Opening Day

Baseball season brings high hopes and low expectations. It is not easy being a Cubs fan.

Weekend Funny

I miss Johnny

If I was a reporter

...I would ask why only 5 million people have signed up for ObamaCare, when there are 40 million. 30 million, 16 million uninsured in the country? I would investigate why it is that of the 5 million who have obeyed the law and signed up at the exchanges by March 31, it is estimated that 4 million enrollees are people who lost their coverage due to ObamaCare. I would ask why only 1/16, at most, of the uninsured are now covered?

I would ask why the American taxpayer is on the hook for a $1.5 trillion dollar boondoggle to insure 5 million people? I would question the Democrats who designed this monstrosity how they can claim it is in any way affordable when the Affordable Care Act costs $300,000 to insure each sign-up?

If I was a reporter  I would tell my readers/viewers the truth: President Obama has gutted, pushed out, and changed the rules of the ACA far more than the leaders of the Republican Party desired and all in the name of helping fellow Democrats hide from the disaster that is my eponymous law until after the next election. 

Friday Music -- I gotta have one of those hats edition

I'm late getting to the old blog this morning. What say we hippy it up on this rainy and chill Friday morning?

I need one of those hats. Not want, need.

Please no

The idea of Clinton vs. Bush for President in 2016 scares me to no end.  I think America has had enough of both families to last a lifetime.

Since you are tired of my insane political rantings

Some days I think I fell through the looking glass into a bizzaro world. I think I am a modern Rip Van Winkle where America has turned exactly 67 degrees off course. Companies are in front of the Supreme Court arguing about the benefits they pay their employees. Russia invades neighboring countries and our President announces he is going to cut two of the most effective weapon systems we have, with no replacement alternative in the pipeline. The First Lady takes a vacation to China and refuses to allow the press to accompany her and the media is OK with that. We celebrate sustained unemployment levels of 7% or more as a "recovery". Gas prices have tripled, and the administration is refusing to allow new pipelines to be built.

The enemies of Israel proclaim they will never agree that Israel is a legitimate Jewish State, yet our Secretary of State argues it is Israel that is holding up the peace process.

Schools subject the kids to lunch inspection, and in some cases ban sack lunches from home. School kids are suspended for shaving their head in support of fellow students fighting cancer, and little boys are punished for being little boys and biting a pop tart into the shape of a gun. Imaginary bows shooting imaginary arrows are handled as if the miscreant had actually shot a fellow student. parents sue soccer leagues because their kid who is sadly confined in a wheelchair cannot compete with the active two-legged players.

I have been told about the dangers of mercury my whole life and through the vote of politicians I now have to replace perfectly functioning light bulbs in my house with mercury-filled bulbs that cost ten times more in the name of preventing Global Warming despite the fact that there has not been any warming for 17 years. The models are so inaccurate they cannot even predict the weather going back in time.

I think common sense has disappeared, a victim of political correctness and pure ignorance. I am so tired of tilting at windmills. I stand alone shaking my fist at hurricane-force winds of change I do not understand.

OMG Women are going to die -- fear mongering among the ignorant masses

The great slut women's rights advocate Sandra Fluck has spoken.  According to her near-hysterical rantings if Hobby Lobby wins their fight with ObamaCare, women will die, and women's rights will be set back to -- well 2008 standards.  You remember those horrid and evil days when companies determined what benefits they wanted to offer their employees?  Yes, women's rights will be set back 6 whole years.  Can she really be this clueless? As I said yesterday, win or lose, the Hobby Lobby decision will in no way impact a woman's access to birth control.

I will type that last sentence real slow so some of you progressives and Democrats can keep up:

Win or lose, the Hobby Lobby decision will in no way impact a woman's access to birth control.

Just because Hobby Lobby does not want to pay for it...

The owners of the retail chain Hobby Lobby have a religious and moral objection to paying for contraception and specifically pills that cause abortion. The rules of ObamaCare force the company to cover these products. The issue is now before the Supreme Court.

Earlier today radio news reports played audio of hysterical protesters outside the court claiming Hobby Lobby is endangering the protester's health. Get a grip, protest babes. Unless you work for Hobby Lobby,  their policies do not affect you at all. Second, the lawsuit does not deny anyone access to said products, it merely states that the company should not be forced to pay for them. Even if you work at Hobby Lobby, you can have all of the sex you desire, protected and unprotected, you can take the morning after pill, you can have an abortion. The costs will not be covered under your company-provided benefits.

 These bosses don’t agree with birth control, so they want to take away their employees’ birth-control coverage. That’s just plain offensive,” declares NARAL. “Women and families should determine what medications they need. Your birth control is not your boss’s business!” The group is also intending to bring the signatures of thousands that it has gathered online to show support for the birth control mandate. source

Indeed "[y]our birth control is not your bosses business". I think Hobby Lobby would agree.

No one is denied anything. Women will have the same rights to acquire and use contraception regardless of whether Hobby Lobby wins or loses. Yes, young lady, your body remains yours -- do with it what you will. You gotta pay to play, if you work at Hobby Lobby. No one is telling you that you can't, just the company will not pay for it. If you cannot grasp the difference you are either stupid, or willfully ignorant.

yawn

I stayed up late last night.  We were catching up some recorded shows on the DVR and it was 12:30 before I climbed into bed. For some reason I was awake at 5:30 this morning.  I tossed and turned until just before 6:00 and decided to get up.  I munched on some Cap'n Crunch and swilled some coffee while I watched the sun send the first orange rays across my backyard.

There is no light snow cover on the ground this morning as predicted by the weather watchers. There is that.

I had to reload a significant number of apps to my iPhone this morning. I deleted a bunch of stuff in order to free up enough memory to download the latest software update. I suppose I really need to eliminate some of the music, that is what is using most of the storage space. I don't want to. I like my copious music selections. Mick and the boys really did tell it like it is -- You can't always get what you want.

This post is a true double yawner -- one for me and my lack of sleep, one for you after reading this boring post.

I have questions

If the real concern over the HHS contraception mandate is protecting women's health and preventing unwanted pregnancies, why isn't the focus on abstinence? It is free and is 100% effective.

Weekend Funny

"I have no valid complaint against hustlers, no rational bitch, but the act of selling is repulsive to me. I harbor a secret urge to whack a salesman in the face, crack his teeth and put red bumps around his eyes."  Hunter S. Thompson The Rum Diaries

I never intended this to be a habit

Can you believe I have been publishing my shitty posts here for nine years?

I offer a sincere and heartfelt thank you to all of you who take the time to read and comment here, now and over the years.

#Ban descriptions

I thought the whole "Ban Bossy" thing was a one day news story.  Apparently it is a full-fledged movement among a segment of the population. Upon further reading it seems people are offended by the label "Bossy".  Seriously, don't we have some real issues to tackle in this nation?  Unemployment, taxes, the role of government, health care, terrorism, energy, education are all more important than a benign label. Are we at the point where a person is unable to describe another in any way?

On occasion my boss is well, Bossy. My wife and daughter are sometimes bossy. I am often bossy. I am also stubborn, opinionated and crass. Call the language police! If we are unable to describe a person by looks or by action the next generation of novels is going to be pretty boring.

He/she was a person. He/she contrasted sharply with the other person. He/she did or did not do some things that may be offensive to someone, somewhere. The End.

When did the Right To Not Be Offended enter into the Rights of Man?

Friday Music

Since yesterday was my birthday ( thanks for all of the gifts you cheap bastids) I am playing my favorite song today.



Oh wait, I guess I choose the music every Friday. Why am I doing all of the work around here?

What happens when you elect a guy president whose entire management experience was running a lemonade stand in his front yard in 1971?

In just two sentences the entire Obamacare debacle is articulated:

So Obamacare has resulted in higher costs, limited plans, restricted doctor options, a reduction of about 2.5 million full-time equivalent jobs and has failed to get the uninsured to actually sign up. If Obamacare isn’t a disaster, what does a disaster look like? source

52 times

If you have a steady hand you can balance an egg on its end at the equinox (12:57 pm EDT).  I bet you did not know that.

Blogpost jeopardy

Smooth Jif peanut butter and sugar-free apricot preserves on white Wonder bread, stale pretzels and a diet root beer.

Zippy title that draws your attention and makes you want to read more

I have a pounding headache this morning. Its epicenter is behind my right eye with pain waves spreading through my skull.  I think the root of my pain might be allergies signalling impending spring, the low pressure front that moved in overnight, or perhaps the general mendacity that permeates the Obama administration.

My current headache and usual morning snotfest brings to mind an important question that has bothered me for some time. Why is it necessary to have a special box to hide the tissues? Since the Kleenex and Puffs pop out of the slot in the top, everyone knows there are tissues hiding inside that decorative container. What is the point?

It is in the genes

In the early morning light yesterday morning I saw a hulking form come over the privacy fence in the back yard. It was a very large cat and it slunk along the fence line, behind the trees and sniffed under the evergreens. The big cat must have weighed more than 20 pounds. It climbed the fence and jumped away when I turned on the porch light. Later in the morning after the sun was fully up, I heard the cat growling under the spruce. Now I could see it was a big tom, tiger striped and it was after something, probably the bunny that lives under the tree.

I opened the patio door and the cat moved back unhurriedly along the fence and turning once more to glare in my direction, climbed the 6 feet of fence and leaped into the neighbor's back yard. A few moments later it scaled their fence and headed north.

He was back hunting in the early morning today. I have not seen the brute before this week. During the long weeks of snow cover this year, there were a plethora of rabbit tracks in the backyard, but no feline paw prints to be seen. I am not sure if this cat is new to the neighborhood, or has been shut up for the winter months, released to the wilds to hunt in the yet to arrive springtime warmth.

Happy St. Gertrude's Day

My calendar proclaims today is St.Patrick/s Day, or as my very Irish roommate used to call it, Amateur Night at the local bar. I suppose any gent who gets rid of snakes is worth celebrating. But for a variety of circumstances my own name might have been Patrick. My birth name is a long boring story (OK, I never really listened when my Mom went on about naming me something else).  I was not born on St. Joseph's day either. Since my family is heathen protestant from way back, the Saint's days did not figure into our names at birth. Too bad, some of the Saints who share my birthday are St. Benignus, St. Cuthbert, St. Tetricus, and St. Nicetus. If I ever have another kid, I am naming him Benignus. Maybe I should change the name of this blog to Breakfast with Benignus, or The Benignus Blog. or maybe The Cuthbert Chronicles. Dang, I finally come up with a catchy blog title nine years too late.

You know who really gets screwed over on March 17? St. Ambrose, that is who. And St. Gertrude. According to Catholic.org, "Gertrude was a mystic, gifted with visions. She befriended the Irish saints Foillian and Ultan. Gertrude is a patroness of travelers and gardeners". Gertrude was Irish, why aren't you swilling green beer in her honor today?  Today is St. Gertrude's day. Celebrate it.

At the moment I am not wearing green, though  I may put on a green T-Shirt later, or not, depending on my mood. I am wearing a faded and worn Cubs T-Shirt and jeans. I suspect that notion fails to rev the old motor of even one of my female readers, leave aside the fact I have not yet showered and my clothes probably smell faintly like the fried chicken I made for supper last night.

Logically illogical

Would any sane person argue that the Federal Income Tax is popular because almost every one fills out their 1040? Is obeying the speed limit proof we do not want to drive fast? Absurd right?

Then why would any sane person tout ObamaCare enrollment numbers as proof the program is a success? After all, failure to enroll results in a financial penalty and ultimately, if you refuse to pay your taxes, you go to prison. Liberals; you gotta love their logic. By their reasoning  I must love turds, since I tale a shit every day.

The willow is whipping the siding

Here we are on a windy, cold Sunday morning. The coffee is hot, classic rock is playing in the background. I have not posted anything for a while and I sit here staring at the cursor. The steady strobe of that little flashing SOB mocks me.

I left home last Sunday morning to do a trade show. If you have ever worked a trade show you know convention halls invoke some weird time warp where clocks only run at a fraction of the speed of normal time. You think you have stood there smiling for two hours only to look at the clock and see that a slow twenty minutes has passed.

I returned home Wednesday night, just in time to kiss the wife, eat some dinner, and sleep. I got up Thursday morning, answered some emails, packed and jumped on a jet plane for North Carolina. I stumbled back home to battle rush hour traffic (welcome to the North Side, Joe) around dinner time Friday.  From Sunday morning until Friday evening I spent about 15 hours at home. Not quite half of those were spent sleeping.

Tell me again how you wish you had my job. I am bitching, but I do generally like my work. This was an unusual week for me to be on the road so much. A decade ago this was a typical week. I had little kids at home then. That really sucked. Now it is the wife and she is used to me spending the nights in a hotel. After I spend the whole of this week in the office, she will be subtly asking if I have somewhere to go. After all, those hotel and airline points are about to get her a very nice anniversary trip in a few months.

I hope your week was good. I think I am going to go watch Rocky. You do not need an IMDB link to Rocky do you?

Friday Music

)

Seeing the live bands in Nashville reminded me of my youth when local bands could make a living playing in bars and dances. This band was a staple in my hometown and in Central Indiana back in the 1970's. Unfortunately, fame eluded them. Listen anyway, you just might like it.

Here is a bonus clip.

)

He's Alive

Tick Tock, like the March Hare I am in a hurry. More traveling to do yet this week. So far I have spent about 15 hours at home since early Sunday morning.

I will say this, if you have never spent time in downtown Nashville, TN you are missing out.  It is a fun town. Nashville is clean and when I was there seemed a very nice and safe place. Broadway and its branch streets is lined with bars and honky tonks and restaurants, most playing live music (not all of it country).

As far as news, or politics, or anything else...well you are going to have to wait.

Here is a canned post for a Tuesday Morning

Yes, a canned post containing Canned Heat. A nice symmetry there, or what? Especially since the song embodies the very reason I am providing you with canned, rather than fresh content. Circles within circles within circles...

You can't see my face, but trust me when I tell you I am half-frowning today

I probably should post something. Inattention to the old blog will lose my last three readers. I have spent the weekend doing stuff around the house.  I painted the master bath. That leaves the laundry room as the last yet-to-be-painted room. I thought the bath was the last room, but the wife informed me I was wrong. So was my response to the need to paint an f-ing laundry room. I also hung three new light fixtures. Two went well, one was a real bitch.

This week is going to be busy work-wise.  Posting my be light to nonexistent. I am pretty sure you will survive the trauma of stopping here and finding nothing new to get you through the day. But then I may post multiple times every day. One never knows. I would bet on few scribblings were I a betting man. But then I would be betting on whether or not I completed a certain task or tasks, and since I control my own actions it would be a sure win should I bet. I don't think the bookies would go for that. I am not a gambling man anyway.

Have a great day.

Friday Music

It is supposed to get to more spring-like temperatures around here, so I offer up a 'Spring" song for your entertainment.

Here is Dino's version:



That Cole Porter could spin a tune. Which version do you dig?

I'm confused

If, as Harry Reid maintains, the stories of dropped insurance coverage and increased costs to individuals because of ObamaCare are all lies, why does the administration keep moving out the implementation dates? If ObamaCare is not hurting anyone, why do we need to keep pushing out the law until after key elections?

Funny, Ted Cruz and Mike Lee were roundly criticized by Obama and Sebelius for suggesting the implementation dates should be delayed. "No way, no how" was the Democrat response to the Republican filibuster.  Now, Obama has changed the law via fiat and we do not hear a chirpity chirp from hypocritical, Democrats.

Five Million

From 1929 to 1933 more than 5 million Ukrainians died at the hands of their Russian masters. Stalin was determined to bring the independent farmers and the mostly rural population of the Ukraine to heel. Stalin "modernized" the Ukraine with the point of a bayonet, execution, starvation, and the Gulag. At the height of the enforced "famine" nearly 30,000 Ukrainians died every day. More than five million deaths, all in the name of progressive policies.

Think about that for a moment. Five million deaths. Line up the current population; men, women, children -- of Philadelphia, Dallas, San Francisco, Detroit, Cleveland, and New Orleans and kill every one over a four year period.  That is what Stalin did to the Ukraine. The Democrats in charge of the White House and Congress turned their head and pretended it was not happening.  In fact,  FDR recognized Stalin and the Soviet Union as a legitimate government.

Russia has invaded the Crimea area of Ukraine. I am pretty sure President Obama firmly believes that Fox News, Israel, and George Bush are to blame. The Commander-in-Chief is still probably looking at the various "lead from behind" options. I do not think there is truth to the rumor the Obama's had Chicken Kiev for dinner this week.

Hotel points, frequent flyer miles and adventures in traveling

There was a time when I traveled a lot. I woke in a hotel room 3-4 mornings each week and found myself in a flying metal tube 100 plus times each year. I visited most of the USA and got to see much of the world on the company's dime. I also was on the road as my kids grew up.  That I regret more than anything. But in fairness to myself, I rarely missed an important event, concert, play, or big game. But I missed out on every day life.

Now I travel much less. I spend about one night a week in a hotel and fly about once a month. There are road warriors out there who put me to shame, but I think it is fair to say I have spent more time in strange beds than your average bear. Note to reader: I originally had a metaphor about hookers and strange beds here but I could not make it work).

In my travels I never fail to be amazed at the capacity for human beings to be rude, selfish assholes. Yesterday morning I encountered what I call the early morning douchebag. This guy or gal makes their appearance about fifty percent of the time I am in a hotel. They exit their room and decide to stop and have a conversation on their phone or with a colleague right outside my door -- usually at 6:30 or so in the morning. Everyone in the hall gets to hear their brilliance. While I usually stay in decent, but not top tier hotels (think Hampton Inn, Hilton Garden, Courtyard, etc.), the doors are not usually soundproofed against assholery.

I will not further waste your time ranting about the asshats who occupy every table in the airport food court at dinnertime, typing on their laptop or watching movies on their iPad, while some of us wander in vain looking for a place to actually put down our tray of airport barbecue and eat. This happens to me regularly at the Charlotte airport. I also am exposed to the people who find it necessary to have a long and loud phone conversation in the boarding lounge. I have heard about medical conditions, finances, personal details to make anyone blush, and the minutiae of business deals. Don't those folks know everyone can hear them on the phone? Sometimes these jerks even use speakerphone! Once, at the Philadelphia airport, a guy was going over the details of his impending bankruptcy while on speakerphone with his attorney!

There are the people who cannot grasp the idea of a carry-on bag, like the guy who put his bag under the seat of the woman across the aisle (he "did not want it to take up his foot room", he explained to the attendant). I once watched a woman wheel a cart up to the Jetway door piled with luggage. This is back when you were allowed two bags and a purse, etc. She had a baby in a stroller with her.  When the gate agent questioned the pile of luggage the rude passenger explained, "I have two bags for me, two bags for her (pointing at the baby) and a purse for each of us.  The purse (purses?) were the size of small duffel bags. Boarding was halted for almost ten minutes as the woman argued. A supervisor was called and we all waited while the bitch made multiple trips to store her luggage on the plane. The lesson here is that if you fly first class you really can get away with almost anything.

After twenty years on the road, my stories are almost endless. I probably should have named this blog adventures in traveling. Then this piece o'crap blog would have had a purpose beyond self aggrandizement and  navel gazing. 

This Is what happens when you elect a Democrat

This time the Russians waited until after they hosted the Olympics to invade a neighbor.  I guess Hillary meant it when she gave Putin a reset button.  He took it as tacit approval to reset his nation back to the glory days of the USSR.

Too bad the wimp in the White House is not as tough on the truly bad guys in the world as he is on Fox News. Obama's weak response to continued belligerence from Iran, his failure to respond to attacks on the Embassy in Benghazi, and the vanishing line in Syria are clear proof the Russians are convinced Obama is a mere bag of wind.

Elections do have consequences.

Panic!

The SnowTeam/ScareTeam was in high dungeon this weekend in the face of a large winter storm that, as of Saturday morning, was going to dump up to 11 inches of nasty winter snow on my backyard. The forecast was only off by about 80% as we got perhaps two inches of snow. The soggy leaves and detritus of fall are still poking through the snow as I look out across my patio. How can the models be so wrong so often? These same "experts" want us to believe their dire prognostications of climate change fifty and a hundred years from now?  They can't get it right within a 12 hour window.

I am working from my kitchen table this morning. Our mattress is on the floor in my office, since the bedroom furniture is huddled in the middle of the master bedroom, waiting to be pushed and shoved back into their rightful stations along the newly painted walls. The wife is occupying said mattress and I thought it the polite thing to move downstairs to work for an hour or so until she gets up. I am a prince of an individual.

Anticipation

There is but one room in the house we have not painted. That situation will be remedied today. I understand I am going to paint the master bedroom this weekend. Men will do anything if they think there might be some nookie at the end.

Man I hate painting.

A view behind the curtain

I sat across the kitchen table from my wife at supper last night. She looked up at me and gave me a piercing look. "Has anyone ever told you that you are a witty, handsome, and intelligent man?" she asked.

I gave her my best lopsided grin. "Why no". I replied.

"Good" she intoned as she scooped up some mashed potatoes, "I do not want you to have any false illusions"

Friday Music

Makes me want to crack a beer and stroll down my pot-hole strewn memory lane.

Humans are jerks

What is wrong with people? In the past couple of weeks there have been some events that leave me sickened and baffled. First a guy won custody of his kid.  The wife failed to return the kid at the appropriate time so he killed her in the parking lot of a daycare center. He had won custody. His lawyer was in court as the shooting happened, filing papers on the wife. The ex-wife was not fleeing, she just did not agree with the court order, thus ensuring he would maintain custody. Now he does not have his kid either.

The second incident leaves me almost sick. A guy picked up his 14 year old son from junior high. When he failed to bring the kid to his ex-wife's at the appropriate time she called the police. The cops located the car some hours later.  It appears the father shot his son and himself in a murder-suicide. WTF? That kid had his whole life to live. What a selfish, asshole son-of-a-bitch prick. If the father could not live without his son, he should have crawled off and offed himself. There was no reason to kill an innocent kid. I hope that father spends eternity with the Devil's pitchfork rammed square up his ass.

I have never been divorced, but a friend of mine once summed up what I thought was the perfect attitude towards divorce and kids. He told me that it was not his kids fault their Mom and Dad could not get along, and it was his duty as a father to make sure the issues the parents have with each other do not affect the kids lives.

Everything I need to know I learned from Billy Jack

Several bloggers have commented on the insane legislation in Arizona that would make it legal to discriminate on the basis of "religion". Hasn't anyone in the Arizona legislature seen Billy Jack? (Didn't that epic film take place in Arizona?). Refusing service to a person because he is gay is no different than refusing service to a person based on skin color. Good god, is Arizona going to demand a pink star for the LGBT community next? This proposed law is but a short hop, skip and jump from legislating separate drinking fountains. 



On the other hand, I am not sure why anyone would want their wedding cake, for instance, baked by a person who did not want to make it. But then I always think people are going to spit in my food.  That is just one of many reasons I am always nice to waiters and waitresses.

Stuff that ticks me off

My coffee got cold while I was taking a shit this morning.

Next I will be out on the neighbor's swing set

I stepped into the kitchen last evening to take my medicine. The wife was out running some errands.  The little boy in me came to the fore unbidden. In a spontaneous moment, I hoisted myself up, one arm on the island the other on the counter top like a gymnast on the parallel bars. As I swung my legs forward my right elbow collapsed, I fell straight to the hardwood floor smacking both elbows on the counters on the way down and landing flat on my back.  At least I did not hit my head on the sink behind me. My only thought was "What an idiot" as I fell in what seemed like slow motion. For the first hour or two I thought I chipped a bone in my left elbow, but this morning I think it is just a calcium floater that has been there a while.

When did I get so old?  I used to be strong.  I know I am not in high school shape any more, but unable to hold my weight on straightened arms is just depressing. The more important question is what possessed me to try something so stupid in the first place?

I've worked hard

No matter your political position, this is funny.

The original:



h/t C&S

An American Tale

I sat down to watch a movie about Patrick Swayze. He was a kid from the wrong end of the tracks who was going to Wolverine Community College during the day and working as a bouncer in a tough bar by night. Everyone was always putting him down because they did not like his stereotype. Patrick fell in love with a doctor named Baby who wanted him to teach her to dance all awesome like only Patrick could.

There were a bunch of Spanish-speaking soldiers who were looking for Patrick and his gang, because they could dance and the soldiers couldn't. At some point Patrick kicked the Spanish soldier's resident martial arts expert's ass in a bar fight.  A girl wanted to get an abortion, and Patrick helped her make a clay pot In shop class.  This made everyone very angry and the crime bosses had an auto parts store burned down. A defiant Patrick Swayze danced with Baby in a suggestive manner. The soldiers put Patrick's dad in a concentration camp, and even worse -- the put Baby in a corner. They also ran over some cars with a giant 4-wheel drive truck.

Patrick tried to win them over with some incredible dancing, but in the end he had to round a bunch of his gang and go to war. He received coded messages from Whoopi Goldberg, who dressed up like a Wolverine in order to tell Patrick where to attack the Spanish speaking soldiers. Patrick did his amazing machine gun dance and won the war, and Baby's undying love. In the end, all of the rich white guys shook his hand and told Patrick they were wrong about him. Sadly, Patrick died at the hands of evil commies who ran a secret training center in the Catskill Mountains. In true never-give-up fashion Patrick came back as a ghost and haunted poor Baby for the rest of her life.

I might have fallen asleep at some point of the movie.

Rinse, repeat -- A post for my big brother

I'm off in a bit to do the hardwood floor thing. I hope it does not take three days for my muscles to recover this week.

Friday Music

I am not sure we have played CCR as a Friday Music selection. That injustice is now corrected.

Lighten Up, Francis

No heavy boring incomprehensible essays today. I woke to thunder and lightning and a steady rain this morning.  I am OK with that, you don't have to shovel rain!

I have a full day on tap. I hope you have a good day too.

What we have here is a failure to communicate

I had a lot of windshield time last week. Spinning through the dial I found myself listening to Rush. He repeatedly asked his callers why the left seemed determined to change the culture, to destroy "American values". Why is there an assault on the notion of hard work, religion, and traditional family?

Once again the answer can be found through studying history. There is a branch of political thought that maintains that only through the actions of the state can we all find true equality and thus happiness. The people who subscribe to this credo are certain that the misery of the human condition can only be resolved through the elimination of those things that cause worry, misery and discontent -- money, religion, and the artificial barriers to happiness created by the need to find housing, food, and health. The concept is simple. If we can eliminate money and religion and countries there would be no cause for war, for crime, for hatred. John Lennon stated it so eloquently in his song Imagine. I do not write that facetiously.

How do we reach this utopia? Philosophers and true believers have tried. Robert Owens and Mao were not so different in their beliefs. In order for the state to succeed in banishing inequality, you must eliminate all barriers to the state. First you must eliminate religion. If a citizen is worshiping a god, then he feels superior to another who may worship a different god, or who may believe in none at all. Moral righteousness comes from the state, not a belief system. No one may claim moral superiority if we all live under the same moral guidance. There is no judgement if we all believe the same. We must all work for each other. The collective whole is superior to anything, including god and family. It takes a village to raise a child. It is not a coincidence that since time immemorial kings and despots have declared themselves gods. There can be nothing superior to the State.

You must make everyone equal economically. Whether you eliminate the wealthy, or elevate the poor so all are on equal footing, the result is equal poverty. There is no envy if we all have the same clothing, the same living conditions, the same toilet paper.

Artificial political barriers must be eliminated. Patriotism breeds resentment and hatred. America is not superior to Mexico, Citizens of Chad are equal to those of Belgium. Governments cause wars. A League of Nations, a United Nations, A Star Trek-inspired Federation will eliminate the need for armies to destroy each other over an imaginary line on a map. The true progressive believes we are citizens of the Nation of Man. That is why they do not like immigration laws and patriotic flag waving. For the World Citizen, the Stars and Stripes are a symbol of war, hatred and inequality.

Whether the experiment was pre-John Smith Jamestown, the French Revolution, Brook Farm, New Harmony, the Soviet Union, Communist China, Castro's Cuba, or modern Venezuela, the pattern is remarkably unchanged. Sadly, the experiments always end in failure.

Why should we study history?

I have some stuff  I want to say, but the essays will be long and complex. That brings to mind two immediate problems; nay three. First, I have proven time and again I lack the requisite writing skills to present my postulations clearly. It is probably a good thing I turned away from my youthful dream of finding employment as a historian. Next, you do not want to read a long political essay. You are either on board with right thinking political expressions or you are at heart a bleeding fucking commie/commie-light, or idiot. Sadly, there is no other choice. There is no capitalist-light category. Finally, ranting and raving in these pages is akin to shouting at the wind. Even if I somehow found some up-to-this-point undiscovered writing skills and a willing audience, I am not sure I have the desire to spend hours researching and outlining the historical and political underpinnings of my thesis.

I have often stated my position that history never repeats itself. But it does provide a window to human behavior. History offers real-life lessons on the mistakes made by humans. The road to tyranny is a slow-moving highway. It is rush hour on the Dan Ryan, five o'clock on the 101, The George Washington Bridge after a Governor Christie temper tantrum. History is replete with examples of free men sliding into bondage.  The Roman Gracchi, the Empire of Napoleon, and yes, at the risk of losing all credibility, even the rise of Hitler are perfect examples of free citizens giving a little bit of freedom at a time until they wake one day living under the autocratic thumb of an Emperor, a king, a dictator.

So the President changes the implementation date of a law; big deal, say his supporters. The delay is what we all wanted anyway. Maybe he is bending the Constitution with his Executive Orders or his administration's failure to enforce laws he does not like. "What do I care?" says the truly ignorant. Heck, the Senate/Assembly/Reichstag/Congress cannot agree on the right path anyway. At least someone is willing to step up and do the right thing for the people...

Losing your freedom is a bit like being a little bit pregnant. It is an all or nothing proposition.

Ah fuck it. I was right in the first paragraph.

Ow, ow, ouch

Saturday I helped a friend put in a hardwood floor. We did not get done with the big room (20 x 20) and he still has the rest of the house to do. I have never helped do hardwood. It was fun and different and not nearly as hard as you would think.  I functioned like I always do in this guy's home improvement projects -- an apprentice helper. I carried in the boxes of flooring, laid out the pattern, and helped push the boards into place while he operated the nailer After about five hours we were both beat. I told him I would come back Sunday.

Luckily he did not call. Yesterday and today my hamstrings hurt. Bad. I feel like an 80 year old guy. My thighs burn with pain every time I try to get up or down.  The stairs are agony. The first few seconds after I get out of a chair I hobble like an old man. Bending to pull on my jeans this morning was a chore.Youth, why have you forsaken me?

Miscellaneous Monday

You saw it, I do not think anyone else did. The gen-pop will get another opportunity another day. For those of you confused by the opening to this post, that means you are getting a post fresh from the oven this morning. It is a catch-all holiday Monday honoring the Chief Executives of the country -- Lincoln, Washington, T.R., Reagan and yes Carter, Buchanan, and William Henry Harrison who has to be the most ineffectual President ever.  This means I am off work today. Lucky me. I get a day off in the middle of winter, with more snow and ice and wintry goodness scheduled.  I just may have to go down to the cigar shop this afternoon. Curse you groundhog.

We have had record snowfall this winter. I live on a cul-de-sac and that meas most of the front yards are semi-pie shaped. Due to the irregular shape of our court, the stretch in front of my house and the neighbor to the north there is a long open space.  In fact, this is the only real place that leaves significant room between driveways. Out of necessity, the plow shoves all of the snow from the street into my front yard. We now have a mound of icy, chunky, snow some 6-8 feet high and 20 feet in diameter in front of our house. There is nowhere else to put the snow.

The result is the snow has encroached into the area in front of my mailbox. I have shoveled it away as far as possible, but there is an ice wall about three feet away from my mailbox. My mail lady refuses to bring my mail since she can not drive up and poke in the bills by reaching through her little truck window. She would have to put one foot out of the truck and lean forward to reach the mailbox.

I understand the driver is not suppose to get out, it is not a walking route. But it is not like I don't shovel.  My drive and sidewalks are always cleaned off.  I am one of the first in the cul-de-sac to clean the snow.  I have managed to move a significant amount from the snow mountain, breaking one snow shovel in the process, but now I am at the core of the my local Mt. Everest and it is rock-hard and solid ice.

I chased the snow plow driver down Friday evening and explained that I have received mail once in the past 8 days due to his snow pile.  He looked at the mound and told me "I can't move that." I replied that I sure could not move it with a shovel. He clipped away the edges but there is really nothing anyone can do. The mail lady drove right past again Saturday.

I hope to catch the mail lady tomorrow and ask her what she proposes for the snow mountain.  If she continues to refuse to deliver I guess I will have to call the postmaster. What really honks me off is my neighbor to the north has not shoveled even one flake of snow all winter.  He just drives through the mess in his driveway. Since his mailbox is on the other side of his driveway, my lazy neighbor gets his mail, while I rant in silent frustration.

Stuff I have seen

Festung Marienberg, Wurzburg, Germany

Friday Music, you guess the theme edition

And this is the greatest album cover ever:

EVER!

The snows of Charlotte, Part Two

reuters.com

I imagine you last left this old blog screaming at the screen "What happened next?" .

Or not.

To refresh your memory, in spite of dire weather forecasts, I had made my way to Charlotte North Carolina on the eve of an expected blizzard. Let us pause to answer the most basic of questions you are asking the electronic me -- "Why did you go when you knew the weather would be bad?"  The answer is easy, it is my job. I have been burned numerous times over the years by cancelling  trips based on the wildly inaccurate weather models only to find that the whole event was over-hyped and and the expected weather pulled a Hank Williams and failed to show. My customers are open year-round, not just in summer. I have suffered a few times for taking chances, most notably the three days I was stuck in Harrisburg, PA in a hotel that had just lost its liqueur license.

Anyway, I was holed up Tuesday night in a nice hotel.  I watched the weather and went to bed, prepared to sit on hold with the airlines again in the morning. I woke with a germ of an idea in my head. I looked out the window to see a snow-free parking lot. I turned on the local news and saw the snow was not supposed to hit until 8 or 9 in the morning. I called my customer and left a message to see if we could move our meeting up a few hours. I took a quick shower and headed down for breakfast.

It was still early, not quite seven o'clock. Still no snow as I ate an omelet and drank some Java. I was back in my room packing when my  phone dinged an incoming email signal.  The customer wrote that our meeting was cancelled; the plant was closed!  YES! something was going right!

You see, this weather front was moving straight up from the south.  If I could get going north out of town, I could get ahead enough to miss out on the bad weather before I had to turn west. I called the rental car company to let them know I was turning in the car in Indianapolis instead of Charlotte. I threw my bag into the Mustang and pointed my way up I-77.

The interstate through downtown Charlotte was nearly empty as I made my way under cloudy skies. The radio had no connection for my iPhone, so I was stuck with finding local radio stations. For some reason the radio would only search and scan for religious programing. I don't know if that was a sign, or the actions of the previous driver. In any case I had to search out demon rock and roll and evil right-wing talk radio by hand twirling the dial.

I rode that Mustang through North Carolina, and both Virginias before turning west toward Kentucky in Charleston. We galloped through the bluegrass country, turning back north toward Cincinnati and then into the Hoosierland. I zipped past Batesville, where the caskets are made, and rode past my old stomping grounds of Greensburg and Shelbyville. My Mustang and I were in the homestretch. After more than ten hours I found myself back at the Indy airport.  I recovered my own car and arrived back home, tired but sporting a firm sense of victory over the forces that spin a capricious fate over the frequent traveler.

Hey, if you want drama you should watch TV. Oh, I did drop my debit card under the rental car when I tried to get money from a drive-up ATM.  Is that exciting enough?  What if I told you I murdered and dismembered a  hitchhiker somewhere in the West Virginia mountains after he caught me running moonshine down into the flatlands.  What if I described in Penthouse Forum detail a sexual adventure in the back seat of the Mustang with a beautiful blond named Annie? And her twin sister named Amie? I suppose I could relate how gunmen from a rival family tried to shoot me down when I stopped at a tollbooth.

I did drop my ATM card.  I simply pulled forward and picked it up.

The snows of Charlotte, Part One.

charlotteobserver.com

If you watch the weather you know the southeast got whacked with severe weather this week. I had the joy of flying into Charlotte on Tuesday evening. My flight in was delayed several hours as the plane was late, then the delays put too many hours on the crew.  We then had to wait for qualified pilots. I am OK with waiting on qualified pilots.  Who wants the baggage handler guy or red wand waving guy flying the plane?

When I was getting off the plane, my phone rang with the notice my return flight, scheduled for Wednesday evening, had already been cancelled. Shitfuck. I did a quick scan of the board and all flights back to Indy on Tuesday evening were cancelled. So was almost every other flight at the normally busy airport. The line at the airline service desk snaked down the concourse. I headed for the  rental cars.

The rental car bus dropped me off at the super secret elite frequent rental car driver drop point. The sign board directed me to stall 51. There, white paint gleaming under the sodium lights, was a shiny clean Ford Mustang. Yes, in the face of one of the worst ice and snow storms to ever hit the area,  I was given the only real-wheel drive car on the lot.  These same people upgraded me to a SUV on three straight trips late last summer and fall. This time I get the sports car. I headed to the hotel, that old I'm-going-to-get-stuck-here feeling left me depressed.

After a quick dinner of chicken wings and a couple of Yeunglings I called my super secret elite frequent flyer number. I was put on hold to wait the next customer service rep. After 1/2 hour on hold I used the hotel phone to call the general airline customer service number. I was put on hold. I now had dueling on-hold messages and music playing in both ears, one on speaker, one on a receiver glued to my head. Tick tock. Tick tock. I tried to play a few games on my iPad. Finally, after nearly two hours on hold I heard a real live voice on the cell phone  "Hello Joseph..."  I hung up the hotel phone and grabbed my cell off the table. In my haste to turn off the speaker I accidentally hung up the phone.


Then I cried.

At least inside. I also cursed myself vigorously.

I checked availability of flights on-line. It looked like Friday was my next opening. I made a half-hearted attempt to call the airline back and left the phone on hold for another 40 minutes before giving up, ready to try again in the morning. I turned on the local news and watched the grim weather forecast. I called down to the front desk to see if  I could extend my stay. The clerk said that may be a problem. He said a lot depended on the number of cancellations they got on Wednesday. I said to put me on the list.  I decided on the spot to hold back the Mr. Asshole routine and did not even trot out my super secret elite frequent hotel sleeper diamond status card. I decided to wait and see what bad news Wednesday would bring.

to be continued...

Wayback Wednesday

I may have published this before. When you write 4,300 plus posts one tends to forget what was presented previously. This is one of my favorite pictures. This is my wife and daughter taken one winter day in what had to be early 1987.

Do the Van Halen thing (jump)

If ObamaCare is so great...

...why does the President keep delaying implementation?

High hopes, low expectations

Spring training is right around the corner. I need that knowledge as I look at the temperature reading of -14 on my iPhone.

Animal Crackers in my soup

Long time readers know I love old movies. I was never a big Shirley Temple fan, though. But the news readers tell me the actress/ambassador has passed on to wherever we go when we pass on (you beliefs may vary). RIP Curly Top.

Hello, My name Is Jim

I had to talk to a customer service department today. The guy who answered was clearly Indian (subcontinent, not reservation). He told me his name was Jim.  He had a very thick accent and I was instantly pissed off. Not because he was answering from India, but because he claimed his name was Jim. Had he told me to call him Ganesh, or Raj or Anoop, or even Dhruv , I would have been fine.  When he pretended his name was Jim he lost all credibility with me. How could I believe anything he said?  Our entire conversation started with a lie. Every word after the introduction was based on a foundation of falsehood.

Cleveland, The Rodney Dangerfield of Cities

I am reading Jim Bouton's baseball classic Ball Four. I ran across this passage which cracked me up:

Flying in to Cleveland last night I thought about life in this great American city and decided that if you were going to crash on a Cleveland flight it would be better if it was an inbound flight.

Bouton has the same sarcastic, dry sense of humor I occasionally display around my family and friends.

Stuff I have seen

St Maartin  2013

Wish I was there.

Live blogging my breakfast, or How to bore both of your loyal readers to tears

I sit at the breakfast table munching a bowl of Corn Pops this morning. The sun is rising bright in the eastern sky. The brightness belies the frigid temperatures. The backyard is covered with snow. There is a drift across the patio. I can see two Bradford pear trees from where I sit. The one on the right hand side is covered in fluffed-up robins. There are probably 20 birds hopping from branch to branch and fluttering around before landing again. There are no birds in the left hand tree, even though they are only about 10 yards apart. Weird that. I don't know when the robins arrived. They were not here last week, now they are in the pear, in the willow, all around. It seems early for the birds to come back from their southern vacation. The rabbit has been out scavenging for food under the pear trees too. He left tracks everywhere.  It is a regular nature preserve there in the backyard. Today is an office day and I am on my second cup of coffee. The Keurig makes a nice cup of Caribou.  School is on a 2 hour delay this morning due to the cold. According to my phone it is currently -9. I can see the buses going down the street beyond the neighbor's back yard to the elementary school down the street. My youngest is coming home from college for a visit this weekend.  I have only seen him once for a few hours since he headed back to school December 26. I miss him. I am currently reading Jim Bouton's seminal baseball memoir Ball Four. Well, not at this moment. There is nothing like reading a best seller 40 years after it hit the charts. I hear the office phone ringing. I guess that means I need to head upstairs and see who it was. I will never get my ass up there in time to answer it.

Friday Music

Gotta dig the blues

Do not be a f-ing tourist

This is truly one of the issues of the day. A decade ago I averaged 125 flights a year. I spent a lot of time in an airplane. These days I fly around 30 flights annually. That is not much compared to some road warriors, but still far more time in flying aluminum tubes than your average traveler. I have a friend who travels every week. He and I agree, the biggest problem with flying is the "fucking tourists". Not only do they get cheaper fares, they have no idea how to travel respectfully.

Here are my rules for reclining your seat and flying in general:

1. If it is a day flight of under two hours you have no need to recline your seat -- ever. If you cannot sit upright for two hours you have issues and should see a doctor.

2. Do not ever recline your seat and then lean forward to work on your laptop like the jerk in front of me did a few weeks ago.

3. Do not recline your seat during meals.

4. I know you are nervous. It is not my job to converse with you to calm your anxiety. Read your seatmates body language.  I am holding a book because I want to read it, not as a conversation starter.

5. If your bag does not fit in the overhead, cramming will not help.

5a. If you are unable to lift your bag into the overhead without help, check it, or put it under your seat.

6. One bag and a purse or briefcase: that over-sized duffel bag is not a fucking purse and you are not fooling anyone. Storage space is limited and your assholery only takes away space from someone else. I know baggage fees suck. Pack less, pack more efficiently or check your damn bag.

6A. The overhead space is for everyone. You are not guaranteed the space above your seat. A guy once went rabid dog on me for putting my bag above his seat. The attendant had to restrain him from following me down the aisle demanding I move my stuff from "his bin". Like I said -- fucking tourists.

6b. The space under the seat in front of you is yours. You cannot put your stuff under the seat in front of me.  Yes, I have seen jerks try this -- one guy put his bag under the seat across the aisle. His argument to the attendant who told him to move it -- "I need the legroom, she doesn't"!

7. If you are on short flight on a puddle jumper (small commuter flight) you do not have to work. If you have not prepared for your meeting, that extra 30 minutes is not going to help, and your elbow in my side while you try to manage your laptop is just rude.

8. Have your ticket ready when they call your zone or row.

9. Read the TSA rules before you go to the airport. You are going to have remove liquids from your bag. Do not make everyone wait while you unpack your suitcase. If you forget, move your shit off the line and let those of us who are prepared go through while you rifle your belongings.

9A if you are wearing 30 pounds of jewelry you will set off the metal detectors. I know you think you look nice, but you are fucking up the process.  

10. Go easy on the perfume and cologne when flying. Some of us do not like the scent as well as you do, especially when we cannot escape the odor.

10a If you have long hair, there is no need to flip it over the seat back into my space. You may not want to lean on it, but I don't want it in my Diet Coke.

Remember how she was too broke to buy a box of rubbers

But now she has the funds to run for political office.

I guess her only aim in life is to live off of the taxpayers in one way or another.

A letter to my son

Dear son,

I hope your classes at the university are going well. I miss you and wish you were here.

I need someone to shovel this fucking driveway.

Love,

Dad


For the first time all year it took me two sessions to shovel the drive. Last night's 7+ inches 8+ inches of snow was wet and heavy. The issue is compounded by the three feet of snow already lining the drive.  I have to throw it a bit higher. Really, I usually like winter, but I am looking ahead to spring earlier than usual.

I am sure this crap would stop if the neighbors would just turn off their damn Christmas lights.

More snow last night and a few more inches scheduled for later today.

The Olympic Games start this week. I could not be less interested.

I have to do something to shake the case of the mean reds that are affecting me. If you do not understand that reference your knowledge of classic films is lacking. 

Doldrums

Football is over with the attendant over-hype and over-reaction. Sorry pundits, Manning is not now a bum.  He did not lose the game. The Broncos sure did though. Manning certainly contributed, but I did not see number 18 on special teams, and he certainly did not give up 43 points on defense. I am not a basketball fan, and while pitchers and catchers report next week, meaningful baseball is still six weeks away. I do not have much expectation the Cubs will be much fun to watch again this year.

More winter weather is slated for the next ten days -- snow, subzero temps, followed by snow and more subzero temps. Winter lingers.  I long to sit in my backyard, sipping a beer and herfing a fine stogie lovingly rolled between the thighs of a Caribbean beauty queen.

It is the same old, same old in politics as assholes on both sides of the aisle conspire to usurp more and more of your freedoms. The Who had it right, Meet the new boss, same as the old boss. Every politician at every level is determined to pass more laws, to impose more regulation.

Is it lack of exercise, the cold, the low grey clouds that routinely fill the skies that leave me depressed? Is it a post-holiday let down? No Colts on Sunday? Lack of nookie? The ponderous use of sentence fragments in this paragraph? I am tired of boredom-induced snacking. I curse my heavy boots every time I lace them to wade the snow and slush. I long to wear shorts and tee shirts. Mostly, I am sick of whining about stuff in this post. I suspect you are weary of it as well.

Curse you Phil

Stupid groundhog. No wonder farmers around here kill them on sight.

It seems the road to Canton is simply based upon "his turn"

Marvin Harrison was denied the Pro Football hall of Fame yesterday. Instead it was "Andre Reed's time", the vote was based not on numbers, but in that Reed has waited a long time. Perhaps he has not gained the votes before because better players were also up for nomination?

Let us compare the wide receivers who were the finalists this year:

Hall of Fame Finalists - Wide Receivers - 2014

	GP	Receptions	Receptions/Game	Yards	Yards/Game	TD	TD/Game
Andre Reed	234	951	4.06	13,198	56.40	87	0.37
Tim Brown	255	1,094	4.29	14,934	58.57	100	0.39
Marvin Harrison	190	1,102	5.8	14,580	76.74	128	0.67

Courtesy of Stampede Blue

It is clear Harrison far outpaced Reed.   I am in no way saying Reed is not a HOF player, he is not the better player this year. In fact, based on statistics, Reed was the third best receiver to be up for consideration this year. Based on the reporting from Mike Chappell of the Indy Star there was no debating Harrison's merits, but rather "Reed's enshrinement-worthy career aside, the tenor of the room seemed to give serious consideration to his long wait. Reed was in his eighth year of eligibility and a final-10 candidate for a fifth time".  

The HOF is supposed to be about choosing the best of the best, not the best of those who have waited the longest.

How it is done

THIS is an example of why I click on the V-man's link over there on the right nearly every day. He teases us with posts of brilliance then disappears for months at a time, but when he does favor us with his wit, his charm, his prose, it is well worth the read.

Dear guy in the hotel elevator yesterday morning

I will be the first to confess I am not a hand with the ladies, I don't even try. I will further admit that I am no slave to fashion. My business attire runs to Dockers and dress shirts. This I do know; you are forty or forty-five. The wrinkles on your forehead and around your eyes give it away and your foot-long ponytail looks plain silly.

Friday Music

A blast from the past , a glimpse at the TV screen of my youth.  Of course for me it would have been in black and white...

Brady versus Manning

The sports websites and airwaves are constantly full of the Brady v. Manning question. Anytime a sportswriter pens a story about Manning, the Bradyphiles go bezerk and in typical New England-I-think-I'm-Better-than-you fashion regale us with how Brady is superior to Manning. A person can never discuss Peyton Manning at all with one of these guys around, because it always has to be Brady or else. Now those of us with common sense will acknowledge we are in the era of great quarterbacks. We will rightly point out that the Patriot championships were due to a strong defense, something Manning never had in Indianapolis. Why does one have to be better? They are unique in their own way.

Bradyphiles always point to Championships as the end-all-be-all argument for the "greatest quarterback ever" somehow ignoring the greatness of Dan Marino (zero, zip, nadda Superbowl wins). Of course they also ignore the idea that if the number of rings is the only measure, than they must bow down before the greatness that is Terry Bradshaw (4). 

Now those idiots who claim Peyton Manning needs to win another championship to cement his legacy have no clue. Manning is now and will be one of the greatest quarterbacks in any era. There is no disputing this fact, whether he wins Sunday or not. If all we counted for greatness was the number of Big Games a quarterback won,  we would argue Eli is better than Peyton, and Ben Roethlisberger is superior to Marino or Brett Favre. Or even more ridiculous, that Jeff Hostetler, Mark Rypien, Brad Johnson and Trent Dilfer were better than Hall of Famer Jim Kelly.

An allegory that is probably way, way too difficult for Democrats and GOP leadership to understand

Take a page from John Lennon and imagine.

Every day you leave for work. Every day a man stands behind your property line and watches. After you leave, this man jimmies the back door and comes in your house. He eats your some of your food. He grabs a few quarters from your change jar. He watches the chicks on The View. He sneaks a few band aids from the box under the bathroom sink.

You do not notice, he doesn't take much of your stuff on any given day. After a while, you get suspicious, so you put up a fence over part of your property. He goes around the fence and consumes your stuff every day anyway: a little milk and a few aspirins today, cheese and cough medicine tomorrow.

One day, you come home from work early and catch this thief red-handed stealing your stuff. You make a call to the police, the Feds get involved, and low and behold it is you on trial. You are a hater. You are a bigot.The man is just trying to survive. Your thief just wants a better life. It is not fair you have such a nice house and he lives in a cardboard box behind the Food Lion.

In fact, the authorities tell you since he has been stealing from you for ten years and has not been caught up to now, your illegal intruder really is now a part owner in your home. He is allowed to move his extended family into your spare bedroom. The President says you have too much and you should share what you have, Your new roommate sues you because you do not have the SAP feature enabled on your TV, so he can watch in Spanish. Lawyers are sending you threatening letters because you will not let your new co-homeowner vote on the grocery list. Terms like "apartheid" and "discrimination" are used with greater frequency.

After all, it is your fault you did not catch him when he first started stealing from you.

The State of the Union preview

Edward Snowden secretly slipped me the text of tonight's State of the Union address from Obama's teleprompter. I have set it to music for your entertainment:



Tax the rich...'till they ain't rich no more...

Tax and spend -- the eternal Democrat Party mantra.

Iceberg right ahead -- it is time to panic people!

I get it, the outside temps are cold. Heck, the tidy bowl man is ice fishing in my crapper. But it has been this cold before. It will be again.  We are not in the midst of some unheard of deep freeze, with the ice creeping down from the North. It was, in fact, colder just a few weeks ago. My neighbors have left for work without incident. I will be heading out in a bit. But the City of Indianapolis closed today. The precious Government workers will sit home and watch Drew Carey on the Price is Right and munch Cheetos purchased with tax money taken from you and your neighbors. This is not a situation where ice or snow have clogged the roads, it is a result of cold temperatures, and it is a crock of steaming shit. The mayor announced the closing yesterday, before the weather event arrived. I blame the scare tactics of the TV weather people. No longer can they merely report the news, every story must be Dire! and filled with Danger!. Hell, sub-zero temperatures in January cannot even be described as "unseasonable". Closing city offices based on prediction and forecast is a fool's errand. Just this past weekend the weather hacks predicted 5-7 inches of snow when in reality we got about 1/16th of an inch -- total. It is colder than usual, but not to the extreme that the city must be shut down. Indianapolis Mayor Ballard was a Marine.  Now he is a damn Chicken Little. What a joke.

Is it just me?

Is anyone else having internet issues today?  My interwebz are all wobbly.  Certain websites won't load at all, others are real slow to respond.  My signal is good, I just cannot connect to certain websites.

I am sure the NSA is involved. I thought I heard a black helicopter over the horizon late yesterday afternoon. I suspect those are not rabbit tracks all over my backyard, but rather the tracks left by top secret footwear of the Seal Team Seven designed to fool former Boy Scouts like me. Does anyone know of a way to hide your thermal image from a sniper scope? I have already fashioned a helmet from aluminum foil. Do I need to take any other precautions?

Seriously, is any one else having internet issues today?

I flunked a personality test

I am late getting to the old blog this morning. I could blame the unbearable cold. But you don't care -- it is cold at your house too. Perhaps the wind-driven snow has compelled me to  huddle deep in my bed like a hibernating bear. Mostly, I have nothing to say to you today.

Stuff I Have Seen

Rural China 2013

Enough already

I am going to be blunt. Turn off your Christmas lights. It is not festive anymore, it is stupid. I get the weather has been brutal and you cannot take them down.  You can unplug the damn things; enough is enough. There are at least three houses in my neighborhood still burning Christmas lights every night. Christmas was a month ago. Let it go.

Here is a brand new music video from my favorite band. Watch the whole thing.



You thought I would skip the Friday music didn't you?

Dear Republican Party

It is time to decide.  Which is more important, money or votes? You cannot deride your base and expect them to vote for you. On the other hand, you can't win without money.

Decisions, decisions.

Love will keep us together. Until it doesn't

The Captain and Tennille have called it quits after 39 years of marriage. I have two comments:

1. I did not even know the couple was married.
2. I did not know they were still alive. 

Do you think the Captain sported his famous hat when Toni asked him to "Do that to me one more time"?

There will be no musical selection to commemorate this post, because believe it or not I do have standards.

This is so sad

I can't stop crying.

The tolerant left

Get the hell out New York, you are not welcome conservatives.

[C]onservatives who are right-to-life, pro-assault-weapon, anti-gay? ...if that’s who they are and they’re the extreme conservatives, they have no place in the state of New York, because that’s not who New Yorkers are. here

That position kind of reminds you of other people-loving left-leaning governments from history. You know, like in East Germany where the government was so popular they had to build a wall to keep West Berliners from flocking into the communist zone. It was Obama mentor and neighbor and former far-left terrorists Bill Ayres who said that it would be necessary to build concentration camps to re-educate some Americans. It is the progressives among us who are militant about political correctness and enforcing group think. Tyranny in the name of the "people" seems to be a common trait among the progressive-types.

What? The President is Black? When did that happen?

The Obama blames his falling poll numbers on the fact he is black. I know Michael Jackson's skin slowly turned less dark over time, but I have seen no photographic evidence to show the President's skin tone darkening since 2008.

“There’s no doubt that there’s some folks who just really dislike me because they don’t like the idea of a black president,” Obama said

Somehow we are expected to believe that we woke up more than six years after Obama started his run to the Presidency and just now found out he is a person of color? The narcissistic asshole probably believes it. Never mind he has done nothing to improve the economy, the IRS scandles, Fast and Furious, NSA spying, and the eponymous disaster of ObamaCare. Nope, Barack is certain it is his race. Does Obama realize a whole passel of the people he now brands as racists are the very people who elected him?

I can assure you my vote against Obama (twice) had nothing to do with his melanin levels, but 100% to do with his policies and his lack of qualifications. What an asshole. The first post-racial President is the main proponent in keeping race front and center.This is about as far from MLK's dream of a color-blind society as you can get.

h/t Z

Dude makes Ali look humble

The Seahawks Richard Sherman is proof that you can be a great athlete, have tons of money, and still lack class. What a jerk.

To buy or not to buy

A product spokesman's job is get people to buy the product. I never understand why some companies chose a spokesman that turns off the public. Two commercials come to mind locally. The first features the owner of a national (regional?) chain of jewelry stores. His monotone delivery has not improved in decades of practice.  Even if I happened to be in the market to buy some diamond jewelry, his "no middleman" commercials are so uninspiring I would shop elsewhere.

The one local commercial campaign that bugs me to no end airs constantly on every local radio station. It features two women who represent an auto dealership. One has a voice that sends shivers up my spine like fingernails on a chalkboard, the second voice is akin to rubbing balloons or squeaking Styrofoam. The ads are like listening to Marge Simpson's sisters trying to get me to buy a Chevy. I can stand only seconds of their inane banter before I change the station.

I am not alone in my hatred for this marketing duo. A rough survey of relatives and friends showed every single person shared my hatred of these radio spots. I once heard a guy in an adjoining booth at a restaurant echo my sentiments (anecdote -- almost as good as data). These women have annoyed me to the point that I wouldn't ever buy a car at that dealership. I would willingly pay thousands more for a car, secure in the knowledge that the profits from selling me a car will never be used to pay those bitches on the radio.

Isn't the role of a spokesperson to get us into the store, not turn us away?  Don't the ad agencies do a focus group, or take a poll to see how the public responds to a given ad campaign? After years on the radio these businesses must have gotten some feedback.

Dear Liberals, Democrats, and Obamaites across the fruited plain

What would you say if George W. Bush had boasted this:

 “One of the things I’ll be emphasizing in this meeting,” he said, “is the fact that we are not just going to be waiting for legislation in order to make sure that we’re providing Americans the kind of help that they need.”

“I’ve got a pen and I’ve got a phone,” the president asserted, “and I can use that pen to sign executive orders and take executive actions and administrative actions that move the ball forward in helping to make sure our kids are getting the best education possible, making sure that our businesses are getting the kind of support and help they need to grow and advance, to make sure that people are getting the skills that they need to get those jobs that our businesses are creating.” here

Chirpity fucking chirp. Seriously, wouldn't we all be screaming about the President taking on dictatorial powers? This is ninth grade civics, people.

Lone Survivor -- A Movie Review

Wow.  Just wow.

Of Kings and Men

Tom Rice: “Our Founders, Mr. Speaker, designed a system of government based upon a separation of powers. The legislative branch enacts the laws, and the executive branch, the president, enforces those laws. They did that to protect our very, very fragile freedom. We cannot allow those separations to be eroded. One man who can both make the laws and enforce the laws is more a monarch than a president.
“Article II, Section 3 of the Constitution requires, in part, that the president take care to faithfully execute the nation’s laws. In 1792, when George Washington was faced with enforcing an unpopular whiskey tax, he wrote in a letter that: ‘It is my duty to see that these laws are executed. To permit them to be trampled upon with impunity would be repugnant to that duty.’ “President Obama, on the other hand, has, throughout his administration, picked and chosen which laws or parts thereof he wishes to enforce … This is not a Republican issue. This is not a Democrat issue. It is not a tea party action. This is not for messaging. H.R. 442 merely recognizes that no American, including the president, is above the law.” here

I challenge anyone to argue. Any member of Congress who does not agree with this sentiment is ignorant of the Constitution, of history, of our republic.  Perhaps we should make reading Tomas Paine's Common Sense once again required reading in American schools.

It is still wierd

I watched Apocalypse Now again last night. The movie is as bizarre and strange as it was when I saw it on the big screen back in 1979. The movie is loosely based on the novel Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad. It is no wonder the movie is strange, the book is about a dark and weird trip up the Congo in colonial Africa. One of Conrad's novellas. The Duel was made into one of my favorite films, The Duelists.

Reason 62 you wish you were me

I fried up some salmon patties last night. Since you can never get too much fried food I also fried up a batch of potatoes and onions. Yeah, yeah we had a veggie -- broccoli and cheese sauce. The wife fired up a scented candle, but the house still smells like fried foods. In fact it smells like fishy-fried foods. The best part is that there were leftovers and I know what I am having for lunch!

Are you kidding me?

Instead of wasting time on nonsense like this, * how about the Cubs focus on fielding a competitive team. Winning 50% of the games would be a nice change.

*this would be the new mascot.  Visiting sick kids is a good thing. Oh, and turn your hat around asshole.

Toe the line or we will make you milk go sour

Some days I wish I could wake up with no morals, no ethics, no sense of right and wrong,  impervious to gross hypocrisy, and no brains. In other owrds, a Democrat. As near as I can tell, Americans dying in Benghazi, giving guns to Mexican gangsters, using the IRS to target law-abiding American citizens for political purposes, and spying on Americans for having the temerity to use the internet or a cell phone are all OK; not worth discussing. A traffic jam on the George Washington Bridge -- heads need to roll. I have driven on the GW many times, and I think there was a traffic jam every time. No wonder it took a couple of months for this come out. Lane closures and traffic jams are a fact of life in that part of the world.

Let's be honest, Christie's alleged political revenge is pretty lame when you compare it to normal Democrat political payback. Just ask Vince Foster. Screwing up traffic on the George Washington Bridge is akin to the Mayor of Indianapolis digging a pothole on your street or the mayor of Los Angeles having a car break down on the 405. This "scandal" is further evidence the Republicans are truly bad at hardball politics.

About last night

That was ugly. Who the hell punts on fourth and less than one when you are behind three touchdowns in the fourth quarter? It would not have made any difference, mind you, but that is bad coaching to go along with bad offense and absolutely horrific defense.

Happy Birthday Elvis

You don't hear too many reports about The King working a convenience store in Michigan, or doing dishes in a remote California town any more. In fact, Elvis lives mostly in the hearts of our nation's elderly.

There was a time when the movie channels, AMC or TCM, would have filled the programing over Elvis' birthday with his legendary flicks. I am not sure either is even playing one this weekend. That is too bad, I find Elvis movies entertaining as hell. Sure, he played Elvis in every movie. His acting was mediocre at best. But Elvis exuded a charm and charisma that was palpable even on screen. Too often we get caught up in the art of movie making. Elvis movies made no pretense, they were a vehicle for the King to sing a few songs, and to hopefully entertain the audience for 93 minutes or so. Period. On that level they were incredibly successful.

Friday Music

I know you mostly do not listen to the Friday Music Selections. I am also aware that you are even more reluctant to click a link. Today I am asking you to do both. My mostest favorite musician ever has re-recorded some old songs and I think the results are amazing. Even more appropriate to the theme of this post is the title of the collection is "Casual Friday" .Unfortunately, there is no Youtube, and I have no idea how to put a sound clip on the old blog.

Listen here

For those of you who have heard selections from my son's band in the past, this is very different.  There is more of a pop feel in these tunes.  In addition this is a solo project. Bradley Thomas played all of the instruments and did all of the vocals. I am certainly biased, but I think the music is pretty good. Do me a favor and listen. It don't cost nuthin', unless you want to buy the songs. He would appreciate that I am sure.

Dear Democrats

Can anyone explain to me why we should not place Social Security funds into private investments? Such a plan will never work, right?

Details, details

Let me get this straight. We have to extend unemployment benefits because families are hurting. We have to expand the "food stamp" program yet again, because families are unable to keep up in this tough economy. In the meantime, we can finally have a discussion about increasing the minimum wage because the economy can support it (even though most economist agree unemployment rises with an increase in minimum wage). The President is touting the huge economic turnaround and growth in the last quarter. Which is it? Are families suffering or is the economy robust and growing?

We have to expand the school lunch program, send food home for evening and weekend meals, and serve lunch and breakfast during school breaks because our children are starving. We must regulate those same school lunches because our youth are too fat.

Millionaires like Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, and Barack Obama complain about the economic disparity while taking Hawaiian vacations. They tell us we are greedy but at no point do they give away vast amounts of their wealth to the less fortunate. These politicians make three times the wages of the average American, but exempt themselves from the very legislation they impose on the public at large. Obamacare is good enough for you and me, but those who passed the damnable law need subsidies because it is too expensive!

The truth is "income disparity", if it is really a problem and not mere socialist babble, has occurred most under the watch of this President and a Democrat-controlled Senate.  The Republicans have not been able to advance their economic and budgetary agenda since taking over the House of Representatives in 2010. The Democrats controlled all branches of the federal government for most of Obama's presidency. If there is a problem, the Democrats and their economic policies are solely to blame.

The news media was willing to investigate and spend hundreds of hours and millions of words reporting on a "fake, but accurate" report of GW Bush. But the hypocrisy, lies, scandal, and incompetence that is the hallmark of the current Democrats-in-charge is ignored in light of whatever idiocy the celebrity of the day is caught doing. There is no secret to declining newspaper subscriptions, failing news magazines like Time and Newsweek, and a significant reduction in viewers of national TV news. The media choose to focus on whatever maternity outfit some princess is sporting instead of the outrageous use of the IRS to target political opponents.

Just like sheep, we will wake up one day sheared of our wool, sold for dog food. We are following a vicious shepherd who cares not a whit for our welfare or that of our Nation, only if we meet his needs.

record cold is global warming

I will believe in man-made global warming when the models that predict "we are all going to die if we do not change our ways" can accurately predict the weather backwards. In other words, we have about 130 years of weather records. When one of the models accurately models what we have experienced, then I will be on board.  Until then, the whole climate change mantra is just progressives looking for means to take over the economy, your life, and your pocketbook.

More Unemployment benefits or bust!

Maybe instead of pushing to extend unemployment, the government (read Democrats) should discuss ways to spur the economy, not taking money from the working class and handing to the non-working.  Even worse, we are mostly borrowing the money from your kids and grandkids and the Chinese to give to the unemployed. Would you borrow money from your kid's college fund to help out the guy panhandling at the interstate exit? Would you break into your granddaughter's piggy bank to toss a buck or two to the wino on the corner? Why would you let your government do it? At least the WPA got labor  in exchange for a helping hand.

Instead of punishing those who create the jobs through higher taxes and the job-killing ObamaCare, we should look to ways to facilitate hiring and business investment. Of course, long economic stagnation is a hallmark of Democrat administrations and Obama and his gang are quickly surpassing Jimmah Carter as the most economic illiterate regime ever.