Don't worry Afghanistan Terrorists, we will be gone soon. Unless you want to give up before we leave.

I did not serve in the military. What I know about guerrilla warfare and counter-insurgency I learned from watching John Wayne in The Green Berets and reading books by Richard Marchenko. But I was gifted with a little common sense.

If the Generals say we need more troops on the ground in Afghanistan, I am all for it. They know their business. But the nonsense about pulling out in 18 months is pure idiocy. It demonstrates a complete ignorance of human psychology, history, and war. Didn't the Clown-in-Chief even read the Cliff Notes version of Clausewitz (I read the whole thing)?

Let us look at it a different way. Say you are skinny kid with big ears and a funny name who just moved to the hood from Hawaii or Jakarta or who knows where. The local bully decides he is going to make you whipping boy. He declares he will smack you around every day for 18 days. You can put up with just about anything for 18 days, you can avoid him and hide at least half the time. What makes The Obama think they Taliban and other assorted evil ragheads won't bide their time in Pakistan, or the mountains of Wiziristan until we get tired of the game, or 18 months passes and go home? In chorus now -- that is what they will do.

Maybe you are the terrified high school girl alone in the spooky house. You keep finding blood dripping on the walls. The electricity goes out. You are terrified. The phone rings. "hello" you say. You hear deep breathing and a sinister laugh. "I am going to kill you" a deep raspy voice whispers in the phone. "But I have to leave in 18 minutes."

You cannot put a timetable on war. You fight until you win. You do everything in your power to win (The idiotic rules of engagement are another matter). It is a good thing the Powers In Charge did not put a three year time-table on WWII, Hitler would have hit us hard in the Ardennes (Battle of the Bulge) and we would have taken our ball and gone home. Maybe someone should brief the Commie bastards about Vietnam. At least someone should give Obama a copy of Stephen Coonts' Flight of the Intruder.

With all of the cries about GW's incompetence, he is starting to look sharp beside this guy. Hell, Carter is starting to look good.

And I will tell you another thing...

Gotdamn Obama is going to pre-empt Charlie F-ing Brown tonight.

I ain't happy about it.

Afghanistan is important. So is the economy. I guess we need to discuss health care, since every time The Obama opens his mouth about health care the public hates the idea even more.

But we are talking about missing the Charlie Brown Christmas Special. You know, where the kid in the upper right corner of the dance party in the school auditorium dances so cool. Where Linus tells us the true meaning of Christmas. Remember Pig Pen and Schroeder and the puny Christmas tree? That Charlie Brown?

Thanks for making my life even more miserable, Mr. President.

Urgent update

I was hungry this morning. I threw together some tuna salad and slapped a bit on some white bread. I washed it down with a root beer. Other than those boring and mundane details, I have nothing.

h/t otter

Quick hit Monday

In NFL news, if the Colts were not already in the Houston Texan's heads, another come-from-behind victory by Indianapolis yesterday will make the Texans feel there is nothing they can do to beat Indianapolis.

You may love the Colts or hate them, but is there any lead that is safe at halftime against Manning and Company?

A bad offensive line, a defense that scares no one, coupled with many bad decisions at the QB position equal a really bad Bears team.

Tonight we will see just how good the 'Ain'ts really are. So far this season, the NFC has been poor competition when matched with teams from the AFC.

Samedi

Good morning readers. I hope this crisp fall morning finds your bellies full and your wallets lighter. I got both of the wife's Christmas trees up yesterday and the boy and I finished decorating outside by putting a swirl of lights around the weird fruit tree.

The wife did something she has never done before; braved the Black Friday morning crowds. She was after a big-ticket item at WalMart. She got there around 4 in the am and still missed out. She learned her lesson. She found the same item (different brand) elsewhere for 50 bucks more Friday evening. She told me there were people running for the opportunity to stand in line to get $2 towels. They are usually $3. Yes, that is a big savings, but how many towels are you going to buy? Is it worth it to get up in the middle of the night to save a Hamilton? I do not get it. Many years ago I braved the midnight lines and pushed and shoved to get my boy the coveted Power Rangers toys he wanted. The only reason the wife even made the attempt was the savings were so large.

The wife told me that the store had a 50 inch LCD flatscreen TV for $500. I told her if she loved me she would have skipped buying stuff for everyone else on her list this year and snagged me one of those. Once again, we had a difference in opinion. I tell you that woman will not see reason.

It is supposed to warm up into the upper 50s today. Maybe I will be able to get outside and enjoy a cigar this afternoon. I bet a certain female in this house has a list of projects for me to work on instead. Are there any bets on who gets their way?

Friday Covers

In honor of Black Friday and opening day of the Christmas shopping season, we will look at the classic tune Money. Most of us of acertain age associate the song with the Aninal House Soundtrack:



The Beatles did a version:




Here is a live version from The Doors:



Finally, here is the Barrett Strong original:



Money, I need Money. I bet you do too.

Happy Turkey Day

Happy Thanksgiving. Thanks to those of you who take time out of their day to visit this old blog. You have no idea what your visits and comments mean to me. Thank you.

Now, what are you doing surfing the interwebz? Go eat!

rambling on

It is day three without coffee. that makes four out of the last five days. I am feeling queasy and a bit mean. It is a good thing I work alone.

What? You with your hand up, what is your question? Oh, no reason. It just did not sound good when I woke up.

I did scramble some eggs about an hour ago. i threw in a little cheese to get all melty at the end. I had a tall glass of milk too.

I am not ready for Thanksgiving. I have to make some desserts for the various meals we will be attending. I have to make something for my oldest son to take to a gathering on Friday. Who expects a college kid to bring food? He can't cook. I will make up something on Thursday before we head off to the families that he can take on Friday. Sometimes I wonder about people. I could tell him to just go pick up a pie at the store.

I am trying hard to wind down the work week early today. So far the phone has not cooperated.

Back Home Again

Around 200 years ago the first of my ancestors moved into North Central Indiana. They found a heavily forested land -- flat with rich black soil. They cleared the trees and worked the land.

Today, a vast majority of the Hoosierboy clan still lives in the area. I am not sure where exactly, but the original homestead was likely within ten miles of where I took this picture Monday.

Not only can you see the filthy dash of my sporty Taurus, but you can see that Kansas has nothing on Central Indiana when it comes to a view. If you look close you can see some massive grain elevators in the distance. Yep, Cappy, you can store a lot grain in those babies.

Dear Evan Bayh

You have been a fixture of Indiana politics for years. As Governor of Indiana you administered from a fairly conservative position, as you know Hoosiers are a conservative people. You are now in your 11th year as a Senator.

To date, your voting record is liberal. Somewhere along the line you forgot your conservative values. You seem to think you are in Washington to represent the Democrat Party. You could not be more wrong.

With an election looming next year you are suddenly a moderate. Perhaps you remembered that your father was booted out of his Senate seat when he forgot to represent the people. Good old Birch thought he was a Senator-for-life until Danny-boy Quayle, of all people, defeated him. Senator Bayh, do not be so sure the same fate does not await you next fall.

It is pretty convenient that your local office and Washington office phone lines are always busy. Somehow, I do not think the switchboard is overloaded with calls encouraging you to vote for the Healthcare bill or Cap and Trade.

Come on Evan, have the courage to vote for the people of Indiana, not the Democrat Party. Many of us are tested at one moment in our lives. Our courage is measured, our mettle tested. This is your moment. Just vote no.

It has been said that the US Senate is a chamber of 100 would-be Presidents. You have never disguised your ambition. You have always lacked the national attention to get that brass ring. Standing for what is right will get you the fame and exposure you crave. Who knows? I do know this, losing your Senate seat by toeing the Party line will not get you elected to a higher office.

Your Friend,

Hoosierboy.

I am pissed too

What he said at this link. Go ahead and read it here.

Tell either of us where he is wrong. Last chance to click the link

I took great pains to present a logical (my mistake) argument that this whole health care bullshit is un-Constitutional. I was promised a rebuttal, instead I got the same old name calling. I am not surprised, logic trumps emotion every time.

Monday Musings

I hope you had a good weekend. I did. We went and saw that new Sandra Bullock flick on Friday -- The Blind Side. Go see it, it rates a big Hoosierboy thumbs up.

Saturday we went to some friends house to play some cards and eat some pizza. Sunday we hung Christmas lights. It was a nice day, little wind and warm for late November (mid- fifties) and sunny. The boy helped me put up the lights and the wife arranged the wreaths etc. I missed watching the Colts game, but I heard snippets on the radio while I was working outside.

Last year, when I went to put up my lights almost every strand of the outside lights failed to work. I am sure you remember that minutiae, since a truly devoted fan reads the archives at least every month, and I know most of you keep a log of my activities in an effort to be more like me. I get it. Anyway I made the trek to WalMart to grab new lights and remembering the lessons of Boy Scouts, I bought a few extra boxes (be, be , be prepared is the motto of the Boy Scout, come on sing along). Of course, as often happens three strings did not work properly. You spend good money to buy Chinese electronics and 30% of the products are bad. Go figure.

Since I have a hard and fast rule about turning on my Christmas lights before Thanksgiving, you will have to wait for a picture a few days. I know... Plus the wife now thinks I need to put lights on the cherry/crab apple (not sure which -- the fruit is inedible), so you want to wait to see the whole thing when it is finished.

Happy Monday.

Weekend Funny

Weekend Funny

Friday Covers

Lets jump into the the wayback machine to the 1980's: big hair, ankle warmers and this:


I think we all remember Pat Benatar's more popular version:


Bring me home Mr. Turtle...

America needs Obamacare like Nancy Pelosi needs a Halloween mask.

Q: Have you heard about McDonalds new Obama Value Meal?

A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.

Q: What's the difference between Obama's cabinet and a penitentiary?

A: One is filled with tax evaders, blackmailers and threats to society. The other is for housing prisoners.

If Pelosi, Reid, Kerry and Obama were on a boat in the middle of the ocean and it sank, who would be saved? .....
America!

If Nancy Pelosi has her face lifted one more time she'll have a beard!



Check out this post from my man MTS. It is hilarious.

Healthcare -- the debate goes on.

Below is a long counterpoint I have offered in what I believe is a very good dialogue over at Cosmic Navel Lint. I post it here only because my comment is so lengthy. Please read this post and the comments, then this post. I know you do not like to click links, but I think you will find the arguments interesting.

Before I begin my counterpoint, I want to be clear that I do believe there are issues in our current healthcare system. I do believe we need some reform. Where we disagree is what shape that reform should take.

To Erin’s example, people sometimes do not get the treatment they need. It happens, even though it shouldn’t. If the Doctor in question was a true practitioner of his Oath, he would have helped the patient. Again, while not the best solution, the emergency room was available.

To your point regarding the Harvard study. The report acknowledges that part of the results could be that the hospitals and care were unequal, that it may have little or nothing to do with the availability of insurance:

The hospitals that treat them also could have fewer resources.

"Those hospitals tend to be financially strapped, not have the same level of staffing, not have the same level of surgeons and testing and equipment,""That also is likely a major contributor."

Again, it should not be that way. If we spent ½ of the proposed spending to provide insurance for all on upgrading the healthcare infrastructure those result would very well change.

You discuss in detail the denial of coverage by HMOs. You might be aware that HMOs were the brainchild of Ted Kennedy and designed as the 1970s version of reducing the cost of health care in the US. We also have numerous examples of those who are covered under Government Healthcare in Briton, France, and Canada who come to the US for care because they are denied coverage, or the wait times are too long. So let is not pretend those issues will disappear under the current proposals. For those of you who think care will improve under a Government plan, look at the Breast Cancer screening recommendations issued by the Government this weekend. The report allows that by changing screening recommendations 1 in 1.900 women will develop untreated breast cancer. However you do the math, that equals anywhere from 30,000 to 50,000 American women per year. But we save a few bucks! The reality is every system will have cracks and denial of service. Let us not pretend otherwise.

As far as the numbers of uninsured, that 40 million number is not even accepted by the White House any more. There are some, like Brook that fall into the category that needs to be addressed. I have been in the same situation. When out of work I could not afford the COBRA payments. It is tough to wake every day praying that your kids do not get sick. I think there is a way to help those people. I have stated so at my site many tomes. I have no issue with vouchers or even a plan to help those who have pre-existing conditions or portability issues etc. I just do not think we need to throw out the baby with the bath water.

We agree the cost of healthcare is too high. You maintain it is because of the HMO/Insurance companies. I ask you, which is more efficient, a company beholden to stockholders and owners or a Government entity with no reason to hold down costs? If we were to open the health care insurance industry to intrastate competition costs would go down. We have evidence in the reduction of premiums when the auto insurance industry was deregulated. If we can strip the onerous requirements applied by the states we could also reduce the costs. For example New Jersey insists all insurance plans cover the cost of hair transplants. I should not be forced to have that coverage if I do not want it. I should not be forced to pay for that coverage just because New Jersey says I should (Yes I know this will be contradicted later, but I am demonstrating how costs could be reduced with out the Government providing health care).

I completely disagree with your Ford Pinto example. If you remember as the reports of exploding Pintos hit the news, sales of the vehicle plummeted. In fact, even after the redesign Ford was forced to abandon the platform. The free market would have accomplished the same as Federal regulations. Do you really think the engineers at Ford purposely designed a dangerous car? Do you believe all corporations are inherently evil? I have more faith in my fellow man. Yes, the examples of corporate greed are legion, but usually a good person will step in and blow the whistle. Governments are also capable of unspeakable evil – we can find examples from Hitler’s Germany to the Tuskegee Airmen to Agent Orange.

You believe the Constitution is an outdated Georgian artifact. I see it as a reflection of true genius. It contains the means to change the Supreme Law of the land. It is adaptable to modern times. I challenge you to show me one case where it is not applicable to today’s society. I, and a majority of Americans (see any number of polls that shows Americans are primarily conservative) believe in a limited Federal Government. You might argue that such a form of Government does not allow for universal health care (And by the way, quoting Keynes is not a good way to convince me; his economics caused the Great Depression to extend by many years). You are right; the founders did not envision women voting etc. But they planned for it with Article V. I stick to my original point; the purpose of the Constitution was a Federal Government with limited powers. You cannot dispute that fact. The 9th and 10th Amendments leave such issues as healthcare to the States. You may not like that Government Design, but you can always create a new Constitutional Convention, or propose and ratify an Amendment granting such powers to the Federal Government. Again, you have not shown where my Constitutional argument falls short, other than “well, Hoose, it shouldn’t be that way”. If you can show me where the Constitution is antiquated and does not fit with today's World, please show me. The fact it does not allow for a strong Federal Government only proves my point -- that was its intention.

I am unclear how another individual’s inability to buy insurance is reason enough to force me to pay for my own insurance should I not want it. You might argue that we are forced to buy auto insurance. I would offer these counter arguments:

1. We are forced to cover the “other guy”, not ourselves or our own vehicle.
2. Driving is a privilege, not a right
3. The requirement for auto insurance and the levels of coverage are State mandates, not Federal mandates. If the individual States want to create a universal healthcare system, I have no issues. In fact, several states have such a plan (Massachusetts, Tennessee, etc.)

Let us follow your logic. You cannot deny that basic housing and food is even more important than health care. Why is there no cry for universal basics of life provision? Sure, I wish everyone on earth had a nice house in the suburbs, three square meals a day, a big screen TV and chocolate cake on their birthday. Wouldn’t that be grand? But nowhere is there a Universal Right to take forcefully what is mine and give it to someone else.

Life is not fair. Some are born stronger, faster, smarter, and healthier. By weakening the strong, slowing the speedy we do not advance the human race. By offering an equal opportunity to succeed to best of our abilities we open the World to freedom, to prosperity, to happiness. Will some fall short of these lofty goals, sadly yes? Should we offer a hand up when our fellow man see hard times? Most Americans would agree. But there is a big difference between a hand up and hand out.

The United States has spent trillions of dollars since LBJ declared his war on poverty. More than forty years later exactly the same percentages of Americans live below the poverty level. The only difference is now we have generations living on welfare, the family structure is in disarray and living conditions for many are worse than they were in 1966. Is that a shame? Absolutely. Do I have the answers? No. But I do think it is clear that big government solutions are not the answer. As I have asked many times in the past, besides the basic duties outlined in the Constitution (defense, interstate commerce, printing currency, etc.) is there anything the Government does better than the private sector? No one has yet given me an answer.

We need a laugh on a rainy day

The hospital called the cell to inform him that his wife had been
involved in an accident. The man told the doctor to inform his wife
where he was and that he'd be
there as soon as possible. As he hung up he realized he was leaving what
was shaping up to be his best ever round of golf.

He decided to get in a couple of more holes before heading to the
hospital. He ended up playing all eighteen, finishing his round shooting
a personal best 61, shattering the club record by five strokes and
beating his previous best game by more than 10. He was jubilant....

Then he remembered his wife. Feeling guilty he dashed to the hospital.
He saw the doctor in the corridor and asked about his wife's condition.

The doctor glared at him and shouted, "You went ahead and finished your
round of golf didn't you!" "I hope you're proud of yourself!"

"While you were out for the past four hours enjoying yourself at the
country club your wife has been languishing in the ICU!" "It's just as
well you went ahead and finished that round because it will be more than
likely your last! For the rest of her life she will require round the
clock care and you will be her care giver! She will need IV's; you will
have to change her colostomy bag every 3 hours; she will have to be
spoon fed 3 times a day and don't forget the hygiene care."

The man was feeling so guilty he broke down and sobbed..

The doctor snickered and said, "I'm just messing with you. She's dead.
What'd you shoot?"

Monday Grab Bag

Did you sty up and watch Sunday Night Football last night? Wow. What other coach in the world would go for it on fourth and two at you own 27 yard line? the football gods hate arrogance and the evil Patriots paid the price.

Remember when I posted about my daughter proudly buying her first car a few months back. She loves her little Jetta. She cleans it every week and will not even eat in the car.

Yesterday an 85 year old man pulled right into the side of her car. She said she was on a busy road and she was one of many cars and he just drove into her. She is spitting mad. Luckily she is not hurt. She said she sat there and called the cops, some witnesses came over to see if she was Ok. The old man just sat in his car. She finally went over and tapped on his window. After she got him to roll it down she said "hey you just hit me". He said "where did you come from?"

Her car had to be towed. He hit hard enough to push her across the other lane and into a parking lot. I have long maintained you should not be allowed to drive until you are 18, and that after 70 you should be tested every two years.

In other boring news you do not care about, I raked the leaves Saturday, then I went with the wife to buy a few Christmas gifts. The holidays will be light this year, and maybe we can avoid going at the last minute like we usually do.

Help me Rhonda

Some of you think I resemble Forrest Gump -- not a smart man. So could some of you liberal-IloveObama-types explain something for me?

How is it possible, or even make sense, to offer enemy combatants a trial in US Courts (New York!)? Why are we offering foreign nationals, who have waged war and committed terrorist acts against our Nation, the protections of the US Constitution? These terrorists are not even covered under the rules of the Geneva Conventions (legally we could have executed them on the spot).

Here is another 'splain this Lucy observation I made earlier this week. Nealy every 'conservative' leaning blog I visited had a comment or post dedicated to Veteran's Day. Check out the liberal blogs. Did any of them even mention the Holiday? Did you notice? Draw your own conclusions.

Weekend Funny

How Pumpkin Pie is made

Free Advice Friday

On occasion I like to go slumming and read liberal blogs. I never cease to be amazed at some of the garbage they spew. Lately, Some of them have been fixated on Fox News. For people who generally take a condescending, I am so much smarter than you tone, these people are either idiots, ignorant, or outright dissemblers of truth.

let me try to set you straight, oh narrow minded ones ( and let me interject that it is not necessary for your to parrot the White House and Daily Kos in every post -- think for yourselves). I will type this slowly so you can follow me. There is news and there is opinion. News is facts. Opinion is commentary and interpretation of those facts.

The front page of your local paper is usually news. The page called Editorials or Opinion is not news. Shows where people of various political stripes offer their interpretation of the events of the day are opinion shows. They are not news reports.

Hannity is opinion. beck is opinion. In the same vein Rush, and Olbermann are both opinion shows. Maddow and Matthews are not news. O'Reilly is not news and neither are the Sunday shows.

If you condemn Fox as not being a news network you should also refuse to read your local paper, it also has opinions. If you are anything but raving lunatics you would be up in arms at MSNBC, the liberal version of Fox -- when it comes to its opinion shows.

You are likely to point out that on occasion the anchors of the news portion of Fox show their bias. yes they do. I suggest you spend some time looking into the actions, words and deeds of the "mainstream media". You remember "Fake but accurate" Dan Rather. Cronkite's lies regarding Tet, blowing up the trucks when they did not roll on 20/20, etc., etc., etc...

Take a little advice from the old Hoosierboy fellas. Get off that high horse, it shows your ass.

Friday Covers

This week we are are going to again look at a Beatles song and some interesting covers.



Here is Evan Rachel Wood doing a beautiful version from the Across the Universe Soundtrack:


CSN put some terrific harmonies into their version:


You have to give it to the original, but these other versions also reflect the beauty of the ballad from the White Album.

A pot of chili, the hand of God, and me

Part One. I made a pot of chili Monday night. I am not fond of the stuff (beans), but the wife loves it. She has a serious case of acid reflux or maybe even an ulcer. If she eats spicy foods she is up vomiting all night. She is a stubborn mule and will not go to the doctor. I made the chili deliberately mild, to the point she complained I did not put in enough spice.

Part Two. Our alarm clock is an old digital model we have had for at least twenty years. It has never failed. It has two alarm settings. Alarm 1 I never change, that is the time I get up. I set alarm 2 for unusual needs, like a two hour delay of school etc.

Part Three. I get up every morning at 6:14 am to wake the boy for school. I wake the wife at 6:50 so she can get ready for work. Often I go back to sleep after I get her up for a quick half-hour power nap before I start my long commute to the spare bedroom to work.

Part Four. In spite of the mildness of the chili, the wife was up sick all night. When she was not in the bathroom, she was tossing and turning and keeping me awake. When the alarm went off Tuesday morning, I was tired and grumpy. I had stayed up late Sunday night, then got very little sleep Monday night. I woke the boy. When I woke the wife I was looking forward to a little make-up sleep. She said she did not know if she was going to work since she still did not feel good. She did not get up. I woke he again about five minutes later. She said again she did not know if she was getting up or not. So I ask myself, am I supposed to keep waking her or not? Who knows? She has to call in if she is not going. I want to go back to bed, but I can't until she makes up her mind.

I wake her a third time. Again I ask if she is getting up. again no definite answer. I tell her to go, don't go, just take a decision. I tell her I am tired of waking her. This pisses her off. She decides she is not working and goes back to bed.

I power nap on the couch for about 20 minutes. I have to leave for Michiana later Tuesday morning. She mentions she set the alarm and is going in 1/2 day. She is still mad at me because I was irritated at her indecision. Whatever.

Part Five. I woke with a start Wednesday morning. It is 6:16, two minutes after the alarm is supposed to go off. WTF? I check the alarm, yes it is on. I check the time -- the wife had changed Alarm 1! It is a miracle I am awake. I get up the boy. When it is time to wake the wife I tell her it was the hand of God who woke me up in time this morning. I am in a good mood because in spite of a potential disaster I woke on time. I ask her why she changed the main alarm? She said it was closer to her. I point out the buttons to set Alarm 1 and Alarm 2 are less than 1/2 inch apart. She points out I should have known she would change Alarm 1, and it is my fault we nearly overslept.

A smart guy would have dropped it. You may have noticed if you read here much that I have a need to prove I am right at times -- like when I am.

I told her we NEVER have changed Alarm 1 once it is set. She said she is tired of me being an asshole every morning.

I now double check the time is correct on the alarm clock every night before I go to sleep.

That is how a pot of chili and the hand of God combined to put me into the doghouse.

Thank You

Thank you to all current members of the Military and veterans for your sacrifices so I can enjoy the freedoms of America.










In Flanders Fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

By: Lieutenant Colonel John McCrae, MD (1872-1918)
Canadian Army

Today's stupidest comment

We all have our opinions on the Second Amendment.

Some opinions are so over the top I am not sure how to comment:

e. My heart goes out to the victims of the Fort Hood and Orlando shootings and their loved ones. Senseless, senseless incidents. I will not go quietly into the night on this one. America needs to do something about idiots with handguns. How many more Fort Hoods and Orlandos do there have to be before our political leaders have the guts to severely restrict access to murderous weapons?

Read more: http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2009/writers/peter_king/11/08/mmqb/4.html#ixzz0WOTF9YOd

There is no one who speaks better about football than Peter King. He should stick to sports. Even the most anti-gun kook can't believe that banning guns on a military base makes sense.

Monday's rant

Mainstream Muslims(if there is such an animal) have gone to great pains to tell us the suicide bombers and terrorists and Taliban-type followers of the teachings of Mohamed do not represent the true nature of Islam. Every time a Muslim male between the ages of 18 and 40 decides, in the name of Allah, to blow a pizza parlor or a disco, to fly planes into a building, to bomb an Embassy or hotel, to put an explosive into an airliner or bus or train station, to drive a TNT-loaded speedboat into a Navy ship, to attack a school, etc., etc., etc., we are told that they do not represent Islam. Yet every time one of these Islamic-fascists, who we are told are not really Muslims, does a depraved act of barbarous terrorism, we see thousands of what I guess are non-true-adherents cheering and partying in the streets?

Why is it when a Muslim soldier rolls a grenade into a tent, or murders a baker's dozen (and wounds 30 more) we are offered the excuse of he did not want to fight Muslims. We are told that this is not a war against Islam. Our Government has told us that repeatedly. We are told that we are at war against terrorist organizations and regimes who want to do us harm. That these people are all followers of Islam is a tragic coincidence. In mosques around the country we are assured that Islam is not at war with the culture of the West. If this is so, then why is it always offered as a lame excuse that "he did not want to kill other Muslims"?

In previous wars Catholics did not declare they could not fight Germans or Italian Catholics and shoot up their fellow soldiers. Americans with Italian and German heritage felt no qualms about shouldering an M1 and heading for the shores of France or Italy. Yet for some reason we are supposed to accept that for a certain segment of the population it is OK to take Uncle Sam's dollar and decide later who you want ot fight. That it is acceptable to kill as many people as possible who may not agree with your decision. Somehow we have come to a position in this society where we can have post traumatic stress disorder before we even get the stress. Should we call this pre-traumatic stress disorder?

Here is what I think, there are people who put their religion first. Quakers feel strongly about the Ten Commandments and do not enter the military. Many Americans put their religion first. But it is unacceptable to put your religion first if you join the military. In today's armed forces the brave men and women who serve do so voluntarily. There is no draft. When Major Hasan took the oath to protect America from all enemies, both Foreign and Domestic, that oath did not say "unless they are Muslim".

Maybe it is time we faced facts and admitted the truth. There is no compromise between those of us who love freedom and those who believe in Shari'a Law. There is no compromise between those of us who love freedom and the teachings of goat herding pedophile from the 7th Century. Islam is at war with us, whether we like it or not. The sooner we face that unpleasant fact the better off we will be.

The Wobblies make a comback

Obama calls this guy one of his closest advisers. Do you think it is all hyperbole when some of us accuse this asshole and Obama of Marxist leanings?

Read about the phrase "Workers of the World unite" and its origins here.

Weekend Funny

The Obama Golf Czar has announced there is a possibility of MAJOR rule
changes to the game of golf, to take effect March 1, 2010, fulfilling the hopes of millions of duffers.

This is only a preview as the complete rule book is being rewritten now.
Here are a few basic changes:

Golfers with handicaps:
- below 10 will have their green fees increased by 35%.
- between 11 and 18 will see no increase in green fees.
- above 18 will get a check each time they play.

The dollar amount placed in bets will be as follows:
-for handicaps below 8, an additional $10.
-between 8 and 14, no additional amount.
-above 14, you will receive the total amount in the pot even if you do not play.
The term "gimme" will be changed to "entitlement" and will be used
as follows:
-handicaps below 8, no entitlements.
-handicaps from 8 to 14, entitlements for putter length putts.
-handicaps above 14, if your ball is on green, no need to putt, just pick it up.

These entitlements are intended to bring about fairness and, most importantly, equality in scoring.

In addition, a Player will be limited to a maximum of one birdie or six
pars in any given round. Any excess must be given to those fellow players
who have not yet scored a birdie or par. Only after all players have
received a birdie or par from the player actually making the birdie or par,
can that player begin to count his pars and birdies again.

The current USGA handicap system will be used for the above purposes,
but the term 'net score' will be available only for scoring those players with handicaps of 15 and above.

This is intended to 'redistribute' the success of winning by making
sure that in every competition the over-14 handicap players will post
only 'net score' against every other player's gross score.

These new Rules are intended to change the game of golf.
Golf must be about Fairness.
It should have nothing to do with Ability.

The truth hurts...

Today's earworm

I saw Old Henry Lee Summer more times than I can count. I can say without a doubt he is in the top two or three entertainers I have had the privilege to see. Henry had a one-hit wonder with this song. If you ever get a chance to hear his live version of Treat her Like a Lady, well,I can only offer that he makes The Cornelius Brothers sound like a bunch of hacks.

Henry has had his legal problems with drugs and alcohol lately, but in the day he was a hell of an entertainer.

As a bonus here is a performance from one of the First Farm Aid concerts:

Get over it

It occurred to me while posting a comment over at a liberal blog earlier that one of the biggest issues we face in this country is a complete ignorance of The Constitution.

Liberals (leftists)believe we should adopt a more socially-kind government. They see no reason why the Fed should not provide health care to those who need it, food to the hungry, or affordable housing. In a good and compassionate world, that would be the case. Scandinavia and much of Europe base their Government on just such a premise.

If we disregard whether that is the proper role of a Government, we still have a problem here in the US. The Founders deliberately designed a type of Government that prohibits a strong federal role. The powers of the Legislature are limited and clearly defined in Article 1, Section 8. The Founders believed the Federal Government was equal to the State Government, not superseding. To make that clear they adopted the 9th and 10th Amendments.

Some of you may not like that premise. You might believe it is the role of the Federal Government to look after the needs of the citizenry. The Founders thought of that too. There is a prescribed way to modify the Constitution to that effect.

If the people of Ohio want the State to provide universal Health Care, the State can implement it at any time. If I live in Ohio and do not want to pay for Health Care, I can move freely to any of the 49 other States. If I live in Kentucky and want free health care, I can move to Ohio, where the taxpayers agree that is their social burden and are glad to pay for it.

We may not like the way the Government is set up, but that is the way the Founders envisioned. Change The Constitution or get over it and work to get the changes you desire at the State and local level.

Yesterday is today's news

I think the Leftists in this country are in for a bit of hope and change in 2010.

Just remember I predicted this way more than a year ago.

What really happened in Copenhagen

Click to embiggen.


h/t Otter

The Boy Scouts taught me to eat well

A couple of decades ago when I was a snot-nose kid right out of college I volunteered as an Assistant Scoutmaster for a Boy Scout Troop. we were an active bunch, camping, hiking, or canoeing every month -- year round.

One Saturday in early summer we scheduled a hike to a farm in the country. The distance was about five miles or so (one way). The farmer promised us access to water. We could camp in a copse of trees and fish in his pond. We promised to clean up a family cemetery nearby in return.

We set the rules to teach the boys a bit about camping and hiking. They could go as individuals, pairs or as patrols. One patrol decided to pool together, the other two went as pairs and individuals. The Scoutmaster and I paired up to teach the boys how it should be done.

We set out early on a Saturday morning. It did not take long for the boys who were stuck carrying the two-man tents to start bitching. At the half-way halt there was much switching and repacking of the loads. Eventually we made it to the campsite, blisters, aching shoulders and all.

The boys dug into their packs and pulled out the peanut butter or bologna sandwiches packed by their Moms. Steve (the Scoutmaster) and I set about lunch with hardly a word between us. He started a fire and I pulled out my trusty coffee pot. I filled it with water and pulled out a bag of rice and a cloth bag of creole seasoning. As the water boiled I added the rice and seasoning. Steve began to slice up some smoked sausage. We each had a small aluminum skillet. It served as a cooking and eating utensil. Steve fried the sausage and then we added it to the cooked rice. I tossed in a few wild green onions we found nearby and we had an excellent lunch. By the time it was ready the boys were standing around our fire drooling. Lesson number 1 was learned.

We cleaned the cemetery and then the boys spent the late afternoon fishing. I pulled out a couple of steaks from my pack. They were frozen when we left that morning and they were nicely thawed in their foil pack and plastic Ziplock bag packaging. I threw a few potatoes under the ashes. Steve caught and skinned a catfish. He placed it in the foil from the steaks with some more of the green onions and some of the left-over seasoning. He put it on the edge of the fire as I cooked the steaks.

Most of the boys were eating Spam or beef stew from a can. A few caught fish, but had no way to cook it. Several had brought hot dogs to cook on a stick. One boy had purchased some dehydrated food from the camping store. Again the leaders set the stage for the way to eat on the trail. A pot of coffee finished the feast.

Steve and I put down some plastic and unrolled thin blankets (much lighter than a sleeping bag). We slept under the stars. Had it rained, the plastic could have been rolled into a tube tent or just pulled over the top of our bodies. No heavy tent and poles for us!

Breakfast was sliced and fried bacon, and a chopped up potato from the night before fried in bacon grease. We then scrambled a few eggs into a proper breakfast skillet. The trusty coffee pot again provided the needed caffeine. Some of the boys ate dry cereal. Some did bring instant hot chocolate to drink. Spam again was on the menu for some.

When we hiked back the boys agreed that canned goods are not only heavy, they do not taste as good as fresh meat. They learned that with just one or two cooking pots you can cook about anything. It never occurred to any of them that a coffee pot could be used as a pan.

Why am I boring you with this tale? I opened a can of beef stew for lunch. I can eat better. I just need to put in the effort.

I call that a bargin

The White House claims that 650,000 jobs were saved and created by the Stimulus Bill. Instead of calling The Obama a liar, I will accept this number at face value. The stimulus bill cost us taxpayers a whopping $787 billion -- before interest and long debt servicing costs. If my calculator works properly that equals about $1,210,000 per job created.

Not so fast says the White House. We have only spent $150 billion on job recovery. OK, if we needed these funds so badly our Representatives could not even take time to read the bill, why is the money not being spent (BTW, I told you so)? And if the money is not spent on job creation,, what are we spending it on? Anyway, again, I will take the Obamaites at their word. $1.5 billion divided by 650,000 jobs means it only cost Joe Taxpayer a measly $230,000 per job created and saved. I do not know how things are in your neck of the woods, but a $230,000 job is way above average around here.

Do you feel better knowing these same geniuses are going to make your health care cheaper? Has buyer's remorse set in yet?

Like Big Dick says, make sure you keep those Obama stickers on your car so we know whom to hold responsible.

A lesson re-learned

Boy, it sure pisses of liberals when you throw facts in their face.

That Damn Bush

We have experienced a long spate of below average temperatures the past few months. I am sure we can blame Bush.

I still have a cough from my spate of pneumonia a few weeks ago. I probably will need to go back to the doctor. I blame Bush.

One of the buyers I deal with on a regular basis is grossly incompetent. I blame Bush.

The Pacers look like they will suck again this year. I do not really care, but still, I blame Bush.

I have not had a raise in two years. I blame Bush.

I need new glasses, my eyesight is getting worse, of course it is Bush's fault.

Newt Gingrich is a tool. I blame Bush.

NASCAR has become boring, the COT is a joke. Bush must be responsible.

Peyton Manning did not throw a touchdown pass yesterday -- that damn Bush made him make those incompletions.

My car insurance is too high, all because Bush did not institute auto insurance reforms.

My Dental insurance is lousy -- fucking Bush.

My health Care insurance is good, but expensive. Why didn't Bush fix this while he was President?

My neighbor's tree died this fall. I am sure that is proof positive Bush did not care about the environment.

I blame Bush for everything in my life that is not rainbows and roses. I could work for the Obama Administration.

Today's Earworm

A Weekend Editorial

Here I am, up bright and early on a Sunday morning. It is time for my semi-annual post regarding the ridiculous requirement to change my clocks in an effort to save, or in the case of the fall, not to save daylight. Of course we do not really save daylight by moving our clocks forward and back. We only change the time of day we burn our lights. Do we want it dark when we get up or light longer in the evening?

If we used real common sense, and did not legislate on the basis of more time to play golf of a July night, we would reverse the inane practice. During the short days of winter, we will get up for work and send the kiddies to the bus stop in the dark anyway. As it is now designated, we get the added bonus of coming home in the dark, or near dark, too. If we moved our clocks ahead in the fall, at least we could see the sun in the evening as we huddle over the grill cooking hamburgers on a January night.

For most of my life we never changed the clocks here in the heart of Hoosierland. That worked just fine for me. For the next several days, when I am sleepy at 11:00 pm, and wake at 5:00 am, I am going to be a bit grumpy. Consider this fair warning.

Help me Rhonda

Seriously, if the goal is to insure that small percentage of Americans who do not currently have insurance and can not afford it, wouldn't it be much simpler and far, far, far cheaper to just develop a Medicaide-type or food stamp-type program to give those people a hand up until they can get their own insurance? I have to think we can insure 12 million people (all that are going to be helped by the monstrosity winding its way through Congress) for much less than ONE TRILLION dollars. Look at that again folks:

$1,000,000,000,000. That is twelve zeros. Do the math, there are about 350,000,000 people in this country. That is around $2,857 for every man, woman, and child. I could get some mighty fine insurance for the $14,000 my family will be burdened with in future taxes -- not counting the interest on the debt. Can you liberal types explain again how the Government can run health care more efficiently?

I ask again, besides the core requirements as outlined in the Constitution (for example - Defense), is there a SINGLE thing the Government does better, cheaper and more efficiently than the private sector?

Friday Covers

Here is an interesting cover by Yes. Yes put this on their first album. I was hoping to find a video of the BBC live performance from 1969, it rocks a bit harder than this "Old Guy" version of Yes. In the original, Buford pounds the drums mercilessly and Peter Banks plays a powerful guitar. This version will have to work.



This version is closer to the original BBC recording with other Beatles riffs tossed into the guitar solos:

Waiting

I am sitting here in my favorite airport - Douglas Int'l in Charlotte. All airports suck, but this one sucks less than most.

I have a couple of hours to kill before my flight home. I thought I would post a quick word from my phone. Most people do not look too attractive when they eat. What is so hard to understand about "walk left, stand right" when you are on a moving sidewalk? Why do airports feel the need to gouge you on food and drinks? We are a captive audience and it is a pathetic practice.

I am not the physical specimen you Imagine, but there is no excuse to weigh 300 or 400 lbs. If you need two seatbelt extensions you have a problem.

If your bag will not fit in the overhead, pushing harder will not make your bag smaller, nor the opening bigger.

I miss the chicks in tight low cut shirts. Short skirts and boots are a suitable substitute.

I tried to find a certain Andrew Jackson museum yesterday. I was unable to find it. My wife asked why I did not stop and ask directions. Can you imagine?

I hope none of you caught that pathetic post I had up for a while last night. Beer and blogging don't mix.

TGIF

Sweet Dreams

Joe Lieberman, you are my hero. Now it is time for Evan Bayh to step up.

I rarely dream, but the last few weeks I have had repeated dreams about food. The kind that seem to last all night. Take last night for example. I dreamed I bought a large tenderloin to make breaded tenderloin. I sliced the loin thinly and was just ready to pound out the cuts when I "discovered" the tenderloin was a beef tenderloin, not a pork tenderloin. I was in a panic on what to do. I woke, padded to the bathroom. I got a drink, and went back to my fine king
-sized bed at the Hilton Garden Inn. I dreamed about the damn beef tenderloin screw-up again. I kept waking and dreaming about how to save the expensive beef tenderloin I had cut into thin slices.

Current and former psych majors step up and help me here.

BOHICA

Where to start? The Government is going to take over your health care. I can only offer the Cassandra-esque warning: be careful for what you wish. I could ask for the Constitutional authority for this take-over, but those who support the notion either have no understanding of our Constitution or do not care. I could point out the Democrat lie regarding the profits of the health insurers, but again supporters of this leftist take-over do not care.

I could ask under what Constitutional authority does the Government decide the pay of working Americans? See above. Congress is concerned about Executive pay and "Golden Parachutes", but why does no one question the healthcare and full pay for life your elected representatives voted themselves?

The Republican Party will get no more donations from me. I will support Conservative-minded candidates. If Snow and other RINOs continue to receive even one dollar of NRP funds, the party is dead to me. It has always been so, but with emphasis I tell you Republican Party. my politics is conservatism first, party way down the list.

The time is coming when we will pay for the out-of-control Government. We will pay in tax increases. We will pay in higher gasoline. We will pay in inflation and lower earning power. The Democrats will cry the answer is more government, and the sheep will bleat and go along.

I ask you voters of Obama and Democrats, how will you explain to your children and grandchildren what you have done to their country?

Windfall, or not

The wife had me bring in an old antique washstand from the garage this weekend. She wants to use it to store bills and papers and whatnot. In a previous life she used it store bills and papers and whatnot, so it was full of important stuff like extra school pictures, 20 year-old tax forms, the papers from when we bought our first home in 1986 and when we sold said house in 1989. You get the idea.

In the bottom drawer, in a plain brown envelope she found some old shares of stock she was given when the bank she worked for was sold. She was given additional stock when THAT bank was sold. Since that time the bank has merged at least two more times. She may have some valuable stock. Or not. As there only about 8 shares total we are not talking much money, but free money is free money. There is only upside. Since we did not know we had said shares, if their value is zero, we did not lose anything. If they have some value, we only gain.

I guess it was worth carting in the old piece of furniture after all. Now I have to figure out how to determine if the shares are worth anything.

Gun Control

Clickee makee bigee

h/t Otter

On second thought

I think I will take today off from the internet.

This is my life

I visited a customer this week who is having trouble with my widgets. They are getting reports of field failures. My customer sent some failed product back for evaluation and the widgets failed for lack of lubrication. Most of you understand that metal on metal without lube is a short-lived situation.

My customer admits they were not assembling and lubricating the widgets according to recommended practice. Let me make this clear -- the widgets are failing because the manufacturer assembled them wrong. Now the end user is very concerned about buying products with my widgets. We will have to undergo an audit at our plant and several end user visits to convince the end user we are a quality widget. It will not matter because it is our widgets that keep failing, while our competitor does not when they replace my product in the field.

The competitor product does not fail because the end user follows proper procedures when he reinstalls the competitor's widgets.

I am likely going to lose a significant amount of business because the end user is roughly 40% of my customer's customer base. My customer will not admit to the end user they have no idea how to assemble their product. If I tell the end user my customer is an idiot, I will lose the business.

My company is going to spend thousands of dollars to convince an end user we make a good product. He will only believe what he sees -- our products keep failing. When he demands the supplier (my customer) switch to the competitor, there will be no more failures since my customer is now following proper assembly procedures. The problem will stop and all will accept that it was switching widget suppliers that solved the problem. The real solution was my customer began to assemble the parts correctly.

Some days I hate my life.

Freitag

It was a dark and stormy night. The wind blew the fallen leaves as the rain lashed the windows. I am not starting a story, that is the way it was.

The wife and I went with some friends to eat dinner last night. We went to a local pizza joint. The conversation was good, the food OK, and the service was terrible. We are going to visit our oldest friends in the world tonight. I am becoming a regular social butterfly.

On the topic of being social, the beautiful and talented Jean at Pondering has gifted me a blog award. She is too sweet. With this award comes a MeMe. I usually refuse to play along, but what the heck, I have not done a MeMe for a few years, and Jean is too nice for me to refuse. And it is Friday. Why not?

Where is your cell phone? right next to me -- my new iPhone!
Your hair? short.
Your mother? alive and kicking
Your father? alive and being kicked
Your favorite food? beef and noodles or bacon
Your dream last night? none
Your favorite drink? lemonade
Your dream/goal? to be independently wealthy
What room are you in? office / spare bedroom
Your hobby? reading.
Your fear? snakes
Where do you want to be in 6 years? alive
Where were you last night? home and Cagney's pizza King
Something that you aren't? good looking
Muffins? love muffins
Wish list item? motorcycle
Where did you grow up? Indiana
Last thing you did? make coffee
What are you wearing? red T-shirt and jeans
Your TV? 52 inch big screen
Your pets? none
Friends? few
Your life? good
Your mood? happy.
Missing someone? my boy who is at college
Vehicle? shitty Ford Taurus -- but it is free
Something you're not wearing? shoes, socks
Your favorite store? grocery
Your favorite color? red
When was the last time you laughed? last night
Last time you cried? ? when my grandma died
Your best friend? my wife
One place that I go to over and over? North Carolina
One person who emails me regularly? Work
Favorite place to eat? home

I bet you feel as if you know me better already.

Thanks for the award, Jean.

Be very afraid

If you read anything today, read this article.

Is this the Hope and Change you voted for?

Is this the America you envision?

Can you man up and admit that I told you so?

Seasonal Creep

Every year we lament the seasonal creep. Stores have Christmas Trees on display before Halloween, holding off until after Thanksgiving is a tradition long gone from the retail world. Soon Back-to-school will mark the advent of the Christmas shopping season.

Yesterday I witnessed a seasonal creep situation that was beyond my imagination. This catalog was an affront to all taste. The wife regularly receives the Eddie Bauer catalog. Yesterday's version was the "Spring Preview Edition". I kid you not. It had shorts and jackets and swim suits. Here we are just barely fall, not even winter yet,and the folks at EB are touting the Spring Collection?

GMAFB.

Dear President Obama

I am aware I did not earn a degree from a prestigious Ivy League University. I do not have a law degree. My little Bachelor of Arts from tiny Wabash College is probably not too impressive. I was in the bottom half of my class. I did not spend years voting "present" in the Illinois legislature.

I spent time working with the Little League and Babe Ruth and the local Boys Club. I volunteered with the Boy Scouts instead of working as a Community Organiser.

I may not know which fork to use, and my suits may be cheap. I have never had Kobe beef, and sometimes I eat at the Olive Garden. I like beer. I think popcorn is the perfect snack food.

I may not be the best typist or speller. I may think puns are funny and I have watched NASCAR races on occasion. I live in fly-over country. You probably consider me a rube, a hick.

But I know this, Beck and Hannity and yes, Olbermann and Mathews are all opinion shows. Claiming Fox is biased based on their OPINION shows is ridiculous. Should we discount everything on MSNBC because of Matthews?

Man up, you pussy. If you can't take a little criticism, you chose the wrong profession. Your real beef is that one network has the balls to investigate ACORN, check the details of your extremest advisers and call you out on your untruths. Fox does not fawn and kiss your sorry ass and you do not like it. If you got 1/75th the criticism GW Bush took daily in his eight years in office, I suspect your could be found curled up in a corner, thumb in mouth, crying like a little baby.

Get over it, man. Sack it up. Spend a few minutes and follow the advice of a fellow Democrat, Harry Truman, instead of MAO. Here is a hint -- Google "heat" and "kitchen".

Still true today

Let our banner proclaim our belief in a free market as the greatest provider for the people.

Let us also call for an end to the nit-picking, the harassment and over-regulation of business and industry which restricts expansion and our ability to compete in world markets.

Let us explore ways to ward off socialism, not by increasing government’s coercive power, but by increasing participation by the people in the ownership of our industrial machine.

Our banner must recognize the responsibility of government to protect the law-abiding, holding those who commit misdeeds personally accountable.

And we must make it plain to international adventurers that our love of peace stops short of “peace at any price.”

We will maintain whatever level of strength is necessary to preserve our free way of life.

A political party cannot be all things to all people. It must represent certain fundamental beliefs which must not be compromised to political expediency, or simply to swell its numbers.


I do not believe I have proposed anything that is contrary to what has been considered Republican principle. It is at the same time the very basis of conservatism. It is time to reassert that principle and raise it to full view. And if there are those who cannot subscribe to these principles, then let them go their way.

--Ronald Reagan

Any politician that aspires to be elected can guarantee success by espousing --and believing-- these sentiments.

Hello Pot, meet Kettle

This weekend, White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel and chief political advisor David Axelrod derided Fox News on the Sunday talk shows.

Emanuel said the cable network is "not a news organization so much as it has a perspective." Axelrod claimed that the channel's programming is "really not news, it's pushing a point of view."

Really? And CNN taking Saturday Night Live to task for not presenting facts in a skit about Obama is objective news gathering? Did CNN "fact check" SNL when they were lampooning Sarah Palin?

chirp, chirp

Didja miss me?

Hola boys and girls. I took the weekend off from blogging. I made no posts, read no blogs. I am sorry to say it felt pretty good. I did miss you though. Yes, believe it or not I am talking to you. I enjoy the heck out of your writing , and when I do not read what you have to say, I feel like I am missing a conversation with an old friend.

A big thank you to Doug Ross for the link. If you are not reading Doug, you are missing a vital link to get the politics of the day.

Here it is Monday already, work beckons.

The true nature of women

The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said, 'I've got some bad news.
You have cancer, and you'd best put your affairs in order.'

The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself and walk into the
waiting room where her daughter had been waiting. 'Well, daughter, we
women celebrate when things are good, and we celebrate when things don't go
so well.. In this case, things aren't well. I have cancer. So, let's head
to the club and have a martini.'

After 3 or 4 martinis, the two were feeling a little less somber. There were
some laughs and more martinis. They were eventually approached by some of
the woman's old friends, who were curious as to what the two were
celebrating. The woman told her friends they were drinking to her impending
end, 'I've been diagnosed with AIDS.' The friends were aghast, gave the
woman their condolences and beat a hasty retreat.

After the friends left, the woman's daughter leaned over and whispered,
Momma, I thought you said you were dying of cancer, and you just told your
friends you were dying of AIDS! Why did you do that??'

'Because I don't want any of those bitches sleeping with your father after I'm gone.'

And THAT, my friends, is what is called, 'Putting Your Affairs In Order.'

Why you wish you were me, Volume XXII

Yesterday I found myself winging my way to Northern Wisconsin. I scored a very cheap flight and I was not up to the 8 plus hour one-way drive. Remember, I have been sick -- it will be important later.

I arrived about 20 minutes early to my appointment and was sitting in the car checking messages etc. Suddenly, I felt that familiar twisting cramping rumble deep in my guts. I tried to deny it, the traveler's worst nightmare.*, **

I discussed my business with my customer, as my bowels twisted and gripped and squeezed like an anaconda in my intestines. Luckily, the fates kept the machinations silent. They would make me pay for this small gift later.

I made from the customer and to the rental car. I was in pain and needed to find a restroom stat. I had had some bouts of diarrhea during my illness last week, but nothing like this.

I drove couple blocks to a Dairy Queen I had seen coming into town. I ducked in the back door and into the one-holer designated "MEN". As I flipped on the light and locked the door, I was it by a coughing fit (remember I have just recovered from pneumonia?). It is difficult to concentrate on squeezing your ass cheeks together when you upper body is wracked with coughs. The sphincter is a tricky SOB, and just when my attention wandered for a mere second, it acted like its name sake; an asshole.

You cannot eat soup with a fork and the sphincter was not designed to hold liquids either. As I stumbled toward the toilet, my bowels erupted in a hot fecal explosion of Mt. St. Helens proportions. My pants were half off and I hovered over the seat as a brown rain of turd lava rained down.

I opened my eyes to a scene of devastation. There was shit all over the toilet, all over the seat, all over the floor, all in my tighty whities and on my pants and up my back. I settled onto the seat, crabs and germs be damned, as another explosion rocked the Dairy Queen men's room.

I shrugged out of my shoes, and tried to pull the filled underwear out of the pants without spilling more of the ass soup on my Dockers. I began the long tedious cleaning of the Dairy Queen men's room, myself and my clothing. The tightly whities brownies I buried in the trash. I used wet towels and most of the available ass wipe to clean the floor, bowl and seat. I got my self cleaned too. The pants had a spot about four inches around on the upper backside, that I could cover with my shirt tail. Somehow the front of my shirt tail was splattered with liquid shit the color of Georgia clay. I washed them as well as possible in the sink.

I used much of the soap and shrugged back into my coat and headed back to the rental. I drove to the nearest city searching for a place to get some clothing. The wet pants were uncomfortable on my bare ass.

I went into a Kohls in Manitowoc and grabbed some jeans, underwear and a cheap T-shirt. I felt as if all the shoppers were staring, my shit-stained shirt tail tucked in the front, the back left out to cover my backside. I changed in the car and headed into the store once again as my guts began to rumble once more. Had I driven, I could have just checked into a hotel. I considered it anyway.

After I stunk up the Kohls men's room with a smaller crapfest, I packed my dirty clothing into the Kohl's sack, wrapping everything well. Luckily I had not brought my laptop, so I could put the sack into my briefcase. I said a silent prayer that the TSA assholes would choose today to search my bag.

I made it home around 10:30 without further incident. I took a quick shower and threw my clothing into the washer.

Let me use this opportunity to apologize to the fine employees of the City redacted Dairy Queen.


* Except maybe waking up minus one kidney in a hotel bathtub filled with ice. **

** Or discovering the hot chick you picked up in the bar at the Airport Holiday Inn in Portland is really a Dude. Not that that has happened to me, but I hear things.

Wondering aloud

If health care reform is needed so badly right now, why do none of the provision take effect until 2013?

Let the old Hoosierboy help you

Hello there! Come on in a pull up a chair at the table of Common Sense. Do not worry, this whole health care thing is simple. You see, the first rule of the house is that there is nothing free in life -- nothing. When the President, or Congress , or the newspaper tries to tell you we can cover 30 million, 20 million, or even 100 people's health care, health insurance --whatever -- you need to realize someone has to pay the bill.

When the collective "THEY" try to tell you we can do all of this for 800 billion, but it will not add to the deficit, how do you think this will happen? There will be increase. Someone is going to pay more, and that someone is probably you and I.

No matter what those idiots in Detroit believe, the Government cannot produce money. They can only get money by taking it from you and I. Obama cannot give it to us. Your Senator cannot get it for you. The Feds only get their money from tax payers.

If anyone tells you otherwise, they are ignorant or liars.

Monday Morning

It is a beautiful day here in the Hoosier Heartland. I woke this morning feeling fine and refreshed, hardly a cough on my tired chest. I felt pretty good yesterday, only I lacked the energy to do much of anything.

Monday finds me so far behind at work you cannot imagine. Emails are stacked up and I have lots of travel on tap for this week.

Maybe more later. Thanks again for all of you fine words of comfort. I have the best readers in the blog world.

Bold Predictions

Good morning blog readers. Can you tell I have an extra kick in my step? I feel much better today. The anti-biotic must be working. My super $135 bottle of cough syrup has me coughing much less and sleeping better. I slept most of yesterday, and that is what I have planned for today as well. I DVRd some Esther Williams flicks, so I can go to sleep this afternoon with visions of those long legs in my mind...

In other news, I have searched deep into my drug-influenced crystal ball and I can already tell you who will win the Nobel Peace Prize next year. It will be Miss Delaware. She, like the President, would love to see a nuke-free world and her fondest wish is for World Peace. Apparently, according to the Nobel committee, hoping for peaceand asking Iran and the crazy NOK to stop building NUKE bombs is all that is needed to grab what was once deemed a great honor.

Yoko must be pissed. The Nobel people ignored John Lennon. He said it best "All we need is love...All together now...All we need is love." Plus he asked us all to "just give peace a chance". Maybe Lennon will share the prize (posthumously) with Miss Delaware n 2010?

If we are going to give the Nobel Prize for uttering meaningless, empty slogans, shouldn't we at least consider the Sham Wow guy? At least he delivers.

In other predictions, I expect The Obama will be a surprise recipient of the Best Actor Oscar at the 2010 Academy Awards for his role of running as a centrist then governing from the far, far left left. In addition, he will be given a lifetime achievement award for his convincing portrayal of a person who has actually never achieved anything except running for office...never mind, that is not an act.

Come to find out I really am sick

I broke down and went to the priority Care clinic last night. After a breathing treatment, an x-ray, a shot in my left buttock, and two prescriptions to get filled on the way home I learned I have pneumonia.

It sure is good to be me.

Hola

Miss me? It appears I may live. While still in possession of a wrenching cough, I feel better over all. The good news is the wife hacked half of the night! Who says I am not a giving person?

Urgent Update

I had to cancel an appointment today. I am not happy about it. I could not in good conscious go to see a customer and hack and cough and sneeze and snot all over his office. Especially when there is no significant issues to discuss.

I finally moved to the couch to sleep last night since I could not quit coughing.

Yes, I am taking some over-the-counter stuff.

In the last hour or so my left nostril has begun to leak copious amounts of snot. My ears feel like they are full of bugs stuff too.

It looks like a full blown cold is setting in.

I know most of you wake every day with a prayer on your lips to your God that you could be more like me. It is humbling, to say the least. I do, however, understand your desires.

I would skip that prayer today.

Burn a candle or two in my honor

I know, I am late getting a post up today. Sometimes work gets in the way of hobbies. Of far more importance, I think I am getting sick. I am developing a severe cough and now I have a Don Pardo deep voice. Laryngitis is just around the corner. Since I am a supreme human being, I can tough it out. I am sure most of you mere mortals would be hospitalized already.

Weekend Funny

The Gomer Pyle Media

Surprise, surprise, surprise. Every time we get bad economic news the media is shocked. It is as if Gomer Pyle is working behind the scenes to screw up everything. Unemployment numbers are "unexpectedly worse" -- Surprise, surprise, surprise. "The stock market is unexpectedly down" - surprise, surprise, surprise. "The dollar is unexpectedly weakening" -- surprise, surprise, surprise. No matter what economic indicator we use, it is a huge surprise it is not improving.

After nearly a year of bad news, can we safely say we are disappointed there is no improvement? Is it still "unexpected" that unemployment has not dropped? No matter what the economic news the headlines are the same. What evidence beyond hope that things will change is there that would lead any journalist to believe the economic news will improve? Only the most die-hard ostriches with their heads buried believe the stimulus stimulated anything but the burgeoning debt. Only the most ardent leftist still believes the Government can create jobs -- it does not produce anything!

Let me grab my crystal ball and offer you a few headlines of the future:

Unemployment Unexpectedly Remains at Nearly 20% as Jobs Leave Country in Wake of Energy Taxes.

Government Run Health Care Unexpectedly Results in Long Wait Times and Rationing of Care

Iran Unexpectedly Nukes Israel, Despite President Obama's Offer of Dialogue. Mullahs vow USA Next.

Surprise, surprise, surprise.

Just so it will not be unexpected -- I told you so.

Breaking News

I guess the bloom has worn off the rose abroad as well. The Obama failed to charm the IOC:

Chicago has been eliminated from contention to host the 2016 Olympics.

ESPN.com news services

COPENHAGEN, Denmark -- In a stunning turn, Chicago was eliminated in the first round of voting for the 2016 Olympics.

Tokyo was eliminated in the second round, leaving Rio de Janeiro and Madrid as the final two candidates for the 2016 Games.

Every pundit thought with The Obama and Oprah pushing for the US, it was a shoo-in for the Americans, with Rio a close second. Hahahaha Chicago was the first one out.

Today's earworm

This is just a snippet from the middle of this epic song. YES -- you either love them or hate them. There is no middle. YES was one of the founders of progressive rock and certainly are the longest lived of the genre (along with Rush, who came along later). Too bad the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame sees rap and punk bands (and ABBA) more worthy and influential to the world of Rock.

Here is a bonus cut. Some of you will remember this one:


Enjoy your Friday.

You lie

I assume that we can expect the House of Representatives to offer Joe Wilson an apology.

Read this

If you are a Senator who is interested in stopping illegals from using our super-sweet everybody wants some free health care, why would you oppose this amendment?

Never fear, evil bigoted right wing conspirators, I am sure The Obama will veto the bill since he promised he would not sign anything that lets illegals participate in our health care insurance reform.

hahahahahahahahahaha

And I know this guy in Nigeria who has come into a lot of money and just needs a bank account in the US to make us all rich.......

It still seems like yesterday

This is not a repeat. I have not lost my mind. Today is my middle child's birthday -- the monumental number 21. He has some major partying on tap, if he has even one of my genes in his DNA. This one is my artist, a musician, a college student, a liberal. That is OK. He will come around in time. Or not. We need ideas from both the left and right to make our country work. Ideas from the right make us strong and prosperous as a nation and individuals. Ideas from the left show us the wrong way to do things.

I related the story yesterday of the birth of my youngest child. The wife pleaded with the doctor to make sure the baby was not born on my oldest son's birthday. The result is we have back-to-back birthdays!

Like all my kids, this one is my pride and joy. Happiest of days, Buddy.

This beer is for you. Happy 21st!