My credibility is strained

Does anyone really believe the FBI was able to read and analyze 650,000 emails found on Huma's computer in just over a week? There were no follow up interviews needed, that this trove had nothing new?

It takes me two hours to analyze my receipts and do my expenses every month, and I know what is in those receipts.

This sure isn't Hoover's FBI.  This isn't even Barney Fife's FBI.

Tales from the road

I stopped in a small town in Northeast Indiana for lunch yesterday. It was after 1:00 and there was no one in line at the Burger King. As I waited on my crappy Whopper meal, one of the employees came in and dropped two bags from Wendy's right behind the counter. The manager told her thank you.

As the same manager handed me my tray, I asked her "What does it say about my choice to eat at your Burger King when you get your lunch from Wendy's.?".

Her face turned red and she stammered "Uhm, since I have to pay for my meal, and uhm, I get tired of eating the same thing all the time, and uhm..."

I gave her one of my winning grins to let her off the hook.

I am willing to bet if the owner of that particular BK saw those rival sacks it would be a firing offense. Heck, she was probably all of 19 and likely was an assistant manager simply because she stayed there for longer than any other employee. No big deal.  It did amuse me to no end.

People are jerks

My son-in-law is a wonderful guy. He hails from a Chicago suburb. He is a proud Cubs fan and flies a flag with the team logo. In the winter it is a Blackhawks flag.

This morning, they discovered someone had painted "CLE" in letters several feet high across their garage door.

It is just a baseball game people.

In truth, I doubt the vandalism was by a disgruntled Indians fan, but rather teens trolling the neighborhood, looking for unlocked cars to ransack and easy targets of theft. The criminals from the city have discovered it is far more lucrative to target the suburbs than their own blighted neighborhoods.  I'm sure they got a good laugh.

It is not so funny for the homeowner who has to miss work to file a police report, spend time trying to clean up the vandalism, and possibly pay several hundred dollars for a new garage door.

On to other stuff

Yesterday was a killer. I was up late Wednesday. I left early to drive up into the mitten state. Visited a potential new customer. Tired driving sucks. Podcasts, talk radio, and audiobooks kept me going and paying attention.

I got upgraded to a suite at the hotel. There are advantages to being a "diamond member".  My full-sized refrigerator has 2-1/2 bottles of water in it. That is a waste. But I confess I do like a king sized bed.

I have one customer visit this morning, also to a potential new customer, then I am heading back down every middle schooler's favorite highway (69) toward home. Or I might take the back roads. It all depends on my mood. In either case I should be home by mid-afternoon.

Enjoy your Friday.

'Cause I'm sentimental tonight

More

What he said

Rizzo tosses the glove, puts the ball in his pocket. Smart man.

Epic

Perhaps that was the greatest baseball game I have ever seen. I'm confident I would say that no matter the outcome. But man oh man am I happy boy today. I never thought I would see this day. In 2012 the Cubs lost more than 100 games. The blew leads to lose in elimination games in 1984, and twice in 2003 with lots of bad, bad baseball in the intervening years.

I started following the Cubs closely when I was eight or ten. I read the box scores every day in the paper. I listened to games on my tiny transistor when the weather was just right. When we got cable in the late 1970s, I could finally watch them on the mighty WGN. Heartbreak and hopelessness were the tone of every season.

I thought the Cubs were the best team in baseball in 1984. Lost in the LCS.

I thought history was ready in 2003, but the team cracked under a century of expectations.

I feel bad for Indians fans. They played a great series. The teams so evenly matched.

But I am on a happy planet today. We broke out a bottle of 15 year old champagne last night. We did not finish it, but who cares?

THE CUBS ARE WORLD CHAMPIONS

The End is Near

A good friend of mine was Cleveland born and raised. He lived and worked in Chicago for more than a decade. He told me ten years ago he knew the date the world would end; the day the Cubs and Indians met for game 7 in the World Series.

Repent.

That day is upon us. Will Lake Erie wash away the stadium with a giant tidal wave? Will the mighty Cuyahoga River erupt in flames? Oh wait, that already happened. Will that ugly pyramid that is the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame collapse under the weight of its own pretentiousness? Will the ghost of Ricky Vaughn imbue the Cleveland pitchers with a wild thing vibe? Will the goat again have its revenge? Will 108 years of expectations be too much of a burden? Will the Indian pitchers regain their shutout form? Will the Cubs bats remain hot negating the Cleveland bullpen advantage?

It is going to be a good one tonight.

If fate does not decree that neither of these teams should be allowed to ever win a championship.

If I see four guys riding horses up Superior Avenue I'm going to start praying.

Four

We had four trick or treaters ring the bell last night. Five if you count the granddaughter, who looked marvelously cute in her Belle from Beauty and the Beast costume. Next year I'm going to grab a half dozen full sized Snickers and be done with it. I doubt we have had two dozen kids total on Halloween in the past three years. At the old house we would go through at least three of the giant bags of candy every year. I guess our street here in suburbia is just isolated enough that the kids don't bother.

It looks to be a warm day here. Perfect for taking leaves. The only problem is my trees are remaining steadfastly stubborn and are not even turning color yet. They are a greenish-yellow at best. Heck, I'm still getting tomatoes from my little garden. It is November and barring an unexpected frost I will have eight or ten ripen by the end of the week. I'm not complaining, more seasonable weather is due by the weekend.

Have a happy Tuesday.

And while we are at it, stay off my lawn

When I am the King of the World, and for the life of me I cannot understand why I have yet to be coronated by general acclimation, I will decree Halloween outlawed. It represents the worst of society. Think on it. The whole basis of the celebration is to go to a neighbor, or even a stranger, and query "trick or treat?". That is just the lesson I want the youth of America learning; to loot and beg.

There are religious and pagan roots to Halloween going back to harvest festivals and blah, blah you didn't come here for a history lesson. You didn't, did you? Because I will bring out the facts....I thought not.

Now Halloween has become just a big retail holiday designed to capture your spare dollars between back-to-school shopping and a kick off to Christmas. For goodness sake, the Big Yellow Price Tag has been advertising Holiday shopping for more than a week already! That is something else I will address when I am Supreme Global Pontiff and Ruler of All Land and Sea. That alone is good enough to put me in charge. I won't even mention that with me crowned Arbiter of Taste and Ultimate Leader you will never, ever have to see or hear a political ad again.

Anyway, the begging bastards better show up this year. I bought the candy and I do not need the leftovers.  The past few years have been a bust for the looters and beggars here in the neighborhood. Back when we lived in Shelbytucky, we had hundreds of visitors on Halloween. The neighborhood looked like what you see on made for TV movies; families and kids moving in vast herds from door-to-door collecting candy under threat of vandalism and mayhem.

We are ready, if the kids show up. At least until next year, when things will different. Surely, I will be Emperor of Everything by then.

Apparently Huma is just as careless with emails as her boss

I'm too depressed to write about the important stuff. So instead of baseball we will write about politics today.

I'm laughing my rear off at Hillary though. Isn't it ironic she is calling on the FBI to get on with the investigation and release what they know right now. She demands transparency.

If Clinton would not have lied, denied, obfuscated, covered up her server, deleted more than half of the emails, stalled to get immunity for her staff, and generally did her best Nixon impersonation, this investigation would have ended long, long ago.

Of course if she had actually cooperated someone else would be the Democrat Party nominee. So draw your own conclusions. I'm not surprised, hypocrisy has always been a salient feature of most Democrats.

Feminists insist we should elect Hillary because she has a vagina. They say most of society's problems are caused by men's wieners. I guess in this case one Wiener in particular is the issue.

Fading in flashing glory

The Indians were the better team last night. They were better at the plate and had better pitching. In other words, they beat the hapless Cubbies at their own game. If the Cubs don't find their magic bats this will be a short series. I'm not depressed yet, they were down 2-1 in the NLCS and won in six games. They have shown they can win on the road. This is two evenly matched teams.

I slept fairly well for the first time in weeks. My hacking cough was held to a minimum. More importantly, the doc released me to sleep on my stomach. No more sleeping on my back. I am back to my natural position, on my belly, faced pressed under the pillow. Ahhhh.

Watching the ballgame last night I quipped to the wife that based on commercials you would think all we were interested in was cars, beer and boners.

"That is pretty much all guys think about isn't it?" She replied. Score one for the missus.

It looks to be a gorgeous fall day here in Hoosierdom.  I hope it is nice where you are. Enjoy your weekend. That is an order.

Breaking

The FBI is reopening the Hillary Email case. They already had plenty of proof the law was broken, will more violations make a difference?  Will 51 top secret emails instead of 50 tip the scale?

This is far more breaking wind than breaking news. Comey is trying to quell the rumbles in the rank and file. Too late, you have already shown the bureau is politicized.

Look, Clinton either set up the server to avoid FOIA laws, or she is incompetent. There is no door number 3. Either should disqualify her for office.

I am happy to take arguments to the contrary in the comments. Support your candidate, you Democrats.  Oh, and "but Trump" is not an argument.

The Pioneers moved to the frontier because they were bored. It was something to do.

Just before 1:00 PM yesterday the lights blinked, came on, then went out. The sky was clear, there was no wind. The wife had just finished making lunch for our granddaughter.. I was staring into the pantry wondering what I would eat. Since our stove is electric and power was not yet restored, I took a coupon down to the Golden Arches  and grabbed my wife and I some nearly inedible lunch. The power company said we would be restored by 3:00. At 2:30 they said it would be at six o'clock.

Do you know boring life is without electricity? No TV, no internet, no radio. It was real-life Gillian's Island. Duke Energy updated the restore estimate to 10 PM. I said to leave the fridge shut.  We headed for dinner out. The wife ran her phone and iPad dead. We plugged them in the car. A new update text informed me we could expect the power to be restored this morning by 7:30.

We went to WalMart to kill some time.

Back home, we lit some candles. It was starting to get chilly in the house. My wife said she was cold. I suggested naked body heat was the solution. There was enough light to see her frown. My iPad power level read 5%.  It looked like I was going to have to actually have a conversation with my wife to pass the time!

It was like a surprise party when the lights kicked on just before eleven.

it is Friday, and it fits the theme. Not really.

Has there ever been an odder music video? In what way does this fit in with the beach? And why is she in a dress on the beach? Why is no one paying attention to the woman, in a long dress, singing on the beach about a hanging, infidelity, murder, and other dark themes? I'm pretty sure nothing here was designed to be ironic.

I have had my fill of doctors for this week

I went back to the eye surgeon today. He was pleased, I'm recovering nicely. He had no answer as to why my vision is trending towards "really sucks" again. In fact, according to the eye chart, it has improved a bit since last time. He said my severe astigmatism is the culprit and allowed that the surgeries may have made it worse. The good news is my vision is correctable to almost 20/20 in both eyes. In the end this all sure beats going blind. That was option two in this process.

I broke down and went to the Doc-in-a-box yesterday. I have bronchitis. $85 in prescriptions later I coughed and hacked more last night than ever. I spent the night in the recliner so the wife could at least sleep. The over the counter cough syrup seems to work better than the codine-laced 'good stuff': at least so far. A Z-Pack and inhaler don't seem to be doing much yet.  Yeah, that $85 was a good chunk of the funds we had saved away in the HSA to pay for glasses.

The money tree in the backyard has yet to bear the twenty dollar bills I expected. I suppose the magic beans I planted were a hoax too.

one apiece

It is only one

The Cubs won't win any games if they are going to strike out 15 times. Once again they looked like a whole team of Major League's Pedro Cerrano, who famously could not hit a curveball. LA's Rich Hill did the same to the Cubs hitters.

double play

Baseball's Sad Lexicon

These are the saddest of possible words:

"Tinker to Evers to Chance."

Trio of bear cubs, and fleeter than birds,

Tinker and Evers and Chance.

Ruthlessly pricking our gonfalon^[a] bubble,

Making a Giant hit into a double^[b] –

Words that are heavy with nothing but trouble:

"Tinker to Evers to Chance."

Source 

According to Wikipedia, and everything there is accurate, a gondolier is a penet or flag.

Pigs do not sweat

Here we are on a chilly and sunny Monday morning and I have nothing to report. I really don't know where the weekend went. Saturday we...and then...  And then Sunday I ...

Yeah, it was like that.

Today, I am going to finally drag myself to the doc-in-a-box. I have been coughing for more than two weeks. I have emptied three bottles of over-the-counter cough syrup and countless cough drops. I don't feel bad, I just cannot quit coughing. I suspect lung rabies, or perhaps a rare strain of chest Ebola. There is no doubt in my mind it is so bad the disease will be named after me henceforth. "Oh no, Tom has a case of the JoeCough". Or not.

Anyway it is the start of a new week. Hope you have a good one.

Next year has finally arrived

Oh my, oh my. I honestly never thought I would live to see the Cubs in the World Series. Now I want them to win it so badly that I lack the vocabulary to properly express it. I hate to say it Miss Jean, but I really hope your Indians lose.

The task ahead is tough. Cleveland has rolled through the playoffs, and will have a "hey, we are here too" chip on their shoulder. They are also young and hungry. They have great pitching aided by the damnable designated hitter rule.

I'm as giddy as a school girl. If I needed to hand write a note I would consider dotting my "i's" with little hearts or perhaps a tiny "c". I might skip down the sidewalk during my morning walk. As last night's game ended with a sweet double play I gave a jump, a woot, and danced a jig around my living room. I dropped my wife a high five and stole a kiss. I gave her a hearty Trumpian grope on the rump. I watched the post game celebrations for an hour.

I suspect my wife is sorry she promised I could get a Cubs tattoo if they ever made it to the World Series.

Yeah, but it is hard to dance to.

October 20 marked the 39th anniversary of the plane crash that killed several members of the Lynyrd Skynyrd band and others. I have always liked blues influenced southern rock and by all accounts the band put on a great show. I watched a documentary about LS recently, and their first producer described them as a practiced to perfection talent. They spent ten hours a day practicing when not on tour. Perhaps that explains why their first album is by far their best.

In 1973 and 1974 I was a punk in junior high (middle school for you youngsters). My brother was a freshman in high school. Every morning a group of friends came by to walk to school, a little over a mile away. Yes, we actually were expected to walk. No one saw anything inhuman in that. Anyway, since my brother did not have to leave for some time because we lived a block from the high school, he was still getting ready when we left. Mom and dad were long gone for work. For some reason, right when my friends arrived Otter queued up Free Bird. My friends always laughed that there goes Otter and his "church music".

For those of you who have been on Mars for the past four decades I offer up a live version of the classic tune:

And that is how it is done.

RIP, boys.

Clack clack

Dear woman in seat 17E,

It is me, 17D. I don't care if you are using your phone to do facebook, or text or whatever. I suspect you are transcribing War and Peace, given the flurry of thumb action there on your phone. But could you turn off your keyboard sounds? You may think that bubble-popping noise on every keystroke is cute. Mostly it is annoying.

Thanks,


Your neighbor in flight

With a Woot! and a Hey!

My blog friend Jean is surely a happy girl since the Indians clinched a spot in the World Series yesterday. In the National League, the Cubs we have been watching all season showed up and finally hit the ball, rolling to a lopsided 10-2 victory. During a text exchange with my wife I quipped that the team should save a few of those runs for tonight.

I was a bad boy last evening. I blew off dinner with my colleagues. I ate room service and watched the game. In all honesty, I felt like warmed over road kill. The cold that has settled in my chest for two weeks moved back into my head yesterday afternoon, so I have snot filled sinuses to go with my hacking cough --again. My head hurt like the blazes and I wasn't really up for group frivolity. I doubt my coworkers missed me coughing all evening much. I walked a few miles to Walgreens yesterday morning to stock up on more over the counter meds. If I'm not better I am going to have to suck it up and head to the clinic for some real medicine. This has gone on long enough.

One more day at the trade show booth. This is a short session; three hours this afternoon. Then, like The Who once proclaimed, "I'm Free". I suspect a few poolside beers, dinner and an early night to follow. I have a 4:40 am pickup for the airport. Then I will be winging my way home. I will miss the warm weather and sunshine, but I am ready to sleep in my own bed.

I did not watch one second of the debate. If you don't know by now that Clinton is a filthy corrupt politician, that Trump is a buffoon, and the rest of the candidates are idiots, then I'm not sure what to say to you. I suspect you are confused by he cereal aisle at the grocery store.

I just want to go home

Two more days of trade show boredom. Friday morning cannot get here soon enough, then I hit the airways back to Hoosierdom. Blah, blah. I'm bored, you are bored.

I know in my heart the Cubs are going to lose.

I also know Hillary is going to win. The media is completely in the tank. USAToday runs six or seven anti-Trump articles every day, with never a mention of Clinton or her scandals. As for the GOP elites who helped plant the knife in Trump's populism, does anyone believe their claims they will make sure Clinton puts acceptable candidates on the Supreme Court? Yeah, that will be their first act after they get rid of ObamaCare. That will be the week after they actually reduce spending. That comes exactly one month after never. The odds are better that the Cubs win the World Series.

Chicago Cubs you are breaking my heart

The Dodgers have accused the Cubs of stealing signs. If true, the cubs are really bad at it based on their poor performance at the plate.

They are getting rolled again tonight. 

It sucks. Just like last year in the NLCS they cannot hit.

Two down, three to go

I was on my feet for about eleven hours yesterday, most of the time bored to tears.  I dutifully stood at the trade show booth, a plastic smile intact. I walked around the show. I only did one aisle every couple of hours so that I have something to occupy my time in the coming days. I am nearly out of interesting conversation with my colleagues.  Three more days.

Lots of cursing

Sunday...the day sucked lemons. I sat all day in a sales meeting. The boss increased my forecast for next year by more than 15% over this year's projected results. There is no basis in reality for his number.

The Cubs lost. I missed the game because I was at a company dinner. Looks like the good guys couldn't hit the ball. I won't panic yet.

The Indianapolis Colts....what a monumental choke job. I got back to my room in time to see that garbage of the last three minutes of regulation. The prevent defense doesn't prevent anything. The Colts are a putrid team, poorly coached and terribly put together. You cannot expect mediocre players to play like all-pros. I'm not one of those knee jerk Monday Morning QBs, but someone needs to be gone.  Maybe several somebodies.

No cursing after all. But I want to.

Four O'clock and All Is Well

Except that I am awake. That is not so swell. Cough, cough, I can't get that hippo off my chest. Cough, cough. I thought I was getting better, but tonight has been miserable. Lesser men would probably be in the hospital. Severe hypochondria can do that to you. Cough, cough . It has been a week of this coughing and I am bored with it now.

I'm off to the land of sun, alligators, and Mickey the Mouse for a sales meeting and trade show this morning. Nothing starts a week of tedium like lack of sleep. The biggest of he big wheels from Der Fatherland will be in attendance. I've not met some of them so I imagine my hacking up a lung  coughing fits that end with a retching gag will impress them to no end. So will the globs of snot I blow into soggy Kleenex stashed in my right pants pocket. "Pleased to meet you, Herr Big Boss. Want to shake my hand?" cough, cough. I guess it would be foolish to consider taking a couple of stogies to smoke in the Florida sunshine. Cough, cough.

I got the grass cut yesterday. The back wheel broke on my mower about half way through the back yard. The plastic hub cracked on the little axle. That is what I get for buying the cheapest model at WalMart. I don't think it can be fixed unless I can find a replacement wheel somewhere. It looks to be a crappy press fit, so I don't know if I can even get the old wheel dismounted. Luckily, I borrowed the SIL's mower to finish the job. Where do you even get rid of a three wheeled mower anyway? I can't afford a new mower right now. Not even a crappy WalMart model. Stuff always breaks down when your bank account is empty. You know it and I do too. It is probably not just my cough that keeps me awake in the middle of the night.

Enjoy your Saturday. I have made other plans. Well, they were made for me. Do you think the boss will buy it that I'm too sick to participate in company dinners and team building just at the time the baseball game starts every night? Cough, cough.

For what it's worth

Still hacking up a lung. I'm going to be a blast at the sales meeting next week. Nothing says "fun" like going to a meeting sick. If I'm perfectly honest, I have little to no interest in what is going on in other territories. I'm reasonably sure they don't care what I'm doing. There are no new applications, no new markets for our widgets. Our customer base is defined, either they buy from us, or they don't. As an added bonus, the sales meeting rolls right into a trade show. Woot! I get to stand at a booth and watch people walk by. I am sure I can drive away customers by the dozens with my wet hacking cough. Next week will be one of those weeks where it is good to be me. Is the sarcasm font turned on?

My granddaughter has stayed with us for the past week. It has been great. Mom and dad are back and will pick her up this morning. I'm going to miss her like crazy.

The Cubs will battle the Dodgers for the National League championship. MLB has scheduled the Games in Chicago to start at 7:08 local time. That is 1908 for those who use military time. 1908 was the last time the Cubs won a World Series. Cue Twighlight Zone music.

Here is some Friday Music for your entertainment. I know it ois not what my devoted reader requested, but I think it fits the current times fine. Besides, I dig this tune:

I forgot all about it, until just now, but it traumatized me for life

Like cockroaches from the woodwork, every woman who ever met Trump is coming out to say she was groped. Welcome to the attention-whore 21st Century*.where everyone wants to be famous and noticed. Just like  the women who were so traumatized by Bill Cosby, but did not know it until one came forward twenty years later, we are going to see a spate of women who claim Trump kissed them and grabbed their pussies without permission. It won't matter if it is true, it is about getting Hillary elected, it is about getting 15 minutes of fame. It is about destroying Trump in the days before the election.

I'm glad, this way we can focus on trivial nonsense, instead of issues three weeks before the election. If Hillary can keep press focused on The Donald, she will not have to address her horrible policies, her emails, her breaking of FOIA laws, Libya, her anti-coal agenda, or her determination to weaken the Second Amendment through executive order if necessary. We won't have to think about her plans to grow the deficit further or her tax increases. We won't have to discuss ObamaCare or ISIS.

Why not push the Trump is a pig angle? It worked to hide Bill Clinton's scandals. How many people believe today that Ken Starr was investigating Clinton's sex life? How many people think Clinton was impeached over a blow job? If a play works, why not keep using it?



*yes, I get the irony of using a blog to complain about the modern phenomena of social media

You all are witnesses

For the record, I'm confident the Chicago Cubs are trying to kill me.

Wayback Wednesday

Taken in 2014. The view from my balcony, Hilton Hawaiian Village, Waikiki, Oahu, Hawaii..

I guess the pot of gold was at the bottom of the Pacific on this day

Not exactly chipper this morning

I was up at 2:45 this morning. I did not wake up, my usual MO these days. Instead, I was still up watching the Cubs lose to the Giants.  The usually stellar bullpen blew a lead in he bottom of the eight, giving up three runs to fall behind 5-3. Cubbie Kris Bryant tied the game in the ninth with a two-run homer that just cleared the wall in left field. The game ended in be bottom of the 13th on a walk-off double giving the Giants tne gictory.

As a Cubs fan I feel that same old bile building in my gut as I tell myself that no, I have not seen this movie before. I guess I have to remind myself that you can't win 'em all and that the other teams were bound to win a game or two as the Northsiders try to win it all.

So now I'm tired and cranky. Worse, I developed a cold over the weekend that has now settled in my chest. A hacking cough and running nose makes me not exactly miserable, but darned uncomfortable.  I am working on my presentation for next week's sales meeting. So that does little to improve my dour mood on this beautiful fall Tuesday.

Some thoughts on last night's debate

I wanted corn and the wife wanted green bean casserole to accompany the beef and noodle and mashed spuds dinner. I wasn't really all that invested in my choice, I like them both. Green beans won the day.

As for the other debate?  I watched a little football, even less baseball, and a couple of sitcom episodes we had on the DVR. I put the remote through its excercises, but never once considered watching the debate.  I went to bed content.

Sometimes a double negative is not positive, rather just twice as negative

Has there ever been two more loathsome candidates for President? Sadly, the bar is pretty low, even going back to the earliest days of the Republic. If you don't think George Washington maneuvered himself into the job, you have not studied history. Politicians are not usually the kind of people anyone wants to pal around with.

Trump is despicable. Yet Hillary has no basis for outrage. I don't think anyone would be shocked if Bill Clinton boasted about how easy it is to seduce women or bragged about groping star-struck fans. Trump's words described several women's encounters with Clinton.

I know this, men are crude. I played on high school sports teams. I have been in locker rooms. I lived in a fraternity -- at an all male school. I have heard crude jokes, lascivious comments, and more misogynistic speech than you can imagine. I have heard women objectified and described by no more than their base physical attributes: " You know that chick, the one with the big tits"? I have met those guys like Trump and Clinton who think every female on Earth wants them. Often they are rich, or extraordinary athletes. Think of that jerk swimmer at Stanford who got off with probation for sexually assaulting a young woman behind a dumpster. His father quipped something to the effect of "his life is ruined over 20 minutes of fun", there are a lot of jerks in this world and most of them want and demand special privileges. Politics is a means to that end with the added bonus of getting to put the little people in place.

I'm sure every budding politician would love to return to the feudal system. They see themselves as lords and kings ruling their subjects. Most, like Trump, Ted Kennedy, or Bill Clinton would have taken advantage of he loathsome right of the lord to have any woman they desired.

Too bad politics is more about gotcha than substance. Too bad we are not looking at the candidates real policies in detail. We spend time debating if Trump was in favor of a war that started a decade and a half ago. Who cares? How about we look at his incoherent foreign policy ideas? What about Clinton's notions of the Second Amendment or immigration, or her disasterous plans to promote green energy? 

Both parties recognize their candidates are flawed and unlikeable, sleazy even for politicians. I am starting to think the main attribute each trumpets most is really the only good thing either can offer: namely for Clinton that she has a vagina and Trump that he has never held office. Beyond that, I'm not sure what either has to offer beyond naked ambition.

I've held my nose more than once in the voting booth. I think this may be te first year I will have to stifle a gag reflex.

And then there were ten

Woot. Cubs win! Cubs win! If you are a fan of great pitching you saw it in game one of the Cubs/Giants series last night. Chicago scored on a solo homer in the bottom of the eighth. It was the only run scored by either tem. There were no walks, a scattering of hits, and one bad pitch right down the heart of the plate that Javier Baez sent over the left field wall. Both teams played terrific defense. This is going to be a good series.  Ten more wins to the Championship.

Additional words are not necessary

Well then

Judging by my metrics, it looks like my readership has little to no interest in my Wayback Wednesday posts. I have one more in the can, then I will not subject you to that feature again for a few years.

Four O'Clock and All is Well

You are tired of reading about it. I'm tired of living it. Once again I was awake at an unholy hour this morning. Three-twenty on the old clock radio found me wide awake. I fought it as long as I could, now I'm here in the recliner pecking away with one finger on the iPad keyboard. I'm going to try to read a little and see if that gets me back to sleep. Perhaps I can cat nap until time to go to work.

It does Not Add Up

I hate commercials that insult my intelligence. Lately one of the trace you family roots websites has been running one so insipid and dumb I rant against it every time I see it on my television. This woman claims by using the website she learned she is 26% Native American. That is not a typo, twenty-six percent.

No matter what the LGBT crowd would like us to believe, Mother Nature still says it takes two to make a baby; a man and a woman. Your genetic makeup is fifty percent mother and fifty percent father. The same goes for each of them. In other words, each of your grandparents supplies one fourth of your genetics. You cannot be 26% anything.

To be one quarter Native American one of your grandparents had to be a full-blooded Indian, or two of your married great-grandparents had to each be half Native American. While I suppose you may not have known your grandparents were Kikapoos or Shawnee, or Mohican, I find it nearly impossible the stupid lady in the commercial did not know her mother or father was 50% Native American. I guess you could argue the woman was adopted, but you cannot look up your ancestors without a name to research. The whole premise is just stupid.  Or you could look at it like my wife, who tells me every day as I rant against this ad when it airs during Jeopardy, "Joe, it is just a commercial"

Wayback Wednesday

Nassau, Bahamas 2013

Purposely Perplexing

Another early morning. I woke a bit after four, stumbled to the bathroom and then was unable to go back to sleep. So it goes. My ability to compartmentalize and shut down my brain at times in order to relax has left me along with my ability to throw a sharp curve ball. I tell my brain to "Shut up, Donnie", but it just keeps bringing up more stuff.

I know the root cause of my inability to sleep. I just cannot get deep into REM lying on my back. Fifty-four years of habit won't be changed in two and one half months. I snore more on my back, I wriggle around more. It is just the way of things. Hopefully, the Doc will let me sleep on my belly after my next visit later this month. If not, I will eventually get used to sleeping on my back. Or I will keep getting four or five hours of sleep. It gives me something to complain write about. There is that.

Trump makes plenty of gaffes on his own, but the media has gone full in for Clinton. No matter what the orange-skinned one says, the media twists it. I think if he said something about the poor people in Haiti being devastated by Hurricane Matthew, the headlines would say Trump says Haitians deserve to be hit by hurricane because they are poor.

I'm worried about he tobacco crop in he Dominican Republic. Lots of good stogies come from that country. Oh, and the people. Sure, I'm worried about them too.  Honest.

Lighten up. The first two sentences in that last paragraph were a joke. I'm not that cold hearted. Mostly.

That is peobably enough from me for now. I often suspect I'm akin to castor oil, I should be consumed in small doses.

"Underpants" is a funny word

I picked the wrong day to go to the ball park. The Cubs rallied in the top of the 9th to beat the Reds in a meaningless game yesterday. Now they wait until Friday to play the winner of the one game wild card series.

If the NFL really wants to grow football in London, and I remain sceptical as to why, then they need a better showcase than they got yesterday. The Colts v. Jags contest pitted two bad teams playing bad football. Penalties, dropped passes, broken plays; it was like watching a high school game. I quip that " I could have caught that pass". In reality one hit from an NFL linebacker and I would collapse on he field crying in the fetal position from pain. But then I don't get paid hundreds of thousands of dollars to catch that pass that hit me in the chest.

It is a paperwork Monday. Reorts have to be written, the Man must be informed of my activity on behalf of the company.  If you find my prose limited, stilted, and boring around here, you sure do not want to read one of my call reports detailing a customer visit.  Veni, Vedi, Vici it ain't.

I suspect you have sat in your favorite chair reading my prolific musings and said "Self, I bet it would be near-Nirvana to hang with that Joe"  Well, here is an example of what it is like to be in my sphere on a regular basis: the wife came home from WalMart last night. I refused to go with her because -- well I did not want to. She came in and said the house smelled funny. "What, like a clown?" I quipped.

Thank you, I will be here all week. I did help carry in the bags and put the items away.

I hope you had a great weekend. Now try to have a good Monday. Look at the bright side, every day puts us one day closer to the election being over and we can return to being inundated with car commercials instead of political ads.

I know

The Indianapolis Colts are a bad football team

Looking for a Kleenex

Life moves on at a relentless pace. SNL leans left of left politically, nights are a bit colder, and fall looms. Seemingly almost overnight, the tips of leaves on the neighbor's maple are turning red and orange. My trees aren't turning yet, but none are the deep vibrant green they were just a few weeks ago. Most of the wife's plants are blooming in almost desultory fashion, a few tired blooms issued for the sake of form; except the wave petunias, who just grow and bloom and grow. Clearly those plants are imbued with the reproductive prowess of a nineteen year-old.

Usually I like fall, but this year the ending of summer finds me not exactly depressed, but certainly not excited. I'm not sure of the right word, perhaps melancholy?  Like everyone, my life is a juggling act. For the first time in a very long time I sense I am losing control of those balls flying through the air -- finances, work, politics, health, family.  I've lost that fifteen year-old kid's ability to smirk at the world, living in a private joke all of my own, that has sustained me for four decades. I have to work at sarcasm and wit. In short, smiles are harder to come by these days.

I suspect it is just a side effect of growing up and older. For the first time health has truly impacted my life, albeit my issues are minor. Never has my health caused me to spend significant time in bed, unable to even work for days on end -- not broken bones, not brief illness, not even diabetes. This summer has been a mental trial. For the first time since I was a toddler I was unable to do what I wanted, when I wanted to do it. Taking care of someone is hard. Needing care is almost as difficult. Again, my health issues were minor. I'm not sure how I could deal with a real medical problem. 

Ah, hell, cloudy days do this to me. I bet my issues could be readily fixed with a dose of nookie. 

Fifteen year-old me lives! 

Driving the Fast Lane on Nostalgia Highway

I am off to see the Cubbies take on the Reds down in the 'Natti today. It looks like we will get wet. I hope it holds off long enough to get some game in. There will be no make up. This contest has no bearing on the standings. The Northsiders are locked into the top seed in the National League. The Reds are riding out the last days before they can go home and rest. I am meeting up with a couple of college buddies. It should be a blast.

Time flies. I mentioned in passing a couple of times that we are in the midst of Birthday season here. It seems just yesterday my kids were little. Now they are all adults. I have no doubt my parents feel the same way about me, even though I have been an adult for nearly four decades.

I'll take a Snickers, and some chips, and a soda...

Happy Friday. It looks like a soggy day ahead. I have nothing exciting to relate as to my travels this week. I was put on the "premium floor" at the hotel. My room was not any better, but I was given a code that let me grab free stuff from the vending machine. That was kind of cool.

My daughter celebrated the big three-o earlier in the month. Today is the youngest son's birthday and tomorrow is my oldest son's day. Christmas was always good for me in the old days.

Anyway, my daughter, her husband, and their best friends have been planning a big 30th birthday celebration for a year and a half. They have a Jamaican vacation set for next week. It looks like an unwanted guest named Mathew is going to be at the resort too. I feel bad for them. A few years ago they went to Florida and the area was hit by a tropical storm. Their Hawaiian honeymoon was beset with constant rain. Now it looks like they are going to get hit by a hurricane. Our family has always been cursed with bad luck. I hoped hers would disappear when she changed her last name. Instead it has just infected another family.

I told her to look at the positive, it will be a vacation to remember. How many people can say they spent thousands of dollars to ride out a hurricane?

Dear Secretary Clinton

I heard you proclaim during the debate that the rich do not pay their fair share in America. By any standard you are rich. So tell me, how much extra did you pay in taxes last year to ensure that you paid your fair share? You are allowed to pay extra. Did you forego exemptions and deductions? Did you take advantage of any of those loopholes you so denigrate? If so, why?

Could it be that you are like every other hypocritical Democrat, quick to spend my money, complain that is not enough, but grab every buck for yourself you can get? Put your money where your mouth is, announce immediately that you are paying 60% of your income last year to the IRS.

Write one of those big oversized checks like they give out at golf tournaments.

Wayback Wednesday

Stuff I have seen

Caribbean Sunset 2013

Not a pirate in sight

No politicians were harmed in making this post

Good morning. It is raining, so it is a good thing I mowed the lawn yesterday evening. The wife had a doctor appointment and then went to get her hair done yesterday afternoon. She planned on spending he evening with one of her friends, so I was on my own. This is nothing new or troublesome for a guy who is on his own for dinner two or three times a week. After I cut he grass I picked up some Chinese takeout and settled in to watch some Cubs baseball. I read a bit, played some card games on the iPad and generally relaxed to the easy pace of the ball game. The wife returned shortly before eleven.

I have some paperwork to do this morning then it is off to the Windy City. I was there last week, and probably will be there again next week. There is a lot of opportunity for my widgets there. It is funny, in my previous career one of my main customers was in a west suburb of Chicago. I stayed there at least once a month. Currently, I have a concentration of customers in the same area. I stay in tne same old hotel and eat in the same restaurants I haunted for eight years previously.Things change and yet remain the same.

Some road warriors go to a town and stay for an extended period for a project. I have a friend who is a consultant who spends as much as a year in the same place. Some of us go many places for a one night stand. I like the change of scenery. I may go to the same places, but I am usually heading somewhere else after a day or so,  i have become good at packing a suitcase.

About last night

Let me first of all recognize my bias. I believe know Hillary Clinton is a liar, corrupt and represents the worst in American politics. I disagree with every aspect of her leftist big government political philosophy.

I find it amazing that Trump was asked about his taxes, his bankruptcies, his business dealings, and stop and frisk policy proposal while the moderator not once asked about Clinton's emails, Benghazi, or the Clinton Foundation.

I have no issue with Lester Holt bringing up these issues with Trump. But this attempt to whitewash these very troubling aspects of the Democrat is disgusting.

For the record, about 20 minutes of that farce is all I could stand.

Now What?

OK. I will accept your position at face value. You are kneeling or raising a hand in protest of a racially suppressed America. You want to draw awareness. Done.

Now what? Protest without plan or purpose is just a temper tantrum. If your version of America is unjust, then what do you do about it? Do you want to disband the police in every community? Do we empty the prisons and abolish the courts? Is unbridled anarchy the end game? Tell me how you will fix it. Without solutions your protest is just another jump-on-the-bandwagon social trend as meaningless as last year's dump the water on your head challenge. You get your  participation ribbon, but that is about it. What is the plan?

If you want real discussion then we have to discuss black on black crime. We have to discuss welfare. We have to discuss culture and drugs and gangs.

If you want a true color blind society then we have to discuss discarding the United Negro College Fund,. We have to abolish admittance and hiring policies that allow racial preferences for certain minorities. We have to quit talking about reparations for people who were never slaves paid by people who never owned another human.

I do know that rioting and looting is not protest. I know that taking to the streets without facts in hand is just vigilante mob rule. I know that every time a criminal is held up as an example of everything that is wrong about America your credibility is weakened. I know every time you regale me with "hands up, don't shoot" I know you are uniformed, ignorant, and a fool.

I'm bored with your protest. You have become that guy carrying "the world is ending" sign. You are the Marlon Brando character in "The Wild Ones": "What are you rebelling against?"

"What have you got.".

You don't expect a repair man to merely tell you your car or appliance is broken. You want to know how to fix it. Anything less is a waste of time. Get off your knee and start with the hard part. Do something productive. Otherwise quit boring me.

Hah!

I have Lynyrd Skynyrd stuck in my head this morning. I slept fitfully last night. What say we just assume that is the case for future reporting unless I relate otherwise. It is a fact of life, and I suspect you really, really don't care. Thunder rumbled and hard rain fell intermittently in the course of the night. It is rainy and damp this morning.

The truth is "mundane" is the most generous description one could muster when it comes to content around here any more. I know it, you do too. I may or may not tune in to the debates this evening. I am sure who I will vote against. Whom I vote for, well that is a diffferent issue altogether.

Victory is mine! I have again succeeded in filling this blank space with letters and semi-coherent words. The evil flashing cursor is defeated once again. Take that blog template.

Simple man

The boy's dog is curled up tight against my hip on the couch as I surf the webz on my iPad this morning. The dog likes to be here. We have a fenced-in backyard where he can run at will. At home he has to be walked on a leash. I like him to come because he chases off the chipmunks and bunnies for a while. The dog is a corgi Jack Russell mix and smart as a whip.

It looks to be a gorgeous day here at the homestead. I have yard work that needs to be done but little desire to do the work.

I had a good time hanging out with the kids yesterday. After the brew tour we went to my daughter's for pizza and cake. The kids all got along and it was very nice.

Guilty

It sure brings on a twinge of guilt to see so many people out jogging, walking, and exercising their dogs as you drive past in your SUV on the way to the donut shop.

Hopping on the hop trail

I woke with a headache after a fitful night's sleep. Tylenol and coffee can't make it worse. The family is gathering today to celebrate birthdays.  My daughter had her day last week, and both boys celebrate this week. We are going on a brew tour of Indy's microbreweries. My wife, who hates beer, is staying behind to watch our granddaughter while the rest of us have a good time. I think this will be the first time all three kids and their respective husbands and girlfriends will be in the same place at the same time since last Christmas. We have seen the kids separately and in pairs, but not as a trio, that I can recall.

Rock a bye

At 12:30 my eyes popped open from a deep slumber. I managed to get back to sleep. I had gone to bed shortly after eleven.  2:13 AM found me back awake. I flipped from right to left. I punched up the pillow and turned it over a couple of dozen times looking for the cool side. I even got up and got a drink of water. Then I started the whole routine again. Finally, here I am at three o'dark-thirty tapping away at the old iPad.

I can faintly hear the night sounds outside through tne closed windows; the crickets, the frogs, the locusts, the chirping din of nature's white noise. Maybe it is just the memories grinding in my brain. Certainly it is not the well-oiled machine it once was.

I can just see the granddaughter's crib in the tablet's glow as I type away in the dark room. This spare bedroom serves many purposes -- blog room, spare TV room, daytime nap room for he baby.

I wish I had the funny tale or the witty bromide to toss into the interwebz for your entertainment. My buddy insomnia does nothing fun to offer up as blog fodder. He has no antics, no card tricks, no dirty jokes. He just keeps me awake.

I yawn a bit as I wiggle my rear deeper into the recliner. I close my eyes for a second, but I know I'm not yet ready to fall into the arms of Morpheus. Insomnia and I have hung out many times in the past. I know his ways. In the old days these late night sessions found me at my creative best. That part of my brain withered long ago. I have always had strange sleep patterns. Even as a boy, i often got up for thirty minutes or an hour at a time in the middle of the night.  I would walk the house, go outside and sit in the warm months, read or watch TV before heading back to bed. Im know it drove my parents crazy. Until I was probably thirty it was rare if I averaged more than five hours of sleep each night.  Now I usually get a steady seven in the sack. 

I have bored myself into trying to get back to sleep, so that means you were bored long ago. As I often say, I deliver the depth of entertainment you pay for when you enter this blog o'rama. I do not shortchange your entry fee. Fat in Indiana gives you a good return on your investment. 

Bon soir, mes amis

The view from my soapbox

It seems there is a bad case of thuggery going on in Charlotte. Too bad, I like the Queen City. I used to go there about once a month in my former occupation. It seems to me that you lose all legitimacy of a protest when it turns almost immediately into full blown looting and a riot. Too bad the President remains silent on this, as usual. For those of you protesting, you lose all credibility when the chant is "Hands up, don't shoot", a false rallying cry if ever there was one. Even the Eric Holder justice department could find nary a scrap of evidence that ever happened.

I'm not black. I have no idea how those particular Nikes fit.  I do know that life is not fair. I do know that your odds of doing a crime, of failing in school, of ending up fighting uphill against the winds of life increase when you come from a single patent home; no matter what color you skin. Not always, but facts are facts, you can look it up yourself.

The bottom line is that protesting a song or a flag will do nothing to change the culture. How about this dialogue: get an education, take responsibility for your kids, make sure they have a better life than you. There are opportunities out there, take advantage. Do not have kids if you cannot afford them. Stay off drugs. Look at welfare as a temporary helping hand, not a way of life. Learn to speak and write proper English. Get a job, no matter how menial. Work hard and use that experience to leverage a better job.  Write it on you hand in indelible marker -- society owes you nothing, you are only a victim if you let yourself be one.

Note that none of this advice is skin pigment specific.

Here is more, if a cop tells you to do something, do it. There are lots of lawyers out there who will gladly make it right after the fact. Lots and lots of cops are dickheads and bullies. The profession attracts those kind of power hungry fools. Lots more are good people who become jaded from spending their working hours almost exclusively dealing with the worst of society. Some truly want to protect and serve. In every case things get ugly when you argue with a cop or refuse an order. Again, skin color does not matter.

There are racist bigots in this world. Some are white, some are black. Jerks come in every color and ethnicity. Do not let those simple-minded creatures define you.

Kneel, protest, riot, and loot. It will get you nothing but a burned out neighborhood. Real change is up to you. Millionaire athletes and entertainers ought to put their money and effort into that message. Anything else is a hollow symbol and a self-serving waste of time.

Wayback Wednesday

Stuff I have seen

Hawaii 2014

Tuesday updates

This is medical stuff. If that is of no interest to you, check back later for he usual content.

I went to the eye surgeon today for my one month check.  Things look OK, but allergies are playing havoc with my eyes and vision. Insurance has denied coverage on three separate eye drops. The doctor is trying again. The good news is I can sleep on either side, and my back.  I still cannot sleep on my stomach, but at least I can change positions.

He is somewhat concerned my vision is not where it should be. In fact, it is a little worse than it was just after surgery.  Me too. I don't want to go through all of this and still not be able to see. They did the old "which is better, one or two, thing. No one told me the results, but I got the impression they weren't excited. I go back in another month. Let's hope my vision tuns better with a good freeze.

I doubt it will, but I can hope.

If it walks like a duck...

A white supremacist shoots up a black church and we know his motivation -- the Rebel flag, statues of Nathan Bedford Forrest, and displays at National Parks.

A crazed killer attacks people while shouting " Allah Akbar" and asks his victims their religion in Minnesota, Texas, California, Florida,....even if he verbally says "I am doing this in support of ISIS"...and the government and the press say they have no clue to the killer's motivation. 

Hmmm.

You choose the adventure

I spent my weekend doing worthwhile endeavors. I spent Saturday morning working at a homeless shelter. That afternoon we spent time at the art museum. We rounded out the day with dinner at a trendy vegan restaurant. Sunday, I watched the news shows, attended church and went to the opera.

Or

Saturday I lounged around in the morning watching an old movie. I then helped the wife clean house -- dusting, vacuuming. I went to the store to get a few items. I lounged on the couch watching the first half of he Cubs game. Some friends came over and we went out for a burger then played Euchre. On Sunday I watched a documentary about the early years of the band Rush. I mowed the yard. I watched the Colts football game. I watched part of a documentary about the band Lynard Skynard. The wife and I watched the recording of the Masterchef finale. Mostly, I relaxed the whole weekend.

I read where the Clinton campaign is reatedly taking withdrawals from small donor bank accounts when the donations were supposed to be one-time affairs. The Clinton's sure have a lot of computer issues, don't they?

It is Monday and I have work to do. The Man pays me to toil on his behalf, not to mess around here. Have a great Monday, all four of you.

End of the roundup, gather at the chuckwagon

Here are some Sunday highlights:

A bomb exploded in New York injuring 29. A second bomb was found nearby. The mayor says there is no threat of terrorist activity. Of course it is terrorist activity, you moron. Pressure cookers filled with metal and explosives don't just appear at random through a time warp. I do not understand the left's insistence that there is no terrorism.

Local TV icon Cowboy Bob has ridden off to the big chuckwagon in the sky, taking some of my youthful memories in his saddlebags.

The Cubs lost

College football games occurred

There is a heavy layer of fog over the neighborhood.

The Colts will lose by at least 17 today in Denver.

Senate candidate Evan Bayh is running commercials about how he will fix ObamaCare if elected. He is talking about repealing the medical device tax that is hurting thousands of Hoosiers. Apparently, Bayh has no shame, nor sense of irony. If only Evan Bayh had grown a pair and voted against his party, then here would be no ObamaCare to fix. He should be ashamed, but then he would not be a politician.

Mom, We are out of Fruit Loops

Saturday cartoons.

Easy chocolate lava cake

Finally it is Friday. It  has not been a great week. I will leave it at that.

The Cubs clinch the NL Central pennant.

It occurs to me, and not for the first time, this place could use an editor. And spell checker. And inspiration. And quality content. Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play? I think it is the same sentiment when it comes to this piece o'crap blog.

As far as I know, we have no plans for the weekend. I'm sure the residential social director has plans she has not shared.

You may choose your own adventure for Friday music this week. Let me know what you listened to in the comments section.

Later.

%#^+*%#*

I have been trying hard not to curse these days. There is an exception to every rule and home repair projects and reading stuff on the Internet seems to bring out he worst in my vocabulary. Both inpire long strings of epithets and f-bombs to drip from my lips like diarrhea. So let me get this out of the way before we go any further:

Are you fucking kidding me? Jerry Fucking Maguire is one of the best sports movies ever? That flick is a piece of shit, a waste of good film.

There. I feel better. What brought that on? I read an article, maybe on Bleacher Report, I can't remember, but I wouldn't link it anyway because the piece was so obviously wrong it is not worth your time. I'm sorry I wasted the four minutes of my life I spent reading it. The premise was to look at the ten greatest "classic" sports movies of all time. I should have known the author was an idiot when Rocky only earned honorable mention.

Some of the choices left me sitting in dumbfounded wonder; Dodgeball, White Men Can't Jump, and Jerry f-ing Maguire? There was no mention of Rudy, no Breaking Away, no Hoosiers! How is it possible that none of these made the list? Oh, the author did include Field of Dreams, but that is like including The Godfather on a list of "good movies you should see". Even a Democrat can be right sometimes.

Any list of "classics" that includes Jerry Maguire is disqualified as serious thought and fit for nothing more than toilet paper. On a related note, it is hard to wipe your ass with an iPad.

Wayback Wednesday

Stuff I have seen

China 2013

Counting the days

Is it November yet? I'm not ready for winter, but this campaign season has been interminable. I have pretty much divorced myself from talk radio, that has helped keep me sane. The TV is inundated with commercials, but at least we are not bombarded like some of you who live in swing states. I think Hillary has pretty much conceded Hoosierdom, so it is the local race commercials mostly.

It seems the tone of this years' political spin is "I can work with the other guys, see how reasonable I am".  Of course we are to forget that when you were in office last time you were a political hack, voting straight party line. We should forget that you left the state to keep from having legislation passed. That your vote brought us ObamaCare. We should ignore that you are a carpetbagger who moved here just to get elected. I am beginning to think only those with the worst possible character seek public office; people too dishonest to work as used car salesmen or run credit card phishing scams from their bathroom servers.

Hillary has made lying such a habit she even spins stupid lies about stuff that doesn't matter. She fainted because of he heat on a breezy mid-seventies day, she went to Chelsea's apartment to see a doctor she didn't see until hours later at her own home. Who cares? Why lie about it? Do we need to have thirty-seven different stories about why you passed out? For all we know you were hung over. You caught pneumonia from your staff, but you are not contagious. Who believes that crap? Clinton lies about lying. Why not "I didn't feel well and now I feel better"? EOS.

I read an article this morning about how the Democrats are already working on their 2018 Senate midterm election strategy. Seriously? At this point I am praying for that Cleveland versus Cubs World Series that will indicate Armegedon is nigh.

Didn't Anyone Tell Hillary to Drink Plenty of Water?

The kitchen smells like bacon today. We had BLTs for supper last night. The lingering smell is not a bad thing. If Chanel could bottle bacon as Perfume No. 8, it would sell by he gallon. Or not. Personally, I find perfume offensive, but one that had a hint of smoked meat...maybe.*

If the media would just ignore he attention whores during the National Anthem the nonsense would die a natural death.

Chicago Cubs ace Kyle Hendricks took a no-hit bid into the ninth inning. It was broken up by a Cards home run. I guess that is better than a little blooper into short right field. Perhaps not, that falling quail would have preserved a shutout at least. I felt bad for Hendricks anyway. The final score of 4-1 seems somewhat ordinary and does injustice to the pitcher's efforts.

For some strange reason I was convinced when I first woke up it was Saturday. Alas, it took just a few moments to realize it was indeed just another Tuesday. I am not disappointed, I thanked my Maker for another day, but I was confused for a few moments. I do have to work today after all.

I hope all is good in your life. Enjoy the day.

* edit: the wife says this is a stupid idea.

5409

The Anniversary is behind us for another year. We continue to pretend it is September 10th. I was bothered by the sentiment after the attacks, and find it ludicrous today to claim it was not Islamic Terrorists, but just terrorism. Are we to assume the attacks had no purpose to the perpetuators? Do we believe those planes were hijacked by a random group of guys set on mayhem and death for the hell of it? That is what we have to believe if we leave Islam out of the equation. If that truth makes you uncomfortable, I welcome a counter argument.

Imagine a revision to history. We find ourselves beside the radio on December 8, 1941 and the President has just described the sneak attack on Pearl Harbor but cautions us not to blame the Japanese, that they are a peaceful people, that a few adherents to a warped version of Bushido are to blame. It the coming weeks the attacks on our bases in the Philippines and on Wake Island are described as just, well attacks. We are told in relentless reports that we should not blame the Japanese.

The whole concept sounds incredulous and even stupid, yet we are told Islam had nothing to do with 9/11. That sounds pretty ignorant too.

Avon Calling

3;48 read the digital alarm clock on the nightstand next to my side of the bed when I gave up and rolled to my feet this morning.  I padded downstairs. I stared out the patio doors into the dark backyard. After a while I turned on the TV and watched the early morning news.  I grabbed the wife's iPad and read some analysis of yesterday's Colts game. I checked the final score of the Cubs win over the Astros.  I tried stretching out on the couch, but it was clear I was up for the day. I gave in at 5:30 and threw a K-cup into the Keurig. Monday has started the workweek off with a bang.

Saturday I fixed nail holes and repainted walls. I moved a couple of shelves for the wife. Our granddaughter came over for a few hours in the evening. Yesterday, I cleaned a little, went to the store, mowed the lawn, and made a pan of lasagna. Oh, and watched a little football.  We had a great evening as the youngest son and his girlfriend came to dinner. Since we had plenty, and they live close, my daughter and her family came over to eat too. Too bad the oldest boy had to work. The granddaughter entertained everyone. After we cleaned up the dinner mess, and everyone left,  I flipped on the Cubs game and slumped in my chair while my wife surfed the interwebz on her iPad. I headed for bed sometime around the seventh inning.

That summarizes a busy weekend for me, boring stuff for you to read. Such is life.

Weirdness ensues. It is 5:42 AM. My wife just opened the bedroom door and hollered down the hall "Joe, who is at the door?"

"Huh"? I'm always articulate as heck at this time of the day. I told her there was no one at the door.

"The doorbell didn't ring"?  No.

I guess I'm not the only one having a hard time sleeping.

Did it

I probably should post something

Chip and Dale dig Toyota Trucks

How can a short work week seem to last so long? It is Friday at last. It is also payday, but those funds are already marked for bills and car payments and stupid stuff like food and electricity.

As far as I know we have no big plans for the weekend. It is supposed to rain. The garbage disposal died earlier in the week. I have to replace that. There is no better way to spend a Saturday than lying on your back crammed under a sink. The odds of having to replace some of the pipe is about 100%. The old pipes never fit right. Since I'm an idiot, I will start work after the hardware store closes. That way the project can spread over multiple days and cause maximum havoc and inconvenience. I also predict I will have to make at least three trips for supplies and stuff I did not think I would need. I have been down the home repair path too many times to expect otherwise.

I have a conference call to prepare for. Who schedules a conference call for a Friday afternoon?

I hope you have a good day.

Quick comments on the events of the day

HHS is bragging about he success of ObamaCare, citing the lowest rate of uninsured in...a long time. So what? It is no feat to claim success when failure to get insurance is against the law. Ultimately failure to get insured results in an IRS penalty. Failure to pay your taxes can get you in jail.  This braggadocio is akin to the city arguing that people are obeying a school zone speed limit when there is a cop sitting on each end. That is not success nor popularity. It is coercion by force.

Hillary gave a weepy CNN interview talking about how hard Bill Clinton's affair with Monica Lewinsky was. Poor Hillary. Wait a minute, I thought that whole thing was a "vast right wing  conspiracy"? You mean she lied to Americans? Why didn't anyone ask about that? Or  perhaps how hard things were for Paula Jones or Juanita Broddarick, or...even the sexually harassed aforementioned Monica Lewinsky? Maybe the feminist icon Hillary Clinton could comment on that?

The press is touting that Obama signed a climate change treaty while in China last week. How is it that a supposed Constitutional Law lecturer does not know that treaties can only be ratified by the Senate? How is it that no one in he media knows this?  One does not have to read very far in the Constitution to learn that under article II section 2.2, it says the Senate has to ratify all treaties. The President can sign all of the global warming treaties he wants, it is the same as if I signed them. Only the Senate can ratify a treaty. Even John Roberts couldn't confuse that one. Could he?

The backup quarterback for the 49ers has become the best selling jersey in the NFL. That stat says much about be state of things In America these days.

Hump day hustling

It is a blustery, rainy day here where the bay is green. My weather app says the allergy warning is high. I believe it. My eyes are itchy and watering, my nose is running. My cheap-ass insurance is fighting the allergy drops prescribed by my surgeon. They wrangle over dollars while I suffer. They did not mind a 'script while I was paying my huge deductible (thanks ObamaCare). Now that they have to pony up nothing is approved. Big insurance is suddenly fighting diabetes meds I have taken for a year and now the eye drops.

It was not my plan to complain today. Sorry. If you don't know by now, this blog is an exercise in free form writing. I sit down and start the hunt and peck routine. I am the living embodiment of the hundred monkeys at a hundred typewriters.  Like the proverbial Capuchin monkey pounding away at an old Underwood, I have yet to deliver anything of note.  Such is life.

The NFL kicks off this week. I cannot recall a time I was less excited. It is probably a function of low expectations for the home team and anticipation over the Cubs playoff chances. Most years my Northsiders are out of contention by July, so I look forward to football. Don't worry, I am counting neither eggs nor fowl, I fully expect the Cubs to falter. A century of futility cannot be denied. I am happy to see the team win more than it loses.

Well there you have another installment of this pretend slice of my life. I have to brush my teeth to rid my breath of he powdered eggs and hotel coffee before I head off to customer number one of the day. Perhaps my allergy tears will make him think I am crying in sincere regret over our late delivery.    We are only late to when the customer wanted delivery, not to when we said we could produce it. That line about lead time on the quote must have been in Swahili or something. I guess the customer should not have waited six weeks after we quoted to place his order for an item that takes three months to produce.

Buck up, it is a short week! Enjoy your day.

At Last

I am off this week to do my Willy/Willie thing, as in Loman and Nelson.  Too vague? OK, I'm back on the road again doing my sales thing. I am off to Cheeseheadistan before the cold winds of winter make the trip more miserable. More to the point, it is a semi-short drive compared to some of the far-flung parts of my territory. I have to ease back into distance driving before I embark on fifteen hundred mile or more round trips. The trip to Green Bay is broken by Chicago and Milwaukee. Omaha or Wichita are just long hard drives.

I have gotten used to being home. It will be hard to return to travel three or four days a week. On the other hand, I miss it. It is hard to describe if you have never been a road warrior. Life from a suitcase is not what most people think it is. Business travel is not like vacation travel. I stay in hotels close to my customers. Factories are not usually in tourist areas. The industrial part of town is not usually on the attractions list.

Don't get me wrong, I like my job. I have been all over the country and world. I have seen things and visited places I would never be able to on my own. I have memories and stories that could fill a book (or a decade plus of a blog). That does not mean it is easy to take off every week and leave your family. That was especially true when my kids were small.

Anyway, I am glad to be back on the road. Working customers via phone is not he same as face-to-face. That is what I am good at. I may seem a giant ass around here, but I am good at my job.

Changing Time

I have the day off, a commie-inspired holiday that has morphed into a holiday marking the end of summer. There is plenty of warm weather ahead, but the days are growing noticeably shorter and the nights a bit cooler. We have had snow in mid-September before. The corn stalks are turning brown, the flowers a little less vibrant in their beds. My normal fall allergy headaches are already in force.

By this evening the retailers will be in full holiday season mode, shilling Halloween. Before the candy corn is even stale the first Christmas advertising will crop up. Ready or not, here it comes. Clothing stores have been stocked with sweaters and coats for a month. Worse, shoppers will soon be wearing them. No more tight tank tops and short shorts. On the bright side the shapely ladies will be wearing tight jeans and boots.

I got the yard mowed yesterday. I imagine house cleaning is on tap today. I don't want to, but I can't sit around and watch the wife toil. I was not built that way. Besides, she has shouldered most of the burden during this wasted summer of surgeries. Last night the wife dropped a disturbing notion into the conversation. She wants to move the furniture around in the family room. I hate having the furniture rearranged. My Mom used to move stuff all of the time. I mean sometimes weekly. One could wake up and find the couch on the opposite wall. It drove me nuts. The wife has lots of stuff on the walls; pictures, shelves, and knick knacks. If we move the furniture, that all has to be moved too. That means fixing nail holes, sanding, and painting. Then we have to put stuff back on the walls. It is not as simple as just moving the couch over there and putting the TV in the corner. I already know I will hate the new arrangement, whatever it is. That is until a couple of years from now and she wants to move it again.  I won't be too keen on that move, I promise.