The snows of Charlotte, Part One.

charlotteobserver.com

If you watch the weather you know the southeast got whacked with severe weather this week. I had the joy of flying into Charlotte on Tuesday evening. My flight in was delayed several hours as the plane was late, then the delays put too many hours on the crew.  We then had to wait for qualified pilots. I am OK with waiting on qualified pilots.  Who wants the baggage handler guy or red wand waving guy flying the plane?

When I was getting off the plane, my phone rang with the notice my return flight, scheduled for Wednesday evening, had already been cancelled. Shitfuck. I did a quick scan of the board and all flights back to Indy on Tuesday evening were cancelled. So was almost every other flight at the normally busy airport. The line at the airline service desk snaked down the concourse. I headed for the  rental cars.

The rental car bus dropped me off at the super secret elite frequent rental car driver drop point. The sign board directed me to stall 51. There, white paint gleaming under the sodium lights, was a shiny clean Ford Mustang. Yes, in the face of one of the worst ice and snow storms to ever hit the area,  I was given the only real-wheel drive car on the lot.  These same people upgraded me to a SUV on three straight trips late last summer and fall. This time I get the sports car. I headed to the hotel, that old I'm-going-to-get-stuck-here feeling left me depressed.

After a quick dinner of chicken wings and a couple of Yeunglings I called my super secret elite frequent flyer number. I was put on hold to wait the next customer service rep. After 1/2 hour on hold I used the hotel phone to call the general airline customer service number. I was put on hold. I now had dueling on-hold messages and music playing in both ears, one on speaker, one on a receiver glued to my head. Tick tock. Tick tock. I tried to play a few games on my iPad. Finally, after nearly two hours on hold I heard a real live voice on the cell phone  "Hello Joseph..."  I hung up the hotel phone and grabbed my cell off the table. In my haste to turn off the speaker I accidentally hung up the phone.


Then I cried.

At least inside. I also cursed myself vigorously.

I checked availability of flights on-line. It looked like Friday was my next opening. I made a half-hearted attempt to call the airline back and left the phone on hold for another 40 minutes before giving up, ready to try again in the morning. I turned on the local news and watched the grim weather forecast. I called down to the front desk to see if  I could extend my stay. The clerk said that may be a problem. He said a lot depended on the number of cancellations they got on Wednesday. I said to put me on the list.  I decided on the spot to hold back the Mr. Asshole routine and did not even trot out my super secret elite frequent hotel sleeper diamond status card. I decided to wait and see what bad news Wednesday would bring.

to be continued...

Wayback Wednesday

I may have published this before. When you write 4,300 plus posts one tends to forget what was presented previously. This is one of my favorite pictures. This is my wife and daughter taken one winter day in what had to be early 1987.

Do the Van Halen thing (jump)

If ObamaCare is so great...

...why does the President keep delaying implementation?

High hopes, low expectations

Spring training is right around the corner. I need that knowledge as I look at the temperature reading of -14 on my iPhone.

Animal Crackers in my soup

Long time readers know I love old movies. I was never a big Shirley Temple fan, though. But the news readers tell me the actress/ambassador has passed on to wherever we go when we pass on (you beliefs may vary). RIP Curly Top.

Hello, My name Is Jim

I had to talk to a customer service department today. The guy who answered was clearly Indian (subcontinent, not reservation). He told me his name was Jim.  He had a very thick accent and I was instantly pissed off. Not because he was answering from India, but because he claimed his name was Jim. Had he told me to call him Ganesh, or Raj or Anoop, or even Dhruv , I would have been fine.  When he pretended his name was Jim he lost all credibility with me. How could I believe anything he said?  Our entire conversation started with a lie. Every word after the introduction was based on a foundation of falsehood.

Cleveland, The Rodney Dangerfield of Cities

I am reading Jim Bouton's baseball classic Ball Four. I ran across this passage which cracked me up:

Flying in to Cleveland last night I thought about life in this great American city and decided that if you were going to crash on a Cleveland flight it would be better if it was an inbound flight.

Bouton has the same sarcastic, dry sense of humor I occasionally display around my family and friends.

Stuff I have seen

St Maartin  2013

Wish I was there.

Live blogging my breakfast, or How to bore both of your loyal readers to tears

I sit at the breakfast table munching a bowl of Corn Pops this morning. The sun is rising bright in the eastern sky. The brightness belies the frigid temperatures. The backyard is covered with snow. There is a drift across the patio. I can see two Bradford pear trees from where I sit. The one on the right hand side is covered in fluffed-up robins. There are probably 20 birds hopping from branch to branch and fluttering around before landing again. There are no birds in the left hand tree, even though they are only about 10 yards apart. Weird that. I don't know when the robins arrived. They were not here last week, now they are in the pear, in the willow, all around. It seems early for the birds to come back from their southern vacation. The rabbit has been out scavenging for food under the pear trees too. He left tracks everywhere.  It is a regular nature preserve there in the backyard. Today is an office day and I am on my second cup of coffee. The Keurig makes a nice cup of Caribou.  School is on a 2 hour delay this morning due to the cold. According to my phone it is currently -9. I can see the buses going down the street beyond the neighbor's back yard to the elementary school down the street. My youngest is coming home from college for a visit this weekend.  I have only seen him once for a few hours since he headed back to school December 26. I miss him. I am currently reading Jim Bouton's seminal baseball memoir Ball Four. Well, not at this moment. There is nothing like reading a best seller 40 years after it hit the charts. I hear the office phone ringing. I guess that means I need to head upstairs and see who it was. I will never get my ass up there in time to answer it.

Friday Music

Gotta dig the blues

Do not be a f-ing tourist

This is truly one of the issues of the day. A decade ago I averaged 125 flights a year. I spent a lot of time in an airplane. These days I fly around 30 flights annually. That is not much compared to some road warriors, but still far more time in flying aluminum tubes than your average traveler. I have a friend who travels every week. He and I agree, the biggest problem with flying is the "fucking tourists". Not only do they get cheaper fares, they have no idea how to travel respectfully.

Here are my rules for reclining your seat and flying in general:

1. If it is a day flight of under two hours you have no need to recline your seat -- ever. If you cannot sit upright for two hours you have issues and should see a doctor.

2. Do not ever recline your seat and then lean forward to work on your laptop like the jerk in front of me did a few weeks ago.

3. Do not recline your seat during meals.

4. I know you are nervous. It is not my job to converse with you to calm your anxiety. Read your seatmates body language.  I am holding a book because I want to read it, not as a conversation starter.

5. If your bag does not fit in the overhead, cramming will not help.

5a. If you are unable to lift your bag into the overhead without help, check it, or put it under your seat.

6. One bag and a purse or briefcase: that over-sized duffel bag is not a fucking purse and you are not fooling anyone. Storage space is limited and your assholery only takes away space from someone else. I know baggage fees suck. Pack less, pack more efficiently or check your damn bag.

6A. The overhead space is for everyone. You are not guaranteed the space above your seat. A guy once went rabid dog on me for putting my bag above his seat. The attendant had to restrain him from following me down the aisle demanding I move my stuff from "his bin". Like I said -- fucking tourists.

6b. The space under the seat in front of you is yours. You cannot put your stuff under the seat in front of me.  Yes, I have seen jerks try this -- one guy put his bag under the seat across the aisle. His argument to the attendant who told him to move it -- "I need the legroom, she doesn't"!

7. If you are on short flight on a puddle jumper (small commuter flight) you do not have to work. If you have not prepared for your meeting, that extra 30 minutes is not going to help, and your elbow in my side while you try to manage your laptop is just rude.

8. Have your ticket ready when they call your zone or row.

9. Read the TSA rules before you go to the airport. You are going to have remove liquids from your bag. Do not make everyone wait while you unpack your suitcase. If you forget, move your shit off the line and let those of us who are prepared go through while you rifle your belongings.

9A if you are wearing 30 pounds of jewelry you will set off the metal detectors. I know you think you look nice, but you are fucking up the process.  

10. Go easy on the perfume and cologne when flying. Some of us do not like the scent as well as you do, especially when we cannot escape the odor.

10a If you have long hair, there is no need to flip it over the seat back into my space. You may not want to lean on it, but I don't want it in my Diet Coke.

Remember how she was too broke to buy a box of rubbers

But now she has the funds to run for political office.

I guess her only aim in life is to live off of the taxpayers in one way or another.

A letter to my son

Dear son,

I hope your classes at the university are going well. I miss you and wish you were here.

I need someone to shovel this fucking driveway.

Love,

Dad


For the first time all year it took me two sessions to shovel the drive. Last night's 7+ inches 8+ inches of snow was wet and heavy. The issue is compounded by the three feet of snow already lining the drive.  I have to throw it a bit higher. Really, I usually like winter, but I am looking ahead to spring earlier than usual.

I am sure this crap would stop if the neighbors would just turn off their damn Christmas lights.

More snow last night and a few more inches scheduled for later today.

The Olympic Games start this week. I could not be less interested.

I have to do something to shake the case of the mean reds that are affecting me. If you do not understand that reference your knowledge of classic films is lacking. 

Doldrums

Football is over with the attendant over-hype and over-reaction. Sorry pundits, Manning is not now a bum.  He did not lose the game. The Broncos sure did though. Manning certainly contributed, but I did not see number 18 on special teams, and he certainly did not give up 43 points on defense. I am not a basketball fan, and while pitchers and catchers report next week, meaningful baseball is still six weeks away. I do not have much expectation the Cubs will be much fun to watch again this year.

More winter weather is slated for the next ten days -- snow, subzero temps, followed by snow and more subzero temps. Winter lingers.  I long to sit in my backyard, sipping a beer and herfing a fine stogie lovingly rolled between the thighs of a Caribbean beauty queen.

It is the same old, same old in politics as assholes on both sides of the aisle conspire to usurp more and more of your freedoms. The Who had it right, Meet the new boss, same as the old boss. Every politician at every level is determined to pass more laws, to impose more regulation.

Is it lack of exercise, the cold, the low grey clouds that routinely fill the skies that leave me depressed? Is it a post-holiday let down? No Colts on Sunday? Lack of nookie? The ponderous use of sentence fragments in this paragraph? I am tired of boredom-induced snacking. I curse my heavy boots every time I lace them to wade the snow and slush. I long to wear shorts and tee shirts. Mostly, I am sick of whining about stuff in this post. I suspect you are weary of it as well.

Curse you Phil

Stupid groundhog. No wonder farmers around here kill them on sight.

It seems the road to Canton is simply based upon "his turn"

Marvin Harrison was denied the Pro Football hall of Fame yesterday. Instead it was "Andre Reed's time", the vote was based not on numbers, but in that Reed has waited a long time. Perhaps he has not gained the votes before because better players were also up for nomination?

Let us compare the wide receivers who were the finalists this year:

Hall of Fame Finalists - Wide Receivers - 2014

	GP	Receptions	Receptions/Game	Yards	Yards/Game	TD	TD/Game
Andre Reed	234	951	4.06	13,198	56.40	87	0.37
Tim Brown	255	1,094	4.29	14,934	58.57	100	0.39
Marvin Harrison	190	1,102	5.8	14,580	76.74	128	0.67

Courtesy of Stampede Blue

It is clear Harrison far outpaced Reed.   I am in no way saying Reed is not a HOF player, he is not the better player this year. In fact, based on statistics, Reed was the third best receiver to be up for consideration this year. Based on the reporting from Mike Chappell of the Indy Star there was no debating Harrison's merits, but rather "Reed's enshrinement-worthy career aside, the tenor of the room seemed to give serious consideration to his long wait. Reed was in his eighth year of eligibility and a final-10 candidate for a fifth time".  

The HOF is supposed to be about choosing the best of the best, not the best of those who have waited the longest.

How it is done

THIS is an example of why I click on the V-man's link over there on the right nearly every day. He teases us with posts of brilliance then disappears for months at a time, but when he does favor us with his wit, his charm, his prose, it is well worth the read.

Dear guy in the hotel elevator yesterday morning

I will be the first to confess I am not a hand with the ladies, I don't even try. I will further admit that I am no slave to fashion. My business attire runs to Dockers and dress shirts. This I do know; you are forty or forty-five. The wrinkles on your forehead and around your eyes give it away and your foot-long ponytail looks plain silly.

Friday Music

A blast from the past , a glimpse at the TV screen of my youth.  Of course for me it would have been in black and white...

Brady versus Manning

The sports websites and airwaves are constantly full of the Brady v. Manning question. Anytime a sportswriter pens a story about Manning, the Bradyphiles go bezerk and in typical New England-I-think-I'm-Better-than-you fashion regale us with how Brady is superior to Manning. A person can never discuss Peyton Manning at all with one of these guys around, because it always has to be Brady or else. Now those of us with common sense will acknowledge we are in the era of great quarterbacks. We will rightly point out that the Patriot championships were due to a strong defense, something Manning never had in Indianapolis. Why does one have to be better? They are unique in their own way.

Bradyphiles always point to Championships as the end-all-be-all argument for the "greatest quarterback ever" somehow ignoring the greatness of Dan Marino (zero, zip, nadda Superbowl wins). Of course they also ignore the idea that if the number of rings is the only measure, than they must bow down before the greatness that is Terry Bradshaw (4). 

Now those idiots who claim Peyton Manning needs to win another championship to cement his legacy have no clue. Manning is now and will be one of the greatest quarterbacks in any era. There is no disputing this fact, whether he wins Sunday or not. If all we counted for greatness was the number of Big Games a quarterback won,  we would argue Eli is better than Peyton, and Ben Roethlisberger is superior to Marino or Brett Favre. Or even more ridiculous, that Jeff Hostetler, Mark Rypien, Brad Johnson and Trent Dilfer were better than Hall of Famer Jim Kelly.

An allegory that is probably way, way too difficult for Democrats and GOP leadership to understand

Take a page from John Lennon and imagine.

Every day you leave for work. Every day a man stands behind your property line and watches. After you leave, this man jimmies the back door and comes in your house. He eats your some of your food. He grabs a few quarters from your change jar. He watches the chicks on The View. He sneaks a few band aids from the box under the bathroom sink.

You do not notice, he doesn't take much of your stuff on any given day. After a while, you get suspicious, so you put up a fence over part of your property. He goes around the fence and consumes your stuff every day anyway: a little milk and a few aspirins today, cheese and cough medicine tomorrow.

One day, you come home from work early and catch this thief red-handed stealing your stuff. You make a call to the police, the Feds get involved, and low and behold it is you on trial. You are a hater. You are a bigot.The man is just trying to survive. Your thief just wants a better life. It is not fair you have such a nice house and he lives in a cardboard box behind the Food Lion.

In fact, the authorities tell you since he has been stealing from you for ten years and has not been caught up to now, your illegal intruder really is now a part owner in your home. He is allowed to move his extended family into your spare bedroom. The President says you have too much and you should share what you have, Your new roommate sues you because you do not have the SAP feature enabled on your TV, so he can watch in Spanish. Lawyers are sending you threatening letters because you will not let your new co-homeowner vote on the grocery list. Terms like "apartheid" and "discrimination" are used with greater frequency.

After all, it is your fault you did not catch him when he first started stealing from you.

The State of the Union preview

Edward Snowden secretly slipped me the text of tonight's State of the Union address from Obama's teleprompter. I have set it to music for your entertainment:



Tax the rich...'till they ain't rich no more...

Tax and spend -- the eternal Democrat Party mantra.

Iceberg right ahead -- it is time to panic people!

I get it, the outside temps are cold. Heck, the tidy bowl man is ice fishing in my crapper. But it has been this cold before. It will be again.  We are not in the midst of some unheard of deep freeze, with the ice creeping down from the North. It was, in fact, colder just a few weeks ago. My neighbors have left for work without incident. I will be heading out in a bit. But the City of Indianapolis closed today. The precious Government workers will sit home and watch Drew Carey on the Price is Right and munch Cheetos purchased with tax money taken from you and your neighbors. This is not a situation where ice or snow have clogged the roads, it is a result of cold temperatures, and it is a crock of steaming shit. The mayor announced the closing yesterday, before the weather event arrived. I blame the scare tactics of the TV weather people. No longer can they merely report the news, every story must be Dire! and filled with Danger!. Hell, sub-zero temperatures in January cannot even be described as "unseasonable". Closing city offices based on prediction and forecast is a fool's errand. Just this past weekend the weather hacks predicted 5-7 inches of snow when in reality we got about 1/16th of an inch -- total. It is colder than usual, but not to the extreme that the city must be shut down. Indianapolis Mayor Ballard was a Marine.  Now he is a damn Chicken Little. What a joke.

Is it just me?

Is anyone else having internet issues today?  My interwebz are all wobbly.  Certain websites won't load at all, others are real slow to respond.  My signal is good, I just cannot connect to certain websites.

I am sure the NSA is involved. I thought I heard a black helicopter over the horizon late yesterday afternoon. I suspect those are not rabbit tracks all over my backyard, but rather the tracks left by top secret footwear of the Seal Team Seven designed to fool former Boy Scouts like me. Does anyone know of a way to hide your thermal image from a sniper scope? I have already fashioned a helmet from aluminum foil. Do I need to take any other precautions?

Seriously, is any one else having internet issues today?

I flunked a personality test

I am late getting to the old blog this morning. I could blame the unbearable cold. But you don't care -- it is cold at your house too. Perhaps the wind-driven snow has compelled me to  huddle deep in my bed like a hibernating bear. Mostly, I have nothing to say to you today.

Stuff I Have Seen

Rural China 2013

Enough already

I am going to be blunt. Turn off your Christmas lights. It is not festive anymore, it is stupid. I get the weather has been brutal and you cannot take them down.  You can unplug the damn things; enough is enough. There are at least three houses in my neighborhood still burning Christmas lights every night. Christmas was a month ago. Let it go.

Here is a brand new music video from my favorite band. Watch the whole thing.



You thought I would skip the Friday music didn't you?

Dear Republican Party

It is time to decide.  Which is more important, money or votes? You cannot deride your base and expect them to vote for you. On the other hand, you can't win without money.

Decisions, decisions.

Love will keep us together. Until it doesn't

The Captain and Tennille have called it quits after 39 years of marriage. I have two comments:

1. I did not even know the couple was married.
2. I did not know they were still alive. 

Do you think the Captain sported his famous hat when Toni asked him to "Do that to me one more time"?

There will be no musical selection to commemorate this post, because believe it or not I do have standards.

This is so sad

I can't stop crying.

The tolerant left

Get the hell out New York, you are not welcome conservatives.

[C]onservatives who are right-to-life, pro-assault-weapon, anti-gay? ...if that’s who they are and they’re the extreme conservatives, they have no place in the state of New York, because that’s not who New Yorkers are. here

That position kind of reminds you of other people-loving left-leaning governments from history. You know, like in East Germany where the government was so popular they had to build a wall to keep West Berliners from flocking into the communist zone. It was Obama mentor and neighbor and former far-left terrorists Bill Ayres who said that it would be necessary to build concentration camps to re-educate some Americans. It is the progressives among us who are militant about political correctness and enforcing group think. Tyranny in the name of the "people" seems to be a common trait among the progressive-types.

What? The President is Black? When did that happen?

The Obama blames his falling poll numbers on the fact he is black. I know Michael Jackson's skin slowly turned less dark over time, but I have seen no photographic evidence to show the President's skin tone darkening since 2008.

“There’s no doubt that there’s some folks who just really dislike me because they don’t like the idea of a black president,” Obama said

Somehow we are expected to believe that we woke up more than six years after Obama started his run to the Presidency and just now found out he is a person of color? The narcissistic asshole probably believes it. Never mind he has done nothing to improve the economy, the IRS scandles, Fast and Furious, NSA spying, and the eponymous disaster of ObamaCare. Nope, Barack is certain it is his race. Does Obama realize a whole passel of the people he now brands as racists are the very people who elected him?

I can assure you my vote against Obama (twice) had nothing to do with his melanin levels, but 100% to do with his policies and his lack of qualifications. What an asshole. The first post-racial President is the main proponent in keeping race front and center.This is about as far from MLK's dream of a color-blind society as you can get.

h/t Z

Dude makes Ali look humble

The Seahawks Richard Sherman is proof that you can be a great athlete, have tons of money, and still lack class. What a jerk.

To buy or not to buy

A product spokesman's job is get people to buy the product. I never understand why some companies chose a spokesman that turns off the public. Two commercials come to mind locally. The first features the owner of a national (regional?) chain of jewelry stores. His monotone delivery has not improved in decades of practice.  Even if I happened to be in the market to buy some diamond jewelry, his "no middleman" commercials are so uninspiring I would shop elsewhere.

The one local commercial campaign that bugs me to no end airs constantly on every local radio station. It features two women who represent an auto dealership. One has a voice that sends shivers up my spine like fingernails on a chalkboard, the second voice is akin to rubbing balloons or squeaking Styrofoam. The ads are like listening to Marge Simpson's sisters trying to get me to buy a Chevy. I can stand only seconds of their inane banter before I change the station.

I am not alone in my hatred for this marketing duo. A rough survey of relatives and friends showed every single person shared my hatred of these radio spots. I once heard a guy in an adjoining booth at a restaurant echo my sentiments (anecdote -- almost as good as data). These women have annoyed me to the point that I wouldn't ever buy a car at that dealership. I would willingly pay thousands more for a car, secure in the knowledge that the profits from selling me a car will never be used to pay those bitches on the radio.

Isn't the role of a spokesperson to get us into the store, not turn us away?  Don't the ad agencies do a focus group, or take a poll to see how the public responds to a given ad campaign? After years on the radio these businesses must have gotten some feedback.

Dear Liberals, Democrats, and Obamaites across the fruited plain

What would you say if George W. Bush had boasted this:

 “One of the things I’ll be emphasizing in this meeting,” he said, “is the fact that we are not just going to be waiting for legislation in order to make sure that we’re providing Americans the kind of help that they need.”

“I’ve got a pen and I’ve got a phone,” the president asserted, “and I can use that pen to sign executive orders and take executive actions and administrative actions that move the ball forward in helping to make sure our kids are getting the best education possible, making sure that our businesses are getting the kind of support and help they need to grow and advance, to make sure that people are getting the skills that they need to get those jobs that our businesses are creating.” here

Chirpity fucking chirp. Seriously, wouldn't we all be screaming about the President taking on dictatorial powers? This is ninth grade civics, people.

Lone Survivor -- A Movie Review

Wow.  Just wow.

Of Kings and Men

Tom Rice: “Our Founders, Mr. Speaker, designed a system of government based upon a separation of powers. The legislative branch enacts the laws, and the executive branch, the president, enforces those laws. They did that to protect our very, very fragile freedom. We cannot allow those separations to be eroded. One man who can both make the laws and enforce the laws is more a monarch than a president.
“Article II, Section 3 of the Constitution requires, in part, that the president take care to faithfully execute the nation’s laws. In 1792, when George Washington was faced with enforcing an unpopular whiskey tax, he wrote in a letter that: ‘It is my duty to see that these laws are executed. To permit them to be trampled upon with impunity would be repugnant to that duty.’ “President Obama, on the other hand, has, throughout his administration, picked and chosen which laws or parts thereof he wishes to enforce … This is not a Republican issue. This is not a Democrat issue. It is not a tea party action. This is not for messaging. H.R. 442 merely recognizes that no American, including the president, is above the law.” here

I challenge anyone to argue. Any member of Congress who does not agree with this sentiment is ignorant of the Constitution, of history, of our republic.  Perhaps we should make reading Tomas Paine's Common Sense once again required reading in American schools.

It is still wierd

I watched Apocalypse Now again last night. The movie is as bizarre and strange as it was when I saw it on the big screen back in 1979. The movie is loosely based on the novel Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad. It is no wonder the movie is strange, the book is about a dark and weird trip up the Congo in colonial Africa. One of Conrad's novellas. The Duel was made into one of my favorite films, The Duelists.

Reason 62 you wish you were me

I fried up some salmon patties last night. Since you can never get too much fried food I also fried up a batch of potatoes and onions. Yeah, yeah we had a veggie -- broccoli and cheese sauce. The wife fired up a scented candle, but the house still smells like fried foods. In fact it smells like fishy-fried foods. The best part is that there were leftovers and I know what I am having for lunch!

Are you kidding me?

Instead of wasting time on nonsense like this, * how about the Cubs focus on fielding a competitive team. Winning 50% of the games would be a nice change.

*this would be the new mascot.  Visiting sick kids is a good thing. Oh, and turn your hat around asshole.

Toe the line or we will make you milk go sour

Some days I wish I could wake up with no morals, no ethics, no sense of right and wrong,  impervious to gross hypocrisy, and no brains. In other owrds, a Democrat. As near as I can tell, Americans dying in Benghazi, giving guns to Mexican gangsters, using the IRS to target law-abiding American citizens for political purposes, and spying on Americans for having the temerity to use the internet or a cell phone are all OK; not worth discussing. A traffic jam on the George Washington Bridge -- heads need to roll. I have driven on the GW many times, and I think there was a traffic jam every time. No wonder it took a couple of months for this come out. Lane closures and traffic jams are a fact of life in that part of the world.

Let's be honest, Christie's alleged political revenge is pretty lame when you compare it to normal Democrat political payback. Just ask Vince Foster. Screwing up traffic on the George Washington Bridge is akin to the Mayor of Indianapolis digging a pothole on your street or the mayor of Los Angeles having a car break down on the 405. This "scandal" is further evidence the Republicans are truly bad at hardball politics.

About last night

That was ugly. Who the hell punts on fourth and less than one when you are behind three touchdowns in the fourth quarter? It would not have made any difference, mind you, but that is bad coaching to go along with bad offense and absolutely horrific defense.

Happy Birthday Elvis

You don't hear too many reports about The King working a convenience store in Michigan, or doing dishes in a remote California town any more. In fact, Elvis lives mostly in the hearts of our nation's elderly.

There was a time when the movie channels, AMC or TCM, would have filled the programing over Elvis' birthday with his legendary flicks. I am not sure either is even playing one this weekend. That is too bad, I find Elvis movies entertaining as hell. Sure, he played Elvis in every movie. His acting was mediocre at best. But Elvis exuded a charm and charisma that was palpable even on screen. Too often we get caught up in the art of movie making. Elvis movies made no pretense, they were a vehicle for the King to sing a few songs, and to hopefully entertain the audience for 93 minutes or so. Period. On that level they were incredibly successful.

Friday Music

I know you mostly do not listen to the Friday Music Selections. I am also aware that you are even more reluctant to click a link. Today I am asking you to do both. My mostest favorite musician ever has re-recorded some old songs and I think the results are amazing. Even more appropriate to the theme of this post is the title of the collection is "Casual Friday" .Unfortunately, there is no Youtube, and I have no idea how to put a sound clip on the old blog.

Listen here

For those of you who have heard selections from my son's band in the past, this is very different.  There is more of a pop feel in these tunes.  In addition this is a solo project. Bradley Thomas played all of the instruments and did all of the vocals. I am certainly biased, but I think the music is pretty good. Do me a favor and listen. It don't cost nuthin', unless you want to buy the songs. He would appreciate that I am sure.

Dear Democrats

Can anyone explain to me why we should not place Social Security funds into private investments? Such a plan will never work, right?

Details, details

Let me get this straight. We have to extend unemployment benefits because families are hurting. We have to expand the "food stamp" program yet again, because families are unable to keep up in this tough economy. In the meantime, we can finally have a discussion about increasing the minimum wage because the economy can support it (even though most economist agree unemployment rises with an increase in minimum wage). The President is touting the huge economic turnaround and growth in the last quarter. Which is it? Are families suffering or is the economy robust and growing?

We have to expand the school lunch program, send food home for evening and weekend meals, and serve lunch and breakfast during school breaks because our children are starving. We must regulate those same school lunches because our youth are too fat.

Millionaires like Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, and Barack Obama complain about the economic disparity while taking Hawaiian vacations. They tell us we are greedy but at no point do they give away vast amounts of their wealth to the less fortunate. These politicians make three times the wages of the average American, but exempt themselves from the very legislation they impose on the public at large. Obamacare is good enough for you and me, but those who passed the damnable law need subsidies because it is too expensive!

The truth is "income disparity", if it is really a problem and not mere socialist babble, has occurred most under the watch of this President and a Democrat-controlled Senate.  The Republicans have not been able to advance their economic and budgetary agenda since taking over the House of Representatives in 2010. The Democrats controlled all branches of the federal government for most of Obama's presidency. If there is a problem, the Democrats and their economic policies are solely to blame.

The news media was willing to investigate and spend hundreds of hours and millions of words reporting on a "fake, but accurate" report of GW Bush. But the hypocrisy, lies, scandal, and incompetence that is the hallmark of the current Democrats-in-charge is ignored in light of whatever idiocy the celebrity of the day is caught doing. There is no secret to declining newspaper subscriptions, failing news magazines like Time and Newsweek, and a significant reduction in viewers of national TV news. The media choose to focus on whatever maternity outfit some princess is sporting instead of the outrageous use of the IRS to target political opponents.

Just like sheep, we will wake up one day sheared of our wool, sold for dog food. We are following a vicious shepherd who cares not a whit for our welfare or that of our Nation, only if we meet his needs.

record cold is global warming

I will believe in man-made global warming when the models that predict "we are all going to die if we do not change our ways" can accurately predict the weather backwards. In other words, we have about 130 years of weather records. When one of the models accurately models what we have experienced, then I will be on board.  Until then, the whole climate change mantra is just progressives looking for means to take over the economy, your life, and your pocketbook.

More Unemployment benefits or bust!

Maybe instead of pushing to extend unemployment, the government (read Democrats) should discuss ways to spur the economy, not taking money from the working class and handing to the non-working.  Even worse, we are mostly borrowing the money from your kids and grandkids and the Chinese to give to the unemployed. Would you borrow money from your kid's college fund to help out the guy panhandling at the interstate exit? Would you break into your granddaughter's piggy bank to toss a buck or two to the wino on the corner? Why would you let your government do it? At least the WPA got labor  in exchange for a helping hand.

Instead of punishing those who create the jobs through higher taxes and the job-killing ObamaCare, we should look to ways to facilitate hiring and business investment. Of course, long economic stagnation is a hallmark of Democrat administrations and Obama and his gang are quickly surpassing Jimmah Carter as the most economic illiterate regime ever.

It looks like a poem outside

Yesterday's snow was wet and heavy. It made for a beautiful postcard-like image as it stuck in thick layers to the trees and branches. The temperatures dropped significantly and quickly just as the wind picked up, so the heavy snow is now stuck to the trees.  The howling wind is making for a dangerous situation as the laden branches crack and break. Fallen trees and branches have already snapped power lines cutting electricity to many in the area. Thank goodness we are not among those unlucky citizens. I worry about some of my trees.  The Bradford Pears are sagging heavily, as is the ornamental Japanese maple(?) that looks like an over-sized Banzai tree next to the patio. The ice coated branches of the giant weeping willow are reflecting like jewels in the sun, but that extra weight cannot be good.

Do not let the weather blogging confuse you. I have no issue with winter. In fact I rather like it.  Would I prefer a nice 75 degree sunny day with low humidity? Of course. But the change of seasons makes that Chamber of Commerce weather special and savored.

Just like you

I suspect we are metaphorically sharing a seat in the same lifeboat, taking sips of water from the same rusty can and trying to discreetly evacuate our bowels over the side without falling prey to sharks. In other words, I bet it is damn cold at your house too. We have an uncharacteristic fresh 10 plus inches of snowfall on the ground to go with the five or six inches we got late last week. Coupled with wind chills in the neighborhood of -30F, it is miserable weather in any one's estimation. I hate to blog about the weather again, but outside of football, books and TV there is not much going on in my life. The wife made some chocolate chip cookies last night.  I do have that. Be safe this Monday.

Sunday blogging with coffee, Sinatra, and snow

I have never been one to sit around in my pajamas. That is why I will never be a good blogger. That and I wear gym shorts and old T-shirt instead of pajamas anyway. So here I sit wearing yesterday's Indianapolis Colts jersey, still in shock and awe. If you do not follow the NFL, the Colts came back from a 28 point deficit in the second half to beat the Chiefs 45-44. It was indeed a game for the ages.

Over my right shoulder I glance out the window and see the snow coming down hard, straight and thick like movie set snow. The 6-10 inches of expected snow I do not worry about much. I have nowhere to go, and a couple of nice shovels in the garage if I feel the need. The minus 20 temps that will follow bother me a little.  Mostly for my ill-prepared sons, who live in rental properties. The oldest never has groceries and his old car is unlikely to start in the bone-chilling temperatures. As a parent you cannot help worrying. I am also a bit concerned about my elderly parents, but I know they will be prepared as much as possible.

Have a great Sunday and to quote a great old TV show -- Be careful out there.

My, how time flies

Good g-d it is cold. My handy iPhone app indicates it was -11 when I got up. WTF? I thought we were getting warmer? It seems just like yesterday that I posted this:

A big dose of global (not) warming is making its presence known around these parts and much of North America in the form of winter storms and cold temperatures. I am not surprised, it is winter.

Oh wait, it was just yesterday.

Here is some Friday Music to get your New Year off on the right step:



Did you see what I did there?

Same crap, different year

A big dose of global (not) warming is making its presence known around these parts and much of North America in the form of winter storms and cold temperatures. I am not surprised, it is winter. We got some snow last night and we are bracing for sub-zero temperatures early next week. The tale of the global warmists who traveled to summertime Antarctica to prove the ice was melting because of man-made global warming and found their ship stuck fast in the ice has amused me to no end. Not only was the preceding sentence exceedingly long, but the whole situation just reeks of irony.

The Military Industrial Complex killed JFK, faked the moon landing, and has hidden proof of aliens at area 51. They also have the secret to getting lime scale off your sink, but won't share it

I watched the Oliver Stone version of the assassination of JFK over the weekend. There is nothing like offering a movie review some 22 years after a movie hit the theaters, but this is the first time I have watched this movie. I did not miss anything but cinematic crap in the intervening two decades. I will not waste time discussing the acting or the script. The entire plot is so stupid it defies logic. I am not a lawyer, and I have not played one on TV, but I do know a prosecutor is not allowed to make speeches and long soliloquies expounding upon his theories. Courts demand proof and evidence and the opinion of a lawyer is neither.  No defense lawyer or judge would have let prosecutor Garrison spend 15 minutes laying out his vast conspiracy theory unsupported by a witness.  Attorneys question witnesses, not argue their case like a high school debate.

Look, I don't know if Oswald acted alone. I do know that a cabal of military, CIA, FBI, Dallas Police, and the mob did not do the deed. There is no secret so good that one of the participants would not have blabbed by now. By all accounts Oswald was a loner, a loser and not too bright. Oliver Stone would have us believe Oswald was the greatest actor of all time, a true right-winger who spent his life pretending to be a commie bastard, even going so far as to spend time in Russia and attempting on numerous occasions to defect to Cuba. Hell, if you are into the JFK murder conspiracy theories, the one presented in this book is far more entertaining and believable.

Celebrate

I am not one for big end-of-the-year retrospectives but this has been a pretty good year. We went on the vacation of a lifetime when the wife and I cruised the Caribbean in March. I went to China in June where I walked the Great Wall. We bought a new house and moved away from the small town where we have lived for 24 years. There were a few events that dampened the year, but I will not dwell on those.

another brick in the wall...

As far as the old blog goes, readership was down significantly, an indication of the quantity and quality of my posts. I also think the general state of blogging has changed with more and more people migration to Facebook and other social media.  Thus far I have resisted the temptation to move my (almost) daily musings to other platforms.

As you head out to celebrate the tuning of the calendar this evening avoid driving if you plan on drinking. Here is a musical interlude to get your party started:



This is the closest I could get, Teacher. I hope it will suffice!

Best wishes for a Happy New Year to you all.

I need coffee

Happy Monday. Today is a work day for me since I used up all of my vacation last week. I plan on writing my monthly report and other end of the year tasks, like filling in the 2014 holidays on my desk calendar: important stuff like that.

I had a post all written (albeit in my brain) when I went to bed last night. This morning it was gone like a wisp of smoke.  Do not grieve, it was nothing of life-changing brilliance. It was more interesting than what I have written so far. Perhaps you can do me a solid and pretend you read the post I did not write and let me know in the comments your reaction to my words you did not read.

Every man has a right to a Saturday night bath*

Here it is late on a Saturday morning and the damn cursor continues to mock me. I have nothing to report. No amusing anecdotes, no silly jokes, not one satirical cartoon, nary a biting, honest, and accurate social commentary. I could bore you with a mundane and unexceptional weather report. I could adopt a soporific tone and detail some historical vignette. But I will not bore you further on this eponymous day devoted to the Roman god Saturn.

I hope you have a great final weekend of 2013.


*LBJ

Padding for my a$$

I hope Santa Claus was good to you this year, but if you are an optimist, a bag of coal could help offset those Obama-inspired skyrocketing electricity costs. The EPA will probably stop you from burning that bag of coal, and declare your home an endangered wetland out of spite, but if you are willing to take the risk I say go for it.

Around here we had a good Christmas. The wife went overboard, as usual. She bought me a nice desk chair to replace the hard, $49 special I have used for the past five or six years.  Now I no longer have to keep putting back the  stuffing into the split in the pleather seat like I did for the old one.  The new one is leather covered memory foam and cushions me like a pair of angel hands wrapped around my ass cheeks

What? You did not think  I would forget to put up some Friday Music did you? How about Tom Jones and Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young -- together? Yes, that Tom Jones. The look on Neil Young's face is priceless.

Wake up and smell the coffee

No better way to start the day.

Merry Christmas

The Reason for the Season

I have questions

If getting health insurance for the millions who do not have it is so important, and if ObamaCare is so important to solving our nation's imaginary "health crisis" why was it not implemented for four years? More pertinent to today's discussion, why are millions being exempted?  Why is the employer mandate pushed out?  Why is the individual mandate being pushed out? How can the President or his designees make rulings in violation of existing federal law?

one last word

I was reading back over this post and thinking a little more on the whole Duck Dynasty kerfuffle.  I am not sure I have fully expressed myself upon this matter. My late Mother-in-Law (bless her soul) was a strict Southern Baptist.  For her, dancing and drinking of alcohol were sins. Playing card games was not an option at her home, not even benign games like old maid, crazy eights or euchre. Verboten, prohibito, interdit, zapresennyj, zakazano, jin zhi, forbudt -- in other words for her it was a sin. I did not subscribe to her beliefs. I did abstain from those particular vices while in her home.

I am still not sure why it matters if Robertson thinks homosexuality is a sin. As near as I can tell from the reports of his comments he did not advocate a pink "H" embroidered on the chest and internment in concentration camps. He just said he thinks gay equates to a sin. So what? My MIL thought I was a sinner because I enjoyed a cold beer while playing poker. Sometimes I got drunk and danced with her daughter. I am pretty sure she liked me in spite of my faults. When I was a teenager I was told masturbating was a sin and it would make me go blind. I sinned right up to the point I needed bifocals. 

There are religions all over the world who find my actions and beliefs heretical. I wipe my arse with the toilet paper clenched in my right hand (then I wash thoroughly with strong soap). I eat pork and shellfish. I have no issues consuming a steak on Friday, even during Lent. I munch the day away during Ramadan. I believe I will have to atone for my sins on judgement day. I hope I pass muster. But I do not agree with the notion a game of solitaire will send me to damnation. As such, if you do not agree with the idea that your love life is a sin, who cares?

When the Jehovah's Witnesses and the Mormons show up on my doorstep I do not take affront that they want to convert me. I politely tell them no thanks and they move on, chalking me up to one more lost soul in their book. Unlike the militant gay lobby and the intolerant left, the rest of the world needs not conform to my way of thinking. But we all know if they did the world would be a much better place.

Searching in vain for the ultimate post title

Here we are bright and early on a Monday morning. I am ostensibly working today, but the head office is manned with a skeleton crew and few, if any, of my customers are open today. I plan to use the time to get caught up on some paperwork, do long-neglected filing, and clean up my voluminous email. I have low expectations regarding my level of success in completing these mundane tasks.  I find doing them as boring as you do reading about them.

On the plus side it may mean multiple posts from the blog owner today. You should check back every fifteen  minutes few hours to make sure you read the latest in riveting examples of blogging excellence (such as the opening paragraph to today's entry).

A sob story

I just finished watching It's a Wonderful Life and crying like a baby. That flick gets me every time.

That and The Blues Brothers...

Weekend Funny

I bought a turkey for our Christmas feast. Maybe it was "Coach".

I first published this way back in 2006. It is still funny.

Historical History

I first published this back in February of 2007. It is a true story. I have published a couple of times since. This is the one of first posts I wrote that was linked by other bloggers. Why am I publishing it again today? These events took place 35 years ago this week. Many of you will have read this story before, so as an added bonus I have added an update after the jump.

February 12, 2007

A love story

Thursday, the second wrestling meet of the week. I took a beating, yet still won. You remember the old joke about "does your face hurt?", yes it did. On the bus ride home I had time to think. In the dark it all became a stark reality. I just had to get out of going to that dance.

How could I break it to her? She bought a dress, I had ordered the corsage. Dinner reservations were made. I did not even know this girl. I could say I was sick. Think, man, think. If I cancelled I would be a heel, and Teresa would be pissed. That would be bad. She would not like me to cancel a date with her best friend.

Friday, I woke, no closer to a resolution. I had a crush on this girl, Teresa. Her best friend asked me out to a Sadie Hawkins dance. It was a big deal, the biggest dance of the year except for the prom: dresses were bought, suits were worn. I said yes, thinking the girl would talk about how wonderful I was and Teresa would see me as something besides a friend. Sixteen year old boys do not always think logically, especially when it comes to women. Yes, my motive was wrong. I did not care.

Wrestling practice was supposed to be short, most of the team had a date for the dance. I had two black eyes, the result of high cheekbones and sharp elbows. We started wrestling around and my partner Jeff got a bloody nose. He got them all the time and of course, I laughed at him. This really made him mad and he was determined to give me a bloody nose as well. The only problem is I had never had one. EVER. He proceeded to give me several hard cross-faces. He hit me with an elbow, he smashed me with his skull. No bloody nose. I took a quick shower before heading home to get ready for the dance. Shit, my left eye was swollen shut, my right eye and cheek were hues of blue, green and purple. I bet her parents would be real impressed.

I circled the block twice mustering the courage to knock on the door. Her nephew answered. Fortunately she was ready. A few quick pictures and we were on our way. No one asked how I came to look like a prizefighter.

On the way to the restaurant we did not speak much. I gave this girl a quick glance. I barely knew her. Only after she asked me to the dance did I discover her last name. Her short hair was dark, almost black. It fell in soft waves framing her face. Her nose was straight and narrow, freckles covered her cheeks. Her eyes lit up each time she smiled. They were hazel.

We went to the local Moose Lodge for dinner (the oldest in the world), there was not much else in the little town where we lived. I had pork chops. Neither of us spoke much during dinner. Aborted conversations ended with one word answers. "Is your steak OK?"

"Yes, It is fine," she muttered. Oh God, what have I gotten myself into? OK, dinner, go to the dance stay an hour or so and make an excuse to take her home. Maybe I can claim I have wrestling practice in the morning. I noticed her hands. The fingers were long and smooth, a small hint of white fingernail polish graced the long nails. A few freckles dotted her arms. I tried hard not to stare at her chest above the white sleeveless dress. The swell of her breasts was enticing. She was kind of pretty. When she stopped in the ladies room after dinner I briefly thought about just leaving. She was in there a long time, and maybe she was hoping I would.

I still remember clearly the events before the dance. What I ate. The back of my neck burning with embarrassment. The feeling everyone in the dining room knew I was a lousy date, a failure, a hoodlum. The rest of the evening remains a blur. We found our table at the dance. We were sitting with her friends. I knew some of the other guys. The lights were low and suddenly this strange girl looked lovely. The band was playing and we sat and tried again to talk. Finally a slow dance was played and I summoned the courage to escort her to the floor. She fit perfectly in my arms. the top of her hair came to my eyes. Her waist was the perfect size for my skinny arms. She smelled faintly of flowers. After the song we walked to the punchbowl holding hands.

As we sat back at the table I moved my chair closer, we began to find things to talk about. My hand was on her thigh. I forgot my mother's admonition to not try to be funny. Mom told me that often others just did not get my dry sarcastic sense of humor. The girl had the most melodious laugh. We danced some fast songs. She had rhythm, I could only jerk around like a spastic monkey with a lobotomy. I was having a good time in spite of my efforts not to.

Another slow song began and we moved to the floor hand in hand. I put my arms around her, her hands locked around my neck. I looked into her eyes and saw my soul. She leaned to me, and I to her. Our lips met and electricity shot through my body. My hair stood on end. As our tongues met, I never felt like this before! Wow, I said as our lips parted. I was out of breath. I was not sure if we had kept dancing or not. The room spun. I kissed her again.

The night lasted forever and ended too soon. As we made out in the front seat of my parent's Monte Carlo, hurried plans were made for another date the next day. I drove home with her taste on my lips. Pizza, a movie and more electric kisses followed on Saturday.

Monday came and Teresa did not look quite so hot. She asked me how the dance went, a knowing leer on her face. I know now girls talk about that stuff*. Teresa told me she just knew the girl and I would get along. She suggested a double date the next week. Why not?

I found an old picture taken at that dance back in December of 1978. I see a skinny boy, his left eye shut, his right black. I see a couple of kids, unsure of life, of themselves. The pretty girl is standing next to that boy. I know the picture was taken as we arrived, before the slow dances, before the kiss. I know this because in the picture I am just a shy boy, smirking at the world.

I dated the girl for several years. I left for college. I got engaged. I got married.

The girl is now my wife. Her kisses are still electric.


* My buddy Jeff just asked me if I got 'any'.

What I have learned in the past few weeks

The thought police are alive and well among the "tolerant" and much, much smarter and better than you progressive-types. It has come to this; you are not allowed to have a differing opinion on any matter. It is of no consequence that a news anchor thinks Jesus and Santa are white. It is irrelevant if a fundamentalist Christian actually believes fundamentalist Christian stuff. These thoughts and opinions must be censored and stamped from the public discourse.

Like much in today's political world this trend leaves me completely confused. Who cares what someone else thinks as long as those beliefs do not impact me? If you want to worship the right front fender of a '64 Ford Falcon, who am I to complain? If you like the novels of Danielle Steele, good for you. If you want to proclaim to the world your love of dildoes and ObamaCare, I am good with that.

If a businessman and star of a reality show thinks men boffing men and girls licking girls is a sin, who cares? His opinion does not in any way impede your lifestyle if you are into men or women or even giant fuzzy stuffed animals. Why do you need his approval?

If my customer chooses to say a brief prayer before lunch I can join him, or sit quietly and respectfully while he invokes a blessing. It has no effect on me or my beliefs. If a woman wants to wear a burqa on a hot summer day and walk three steps behind her husband, who am I to say she is wrong? As long as they have no similar requirement for my wife, it is of no consequence to me. Do you want your Santa to be black? OK, mine is white. For all I know my neighbor thinks Santa is a Martian, all green with a butt-shaped head. Who am I to tell him he is wrong?

Back in my old town there was a militant vegetarian who harangued the public regularly in the editorial pages about the evils of eating meat.  If he wants to murder a carrot or boil a brussel sprout alive, It is none of my business. But when he wants to ban chicken or beefsteak, then we have an issue. That is the problem with your average progressive, you must conform or else. It is a universal fault with the mindset.  Ask anyone who lived in Communist China or the old USSR.

Why is it the leftist insist we must conform to their worldview?

I am about half-afraid to publish anything here that is not pure pablum.

Friday Music

Claymation is the best.

Ghost of Christmas Past

I find myself in a nostalgic mood this morning. The decline of slick magazines and newspapers in this digital age has been much documented. But the demise of the catalog really hits home this time of year. When I was a kid. the excitement was almost palpable the day the first Christmas catalog arrived in late fall. It was the harbinger of the Season. Montgomery Ward's, JC Penney, sometimes Sears were the embodiment of Santa's workshop at our house. My brother and I would comb the pages looking for that magical gift; That Thing We Must Have. We dogeared the pages, looking through the selections again and again to make sure we did not miss a single toy option.

We lived in a small town. There was no big department store full of toys. The catalog was our lifeline to possibilities. Yet, as great as the toys were, they were never the same when lifted from their intricately photographed settings. There was no jungle hiding the GI Joe in my bedroom. That nifty truck caught splashing across a a rock-filled raging creek was not so exciting when it was pushed across the carpet of home. Major Matt Mason was slightly less awesome when there was not a barren moonscape to traverse in his space buggy.

Do you think forty years from now a pathetic old guy will reminisce about the days he scrolled through the Target ads on his iPad, looking at toys?

How to get $10,000 subsidy to pay for Obamacare when you make $174,000 per year

One way is to be Marco Rubio, dreaded foe of ObamaCare and federal spending, unless that spending helps him get cheaper insurance from the ObamaCare exchanges. Members of Congress make many times what the Average Joe in this country brings home.  In fact, a Congressman makes about 394% more than your average American worker. But you and I do not get $10,000 from the taxpayers to help pay for ObamaCare. Chalk this up as example 1,843 of why Congressional approval ratings are so low.

Jim Jordan (R-Ohio) and  Lindsey Graham (R-SC) have elected not to accept the subsidy.

The secret to making a great cup of coffee

 I feel weird today. I think a cold is coming on. I feel light-headed and can't seem to concentrate. I would swear I was half in the bag, or stoned, but I have not had a beer in weeks and I have not indulged in illegal drugs since my college days three decades ago. Perhaps I need more coffee?



I feel like that. Have no doubt, if I do get ill, I will likely be more sick that anyone outside of critical care patients in the best hospitals.

Yes, I am one of those men.

One Tin Soldier Rides Away

I just heard on the radio that the author and director of Billy Jack, Tom Laughlin, has passed away.

Damn.  Billy Jack once broke my finger. True story. That tale is in the archives somewhere. I don't have time to look for it.



Hell yeah.

RIP Mr. Laughlin.

Tick Tock

I am not sure where the weekend went. I look back on the previous two days and I cannot point to a single accomplishment beyond shoveling the drive and sidewalk. A quick glance out the front window indicates there is more snow this morning, not much though. I watched TV. I read. I made a batch of chili and some cornbread for supper last night.

I have a bit of work to get ready for a customer visit today. I should have done it Friday. Tomorrow will be spent doing expense reports. A few more customers to see late in the week will pretty much end the year for me work-wise. I have some vacation time to burn off Christmas week.

Have a good Monday and keep warm.

How to skin a field mouse in three easy steps

Good morning Blog People. Here it is Sunday and I am a little late perusing the interwebz. I stayed up late and slept late (for me). I emptied the dishwasher and enjoyed some coffee before heading to the old 'puter. My office has been transformed in a gift wrapping station. Rolls of wrapping paper, boxes, and bows are scattered on the floor. I don't mind. I dig Christmas. I think most of the shopping is done. Now the wife is hard at work wrapping the goodies (not at this minute). I wrapped the gifts I purchased for her while she was in the shower yesterday. As usual, you can pick out the packages I wrapped.  Hers are a picture of perfection, mine look like a drunk distracted chipmunk taped on the paper while dancing to the soundtrack of Saturday Night Fever. My best effort resembles a kindergarten art project.

I thought about searching the archives and throwing up a rerun this morning. I did actually post some good stuff at one point. This blog is living proof of the 100 monkeys and 100 keyboards theory. My inner primate has not hit a home run for a while though. But look! I have managed to make this semi-coherent rambling into a post after all.

Do you want to know something sad? I talk exactly like I write on this blog (albeit with that weird half southern/half Chicago south-of-seventy Hoosier accent. Yes, if we were to meet up for a beer or coffee the conversation would be exactly as presented here each day. That kind of gives you goosebumps in bad way doesn't it?

Friday Music Saturday Edition

Lighten Up, Francis

Spending the week in airports and hotels coupled with unbelievably cold weather left me with a lot of reading time the past week or two. Since the beginning of the month I have managed to read the following:

A Dance With Dragons  by George R. R. Martin
Goodbye Enorma  by John Locke
The Burning Land by Bernard Cornwell
Outside the Box by John Locke
Gods of Guilt by Michael Connelly
Grub Line Rider by Louis L'Amour
Open Range by Lauren Paine

I am still in the middle of 500 Strong, Wabash College Students in the Civil War (Barnes et al.) and Von Ryan's Express by David Westheimer.

What are you reading?

Friday Music

I need a cleanse.  I am too pissed off for a Friday.  GuyK used to have a policy of no politics on a Friday, I think he was on to something.


Here is some music to take us into the weekend.  After ranting about sell-out politicians I just cannot sully these pages with classic Christmas tunes, it seems obscene in a strange way. How about some rock and roll of late 1970's vintage instead? 

Dear Republican Party

So, you think conservatives are misguided and killing your party? You may be correct. I suspect you are about see if your theory is true. If you do not want my vote, or my support, that can be easily arranged. I am done voting for candidates who do not support a smaller government and lower spending. I want someone who thinks a "cut" in spending is actually reducing spending, not just spending less than you wanted. My wife did not buy that new bedroom furniture she wanted, did she "save" me a couple of grand?  Of course not, but those who go to Washington want us to accept just that logic. Worse they think we will actually believe that spending more now and promising to make up that difference in 2021 or 2022 is reducing spending.

The Republicans just joined the Democrats in scrapping the only true reduction in Government spending we have seen in years. In fact, spending has increased every year under Boehner's leadership in the House.

So, is it fair to punish a politician because they voted for a bad budget bill?  Why yes, So congrats Susan Brooks. You officially made sure you will never get my vote again. Stupid Republicans just do not get that the Tea Party is not a party.  It is millions of Americans who are tired of ever growing Government intrusion, of higher taxes of burgeoning bureaucracy, and legislation. Even a cursory reading of statistics shows Romney lost not because Obama was so overwhelmingly popular, but that a significant number of former Republican voters stayed home. I never attended a Tea Party rally.  I never identified myself as a Tea Party member. I am a conservative. But I will never, ever hold my nose and vote for the lesser of two evils again.

Increased spending, a failure to do anything about ObamaCare but claim "we will fix it later" a utter failure to retaliate in the Senate after Harry Reid blew up the filibuster rules, and a plan to shove amnesty down our throat is a recipe for disaster. The Boehner Bunch are the new Whig party, Democrats in every aspect but name. I can only hope the Republican Party garners the same fate.

Et Tu, Paul Ryan?

Geez Repubs, do you really expect anyone to believe if we increase government spending now we will actually cut

back 10 years from now? The Democrats have always proposed the Whimpy (I will gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today) promises for budget cuts, and now the leading "conservative" Republicans are doing the same.

Holy crap we have gone from fighting to defund ObamaCare and holding the government accountable for spending to scrapping sequestration, funding ObamaCare, and increased spending in less than a month! Hell, this deal makes it possible for the Senate to pass tax increases without fighting off a filibuster!

What the fuck Paul Ryan? 

0 as in Zero

...and I am not talking about the President taking selfies at a funeral (stay classy Obama). Zero is the temperature as I hunt and peck these letters. That is cold anywhere. Think of it this way, it is possible, if your 'fridge was outside, that you could open your freezer to get some warmer air. On the other hand, it is winter, so we should not be surprised that there is snow and cold and short days.

An asshole mugged my oldest boy Monday evening. He took his money and cell phone at gunpoint. At least he threw down the wallet after lifting the cash so he still has his credit cards and ID. Most importantly, my son was not hurt.

I am back in the old homestead after a week of travel to exotic and wonderful places, each warm and sun filled. Actually I was in Charlotte and other North Carolina venues, but it was warmer than here. My flight was delayed. so I got to spend about four extra hours in the Charlotte airport. Good for me (sarcasm font alert). I am going to slap alongside the head with my worn suitcase the next jerk who tells me "I wish I had your job,  traveling around must be fun",

Still, did you notice I managed to put up semi-cogent masterpieces of bloggity goodness all week? Well, I posted some stuff anyway. If you were especially on top of things today you might notice I pulled a Freddie (hey Freddie if you are out there!) and pulled a post I published earlier this morning. Don't worry, you missed nothing.

If you owned the company, what would you pay?

In all of the discussions about increasing the minimum wage a few points are lost. First, proponents claim that the increase in minimum wage has not kept pace with inflation. They argue that if we look at historic minimum wage as a percent of GDP, the wage should be north of $14/hr. The other half of that argument is if the price of the goods produced and sold by those making minimum wage have also matched the pace of inflation. Has the price of a Big Mac or pizza increased at the same percent of GDP? I don't know the answer, but that is an essential piece of the puzzle.

Secondly, we have to consider the value of the labor. How many sandwiches does a business have to sell to make enough income to pay the proposed wages? I will say this until I am blue in the face, a business does not exist to create jobs, it exists to make money. That is precisely why almost without exception the private sector works better than government. If a business owner cannot make a profit he will cut costs to make it so. The local convenience store, restaurant, pack and ship store cannot print money or operate for long losing money. A business cannot run trillion dollar deficits like the government. All businesses will reduce costs when they are losing money and in most cases labor costs are among the largest costs.

Unskilled labor is easy to find and thus demands lower wages. A trained tool and die maker takes years to develop his skills and is paid accordingly. It takes little or no skill to push a picture on a McDonald's cash register. That McDonald's worker may work just as hard as the union member tool maker, but the value of the labor does not demand a similar wage.

Finally, it makes no sense to have a federal Minimum wage. The costs to live in Manhattan, New York are significantly higher than the costs to live in Manhattan, Kansas. The buying power of $8.00 is not the same nation-wide, so why should there be a federal Minimum wage?  In fact, 20 states already have a minimum wage higher than the federal standard, so a significant number of workers will not be helped by the proposal anyway. But pushing for a higher minimum wage does focus the attention of the "Hey look -- a squirrel"  crowd from the utter failure that is ObamaCare.

Progressives want to make the minimum wage part of a dialogue about income disparity in America. That discussion can only happen if we are willing to consider all of the economic influences that affect economic activity and wages, including illegal immigration, the devaluing of the dollar, and the the governmental debt that weighs down the economy like a swimmer wearing cement flippers.

Feed the bureaucracy

Remember that lousy Leonardo DiCaprio movie from 2006 called Blood Diamond? It told the tragic tale of how diamonds are used to finance terror and human rights abuses. It is one of those stories that compels the stars of the movie to go to Congress and pose as experts. We saw the same thing about farms a decade or two ago when actors and musicians who never stepped foot in a muddy cornfield were suddenly experts on the plight of the small family farm.

According to that fantastic and highly reliable source Wikipedia:

Conflict minerals are minerals mined in conditions of armed conflict and human rights abuses, mostly in the eastern provinces of the Democratic Republic of the Congo, by the Congolese National Army, and various armed rebel groups, including the Democratic Forces for the Liberation of Rwanda (FDLR) and the National Congress for the Defense of the People (CNDP), a proxy Rwandan militia group.

 Under Federal Law (including the Frank-Dodd Act ) any publicly traded company now has to prove to the SEC that neither it, nor any company in its supply chain uses conflict minerals in the production of its goods.  The result is a massive database and reporting requirements.  Every supplier must report on its suppliers.

This is exactly the kind of ridiculous reporting and effort companies must do to keep the ravenous bureaucracy fed. How many employees did the Federal Government have to hire to follow up with every company to make sure the reports are filed and correct?  How many lawyers did we, as taxpayers, hire to prosecute businesses that do not file the proper paperwork?  How much have we added to the cost of goods and services to hire a person at each company in the supply chain to file the reports with the Feds?

Why I will never buy anything at Barnes and Noble again

This is an email I sent yesterday to the Barnes and Noble customer service department and the company CEO:

Dear Mr. Riggio,

I am writing to tell you why I will never buy anything from your company again. Based on our recent experience with your Customer Service department  I am certain no one will read, respond, or care about this email , but I will feel moderately better getting this off my chest.

At approximately 3:15 pm on December 7 my wife placed an order for three items on your website. These were Christmas gifts. The system told her two items were available now, the last would arrive in 1-2 weeks. She chose the option for free shipping since all items would be delivered in time for Christmas.

At 3:47 she received a confirming email that none of the items would ship until December 30. This is clearly after Christmas and very different from an arrival in 1-2 weeks. She immediately called your customer service department. It seems one of the three items is back ordered. We understand. These things happen and that is not our complaint.

Your Customer Service Department (I use that term loosely) said they cannot ship the two items that are available because we selected the ship all at once button. That choice was also selected based on the parts being available. The representative said we cannot cancel the order since "the two remaining are already packed". Now I am sure you have a great shipping department, but you do not process an order and pack and ready for shipment within one hour. Further, it is an insult to my intelligence to claim you pack a box with two items and leave the box sitting around for a month waiting on the third item to arrive. If that is your policy, you should immediately fire your management team and is a prime indicator of why Barnes and Noble is in financial difficulty. My wife repeatedly offered to pay the shipping on the two items, or even all three. Supposedly two items are in a box, but you won’t ship them. And we cannot cancel the order.

The only suggestion we got from your customer service team after being placed on hold by four different people for a total of two and one half hours was to wait until the items arrive in early January, refuse the shipment or send it back and we will be credited the purchase amount. It is unacceptable to wait 4-6 weeks to get a refund on items you failed to ship as promised.  You wasted no time in charging my debit card, however.  That you can do with your system. You are efficient in taking a customer's money.

I understand that the terms of the order stated "limited" changes could be made, but the items are not shipping according to the terms of the order.  I have worked in sales and customer service for more than 30 years. I have never heard of an order entry system that does not allow changes or cancellations of an order, especially an hour or so after the order was placed.

So you will get your puny $65 sale for the Christmas season. Your refusal to ship the in-stock items (that are supposedly in a box!) or cancel the order has lost you a customer for life. In the end, you will get the use of the money for however long it takes us to return the items (whenever they arrive). I hope those pennies were worth it to lose two customers for life and your company's reputation damage to however many people I can spread this tale of inept, lousy and insufferable customer service. Since those customer service representatives are the face of your company to the public I can only assume your company profile is one that is uncompromising, inefficient and uncaring.

Joe Hoosierboy

 Feel free to join in my boycott if you like. There is no obligation.

A bloggity face palm

I cannot believe I let the anniversary of Pearl Harbor pass yesterday with nary a comment. I guess December 7 is a day that will live in infamy for about 50 years.

I put in a new kitchen faucet yesterday. There was a minimum of swearing, I only had to re-tighten one connection after turning the water back on. I only had to make one trip to Lowes (a new water line since the old copper one did not fit the new faucet length). The thing  works as advertised. I am not sure how to handle this kind of success in a home improvement project, especially since I removed the garbage disposal and most of the drain pipes to make access easier. I fully expected to see the kitchen flooded with water when I got up. Nope, all is still dry this morning.

Have a great Sunday.

Friday Music - I'm too lazy to post semi-meaningful content on Saturday edition

Friday Music

This tune is doubly appropriate in light of our first real snowfall overnight.

This is the Wife's decrepit willow bench in the backyard coated with snow. Very wintery, eh wot?

Why stop at a "living" wage?

Fast Food workers are going on strike (again) for an increase in the minimum wage. Some argue they need $15/hr minimum. Why not $20, $30, or $40 per hour? Why would we want folks to make a paltry amount, barely enough to survive when they could be living large? Why should we pay a brain surgeon hundreds of thousands of dollars when a cashier pushing picture buttons on a cash register only is raking in $13,000 per anum? How much is too much to pay the person making your Locos Doritos at Taco Bell? If you believe in a minimum wage, what is the limit? 

If we doubled the wages of a typical  burger flipper, the restaurant owner will have to either raise prices or reduce expenses. He could reduce the quality of his food, make smaller portion sizes or hire fewer people. The owner must accomplish this while keeping her customer base happy.

An increase in minimum wage affects more than just Billy Burger Flipper. The worker picking the lettuce, the man grinding the meat into patties, the Mom working 3rd shift running the machine that cuts spuds into fries, the truck driver hauling it all to your local burger joint all are getting a raise too. That burger used to cost the restaurant owner $5 to make, now costs him $7 (plus now she has to pay for insurance for all workers under the dictates of ObamaCare -- you did not think that stuff was free did you?).  Instead of selling the burger Combo for $7.35, now the owner has to sell it for $9.00. Duplicate this scenario for clerks at a convenience store, your grocery stock man, a WalMart worker. Costs go up everywhere, so an increase in wages results in higher unemployment and inflation (everything costs more). The increased buying power generated  through the big boost in wages is wiped out by higher prices everywhere.

Who loses their job in this scenario? Who bears a disproportionate share of the higher costs? Who is most affected by inflation and increases in the cost of living? Why the low wage earner!

Why I still read blogs

THIS  is probably the funniest post I have read in weeks. You made my day, baby.

The End is Nigh

This is what liberalism has wrought.  

My neighbors keep their dog chained in the backyard, I suspect that is a violation of the 14th Amendment.

Elvis passed out Cadillacs to his buddies, but you are gonna wish you did not have one when it comes to your health insurance

2013 and 2014 is the year of sticker shock for those who have private insurance coverage. In 2014 Obamacare's built-in cost increases and cancellations will hit many of those who have employer-offered health insurance, particularly those who work at small businesses or companies.

"If you like your plan, you can keep it" will enter the list of legendary lies, right up there with " the check is in the mail" and "I won't cum in your mouth".

In 2018 those who have really good insurance and were lucky enough to keep it, like the Public Sector Unions and Auto workers, will be affected in another way. ObamaCare dictated minimum standards in its first phase. It penalizes if your coverage exceeds a maximum standard later.  In other words, if your deductible is too low, or your out-of-pocket is minimal, or you have really, really good insurance, you have to pay a fine. This is the penalty on "Cadillac Coverage".

We are all required to have the same crappy insurance, or else. But ObamaCare is not socialized medicine, no way, no how.  Remember, the Democrat Party is 100% responsible for this mess.  No one else, only Democrats. They passed it, now you are finding out what is in it. BOHICA America.

But mostly I was waterboarding terrorists

We moved into this house on October 19. The only water we used prior to that point was to wash out paint brushes. I did occasionally take a leak. The water bill cut off on October 25. From October 2 (when they were supposed to read the meter) until October 25 we used 11,000 gallons of water according to the water company. From 10/25 to November 25 we used 3,100 gallons of water. The wife called on November 7th  to complain that the bill could not be right for October. The water company claimed we must have a leak and they would send someone to check for leaks on December 2. There are no leaks. There are no leaks in the house, there are no soggy places in the yard, and the mysterious leak would not fix itself by the November meter reading. Whomever read the meter was off by 100 units. We probably used 10 units, not 110. The water company says someone must have used our water. They say I have to prove the meter was read wrong.

UPDATE. The water man just checked for leaks.  Of course there aren't any. But he did allow that the "old" meter was replaced by a new one on November 1. Looks like the water company is trying to make me pay for a defective or leaking meter.

Soporific Scribblings

I've been treating the old blog badly as of late. I have neglected it it for long stretches at a time, at least by my standards. By extension that means I am neglecting you, my last five or six readers. For that I am sorry.

We had a great Thanksgiving, gathering with family at my Mom's in the afternoon.  Then, since one giant meal was not enough, we went to my wife's family in the evening to do it all again! I am still full. My oldest son had to work Thanksgiving, so he came over on Wednesday evening for a big lasagna dinner. The oft-used image of Mr. Creosote comes to mind. I hope your Thanksgiving was as enjoyable as mine.

Friday, the Boy helped me drag the Christmas boxes from the attic and we did the outside decorations. I put up the trees inside and helped the wife wrap garland around the stairs. I put up the second tree yesterday.

You are now caught up on the mundane details of my life. Do you feel better?

Say, you might toss a buck or some loose change into the red buckets manned by the Salvation Army bell ringers.