Road Trip

It was a nice sunny late summer day yesterday so the wife and I climbed into the Grand Cherokee for a short road trip back to the old hometown. We went to the ice cream stand for tacos. The wife opted for a vanilla Coke while I washed down my food with a diet. Don’t question why the ice cream place has good tacos, they just do. 

We went past the vacant lot that housed my old elementary school. Nothing remains but the crumbling asphalt and gravel where the playground was.  None of that soft rubber matting you find in modern playgrounds. Kids in the sixties were tough, or perhaps we were just hurt far more because safety was never a consideration. 

We played on stuff like this

We didn’t just go around, but also in and out, banging on the center pole in a churning crash. Sure fingers and arms and legs were smashed. Somehow it was fun. So was the merry-go-round that threw us out like a centrifuge and metal slides that seared our flesh on a summer day. 

The wife went to the antique shop she wanted to visit, bought nothing, and we motored home the “scenic” route. It was scenic only in that it was twisty and less travelled than the other state highway we could have chosen. The vista was flat as you imagine Kansas to be (it’s not) and corn and beans and trees dotted with farm houses and occasional double-wide trailers filled the horizon.

As we came back into the north ‘burbs of the metro sprawl we stopped so the wife could window shop a little more then grabbed a bite of supper before arriving back at the homestead in time to watch pre-season football, a baseball game, and a cowboy movie in a display of simultaneous channel flipping remote control dexterity. The wife was upstairs doing whatever she does and missed the fun.

I suspect it was on purpose.

Vintage

Fortunate Son, indeed

Gomer Pyle served in the USMC from 1965 to 1969. 

How did he avoid serving even one tour in the ‘Nam?

Stuff I think

She is one of those dark-haired Alabama girls, a kind of stringy little girl, dark, and, if you look closely, feature by feature, you see that she is not pretty. But her face is so alive all the time time that afterward you would  swear she is pretty.

If you don’t read books by John D. McDonald you should. Not just the Travis McGee ones either.

But Travis is the best. You know he had this on the Busted Flush hi-fi:

If you aren’t appalled than you probably shouldn’t read here anymore

It was a preschool class at the public school. Four and five year-olds. The regular teacher was out, an approved substitute was brought in. 

That day the sub decided to bring in her own books. She ignored the teacher’s lesson plan for that day. Instead, this young lady decided it was good and appropriate to tell little kids about pronouns and transgenderism and that they weren’t boys nor girls but whatever they wanted to be. Then she pulled out the next book and showed explicit pictures of naked bodies and identified all of the body parts. 

To preschoolers. 

These people are sick. Their agenda is destructive. 

Now the teacher and principal and school are left to answer for the actions of one childish, evil twenty-something. 

I’m left wondering what happened to common sense in this world. 

Why stop at Student Loans?

My mortgage is high and consumes a huge chunk of my bi-weekly pay. What say Joe Biden sends me $10 grand to ease my pain? 

I took out the loan, but the rest of you should help me pay it.

I say that as a person who had student loans, who has parent loans, and who has three kids with student loans. 

Asking the American taxpayers to pay off private debts, entered voluntarily, is wrong. 

In case you are clueless, the government ONLY gets money by forcefully taking it from taxpayers. 

Consider that and then feel free to try and convince me this “loan forgiveness “ is a good thing. Besides, where does Biden get the power to change the terms of a legally binding debt?

Intentions

 I had a righteous political rant queued in my head today. I have opted not to. 

Instead I suggest you hug your kids, tell your significant other you love them, and smile at your neighbors. 

We can go back to criticizing the idiocy of others tomorrow. 

The real story of LOST

 Abe and Esther are flying to Australia for a two-week vacation to celebrate their 40th anniversary.

Suddenly, over the public address system, the Captain announces,

“Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news. Our engines have ceased functioning and we will attempt an emergency landing. “

“Luckily, I see an uncharted island below us and we should be able to land on the beach. However, the odds are that we may never be rescued and will have to live on the island for the rest of our lives!”

Thanks to the skill of the flight crew, the plane lands safely on the island.

An hour later Abe turns to his wife and asks,

“Esther, did we pay our $5,000 PBS pledge check yet?”

“No, sweetheart,” she responds.

Abe, still shaken from the crash landing, then asks,

“Esther, did we pay our American Express card yet?”

“Oh, no! I’m sorry. I forgot to send the check,” she says.

“One last thing, Esther. Did you remember to send checks for the Visa and MasterCard this month?” he asks.

“Oh, forgive me, Abie,” begged Esther.

“I didn’t send that one, either.”

Abe grabs her and gives her the biggest kiss in 40 years.

Esther pulls away and asks him,

“What was that for?”

Abe answers,

“They’ll find us!”

weekend Funny

The Democrats just passed an inflation bill that hires 87,000 new IRS agents and I just got audited.

I just received an audit on my tax return for 2021 back from the IRS. It puzzles me!!!
They are questioning how many dependents I claimed.
I guess it was because of my response to the question: "List all dependents?"
I replied: 12 million illegal immigrants; 3 million crack heads;
42 million unemployed people on food stamps,
2 million people in over 243 prisons;
Half of Mexico and 535 persons in the U.S. House and Senate."
1 useless President.
Evidently, this was NOT an acceptable answer.
I KEEP ASKING MYSELF, WHO DID I MISS?

True confession, this is a semi-rerun from 2013.

Baby, you'll come knocking on my front door

The weather has been beautiful this week. Slightly chilly in the mornings and warm and sunny n the afternoon without the excessive humidity we often have. I was sorely tempted to drag the laptop to the back patio to work yesterday afternoon. I didn’t. But I thought about it. 

I just threw some Doughboy orange rolls in the oven for a Friday breakfast treat. The granddaughter helped me put them in the pan. They are a little smashed, but that is OK. 

Have a great Friday

There is no shame.

Has anyone else noticed the media is now referring to the Inflation Reduction Act as the climate change and healthcare bill? 

Even the Democrat bootlickers in the media understand this spending boondoggle will do nothing to help inflation. They are trying to reset the perception and the expectations before the midterms. 

Humpin’ the hump

Liz Cheney lost in a big way in her re-election bid. Once again she is like a lot of politicians in that she thinks she represents Washington DC and not the people of her district. Sucks to be her. The bright side is she is the last vestige of the Bush Cheney cabal. Good riddance. If we could just make the Clintons go away forever...

Cheney likened herself to Abe Lincoln, pointing out he lost elections before becoming President. Liz, you are no Abraham Lincoln. Let me introduce you to another politician with illusions of the Presidency: Eugene Debs. How about William Jennings Bryan? Look, of you lose your primary by more than 30 points, I doubt that foretells a successful run for higher office. If the people who know you best reject you the rest of the country probably will not like you either. 

Remember, the press only likes a Republican if they serve as a useful dope. The media loved John McCain until he ran for President. 

Maybe Cheney can get a gig as the resident pretend conservative on The View. She will immediately double the collective IQ of the panel and her terminal TDS will not be a handicap.

45

 

Frustration

 A husband in his backyard is trying to fly a kite.

He throws the kite up in the air, the wind catches it for a few seconds, then it comes crashing back down to earth.

He tries this a few more times with no success.

All the while, his wife is watching from the kitchen window, Muttering to herself how men need to be told how to do everything.

She opens the window and yells to her husband,

‘You need a piece of tail.’

The man turns with a confused look on his face and says,

‘Make up your mind. Last night, you told me to go fly a kite.’

They were just a few years off back in ‘73

Whoa, this Monday came too quickly. We spent Saturday afternoon at a funeral (plus 2 hours driving time round trip) and yesterday it rained a good portion of the day. Somehow it turned into a wasted weekend. So it goes. 

I read a long opinion piece from an adherent to the global warming religion over the weekend. I won’t link because it was nonsense. The author’s premise was the recently passed inflation reduction act does not go far enough* to address climate change. Of course not, those kooks some people won’t be happy until we are living in caves eating berries. The author says the real climate change culprit is agriculture and the sooner we face it the better. The author opined that the sooner we are “forced off fossil fuels and meat, the better”. Meat is the problem and that over time we will get used to plant based food. 

I saw a movie about that once. It was called Soylent Green. 

That futuristic movie was set in 2022.

Do do dee do...

*what green energy programs have to do with inflation beyond contributing to the problem, I’m not sure. Welcome to our corrupt government.

conflicted

It is said that funerals are for the living. The one we attended yesterday was a case in point. My wife’s ex-brother-in-law passed away earlier this week. As the minister stated “there are a lot of mixed emotions here today”. I can say for my case I wasn’t there for the deceased and I can state irrevocably my wife wasn’t. We were there for her sister and niece.

It was good to see my wife’s family. As for the deceased, my mother told me not to speak ill of the dead. I guess I already have. He died with no family outside of an ex-wife who stayed married to him way too long and an estranged daughter who only reconnected after he got sick and had no one else to call. 

What abuses he piled on his family in the years before his divorce I am sure I only know the surface. 

But I knew his secrets. 

As I said, I was there for the living. 

I said a prayer for him. I’m not sure I meant it. For that I ask forgiveness.

He was a Vietnam vet. I appreciate his service. 

when Hell freezes

When gas was at its peak in June, Biden blamed greedy gas station owners. Not that gas prices have dropped slightly, I have no doubt a big thanks for not being so greedy message to be forthcoming.

I glad I’m a man and so is Lola

 This canned post was originally published Tuesday. I moved it to state my disgust with the modern American Stasi. I’m half afraid to publish anything political. Tell me I’m wrong.

If you have a Democrat for one of your Senators, you can rest comfortably knowing your Senator refuses to acknowledge that only females can get pregnant. Every Democrat senator voted that way Saturday. 

EVERY ONE.

These are the same people who are always telling us to follow the science. 

Sorry, if you tell me in the same breath that climate change is a direct threat to my existence and that a man can have a baby, I’d say I don’t believe anything you tell me.

Since it is Friday why not a little music to emphasize the point?

on the news

I think it is clear AG Garland thinks he got skipped for that SCOTUS gig and clearly blames Trump for not nominating him.

Partisan hack.

Posturing

Drug giant Eli Lilly has publicly castigated the State of Indiana for daring to follow the will of its voters and passing abortion legislation. I guess they want more baby killing. Of course the statement failed to mention the new law is not drastically different than what was the standard under Roe v Wade. It was all about sending signals to stockholders and a select group of women. No company wants protesters outside the gates, and let’s be honest, who is more likely to rant and shout and go into hysterics, pro abortion groups or anti? 

Mostly, the statement was just fluff. As indicated yesterday*, companies exist to make money. Period. There is no chance Lilly will pack up their HQ on Indy’s near south side and move off to high-tax Illinois or New Jersey no matter how welcoming those governors are, nor how free and easy it is to kill babies right up to the point of birth, as long as it is more business friendly right here in backward Hoosierdom. 

None. Ask Boeing and Cat why they left Illinois. 

Similarly, if Eli Lilly offered a nice wage and benefits package, few potential employees are going to refuse the job because they can only get an abortion prior to ten weeks in Indiana instead of 15 somewhere else. I am willing to bet that abortion falls far below the other considerations like community, property costs, commutes, and job satisfaction. 

Look, I get there are reasons not to move to the Midwest. No mountains or beaches and the crappy weather are just a few. I doubt abortion law is a deal breaker 99.999999999% of the time. 

* I know TL/DR

Once again into the breach

The new “lower inflation by spending” bill just passed will do anything but lower inflation. One of the core aspects of the bill is raising Corporate taxes. And that my friends, will go straight to higher prices for you and me and our neighbors. 

How is that says you? Because corporations do not pay taxes. Let me elaborate by actually quoting...myself. Here is an excerpt from a post I wrote way back in 2008:

Let us say you own a business. If it makes you more comfortable it can be a commune or a small company that makes environmentally-friendly organic tiny little vases that allows you to keep fresh flowers in your hair when you visit San Francisco. You decide that it costs you a certain amount to buy the raw materials. It costs you to hire workers. You need to pay for office and manufacturing space. You need to pay for advertising and marketing. Even 'green' packaging has a cost. Electricity and solar panels and wind power have to be purchased and maintained. . If you take all of the items I outlined and add them together you have COST. Hopefully you sell your little hippy vases for more than cost. You might want to actually make a little money yourself. This is called profit. It is not evil. The difference between selling price and cost is profit. The percentage of cost compared to selling price is called profit margin.

If it costs you ninety cents to make the vases and you sell it for $1.00 you have a ten percent profit margin. If it costs $0.93 to make the vases and you sell them for $1.00 you will have a 7% profit margin. If you sell 1,000 vases you will make $70. If you make $700,000 you will have sold 10,000,000 little hippy flower vases. Your profit margin is still 7%. Your profits increased 999,900%. Your margin remained the same. Did you gouge anyone? Did you have windfall profits? Should we now consider you evil Big Vase? I have probably lost you hippy liberal types here. Look up the profit margin of evil Big Oil after you are done here.

Back to your little, but growing hippy vase manufacturing company. You are cruising along making hot hippy chicks happy because they can put flowers in their hair when they go to San Francisco. Suddenly, you get a bill in the mail from the Government. You owe TAXES. These include payroll taxes, permit fees, waste fees, property taxes, warehouse taxes, income taxes, etc. etc. You divide the taxes you owe by the number of hippy vases you make and discover the taxes equal $0.10 for every vase you make. You are only making $0.07 per vase, so the extra ten cents means you will lose three cents for every hippy vase you sell after you pay the taxes. If you sell 10,000,000 vases you will lose $300,000! Your only recourse is to raise prices. To keep the same 7% profit you made last year (and you really wanted to make a little more to get that new hybrid car)your new price for hippy flower vases is now $1.07 each. Some hot hippy chicks are going to have to pay just a bit more to put fresh flowers in their hair when they go to San Francisco.

Are still with me here, my Liberal Friends? What happens if the Government raises taxes on your business again? That is right, you will have to raise your prices more (please tell me I do not have to go through the math again). Thus, raising taxes on businesses equals higher prices for the consumer -- even hot hippy chicks who just want to put flowers in their hair if they go to San Francisco.

Hey guess what? The business did not really pay the taxes to the Government. The initial .10 per vase was rolled into the selling price and subsequent tax increases were too! Businesses really do not pay taxes.

lefties cannot change their tyrannical nature

We now indeed live in a Banana Republic

This tinfoil hat gets a little warm in the midday sun

The Senate passed the massive tax hike and green energy bill over the weekend. I hope you feel good about dumping another $80 billion into the IRS, half of which will go to enhanced enforcement. We know from the last Democrat President what that probably means — going after conservatives and political enemies. Obama did it without consequences. 

On the other hand The Most Popular President Ever has screwed up everything else so why not the IRS. 

Maybe they are going to use all of those new agents to go collect taxes from the flood of illegals who are crossing the uncontrolled border and the employers who hire them? Sure, that will happen the day after People Magazine puts me on the cover of the world’s sexiest man issue.

The FBI has determined anyone who supports the 2nd Amendment, flies the Betsy Ross flag or has a “Don’t tread on me” sticker on their bumper is a potential right wing terrorist, so you judge who this administration views as people to investigate. I don’t think all that money and tens of thousands of rounds of ammo the IRS bought are going to be used to man the 1-800 tax help hotline. 

Anything

I just don’t feel like posting anything today.

I did anyway. 

Keep the Faith

Periodically Audible gives up free trials. You can grab a free “book on tape “ to listen on your device. This month I signed up yet again, so I got a free book. I chose Flight of the Intruder by Stephen Coonts. I have read the book many times. I believe that novel and its sequel The intruders are possibly the best military novels ever written, certainly near the top on any list. The tales of Jake Grafton entertained me on my quick day trip trip to Chicago his week.

I could have used my credit to purchase just about any new book out there. I certainly should have grabbed something I haven’t read multiple times already. But I didn’t and I am more than happy to ride the catapult with my old novel friends again. 

I finished off listening to the book while sitting on the patio doing nothing but watching the birds and bunnies and squirrels cavort in my backyard yesterday evening. When it was done I grabbed my kindle and re-downloaded The Intruders, even though I just reread it last fall. 

Maybe I’ll finish it, maybe not. It doesn’t matter. I am still in the middle of Barbara Tuchman’s The Proud Tower, her masterpiece detailing the pre-WWI years and the turn of the century. I also just scored a $2 deal of the day on a new Doc Ford novel. Life is good. There is always something to read.

just shut up already

Attention Global Climate Alarmists, you need to shut up for the next ten years. I don’t want to hear anymore about my refusal to get an electric car, chucking fossil fuels, or man made climate change. 

When it comes to changing climate we are pikers. Mother Nature controls the climate.

It normally takes around 2-3 years for sulfate aerosols from volcanoes to fall out of the stratosphere. But the water from the Jan. 15 eruption could take 5-10 years to fully dissipate.

’Nuff said.

 

Facepalm Thursday

I don’t know if it is hypocritical or not. I have been dabbling in social media with this blog for more than a decade and a half. But it is hobby. What I read on blogs I take with a grain of salt. That said, if you are getting your news and life advice from TikTok you are a blithering idiot. 

The pump was playing a warning when I filled up over the weekend that no matter what TikTok says, do not pour Coke in to your gas tank. Are people really that dumb? 

Would you believe me if I told you not to use Coke because it contains corn syrup. Sugar is where the energy is. Put sugar in your gas tank. Think what a Snickers or handful of Cap’n Crunch does to your kids’ energy level. A few sugar cubes will really boost your car.  

Do not put sugar in your gas tank. 

Did you TikTokers ever think that people will tell you anything? Some hucksters are very convincing. 

I watched a video this morning of a woke teacher trying to figure out what to do because one of her students decided their pronouns are rock and banana. Kudos to the kid. But why oh why is this teacher asking the genpop for advice? Didn’t anyone ever explain to her that people are basically stupid? 

Or should we point out the utter ignorance of the woman who asked on twitter if she should fear for her life to drive her car with New York plates through red states like Kentucky or Texas? How do these people even function? Do they make Granimals for adults? Do they drink their wine from sippy  cups? Do they have notes pinned to their jackets in case they get lost coming home from the store?

I’m willing to bet piercings and purple hair are in the picture. 

Too many people have become Bubble Boy — encased in a self-made bubble of social media but just as isolated as the boy inside his plastic container.

For goodness sake put down your phone, shut off the computer, close the iPad. Get a life. Do not get your news from Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, or TikTok. Go talk to people. Go outside. 

After you read my blog each day. 

Senseless

Over the weekend a man was pulled over in a routine traffic stop. The stop turned instantly deadly. The suspect exited his car and shot the cop multiple times before he could even get out of his car. After a dangerous chase, the murderer was finally caught. The “alleged” perp has a long criminal history. He had previously vowed to kill law enforcement. 

I ask you, if the police had shot down the suspect, what would be the reaction from the perpetually  aggrieved crowd? I should add some vital information before you answer. The cop was white. The suspect was black. 

We all know there would be press conferences, possibly protests. Likely riots. Celebrities like LaBron James would tell us how oppressed he is. 

White cop shot — crickets. The prosecutor has filed murder charges. Where are the feds? Why aren’t there added hate crime charges? The suspect has a history of black nationalism posts. 

Just asking. 

So dumb

 A lion and his wife lived in a cave, and every day there was this fox who would come sit in front of the cave and start making fun of the lion and teasing him:

“You call yourself a king? You’re nothing but a p**sy who’s afraid of his own shadow. If you’re a real lion come out here and fight me! Oh, you think you’re so fierce, you sissy!”.

The lion’s wife would get so annoyed

“Why are you letting him get away with this? If you’re not gonna do something about this, I WILL!”,

And the lion would say

“Just ignore him, he’s a freaking fox, he’s not worth it, just let it go”.

One day, she felt that she couldn’t take it anymore, and decided to handle the situation by herself.

She came out of the cave and started running after the fox.

The fox ran and ran, but the lioness was close on his heel. He entered a pipe and got out on the other end.

When she tried to get in, she got stuck, so the fox came from behind and f**k*d her in the a**.

The lioness went back to the cave, angry and frustrated.

The lion looked at her and said:

“So… He took you to the pipe didn’t he..”

Strange Days

I sometimes wonder if the evil live AI controlling my iPhone possesses a sense of irony. I was listening to my music on shuffle while mowing yesterday. Barry Sadler’s homage to the military played:

Right after was a song with a message completely opposite:

It was well worth your subscription price to read the content around here the past few days, I wager.

You can just send me cash with Apple Pay

I slept in a bit this morning, it was well after seven when I stumbled down the stairs to make coffee. It looks like another nice day today. I will get the lawn cut and maybe do a little yard work. The flower bed that has tiger lilies is getting overwhelmed with weeds and stray mulberry shoots. I need to wade in and just cut it all down. 

I think before I do any of that I will go visit my grandson. It has been at least a month since I’ve gone. 

How about a little music for a Sunday?

The Doobie Brothers were the first big act I saw in concert. In fact, that show was one of the early dates with my wife. I think we saw a hem a second time a couple f years later. 

I always enjoy their music, except that yacht rock Michel McDonald stuff. 

Have a great Sunday.

No comment

 

Posted on a Saturday since it is moderately NSFW.

Of course I laughed. So did my wife, she sent it to me. No it is not a cartoon about her, she doesn’t have blond hair...

And now it is time for AnyMouse to launch a diatribe on sexism because nothing is ever a joke to the perpetually aggrieved leftists.

Bees make honey, who needs money? No, not poor me

 Shares of Stanley Black and Decker tumbled nearly 14% yesterday after the tool-making giant posted less-than-expected earnings. It seems as prices of everyday stuff rises people are not going out to buy new drills, saws, and nailers. 

Yet the Biden cabal is telling us we are not in a recession. Inflation was just reported as the highest since the early 1980s. Now the Democrats want to double down with another massive spending program. 

Look, I’ll readily admit economics wasn’t my strongest subject in college. I do know very smart people with degrees in economics. They have consented over the years to explain economics to me in layman’s terms. Quite simply, the more money in an economy the greater risk of inflation. The big payments and giveaways early in the Biden Administration (and Trump — he shares in this) put too much money into the economy and coupled with decreasing the flow of oil, has resulted in massive inflation. 

This is what you get when you elect people whose entire economic theory is expressed in a hippie song. 

At least we do not have any more mean tweets.

I never planned anything in my life

Over the weekend I watched the documentary The Last Movie Stars about Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward. The format was rather strange but the show was fascinating. Newman viewed his career as lucky rather than talent. He lacked confidence in his abilities. Paul always believed his wife as a far better actor. For Paul to think he wasn’t great, to that I say Cool Hand Luke, Hud, Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, Butch Cassidy, Slapstick, and Fast Eddie. Were there some stinkers? Sure. The body of work speaks for itself. 

It is a fair question to ask how many of those early roles and accolades would have gone to James Dean had he not done a mind meld with a Porche? 

I don’t know, I cannot see Dean as Luke. 

If you have HBO it is worth your time.

When the rain came

Thunder and heavy rain moved in over night. I watched it from my office recliner. No, I wasn’t in the doghouse. Severe acid reflux had me awake coughing and sputtering as acid burned up and into my mouth. I feared for a moment I was about to drown on my own puke like a rock star. 

Good morning! That’s a pleasant thing to read, eh wot? I wasn’t  in Harry Nillson’s Mayfair London apartment so I knew I was OK. 

You don’t get that reference? Don’t worry, I just learned a strange fact not too long ago. Both Mama Cass and Keith Moon died in the same bed in the same apartment owned by Nillson. The deaths were four years apart, but both were 32 at the time. If Harry asks you to sleep over, I’d just say no. 

I’m not sure what brought on the bellyache. It started after my PBJ lunch and worsened after I made biscuits and sausage gravy for supper. Both are pretty benign meals. A simple “Dude, you are old” probably is the best explanation. 

Every Tuesday we do this

 John went to visit his 90-year-old grandfather in a very secluded, rural area of Saskatchewan. After spending a great evening chatting the night away, the next morning John’s grandfather prepared a breakfast of bacon, eggs and toast.

However, John noticed a film-like substance on his plate, and questioned his grandfather asking,

‘Are these plates clean?’

His grandfather replied:  ‘They’re as clean as cold water can get ‘em. Just you go ahead and finish your meal, Sonny!’

For lunch, the old man made hamburgers.

Again, John was concerned about the plates, as his appeared to have tiny specks around the edge that looked like dried egg and asked: ‘Are you sure these plates are clean?’

Without looking up the old man said: ‘I told you before, Sonny, those dishes are as clean as cold water can get them. Now don’t you fret, I don’t want to hear another word about it!’

Later that afternoon, John was on his way to a nearby town and as he was leaving, his grandfather’s dog started to growl, and wouldn’t let him pass.

John yelled: ‘Grandfather, your dog won’t let me get to my car’.

Without diverting his attention from the football game he was watching on TV, the old man shouted:

“Coldwater, go lay down now, yah hear me?!’

 

twisting the night away

 I decided some fresh corn on the cob would be good for supper with the pulled pork. I was going to grill it but rumbling thunder and steady rain convinced me to throw it in a pot of boiling water instead. 

Just as supper was about to come together that weird buzzing and piercing tone those of us who live in flyover country know so well erupted from my phone and the TV. Tornado warning! I switched over to the local station to get the weather radar. A big red and purple blob was moving right at the old homestead from the west. 

I pulled the potatoes from the oven, grabbed the wife and headed for the basement. 

No I didn’t. I don’t even have a basement. Instead I went to the front windows and looked to the west see what I could see. I saw the gutters overflowing and the newly laid mulch splattering on the porch. I saw the maple limbs whipping in the wind. I did not see twisters in the sky. 

The corn was done so we sat down to eat as the warning expired. It was some mild excitement to an otherwise dull Sunday. 

Sunday Dinner

I was cutting the fat cap off a pork shoulder this morning and got a small cut on he edge of my left index finger. My knives are very sharp so it was a quick bite then no pain. I had to go bandaid up and then wash my knife before I could continue. Things from then on were inconvenient as I didn’t want to get meat and dry rub all over my bandage. I finished preparing the pork for smoking pretty much one-handed. It was not a big deal, I like to complain. 

I’m going to get the meat smoking a little early. Rain is expected to move in this evening around four or five so it would be good to have the meat done and the smoker cooled off before the rains come. Cleaning the smoker in a thunderstorm doesn’t sound like a good Sunday to me. I doubt it does to you either. 

I put some hickory and apple chunks in water to soak last night so in an hour or two the neighbors will be sniffing my Q. I think I’ll make som cheesy hash brown casserole as a side. And a veggie of some kind. Sure, there is a little extra. Come on over. Bring beer. And dessert. I live in Hamilton County. I shouldn’t be hard to find. Bwa ha ha. 

How about some music? Since we are talking BBQ, how about some country?

Hybrid ball bearings do not run on batteries

 It is strange how I cannot wake up during the week but get up early on the weekend. So here I sit on the couch, a hot cup of coffee steaming on the end table pecking away one-fingered on the iPad. Life is good. 

I had a political rant forming in my mind. I let it go. I’m not gonna change any minds. Sure, I will drop a screed in the coming days, it is what I do. Not today. 

We are heading off to our friends’ for a pool day. Since we never go empty-handed I have a couple of snacks to make later this morning. We are taking some kind of peanut butter brownie cupcake things from a mix the wife bought. I am also going to throw some Velveeta and Rotelle in the crockpot for some easy nacho dip. 

Whose dip is it? Nacho dip. 

Yes, I went there. More? Why does the Norwegian navy have bar codes on the sides of their ships? So when they come to port they can Scandinavian. 

Try it out loud.

I’ve said it many times, you get what you pay for around here. 

Have a great Saturday. I plan on it. 

Edit so much for plans. The rains that were scheduled for early morning have set it and made swimming an unattractive option. Instead we will join our friends this evening for cheap eats and some cards. Almost as good. I’ll take it.

If I was as bad at forecasting as the weather people I would be out of a job. And worse, they are totally unapologetic about their failure  so very often to be right and accurate.

I don’t know

 I am completely baffled. I wrote a post yesterday afternoon and canned it for posting early this morning. I knew I would be tied up in meetings most of the morning and wanted to give you the benefit of my wit and wisdom. 

I know it published. I just didn’t publish it for this morning, obviously. So somewhere in the past I retroactively published a post urging you to become an organ donor. 

It would be a good thing if you do.

Stupid is as stupid does

Mayor Pete proves yet again he is ignorant of real life. He testified this week that he is confounded that Americans aren’t flocking to buy EVs. He said if Congress would provide subsidies the cars would cost less. Clearly Pete doesn’t understand the difference between cost and price. If an EV is listed at $50,000 and there is a subsidy for $10,000, the car still costs $50,000. The other $10,000 is just paid by the taxpayers — your friends and neighbors. 

More to the point, here is an example of why people don’t want EVs. I have to go to Chicago for business in a couple of weeks. I may be able to make it there and back on one tank of gas. It will be close. Assume I need to fill up. It will take about ten minutes, counting a pee break and wait in line to buy a Milky Way or something for the round trip.

With an EV, I will have to stop at least once, maybe twice, to charge, depending what n how much I run the AC, listen to the radio, or traffic. Providing I can find a fast charger in the hinterlands of NW Indiana, it will take 30 minutes to charge. If not, eight hours? My four plus hour trip just took an extra 12% to 200% longer. Each way. 

Consider that my car should last 150,000 miles easily if I take car of it. The battery on an EV will last 70-100,000 miles. The battery replacement cost is $16,000 to $20,000. You might as well buy a used car.

I won’t even cover the problems with the electric grid. Or the fact that even with subsidies an EV costs more than an gas car.

So, Mayor Pete, that is why I don’t want one of your EVs you jackass.

Don’t read if you are easily offended

 A young woman, during tough times, was working as a prostitute. For obvious reasons, she kept this a secret from her family. One day, the police raided her brothel and arrested a group of working girls, including the young woman.

The prostitutes were instructed to line up in a straight line on the sidewalk. Well, who should be walking in the neighborhood, but the woman’s little old Grandma! The young girl became frantic.

Sure enough, the Grandma noticed her young granddaughter and asked curiously, “What are you lining up for dear?”

Not willing to let grandma in on her secret, the young lady said that some people were giving out free oranges and that she was lining up for some.

“Mmmm, sounds lovely,” said Grandma, “I think I’ll have some myself,” and she made her way to the back of the queue. An officer made his way down the line, questioning all of the prostitutes. When he got to the old dear at the end, he was bewildered.

“But, you’re so old, how do you do it?”

Grandma replied, “Oh, it’s quite easy, sonny. I just remove my dentures and open wide.”

Satisfaction

 

It is pleasant and warm on the patio. The house leaves me in the shade. A good cigar sends plumes of fragrant smoke into the cloudless evening sky. 

A squirrel comes down from the big willow and runs along the top of the privacy fence. 

Classic rock plays on the little Bose speaker. My book sits unopened next to me. The traffic sounds of 141st street are muted.

Supper is done, the kitchen cleaned. The wife went shopping. 

I sit content. I had plenty of complaints this morning. Not so much this evening as I ponder all I have to be thankful for. 

Life is a far cry from a year ago.

Thanks for sticking with me faithful readers.

back of my neck feeling dirty and gritty

Another summer heat wave is in the forecast this week. This happens almost every year. I have a question. If it is hotter than ever, as the climateers shout in panic, why are most of the records for heat and cold decades old? In fact, around here most of the heat records date to The Great Depression. Anyway, it is expected to be in the mid and upper 90s this week with high humidity. I suspect it will be hot at your house too.

We got a day of rain Sunday so the lawn isn’t quite so brown and dry. 

Since it wasn’t as hot yesterday I went for a walk after supper. It was still pretty humid so my shirt was sticking by the time I got home. I probably overdid it. My foot is more than a little sore today. So it goes. I’m still 50/50 on living with the pain and slight limp or going for another surgery. The actual procedure doesn’t bother me, it is the recovery. Another six to eight weeks of Long John Silvering it has zero appeal. The youngest granddaughter sat and bumped up the stairs one at at time on her butt a few weeks ago. “Look, I’m just like Paw” she laughed. I did too, but I have no interest in going back up and down like that again. 

I hear you. “Then quit complaining “ you say. But that’s what I do best! I think it was a year ago this week I had my first foot surgery and I’m dismayed that things really are no better. 

On the good news front, I returned to the retina specialist yesterday. He said things look good from my laser procedures earlier in the year. There does not appear to be any more bleeders and the one that was inoperable appears to be shrinking somewhat. My vision was slightly better. 

Ha! Not only do I look old in the mirror, now I sound old. I spend a whole post on my health and aches and pains. I am pretty sure that is not why you stopped by. 

Sorry ‘bout that. I know I usually give you a joke on Tuesday. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe later. Who knows?

I have no answers part 37

After significant internal debate I took down yesterday’s post. It was a sarcastic and mildly clever poke at gun control. I took it down not because I now disagree with the sentiment, but in light of events in Indy yesterday, the mocking tone was marginal. Maybe.

A gunman toting a long gun opened fire in the food court of the Greenwood Park Mall in a suburb of Indianapolis, killing three and wounding two. What the police have termed “a Good Samaritan” pulled his handgun and killed the murderer before his rampage could get worse.

That last paragraph says everything that needs be said about gun control. 

There has been a great deal of handwringing panic over Indiana’s new right to carry law that took effect a few weeks ago. This is why it exists. 

I took down the post for its facetious tone out of respect for the dead, not its message.   

Update. Reposted. 

almost deadly

My buddy has been experimenting. He owns an evil black rifle. You know, the one killing everyone, an AR-15. 

He has it out in plain sight in his home office. He put several thousand rounds of ammo nearby. Can you believe a gun that deadly has yet to shoot him? There has not even been an assault, a bludgeoning, or even harsh words from the weapon of mass destruction. My friend even tried to antagonize the rifle, calling it names and cursing at it. There was no response at all. Not even when his wife comes in the room. My friend went so far as to slap the gun on the butt. That has to be some kind of workplace harassment, yet the AR-15 did not respond. It just sits there like an inanimate object with no will of its own. 

I told my friend to try calling the rifle by the wrong pronoun. I am not sure he is willing to go that far in provoking something so prone to violence. 

knock it off

Can we just stop with the total complete bullshit about senior citizens living on a fixed income? Unless you work for commission, we all have a fixed income. You are paid an hourly rate or a salary. It doesn’t fluctuate, and certainly not upward.

Only those on social security get a guaranteed raise when costs go up. I won’t, you won’t. We just suck it up through Bidenflation.

Senior citizens don’t suffer more with prices rising than the rest of us. As boomers die off, we will start to see a lot less pandering to them.

I say this knowing I’m approaching that age and by classification just barely a boomer myself. 

Stuff you have been thinking about

I’m sure you have been worrying about my Free Cell status. I last updated you on my winning streak last month. Well here we are, almost a month later, and I’m still on a hot streak. Right now I have won 302 games in a row. My previous win streak was around 25 games. Then I won 49 in a row. I lost a game then I embarked on my current streak. That puts me at 351 out of the last 352 games.*

Yes, I know, mentioning a streak is akin to discussing a no hitter. I am messing with fate. 

So it goes. 

I just couldn’t keep silent when I know you are still eagerly awaiting updates from me. 

* my wife says I need to get a life.

Makes me sick

 I watched the Uvalde School video. I’m speechless, or nearly so.

I understand why some of the parents are angry and upset over it’s release.

I know why law enforcement, if you want to label those cowards as such, did not want it released.

Each and every one of those police officers cowering in the hall should resign immediately. No one wants to die. When you sign up for the job as cop, as fireman, you are by definition putting your life on the line. If all you want to do is write tickets, become a meter maid. If you want the uniform and the feeling of power, become a mall cop. 

Paul Blart showed more gumption and intestinal fortitude. Kids were dying while those hired to protect them are getting hand sanitizer. The police where there, body armor in place, armed with true assault weapons three minutes after the shooter entered the school. 

They ran when they heard shots. 

Let me repeat.

They ran when they heard shots. 

I’m not sure how any of those cops can show their face in that community. 

Variation on a theme

 A woman and a baby were in the doctor’s examining room waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby’s first exam.

Finally, the doctor arrived, examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed.

“Breast-fed,” she replied.

“Well! We’ll have to check you out. Alright then, strip down to your waist,” the doctor ordered.

She undressed and the doctor began his exam.

He pinched her nipples, then pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both breasts for a while in a detailed examination. He frowned, then continued squeezing and pressing for a few more minutes.

Motioning to her to get dressed, he said,

“No wonder this baby is underweight – you don’t have any milk!”

“I know,” she said. “I’m his Grandma, but I’m certainly glad I came.”

Breastfeeding is best for babies

 During a biology exam a student has to list three pros of breast milk.

He’s unprepared, but starts looking for common sense answers and writes down:

Contains all the nutrients a baby needs,

Doesn’t need heating,

But he still needs one more. And just as the time is about to run out, the student writes:

Has great packaging.

The back flower beds are still weed choked

It started innocently enough. I told the wife I was going to mow the back yard. She said she would come out and pull some weeds. As I laced up my mowing shoes she said “we should get some bags of mulch for the front flower beds”. Translated that means why don’t I go get some mulch. After some sharp words I got my keys and drove down to Lowes to get some mulch. 

I spread the mulch through the front flower beds. Then I helped her plant a big flower she got for her birthday. Then “we” needed to trim up those trees in the back. So I grabbed the saw and pruners. She said “cut here and here and here and there and there and there”.  As sawdust stuck to my sweaty arms and legs she said she was going to get cleaned up. She headed inside. There I was with a big pile of limbs to be trimmed and cut and loaded into the trash cans. By the time I was done mulching and trimming and cleaning and watering I was too dang tired to mow. 

The yard does look better. “We” did a good job. 

Help me Rhonda

I wasn’t going to post today. Nothing to say, etc. 

Instead I’m going to request a prayer for very long time reader Freddie and her family, if you are so inclined. Her Tallman is fighting blood clots. 

lightening up, just for you Francis

If you have Hulu you should watch The Bear. Riveting. My son says that is the most accurate depiction of the industry he has seen on film. 

Now some music. 

You never expected that, did you?

There was a time...

I read an article this morning from some dufus claiming the problem is not with SCOTUS, but with the Constitution. I’m not going to link to it. The article is wrong on so many points I don’t want to spread the author’s nonsense to even one unsuspecting reader. 

There was a time I would have spent an hour taking apart the erroneous positions and offering rebuttal based on history and actual words of the document itself. These days I don’t have the energy. 

Here are a few salient points you should know.

1. There was much concern about the Bill of Rights at adoption. Many feared future Americans would think the only guaranteed Rights were those listed. Thus, the 9th and 10th Amendments. Those of you who think the Court “took away your rights” in the recent Dobbs decision should read those Amendments. 

2. There is a means to amend the Constitution. Is it hard? Yes. It is designed that way too limit “the passions of the day”.

3. This country was and is a collection of States. Senators are by definition representatives of the States, that is why there is not equal representation. They were never supposed to be elected that way. That keeps the big states from dictating to the smaller states. Wyoming gets equal vote to California on purpose. Only a big state Democrat fails to understand why this is important. This is the same reason we elect the President through the electoral college. He is elected by the States, not the people.

This is not hard to understand, if you only try.

4. To argue the second amendment only applies to muzzle loaders is as stupid as saying the first amendment only applies to printed words or those scraped on parchment with a quill. 

Clearly one of the worst things to happen to the generations born after the late 1970s was cancelling Schoolhouse Rock.

Lessons Learned

 An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle.

She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of her lungs,

“I have a gun, and I know how to use it! Get out of the car!”.

The four men didn’t wait for a second threat.

They got out and ran like mad.

The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the driver’s seat.

She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition.

She tried and tried, and then she realized why.

It was for the same reason she had wondered why there was a football, a Frisbee and two 12-packs of beer in the front seat.

A few minutes later, she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down.

She loaded her bags into the car and drove to the police station to report her mistake.

The sergeant to whom she told the story couldn’t stop laughing.

He pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale men were reporting a carjacking by a mad, elderly woman described as white, less than five feet tall, glasses, curly white hair, and carrying a large handgun.

No charges were filed.

The moral of the story?

If you’re going to have a senior moment… make it memorable.

We all scream

As is often the case in summer, July in particular, it has been hot. Temps cracked 100F yesterday. The heat index was around 110. At nine o’ clock last night the heat index was still over 100F. I suspect it was hot at your house too. 

I have one of these ice cream makers. It does a pretty good job and is way easier than dragging out my old-fashioned one with the salt and ice and mess. It makes enough for the two of us plus some to stash in the freezer for tomorrow. It would be a great treat n this heat.

A few weeks ago I thought I would make some ice cream. The center container, the place where the magic happens, wasn’t there in the garage freezer where it is always kept. 

I vaguely remembered removing it over the winter to make room for meat after a big shopping trip when I got my new job. OK. Where did I put it? 

It wasn’t in the box with the other components. It wasn’t on the storage shelf next to the garage refrigerator. It wasn’t anywhere in the garage. 

Didn’t we loan it to my daughter last fall for a party? Yes. She sent it home, the evidence is in the motor, paddle, and lid in the box in the garage. 

I have looked in every cabinet and storage closet in the house. I’ve been searching for nearly a month.

It is not here. 

I want some homemade ice cream. What did you do with my freezer? 

I guess I’m going to have to go buy another ice cream maker.

The old ones are still classics

 There is a mommy stork, a daddy stork, and a baby stork

One day, daddy didn’t come home for dinner.

Mommy and baby were very worried.

When dad came home late the next morning, they asked what he was doing.

“I was making a young couple very happy,” he replied.

About a week later, mommy didn’t come home for dinner.

Daddy and the baby were very worried.

When mom came home late the next morning, they asked what she was doing.

“I was making a young couple very happy,” she replied.

A few days later, the baby didn’t come home for dinner.

Mom and dad were very worried.

When he came home very late the next morning, they asked him where he was.

Baby just grinned and said,

“I’ve been scaring the sh!t out of college students!”

Independence Day II

 

I’ve said it many times, if you have not watched the first few episodes of the Adams miniseries on HBO, you should. Why it isn’t required watching in every high school I will never understand. Teaching history never needs to b confined to dry dusty politically correct tomes. 

Independence Day

 

A movie review 46 years late

 I was lazing about yesterday flipping channels when Rocky came on. It has been awhile since I watched the film and I forgot just how good it was. The gritty tale of a club boxer, just getting by and the life he lives when offered a big break is heart rendering. Each time I watch the movie I feel a sense of sadness. In the end Rocky isn’t so much a boxing movie, a sports movie, but a film about life, love, and man’s struggle to survive and find that indomitable spirit that drives us from within to compete — not just within the confines of a boxing ring, but in the arena of life. Stallone captured this perfectly in the first movie, mostly in the second, but forgot it completely in the many subsequent sequels. You can only capture lightning in a bottle so many times. 

Some of us never do. 

According to IMDB, the scene of Rocky telling Adrian his fears the night before the fight was almost not filmed because of budgetary concerns. That scene is the crux of the movie and perhaps one of the best, if not often recognized, scenes in cinema. 

No matter how much we hide behind a tough guy persona, we just want to go the distance. Is not Rocky truly the Everyman?

Suspicious Minds

We went to see the new Elvis movie last night. Wow, what an enjoyable flick. The guy who played Elvis, Austin Butler, was incredible. It is good acting when you can upstage Tom Hanks. The film showed the charisma of Presley. It glossed over the fact that Priscilla was just 14 when they met, but that wasn’t what the movie was about. 

Elvis was subjected to fame oh a level few have ever known - Sinatra in the thirties, the Beatles. In the end the fame, the hangers-on, the drugs, the performances, the Colonel all sucked hm dry. 

Anyone who has read here for a while knows I dig Elvis. I like his music. I like most of his movies, even if in the end he mostly just played Elvis. I am sure I have recounted both of my trips to Graceland over there in the archives. Unfortunately, I lack the celebrity idol gene, so I was baffled by the women crying at Elvis’ grave when I was there. 

Anyway, it is worth the bucks to see the film on the big screen. I am good at spending your money, so do what you like. 

They’ve got a name for the winners of the world

I have had Steely Dan’s Deacon Blues playing an endless loop in my head since sometime in the middle of the night. Not even the whole song, just the chorus. While I generally like Steely Dan, that isn’t one of my favorite tunes. 

I have much work for a Friday heading into the long weekend. Unfortunately, Microsoft Office started misbehaving right around quitting time last night. It told me I needed to sign back in, then proceeded to inform me my password was incorrect. Then locked me out when I insisted it was right. Th computer overlords won. Now I have to get IT to fix stuff when the workday starts. Unless I can sign in I can’t give them remote access to the screen...I’m sure they can figure it out. If not, my long week starts earlier than I thought! 

Sitting here in the recliner in my office I realize just how much I hate the paint color. When we moved in I told the wife no brown. Of course nearly every room is a shade of brown or tan. When my office was one of the back bedrooms it was a yellow. Now I have a light chocolate brown. It looks nice with my black office furniture, but I really do not like it. 

I just made up my mind I am going to repaint it a different color. Probably in the fall when I don’t have outside stuff I want to do. Now I have to decide what color I want. 

Actually, every room needs repainted in the house. It has been nine years since we moved in. The bedrooms used by the girls have been redone, but everything else is old. The walls are getting marked and scuffed. I don’t mind working around the house, I really do not like painting though. 

OK, I can’t get that song out of my head. Maybe listening to it will help. Worse case, it gets stuck in your head. Misery loves company.