Thinking again

I keep hearing the impeachment advocates arguing that Republicans need to have open minds. They say they need 17 GOPers to vote guilty. 

No one mentions that every Democrat is assumed to vote guilty. 

I guess open minds only works in one direction 

Dear Bruce

 After four years of your decisiveness, hate, and general assholery, I refuse to listen to you lecture me on reuniting the country. Kiss my ass.

And Jeep you can pucker up too for paying for that piece of crap ad.

Why would any company go out of its way to antagonize fifty percent of its prospective customer base? 

Slouching Towards Banana Republicanism

James Madison wrote the Constitution with remarkably clear, concise, and simple prose. It remains eminently readable some 230 years later. Consider Article I Sections 3.6 and 3.7:

The Senate shall have the sole Power to try all Impeachments. When sitting for that Purpose, they shall be on Oath or Affirmation. When the President of the United States is tried, the Chief Justice shall preside: And no Person shall be convicted without the Concurrence of two thirds of the Members present.

Judgment in Cases of Impeachment shall not extend further than to removal from Office, and disqualification to hold and enjoy any Office of honor, Trust or Profit under the United States: but the Party convicted shall nevertheless be liable and subject to Indictment, Trial, Judgment and Punishment, according to Law.

So to parse just a bit (even a non-lawyer like me can read this plain English) : "shall not extend further than to removal from Office". Since Trump is no longer holding public office, impeachment is not available. To disqualify Trump from future office is included only through the "and". It is not an either/or/whichever we choose option*. The text is clear. You cannot impeach someone is is not in office. Further, the Chief Justice is not presiding, making the entire affair extralegal. 

I will not even get too deep into other issues with the impeachment. For instance the notion that Trump incited the riots when the justice department has charged some of the participants with "conspiracy" -- meaning they had advance plans for a crime, thus Trump could not have incited the riots. Nor the totally un-American notion of justice when the supposed "Judge" gets to vote on the conviction. I don't se a lot of justice there. 

Trust me on this, the Democrats will rue the day they have taken this unprecedented act of political revenge. Biden participated in the unlawful spying on the Trump campaign with Obama. His dealings with Ukraine and China are still suspect. Can we go back and impeach Clinton again? No future politician will be safe. Jackson and Wilson and LBJ used the N-word with abandon. Several owned slaves. Are we going to go full Stalin and erase the history of any predecessor whose politics we do not like? Is the mere expression of one's First Amendment Rights a crime now?

This is a sad farce and politics at the most evil basic level. I spit on all concerned.

* Don't even start with the morally bankrupt Cabinet Officer from the Grant administration. He should have been allowed to resign and charged with the full might of the law for his malfeasance.  First that guy was not the President, besides, precedent is not set in stone.  I'm looking at you Dred Scott and Plessey vs. Fergusson. Do not waste my time on that specious argument.

Thoughts

 Seems there are two types of people: Those who love Tom Brady and decent human beings.

Cowboys

 A lady went into a bar in Waco and saw a cowboy with his feet propped up on a table. He had the biggest feet she’d ever seen. The woman asked the cowboy if it’s true what they say about men with big feet being well endowed. The cowboy grinned and said ‘Shore is, little lady. Why don’t you come on out to the bunkhouse and let me prove it to you?’

The woman wanted to find out for herself, so she spent the night with him. The next morning she handed him a $100 bill . Blushing, he said, ‘Well, thankya, ma’am. Ah’m real flattered. Ain’t nobody ever paid me fer mah services before.’ ‘Don’t be flattered… Take the money and buy yourself some boots that fit.’

 

I have always hated the title of this blog

It is Monday, a new week. A dusting of snow lies on the ground. Cold air leaks in the office window as I type on the ancient laptop keyboard. I stare at the cursor and realize yet again I have nothing to offer here at the old blog. I could talk about last night's dinner (I made lasagna). I could grumble about work. I could toss up a righteous rant about the Astrix and Kaaaamela; reminding you that you are about to get a dose of what you voted for good and hard. I could whine about the Cubs or bore you to tears with photos or music or old jokes. In other words, the same stale content. 

I just don't have it in me any more. I am just short of sixteen years of posting nearly every day. I have written almost 7,000 posts*. To what purpose?  

I first started blogging because I worked in an office by myself. My company was in Italy and I had little contact with the outside world unless I was on the road. I was in a bad place and needed to vent. I spent much of the time writing this blog as a travelling salesman. Life on the road is a solitary existence, despite your preconceptions. Hours in the car, sitting in airports, dining alone, staring at a hotel TV. A few hours with customers. But I saw stuff and experienced stuff that occasionally made for good blog fodder. 

That life is behind me for now. Someday soon I hope to get back to what I love and am good at. I remain optimistic.  Maybe then I will have some new stories.

I seems to me content is a shell of what it once was**. I am bored by it, you have to be. 

I am taking a break. It might be for a day, it might be a month. It might be forever. I just don't know. I will still read your blogs. I will still read your comments. I just will not be writing here for now. It will be no great loss. I suspect the Google Overlords are going to shut it down for insurrectionist content in the coming crackdown anyhow. No, despite my penchant for sarcasm, that was not written tongue in cheek. 

So long for now and I thank you for you patronage. The fact that you read here at all is humbling. I lack the vocabulary to express how much it means to me to know you bothered to stop by, whether it was once or 6,961 times. 

Who knows, perhaps the new administration will tick me off so much I cannot resist the temptation to comment. Maybe I will run across a joke so funny that I will just have to share. Maybe life will toss me a fast ball thigh high I can hit out of the park instead of yet another curve. You will be the first to know. Or not. I think time away is what is needed most.

Thanks for everything, mon amis.

*6,961, but who is counting?

** I make no claim that it was ever good on a regular basis. But I think I did throw up a few good entries overt the years -- you know monkeys, typewriters, etc.

Headline Hits

 I went to a bookstore last night. The sign said they had hard to find books. 

Nothing was alphabetized.

The feature you didn't ask for

Let's go tease up some big hair and put some padded shoulders in our suit jackets. Go heavy on the eye makeup, girls, we are heading back to the eighties for our Friday music today. 

Heck, lets do an eighties twofer:

Do we dare go for three?:

Go forth and have a great Friday.

On a different note, like F sharp

I'm going to be upfront with you, unless I get really ambitious and do two posts today, there will be no post for you tomorrow. 

I know.

I have the late closing shift today. I have the opening shift on the morrow. 

That's what I said too. Not really, the powers in charge called me into the office last week and said pretty please, we need you, so I agreed to work that schedule.  I'm a great guy, eh wot? 

The little one is not coming over this morning. Too bad, since I am home all morning and early afternoon. My daughter may have the dreaded Chinese Covid, so is in quarantine until test results come back. That means the kids are in lock down too. Luckily, we haven't been exposed to our daughter, so protocol says we can mingle with the genpop until if and when the grandgirls test positive. I will advise if you need to double mask, slap on the rubber gloves,  and stay six feet from me if the need arises. Your internet health is important to me. Really.

xxxxx.   Whoa, that was close. I almost made a political observation and commentary. I have been directed by one of my commenters to not delve into politics. You see, having an opinion "doesn't help". Mmmm OK.

The winter remains mild. I don't really mind. I wouldn't care much if we got a heap of snow and frigid temperatures either. That's how I roll.

I think that is about enough nonsense for today. I tell you what, I will close out this waste of letters and punctuation and throw up some music for a Friday post.

No, you will have to come back tomorrow to see what I chose. I have a tune swirling in my brainpan, I may or may not use that one. Decisions, decisions.

Enjoy your Thursday.

Switching gears

Enough politics. 

What else is going on? I am still drastically under-employed. Looking, applying, praying without success. 

The Colts lost a playoff game they could easily have won. That is sports. The Cubs are reverting to historical suck mode. They gave the fans a taste of success. Now it appears the ownership will be content with mediocrity going forward. Like the Wrigley family and Tribune Companies before, the Ricketts have discovered they can make a lot of money off the fan base without spending for decent players. 

We continue to have a relatively mild winter so far. I think north Texas has now had more snow than we have. Crazy. I guess we really do need to ban cars, engines, oil, and plastic to battle globull warming. We all wish it was colder and snowier and more unpleasant in the winter. AmIRight? 

I reflect on my family and I remind myself yet again that I indeed have plenty to be thankful for.

Have a great day.

Not so deep or original thoughts

Funny innit, how all those lefties were all about defunding and ridding the world of the police until rioters* showed up at the Capitol? 

They sure liked having the boys in blue around then. 

*can we stop with the “insurrections” label? No one was trying to overthrow the government. They were trying to make a point and protest. They went about it wrong, but treason wasn’t in it. If that is insurrection, we better start rounding up a bunch of folks from last summer.

The Final Solution

 The couch commandos, the recliner revolutionaries, and armchair admirals are screaming for a civil war. I ask, which of my neighbors I should shoot first? Perhaps I should start with the occupants of the house down the street that had a BLM sign in their yard last summer and a Biden/Harris placard in the fall? I don't know, their kids are kind of cute.

Perhaps you warriors in waiting propose I go after politicians? I ask honestly, which side do you think the police will fall? How successful will I be as a lone gunman? What organization should I join? As far as I can tell the militia movement is populated with ex-reenactors and wanna bees. Like the Klan, I suspect there are three actual members of the Militia movement, plus two FBI agents, and seventeen police informers in the rank and file. Sorry, Red Dawn was a movie.

So where do we go from here? Nobody wants to hear it, but if you want change it has to be on the local level. You can't effect things nationally. Those POS politicians were bought and sold before they ever took office. Consider that a candidate spends tens of millions to get a job that pays about $150K. What more do you need to know?

At the Statehouse is where you make sure another election is not stolen. Elect people who intend to fix the election laws. Vote out the corrupt judges who think there are exceptions to the law. If the law says no mail-in votes then you can't make exceptions because of a virus. The law does not work that way. Vote those judges out. That is not a Federal issue, it is a State issue.

Your State representative cannot hide from you like the swamp dwellers in Washington. Your Senator likely doesn't even have a home in your state anymore. Your State representative probably shops at the grocery or Walmart in your town. Make sure he/she passes laws to get rid of mail-in voting. The polls are open for weeks before an election, there is no reason for anyone outside of medical reasons not to show up, present a picture ID and vote. 

Elect right-thinking county councilmen, county clerks, and judges. Get control of your city council. Vote for like-minded representatives in your State. Vote for a good governor. No more elections will be stolen. The power of the big city voting machine is minimized at the local level. 

If you are really concerned, sign up to be a poll watcher, observe the vote counting. If you believe the election was stolen, then you need to recognize it was done at the local level; at the precinct, at the county, at the state. Fix that, and the rest will fix itself. 

I know, it is far more satisfying to vent and rage and "resist" on the internet. Unfortunately, it is far more effective to make sure the leftists are voted out in two years.  

Should the Leftist hordes decide to take your guns by force or round us up for re-education, or otherwise infringe on our God-given freedoms, then I will be with you in going for the guns. Until then, how about we back down on the rhetoric a little. Frankly, some of you sound suspiciously like the Kooks on the other side four years ago.

Really?

Trump says he will not attend Biden’s inauguration.

Harrison, Garfield, McKinley, Roosevelt, Kennedy, and even Nixon had a good excuse. 

In Trump’s case I can only attribute it to a lack of class. 

Present for duty

I am here. Settle down. I have been putting in copious hours at work in a strange schedule. By the time I get home I am too tired to devote time to the secret blog. So it goes.

You may or may not be shifting from foot to foot, dancing the peepee dance in anticipation of my comments on the current political shenanigans. 

Trump has destroyed in a couple of days all of the good things he accomplished in his one-term tenure as President. He will go down in history as the first US President to resist the outcome of the election. History will define his Presidency as the guy who incited a riot over the results of the Electoral College. 

You may argue the election was tainted. You may be right. The courts do not agree with you on the evidence. The individual States do not agree with you on the evidence. In a federalist system, which I believe wholeheartedly, that is enough. The election was decided when the Electors met last month. 

Were I King of the World ( and we all know I should be), the rioters would have been shot when they breached the Capital Steps. I said the same about the summer riots too. 

Cocaine Mitch cut off his nose to spite his face. He handed the Democrats a perfect storm of votes in the Georgia election when he refused to have a vote on increasing aid to Americans. Now the Stupid Party is back where they obviously feel most comfortable; as the minority Party. It is far easier to complain than to lead. That way they can say "we tried" instead of having to do the hard work of leading. 

I suspect many of my long-time blog friends will have issues with this post. So be it.

A post for today written in the past

I have the very early shift at work today. I will already be at work when you see this post. My schedule is strange this week. I start out opening and by Friday I will be closing, and working the midday shift in the middle of the week. I am thankful for the hours, even though it is a crappy low-paying retail gig. They are working hard to give me full-time hours even though I am a part-time employee. On the bright side, I have two Saturday's off in a row. I'm not sure how that has happened.

I would like to say I am sorry for going off on a rant against the ruling class yesterday. But I am not. I regret the curse words. Not the sentiment. Sometimes the only way to get a point across is to drop an F-bomb. 

It was my intention to post some music yesterday, not go off on the jackanapes that occupy Washington. Here is one of my favorites:

Naked and Ugly

The Christmas stuff is coming down today. The lights have been off since New Year's day. As much as I enjoy the festive look the lights on the staircase, the house and the trees give the old homestead, the season is behind us. 

I received my $600 from the government. I'm thankful. It has helped us catch up on some past due bills. But I take great exception to Cocaine Mitch's assessment that this 600 bucks is "socialism for millionaires". Screw you, Mitch. Here is someone making taking taxpayer money nearly three times the median income of Americans as salary lecturing us plebes on his generosity? If he and the other Republicans think $600 makes much of a difference in the little people's lives, they are more out of touch than I imagined.

No, the Government can't afford the "payments". But what the politicians of both parties don't get is that the pork-laden bill should have returned money to Americans first, not studying transgender rats in outer Mongolia, or funding vaccines for the poor of Elbonia, or even sending cash to museums that no one can go to because we are in lock down. Why do the shitty airlines get another influx of my taxpayer greenbacks while the local restaurants, and small businesses go bankrupt like it is October 1929 all over again? I thought no one was too big to fail anymore? 

That money Congress is so quick to spend is not their money. It is my money. It is your money. It is our great grandkid's money. It is China's money. After decades of profligate spending, we are suddenly going all Mr. Potter on the American People?  

We are told things are two times worse because of the China virus than they were in the spring, yet suddenly we are only willing to help the average American half as much?

I last voted for a Democrat back in the 1990's when my neighbor ran for coroner. I have held my nose and voted for the Republicans, despite the party's innumerable flaws. But in this case, I may make sure I vote against my current Senators when the time comes. I don't care if I do help elect the next AOC or Bernie Sanders. 

Fuck 'em all. Rope and tree. None of them care about the American people. I have known it for a long time. 

Happy New Year

Best Wishes for a great 2021

2020 cannot be gone soon enough.  Good Riddance, I say.  But not before I wish my internet friend best wishes for the happiest of birthdays 🥳 

Thanks for reading and be safe.

If you drink, don’t drive

I plan on stealing a kiss from my girl at midnight for the 42nd year in a row even though I have to be at work at 6:00 AM tomorrow.  So it goes.

Happy New Year.

Winding Down

 Sigh

Internet troubles abound so I’m typing this on my trusty little phone. That is far from optimum. The things I do half-arsed for you

The year is winding down and good riddance  I may or may not have a year end review post for you on the morrow. 

I won’t, but I may wish you a happy New Year

I have the very early shift at work so at some point I’ll post. Maybe

In case I don’t, Happy New Year and my heartfelt thanks for reading this almost-daily drivel

Good Deeds and Heaven

 A cowboy appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.

“Have you ever done anything of particular merit?” St. Peter asked.

“Well, I can think of one thing,” the cowboy offered.

“On a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota, I came upon a gang of bikers who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn’t listen. So, I approached the largest and most tattooed biker and smacked him in the face, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground. I yelled, “Now, back off or I’ll kick the shit out of all of you!”

St. Peter was impressed, “When did this happen?”

“Couple of minutes ago.”

Electronic Service Requested

I hope you all had a wonderful holiday. I did, once again reminding myself it is not about the stuff. We had a great dinner at my daughter's. The Grandgirls had a blast opening and playing with their new toys. My youngest son was there (although his girlfriend was sick at home) and we video chatted with the middle son. It was a great and wonderful day. On Thursday we went up and visited with my dad. I refused to worry or dwell on my problems. It was a great Christmas all around.

It remains cold with temps in the teens and wind chills near zero. A small warm up is expected starting tomorrow. I won't notice. I'll be at work. It has been nice having some days off, but I will be back at it this week. I expect the "returns" cart to be full all day with returned Christmas stuff: used displays and lights, unwanted goods, and equipment purchased by doing-their-best to choose the right gift spouses. 

Yeah, I said used lights and displays. People are horrible and amazingly dishonest. It breaks my heart to see what people are capable of. It would never occur to me to buy something, use it, and take it back to the store. I am so naive. 

Onc group of people who never fail to live up to my low expectations are the politicians that run our government. The corrupt men and women of both parties once again have decided to load a simple bill to help out the American people with tons of pork, including foreign aid. Nothing like borrowing money to give to someone else. Finally, at the end, the Government purse strings were opened enough to return a grudging pittance to the taxpayers. 

I have said often that every elected politician needs to get a required tattoo on the back of their right hand that reads "That is someone else's money" . It would need to be painfully re-done every time they win an election. Oh well, I'm sure once they got into office the corrupt pricks would find a way to avoid it, make money off of it, or dump the responsibility on someone else. 

See, there we go veering into politics and ruining the good vibe I had built up.

Have a great Saturday.

Merry Christmas

 

The Reason for the season

Almost

 One of my favorites:

Little Known Christmas Fact

 When four of Santa’s elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Pre-Christmas pressure.

Then Mrs. Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more.

When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out, Heaven knows where.

Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered.

Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum.

When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drunk all the cider and hidden the liquor.

In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor.

He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom.

Just then the doorbell rang, and an irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.

The angel said very cheerfully, ‘Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn’t this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?’

And thus began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.

Not very many people know this.

heading down the home stretch

A little snow lingers in the shaded parts of the yard; next to the house and along the fence. Otherwise it is just a bit soggy outside. Rain is expected today, but there is a chance for more snow on Thursday as a Christmas cold front moves in. 

Christmas music is softly playing in the background as I hunt and peck on the keyboard. I am desperately trying to get myself into the Holiday spirit with little success. I feel like I am going through the motions. I will resist the temptation to go all feel sorry for myself yet again. No one wants to read that garbage.

I have the 10-7 stretch at work today. If the last few days are an indication, it will be a long slow day. I would rather be busy than spend time on make-work. 

The coffee is hot. I got a good night's sleep. I have a wife who appears to love me. I have plenty to be Thankful for. You do too.

 

I cannot state with more stridency how much I loathe the Bing/Bowie version of The Little Drummer Boy. I won't play it here, rest assured..

Have a great Saturday.

Do you hear what I hear?

The day is off to a cold start this December Friday..I had the closing shift last night and again today.  Then I have the midday shift over the weekend. Whatever. 

I'm a bit sore and achy this morning. My old shoulder injury from pitching baseball has returned in recent months.  I guess that torn rotator cuff did not heal itself, even if it is a decade later. I should confess the shoulder injury was from pitching hundreds of balls every day to the boy when he was playing lots of baseball or maybe I have injured it again. Who knows? It doesn't matter. Ibuprofen will get me by. 

We still have several Christmas presents to get. I have purchased nothing at all for the wife. The granddaughters are done and that is what is most important. It will, by necessity, be a sparse Christmas this year. I am OK with that. It stresses the wife beyond measure. I keep telling her the kids and family don't mind, they know the score. But growing up exceedingly poor has marked her in many ways. She enjoys giving during the holidays, I guess because she never "got". She doesn't want stuff for herself, but she gets immense joy from watching others get gifts. 

I have so many favorite Christmas tunes it is a tough choice to find one to post here. I'm running out of days. I know you are waiting impatiently to see what music I will choose. I just know you are.

I notice I gravitate to the old singers from the sixties when I choose my Christmas music. I guess because my parents had a ton of the compilation Christmas albums from Firestone, or whatever. They were on constant rotation on the old giant stereo turntable in the living room all through the holidays. These tunes are the soundtrack of my Christmas memories. 

Have a great Friday.

Miscelaneous Musings

Last Thursday the wife used the USPS to mail a box to the Boy in Denver. She paid extra to get the Priority two day delivery. She checked the tracking Monday and the package had not been delivered. She dug deeper on Tuesday and discovered the package was still in Indianapolis. The day after it was promised, it still had not shipped. Yesterday the box had made its way to Chicago. In the 1850s the Pony Express delivered mail from Missouri to California in 10 days. Via horse.  When I called to complain I was told the Priority Mail no longer is guaranteed, the two day delivery we paid for was an estimate. If we wanted guaranteed we should have purchased Priority Mail Express. Whatever. This is not just bad service. It is unacceptable service. I filled out the customer satisfaction survey from my receipt. Since the USPS asked for no identification, no email, no address, no phone number, not even my name, it is clear they have no interest in my opinion nor offering a follow up. That's why we will use FedEx or UPS next time. We should have known, it took 17 days for his birthday card to travel from Indy to Denver.

I have been reading an excellent history of the Battle for Hue during the Tet offensive in Vietnam. It is authored by Mark Bowden (Black Hawk Down). It is riveting and reads like a novel. I'm about 50% in and the book seems a pretty fair and even handed presentation. Westmoreland doesn't come off so well, but the criticism is pretty much deserved. If I remember, I'll let you know what I think when I get the history finished.

I have a low tire pressure light on the car. I need to head out and see which tire is the culprit. I have a little compressor tha tworks via the car's cigarette lighter port. No, there is no cigarette lighter, just that port. 

Those of you living in a fantasy that somehow the Congress will throw out the Electoral College vote and keep the Trumpster in office need to get over it. Biden* is the President. Yes, he will always have an asterix as far as I'm concerned, but Congress is no more going to overthrow the "results" than any court, including the SCOTUS would. It is not going to happen. EOS.

Calling HR

 Every day, a male employee walks up very close to a female co-worker at the coffee machine.

He stops, inhales quite deeply and says that her hair smells nice.

After a week of this, the woman can’t stand it anymore.

She takes her issue to a supervisor in Human Resources and asks to file a sexual harassment grievance against the guy.

The supervisor is puzzled and asks, “What’s threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?”

“It’s Roger. The midget.”

Snow, I want to wash my hands, my face and hair with snow

 

We got an inch or two of snow over night. It is the first measurable snow this season and I'm giddy as a school girl. Not really. But it doesn't bother me. I like winter. I cleaned off the drive and sidewalks before the grandgirl arrived.  I'll probably have to do it again later.

Today is the oldest granddaughter's 6th birthday. We are going to her house for dinner and present opening this evening. It will be fun. She lost both front teeth in the past week or so. I sent her a video of the song All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth.  She thought it was hilarious.

She outsmarted me the other day (I know, it is not hard). We have had a long running "joke". She loves unicorns, like every little girl. I always insist a unicorn is really a raccoon and a raccoon is a unicorn. I don't know why, it is just my thing to tease her about. She gets indignant and we both enjoy the long-running joke.

Over the weekend I programmed the Alexa to respond with a description of a raccoon when it is asked "What does a unicorn look like?". When the granddaughter came over after school Monday I worked unicorns into the conversation. When she started to tell me I was wrong I asked the Alexa the programmed question. The granddaughter stared at the device for a moment, her face a puzzle. She looked at me, frowned. Then she asked Alexa what a raccoon looked like. Of course it answered correctly. "Ha!", she said "You made it say that, Paw". Caught red-handed, all I could do was laugh.

Maybe you had to be there. 

Church Lady

 A pastor explained to his congregation that the church was in need of some extra money, so he asked them to consider being more than generous. He offered that whoever gave the most would be able to pick three hymns.

After the offering plates were passed about the church, the pastor glanced down and noticed that someone had graciously offered a roll of $100 bills. He was so excited that he immediately shared his joy with his congregation and said he’d like to personally thank the person who placed the money in the plate.

A very quiet, elderly, saintly lady in the back of the church shyly raised her hand. The pastor asked her to come to the front, so she slowly she made her way towards him.

The pastor told her how wonderful it was that she gave so much, and in thanks he asked her to pick out three hymns.

Her eyes brightened as she looked over the congregation. She pointed to the three most handsome men in the church and said, “I’ll take him and him and him.”

Pragmatic Prophesies

 Sorry 'bout that. It seems my ancient and decrepit iPad no longer works with blogger.  I had to fire up the almost as ancient and decrepit laptop to post anything. 

Anything.

I wasn't in the mood to move off the couch and trudge upstairs to blog from the laptop yesterday, so you got bupkiss. 

A decidedly cold wind is blowing outside on this mid-December afternoon. I think I will throw together a pot of chili for supper. Yep, It will have macaroni in it. Yes, it will be soupy. This is the Midwest, not Texas. No, it won't have cinnamon. That is for those losers in Cincinnati.

I had the opening shift at work this morning. I sure did not want to crawl out of be d when the alarm went of at 4:20 this morning. No, that is not a typo. The new schedule has me opening the entire week after Christmas, including New Years Eve and New Years Day.  Hooray for me.  Dont worry, I have plenty of time to whine about that in the coming days.

I hope you are having a good Monday.

Apple Muffins for Breakfast

The sunrise paints the sky in pinks and pale blues through the bare branches of the trees. It is cold. Not atypical for mid-December. It should warm up nicely this afternoon. 

Here we are on a Friday. Don’t worry, I’ll post some Christmas music. I know that’s why you stopped by. Ha! 

I thought it might be nice to offer a little content too. That is proving difficult.

For the most part I sit down and just start typing my posts. Most of the time what you get is stream of consciousness. “I know”, you say. It normally takes around ten minutes, tops, to compose an entry. “I can tell”, you say. Quit interrupting. Today, I’ve been at it twenty minutes and this is what we have. I know. 

I guess I could opine on politics. My heart isn’t in it. I’m sick of hearing about the Virus 24-7. You don’t want to hear me complain about my Not So Wonderful Life. It won’t do any good anyway. 

I guess the point is I have nothing to offer. Not that I ever did, but in the face of my current life it is just to hard to show up at the old blog. It just may be time to put it out of its misery. 

We shall see.

In the meantime, listen to the marvelous Judy Garland from the great Meet Me in St. Louis. 

“Next year all of our troubles will be out of sight”. Indeed and Amen.

Have a great Friday.

For the ladies

Why do men become smarter during lovemaking?

Because they are plugged into a genius.

Why don’t women blink during lovemaking?
They don’t have enough time.

Why does it take a million sperm to fertize one egg?
Because they don’t stop to ask directions.

Why did God give men larger brains than dogs?
So they don’t hump women’s legs at cocktail parties.

Why did God make men before women?
You always need a rough draft before you make the final copy.

I came, I saw, I lost

Rejected yet again by another potential employer. At this point I fear I will work retail the rest of my life. I have been out of meaningful work for 18 months.  I will be 59 in March. I think I have become unhireable. I can’t get factory work because I am “overqualified “. I can’t get entry level white collar work because employers fear I will leave for a better job when one becomes available. I can’t get what I normally do because Covid, age, and extended unemployment. I think potential hiring managers ask, “what have I missed that no one else will hire this guy?”.  I’m at a loss as the eroding economic situation at home starts to collapse like an avalanche. It was slowly crumbling for the past few months and is starting to really roll now. I expect everything to crash in a destructive loss of all in the next couple of months. 

Despite the above paragraph, I know I am blessed far above my deserving. I somehow am keeping a glimmer of faith that it is all going to work out. You didn’t come here to read about my problems. You have your own.

I’m off work today. There are a hundred projects that need done from changing the furnace filter to raking the soggy leaves to cutting some big branches that have fallen from the slowly dying big willow. And trying to figure a way to pay a pile of bills. That too.

I’m down today. Sorry to burden you with my problems. I have to unload somewhere and anonymously on the interwebz seems as good a place as any. 

A Day that Shall Live in Infamy

 

Carolling out in the snow

We went with my daughter’s family to see a mighty lght show at the State Fairgrounds last night. It helped stir my latent holiday spirit. The oldest grandgirl enjoyed it immensely. The youngest found viewing from her car seat difficult and it was pushing her bedtime. I am thankful they included us in their family outing.

I have been putting in long hours at the old Big Box. Much work is being ignored at home. The backyard remains half-raked. The days I had off it rained, the clear days I worked. My next day off is Wednesday, perhaps I will get to it then. 

I will miss the local sports ball team play again today. I have the game taped, so please refrain from telling me the score if you see me.

A glance at the upper right of my old iPad tells me I have but 7% battery left. I guess I better wrap this worthless post. Have a great Sunday.

Sentences for a Saturday

I know. I have not forgotten you. I’ve been working every morning and when I get home I have...stuff. By the time the evening rolls around, I just don’t have the ambition to blog. Example: it is five aye em. I have to leave in five minutes for work. 

I’m not up at n the news, so reasoned political discourse is difficult. Besides, near as I can tell the only news is “pandemic “. 

Stay safe.

I don’t care if it’s politically correct or not. Dig the tune.

Something Ain’t Right

 According to my Beer-A-Day advent calendar it is two days until Christmas.

Hangin’ with the kid

We had a big non-snow event yesterday. It did snow, but it didn’t accumulate. The wind brought wind chills in the teens, and it remains similarly cold today. It’s December, I expect no less. It n other news, life continues apace. Too many bills and not enough bank. So it goes. 

Had my scheduled doctor checkup yesterday. A1C was 6.3. All other labs and tests were most excellent. My cholesterol was a nice 84. Weight was good. I got a shingles shot. My shoulder is a bit sore. That never happens to me.  A bit of achyness beats getting shingles again. Getting shingles was one of the more unpleasant experiences in my life. 

I had a second interview a couple of weeks ago.  I thought it went really well. I guess not. I just got the old “thanks for your interest” email this afternoon. @#$@#$&. I’m getting used to those. Unfortunately.

There, you are caught up on the boring part of my life I choose to share. Have a great day.

Dead Cat Dance

 A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he had found a cat this weekend. The teacher asked if he took the cat home and took care of it.

“It was dead,” informed the student.
“How do you know?” the teacher asked.
“Because I pissed in its ear and it didn’t move,” said the child innocently.
“You did WHAT?!?”, the teacher exclaimed appalled.
“You know,” explained the boy, “I leaned over and went ‘pssst’ in its ear and it didn’t move.”

The Big Kickoff Entry

Happy Sunday, blog friends. It is a chilly, but seasonal, day here at the homestead. There is a forecast for snow on the morrow and again later in the week. I don’t mind, it is that time of year. The place is starting to look festive as the wife has been busy decorating every room, nook, and cranny in holiday splendor.

In other news, I don’t have any. The leftists are girding their loins for a January takeover and we will sit back and see what freedom-usurping policies they impose upon us. 

Enough on that. I’m in a great mood and don’t want to spoil a good cup of coffee with politics.

How about some Christmas music to kick off the Season?

Well too bad, as long as I have the keys to this place I get to choose the content.

Enjoy. Or not. Here is Bing’s version:

All the Popular Kids

It is with interest to read various opinion pieces discussing how to rid the GOP of “Trumpism”. There is nothing to stir the loathing of a career politician or the ruling class’ angst like a populist. The proverbial old boys club hates an outsider. Despite their endless and meaningless platitudes about democracy, there exists, and has always existed, a mindset that some people know better than you and ought to rule.

Nothing scares the ruling class like the notion of the masses truly voting. Look at the Gracci in Ancient Rome. The Historians of the Empire certainly gave a sense they thought the Brothers were to blame or screwing up things, and certainly by the time history really came into stride with the Victorians that was the underlying theme. One could make the argument Caesar was assassinated as much for his popularity among the Plebian class as for his usurpation of power. To mix metaphors, Caesar was taking the rice bowl from the bureaucrats and They didn’t like it one bit. 

If the Never-Trumpers had any balls, they would have staged their own Ides of March . Wait, they tried with the whole Russia, Russia, Russia thing. I suppose a literal stabbing in the back was just too icky and messy.

Nothing, and I mean nothing, scared the Western World like the French Revolution. Not so much the tossing of the Bourbons, they owed money to everyone and they were never going to repay, but in that the peasants were taking charge and lopping aristocratic heads with regularity. Now that was a problem. Likewise the the Russians a hundred years ago.

Don’t feel so smug. We haven’t treated our American populists much better. Andrew JAckson has fallen a bit out of favor and the Populist of all Populists, William Jennings Bryan, is treated with more than a little condescending disdain in our own modern histories. More recently, look at how both political parties  feel about Ross Perot. 

The aristocrat-types hate a populist. The very construction of our government is by design built to limit the ability of populism to steer the course of politics. Sure, there is a wink and a nod to letting the People have their say, but the passions that elect the House are limited by the two year term juxtaposed by the six year term of the supposedly more deliberative nature of the Senate. That’s why originally Senators were elected by the States, not the general populace and why the President is chosen through the electoral college, not the popular vote. 

If you want Exhibit A on why populism is a bad idea, look at what has happened to Federalism since the Seventeenth Amendment was passed . One of the first acts of a wholly popular-elected Senate was to outlaw alcohol. Cripes.

It will be interesting to see what happens to the Trump era in history. I say that metaphorically, since sober history won’t be written until long after I’m dead. Of course history is written by the victors, and the aristocracy hates Trump with a burning passion, so I suspect Orange Man Bad will be vilified like most populists in history.

My inner Laura Ingalls Wilder

I’m here at the little house on the cul-de-sac. We have the place all decked out for Christmas. 

Yeah, it looks like the image I posted from last year except I added a string over the garage. 

Blogging will be light for the next few days. I’ll be working the entire weekend. I won’t be smiling, but you won’t know. Sometimes masks are a good thing. If you go out to a store be nice. Most of those people at the retail store are good people working hard for low pay. Very low pay. It is not their fault Big Box store (or Mom and Pop) are out of whatever you need, right now. Oh, and Karen, being surly will not increase your chances of me going out of my way  to help you. 

To my “Family”

 Best wishes for a happy Thanksgiving. 

Let me take a moment to offer my thanks for your support, prayers, and especially for reading this blog. You have no idea what it means to know you stop by to see what I have to say. I don’t know why, but I am thrilled you do.

I want to give thanks to Him, who has blessed me in more ways than I can count and infinitely more than I deserve.

Now go and eat some food and get off the internet.

Missing You

 Happy Birthday Sawyer.

have you ever heard a whippoorwill?

Monday. It’s a short week for some of you. Since my life is retail Hell, I’ll be on duty and feigning cheerfulness all weekend starting Friday. Hooray for me, hooray for you. I was slated for a short closing shift this evening and then off until Friday. I have been asked to open Wednesday — likely setting Black Friday stuff, and possibly on Tuesday as well. I’ll do it, I need the money. 

This is a hard and sad week for the family. My grandson’s birthday is Wednesday. It is probably good that I work. A busy body makes for a quiet mind. Thanksgiving dinner will be at my daughter’s this year. I think she finds the cooking therapeutic. Still, a shadow of sadness will dull the festivities. At least I don’t cry every time I visit him these days.

The wife and I put the ornaments on the big tree last night. I’m not sure if we are going to put up the other one. I’m not in charge of decorating. The outside is mostly done except for hanging the wreath on the door. 

There you have it, the boringness that is this blog. 

Worth every penny you paid to read it, eh wot?

it’s what’s good for you

 Milk Duds and coffee, the breakfast of hopeless romantics like me. No, chewy chocolate covered caramels are likely not on my approved diet, but I’ve been a good boy for the most part. I’ve walked just over thirty miles this week. My weight is down to within the ideal BMI charts. 

I did a brief test of the Christmas lights after dark and a section of the big wreath over the garage is out - from 3 o’clock to 5 o’clock. I picked up a cheap box of replacement lights at work yesterday evening. Yes, I paid for them. 

In other news, I have nothing. The local football team plays the late game. I’m off work. I expect those factors mean the wife will expect me to do something rather than sit on the couch and watch movies or read another Travis McGee adventure. I’m also reasonably certain naked wrestling is not what she will have in mind as an alternative activity. It is raining so I won’t have to rake the remaining  leaves. 

Do you want some music to round out your Sunday? Why not? This is the last regular tune before I start subjecting you to Christmas music next week.  Let’s find a good one. This is one of my favorites by Led Zeppelin:

Have a great Sunday.

Easy apple streusel

Yesterday was a gorgeous November day here at the homestead with temperatures reaching nearly 60. I took advantage of the day off and finished the Christmas decorating outside. Lights are up, wreaths are hung, the little tree and wooden snowman are on the porch opposite my old sled. Of course none of the decorations will be lit prior to Friday. I have standards. 

This is what the place looked like last year. It looks the same this year. The wife decided she wants a string of lights around the garage door, so I may add that this week. If you look closely those upstairs windows at the left hand side of the picture, clouded in shadow, you will notice my office where all of my blogging genius originates. I’m sure future historians would like to memorialize the location as a museum to my greatness.

After I did the decorating, I headed out back to rake some of the  leaves in the backyard. The three Bradford pears have finally dumped their leaves, so the detritus is about a half foot thick. I got about 1/4 of the backyard done. Now it has started raining, and it is expected to continue for the next week, so I don’t know when I’ll finish. 

So it goes. Enjoy your Saturday. I made other plans.

What He Said

Go Read this.

Trust me, he is 100% correct. 

The Election for President is next month

One would think that since Biden has a law degree, spent his whole life in Washington, and ostensibly will be POTUS, he wold understand Consttutiooal Law just a smidgeon. It was reported on the National news yesterday he and his team are so frustrated with Trump’s refusal to concede that Biden is considering going to court.

For what? There is no law that indicates Trump must work on a transition. He is POTUS until January 20, like it or not. None of his powers are reduced. He does not need to concede legally. Just ask Stacy Abrams.

More to the point, the election for President has not even occurred. Many States have not finished the counting, they have not certified the results. The Electors do not meet to vote for President until December 14th.

If I know that (and I didn’t sleep n a Holiday Inn Express last night), wouldn’t we expect Biden to understand?  

No wilting flower

Tough. That is the only description. I take inspiration. When even the mums on the covered porch have started to die from the frost and cold, this day lilly just keeps chugging along. 

This was taken yesterday evening. I think this flower could be the inspiration to keep us going through the coming Bidenstan Bolshevism and Kahmela Kommunism about to descend upon us. 

Oh, and you middle-of-the grounders who didn’t vote right because Trump does mean tweets; good luck when the government lackeys raise your taxes and come after your guns. Biden promised he would. You get what you vote for.

he lives

 I’m alive. 

Nothing to report. I’ve had the very early shift again the past few days. Now, lucky you, it is a rare evening post. 

Not that I have anything to say. I just hate the idea of not posting. Damn you Acidman for instilling those blogging habits. Of course the Acidman has been dead for a very long time and likely would have migrated to Facebook  and twitter anyway like most of he old bloggers. I suspect many of you have no clue who the Acidman was.  I’m still here though: 6,900+ posts into this thing. More than a million visitors over 15 years. 

Thanks for reading. I mean that.

In 1032 massive wildfires ravaged much of England. I guess it was global warming.

A man and his wife are dining at a table in a plush restaurant, and the husband keeps staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sits alone at a nearby table.

The wife asks, “Do you know her?”

“Yes,” sighs the husband, “she’s my ex-girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up seven years ago, and I hear she hasn’t been sober since.”

“My God!” says the wife. “Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?”

 

So Sorry

I have to apologize. I can only post jokes until I get a list of approved blog topics and opinions from my Anonymous commenter who believes she/he is the arbiter of all things bloggity here at the old website. 

Regular nonsense will continue after proper edification. 

You patience is appreciated.

Here is an appropriate tune to mellow your Monday. It wasn’t approved, I hoping to get forgiveness in lieu of permission in this case. I don’t know if music has to be pre-approved like other commentary.

A few weeks ago

I stabbed a vampire, beat zombies to death and killed the devil itself…my wife rushes through the room and shouts. “YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO GIVE THEM CANDY, JOE.

Tomorrow I’ll Miss You

A steady cold rain falls on the homestead grounds this morning. The outside temps are seasonal as I sip coffee and hunt and peck one-fingered on the iPad keyboard. I have to shower and shave and pack a light luncheon in preparation of the early, but not as early as other days, opening shift at the big box this morning. 

The wife suggested it is time to think about dragging the Christmas decorations from the attic. I think it is early, but she wants a head start on her massive redecorating she does every year. A few houses in the neighborhood are already lit up. One house fired up their lights the day after a Halloween. Of course that is the same house that burns Christmas lights until April...

 I don’t know what the wife has in mind, but I am hankering for some fried chicken for supper. Some mashed spuds and white chicken gravy really sound good. 

I had a political commentary half written in my head, but I will torgo it at this point other than to say there are reasons for Trump not to concede the election and reasons why the Democrats and media (redundancy alert) are pushing for it so hard. What would you say if you learned Biden underperformed Hillary in every Blue city except Detroit, Philadelphia, Milwaukee, and Atlanta? The four places with questionable voting in four battleground states. All places with extraordinary turnout and near unanimous votes for Sleepy Joe. Something to think about. 

How about some music to brighten your day?

I haven’t heard this before today

 A newlywed couple gets a special present for their nuptials: a brand new sports car. As they leave the wedding reception, they are so excited they drive faster than they ever had before.

“I’ll make you a deal,” said the groom with a smile. “If I do 200mph, you take off your dress. Deal?” he asked.

“Yes!” said his adventurous wife.

As he approached 200mph, she begins to peel off her dress.

With him unable to keep his eyes on the road, the car soon skidded on some gravel and flipped over. The bride, now stark naked, was fine, but he was jammed beneath the steering wheel.

“Go and get help!” he cried.

“But I can’t. I’m naked and my clothes are gone!”

“Take my shoe and cover yourself,” he said.

Holding the shoe over her private area, the bride ran down the road and found a service station. Still holding the shoe between her legs, she pleaded to the service station proprietor: “Please help me! My husband’s stuck!”

The proprietor looked at the shoe and said: “There’s nothing I can do… he’s in too far.”

Rabbit Holes

I’ve discussed before how history leads me down rabbit holes. Here is another example.

A good friend of mine was going through his mother’s stuff after she died a month or so ago and ran across an envelope written from a hospital in Nashville in 1865. He wanted to know why his relative was in Nashville, and asked to help figure out what unit he served. We knew he was from Boone County, IN.

I started with a battle order of regiments in the Nashville Campaign. And advised him to look up the ancestor’s pension records. I knew that many men from Boone County served in the 10th Indiana, but they mustered out in ‘64 and if they reinlisted were moved to the 58th Indiana that served in Sherman’s March, not the Nashville Campaign.

I looked up Boone County regiments and lo and behold found pension records from 1890 and 1894! And there it was, his great great grandfather. Two pages later was my great great grandfather. 

Bates, William E. Pvt. Co. H 7th Cav. Iowa. Civil War. Present address: Reeses Mills, IN. 4 children under age 16. Gunshot wound in right arm at Cow Creek, Kansas.

My relative listed his residence as Reeses Mill. Wait, what? Where the heck is/was Reeses Mill, Indiana? I’m sure it was a place not a location because others in the pension roll listed it as their address too. I found a family tree of one Joseph Reese who was listed as postmaster of...Reeses Mill. But that was in the 1830’s. I know the Bates family farm was near Mechanicsburg, so the Mill was probably along Sugar Creek. My Grandmother was born on that farm...

Hold on, did that say gunshot at Cow Creek, Kansas? I don’t remember a gunshot wound. And what happened at Cow Creek? 

No not that skirmish. 

Fighting Indians along Cow Creek. Ah there it is, a history of the Seventh Iowa Cavalry....

There I find this:

Bates, William E. Age 18. Residence Cleopatra, Mo., nativity Ohio. Enlisted May 12, 1863. Mustered June 19, 1863. Promoted Eighth Corporal March 10, 1864; Sixth Corporal Aug. 23, 1864. Transferred to Company H. Seventh Cavalry Reorganized. 

Cleopatra, MO? How in the heck did he end up in Indiana if he lived in the west at the start of the war...

See, I have historical ADD.

The cool thing is my friend’s great great grandfather and mine probably lived less than 10 miles apart in the late 1800s. They might have known each other. How wonderful is that?

Havya Noticed?

Covid cases are soaring  everywhere. During the run-up to the election we got a constant pounding from the media that alluded to a failure on the part of Trump as the reason. Buried, if mentioned at all, was that cases were on the rise globally. That didn’t fit the narrative. Even the dumbest of Democrats wouldn’t believe Orange Man Bad was causing people to be sick in France or Bulgaria, or wherever. 

Now that the media — not the electoral college or state governments — have declared Biden the victor, we are seeing fewer stories blaming Trump for the Covid increases domestically. 

Why is that? It sets the stage for the Big Excuse come early next year. The media will explain that no President can cause nor heal a virus. We just have to ride it out and wait on a vaccine. And taking a page out of the Obama playbook, Biden will just blame it all on Trump if it does come up. He will wait to do that because he has no different answers, despite his claims to the contrary. It worked for Obama on the economy.

Oh, remember when the media scoffed at the President’s claim a vaccine would be ready in November?

Hey, don’t worry. Joe has a plan to cure the pandemic without destroying the economy. He just won’t tell us yet, because I guess credit is more important than saving lives the next three months. He did say if we all wear masks this would go away. 

In my community, 99% of people are wearing masks, and the Wuhan Flu ain’t going away. Of course if the same people who tell us to skip Thanksgiving and stay out of restaurants and close the schools would quit lauding riots and protests where hundreds are gathering without masks, maybe the situation would improve? I’m looking at you Indianapolis.

Thank You

Thank you to each of you veterans whose service made and keeps America free.

At eleven minutes of the eleventh hour on the eleventh day of the eleventh month, 1918 a ceasefire went into effect marking the end of The Great War/WWI. the destruction and death from the conflagration was so profound that parts ofFrance are still uninhabitable.  

Thank a Veteran today.

creeping up on 1066

Today marks yet another September-like day with temperatures in the upper seventies. Like I have over the past four days, I raked the leaves in the front yard. It is a waste of time since the neighbors on either side don’t rake theirs at all so they blow into my yard. So it goes. 

The warm weather is supposed to move out with a cold front later tonight, followed by more seasonal weather. I’m ok with that too. It doesn’t matter if I’m not, does it?

Sorry, this just cracks me up:

I guess they didn’t follow their own rules.

All the leaves are brown

Monday, Monday. Another work week is upon us. Yes I’m mixing my Mommas and Pappas today. So it goes. I had Saturday off so I spent the morning doing pretty much nothing, if you call reading and watching TV nothing. Then I got off the couch and cleaned the garage. I raked the leaves in the front yard. I sat on the patio and had a beer and a good cigar in the mild sunshine and Indian summer warmth.  

The yard was completely covered again Sunday afternoon. Sigh.

Sunday, I worked all day. It was very busy and customers were in a surly unpleasant mood. Likely disgruntled over the stolen election, I suppose. 

Hoosiers went to the polls in record numbers this year, with 60%+ voting. That turnout was nothing compared to blue cities in battleground states where turnout topped 90%. You know, where they still can’t figure out how to count. You know, where nearly every vote somehow goes to Biden. You know, where turnout was even higher than for Obama. Who knew minorities supported Basement Joe even more than the first African-American to run for President. But there is nothing fishy there move on, brother, move on. 

That’s the way it is. The courts are never going to intervene and precipitate a civil war and righties are not going to start it without clear and definitive proof the media and politicians will never supply. Suck it up and pray for a Republican victory in the Georgia senatorial runoffs. A gridlocked Congress is a good thing.

Get out your indelible marker and put a big X through the words in the Ninth and Tenth Amendments as Sleepy Joe issues national mask mandates and shuts down the economy. But China won’t mind, those payoffs to the Biden family will get results as China Joe gets rid of the Trump tariffs as a measure to “kick start” the economy. Gotta fill those Walmart shelves after weeks of being stuck at home, people. 

You read it here. 

Seeing a man about a horse

Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father.

He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse’s legs, rump, and chest.

After a few minutes, Johnny asked, “Dad, why are you doing that?”

His father replied, “Because when I’m buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy.

Johnny, looking worried, said,“Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom.”

when they come acalling

The wife and I have always had this agreement. Should Esther Williams circa 1937 or Catherine Zeta-Jones, or  Elizabeth Montgomery circa 1967 show up at the house exclaiming their need and desire to be with me, the wife will give her hearty consent. Likewise she can have a George Clooney or Thomas Rhett or whomever strikes her fancy these days.

Sorry Catherine Zeta-Jones, but you are out, off the list. Esther, go jump n a lake. Samantha, make yourself disappear. You have all been replaced with my current Hallmark girlfriend:

Lacey Chabert has taken over the number one slot among fantasy celebrity girlfriends.

Running a close second is Autumn Reeser because why not?

Recapping the updates

It appears we will have a Sleepy Joe Presidency. 

I think the vote was more a repudiation of Trump than an embrace of the Democratic platform as evidenced by the gains in the house and in State-level governments. The Senate will hinge on the Georgia run-offs and that will clearly give credence to my theory. Or not. 

The good news is we can expect an end to the Wuhan flu as soon as Biden takes office. He has a plan to defat it, he told us so, and exit polls indicate the Corona is the largest issue in voting. Be careful of what you wish for.

Here’s what we can look forward to:

Lefties are gonna riot

I see the lefties are protesting and rioting again this evening. Supposedly to make sure every vote is counted. It seems to me that is exactly what is happening. Some votes have been counted last least two or three times to get the “right” results. 

One thing is for sure, 100% of Americans think 50% of Americans are crazy. 

Win some, Lose some

After work I drove on past the house a half mile or so to my polling place. There weren’t many cars in the church lot. There was no sign of Proud Boys or Antifa looking to make trouble. No protests. No riots. I moseyed in and there was exactly  one person voting. No line at all. Poll workers outnumbered voters by about five to one. I jumped behind the machine, did my civic duty and was out of there in less than five minutes including showing my ID and digitally signing in.

Thanks to everyone who voted early making my trip to the polls smooth, quick, and easy.

Unfortunately, the lack of an hours-long wait to vote left plenty of time to rake leaves.

It's important to pay good attention to the election signs in the front yards. Last time I voted for a real estate agent.

Hitting the home stretch

I’ve retreated to my office with the space heater running. I figure I can get moderately warm in that confined space. The rest of the house is a chilly 52F. I’m looking out the window anxiously awaiting the arrival of the HVAC man. The wife went to the grandgirls to babysit there today. The current inside temperatures are too cold for the girls, especially the 18 month old who refuses to leave on her socks.

Last night was the coldest night of fall so far. The good news is temperatures are expected to moderate this week, reaching back with to the seventies by the weekend. No matter, we have to have a furnace. 

In other news, it seems that in addition to new brakes and tires, the wife’s our car needs a transmission overhaul/replacement. The repair costs are quickly escalating past the value of a 2012 model car with 119,000+ miles. 

Life happens. There is no point in crying about it. I maintain an only slightly wavering faith that things work out like they should. 

Blogging will be sporadic the balance of the week. You will not get your accustomed morning post unless I put one in the can for future publishing. I have the very early shift (5:30AM) every Day Tuesday through Friday. I might post in the afternoon or not. Check back ten or twelve times a day to be sure. 

If you remain unsure how to vote I’m afraid nothing I write will sway you. 

The wife summed it up for me. She said she isn’t voting for Trump. She is voting for the Republicans because the leftist tilt of the Democrats is just too much. Plus, she thinks Harris is a real bitch. And my wife rarely swears. 

Saturday Night

 The wife and I were on the couch last night watching a Hallmark Christmas movie. 

There were these most unlikeable characters. They were blue blood, snobby, “your off the rack dress looks nice on you, dear”, crumpets and caviar, “the maid did a wonderful job decorating the tree this year” types. 

The wife adjusted her blanket and stretched her feet towards the space heater and said “I could never stand to be rich and be around stuck-up people like that”.

I looked at her and replied “There’s no f-ing danger of that, Charlotte”.

And that is why we have been married more than 36 years.