August 24, 2021

Cockpit Chatter

 A jumbo jet is on its final approach coming in to Toronto Airport. The pilot comes on the intercom.

“This is your Captain speaking. We’re on our final descent into Toronto. I want to thank you for flying with us today and I hope you enjoy your stay in Toronto”.

He forgot to switch off the intercom. Now the whole plane can hear his conversation from the cockpit. The co-pilot says to the pilot, “Well, skipper, what you gonna do in Toronto?”

“Well,” says the skipper, “first I’m gonna check into the hotel and take a big crap … then I’m gonna take that new stewardess with the huge tits out for dinner….. then I’m gonna wine and dine her, take her back to my room and give it to her big-time all night.”

Everyone on the plane hears this and immediately begins looking up and down the aisle trying to get a look at the new stewardess. Meanwhile the new stewardess is at the very back of the plane. She’s so embarrassed that she starts to run to try and get to the cockpit to turn the intercom off.

Halfway down the aisle, she trips over an old lady’s bag and down she goes.

The old lady leans over and says: “No need to hurry, dear. He’s gotta use the bathroom first.”

August 23, 2021

A Monday full of complaints.

My garden has been a disappointment this year. The rabbits ate the first fruits. Then it rained. A lot. Too much. Then it got cold. Very cold for summer. Then came the drought. We got maybe 0.25 inches of rain in July. Now the ‘maters have stalled. The bell pepper just blooms. The cucumbers are white. The jalapeƱo has put out 10 or 12 nice tasty peppers, but that is it. I still have a dozen or more golf ball-sized green tomatoes. Same as I had a few weeks ago. 

Others have the same complaints. Gardens are bad this year. 

I could just say a quick “so it goes”. I could just blame it on climate change, ignoring the notion that increased warmth and CO2 is good for plant growth. Hey, let’s not let science get in the way of hysteria. Who knows. I’m on the verge of just foregoing the watering and telling the recalcitrant tomatoes they are on their own. Put out or else. 

I sat helpless in the air conditioning yesterday as the wife mowed, pulled weeds, and cleaned off the patio in blistering heat. I clumped out on my crutches a few times to offer non-existent help. Each time I hobbled back inside to the cool air. It was too hot for moral support. 

I’m going to drop a roast in the crockpot for supper. I can manage that.


August 22, 2021

Sunday Morning Coming Down

Sunday. The littlest granddaughter spent the night. I hear her stirring in her bed, always slow to get awake.  My coffee steams beside me as I type away on my iPad while perched on an end of our broken down couch. I wish I could go for a walk. 

About another week and I can get back to training for the next Olympics and a new season of American Ninja Warrior. OK, maybe just walking. I can’t wait to shed these crutches and knee scooter. I don’t even care about wearing the boot anymore. The doctor is going to have to have a really compelling reason for me to remain immobile. A very good reason. 

In other news, I have none.

Enjoy your Sunday.

Edit Why Joe, what raciiiist foods did you fix the little one for breakfast?

One of the last boxes in existence of the most horrible racist THING ever

It is gone. The empty box trashed. No one needs cower in fear any longer. Except for the Mrs. Butterworth syrup I dumped on top of my stack. That is still triggering people from my pantry. 

August 21, 2021

It is a game show

Now the Wokabees have come for the game show hosts. For some it was inexcusable that a non-POC was chosen to host Jeopardy. So in retaliation they poked and prodded until some dirt was found from the new host’s past and forced him to give up the gig. 

Richards wasn’t my first choice, but I was able to put things in perspective. It is a half hour game show on television. It really makes no difference in my life who hosts it. I will watch or not watch. Whatever. 

I’m not sure I want to live in a society that is totally unforgiving. Where we are all subject to purity tests we are doomed to fail. 

It is time corporate America stood up to the chattering mob. The Twitter universe is not the real public. How many of the perpetually outraged watched Jeopardy anyway? 

I have said and written plenty that I regret. I like to think I’ve grown over time. I prefer to believe we can be forgiven for our sins. What is hope without redemption? 

We need to quit holding people to impossible standards we couldn’t meet ourselves. 

August 20, 2021

Olly Olly Oxen Free

Come out of hiding, Joe.

Were I a leader in South Korea or Taiwan, or even A NATO ally in Europe I would be looking to my own defenses. If you think the Biden Administration is going to save you, look no further than the latest headlines. Hey, Biden was part of the team that brought us Benghazi, remember? He didn’t want to go after Bin Laden either. 

Now, in true fashion he has run off to hide, hoping his lapdog press will just let all this go away if he waits it out. He is probably right.

But at least we don’t have mean tweets to worry about. 

August 19, 2021

Men without honor

The fact that General Miley and SecDef Austin are still employed says everything you need to know about Sleepy Joe’s weakness as president. Honorable men would resign. Weak men wait to be fired. Simps refuse to fire their employees for complete failure like the debacle in Afghanistan. 

If Biden doesn’t fire them it means he agrees with their performance. That says tons about him as an executive.

Even Jimmah Carter thinks the President looks weak. 

This is not about politics. If the Pentagon didn’t correctly predict that the Afghan government would fall in days, then they should be fired. If they didn’t have a just-in-case scenario in place, they should be fired.  If we leave ANY Americans behind, they should be tried for dereliction of duty. This…blunder…has left America as weak politically as we were in 1975. It took a decade to rebuild our military then. How long will it take now? 

But hey, our 455th Transvestite POC Battalion looks spiffy in their berets and matching rainbow tunics. 

August 18, 2021

Things that make you say “hmmm”

It’s funny how things work. I took the car over to the tire store across the highway to get a leaky left rear fixed. $26 or so later I was on my way home. They said everything looked great. I found that strange since the dealership insisted when I was in there a couple of months ago my tires were shot — dangerously so. 

That proclamation instigated a most difficult conversation from me since I was promised by the lying salesman the Escape had new tires when we bought it in November. Oh, and I needed new brakes too. At thirty thousand miles. After much discussion and semi-unpleasantness (but no raising of voices) I got the brake job done gratis. I was presented a quote of nearly $900 for tires. I said I’d think on it. 

Somehow, a store whose very existence depends on replacing tires thought my tires looked fine. The dealership said failure was imminent.

My initial response to the dealer service department remains confirmed. I’ll never buy a car from them again. Either they are incompetent or they are crooks. There is no other option. 

I doubt I’ll even take it back to the dealer for the next oil change. 

August 17, 2021

Love and marriage

 Fred and Mary got married, but can’t afford a honeymoon, so they go back to Fred’s parent’s home for their first night together.

In the morning, Johnny, Fred’s little brother, gets up and has his breakfast.
As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his Mom if Fred and Mary are up yet.
She replies, “No”.
Johnny asks, “Do you know what I think?”
His mom replies, “I don’t want to hear what you think! Just go to school.”
Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, “Are Fred and Mary up yet?”
She replies, “No.”
Johnny says, “Do you know what I think?”
His mom replies, “Never mind what you think!
Eat your lunch and go back to school.”
After school, Johnny comes home and asks again, “Are Fred and Mary up yet?”
His mom says “No.”
He asks, “Do you know what I think?”
His Mom replies, “Ok, do tell me what you think?”
He says: “Last night Fred came to my room for the Vaseline and I think I gave him my airplane glue.”

August 15, 2021

What a waste

 In the coming days we will be flying the last of the Americans from Afghanistan, reminiscent Saigon circa 1975 style.  The Taliban will again be in charge. 

What did we get for our twenty year mission? How many lives were lost and destroyed? How much treasure did we take from the wallets of taxpayers, current and future? What did we accomplish? Much like our nearly two decade involvement in SE Asia, it seems all for naught. 

I suppose we can take solace in the idea that unlike the British we didn’t spend a century plus trying to tame that region. 

Edit:



August 14, 2021

Partying on Martha’s Vinyard with the Obama

I cannot believe I am still struggling to write the music post I started last Saturday. That is crazy for me. I’ve told you before, most of my posts are extemporaneous. Perhaps even impromptu. I sit down and write. The notion that I have worked on a post on and off for a week leaves me baffled. The problem is to do it right will fill a college blue book. We are talking mid-term paper effort. Frankly, I don’t want to put in that much work and anything else just won’t do the topic justice. 

The end result is the post will join the growing pile of draft post, hidden from electronic sunlight until my heirs publish them in an endless series of “lost works” anthologies after my famous self has returned to dust, like the cash-hungry heirs of Jimi Hendrix and Louis L’Amour have done. Seriously, how many times can you repackage the same old material and pass it off as something new? I see my family digging up the unpublished stuff cluttering the electronic draft folder, fading in old spiral notebooks, and on yellowing sheets of scrap paper. The public will no doubt demand it. 

What? Rest assured, I am confident my genius is going to be recognized and rewarded in my lifetime. The day is coming when I will be named by acclamation as Supreme Ruler and Potentate of all the Land, Water, and Atmosphere, Arbiter of all Things, and All Around Great Guy. This blog will be all the evidence needed to show people how to think, live, and behave. 

You are welcome. And if you stick around long enough you might even get to see the unrequited efforts hidden in the unpublished draft category. 

Oh, I got a new job. Back on the road. Outside sales. Not where I was financially. Above where I am. 

You really should always read through to the end of my bullshit.

Have a great Saturday.

August 11, 2021

Building to a crescendo



Red Light

 Two elderly women were out driving in a large car. Both could barely see over the dashboard. Cruising along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red, but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought, “I must be losing my mind. I swear we just went through a red light.”

A few minutes later, they came to another intersection, and the light was red again. Again, they went right through. This time, the woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was mistaken. She was getting nervous and decided to pay very close attention to the next intersection to see what was going on.

At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was definitely red, and yet they went right through. She turned to the woman driving and said, “Mildred! Did you know we just ran through three red lights in a row! You could have killed us!”

Mildred turned to her and said, “Oh, am I driving?”

August 10, 2021

Crap, I published yet another post without a title, but I fixed it now (sorta)

Lightning is flashing and thunder is rumbling to the south and east as I hunt and peck on the little iPad keyboard. According to the weather app, a thunderstorm cell is just a few miles away towards Indy, but it looks like it will miss me. Mostly.

I’m up early. Stuff on my mind. Plus I must have flexed my toes on my right foot in my sleep because a jolt of mild pain in my foot woke me up. Then, because I’m old and a man, I had to pee. By the time I grabbed the crutches and finally got to the bathroom, etc., I just stayed up. 

I’ve not watched a Cubs game since the big sell off. Big deal you mutter. I usually watch around 125-130 of the 162 game regular schedule. Yes, I watch a lot of baseball. I haven’t really even followed the daily box scores much. Ive done that since I was about eight or nine when I started doing it as I read the daily newspaper. I’ll get over it. It’s just going to take a couple of minutes.

I may have some big news to report later. You should probably check back often. Ten or twelve times today seems about right. You do that and I’ll get 45 or 50 hits today! 

In other news, I remember now why I hated second shift back when I worked it in 1986 or so. You get home too late and you go in too early to get anything done. My current 12:30-900 schedule really chops up the day. I feel like I haven’t had a decent meal in weeks. But paycheck.

The Republicans Charlie Browns are about to get Lucy’d with the “infrastructure “ football yet again. For supposed “career” politicians they are sure bad at politics. Oh, and don’t worry Senator Todd Young, we will not forget your role in bringing this boondoggle to the floor, even if you vote against it now. Too late. You should have studied what happened to Evan Bayh and Dick Luger when they betrayed their conservative Hoosier voters, you Rino turd.

Have a great Tuesday, amigos.

August 8, 2021

I am you and what I see is me

Sorry. I’m working on what is turning out to be a more difficult and lengthy post than I’d originally thought. Oh, it is nothing of earth shattering weightiness, just a discussion of music, but actual research needs to be done. To provide the background info may mean the post could turn into a series of posts and I’m not convinced either of us cares that much. 

August 7, 2021

Behind the curtain

I threw a very small ham steak in the skillet while I chopped a jalapeƱo from my garden into tiny bits. I stirred three eggs with the peppers and added some small bacon pieces from a jar. The real kind, not the artificial bacon bits. I flipped the ham and dropped it on my plate. I threw a little butter in the hot ham skillet and when it was melted and foamy I poured in the eggs. After a quick scramble I plated the eggs with the ham, sprinkled a little shredded co-jack cheese on top of the eggs and hobbled over to the table. The coffee was hot, the glass of milk was cold and breakfast was fit for a king. 

My kitchen is not large. The sink is on one wall with the stove, pantry, and refrigerator opposite. The right wall is cabinets and counter. The left is open to the family room and small eating area. The dining room we don’t use is behind the right wall. Luckily, there’s an island in the middle. Things are spaced just right where I can use the counters and island as sort of permanent crutches, where I swing around from sink to stove to island prep without too much trouble. Still, I’m hopping and swinging around on one leg. I can just reach the breakfast table from the island. 

I cleaned the mess. I balanced precariously on one leg as I loaded the dishwasher. Sated, tired, and done I grabbed my coffee, mounted my knee scooter and rolled over to the couch. 

I picked up my iPad and started typing. “I threw a very small ham steak in the skillet...”. 

August 5, 2021

Wise wisdom

Arguing with a woman is like buying a lottery ticket. You know you're not gonna win, but you're sure as hell gonna try.

August 4, 2021

Shut up Karen

Get vaccinated. Don’t. Your choice.

Don't expect me to mask up to protect you from yourself. 

Don’t expect me to believe the Biden* Administration really cares about protecting the American people when they let tens of thousands of illegals cross the border with no concern at all if they are a Covid infected or not. 

It’s all a Hypocrisy Theater for the gullible Karens who need something to fill their boring lives. 

August 3, 2021

Random Randy

 Randy was in the hospital for a complete check-up.

At 11:00AM, they brought him soup for lunch. He refused it.
At 2:00PM, they again tried to serve him some soup, which he refused.
Again, at 5:00PM and 7:00PM, they tried, and both times Randy turned down the soup, so they gave up.
In preparation for the next day’s test, they entered his room at 3:00AM, 4:30AM, and 6:00AM and gave him an enema each time.
When Randy got home from the hospital after the tests, he told his wife, “Whatever you do, if you go to that hospital and they try to serve you soup, take it!
If you refuse it, they sneak in while you’re asleep and shove it up your ass!

August 2, 2021

upteenth update

I had my surgical follow up this morning. Everything seems to be healing nicely. The stitches were removed. I can now put up to fifty pounds of weight on my foot, as long as I have the boot on. So what, you say? That  helps me balance in the bathroom and as I get up to my crutches at the top of the stairs, etc. It will be a great help every time I transition from sitting to standing. In a pinch, I might be able to drive! 

In other news, I have nuthin’. Kim duToit has a very nice post this morning that pretty much sums up why my political rants are more infrequent these days. I am not sure if you want more politics from me or not. 

Have a great Monday. I have insurance bureaucrats to yell at. 

August 1, 2021

A bloke named Smokey

My brain skews a certain way, and usually it is the interpretation of a 13 year old. It is just the way it is. For instance I noticed a vanity plate on a vehicle in front of me the other day. I see stuff ‘cause I ain’t driving. How would you interpret this plate?

HDR PLS

Don’t let my potential juvenile translation color your answer. Let me note it was on a light blue minivan. What do you see?

We went and bought me some new work pants yesterday. It has been a long time since  I had to dress in business casual every day and three pairs of good pants weren’t cutting it. The wife had some good coupons for Kohl’s and the pants were on sale. 

I haven’t posted any music for a while. This was bouncing around in my head this morning. I know I said I would feature tunes from ‘71, but it is my blog until it’s not, so...


How about this version featuring the sexy Ms Boop?



Have a great Sunday


July 31, 2021

if you want to get down, down on the ground

Saturday morning;  ablutions done, prayers offered, coffee brewed, I’m ready for the day. As I plopped on the couch I realized I left my phone on the charger next to the bed. I am not up to riding the knee scooter to the stairs, backing up said stairs on my butt, hiking myself up from the floor on crutches, hobbling to the bedroom, creeping along in the dark as quiet as clunking metal crutches allow, to grab my phone. Then I would repeat this in reverse, all that effort expended just so I can get a dozen spam calls before noon. Maybe after my coffee. 

The Cubs completed their dismantling of the team yesterday. For once I’m not sure I can stomach the losses to come over the balance of the year. 

It looks like more lock downs and mask mandates are on the horizon. I reluctantly went along before. I figured it was pointless, but couldn’t hurt. This time I will not be so cooperative. 

It seems Big Box home improvement failed to code my claim correctly in June. They approved my leave, but didn’t put me in for short term disability. I don’t understand, since the first words out of my mouth when I finally got through the multitudes of phone trees was “I want to file for short term disability “. Now they text me I have to get more forms filled out from my doctor.* So Monday, my insurance company and I will have an ugly conversation. They can see I have a broken foot that had to be repaired surgically from the useless FLA leave they approved. In the meantime I haven’t been paid for a month. To say I’m pissed would be an understatement. I won’t win over the bureaucracy, but I will make a pain of myself in the interim. So far, I can’t even get a supervisor to call me back. 

I know I’ve started a new job, but they owe me three weeks of pay. 

I know you feel bad for me. If you loved me you would fry up some bacon and over easy eggs. That would mollify my angst. 

That’s what I thought. 

Oh well, have a great Saturday. I plan on it.


*see previous post on this bureaucratic nightmare.

July 29, 2021

I’m beyond sad


The Rickets family has learned what old man Wrigley and The Tribune figured out — they don’t need to put a quality team on the field to make money with the Chicago Cubs. It started when the team traded a top pitcher for teenagers this spring and continues with the fire sale this week. 

At least the Wrigley family never got rid of Ernie Banks. The Rickets have no such compassion for the fans as they dumped the modern Mr. Cub, Anthony Rizzo, for another pair of distant prospects. To rub salt in the wound, Chicago will pay his salary to the Yankees. WTF? 

Kris Bryant will likely be gone by tomorrow afternoon and the fans can look forward to a dismal balance of the season and  more of the lousy teams going forward we suffered prior to 2014. 

The problem is we are no longer proud of being lovable losers. Fans have gotten a taste of winning and have no interest in going back to supporting money grubbing billionaire owners who only care about the next buck. 


July 28, 2021

Chicken Dinner

As of 8:39 this morning I am a licensed insurance producer in Indiana. Well, to be accurate, I passed the State exam. Licensing will come soon, a mere formality. I’m happy, I guess. I proved that I can still study and learn after more than three and a half decades since ending my formal education. I will brag and crow that I consistently had the highest scores in my in class practice exams. Take that, you Millennial slackers. See what happens when education focuses on learning not self-esteem? You learn how to study and retain material.*

My happiness is tempered because I always swore I would never sell cars nor insurance. So it goes. Eating and a roof over my head trump pride. Next I get to start three weeks of sales training. I’ve been selling stuff since 1993. I will endeavor to forget what I know and toe the company line. We can always learn how to be better. See above.

On the bright side I get the remainder of the day off with pay.

Winner, winner.



* the three oldest people in the pre-licensing class consistently had the highest scores on every practice quiz and test. I find that interesting. None of us had an insurance background.

July 25, 2021

Friday I got travelin’ on my mind

Pundits all seem to think the Democratic hold on the Senate and possibly the House will come to an end in next year’s midterms. I’m not so sanguine. Money is a powerful incentive and the monthly kash  for kids handouts are going to buy a lot of votes. Lots and lots of votes. 

Consider, you are a middle class or lower family and your budget was just infused with $300, $600, $900 in cash. That’s a couple of car payments, or a good chunk of rent or your mortgage.. Now you can replace that clothes dryer that squeaks and squeals like a pig caught in an electric fence. You can take those kids to Disney. You can get that Apple Watch you have lusted over. 

So you find yourself sitting on your new couch bought by this kash for kids largess next fall when you see a political ad telling you that candidate D is going to make sure that money train keeps chugging and might even increase it. More importantly, the ad tells you that candidate R wants to take that Kash for Kids away.

Sam Sixpack doesn’t care about the weakening dollar or the National Debt or inflationary actions of the governments policies. He knows prices are going up and he needs that money. There is no cause and effect in play. It’s about money, stupid. And guess how he is going to vote? 

He might even think about having another kid. 

July 24, 2021

First you love me

Saturday is finally here, and I am happy for more than one reason. We are off today to hang with friends at their pool. I won’t be able to enjoy the cool waters, but I will luxuriate vicariously while sipping cold beers and smoking large stogies lovingly rolled between the thighs of nubile Carribean Queens. Shutup, I have my fantasy. Who wants to imagine they are poking a stick of tobacco leaves in their mouth rolled between the stained gnarled fingers of an old toothless crone?

My first week is in at big call center. Training galore. I can’t say I like it much. That’s why I get paid to do it. There are not too many jobs offering big salaries to sit around reading, watching movies, and tossing down popcorn, diet Dr Pepper and red licorice. It’s more money than Big Box Retail, and slightly less odious hours, so I’m better off.  There are still a few opportunities for outside sales on the burner. I can only hope. At this point since I can neither walk nor drive, a fast resolution is not in my best interest. 

We need to get a resident handyman. The yard needs mowed. Additional chicken wire needs strung to keep the rabbits out of the garden. The little bastards have eaten every tomato on the lower branches. A shelf collapsed in the wife’s closet yesterday. The builder used those cheap wire shelves and didn’t bother putting the support arms into studs. Of course it is the one up high. I’m not sure I can reach it to fix it without standing on a ladder. If so, that’s a task I’m not ready to attempt one-legged. I might manage if I can reach it standing on the floor.

I haven’t been up to survey the damage yet. Of course if she didn’t overload the shelving....I might as well argue with the tomato stealing rabbits.

I don’t want any of this to sound like complaining because I’m not. Stuff happens and you deal with it. Life is good. We all have problems. I just get to whine about mine here. See, life is good. 

Have a great Saturday.

July 21, 2021

Not so Tiny Tim-ing it

Good morning blog world. If you tuned in for riveting updates you are about to be disappointed. Things remain the same around here. I’m in low pain. Very tired by the end of the day. I’m learning to get around and to expend less energy doing so. 

The new gig is as boring as starting a new job usually is. Things should get more interesting starting today. 

There you are updated. 

I know you were worried. Hah!

July 19, 2021

I’ve got Tuesday on my mind

 I am up. I did my one-legged shower thing. Crawled back down the stairs. Sitting here already exhausted. I’m wearing Dockers and a polo. I’m off to work. Not at the big box, but at a slightly better crappy job, handling inbound calls at a big insurance giant. No not that one, the other one. I won’t be calling you, rest assured, inbound calls only..

It is not my old job for sure. It is still hourly, but at much higher rates than the other guys. It is a desk job, no more heavy lifting. I’m a little concerned about going in right after surgery but that was how it had to be. 

I have a knee scooter, which should help me navigate better than crutches. 

Unfortunately the whole get upstairs, shave, shower, get dressed thing leaves me so exhausted (not even 1 once of weight can go on my right foot - try it for about five minutes) that I’m ready to puke marathon runner style before my day even starts. 

So it goes. God has blessed me with a physically easier job at higher pay and I am thankful.

Have a great Monday.

July 17, 2021

wrapped like a Christmas package

 

I am home alive and well. The doc says the surgery was a success. Initially yesterday morning he told us after more study of my anatomy it may not be possible to screw the break back together. He might have to use a plate. He would know better when he got in there. He told my wife post op he was able to get the screw in and very tight after all, which was the far better option. 

So far my pain level has been low. No worse than before anyway — which was low. Perhaps there is something good to come out of diabetic neuropathy! Seriously, it has been manageable. I took my first narcotic at around midnight when I went to bed.

My mental anguish is different. I can put no weight whatsoever on the foot. And I have to keep it elevated as much as possible. I’m Long John Silvering it, navigating on crutches. Do you have any idea how hard it is to pee standing on one leg? Even getting up and down to girl pee is difficult. I don’t trust the towel holder to support my weight. I’m kind of pushing up on one crutch until I can reach the edge of the sink in the half bath. I suppose over the next couple of weeks I will learn to power drive my weight up and down using my left leg only.

Worse is having to be waited on by my wife. She rolled her eyes when I complained about having to just lie there on my back. She told me I wasn’t getting bed sores, no matter how much I insisted. I had been home an hour and a half at that point. She is a saint. I think her hearing is getting bad though. She asked me if I wanted anything and she apparently thought I said cookies instead of nookie. I am pretty content with the batch of oatmeal scotches she made. 

I am bummed that I can’t look at the wound. I have to leave it wrapped up until my follow up visit in two weeks. 

So far the biggest issue is that I absolutely cannot go to sleep on my back. I struggled the whole night. I remember it took weeks to be able to even moderately sleep on my back after my eye surgeries. Eventually exhaustion will win out. 

Again this whole minor episode gives me a chance to complain, a skill at which I am a master.

Have a great Saturday. I will be on the couch cruising through Mad Men and anything else I can find to combat my increasing boredom.

July 15, 2021

Bureaucracy Rules All

I got an email from my short term disability insurance provider this morning. The doctor still hasn’t submitted the forms for my claim. A call to the doctors office got me voice mail. I eventually got a real person who told me it takes a week to ten days to fill out the paperwork. I was very polite and nice, believe it or not. I asked how it can take so long to answer 8 questions on three pages? One was my name. One was the doctor’s name. One asked if I was pregnant. That leaves five questions.Seriously, how long can it take to cut and paste from my medical record? 

I pointed out that I am not getting paid from work and that bills and groceries etc. are depending on a timely effort on the part of her office. I got a yeah but...ten days. I told her I had a firm deadline for submission by early next week and I better not get denied because of the doctors office bureaucracy. 

I might as well have discussed it with the neighbor’s dog. 

I’m getting cut and screwed tomorrow morning. You will certainly not get a post tomorrow. Maybe Saturday. We shall see. I’ll likely be bored out of my mind sitting and resting. I might add I’m not sure how much longer I can refrain from dropping a political rant. Social programs are not “ infrastructure “. If you think so you are a moron.

I’m still not sure how I’m going to navigate the stairs. I suppose I’ll stay downstairs until I absolutely have to go up and stay up until I absolutely need to go back down. I hate the idea of my wife waiting on me, bringing food and drink, etc. I remember the days after my eye surgeries when I needed help to navigate even to the bathroom and it as awful. I am not a good patient. 

My daughter brought over a meal for us to have this weekend. She says she will bring over more tonight. That’s very kind. I have the best daughter ever. I told that wasn’t necessary. She whispered “you know Mom can’t cook”. 

Anyway, have a good weekend. I’ve made other plans.

July 14, 2021

partee!

Rain finally moved out by early evening and the weather app claimed the rest of the night would be moisture free. I threw the lawn chairs in the back of the Escape and the wife drove us uptown. We found a parking spot not too far away and I clumped along behind her as she found just the right place in front of the amphitheater stage. We were going to a rock and roll concert. 

The crowd was definitely on the older side. We fit right in the demographic. There were probably only a handful under forty. No wonder. The artist was pushing seventy. If you lived in central Indiana in the early and mid nineteen eighties, you likely saw Henry Lee Summer play at a concert, bar, or party. He played at Farm AID. He played as opener for some big acts. He was on MTV and Arsenio. Henry Lee had a couple of modest hits. As he quipped last night he was glad another one of his songs hit the top ten so he could always be remembered as more than a one hit wonder. He was a two hit wonder. 

I have long maintained that Henry Lee a Summer is perhaps the greatest entertainer I have seen live, possibly excepting Springsteen. Humor, energy, and musicianship are hallmarks of his shows and last night was no exception. I didn’t want it to end. 


This is the vintage Henry Lee

July 13, 2021

missing my old life

 Old stuff.

July 21, 2015

What I see

The sky is pale blue and splattered with dirty white clouds. The twin ribbons of the highway stretch westward into the distance, the long straight sections broken by occasional gentle curves. Dotless dashes mark the center line in an endless Morse O O O O. Beside the road, files and columns of straight tall green corn stocks tipped in gold stand sentinel beside fields of low,lush, humble soy beans.  The speakers blare music and talk and sports and music and baseball and music again.  A half finished bottle of water sits warm in the door. Occasional clumps of cattle stare at the horizon, chewing earnestly. Overpasses and underpasses recede in my rear view mirror as the odometer and dash clock mark the miles and minutes.  The tires hum. The soft leather of the seat becomes hard torture on my rump. I realize, had I headed south, I could be at the beach, instead of gazing at windswept uncompromising prairie. Exit and entrance ramps offer sincere untaken opportunities to explore, to change the destination, to extend an already interminable trip. I drive on, into the evening.

July 11, 2021

It is the chance you take

We have a dilemma. I could spend hours composing a post filled with facts, with opinion, with great entertainment value. 

I could continue to binge watch Madmen.


You lose.

Or I win. 

It’s all a matter of perspective.

July 10, 2021

I’ve got to get out of this place

The wife had a serious case of cabin fever all week so we motored down to the outlet mall yesterday. She shopped while I mostly sat in the car and listened to the baseball game. We were both content. She would have been happier with a fat bank account and unlimited credit cards. She made due with the limited funds available. She got me a good deal on a leftover winter pullover fleece at the Columbia store. Always thinking of me, my wife. It was a good day. She got out of the house. The Cubs got a win. All is good. 

According to the weather watchers we are slated for intermittent rain for the next week. I limped out to the little garden this morning in the post dawn pre-rain period to see if my new fence was stonewalling the rodents. I have multiple jalapeƱos growing, tomatoes are slowly turning a lighter shade of green. The cucumber is going wild and covered in blooms. It will soon swallow up everything. The granddaughter wanted a cucumber over my objections and we all know she gets what she wants. 

No lengthy music discussion here today. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe not. 

The wife told me last night we are babysitting the girls this evening while my daughter and SIL go to dinner to celebrate their anniversary. I’m good with that. Seems like a great way to spend a Saturday.

July 9, 2021

Christmas in July

 

Here we are, not even a week out from Independence Day and the Dollar Store is stocking up on Christmas goods. 

Go ahead, click and embiggen. That was taken yesterday as I clumped around in the store after getting a much needed haircut. 

I didn’t get my hair trimmed at the Dollar Store. That sentence was not clear. I got my haircut next door then clumped over to the Dollar Store. 

Yes, I see you waving your arm in the front row. It would’ve been easier to just fix the offending sentence. But writing a whole new paragraph two whole new paragraphs in explanation provides needed content padding. Plus it gives me a chance to ramble on. I’m good at that. Do you think stuff happens by accident around here?

OK, often it does. I have admitted before most of my content is stream of consciousness writing. A good editor would fix the bad writing. A good writer wouldn’t craft crappy unclear sentences. Unfortunately, we don’t have the budget to hire either editors nor writers. Instead, unpaid interns have been providing most of the content material since 1997. 

And you thought it was just some dude with multiple personality disorder. Who is laughing now? That lightweight Eve only had three faces. I can summon at least four personalities in one post. 

Anyway, can you believe Christmas stuff is already hitting the shelves? 

July 8, 2021

Oatmeal Pie for Breakfast. I love You Little Debbie.

It has rained intermittently since last night. The grass and flowers need it. Right now it is just cloudy. 

Critters ate my one nearly-ripe tomato yesterday afternoon. The wife helped me put up a new higher chicken wire fence. I’m not sure how I’ll get over it to get my hopefully rodent-proof produce. I am sure I’ll adapt and overcome. 

I planned on inserting a lengthy diatribe on politics and global warming here. I’m just not up to it. A good book or silly movie sounds more interesting and a lot less work. Imagine what I’d write and go from there. 

If you didn’t care to read that stuff, you are welcome. If that’s why you come here - for my punditry - then sorry about that and more importantly, why? 

Can you believe my doctor wants $20 to fill out my short term disability paperwork? I get they need to make money. The doctor also collected $250 from the insurance company for my last ten minute appointment. He isn’t cracking open cans of generic Spam from the Dollar Store for supper. 

Things are boring around here. I’m off work. The girls are at home with their on-vacation mom. It is just me and the wife staring at each other. I can’t really go too many places. We don’t have the money if I could. So it goes.


July 7, 2021

Thank you.

 Five years ago, courageous individuals and their families made the decision to be organ donors. Because of those selfless acts I can see today.

I can never express my gratitude. But I can ask that we pay that gift forward. Please sign up to be an organ donor.

July 6, 2021

I hates that wabbit

 I’m starting to understand Elmer Fudd a bit better.


That is my first jalapeƱo from my garden. Notice the chewed off end. Yeah, the damn rabbits ate it. Along with all of the blooms that get me more wonderful jalapeƱo peppers. He also took a bite out of the one tomato that was turning red. 

There is a short fence around the garden. I sprayed the fence, plants, and dirt with ant-rodent spray. I can’t use the .410 in the city limits (besides, I lost in canoeing). I may have to borrow my friend’s high powered pellet gun. 

I didn’t mind Bugs Bunny eating the dandelions. Now he has developed a taste for the wife’s flowers and my garden. We have a problem. 

July 5, 2021

Sky rockets in sight

How is it possible to wake up sore when I did nothing yesterday? Worse yet,  I have the awful Mr. Roboto swirling in my head. What is up with that? 

We went to a pool party slash pitch-in cookout yesterday to celebrate Independence Day. I spent the day soaking in the sun and cooling in the water while sipping beer and smoking fine cigars. It was a good day. When we got home I sat on the front porch with my bride and watched the neighborhood sky light up with colorful flashes and the bangs and booms of fireworks. We could just glimpse the highest of the fireworks from Connor Prairie through the trees. The adjacent neighborhoods were sending up a constant stream of fireworks, so our view was great, the echoing explosions better. 

Not being a fearful Blue State, Hoosierdom trusts our rednecks to blow up stuff, and expects them to take responsibility when they fail at it, as hundreds do every year. If you are dumb enough to hold a lit firework mortar in your hand you are gonna lose some fingers. We don’t need some nanny government to protect us from ourselves. Our neighbors take full advantage of the lax fireworks laws. I am happy about it.

Today looks to be yet another gorgeous day here in God’s country. We have been invited back to the pool again today. It is great to have friends who have nice things. 

Be safe and have a great day, mon amis.

July 4, 2021

we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.

 


In Congress...


IN CONGRESS, July 4, 1776.
The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America,
When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.
--That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed,
--That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.
--Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.
He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.

He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.

He has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.

He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.

He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.

He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected; whereby the Legislative powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.

He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.

He has obstructed the Administration of Justice, by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary powers.

He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone, for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.

He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harrass our people, and eat out their substance.

He has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies without the Consent of our legislatures.

He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil power.

He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:

For Quartering large bodies of armed troops among us:

For protecting them, by a mock Trial, from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:

For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world:

For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:

For depriving us in many cases, of the benefits of Trial by Jury:

For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences

For abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an Arbitrary government, and enlarging its Boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule into these Colonies:

For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws, and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:

For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.

He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us.

He has plundered our seas, ravaged our Coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.

He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty & perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation.

He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.

He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages, whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.
In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.
Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our Brittish brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which, would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.
We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States; that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.

July 3, 2021

Wild horses couldn’t drag me away

I get sliced and screwed on the16th. The surgeon will insert a screw to pull the pieces of my broken foot together.  Summer is my time for hospitals. My first eye surgery was in July of 2016. I put the process of short term disability from work into motion yesterday. We shall see how it goes. In the meantime the doc wants me off my foot as much as possible to reduce the swelling before I go under the knife. No more walking 7-10 miles a day on hard concrete, boot or not. 


As we discussed last week, 1971 marked one of the all-time epic years in music making. The Rolling Stones released Sticky Fingers, undoubtedly one of the greatest album covers of all time. With a real working zipper, the artwork was conceived by Andy Warhol. The zipper damaged the vinyl album and was replaced by a picture on later releases. The album was also the first to feature the now-famous lips and tongue logo that epitomizes The Rolling Stones to this day.

Released in April of 1971, the album was the first on the band’s own label. Mick Taylor appeared as guitarist on his first studio album with the band, replacing the deceased Brian Jones. The songs range from the chart topping “Brown Sugar” and country-tinged “Wild Horses” to this tune, one of my favorite songs by The Rolling Stones:


Can you dig it? 

There is your music discussion you will skip right over for today. 

The neighborhood fireworks display is set for tonight. It will be a lot of fun. The whole thing is the effort of one neighbor, who loves fireworks and probably drops a few grand providing entertainment for  the whole cul-de-sac. He is even bringing in the Kona Ice truck again this year. It is great to talk to neighbors and be part of the community while celebrating all of the good things about America. Here in this part of fly-over nation, we choose not to dwell on what is wrong, but rather focus on the good while trying hard to make things better. 

We will be celebrating America, listening to good music, hanging with friends and family. Kind of just like this blog, I would venture. 

Have a good Saturday. 

July 2, 2021

Miss Elaineous Meanders

Perhaps it was the Mexican casserole. It was perhaps the salsa, it was on the spicy hot side of the spectrum. It could have been the fact that I ate a few too many chocolate chip cookies fresh from the oven. Likely it is a whole bundle of worries. Certainly a combination of all of those things. In any case, I have a terrible case of acid reflux way too early this morning. Bad enough to get and keep me up at four ayem. So it goes.

I can only laugh at the news earlier this week where the citizens of California are asked to reduce their energy use in the evenings; specifically NOT to plug in their electric cars. They don’t have enough electricity to power everything. Typical politicians mandating electric vehicles without planning how to power them. I don’t feel bad. You Californians voted for those Democrats. Far be it from me to shout I told you so. But I did and I will. Think my anonymous commenter will show to admit my righteousness? As the Duke says in my favorite western, “not hardly”*. 

I was going to dive into some music here, but I think I’ll nap a bit instead. I have to check into short term disability from work this morning, and spending time with HR and insurance folks will surely try my patience. I need to rest for the battle.

*guess

July 1, 2021

Mr Bubble bubbles you clean

Thunder rumbled and heavy rains fell in the overnight hours. Yep,, the same as the night before. Normally, I sleep well during such precipitation events, not so last night. Once awake, worries crept in and played on repeat as I dozed and woke the balance of the night. Once I was king of compartmentalism. Now I cannot shut off my brain. 

I grilled up a couple of very nice ribeye steaks for anniversary dinner last night. Some baked spuds and asparagus provided adequate sides. We even shared a rare bottle of wine. Then while I cleaned up the mess the wife did laundry. Not too romantic but reeking of true every day domestic bliss and division of labor. 

I once again have Lido Shuffle by Boz Scaggs stuck in my head. This seems to happen about twice a week. I can only guess that song plays in the background rotation at work and thus gets into my brain. I don’t care much for the tune, but my disdain doesn’t reach the heights of loathing I reserve for anything by Steve Miller or Afternoon Delight. 

Have a great day. I made other plans.

June 30, 2021

On this date

Thunder rumbled and heavy rains rolled through in the pre-dawn hours. I’m glad I watered the flowers and garden last night. 

Today marks 37 years since I stood in the Methodist Church and pledged my love to my wife. The intervening decades have shown lots of ups and lots of downs. I couldn’t think of anyone I would rather be with.

So it appears the break in my foot is no better or no worse. It goes 75% across the bone and is about 18mm long by 7 mm wide. My pain level is low. My swelling is high. I walk with a slight limp. The limp may go away as I adjust. I can live with it or have surgery. A screw will be put in the bone to pull it back together. The doctor suggested I try to get by a few days and see how it goes without The Boot.  

I know the answer. I don’t like it. 

June 29, 2021

Sports and politics

 Seems to me if you find your country to be a horrible place, and want no part of it, you should look for another nation to represent in the Olympics. 

June 28, 2021

If the stores are all closed

 Monday. A new work week. Yay. 

I hope you can feel my enthusiasm. 

The work week at the Big Box starts on a Saturday. The schedulers routinely make use of this to get one to work long stretches. For instance if I’m off on Monday and Tuesday, they will give me Thursday and Friday of the following week off, making for eight straight days of work. I’m slated to work 16 of the next 19 days. At no point do I get two days off in a row. I work various shifts, going in as early as 5:30 AM and ending as late as midnight. I can’t understand why my injured foot isn’t getting better…

Sorry. No one wants to read my complaints. Yes, I am taking steps to find something better.

For Father’s Day my daughter signed me up for a service that sends me questions each week. I write my story, and at the end of the year my responses are compiled into a book. That way my family will know all about me for posterity. It is a cool idea. Last week’s question was have I ever won anything, and my post about the DAR medal was what I submitted (then copied it here). I guess I could have just referenced the mass of words spewed on this anonymous blog over the years and save everyone the time. Perhaps, on second thought, that wouldn’t be so wise. I suspect my political views would make all three of my kids weep. Certainly my overuse of profanity in the early years would be a bit embarrassing. I guess I’ll just answer the questions as they arrive each week as required.

Oh well, I have to pack my lunch and head to work. Have a great Monday.

June 27, 2021

Half century old and still great

One could argue the two year period of 1971 and 1972 saw some of the greatest music ever written, at least as far as rock and roll is considered. Some might point to the mid-fifties, or the British Invasion years, but the complexity, variety, and long-term popularity of some of the music of this era dictates otherwise. Oh, for sure there was some awful stuff too. A quick perusal of the top 100 songs from 1971 will give you a sampling of the very worst in 1970’s pop.*  But the albums released fifty years ago remain the foundation of classic rock.**

Why is that? It could be that the newly popular format of FM radio allowed artists to get away from the classic three minute single that dominated the airwaves for the previous fifty years. It could be that technology allowed for not only better sound, but better recording. It could be that the  artists and bands that had been making music for a decade or more at that point had matured past the standard four chord blues into other more interesting stuff. Perhaps it was culture that drove music into a new direction. 

In any case the year of 1971 gave us both the awful “Go away little girl” and the magnificent “Low spark of high heeled boys”. ‘71 grove us some of the all-time great country songs too: from “Man in Black” to “Coalminers daughter”.

I readily confess I was just a boy in the year 1971. Nine year old me was far more interested in hearing selections from Disney soundtracks than “Riders on the Storm”. Yet somehow the music from that year has come to dominate my musical playlists. I have owned a significant number of the albums released that year in vinyl, cd, and digital formats. 

For the next however long I want to do it, I’m going to feature songs from 1971. Like ‘em or not. Listen or not. It is a free will blog here. But in the end I think you will agree that I am right. 1971 was one of the greatest musical years ever. 

We will start with what may be the most famous rock song from the era:


And one of my favorite songs of all time:



*see what I mean?

**see what I mean?

June 26, 2021

Which is it?

Biden says the idea we need the right to bear arms to protect ourselves from the government is outdated because we would need F-15s and nukes to overthrow the government…

Biden says a few hundred “insurrectionists” almost overthrew the government on January 6th…


June 25, 2021

Everyone bring a bag lunch and don’t forget your permission slips

Welcome to a rainy Friday. I have the day off so I think we are going to take the grandgirls on a field trip to the Indianapolis Children’s Museum today. I’m confident we will all have fun. 

I’m happy to have a day off. I have worked my tail off at work this week. I’m tired. I managed to watch the late from the west coast first inning of the baseball game last night then I clumped/shuffled up to bed. Once there I turned the game on my smart speaker. I think I heard one pitch before I was deep in the arms of Morpheus.  I read this morning I missed out on a winning no hitter. So it goes. 

I had my CT scan yesterday morning. The reading doctor sent me the results. Since I didn’t go to medical school and eschewed biology in general, I do not understand most of what he reported outside of the words chronic fracture, bony spurs, arthritis, and tendonosis He reported the fracture as 7 mm wide which must be a typo. That is more than 1/4 inch. That cannot be right. My doctor has me scheduled for a follow up visit on a Tuesday, he will translate I’m certain. 

My belly is rumbling. The Republic is in peril, my coffee is hot, and life continues. Have a Good Friday.

June 23, 2021

Still Broke

 I went back to the good doctor yesterday about my foot. As I suspected, no or very little improvement. The surgeon offered up two choices.  We can keep on clumping along in the boot for another six weeks and see if it heals. If it doesn’t, then we will do a CT scan and determine what to do. Or I can go ahead and get the scan now and see if it is healing at all and then determine if surgery is required or we go with more boot. 

I go for the CT scan Thursday. 

And there you have it.

June 22, 2021

Winner, Winner

It was late spring and school was winding towards summer break when all of the Eighth graders were herded into the cafeteria. We were each given a test on American history. 

After time expired and everyone passed in the test, the teachers told us the exam was sponsored by the DAR — the Daughters of the American Revolution — and that the best score would win a prize on “graduation “ day in a few weeks.

As we filed out of the cafeteria, some kids were speculating. “I bet Greg wins, he is the smartest guy in the class”, said some. Others proposed Martha would win, since she was so good in history.

I said nothing. I knew I was going to win despite all odds. Not only had I a love affair with history since I watched the movie “Johnny Tremain” and read the Newberry winning book back in third grade, but I knew every single answer on the test. I was confident I missed none. 

Not my real medal

Awards day finally came. Perfect Attendance, sports awards, band awards all were announced. A couple of old ladies moved to the podium. They droned about the DAR and citizenship. Finally it was time to announce the winner for Excellence in History. 

My name was called. The little silver medal with the red, white, and blue ribbon was mine. I won. 

I had the little medal for years. I’m not sure what happened to it. But I still won. The first and only time I came in first. 

June 20, 2021

Interesting Topic to Study

 I saw an article today on how to stop procrastinating.

I bookmarked it so that I could read it sometime.

Happy Father’s Day

…to you dads out there. 

I miss you, Pop.

June 19, 2021

Who’ll stop the rain?

 Boo Hoo Whaa. I suspect you are all in a frazzle that I did not purposely entertain you with a musical selection yesterday. I didn’t want to. I’m not going to this weekend at all. You may soak in your disappointment or you can hike up your pants and get on with your day. 

Unsettled weather has invaded the Midwest. Heat and heavy storms rolled through in waves yesterday and overnight. Oppressive humidity filled in the holes between rain. We can expect similar today. Thunder has rumbled the last hour or so, and heavy rain is beating on the roof as I hunt and peck the keyboard. 

We are off to a family reunion later today. It appears the rain will mitigate by mid-morning, giving an opportunity to gather reasonably dry in the reserved shelter at the park. I have to throw together a batch of my famous and requested corn salad and a desert this morning before we load up the coolers and sally forth. This gathering is my wife’s family, my relatives pretty much few and nonexistent these days. Luckily, I like the wife’s kin pretty well, so I don’t mind spending time with them. 

The people across the street are hosting a graduation party for their youngest this evening. If the party is like the other two, it will go until well  into the wee hours. We will stop by when we get back in town. 

The wife and I are real social butterflies today. 

June 18, 2021

Keep your left arm straight

Let me see if I have this correct. 

George Washington, the Father of our Country, doesn’t get a Federal Holiday.

Abraham Lincoln, who freed the slaves and guided the country through the Civil War, doesn’t get a Federal Holiday.

Heck, FDR, who brought us through the Great Depression and WWII, doesn’t get a Federal Holiday.

But Juneteenth, a made up day no one outside of Texas ever heard of until a couple of years ago, gets made into a Federal Holiday? 

Memorial Day is just a “Long Weekend” but now we have  Juneteenth National Independence Day as opposed to the REAL Independence Day of July 4th (which is Independence Day for all Americans). 

Seriously? 

Pander Much, President *?

June 17, 2021

Shakin’ the tree here, boss

 Entertain yourselves again today.


June 16, 2021

Truism 137

If a headache is a good enough reason to get out of intimate relations, it should certainly suffice as an excuse not to post.

Let this entertain you instead



June 15, 2021

Great possibilities

I’m confessing right off the bat. This not a fresh post. I have a 4:20 ayem wake up call scheduled to make the opening shift today. I sniffed under the lid of the plastic Cool Whip container where I had the post stored and it smelled fine to me. Just stir it around, it’ll be OK. 

Monday was a pretty good day. The weather was fine. The two year old was being unbelievably two, but in all she is so cute you can overlook her acting like a woke liberal on occasion. I made some tuna casserole for lunch. Salad with grilled chicken for dinner. Other than that, pure boring everyday stuff of no interest to anyone, even me. 

There you have it, a post for today. I’m certain you are glad you clicked here. 

You will never get those 37 seconds back. 


June 14, 2021

Ramble on

 

Today is Flag Day, one of our lesser holidays. There will be mail. Government workers will show up. Some might even work. 

On June 14, 1777 the current basic design of the American flag, to whit, 13 stripes and a blue field with 13 stars,  was adopted by the Second Continental Congress. 

June 14 also marks the birthday of the US Army, adopted into form on June 14,1775. 

June 14 is a busy day.

I have the day off. Not because of the holiday. Nor to celebrate the Army’s birthday, but because the schedule made it so. I won’t get to coast though. I have a list of stuff to do as long as my arm. 

I don’t really have a physical list. I lied about that. Maybe stretched the truth. It wouldn’t be a couple of feet long if I did have such a list. OK, I don’t even know how long my arm is. Finger tip to finger tip should match your height. How long is one arm? Where do you start measuring - the breast bone, the shoulder? Why do you insist on complicating everything? Now I have more stuff to add to my imaginary arm length list; research arm length, measuring, and methods. 

I proudly hung my flag on the porch first thing this morning. I can cross that off my list of things to do. Despite your best efforts, the list did shrink by the size of my handwriting of the “put out the flag” notation on my imaginary list. I can say if I did actually write such a list I would certainly use a black Flair felt tip pen to write with. The list would be printed. Even I can’t read my cursive handwriting. 

This post is starting to ramble.

Speaking of which, one of my coworkers told one of the temp college kids he looked just like Robert Plant. He did too. The kid said who is that? She told him the singer from Led Zep. He allowed he might have heard of them. 

I went to the break room and cried. Figuratively.

Happy Flag day. Go forth and wave.

June 13, 2021

Outside, looking in

True confession, I chose The Moody Blues as this weeks artist solely so I could play this song:


I’ve posted it before. That’s because I like it, duh. What a fun musical tribute to psychedelia and LSD. 

Did I ever tell you the story of the one and only time I dropped acid? Note to the authorities, future employers, family members, and impressionable youth —  that story may or may not be true, it could all just be made up fiction like most stuff I post here. Anyway, if I did write the tale, maybe o not a true story, it is somewhere on the sixteen years (!) of archives. If I haven’t related the tale, I guess I have some future blog fodder. We all win.

This is a true story related to this song, though. Back in the early eighties The Moody Blues were scheduled to play over in Champaign, IL. My college roommate and I bought tickets. As was the way of things in those halcyon days, we started “prepping” early. Maybe even the night day before the concert. We certainly were cracking beers and smoking perfectly legal in every way substances by noon of the big day. Apparently, we prepared just a little too much. When it was time to leave, some concerned fraternity brothers took our keys. We missed the show. 

Ah youth. 

Enjoy the music and reflect upon the wages of misspent days. I will be a smiling helpful big box drone ready to enhance your shopping experience on this hot and sunny Sunday. 


Waddaya want to hear next week?

June 12, 2021

Dance, Clouds, Historical Jabs, Music

 

There, on the left, some weird and funky sunset clouds snapped from my phone as the wife drove us home. The view is to the northwest of the northeast suburbs. Embiggen if you do desire. Or not. It’s your choice. I run a free will blog.

The shot is ruined by the tension wires. And the need to click before the pickup in the right lane blocked the view. Too bad I didn’t have time to frame what I wanted to save better. So it goes. It is not like I have to pay for film or development or anything. Just truly point and shoot. It erases just as easily and will be sent to the electric landfill shortly, no doubt. 

I can do goofy stuff like take cellphone pictures from the passenger window since the wife has to drive me around. I might not have mentioned my broken hoof is the right one. The air cast makes it difficult impossible to drive unless I remove the boot, put on a shoe and replace the boot when I get where I’m going. 

The oldest granddaughter had a dance recital Thursday night. Of course she was beautiful and cute and perfect. It was the other six year-olds out of step! At times they all were. That’s what made it fun. The event brought back memories. My daughter danced for more than a decade; everything but ballet. I have been to more dance recitals than I care to remember. 

I saw a picture posted from the White House showing Edith Wilson Jill Biden claiming she was preparing for the coming G7 economic summit. I guess I missed the part where she was elected President. 

But you didn’t come here for the mundane scenery nor not-so-subtle digs at Sleepy Joe. You stopped by for the music.


Have a great Saturday.

June 11, 2021

Ha! You thought I would forget

 


Yup. Artist of the weekend.

June 10, 2021

Life lessons

The sun is obscured by clouds today. It was raining in the predawn hours. Not currently. Like the commercial says, no one cares if I got up early. I never, ever use a speaker phone while walking around a store though. If you do, stop. It is obnoxious. Not as annoying as bringing your dog into the store, especially if you put it in a shopping cart. Still...


Yes, that is tomatoes on the vine in my tiny garden. In a few weeks I will have luscious fruit/vegetables with dinner. Providing the varmits don’t take a bite from the hanging ‘maters first. I put spray on and around the garden to discourage the rabbits and chipmunks, but the daily rain washes it away.  The jalapeƱo is blooming so I’ll be using my own peppers in homemade salsa soon too. 

The forecasted rain is supposed to hold off until early afternoon. I may try to limp through a mowing if things can dry out a bit before the next cloudburst. Me and the Doughboy are making cinnamon rolls for the grandgirls first. 

There, you have another dose of the minutiae that is my life. A whole post of words sans meaningful content. 

Seriously, don’t use your phone on speaker in public. That is your public service message for today. It takes no more effort to hold it to your ear than it does to hold it near your mouth. Just stop it. We can all hear your conversation. 

We don’t want to. Trust me.

June 8, 2021

The trees are drawing me near

It is a good day, the rain notwithstanding. Not only do I have the day off, it is my favorite girl’s birthday. Yes, my wife is redacted years old today. 

I noticed President * managed to highlight our racist past by discussing the terrible Tulsa race riots. He failed to commemorate the thousands who died on D-Day to help eradicate one of the worst racists and mass murderers in recent history. Of course WWII provides no opportunity for race baiting nor to perpetuate the notion of permanent victimhood required by the Democrat Party. 

Two more weeks of the boot, three and a half more years of the Biden. I’m not sure which is worse.

Biden, definitely.

June 6, 2021

My Bad

 Geez, I just got off work and realized I neglected to mark today as the anniversary of D-Day. Sheesh. 

Well it is the D-Day anniversary. Take a moment consider the price those soldiers and sailors paid to ensure your freedom. Imagine their surprise to learn that racism and the environment are considered by the current President and his political party to be the greatest threats to the US — ever.  Apparently those racists in Tokyo and Berlin back in 1944 were mere pikers when it comes to hate-filled cops and conservative voters in 2021 ‘Murcia. 

Relenting

 


One of my all time favorite songs

June 4, 2021

Mighty Math Power

I’m going to depart from my usual litany of complaints. The stack of stuff that is making my life a heap of despair and anger is too large to delve into here. You don’t care and it is not your business anyway. Lawyers are pieces of whale turd and car salesmen are the bacteria that feeds on that refuse. I’ll leave it at that. 

Since I’m already in a pissy mood,I’m not posting music either. You are not interested and I can listen to whatever I want when I want. 

President * just stopped more oil leases.  He must have the brain capacity of endive lettuce since the law of supply and demand remains as complicated as spherical geometry for him. Less gas equals higher prices. It is just as simple as that. Get ready for $4 gas by year end. Don’t worry, the magic energy fairies are going to find a way to power the world with batteries that don’t have to be recharged. I hope so, since we don’t have the electric capacity to handle the load as it is. 

I know maybe we can set up a generator connected to a turnstile at the border. All of those illegals flooding into the country would probably power a midsize city or two. 

Good news though. Publishers Clearinghouse says I might already be a winner. 

June 3, 2021

Words have meaning

 A grade school teacher in Kentucky asked her students to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence.

Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad’s farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating.”

The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word “fascinate, not fascinating”.

Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.”

The teacher said, “Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word “fascinate, not fascinated.”

Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word “fascinate”, so she called on him.

Johnny said, “My Aunt Gina has a sweater with ten buttons, but her boobs are so big she can only fasten eight.”

June 1, 2021

I’m sick of The Boot

I woke about three ayem drenched in sweat, bladder full. I don’t know why the sweat. The pee thing is pretty regular. TMI. As I limped into the darkened bathroom, an idea for a brilliant post lept into my mind.  I went back to sleep. The planned essay drifted off to slumberland, never to return. Too bad for you. 

The wife thawed a Mexican casserole for dinner and I made some salsa to accompany it. It was an easy yet good meal. I sliced up some strawberries to have later with some sliced angel food cake for a snack. 

We had a great weekend. The boy was home for a wedding. It was great to see him. 

That’s it, a post filled with the usual nonsense. No weather report though. There can be no doubt I have no recall whatsoever of the genius post of the overnight hours. 

Don’t expect riveting words in the morning. I have the early shift again tomorrow morning.

So it goes. 

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