
7. Hawaii Five-O Listen
8. The Monkees listen
9. Batman Listen
10. Daniel Boone Listen
Honorable mention -- The Tonight Show Theme (Johnny Carson version) Listen
I am sure I missed some great ones. What are your favorites?
Who among us does not instantly connect with the Lonney Toons theme or Three Stooges songs? For those of us of a certain age, we instantly recognize the themes from Bewitched, I Dream of Jeanie, Leave it to Beaver, Bonanza and Laverne and Shirley. Younger readers may associate closer with the themes from Friends or Full House. Many of us will recognize the theme from Days of Our Lives or Pee Wee's Playhouse.
Here are some of what I consider the greatest TV theme songs of all time:
1. Rat Patrol. Listen
The undisputed best theme song ever.
2. The Andy Griffith Show Listen
3. The Addams Family Listen
4. Hogan's Heroes Listen
5. Rawhide Listen
6. Peter Gunn Listen
7. Hawaii Five-O Listen
8. The Monkees listen
9. Batman Listen
10. Daniel Boone Listen
Honorable mention -- The Tonight Show Theme (Johnny Carson version) Listen
I am sure I missed some great ones. What are your favorites?
December 12, 2010
I saw the news today, Oh boy
We are scheduled for a brown out today.
I am not talking about electricity/power issues.
Instead of the usual hues of red, yellow and green denoting rain and the pinks and blues that represent ice and snow, our area is covered in shades of brown.
Yep, we are in for some shitty weather.
I am not talking about electricity/power issues.
Instead of the usual hues of red, yellow and green denoting rain and the pinks and blues that represent ice and snow, our area is covered in shades of brown.
Yep, we are in for some shitty weather.
December 11, 2010
Saturday night's all right for fightin'
Good morning, dear readers. As is my custom, I was up early on this cloudy (I think -- it is still dark) Saturday morning.
I put up a poll over there on the left. You might as well participate. I know you ain't got nothin' better to do, 'else you would not be wasting time here. Did you like that sentence? That is some pure Hoosier talkin' for you this fine day.
A collection agency started calling the house yesterday looking for a Joanna. There is not and has never been a Joanna at this number. I told them that the first and second times they called. I did not answer the third time nor the fourth nor the fifth. They called approximately every hour from 8:30 in the morning until 9:00 pm. I know they use phone bots, but if you call during the weekday and no one answers, wouldn't you think it is safe to assume the party you are trying to reach is at work? The jerkoff I talked to the second time pretty much called me a liar when I said there was not and never has been a person by that name at this number. I pointed out I have had the same phone number for 20 years. He asked me for a number to reach Joanna. I told him again I don't know Joanna. He started yelling that I need to tell her to call him at...I hung up. If they call again today I am calling the State AG. BTW, If you are Joanna Wilson -- pay your bills or do not give my number.
I am not sure what is on tap for today. I may go see the Harry Potter movie this afternoon, if I can get the boy to be seen in public with me. I have some minor drywall repair to do. I probably will not get that. The hole has been there since last spring when the toilet paper holder tore out of the wall. Anotherday week month will not hurt anything. I don't mind the spackle work -- it is the painting I will have to do after. I hate to paint and I know when the paint and brushes come out the wife will find a thousand places that need touched up. Did I mention how much I hate to paint? I would rather pick up dog turds with my bare hands. NO- before you ask -- I will not come over and clean up your dog doo if you come and paint.
Have a good Saturday.
I put up a poll over there on the left. You might as well participate. I know you ain't got nothin' better to do, 'else you would not be wasting time here. Did you like that sentence? That is some pure Hoosier talkin' for you this fine day.
A collection agency started calling the house yesterday looking for a Joanna. There is not and has never been a Joanna at this number. I told them that the first and second times they called. I did not answer the third time nor the fourth nor the fifth. They called approximately every hour from 8:30 in the morning until 9:00 pm. I know they use phone bots, but if you call during the weekday and no one answers, wouldn't you think it is safe to assume the party you are trying to reach is at work? The jerkoff I talked to the second time pretty much called me a liar when I said there was not and never has been a person by that name at this number. I pointed out I have had the same phone number for 20 years. He asked me for a number to reach Joanna. I told him again I don't know Joanna. He started yelling that I need to tell her to call him at...I hung up. If they call again today I am calling the State AG. BTW, If you are Joanna Wilson -- pay your bills or do not give my number.
I am not sure what is on tap for today. I may go see the Harry Potter movie this afternoon, if I can get the boy to be seen in public with me. I have some minor drywall repair to do. I probably will not get that. The hole has been there since last spring when the toilet paper holder tore out of the wall. Another
Have a good Saturday.
December 10, 2010
Friday Five
This week is a list of five firsts.
1. What was your first car?
1966 Chevy Pickup w/ a "three on the tree" manual transmission
2. Who was your first kiss?
Joni
3. What was the first concert you attended?
The Doobie Brothers
4. What was your favorite Saturday morning cartoon?
Bugs Bunny or Jonny Quest
5. What was your Kindergarten teacher's name (or earliest teacher you can remember)?
Mrs. Lewis? I know I had Mrs. Delacroix in first grade.
How about you?
Come on play along. Failure to play means orphans will go hungry. Without you answering there will be no white Christmas. Kittens will cry and baby seals will die. Please put your answers in the comments. If you really loved me you would. It hurts me when you do not play along. Do it for the little babies in Haiti. Do it for the old people of Tibet. Do it for America!
There is a pre-Christmas gift for you, just for playing along!
1. What was your first car?
1966 Chevy Pickup w/ a "three on the tree" manual transmission
2. Who was your first kiss?
Joni
3. What was the first concert you attended?
The Doobie Brothers
4. What was your favorite Saturday morning cartoon?
Bugs Bunny or Jonny Quest
5. What was your Kindergarten teacher's name (or earliest teacher you can remember)?
Mrs. Lewis? I know I had Mrs. Delacroix in first grade.
How about you?
Come on play along. Failure to play means orphans will go hungry. Without you answering there will be no white Christmas. Kittens will cry and baby seals will die. Please put your answers in the comments. If you really loved me you would. It hurts me when you do not play along. Do it for the little babies in Haiti. Do it for the old people of Tibet. Do it for America!
There is a pre-Christmas gift for you, just for playing along!
December 9, 2010
Pushing the limits of the Second Amendment
The local paper, when it arrives, is always a source of humor and amusement. I suspect the best and brightest journalism students do not choose to work at a small daily paper in the Hoosier hinterlands.
A caption in today's fishwrap is the best ever, though:
A caption in today's fishwrap is the best ever, though:
Students work on finishing the music and editing for their movie trailer for their book — which is about animals that carry guns — in class Wednesday at Triton Central High School. (The animals in question were stuffed.) The group members said they were close to done and would be prepared for Friday's film festival. [emphasis mine} sourceYou can read the whole article and see the caption here . Some liberal nutcases want animals to have the right to sue in court. Maybe we can extend Second Amendment Rights to animals as well. Then local students will not have to use stuffed animals in their films. A film about pigs shooting Islamic terrorists just might be a hit...wouldn't that make the 'spodytards furious?
December 8, 2010
Knowing a second language could come in handy
I was in suburban Chicago yesterday. I started my day at McDonald's for breakfast. When I entered the store a lady in what I would guess was her late fifties had just completed her order and received her food. A nice Hispanic gentleman, who based on his dress was a manager of some type, took my order in perfect, accent free English. While we were all waiting on my Sausage McMuffin to be prepared the manger-type was talking to another Manager. She also spoke perfect English.
The older lady who got her food as I entered came up to the counter. She had coffee all over her business suit and coat. She loudly demanded to see the manager. Coffee-lady claimed the lid was not on her coffee properly and wanted the McDonald's to pay her dry cleaning bill. She was angry and flustered and kept ranting about an important meeting and how she had to go home and change.
Coffee-lady again asked the young manger who was waiting on me to see the manager. He finally turned the the other manager, who was making coffee and pretending to not hear the ranting Coffee-lady. and spoke something in Spanish. The other manager turned and stared at Coffee-lady. Coffee lady was livid at this point. She kept saying she just wants a number so she can get her dry cleaning taken care of.
The McDonald's managers spoke to each other in Spanish, as if each was trying to translate Coffee-lady's rantings. Both turned again and stared at the Coffee-lady. Coffee-lady again asked for a manager. Female manager mumbled something in Spanish. Coffee-lady cursed and said she would just call corporate. She then stormed out of the McDonald's.
The female manager handed me my food and told me thanks and have a nice day in perfect English. As I walked away she turned and told an employee in the back to check the trash and dining room. Normal McDonald's business continued.
I guess being bi-lingual is a real advantage in customer service.
The older lady who got her food as I entered came up to the counter. She had coffee all over her business suit and coat. She loudly demanded to see the manager. Coffee-lady claimed the lid was not on her coffee properly and wanted the McDonald's to pay her dry cleaning bill. She was angry and flustered and kept ranting about an important meeting and how she had to go home and change.
Coffee-lady again asked the young manger who was waiting on me to see the manager. He finally turned the the other manager, who was making coffee and pretending to not hear the ranting Coffee-lady. and spoke something in Spanish. The other manager turned and stared at Coffee-lady. Coffee lady was livid at this point. She kept saying she just wants a number so she can get her dry cleaning taken care of.
The McDonald's managers spoke to each other in Spanish, as if each was trying to translate Coffee-lady's rantings. Both turned again and stared at the Coffee-lady. Coffee-lady again asked for a manager. Female manager mumbled something in Spanish. Coffee-lady cursed and said she would just call corporate. She then stormed out of the McDonald's.
The female manager handed me my food and told me thanks and have a nice day in perfect English. As I walked away she turned and told an employee in the back to check the trash and dining room. Normal McDonald's business continued.
I guess being bi-lingual is a real advantage in customer service.
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