Weekend Funny

Weekend Funny

Friday Music

If you were in school in the dinosaur days of the 1970's you likely danced with your chick or dude to this tune.

Slow dance? Fast dance? It is right in the middle. What say we get something to drink and make out?

Head Scratchin'

100,000,000 Americans will lose their insurance by this time next year so 30 million can have insurance. Only an economically challenged Democrat could devise such a plan,

That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends...

The Constitution of The United States is the Supreme Law of the Land. The President must make an oath agreeing to uphold the Constitution. According to Article Two, Section One, Clause Eight:

Before he enters on the Execution of his Office, he shall take the following Oath or Affirmation:— “I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my Ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States.”

According to that same Constitution, and supported by an excellent School House Rock presentation, 

Congress passes a bill, the President signs it and the bill becomes a law. No individual Congressman, Senator, or President has the power to make law, change a law, or void a law. failure to enforce a law puts the President in violation of his oath and the Constitution.

The Constitution is deliberately designed with a balance of power. The Congress makes law, The Courts interpret the law, the Executive branch carries it out. You should have learned this is 9th grade civics. The President is not a king, he cannot dictate law, or change a law.  He is a chief executive, no more. The founders just fought a war to get rid of a king, and wanted no part of another.

As pointed out by Mr. B, when the President fails to obey a law, why should the average Joe? Look, ObamaCare is a disaster. Without arguing the merits of the idea, the law itself is poorly written and conceived. But it is not up to the President to determine what parts of the law he likes and doesn't. Failure to enforce the law as written is grounds for impeachment.

The President may have slammed back a tumbler of bathtub gin during Prohibition, but he still sent Elliott Ness out to enforce the law. It can be no other way. Enforce the Law until it is changed legally by Congress. There is no second option. No matter how much ObamaCare it hurts you, me or my neighbor it is the law. We cannot live in a free society when the President functions like a King.

Are you kidding me?

I checked into my hotel this evening after a six hour drive through some of the most boring terrain on Earth. I put down my bag and padded into the bathroom to take a piss. I flushed, washed my hands and watched the clogged toilet overflow on to the floor.

If my life has to be a rerun, why can't it be repeatedly getting laid?

Sh*%ing bricks

It appears I need to back off the fiber a bit. I managed to plug up the toilet in the hall bathroom completely. The stoppage is not composed of toilet paper either.  Even Sheryl Crowe would have thought my few squares was appropriate. I have plunged and plunged and plunged. The blockage is solid (heh, solid). I even went to get a better, more efficient plunger late last night (these things never happen in the middle of the afternoon, do they?) but it has not fared any better. I hoped gravity and time would help, so I left it overnight, but the toilet failed to flush this morning. I suppose I will plunge for a while more then I am going to have to call a plumber.

It is time to step up and be the Boss

Firing employees is never pleasant, even when they deserve it. As one boss told me years ago, anyone can pass out raises, the reason we pay you to be a manager is to do the unpleasant stuff.

It is no secret and undeniable that President Obama was lacking in executive experience when he was elected to office. Even his most ardent supporters have to agree. That lack of experience is evident in his failure to hold those under him accountable for failure.  The complete disaster of the ObamaCare website is inexcusable. If Obama's underlings filed to inform him the website was not ready, as he claims, they should be fired. Even if Sebelius did tell Obama, she should be canned anyway. This roll-out surpasses even the New Coke debacle as the worst product launch in history. 

It is often said the Government is the landing place for those who cannot make it in the private sector. Make no doubt, if the CEO of a company had made the promises of Obama, he would be in jail for fraud (see Bernie Madoff). If any executive had performed like Sebelius, she would have been fired already.

Weekend Funny

Friday Music -- ObamaCare version

Yep, The Obama is sorry.  Not so sorry he will back away from his eponymous disaster, though.  He is just sorry we are all screwed. Just sorry so many actually believed his filthy lies.

Too bad for you. Too bad for me.

Riveting

I could rant about the failures of ObamaCare and offer up a slop bucket of I Told You So. But you are already on board that train. In reality I have a big old bag of nothin' to offer you today. Perhaps something will occur to me later, but I doubt it. You are not interested in my tales of window coverings and decorating.  Hell, I am bored by it all at this point.

say, you tech savvy readers might help me out. Is there such a thing as an ethernet hub, or a multiplug for an ethernet cable?  My modem needs one more port to connect everything at once. I can find out by a quick internet search or a trip to Radio Shack/Best Buy/Frye's. I just have not started looking for answers yet since the problem only came up this morning when I tried to connect the ancient steam powered desktop dinosaur to the interwebz.

Winter is coming

I wanted a house with mature trees. Now I have a billion and seven leaves on my yard. The rain and wind yesterday brought down many who still stubbornly held on to their wooden perches high above the ground. Golden and brown they flew through the air under cloudy skies. A thin dusting of snow covered them in the evening hours. Winter is upon us. Now I have a soggy mess I need to clean up at some point. Mostly I was waiting on the big maple out front to finally turn and shed its leaves and now it is doing so in massive quantities. Still, I love living on a property with trees, even though my slice of heaven is pretty small, even for an urban setting.

The garage is still full of...stuff...waiting to be unpacked and distributed. It is mostly the wife's knick knacks, baskets, pictures, etc. There is also sundry garage type stuff, tools, cushions for the outdoor chairs, coolers, baseball bags, brooms, tennis rackets; the detritus we all collect. I just have not found their proper place yet. In a few weeks we will be dragging the Christmas decoration boxes out of the attic and that will only add to the clutter.

I'm OK with it all. Life has been pretty good. I just keep waiting on the other shoe to drop. A lifetime pf pessimism is hard to shed.

Thank You

On the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month...

Thank you Veterans. Your service ensures my freedom.

Weekend Funny

WTF?

I can not believe how many people have their houses decorated for Christmas already.

Friday Music

I think this is a beautiful song

The Democrats are responsible

www.photos.com

This is one of the 10, 30, 20, 40 million uninsured prior to the implementation of ObamaCare. He had access to health care, Reagan signed that law. This uninsured man got his healthcare for free if he could not afford it at any emergency room or hospital. But he did not have insurance and that is why we needed to destroy the healthcare system in the United States according to the Democrats who passed ObamaCare. The 90%+ who had insurance they liked, doctors they liked, plans they liked are now finding out that President Obama, Nancy Pelosi, and Harry Reid were liars. I guess when President Obama promised us twenty-plus times our premiums who go down by $2,500 a year he misspoke. Thinking there are 57 states after a long day of campaigning is an error. Telling us multiple times our premiums are going down is an outright falsehood.

Guess what? The guy in the picture still will not be covered under ObamaCare. Do you think this guy is going to a computer to sign up for the exchanges? Is he calling in to the phone banks? Do you think he is filing taxes? Do you think he is paying the tax if he fails to sign up? Me neither.

A massive failure to launch

If you have read here for more than a month or two you know I like to be right. I am not shy about pointing it out, either. I can crow and you liberals can eat the same when it comes to ObamaCare.  Everything the critics said about the law is coming true. It is a disaster. It is a failure. It is an expensive Exhibit A for the what goes wrong when Big Government gets involved. At this point we should have just given a few thousand bucks to every supposedly uninsured in the country and we would all be better off.

If the Stupid Party had been behind such a disaster the Democrats Liberals Progressives Hypocrites on the Left would be marching and wailing in near apoplectic rage. Instead liberal bloggers are as quiet as church mice as their dream slowly turns into a nightmare. I am not surprised. Most liberals lack the character and moral fortitude to actually criticize their own. To their credit, that is why they win elections.  When you lack a strong moral foundation it is far easier to hold your nose and pull the lever in the voting booth.

Next year they will start on Labor day

I watched the Sunday Night Football Game on NBC last night. I was appalled. I am not talking about the Colts play in the first three quarters either (that was plain disgusting). No, I lost count of the number of Christmas and New Year's themed commercials. The Halloween candy is not even put away yet. I love Christmas as much as anybody, but sheesh, can't we have a week or two without a holiday theme in the commercials?  Can't we agree to hold off on the Christmas marketing until mid-November?

Is it Possible

Do you think, somewhere in the deepest recesses of his narcissistic mind President Obama is furious over the failures of ObamaCare and wishes he had instead encourage media, government officials and the public at large to call it the Affordable Care Act instead? Do you think he has screamed at Sebelius and told her "This is named after ME!  Make it work. I won't have this mess as my legacy."

Nah, Liberals can never see their shortcomings. They see Venezuela and Cuba as worker's paradises and a great success.

It fits like a well-made suit

On a whim we went to look at a house back in April. The wife saw it depicted in an open house ad in the local paper. We looked. We liked. We looked again. We offered and lost out on the house in a bidding war. We were disappointed, but we were not even looking for a new abode at the time. We then started looking at more houses.  Lots of houses, including every single suitable (and some not so suitable) in the town where we lived.

My daughter suggested we look at homes on the North side of Indy. She pointed out we had no ties to the town where we lived except for residing there 24 years -- no family, few friends. Moving to the North side made a lot of sense. It was closer to two of my three kids and no further for the one in college. It was closer to both of our families who live in North Central Indiana. Plus there was a much better selection of homes for sale. To my surprise, despite being one of the fastest growing cities and counties in the nation, housing prices were more reasonable than in my small town! The laws of supply and demand work even in Indiana!

We looked and looked and looked. Finally we made an offer on a house. It was more than we wanted to pay, but we liked the house. I thought my wife loved it, so I went along. The day the offer was accepted I had regrets. Big regrets. The house cost too much and had many of the shortcomings we had found in other properties. But the spouse loved the place. Until she mentioned after the inspections that she wished we had not bought the house. She mentioned the price, the shortcomings and said she went along 'cause she thought I loved the place. What we had here was a failure to communicate. We backed out of the deal. We pissed off a lot of people. We lost a lot of money, but better to lose money than spend hundreds more every month for years on a house you do not want.

The view from my "office" window

The wife went back to the internet searches. She found one that looked intriguing. The daughter drove over for an outside glimpse and said we would love it. We drove up and took a twilight look at the outside. The shorten a very long story we bought the house. It was perfect as a home we could get in our price range.

From the first day, weeks before we moved in, the house has been comfortable. I showed up to paint and never felt like I was in a strange home. The first night we slept here the place felt like we had been here for years. There are still boxes all about. The wife has not done her decorating. But I have not felt so 'at home' in a long time.

Stuff happens for a reason.

In the mood

I may be in the mood for love, but not for blogging. Read some of the links over there on the right.

Have a great Saturday

A short / medium length post wherein I ramble a bit and provide some Friday Music

How about a little of the Floyd for Friday music? None of the "The Wall" commercial nonsense, either.

It is done, we are out of the southern homestead lock, stock and barrel. Does anyone say that anymore? Sometimes I trot forth an anachronistic phrase and my kids and co-workers look at me like I am crazy. For example a few weeks ago one of the marketing guys told me not to worry about a certain event. I told him it would roll off me "like water on a duck's back". He thought that was the weirdest thing he had ever heard. He claimed no one in his life had uttered such a phrase in his presence.  He allowed it must be a Hoosier thing. I submit he is far poorer for language since he lives in New Yawk (albeit upstate). Now I am concerned  I routinely speak in an unique AppalachianHoosierAmishRedneck dialect.

It rained in buckets last night. The weather girl said we had the equivalent of a Midwestern hurricane with 70 mph winds, very low pressure and drenching rains. There were no coconuts flying through the air to smash windows like nature's cannonballs though. Besides, the storm moved through faster than a hurricane does. A mere couple of hours and the worst of it had passed.

What is wrong with some people?

Welcome to the Liberal Monkey House.  Read the link and be appalled.

A Fargo, N.D., woman says she will give trick-or-treaters that she deems "moderately obese" a letter instead of candy this Halloween.
"I just want to send a message to the parents of kids that are really overweight. ... I think it's just really irresponsible of parents to send them out looking for free candy just 'cause all the other kids are doing it,"

I say mind you own business, you cunt. Don't pass out candy is you are so easily offended. Seriously, this is the poster child for an Obama supporter, a typical liberal who knows what is best for every one. Happy Halloween, bitch.

I hope her house gets TP'd, and her car egged. In a perfect world a fat kid soaps obscenities on her window screens. Maybe someone will do the old paper bag of dog turds and firecrackers tossed on her porch.

Incompetent or with purpose?

The President is the Chief Executive Officer of the United States of America. As near as I can tell, President Obama knew nothing about these activities in his administration:

Running guns to Mexican criminals

The Justice Department dropping charges against the New Black Panthers for voter intimidation

The Justice Department for letting thousands if illegal free from detention centers during the early days of sequestration

That billions were being lost of failed new energy companies

That select republican dealerships were targeted by closer in the wake of the Government buyout of GM and Chrysler

That the IRS was targeting conservative groups

That the Government was spying on Americans

The Government was spying on foreign leaders

That anything happened in Benghazi, Libya -- ever

The ObamaCare website was not working

That millions of Americans are losing their jobs or being shuttled to part time work under the ACA

That no one is seeing health premiums reduce by $2,500 under the ACA mandates

I am certain this is only a partial list of the failures of this administration. If this was the standard of leadership in a Boy Scout troop, the individual in charge would be ousted as Patrol Leader. Obama is either the most incompetent leader ever, or he does not care about these transgressions, failures, and policy mistakes. 

Moving sure causes a lot of arguments

I suppose I should post something. Anything. There is really nothing to tell you. I am working by day, getting the last of the stuff from the house by night. I forgot how much stuff we had planted in the attic.  Being married to a pack rat is no easy task, especially when it comes to moving. I pull down boxes marked "garage sale" from the attic and put them in the pile to get rid of. The wife goes through the boxes and rescues stuff. I tell her you were prepared to get rid of that box when we put it up in the attic, it has to go now. I believe I am now speaking in Charlie Brown teacher voice, because she just ignores me. Everything should be out today, though. Then cleaning. I am so ready to be done with the southern homestead.

It is a strange thing

I finally have a few moments to blog on this early and chilly Sunday morning, but I have nothing of interest to impart. Life is sure strange.

Friday music

Today's music post will double as a weekend funny post. I will be at the homestead south for the weekend having a giant garage sale to get rid of stuff we do not want to tote to the homestead north.  We still have some loads to bring up in any case.  It will take several borrowed pickup loads or maybe another UHaul to get the balance. I have no idea where to put it. The reality of going from a 3 car garage to a normal, perhaps even small-sized, 2 car garage and no storage barn out back is evidenced by large piles of stuff with no place to put it. Then we will clean and clean and clean on the old place. We will be done and out by the end of the month. I am ready to be done. Working at the job all day, working at the house all night makes Joe a dull (and very sore and tired) boy.

Truth through humor

Secrets for wrinkle-free skin

You would think I would have plenty of stuff to share given my lack of posts lately. My life consists of work (paid) and work (house/old house). I have not had the TV on since I watched Sunday Night Football. Three hundred channel choices are going to waste.

We find ourselves on a Tuesday morning

If you are looking for insightful commentary or ripping humor or even entertaining tales you are out of luck. The mundane rules my life.  I am still wrestling with wireless issues -- trying to connect my wireless printer to the network, making my company internet phone connect, etc.  I got the laptop and the iPad, and the phones all connected, it is the bigger things that are causing issues.

I still have a bunch of stuff to move from the old house, either to here, the dump, or to storage. With only a few exceptions I am leaning towards the dump, but I do need shovels and rakes and Christmas decorations I guess.The wife has some different ideas about what is valuable.

The garage is still full of boxes. Blogging will remain slow for the foreseeable future. The past few weeks have shown me blogging is not my personal Brokeback Mountain; I can quit you. Sorry about that.

Movin' on up to the North Side

I am typing this post from my new sooper-sekrit office location on what looks to be a sunny but cool Sunday morning. I can see the sun rising over the trees from my window. I love my view. Yes, we are in the new house, but not yet moved completely out of the old one.  How did we accumulate so much shit?  Where are we going to put it? That is the task for this week, get the few remaining things out that need to go to the new house and sort the balance for a massive garage sale next weekend. I guess some stuff will be stuffed into our rented storage.

Moving went well, but I am sore as can be. Some from painting, some from moving. I would like to take a day off, but we have to be out of the old place by the end of the month and there is lots of work to do. Besides, the magic fairies did not unload the boxes here. I suppose they were out drinking and dithering with the elves. Stupid moving fairy sluts.

I cheated a bit.  I hired a couple of guys to unload the heavy stuff and carry it upstairs. I felt like a slacker watching them work, but it was worth every penny. They were great guys and did not complain as my wife had them move furniture from place to place to make sure it was where she wanted it.

Any way, I am back up and running.

A football post

This is a rant about the NFL, the Indianapolis Colts in particular. You get to read it because I do not have a water cooler companion to vent upon.

Today's NFL is a passing league.  The old three yards and a cloud of dust disappeared with Woody Hayes. The leading teams light up the scoreboard with a potent passing attack: New England, Denver, New Orleans, Green Bay. The Ravens won the Super Bowl last year on a resurgent passing attack from Joe Flacco.

Indianapolis has decided it is going to be a running team.  Quarterback Andrew Luck took the team to the playoffs last year with a strong passing game.  This year the Colts coaches seem determined to make sure the offense is balanced, at the expense of the best play makers on offense -- Luck, Wayne, and Hilton. Why? A running team has not won the championship in years.  In fact, the teams with the best running game usually do not even make the playoffs. Denver is putting up 35 points a game. Three field goals is not going to cut it. I will not even get into the insane conservative play calling. Why punt on 4th and 3 when your defense has not stopped the opponent all night long? I thought the Colts were build ing a power running team? I guess they don't believe it either. Colts management always talk about building a beast, perhaps it is time to unleash it?

Consider this

Do you know my wife?

If so, you are aware she has a lot of shit items, baskets, knick-knacks, etc. Lots and lots of it. She could open her own country decorating store with the stuff she does not even have displayed. I keep telling her we are going to need more boxes. Many, many, many more boxes.

A list for the listless

The grass is ankle high at the current house. It rained all last weekend and I mowed at the new house in the brief interval of non-rain. The yard needs mowed at the new house again. That is today's task, mow both yards. I also have to paint the living room, dining room, family room and hall this weekend. The ONE IN CHARGE has determined the color "we" painted my office is not acceptable and it will have to be repainted too.

I was gone all week for a sales meeting, so I am way behind at work, I have several significant customer visits that must be done sooner rather than later. I swore in August I would never let my expense reports get so far behind again, yet here we are in mid-October and I have not compiled receipts since August.

THE ONE IN CHARGE thinks I need to be there as counter tops and furniture and appliances are chosen, although my opinion is neither solicited nor wanted on the subject. That takes time, as in her world you do not just go buy what you need, you must shop.  In my spare time I suppose we should start packing. Still, you should note I took time for you. You are the best.

Where have you been, Joe?

Here, among other places this week. Do you recognize this scenic overlook? You should. It is pivotal in our history.

I bet

The Obama is going to be pissed when he finds out I was viewing the Washington Monument across the Potomac today from Reagan Airport. Since the government is shut down I know we are not supposed to look at that stuff.

A musical interlude

This is disgusting

There is no reason to barricade outdoor monuments in a grassy area*. Petty, childish, malevolent, capricious, choose your adjective.

Says a Park Service ranger of the harassment, “We’ve been told to make life as difficult for people as we can. It’s disgusting.” Yes, it is.

It sure proves a point to spend more money closing something than it takes to leave it open.  This is your President, America.  As Doug Ross said, if they can be this petty and spiteful ofver the budget, imagine what they can do with your healthcare. Will you be denied insulin if you vote for the wrong candidate?

*nor parts of the ocean
Nor State highways that offer a distant view of Mt. Rushmore

Weekend Funny

What do you get when you cross a penis with a potato?

A dick-tater

...and boy are my arms tired

Three bedrooms and one bath done, 6 million zillion square feet to go. I have been a painting fiend this week. The rolling I don't mind, it is the detail trim work that kills me. My declining vision does not help.  What I used to do with a quick steady swipe of a good brush is now hard work. My elbow and arm and back are aching. The legs are a bit sore too; lots of up and down when painting. Thankfully, the wife has determined the walls are acceptable in the living room and dining room, so I do not have to do those walls. We are going to outsource the two-story entrance way.  Did I mention I would rather scoop dog turds bare-handed than paint? Working the job by day, painting every evening is a task for youngsters. I guess I am reliving my youth. Moving the furniture still lies over the horizon.

No Friday music today. I am sure there will be buckets of tears about that.

Harry Reid is a gasbag

What a weasel. Harry Reid claims that "ObamaCare is the law of the land, it is time to move on". Slavery, Prohibition, Denying women the right to vote, Jim Crow laws, internment for Japanese-Americans are just a few examples of bad legislation that constituted the "law of the land".

I guess Reid is just sticking with Democrat policy, the Democrats fought freeing the slaves and giving equal rights to all for nearly two centuries. I guess supporting bad policy is in a Democrat's genes. Mostly I suppose Reid is pissed about the loss of funding for cowboy poetry again.

You might want to note

During a (partial) Government shutdown the military gets paid.  Social Security checks keep coming.  The post office is open. Oh, Senators and Congressmen and the President continue to get paid.

Fuck 'em all. How about we find elected officials who remember they are there to represent the state, their district -- in other words the voters -- not the Party. Every Democrat who toes the party line on ObamaCare is thwarting the will of the majority of Americans.

By the way, Mr. President, has it ever occured to you that the people who want to do away with your disastrous Healthcare Takeoover are doing what their voters sent them to Washington to do?  Are you so narcissistic to think you are the only politician with a mandate?

A quarter of a century

Please join me in wishing my son a happy birthday today. No, dear reader, this is not a re-run, or a left over post. You should not get confused.  Today is my oldest son's birthday! He turns 25 today. If you are keeping track, and I have no doubt you are since my life is paramount to your interests; all three of my kids have a birthday within two weeks. My daughter and youngest were born in September, my middle on on the first day of October. Today's birthday boy used to complain that it was not fair he had to wait a month  to celebrate his birthday.

I have questions

Why is it that the Republicans have to compromise with the Democrats?  Why don't the Senate Democrats compromise to the House of Representative's position? The media would have you believe it is the Republicans being recalcitrant. It is Harry Reid and the Senate Democrats who refuse to accommodate the American people -- after all there are more elected Republicans at the Federal level than Democrats. Public polling shows the public wants ObamaCare gone or at least reformed in significant ways (choose any poll you like, they all agree). Americans want the Feds to spend less money, but the Democrats refuse to pass a budget.

I say shut the f-er down. Stand firm, see who blinks.

I know, the Stupid Party will cave. The leadership has no backbone. I suspect I am not alone when I tell you this crisis is an audition of sorts for the Republican Party. My votes future support and donations are at stake. Do they want to be the party of conservative values, of limited government or do they want to be Democrat-lites and moderates?

Twenty

Join me in wishing my youngest son best wishes for a happy 20th birthday today. Yes, long time readers, the little one is twenty years old!

Hooray! Woot!

Forget that boring crap below, I have breaking news of the best kind! 

There was Wonder Bread at the store today! Queue up the marching band! Use more exclamation points!

Ch-ch-changes

I am certain it is fair to say I have been a faithful correspondent at this blog. I make no claims as to quality, but I have presented you with quantity. I have averaged about 40 posts a month since the last week of March 2005 (102 months and 4,230 posts). There are people who post more. But all things considered, I think I have faithfully followed the Acidman's admonition to post every single day*.

Anyway, this post is to beg your indulgence in the coming weeks as my electronic scribblings may miss a day or two here and there. I am facing a brutal work schedule and the wife and I have decided to make some changes. We bought a house on the north side of the big city this week. We are leaving this hamlet for the delights of suburbia.

The change was harder for my wife than it was for me. We have lived in this town for 24 years (not in the same house). She has strong ties to the community and knows a lot of people here. I have never worked locally. When we first moved here and I worked at a factory, it was in another town. When I went into sales it was in an office by my lonesome. Working from home has also kept me sheltered. I know some folks from coaching various sports when my kids were small, but I have not formed the attachment my wife has through raising the kids, school, PTO,play group, clubs, and work.

In any case this is my typical long-winded way of telling you that painting and packing and moving and maintaining my work schedule will all take precedence over bloggedity philosophizing. Oh, it could be I won't miss a beat. After all, as evidenced by much of my body of work, I spend about 15 minutes a day writing this stuff. But I am warning you things may get spotty.

All of which begs the question, would anyone have even noticed?**


*sadly, today much of the blog world has no idea who the Acidman was.
**nothing like ending a post with a one sentence paragraph comprised of passive voice. That is surely the way to leave 'em longing for more!

Weekend Funny

A five year old boy asked his friend what a penis was. His friend's response was that he would ask his dad. That evening the second boy asked his father. His dad gladly exposed himself to his son, and holding his penis in one hand said "Son, this is a penis. In fact, if you take a closer look you will see this is a perfect penis."

The next day the boy saw his friend at recess and called him behind a hedge. The boy exposed himself and whispered "This is a penis. In fact, if it was three inches shorter, it would be a perfect penis."

Friday Covers

Neal Young is a lousy singer. His tone is akin to cats fighting inside a metal trash can.  Somehow, his tone is perfect for the songs he writes.



Jewel has a beautiful voice, but this version just seems to lack the emotion Young puts into it, for me, it comes across as contrived.



Metal band Seether offers a straight-up take.  I rather like this one.

Oh yeah, he did mention something about that...

You cannot stand it that you have no idea what I was doing yesterday while on vacation. I know it is true. I suspect you sat around mumbling all evening, changing the channels in frustration, your attention span shortened, your temper kicking off with the slightest provocation. I am certain you tossed and turned all night, kicking the sheets and blankets off, pulling them over your head in an endless cycle of restless dozing.

Or maybe not.

Anyway, here is a brief musical interlude that hints at the events not far in my future:



Plus, it is always good to jam with The Animals

It is Trash Day in my neighborhood

I am on vacation today. I have important stuff to do. I rolled the garbage cans to the curb already. I drank one cup of coffee and ate a granola bar. I just poured another cuppa Joe. Later, I will be very busy doing very important, life changing stuff.

I wonder...

...how many Republicans truly have the courage of their convictions? I wonder how many of our modern politicians believe in their cause sufficiently to endanger their next election? Read the biographies of the antebellum Congressmen and Senators. Some were on the wrong side of history, some stood for principles in spite of heavy public pressure. But they stood by their convictions.

Congressional courage will be tested in the coming weeks.  Let the Democrats shut down the beast. Take the blame. Remember, almost 70% of the country does not like ObamaCare. We don't want it and this is last and best hope to kill it. For once, stand firm with a clear message -- "The Democrats forced this unpopular law on us, The Democrats are shutting down the Government."  Repeat every time a talking head shoves a microphone in your face with the conviction of a POW citing name, rank, and serial number.  Say no more and say no less and make sure every diarrhea mouth politician in the Party sticks to the short and simple two-line script.

They really hate you and wish you would die a slow painful death.

I have long maintained history never repeats. But we can learn lessons, and history never lies (historians do, that is another post, though). Lefties get outraged, they stamp their feet, cover their ears and mumble "na,na,na,na" when we point out the record of tyranny, murder, and misery perpetuated by the leftist governments in the past 100 or so years. The lessons of the French Revolution are ignored as mere excess. Yet the the height of the Reign of Terror saw French Society adopt every leftists' wet dream -- outlawing religion, class warfare on a grand scale, the rich losing their heads just for being rich, complete and total equality. Every citizen was guaranteed and equal outcome, not opportunity. The result was squalor, famine, and despotism. It was like Occupy Wall Street and the Haymarket riots and Mao and Joe Stalin combined in one bloody monumental failure.

But that could never happen in America. Our lefties are civilized, they only want the best for America.  Our Progressives only want to help the less fortunate. That is why they are using the IRS to target Americans who hold a different viewpoint. That is why we see lefties hoping Second Amendment supporter's kids get shot, like a professor in Kansas tweeted.  That is why Democrats wish those who oppose ObamaCare could be denied healthcare. 

No, Lefties in America would never succumb to the historical excesses imposed whenever progressive ideology has been implemented.  The previous sentence is dripping in sarcasm in case your screen does not recognize my custom sarcasm font.

Weekend observations

The wife and I made our way to Brown County, Indiana on Saturday afternoon. Nashville is a charming little tourist trap arts and crafts community. Mostly, I stood or sat around outside people watching while the wife fought the crowds in the shops and stores. The weather was pleasant and following her around was better than mowing the yard or cleaning the garage or doing other chores.

I will say this about the crowds; if every person walking the streets of Nashville in Harley garb actually owned a Harley-Davidson motorcycle, that company would be more valuable than Apple and there would be more black and orange badged cycles on the roads than cars built by GM.

Save the puppies!

What say you wish my big brother the happiest of birthdays today?

Hope you have a good one Otter.

Weekend Funny

A lady goes to the doctor and complains that her husband is losing interest in sex. The doctor gives her a pill, but warns her that it's still experimental. He tells her to slip into her husband's mashed potatoes at dinner. So that night she does just that.

A week later she is back at the doctor and and says "Doc, the pill worked great! I put it into his potatoes like you said. Not even five minutes later he jumped up, raked the dishes and food onto the floor, ripped off all of my clothes and ravished me right there on the table!"

The Doctor says, "I'm sorry, we did not realize the pill was so strong. The drug company will pay for the broken dishes and any damages."

"Nah", she says, "That's OK. We're not going back to that restaurant anyway."

Coffee and cartridges

See, here is the thing, if the Big Cheese at Starbucks decides that asking you not tote a gun onto his premises is the best thing for his business and stockholders, so be it. Buy your coffee elsewhere. Make it at home. Start your own coffee shop. You have options. Your rights are not being trampled here.

Variations on a theme

There should be a law...

Words fail me. Our perhaps it is the ability to form words. Or maybe I just don't know what the heck I am doing.

I have had this vague outline for a post rattling around in my brain for a long time now. I am frustrated in that I lack the ability to move my thoughts to paper electronic screen. It is, alas, a nostalgia post. Perhaps you enjoy those walks back through my own Vaseline-smeared lens of past reflection. More likely, you read a line or two and move on. Such is life in the blogging world.

My great-grandma Hoosierboy's house had a particular smell that I can sniff clearly in my brain but escapes description via letters and words. It was the smell of cooking grease, and pipe tobacco, and old people; all supported by a subtle, permeating odor of apples in the cellar. It is my failure to accurately depict that particular olfactory base that plagues me to no end.

I never imagined myself a good writer. I strike out more often than not. I have occasionally hit a solid single up the middle. A few times I succeed with a little bloop to shallow right. The post swirling unformed in my skull will take true Mantle-esque home run power, perhaps even juiced with steroids and a corked bat to succeed.  Unfortunately, that effort is far beyond my meager writing skills. I fear I will never put the unformed thoughts to electronic page and you will never have the option skip right over the words.

Can we check some facts?

Popular sentiment is the public punished the Republicans severely for shutting down the Government during the Clinton administration. But the losses in the following 1996 elections amounted to two seats in the House of Representatives. Republicans gained two seats in the Senate.  Clinton bowed under pressure to institute welfare reform and budget cuts, and Republicans maintained control of Congress. The result of the governmental shutdown was not the stinging rebuke from the electorate the media or Republican leadership would have us believe.

The media went apeshit and was mean to sitting Congressmen, but in the end, the shutdown had little effect on the Party and a significant effect on policy going forward. Clinton won the propaganda war, the Republicans won the policy war.  I will take that every time.

Dear Republican Party

I am sorry to put this in such stark terms. I am a conservative first, Republican second. It is time for for all Republicans to stand for your beliefs. Perhaps you should take a page from the Democrat playbook.  They took the opportunity to pass ObamaCare when they had a chance, despite the certainty it would cost the party seats in the House and Senate. Wrong-headed legislation was the result, but at least they stood by their political convictions. It is time to see if the Republican Party is the Party of Reagan or of  Rockefeller. If the Republican Party is really aiming to be Democrats-lite, it is time to find an organization that represents my political beliefs.

Too many Republicans, especially the leadership, are only interested in staying in power. During the last election top Republicans were livid over right-wing TEA Party types offering primary challenges to old-line Republican RINOs. I say better a Democrat than a Democrat-lite. Who wants RC when Coke is available?

You are faced with an opportunity to slow and or stop ObamaCare. Every Republican has paid lip service to ending this miserable legislation. Now it is time to put courage to your convictions. If this is not the issue to take a stand, then what is? At some point you must have principles, even if it means you may lose the next election. We sent you to Congress to represent the People, not the Party. Perhaps the leadership of the Republican Party failed to pay attention in history class. In the antebellum period the Whigs tried to straddle the slavery issue, mouthing platitudes, but never taking a firm stand, more interested in winning elections than doing the right thing. In case you have not noticed, there has not been a Whig Party for 150 years.

I am certain I speak for millions of Americans when I vow going forward I will vote only for candidates that represent my limited Government, free enterprise convictions -- regardless of party.  If that means I have to "waste" my vote on Libertarian legalize marijuana nut-jobs, so be it. If that means I "waste" my vote by choosing "none of the above", so be it. I would rather let a liberal win than vote for a moral political coward only interested in power, not principle. I will never hold my nose and choose the "lesser of two evils" again. After all, isn't that still a vote for evil?

UPDATE:
It looks like I am not alone when I say shut it down,  cut spending, defund the ACA. Most of you agree with me.

You want gun control?

Then how about we have Obama stop arming Mexican Drug Lords, and terrorist groups in Syria? I suspect not giving those killers weapons would have saved far more lives than the creation of a gun registry in America. Never running guns to Mexico is more likely to save lives than limiting magazines capacities at home.

If Obama had a son...

Some how, some way, I am certain the criminal, murderous SOB who shot up the Washington Naval Yard only did it to avenge St. Treyvon of Skittles.

Did Obama really pass the bar exam?

The Constitution is not a hard document to read or understand. Most first year law students can understand the separation of powers contained therein. Heck, most 9th grade civics students get it. Apparently, President Obama, despite being touted as a Constitutional Law Professor Instructor lecturer, has no understanding of the powers of the Legislative branch.

Congress is responsible for passing a budget. In addition, all spending bills must originate in the House of Representatives. (Article I section 7)(Article I section 8). In The Obama's narcissistic world, anyone not giving in to his desires is "thwarting Constitutional structure".  I maintain the only thwarting of the Constitutional structure that is going on in the budget process is the passing of  continuing resolutions (CR) in lieu of actually passing a budget.

Like it or not, Obama is not a dictator, nor a king. Straight from Mr. Wadell's ninth grade civics lectures: the Legislative Branch passes law, The Judicial Branch interprets law, the Executive Branch carries it out. As I said, it really should not be so hard for a graduate of Harvard Law to understand basic Constitutional structure. Too bad the ass-licking sycophant Stepolopugus did not have the brains, backbone, or integrity to call the President on this ridiculous quote.

Words fail me

I hoist a tall one to  a man I have read for almost ten years. I have lived vicariously through your adventures on sailboats, with Stretch, through life. You and your woman are in my prayers.

You will be missed.

Pining for a time I never knew

It is chilly again this morning, 43F at the time of this electronic scribbling. I spent yesterday trimming up some bushes and putting the finishing touches on a desk I am painting. It was a cheap wooden desk that was bright blue when it resided in my daughter's room back when she was in high school and middle school. Now it is black.

This morning I had the inexplicable urge to do some remodeling around the old blog. It was time for a change. Do not panic, I suspect after a few days the whole shebang will revert back to the simple layout you have come to to expect. In all seriousness, the hardest blog change I ever did was to move the blog roll from the left side to the right side.

What?  Oh, you want to know about the new blog title.  I have always regretted the original nom de journal I chose when I started this collection of rants, musings and trash. I have never been able to conjure a better blog title; one with zing and panache. I like the title of my other blog, the one I never use, but it does not sing to me either. Heck, I have issues coming up with post titles. I guess after eight years it is OK to change. Don't get too used to it, though.

My personality is bent toward nostalgia. I have dined on a couple of occasions at old supper clubs, One in Wichita and one near Dayton. The faded elegance spoke to me of a time gone by, where highballs, martinis, and fine steaks were enjoyed and digested to the accompaniment of dance bands and recordings of Frank and Ella. Where the dulcet toes of Nat King Cole provided a background to the laughter and enjoyment of a night out on the town. The supper club image hails to a time in my mind when men wore suits to dinner and ladies sported furs over their shoulders and long gloves with their strapless dresses, sparkling with sequins.

Then the baby boomers and f-ing hippies ruined it all. The supper clubs became public restaurants, the nightclubs turned into discos. Country clubs became snack bars. The Moose, and Elks, and Eagles are mere bars, where they even still exist. Men do not wear suits to work, hats are replaced with ball caps. Nike T-shirts and jeans are the accepted costume of the day. We have become a society built for comfort. We interact more with our fellow man than ever, but the art of personal contact is slowly being lost in the clutter of electronic communication.

September 14

Happy Birthday to my daughter. You may be 27, but you will always be my little girl.

Happiest Place on Earth

Now we can get something done

Since Putin has bailed The Obama out of the foreign policy mess the President and his idiot SecState created, maybe we can get the Russians to get our economy moving, do something about unemployment and start building the Keystone XL pipeline.

It is a sad damn day when we have to look to the fucking Ruskies for world leadership.  We really are living in Jimmah Carter's third term.

Friday Music

For Dave.  More from the Tales of Mystery and Imagination album.

Appropriate for a Friday the 13th I think.

Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus, but even he is slack-jawed over this display

Who is responsible for this outrage?

Yes, Dear Readers, that is an actual cell phone photo* depicting the Christmas display at the Von Maur store at Castleton Square Mall in Indianapolis. The display was on both sides of the main aisle.

This picture was taken TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 10,2013. It is still more than six week until Halloween. By the way, the temperature on this date in Indianapolis was 96 F. 


*I am no photographer -- ignore the shitty quality of the image

September 11

If you need me to remind you of the horrible events tied to this date, you should probably spend your time reading different blogs.

Dear Mr. President

We are all set to hear you speechify this evening about why we need to spend American treasure and lives to intervene in a civil war in Syria.  I am more interested in the why now? The cynic in me remembers how Bill Clinton bombed an aspirin factory when the Monica Lewinski affair first came to light and words keep popping in my brain: Benghazi, NSA spying on Americans, using the IRS to target political opponents, Fast and Furious, Growing discontent over ObamaCare, declining workforce, unemployment in the minority community, Keystone XL Pipeline, sluggish economy, assaults on the Second Amendment, skyrocketing electricity costs...Why?, indeed.

I assume, Mr. Obama, you will be boxing up that Peace Prize and shipping back to the Nobel people this week? More importantly, I just have to know how all of this is Bush's fault.

With apologies

Sorry, sometimes there are events in life far more important than the old blog. This is one of those times. I am sure you can live without my input for a few days.

You will be fine. Think of it as going through the day without training wheels. 

Not in the mood

No post today.

That is except the post that indicates there is no post. It is kind of like a mirror reflecting in a mirror, reflecting in a mirror...

Friday Music

Steve Winwood and company.

I don't know about you, but I'm Glad it is Friday.

See what I did there?

Are your ready for some football?

The NFL season kicks off this evening. I know. As Dr. Maturin would say "He who puns would pick a pocket". I am one of those people who much prefers professional football to college football.

Unfortunately,  I will be high above the earth in a flying aluminum tube when the game starts. By the time I shuffle down the aisle, up the jetway, through the airport, out to the parking lot and into my car for the hour drive home, the game will be in its late stages and I will be at my energy limit.

I am not sure what I was thinking when I opted for the late flight this trip.

Sobering Thought

The wife and I went for some Mexican food last night. On the way we passed one of the local funeral homes.  The parking lot was packed. It occurred to me that if I happened to assume room temperature today, outside of my family, I doubt a dozen people would show up to pay their final respects.

Today's Truth

H/T Instapundit

Any place but here

I am chanelling the Go-Go's this morning. I need a vacation.

I am tempted at every turn. I get emailed unbelievable cruise deals nearly every day, and the Hilton Hotel people want me to use some of those points I accumulate on a regular basis. They email me offers to visit exotic destinations and remind me of my point balance. The airlines offer me reduced fares to get there, wherever 'there' may be.
 
Instead I got up early and did some work. My monthly report for August is due, so I knocked it out before turning to the old blog this morning. It is business plan time and forecasts and numbers are taunting me and laughing at me and calling me names just like the school bullies did back at Samuel P. Kyger Elementary School. The business plan developed for 2013 has turned into the king of all wedgies as Obamanonics continues to hold the economy hostage. Things are not looking much brighter for 2014. How is that Hope and Change workin' out for you?

We should bomb Syria back to the stone age

Not really. We should stay out of it.

Here is an interesting article about our hypocrite-in-chief and his desire to appear manly. Is there anything Obumbler has done that is not a total screw-up? Here is a taste:

On the perils of going it alone without allies

“Where the stakes are the highest, in the war on terror, we cannot possibly succeed without extraordinary international cooperation. Effective international police actions require the highest degree of intelligence sharing, planning and collaborative enforcement.” (2004)

So far no European or Arab nation has offered military support for our planned effort against Syria.

I wonder what the liberals who think Bush was evil incarnate and claim Iraq was the "most shameful event in our nation's history" like EOB think about The Obama and his claims he will bomb Syria even if Congress fails to grant approval? Where is Cindy Sheehan? Where are the Code Pinker twits in their twat costumes?

Almost forgot to title this one

We went to see The Way Way Back last night. It was a first rate movie and both the wife and I enjoyed it very much. That will have to suffice for my review, you can read the link for critics reviews. Personally, I rarely pay attention to critics, they  need to find meaning in every movie, while I simply want to be entertained.  Generally if dickwads like the late Roger Ebert hated a movie it was a sure bet I would like it. Similarly, if he loved a movie the odds were pretty good I would find it a yawner. For example, the classic Dumb and Dumber is funny as hell. Is it stupid -- Yes. Does it have redeeming social value -- no. Will it be listed one of the greatest films ever -- not likely. Would I rather watch a couple of guys cross the country in a giant dog van or an artistic, critically acclaimed movie like The Piano? No contest. I bet most of you agree, even if you will not admit it. In the case of The Way Way Back, the critics and I actually agree -- it is a good movie.

Head scratcher of the day

Sometimes the interwebz is a scary place. I used a popular search engine -- the one that rhymes with 'joogle' -- to search for images of the small flap of skin between the thumb and forefinger known as the web on your hand. I intended to compose a smart-assed post to counter the comments on my previous post. Apparently that part of the hand has become a common location for body piercing! WTH? How do you grab a hold of anything with a chunk of metal embedded there? I am so out of touch with popular culture it is plain sad. I suppose if one could find a way to attach a non-slip/heat resistant silicone strip it could be handy. But I have gloves for that.

The sky is dark and gloomy this morning. We had some big thunderstorms roll through last night and the leaden clouds are still lounging in the sky, pregnant with rain. We needed the rain. My yard was starting to dry up and turn brown. The wife forgot to water a couple of the hanging plants while I was gone for work this week and they have dried in to brown globs. I don't think the rain will revive them to their former glory. I will likely have to mow in the next few days now.

A piece of glass cut me yesterday on the web of my left hand. The cut is  maybe a quarter of an inch in diameter, but it bled like ...well I don't know, let's just say a lot for such a little cut. It would have been much worse if I was not wearing gloves at the time. Am I turning into a closet liberal?  See how I blamed the glass? Goodness. I cut myself with a piece of glass through carelessness. There, responsibility placed on me, me, me not an inanimate object.


I hope your weekend is going well.

For the record

It may be Labor Day Weekend, but I am off to bust my ass helping a buddy do some renovation work. It is going to hot as Hades.

Friday Music

Blasphemy, but Dean Martin was probably a better singer than Frank. From the recordings I have he was a hell of an entertainer. His on stage drunk persona made him famous, yet usually he was stone sober when he performed.

Here is the song performed as originally written by Cole Porter:



For comparison, here is Frank doing the tune:

What a dickwad

Frank Straub was Director of Public Safety in Indianapolis when a cop, smashed into some motorcycles, killing one and injuring two citizens.  The cop is waiting trial for being drunk when he committed this action. The cop has since been busted again for drunk driving. Somehow, the blood draw was screwed up, and evidence tampered with, all under Straub's direction of the department.

Straub is example 1A of the Peter Principle. Now he has turned up as Police Chief in Spokane. He actually blames the murdered victim in a crime for trying to defend himself during a robbery. A retired WWII vet is beaten to death by two thugs (why no, blacks beating a white guy could never be racism) and somehow in Frank Straub's twisted world it is 88 year-old Shorty Belton's fault he got killed.

Frank Straub gives cops a bad name. What a douchebag.

Wednesday Quiz

In 1971 I used routinely published a feature on this old blog called the Wednesday Quiz. You can find it back in the archives. Since I am lazy and cannot think up a witty, or insightful collection of words and phrases today, I am going to bring back an old but good feature. After all, networks trot out new versions of old game shows and Hollywood has made it a staple to remake movies and TV shows into new features. How many more Superman or Batman movies do we need? I will not even discuss the Scooby Doo movies.

So here goes, Here is your Wednesday Quiz for today. Can you ID this hottie from the past?

You will be surprised at my identity -- I'm famous!

No cheating with a search engine.  leave your guess answer in the comments. There will be prizes. At least there as far as you are concerned.

I can't hardly wait

It looks like the Administration is planning attacks in Syria. I cannot wait for the Liberal bloggers to go bat shit.  I occasionally read one in particular who believes that the Bush incursion into Iraq was "the most shameful action in the history of the country".

It is ironic, in Syria we will be supporting Al Qaeda.

Remember when prominent Democrats claimed the President had no authority to send troops into a foreign nation without Congressional approval?  Remember when prominent Democrats wanted to impeach GW for the attacks that led to regime change in Iraq?  What? You want me to name names?  OK, one of the Senators who was adamant the President needed approval was some guy from Illinois called Barack Obama. The Senator calling for impeachment was Joe Biden.

I guess Libya did not count, since we were "leading from behind".At least Bush had the excuse of broken UN sanctions on his side. Syria is just a mess.

Liberals, progressives, Democrats, hypocritical types will cry for proof. How about letting top Democrats speak for themselves?:

Worst President Ever

I have made no secret I think Obama is a lousy President. I find it hard to point to one positive accomplishment. Perhaps getting us kinda, sorta, mostly out of Iraq qualifies. I might even point toward setting an end point to our involvement in Afghanistan, but the way we are going about it seems like the whole last decade was an exercise in wasting the lives of thousands of young Americans. Billions of dollars and thousands of lives pissed away in the arsehole of the earth with the end result leaving the Taliban in charge and nothing different from September 10, 2001. Bin Laden is dead, there is that.

The failure of the war on Terror can not be laid completely at the feet of the current occupant of the White House. The previous administration (and the one before that) have tried to wage  bloodless war. We have opted for high precision attacks, hoping against hope that no Americans die, no civilians die, and only the worst of the enemy leaders expire. It seems the politicians, the press, and perhaps even the people no longer have the stomach to unleash the dogs of war. I did not serve. Perhaps that sentiment is well and good. I am in no position to say what is the right way to wage war.

Anyway, I was reflecting on the achievements of the current occupant of the White House before I was sidetracked by my own wandering mind. Is Obama the worst President in history? He is not the most ineffective, Carter still wins that battle.  His has wrought changes that may well bode ill for the future. One can not argue Obama is incompetent and ineffective then blame him for ObamaCare and massive deficits. You can not attribute long-term damage to society, the economy, and the American way and then call him the golfer-in-chief.

I do think we are in the midst of a long period of very bad Presidents. The string of Bush, Clinton, Bush, and Obama will likely vie with the stretch of Presidents starting with William Henry Harrison through Buchanan (Harrison, Tyler, Polk, Taylor, Filmore, Pierce, Buchanan) for the weakest string of Executives in American history.  Just as I forget Filmore when trying to recite the list of Presidents in my brain, future Americans will likely forget the weak sisters that occupied the White House at the turn of the millennium.

Obama can rest assured, he is not the worst President in history. That mark must now and forever belong to adopted Indiana son William Henry Harrison who managed to get sick at his inaugural. He spent the next month wasting away in bed before croaking. There is nary a positive action on his part as Chief Executive.

Tips for pruning a Japanese Maple

It is Monday, here you are fresh off your weekend looking to me for your Monday entertainment, political analysis, and sheer profundity.  I am drawing a big old bucket of blank. Oh, I could revel you with tales of my weekend, of my personal issues, of my deepest secrets and fantasies, or the cool stuff going on in my life. I could. I won't. I might on another day.

Instead, I will toss up a video of my favorite band. You will watch it.  You will like it. You will buy the music on iTunes or Amazon. If necessary, you will even lie to me in the comments and confirm all of the above. Remember this post?

Here is a video of the event.

Weekend Funny

I just received an audit on my tax return for 2012 back from the IRS. It puzzles me!!!
They are questioning how many dependents I claimed.
I guess it was because of my response to the question: "List all dependents?"
I replied: 12 million illegal immigrants; 3 million crack heads;
42 million unemployed people on food stamps,
2 million people in over 243 prisons;
Half of Mexico ; and 535 persons in the U.S. House and Senate."
1 useless President.
Evidently, this was NOT an acceptable answer.
I KEEP ASKING MYSELF, WHO DID I MISS?



h/t Otter

Stuff I have seen

Cruise ships in dock -- Nassau, The Bahamas

I was down at the local booze bazaar last night picking up some beer. The guy in front of me was probably in his late twenties/early thirties. The clerk asked for ID. he already had it out and ready. The clerk apologized and told him company policy was to see two forms of identification for anyone under 40. She looked sheepish and said "Its not my rule, OK?" The man was not upset, but told her he would have to fetch it from his truck. He came back in moments and his transaction was completed.

I stepped to the register, she rang up my beer and told me the amount.  I handed her my debit card. As she did the swipe thing I asked her if she needed to see my driver's license. She looked at me for 1/100000th of a second and said "No, I think you are OK". I laughed.

But I cried inside.

Friday Music

One of my favorite tunes.  Steve Howe plays some beautiful guitar solos starting at the 4:15 mark.



I like the live version even better. Again, listen to guitar at the 4:08 mark and the extended solo starting at 9:25.

The live Yessongs album is probably my most played record.  I went through two copies on vinyl(three albums!) and now have the 2 disc set on CD. I probably listen to parts of the album at least three times a week.

Does anyone even listen to these Friday tracks?

Does anyone care?

Mostly 'cause I don't want to change, that is why.

Educators and the elites are always clamoring that Americans need to be bi-lingual.  Most high schools and universities have a foreign language requirement. Who among us has not been confused by the conjugation of verbs and still remembers the little French dity about three cats out on a lake, "un, deux trois quatre cinq". Or how to say "Where is Jose?" in Spanish.

Yet just this morning  I read an article in Scientific American telling me my unique bi-lingualness when it comes to measurements makes me an ignorant fool. The only real argument the author makes as to why we should adopt the metric system is the old "everyone else uses it". Didn't your Mom ever explain that being a lemming is unacceptable, Mr. Wogan?

Look, anyone involved in science or manufacturing or who has contacts in international business already uses the metric system.  I know the magic '2.54' formula by heart. If you read an assembly drawing or manufacturing specifications I bet you do too.  But if you do not need to use a metric measurement, then who cares if you use a quart when estimating the quantity of blueberries or your own personal unit of measure such as "half of that old coffee can"? Most of us do not have an exact knowledge of how many tomatoes are in a peck, but we can agree that that little basket of yellow ones and red ones is what I want to buy. I'll be damned if I know exactly what volume makes up a bushel of apples, but I know it is what fits in that basket under the workbench.

I have metric wrenches and sockets in my tool box. You might argue it is silly to have two sets of everything. I don't mind. So what if in my brain water boils at 212 and freezes at 32?  I know zero is really cold and 100 is really hot weather and that means far more to me than 40 Celsius. I know a pint's a pound, and every damn recipe my grandma and mom perfected over the years works in ounces and cups will not convert perfectly in grams and centiliters.

I know how much gas is a gallon. I may have to buy my Coke in a 2 liter bottle, but I also know when I go to Florida and the grocery is pawning off three liters of milk as opposed to a gallon for a similar price I am getting cheated. Buying gas in Canada may sound cheap at 1.89/ liter, but when that converts to more than seven bucks a gallon the price is pretty damn high.

The metric system is taught in our schools, at least in backwards Indiana. Those of us who need to use the SI (metric system) can and do. Frankly, I do not really care if someone in Europe can make sense of an inch or a pint. I can converse with them in their language of measurement when I need to. Isn't that enough?

As a personal aside, if one of my friends insisted on conversing with me only in Celsius and liters and meters, I would consider him a total dickwad, a typical liberal snob, and an all around pompous ass. The author comes across as an elitist, the sort who only buys carrots fertilized in the shit from wild coyotes and tofu processed with the sterilized piss of rare albino squirrels.  I suspect he drives his Prius 30 miles round trip to buy only free range pesticide free organic corn for $6.00 an ear. I have no doubt the author is chagrined and angry that the farmer won't take his Euro in place of the good old US dollar. After all, the Euro is the currency of Europe, a billion people use the Chinese Yuan, why should we use something different in America?

Who is with me?

There has been a lot of talk in Republican circles and conservative-leaning publications about defunding ObamaCare. The argument centers around whether the upcoming vote on a Continuing Resolution (CR) should include the funds to administer the roll-out and administrative costs for the ACA (ObamaCare).

The Congress uses a CR to fund the government for a certain period of time in lieu of actually passing a budget. I suspect I am in the minority when I say I don't care if Republicans cut ObamaCare funding in the CR or not. Let me explain. I am steadfast in opposition to a CR at all. One of the few requirements of Congress is to pass a budget. Under the Constitution, the standing army must be refunded every two years. No money can be spent from the Treasury except by law. I maintain the Congress should do the hard work and pass a budget. The House of Representatives has passed a budget, we all know what is in it.  The Senate refuses to pass a budget or compromise. Democrats do not want to be on the record for supporting trillion dollar deficits. They do not want to make responsible fiscal decisions.

So here is my position, if my Representative or Senator votes for a Continuing Resolution, I will never vote for them again. It is time I was represented in Congress, not the Republican or Democrat party. If my elected representatives do not take the pulse of the district or State and vote accordingly, then they do not represent me, and I will not support them going forward.

We are at a crossroads. To paraphrase Reagan, we will see in the coming months if the Republican Party has left me.

My one post of true genius

I was skimming the archives* and I ran across this post.

I think it is not only one of the best things I have ever written, but it is just as true and relevant today as in August of 2010 when I penned it.


*never you mind why.

Sometimes you find stuff on the interwebz that is too good to ignore

"The only known witness, the man who allegedly wouldn’t shut up, refused to give a statement to police."

The rest is pretty amusing too, but in a sad way.  Having your drunken troubles splattered across the front page is the price you pay for living in a small town. Believe me, the gossip was far sharper and cut deeper in Mayberry than in Mount Pilot.