With a Woot! and a Hey!

My blog friend Jean is surely a happy girl since the Indians clinched a spot in the World Series yesterday. In the National League, the Cubs we have been watching all season showed up and finally hit the ball, rolling to a lopsided 10-2 victory. During a text exchange with my wife I quipped that the team should save a few of those runs for tonight.

I was a bad boy last evening. I blew off dinner with my colleagues. I ate room service and watched the game. In all honesty, I felt like warmed over road kill. The cold that has settled in my chest for two weeks moved back into my head yesterday afternoon, so I have snot filled sinuses to go with my hacking cough --again. My head hurt like the blazes and I wasn't really up for group frivolity. I doubt my coworkers missed me coughing all evening much. I walked a few miles to Walgreens yesterday morning to stock up on more over the counter meds. If I'm not better I am going to have to suck it up and head to the clinic for some real medicine. This has gone on long enough.

One more day at the trade show booth. This is a short session; three hours this afternoon. Then, like The Who once proclaimed, "I'm Free". I suspect a few poolside beers, dinner and an early night to follow. I have a 4:40 am pickup for the airport. Then I will be winging my way home. I will miss the warm weather and sunshine, but I am ready to sleep in my own bed.

I did not watch one second of the debate. If you don't know by now that Clinton is a filthy corrupt politician, that Trump is a buffoon, and the rest of the candidates are idiots, then I'm not sure what to say to you. I suspect you are confused by he cereal aisle at the grocery store.

I just want to go home

Two more days of trade show boredom. Friday morning cannot get here soon enough, then I hit the airways back to Hoosierdom. Blah, blah. I'm bored, you are bored.

I know in my heart the Cubs are going to lose.

I also know Hillary is going to win. The media is completely in the tank. USAToday runs six or seven anti-Trump articles every day, with never a mention of Clinton or her scandals. As for the GOP elites who helped plant the knife in Trump's populism, does anyone believe their claims they will make sure Clinton puts acceptable candidates on the Supreme Court? Yeah, that will be their first act after they get rid of ObamaCare. That will be the week after they actually reduce spending. That comes exactly one month after never. The odds are better that the Cubs win the World Series.

Chicago Cubs you are breaking my heart

The Dodgers have accused the Cubs of stealing signs. If true, the cubs are really bad at it based on their poor performance at the plate.

They are getting rolled again tonight. 

It sucks. Just like last year in the NLCS they cannot hit.

Two down, three to go

I was on my feet for about eleven hours yesterday, most of the time bored to tears.  I dutifully stood at the trade show booth, a plastic smile intact. I walked around the show. I only did one aisle every couple of hours so that I have something to occupy my time in the coming days. I am nearly out of interesting conversation with my colleagues.  Three more days.

Lots of cursing

Sunday...the day sucked lemons. I sat all day in a sales meeting. The boss increased my forecast for next year by more than 15% over this year's projected results. There is no basis in reality for his number.

The Cubs lost. I missed the game because I was at a company dinner. Looks like the good guys couldn't hit the ball. I won't panic yet.

The Indianapolis Colts....what a monumental choke job. I got back to my room in time to see that garbage of the last three minutes of regulation. The prevent defense doesn't prevent anything. The Colts are a putrid team, poorly coached and terribly put together. You cannot expect mediocre players to play like all-pros. I'm not one of those knee jerk Monday Morning QBs, but someone needs to be gone.  Maybe several somebodies.

No cursing after all. But I want to.

Four O'clock and All Is Well

Except that I am awake. That is not so swell. Cough, cough, I can't get that hippo off my chest. Cough, cough. I thought I was getting better, but tonight has been miserable. Lesser men would probably be in the hospital. Severe hypochondria can do that to you. Cough, cough . It has been a week of this coughing and I am bored with it now.

I'm off to the land of sun, alligators, and Mickey the Mouse for a sales meeting and trade show this morning. Nothing starts a week of tedium like lack of sleep. The biggest of he big wheels from Der Fatherland will be in attendance. I've not met some of them so I imagine my hacking up a lung  coughing fits that end with a retching gag will impress them to no end. So will the globs of snot I blow into soggy Kleenex stashed in my right pants pocket. "Pleased to meet you, Herr Big Boss. Want to shake my hand?" cough, cough. I guess it would be foolish to consider taking a couple of stogies to smoke in the Florida sunshine. Cough, cough.

I got the grass cut yesterday. The back wheel broke on my mower about half way through the back yard. The plastic hub cracked on the little axle. That is what I get for buying the cheapest model at WalMart. I don't think it can be fixed unless I can find a replacement wheel somewhere. It looks to be a crappy press fit, so I don't know if I can even get the old wheel dismounted. Luckily, I borrowed the SIL's mower to finish the job. Where do you even get rid of a three wheeled mower anyway? I can't afford a new mower right now. Not even a crappy WalMart model. Stuff always breaks down when your bank account is empty. You know it and I do too. It is probably not just my cough that keeps me awake in the middle of the night.

Enjoy your Saturday. I have made other plans. Well, they were made for me. Do you think the boss will buy it that I'm too sick to participate in company dinners and team building just at the time the baseball game starts every night? Cough, cough.

For what it's worth

Still hacking up a lung. I'm going to be a blast at the sales meeting next week. Nothing says "fun" like going to a meeting sick. If I'm perfectly honest, I have little to no interest in what is going on in other territories. I'm reasonably sure they don't care what I'm doing. There are no new applications, no new markets for our widgets. Our customer base is defined, either they buy from us, or they don't. As an added bonus, the sales meeting rolls right into a trade show. Woot! I get to stand at a booth and watch people walk by. I am sure I can drive away customers by the dozens with my wet hacking cough. Next week will be one of those weeks where it is good to be me. Is the sarcasm font turned on?

My granddaughter has stayed with us for the past week. It has been great. Mom and dad are back and will pick her up this morning. I'm going to miss her like crazy.

The Cubs will battle the Dodgers for the National League championship. MLB has scheduled the Games in Chicago to start at 7:08 local time. That is 1908 for those who use military time. 1908 was the last time the Cubs won a World Series. Cue Twighlight Zone music.

Here is some Friday Music for your entertainment. I know it ois not what my devoted reader requested, but I think it fits the current times fine. Besides, I dig this tune:

I forgot all about it, until just now, but it traumatized me for life

Like cockroaches from the woodwork, every woman who ever met Trump is coming out to say she was groped. Welcome to the attention-whore 21st Century*.where everyone wants to be famous and noticed. Just like  the women who were so traumatized by Bill Cosby, but did not know it until one came forward twenty years later, we are going to see a spate of women who claim Trump kissed them and grabbed their pussies without permission. It won't matter if it is true, it is about getting Hillary elected, it is about getting 15 minutes of fame. It is about destroying Trump in the days before the election.

I'm glad, this way we can focus on trivial nonsense, instead of issues three weeks before the election. If Hillary can keep press focused on The Donald, she will not have to address her horrible policies, her emails, her breaking of FOIA laws, Libya, her anti-coal agenda, or her determination to weaken the Second Amendment through executive order if necessary. We won't have to think about her plans to grow the deficit further or her tax increases. We won't have to discuss ObamaCare or ISIS.

Why not push the Trump is a pig angle? It worked to hide Bill Clinton's scandals. How many people believe today that Ken Starr was investigating Clinton's sex life? How many people think Clinton was impeached over a blow job? If a play works, why not keep using it?



*yes, I get the irony of using a blog to complain about the modern phenomena of social media

You all are witnesses

For the record, I'm confident the Chicago Cubs are trying to kill me.

Wayback Wednesday

Taken in 2014. The view from my balcony, Hilton Hawaiian Village, Waikiki, Oahu, Hawaii..

I guess the pot of gold was at the bottom of the Pacific on this day

Not exactly chipper this morning

I was up at 2:45 this morning. I did not wake up, my usual MO these days. Instead, I was still up watching the Cubs lose to the Giants.  The usually stellar bullpen blew a lead in he bottom of the eight, giving up three runs to fall behind 5-3. Cubbie Kris Bryant tied the game in the ninth with a two-run homer that just cleared the wall in left field. The game ended in be bottom of the 13th on a walk-off double giving the Giants tne gictory.

As a Cubs fan I feel that same old bile building in my gut as I tell myself that no, I have not seen this movie before. I guess I have to remind myself that you can't win 'em all and that the other teams were bound to win a game or two as the Northsiders try to win it all.

So now I'm tired and cranky. Worse, I developed a cold over the weekend that has now settled in my chest. A hacking cough and running nose makes me not exactly miserable, but darned uncomfortable.  I am working on my presentation for next week's sales meeting. So that does little to improve my dour mood on this beautiful fall Tuesday.

Some thoughts on last night's debate

I wanted corn and the wife wanted green bean casserole to accompany the beef and noodle and mashed spuds dinner. I wasn't really all that invested in my choice, I like them both. Green beans won the day.

As for the other debate?  I watched a little football, even less baseball, and a couple of sitcom episodes we had on the DVR. I put the remote through its excercises, but never once considered watching the debate.  I went to bed content.

Sometimes a double negative is not positive, rather just twice as negative

Has there ever been two more loathsome candidates for President? Sadly, the bar is pretty low, even going back to the earliest days of the Republic. If you don't think George Washington maneuvered himself into the job, you have not studied history. Politicians are not usually the kind of people anyone wants to pal around with.

Trump is despicable. Yet Hillary has no basis for outrage. I don't think anyone would be shocked if Bill Clinton boasted about how easy it is to seduce women or bragged about groping star-struck fans. Trump's words described several women's encounters with Clinton.

I know this, men are crude. I played on high school sports teams. I have been in locker rooms. I lived in a fraternity -- at an all male school. I have heard crude jokes, lascivious comments, and more misogynistic speech than you can imagine. I have heard women objectified and described by no more than their base physical attributes: " You know that chick, the one with the big tits"? I have met those guys like Trump and Clinton who think every female on Earth wants them. Often they are rich, or extraordinary athletes. Think of that jerk swimmer at Stanford who got off with probation for sexually assaulting a young woman behind a dumpster. His father quipped something to the effect of "his life is ruined over 20 minutes of fun", there are a lot of jerks in this world and most of them want and demand special privileges. Politics is a means to that end with the added bonus of getting to put the little people in place.

I'm sure every budding politician would love to return to the feudal system. They see themselves as lords and kings ruling their subjects. Most, like Trump, Ted Kennedy, or Bill Clinton would have taken advantage of he loathsome right of the lord to have any woman they desired.

Too bad politics is more about gotcha than substance. Too bad we are not looking at the candidates real policies in detail. We spend time debating if Trump was in favor of a war that started a decade and a half ago. Who cares? How about we look at his incoherent foreign policy ideas? What about Clinton's notions of the Second Amendment or immigration, or her disasterous plans to promote green energy? 

Both parties recognize their candidates are flawed and unlikeable, sleazy even for politicians. I am starting to think the main attribute each trumpets most is really the only good thing either can offer: namely for Clinton that she has a vagina and Trump that he has never held office. Beyond that, I'm not sure what either has to offer beyond naked ambition.

I've held my nose more than once in the voting booth. I think this may be te first year I will have to stifle a gag reflex.

And then there were ten

Woot. Cubs win! Cubs win! If you are a fan of great pitching you saw it in game one of the Cubs/Giants series last night. Chicago scored on a solo homer in the bottom of the eighth. It was the only run scored by either tem. There were no walks, a scattering of hits, and one bad pitch right down the heart of the plate that Javier Baez sent over the left field wall. Both teams played terrific defense. This is going to be a good series.  Ten more wins to the Championship.

Additional words are not necessary

Well then

Judging by my metrics, it looks like my readership has little to no interest in my Wayback Wednesday posts. I have one more in the can, then I will not subject you to that feature again for a few years.

Four O'Clock and All is Well

You are tired of reading about it. I'm tired of living it. Once again I was awake at an unholy hour this morning. Three-twenty on the old clock radio found me wide awake. I fought it as long as I could, now I'm here in the recliner pecking away with one finger on the iPad keyboard. I'm going to try to read a little and see if that gets me back to sleep. Perhaps I can cat nap until time to go to work.

It does Not Add Up

I hate commercials that insult my intelligence. Lately one of the trace you family roots websites has been running one so insipid and dumb I rant against it every time I see it on my television. This woman claims by using the website she learned she is 26% Native American. That is not a typo, twenty-six percent.

No matter what the LGBT crowd would like us to believe, Mother Nature still says it takes two to make a baby; a man and a woman. Your genetic makeup is fifty percent mother and fifty percent father. The same goes for each of them. In other words, each of your grandparents supplies one fourth of your genetics. You cannot be 26% anything.

To be one quarter Native American one of your grandparents had to be a full-blooded Indian, or two of your married great-grandparents had to each be half Native American. While I suppose you may not have known your grandparents were Kikapoos or Shawnee, or Mohican, I find it nearly impossible the stupid lady in the commercial did not know her mother or father was 50% Native American. I guess you could argue the woman was adopted, but you cannot look up your ancestors without a name to research. The whole premise is just stupid.  Or you could look at it like my wife, who tells me every day as I rant against this ad when it airs during Jeopardy, "Joe, it is just a commercial"

Wayback Wednesday

Nassau, Bahamas 2013

Purposely Perplexing

Another early morning. I woke a bit after four, stumbled to the bathroom and then was unable to go back to sleep. So it goes. My ability to compartmentalize and shut down my brain at times in order to relax has left me along with my ability to throw a sharp curve ball. I tell my brain to "Shut up, Donnie", but it just keeps bringing up more stuff.

I know the root cause of my inability to sleep. I just cannot get deep into REM lying on my back. Fifty-four years of habit won't be changed in two and one half months. I snore more on my back, I wriggle around more. It is just the way of things. Hopefully, the Doc will let me sleep on my belly after my next visit later this month. If not, I will eventually get used to sleeping on my back. Or I will keep getting four or five hours of sleep. It gives me something to complain write about. There is that.

Trump makes plenty of gaffes on his own, but the media has gone full in for Clinton. No matter what the orange-skinned one says, the media twists it. I think if he said something about the poor people in Haiti being devastated by Hurricane Matthew, the headlines would say Trump says Haitians deserve to be hit by hurricane because they are poor.

I'm worried about he tobacco crop in he Dominican Republic. Lots of good stogies come from that country. Oh, and the people. Sure, I'm worried about them too.  Honest.

Lighten up. The first two sentences in that last paragraph were a joke. I'm not that cold hearted. Mostly.

That is peobably enough from me for now. I often suspect I'm akin to castor oil, I should be consumed in small doses.

"Underpants" is a funny word

I picked the wrong day to go to the ball park. The Cubs rallied in the top of the 9th to beat the Reds in a meaningless game yesterday. Now they wait until Friday to play the winner of the one game wild card series.

If the NFL really wants to grow football in London, and I remain sceptical as to why, then they need a better showcase than they got yesterday. The Colts v. Jags contest pitted two bad teams playing bad football. Penalties, dropped passes, broken plays; it was like watching a high school game. I quip that " I could have caught that pass". In reality one hit from an NFL linebacker and I would collapse on he field crying in the fetal position from pain. But then I don't get paid hundreds of thousands of dollars to catch that pass that hit me in the chest.

It is a paperwork Monday. Reorts have to be written, the Man must be informed of my activity on behalf of the company.  If you find my prose limited, stilted, and boring around here, you sure do not want to read one of my call reports detailing a customer visit.  Veni, Vedi, Vici it ain't.

I suspect you have sat in your favorite chair reading my prolific musings and said "Self, I bet it would be near-Nirvana to hang with that Joe"  Well, here is an example of what it is like to be in my sphere on a regular basis: the wife came home from WalMart last night. I refused to go with her because -- well I did not want to. She came in and said the house smelled funny. "What, like a clown?" I quipped.

Thank you, I will be here all week. I did help carry in the bags and put the items away.

I hope you had a great weekend. Now try to have a good Monday. Look at the bright side, every day puts us one day closer to the election being over and we can return to being inundated with car commercials instead of political ads.

I know

The Indianapolis Colts are a bad football team

Looking for a Kleenex

Life moves on at a relentless pace. SNL leans left of left politically, nights are a bit colder, and fall looms. Seemingly almost overnight, the tips of leaves on the neighbor's maple are turning red and orange. My trees aren't turning yet, but none are the deep vibrant green they were just a few weeks ago. Most of the wife's plants are blooming in almost desultory fashion, a few tired blooms issued for the sake of form; except the wave petunias, who just grow and bloom and grow. Clearly those plants are imbued with the reproductive prowess of a nineteen year-old.

Usually I like fall, but this year the ending of summer finds me not exactly depressed, but certainly not excited. I'm not sure of the right word, perhaps melancholy?  Like everyone, my life is a juggling act. For the first time in a very long time I sense I am losing control of those balls flying through the air -- finances, work, politics, health, family.  I've lost that fifteen year-old kid's ability to smirk at the world, living in a private joke all of my own, that has sustained me for four decades. I have to work at sarcasm and wit. In short, smiles are harder to come by these days.

I suspect it is just a side effect of growing up and older. For the first time health has truly impacted my life, albeit my issues are minor. Never has my health caused me to spend significant time in bed, unable to even work for days on end -- not broken bones, not brief illness, not even diabetes. This summer has been a mental trial. For the first time since I was a toddler I was unable to do what I wanted, when I wanted to do it. Taking care of someone is hard. Needing care is almost as difficult. Again, my health issues were minor. I'm not sure how I could deal with a real medical problem. 

Ah, hell, cloudy days do this to me. I bet my issues could be readily fixed with a dose of nookie. 

Fifteen year-old me lives! 

Driving the Fast Lane on Nostalgia Highway

I am off to see the Cubbies take on the Reds down in the 'Natti today. It looks like we will get wet. I hope it holds off long enough to get some game in. There will be no make up. This contest has no bearing on the standings. The Northsiders are locked into the top seed in the National League. The Reds are riding out the last days before they can go home and rest. I am meeting up with a couple of college buddies. It should be a blast.

Time flies. I mentioned in passing a couple of times that we are in the midst of Birthday season here. It seems just yesterday my kids were little. Now they are all adults. I have no doubt my parents feel the same way about me, even though I have been an adult for nearly four decades.

I'll take a Snickers, and some chips, and a soda...

Happy Friday. It looks like a soggy day ahead. I have nothing exciting to relate as to my travels this week. I was put on the "premium floor" at the hotel. My room was not any better, but I was given a code that let me grab free stuff from the vending machine. That was kind of cool.

My daughter celebrated the big three-o earlier in the month. Today is the youngest son's birthday and tomorrow is my oldest son's day. Christmas was always good for me in the old days.

Anyway, my daughter, her husband, and their best friends have been planning a big 30th birthday celebration for a year and a half. They have a Jamaican vacation set for next week. It looks like an unwanted guest named Mathew is going to be at the resort too. I feel bad for them. A few years ago they went to Florida and the area was hit by a tropical storm. Their Hawaiian honeymoon was beset with constant rain. Now it looks like they are going to get hit by a hurricane. Our family has always been cursed with bad luck. I hoped hers would disappear when she changed her last name. Instead it has just infected another family.

I told her to look at the positive, it will be a vacation to remember. How many people can say they spent thousands of dollars to ride out a hurricane?

Dear Secretary Clinton

I heard you proclaim during the debate that the rich do not pay their fair share in America. By any standard you are rich. So tell me, how much extra did you pay in taxes last year to ensure that you paid your fair share? You are allowed to pay extra. Did you forego exemptions and deductions? Did you take advantage of any of those loopholes you so denigrate? If so, why?

Could it be that you are like every other hypocritical Democrat, quick to spend my money, complain that is not enough, but grab every buck for yourself you can get? Put your money where your mouth is, announce immediately that you are paying 60% of your income last year to the IRS.

Write one of those big oversized checks like they give out at golf tournaments.

Wayback Wednesday

Stuff I have seen

Caribbean Sunset 2013

Not a pirate in sight

No politicians were harmed in making this post

Good morning. It is raining, so it is a good thing I mowed the lawn yesterday evening. The wife had a doctor appointment and then went to get her hair done yesterday afternoon. She planned on spending he evening with one of her friends, so I was on my own. This is nothing new or troublesome for a guy who is on his own for dinner two or three times a week. After I cut he grass I picked up some Chinese takeout and settled in to watch some Cubs baseball. I read a bit, played some card games on the iPad and generally relaxed to the easy pace of the ball game. The wife returned shortly before eleven.

I have some paperwork to do this morning then it is off to the Windy City. I was there last week, and probably will be there again next week. There is a lot of opportunity for my widgets there. It is funny, in my previous career one of my main customers was in a west suburb of Chicago. I stayed there at least once a month. Currently, I have a concentration of customers in the same area. I stay in tne same old hotel and eat in the same restaurants I haunted for eight years previously.Things change and yet remain the same.

Some road warriors go to a town and stay for an extended period for a project. I have a friend who is a consultant who spends as much as a year in the same place. Some of us go many places for a one night stand. I like the change of scenery. I may go to the same places, but I am usually heading somewhere else after a day or so,  i have become good at packing a suitcase.

About last night

Let me first of all recognize my bias. I believe know Hillary Clinton is a liar, corrupt and represents the worst in American politics. I disagree with every aspect of her leftist big government political philosophy.

I find it amazing that Trump was asked about his taxes, his bankruptcies, his business dealings, and stop and frisk policy proposal while the moderator not once asked about Clinton's emails, Benghazi, or the Clinton Foundation.

I have no issue with Lester Holt bringing up these issues with Trump. But this attempt to whitewash these very troubling aspects of the Democrat is disgusting.

For the record, about 20 minutes of that farce is all I could stand.

Now What?

OK. I will accept your position at face value. You are kneeling or raising a hand in protest of a racially suppressed America. You want to draw awareness. Done.

Now what? Protest without plan or purpose is just a temper tantrum. If your version of America is unjust, then what do you do about it? Do you want to disband the police in every community? Do we empty the prisons and abolish the courts? Is unbridled anarchy the end game? Tell me how you will fix it. Without solutions your protest is just another jump-on-the-bandwagon social trend as meaningless as last year's dump the water on your head challenge. You get your  participation ribbon, but that is about it. What is the plan?

If you want real discussion then we have to discuss black on black crime. We have to discuss welfare. We have to discuss culture and drugs and gangs.

If you want a true color blind society then we have to discuss discarding the United Negro College Fund,. We have to abolish admittance and hiring policies that allow racial preferences for certain minorities. We have to quit talking about reparations for people who were never slaves paid by people who never owned another human.

I do know that rioting and looting is not protest. I know that taking to the streets without facts in hand is just vigilante mob rule. I know that every time a criminal is held up as an example of everything that is wrong about America your credibility is weakened. I know every time you regale me with "hands up, don't shoot" I know you are uniformed, ignorant, and a fool.

I'm bored with your protest. You have become that guy carrying "the world is ending" sign. You are the Marlon Brando character in "The Wild Ones": "What are you rebelling against?"

"What have you got.".

You don't expect a repair man to merely tell you your car or appliance is broken. You want to know how to fix it. Anything less is a waste of time. Get off your knee and start with the hard part. Do something productive. Otherwise quit boring me.

Hah!

I have Lynyrd Skynyrd stuck in my head this morning. I slept fitfully last night. What say we just assume that is the case for future reporting unless I relate otherwise. It is a fact of life, and I suspect you really, really don't care. Thunder rumbled and hard rain fell intermittently in the course of the night. It is rainy and damp this morning.

The truth is "mundane" is the most generous description one could muster when it comes to content around here any more. I know it, you do too. I may or may not tune in to the debates this evening. I am sure who I will vote against. Whom I vote for, well that is a diffferent issue altogether.

Victory is mine! I have again succeeded in filling this blank space with letters and semi-coherent words. The evil flashing cursor is defeated once again. Take that blog template.

Simple man

The boy's dog is curled up tight against my hip on the couch as I surf the webz on my iPad this morning. The dog likes to be here. We have a fenced-in backyard where he can run at will. At home he has to be walked on a leash. I like him to come because he chases off the chipmunks and bunnies for a while. The dog is a corgi Jack Russell mix and smart as a whip.

It looks to be a gorgeous day here at the homestead. I have yard work that needs to be done but little desire to do the work.

I had a good time hanging out with the kids yesterday. After the brew tour we went to my daughter's for pizza and cake. The kids all got along and it was very nice.

Guilty

It sure brings on a twinge of guilt to see so many people out jogging, walking, and exercising their dogs as you drive past in your SUV on the way to the donut shop.

Hopping on the hop trail

I woke with a headache after a fitful night's sleep. Tylenol and coffee can't make it worse. The family is gathering today to celebrate birthdays.  My daughter had her day last week, and both boys celebrate this week. We are going on a brew tour of Indy's microbreweries. My wife, who hates beer, is staying behind to watch our granddaughter while the rest of us have a good time. I think this will be the first time all three kids and their respective husbands and girlfriends will be in the same place at the same time since last Christmas. We have seen the kids separately and in pairs, but not as a trio, that I can recall.

Rock a bye

At 12:30 my eyes popped open from a deep slumber. I managed to get back to sleep. I had gone to bed shortly after eleven.  2:13 AM found me back awake. I flipped from right to left. I punched up the pillow and turned it over a couple of dozen times looking for the cool side. I even got up and got a drink of water. Then I started the whole routine again. Finally, here I am at three o'dark-thirty tapping away at the old iPad.

I can faintly hear the night sounds outside through tne closed windows; the crickets, the frogs, the locusts, the chirping din of nature's white noise. Maybe it is just the memories grinding in my brain. Certainly it is not the well-oiled machine it once was.

I can just see the granddaughter's crib in the tablet's glow as I type away in the dark room. This spare bedroom serves many purposes -- blog room, spare TV room, daytime nap room for he baby.

I wish I had the funny tale or the witty bromide to toss into the interwebz for your entertainment. My buddy insomnia does nothing fun to offer up as blog fodder. He has no antics, no card tricks, no dirty jokes. He just keeps me awake.

I yawn a bit as I wiggle my rear deeper into the recliner. I close my eyes for a second, but I know I'm not yet ready to fall into the arms of Morpheus. Insomnia and I have hung out many times in the past. I know his ways. In the old days these late night sessions found me at my creative best. That part of my brain withered long ago. I have always had strange sleep patterns. Even as a boy, i often got up for thirty minutes or an hour at a time in the middle of the night.  I would walk the house, go outside and sit in the warm months, read or watch TV before heading back to bed. Im know it drove my parents crazy. Until I was probably thirty it was rare if I averaged more than five hours of sleep each night.  Now I usually get a steady seven in the sack. 

I have bored myself into trying to get back to sleep, so that means you were bored long ago. As I often say, I deliver the depth of entertainment you pay for when you enter this blog o'rama. I do not shortchange your entry fee. Fat in Indiana gives you a good return on your investment. 

Bon soir, mes amis

The view from my soapbox

It seems there is a bad case of thuggery going on in Charlotte. Too bad, I like the Queen City. I used to go there about once a month in my former occupation. It seems to me that you lose all legitimacy of a protest when it turns almost immediately into full blown looting and a riot. Too bad the President remains silent on this, as usual. For those of you protesting, you lose all credibility when the chant is "Hands up, don't shoot", a false rallying cry if ever there was one. Even the Eric Holder justice department could find nary a scrap of evidence that ever happened.

I'm not black. I have no idea how those particular Nikes fit.  I do know that life is not fair. I do know that your odds of doing a crime, of failing in school, of ending up fighting uphill against the winds of life increase when you come from a single patent home; no matter what color you skin. Not always, but facts are facts, you can look it up yourself.

The bottom line is that protesting a song or a flag will do nothing to change the culture. How about this dialogue: get an education, take responsibility for your kids, make sure they have a better life than you. There are opportunities out there, take advantage. Do not have kids if you cannot afford them. Stay off drugs. Look at welfare as a temporary helping hand, not a way of life. Learn to speak and write proper English. Get a job, no matter how menial. Work hard and use that experience to leverage a better job.  Write it on you hand in indelible marker -- society owes you nothing, you are only a victim if you let yourself be one.

Note that none of this advice is skin pigment specific.

Here is more, if a cop tells you to do something, do it. There are lots of lawyers out there who will gladly make it right after the fact. Lots and lots of cops are dickheads and bullies. The profession attracts those kind of power hungry fools. Lots more are good people who become jaded from spending their working hours almost exclusively dealing with the worst of society. Some truly want to protect and serve. In every case things get ugly when you argue with a cop or refuse an order. Again, skin color does not matter.

There are racist bigots in this world. Some are white, some are black. Jerks come in every color and ethnicity. Do not let those simple-minded creatures define you.

Kneel, protest, riot, and loot. It will get you nothing but a burned out neighborhood. Real change is up to you. Millionaire athletes and entertainers ought to put their money and effort into that message. Anything else is a hollow symbol and a self-serving waste of time.

Wayback Wednesday

Stuff I have seen

Hawaii 2014

Tuesday updates

This is medical stuff. If that is of no interest to you, check back later for he usual content.

I went to the eye surgeon today for my one month check.  Things look OK, but allergies are playing havoc with my eyes and vision. Insurance has denied coverage on three separate eye drops. The doctor is trying again. The good news is I can sleep on either side, and my back.  I still cannot sleep on my stomach, but at least I can change positions.

He is somewhat concerned my vision is not where it should be. In fact, it is a little worse than it was just after surgery.  Me too. I don't want to go through all of this and still not be able to see. They did the old "which is better, one or two, thing. No one told me the results, but I got the impression they weren't excited. I go back in another month. Let's hope my vision tuns better with a good freeze.

I doubt it will, but I can hope.

If it walks like a duck...

A white supremacist shoots up a black church and we know his motivation -- the Rebel flag, statues of Nathan Bedford Forrest, and displays at National Parks.

A crazed killer attacks people while shouting " Allah Akbar" and asks his victims their religion in Minnesota, Texas, California, Florida,....even if he verbally says "I am doing this in support of ISIS"...and the government and the press say they have no clue to the killer's motivation. 

Hmmm.

You choose the adventure

I spent my weekend doing worthwhile endeavors. I spent Saturday morning working at a homeless shelter. That afternoon we spent time at the art museum. We rounded out the day with dinner at a trendy vegan restaurant. Sunday, I watched the news shows, attended church and went to the opera.

Or

Saturday I lounged around in the morning watching an old movie. I then helped the wife clean house -- dusting, vacuuming. I went to the store to get a few items. I lounged on the couch watching the first half of he Cubs game. Some friends came over and we went out for a burger then played Euchre. On Sunday I watched a documentary about the early years of the band Rush. I mowed the yard. I watched the Colts football game. I watched part of a documentary about the band Lynard Skynard. The wife and I watched the recording of the Masterchef finale. Mostly, I relaxed the whole weekend.

I read where the Clinton campaign is reatedly taking withdrawals from small donor bank accounts when the donations were supposed to be one-time affairs. The Clinton's sure have a lot of computer issues, don't they?

It is Monday and I have work to do. The Man pays me to toil on his behalf, not to mess around here. Have a great Monday, all four of you.

End of the roundup, gather at the chuckwagon

Here are some Sunday highlights:

A bomb exploded in New York injuring 29. A second bomb was found nearby. The mayor says there is no threat of terrorist activity. Of course it is terrorist activity, you moron. Pressure cookers filled with metal and explosives don't just appear at random through a time warp. I do not understand the left's insistence that there is no terrorism.

Local TV icon Cowboy Bob has ridden off to the big chuckwagon in the sky, taking some of my youthful memories in his saddlebags.

The Cubs lost

College football games occurred

There is a heavy layer of fog over the neighborhood.

The Colts will lose by at least 17 today in Denver.

Senate candidate Evan Bayh is running commercials about how he will fix ObamaCare if elected. He is talking about repealing the medical device tax that is hurting thousands of Hoosiers. Apparently, Bayh has no shame, nor sense of irony. If only Evan Bayh had grown a pair and voted against his party, then here would be no ObamaCare to fix. He should be ashamed, but then he would not be a politician.

Mom, We are out of Fruit Loops

Saturday cartoons.

Easy chocolate lava cake

Finally it is Friday. It  has not been a great week. I will leave it at that.

The Cubs clinch the NL Central pennant.

It occurs to me, and not for the first time, this place could use an editor. And spell checker. And inspiration. And quality content. Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play? I think it is the same sentiment when it comes to this piece o'crap blog.

As far as I know, we have no plans for the weekend. I'm sure the residential social director has plans she has not shared.

You may choose your own adventure for Friday music this week. Let me know what you listened to in the comments section.

Later.

%#^+*%#*

I have been trying hard not to curse these days. There is an exception to every rule and home repair projects and reading stuff on the Internet seems to bring out he worst in my vocabulary. Both inpire long strings of epithets and f-bombs to drip from my lips like diarrhea. So let me get this out of the way before we go any further:

Are you fucking kidding me? Jerry Fucking Maguire is one of the best sports movies ever? That flick is a piece of shit, a waste of good film.

There. I feel better. What brought that on? I read an article, maybe on Bleacher Report, I can't remember, but I wouldn't link it anyway because the piece was so obviously wrong it is not worth your time. I'm sorry I wasted the four minutes of my life I spent reading it. The premise was to look at the ten greatest "classic" sports movies of all time. I should have known the author was an idiot when Rocky only earned honorable mention.

Some of the choices left me sitting in dumbfounded wonder; Dodgeball, White Men Can't Jump, and Jerry f-ing Maguire? There was no mention of Rudy, no Breaking Away, no Hoosiers! How is it possible that none of these made the list? Oh, the author did include Field of Dreams, but that is like including The Godfather on a list of "good movies you should see". Even a Democrat can be right sometimes.

Any list of "classics" that includes Jerry Maguire is disqualified as serious thought and fit for nothing more than toilet paper. On a related note, it is hard to wipe your ass with an iPad.

Wayback Wednesday

Stuff I have seen

China 2013

Counting the days

Is it November yet? I'm not ready for winter, but this campaign season has been interminable. I have pretty much divorced myself from talk radio, that has helped keep me sane. The TV is inundated with commercials, but at least we are not bombarded like some of you who live in swing states. I think Hillary has pretty much conceded Hoosierdom, so it is the local race commercials mostly.

It seems the tone of this years' political spin is "I can work with the other guys, see how reasonable I am".  Of course we are to forget that when you were in office last time you were a political hack, voting straight party line. We should forget that you left the state to keep from having legislation passed. That your vote brought us ObamaCare. We should ignore that you are a carpetbagger who moved here just to get elected. I am beginning to think only those with the worst possible character seek public office; people too dishonest to work as used car salesmen or run credit card phishing scams from their bathroom servers.

Hillary has made lying such a habit she even spins stupid lies about stuff that doesn't matter. She fainted because of he heat on a breezy mid-seventies day, she went to Chelsea's apartment to see a doctor she didn't see until hours later at her own home. Who cares? Why lie about it? Do we need to have thirty-seven different stories about why you passed out? For all we know you were hung over. You caught pneumonia from your staff, but you are not contagious. Who believes that crap? Clinton lies about lying. Why not "I didn't feel well and now I feel better"? EOS.

I read an article this morning about how the Democrats are already working on their 2018 Senate midterm election strategy. Seriously? At this point I am praying for that Cleveland versus Cubs World Series that will indicate Armegedon is nigh.

Didn't Anyone Tell Hillary to Drink Plenty of Water?

The kitchen smells like bacon today. We had BLTs for supper last night. The lingering smell is not a bad thing. If Chanel could bottle bacon as Perfume No. 8, it would sell by he gallon. Or not. Personally, I find perfume offensive, but one that had a hint of smoked meat...maybe.*

If the media would just ignore he attention whores during the National Anthem the nonsense would die a natural death.

Chicago Cubs ace Kyle Hendricks took a no-hit bid into the ninth inning. It was broken up by a Cards home run. I guess that is better than a little blooper into short right field. Perhaps not, that falling quail would have preserved a shutout at least. I felt bad for Hendricks anyway. The final score of 4-1 seems somewhat ordinary and does injustice to the pitcher's efforts.

For some strange reason I was convinced when I first woke up it was Saturday. Alas, it took just a few moments to realize it was indeed just another Tuesday. I am not disappointed, I thanked my Maker for another day, but I was confused for a few moments. I do have to work today after all.

I hope all is good in your life. Enjoy the day.

* edit: the wife says this is a stupid idea.

5409

The Anniversary is behind us for another year. We continue to pretend it is September 10th. I was bothered by the sentiment after the attacks, and find it ludicrous today to claim it was not Islamic Terrorists, but just terrorism. Are we to assume the attacks had no purpose to the perpetuators? Do we believe those planes were hijacked by a random group of guys set on mayhem and death for the hell of it? That is what we have to believe if we leave Islam out of the equation. If that truth makes you uncomfortable, I welcome a counter argument.

Imagine a revision to history. We find ourselves beside the radio on December 8, 1941 and the President has just described the sneak attack on Pearl Harbor but cautions us not to blame the Japanese, that they are a peaceful people, that a few adherents to a warped version of Bushido are to blame. It the coming weeks the attacks on our bases in the Philippines and on Wake Island are described as just, well attacks. We are told in relentless reports that we should not blame the Japanese.

The whole concept sounds incredulous and even stupid, yet we are told Islam had nothing to do with 9/11. That sounds pretty ignorant too.

Avon Calling

3;48 read the digital alarm clock on the nightstand next to my side of the bed when I gave up and rolled to my feet this morning.  I padded downstairs. I stared out the patio doors into the dark backyard. After a while I turned on the TV and watched the early morning news.  I grabbed the wife's iPad and read some analysis of yesterday's Colts game. I checked the final score of the Cubs win over the Astros.  I tried stretching out on the couch, but it was clear I was up for the day. I gave in at 5:30 and threw a K-cup into the Keurig. Monday has started the workweek off with a bang.

Saturday I fixed nail holes and repainted walls. I moved a couple of shelves for the wife. Our granddaughter came over for a few hours in the evening. Yesterday, I cleaned a little, went to the store, mowed the lawn, and made a pan of lasagna. Oh, and watched a little football.  We had a great evening as the youngest son and his girlfriend came to dinner. Since we had plenty, and they live close, my daughter and her family came over to eat too. Too bad the oldest boy had to work. The granddaughter entertained everyone. After we cleaned up the dinner mess, and everyone left,  I flipped on the Cubs game and slumped in my chair while my wife surfed the interwebz on her iPad. I headed for bed sometime around the seventh inning.

That summarizes a busy weekend for me, boring stuff for you to read. Such is life.

Weirdness ensues. It is 5:42 AM. My wife just opened the bedroom door and hollered down the hall "Joe, who is at the door?"

"Huh"? I'm always articulate as heck at this time of the day. I told her there was no one at the door.

"The doorbell didn't ring"?  No.

I guess I'm not the only one having a hard time sleeping.

Did it

I probably should post something

Chip and Dale dig Toyota Trucks

How can a short work week seem to last so long? It is Friday at last. It is also payday, but those funds are already marked for bills and car payments and stupid stuff like food and electricity.

As far as I know we have no big plans for the weekend. It is supposed to rain. The garbage disposal died earlier in the week. I have to replace that. There is no better way to spend a Saturday than lying on your back crammed under a sink. The odds of having to replace some of the pipe is about 100%. The old pipes never fit right. Since I'm an idiot, I will start work after the hardware store closes. That way the project can spread over multiple days and cause maximum havoc and inconvenience. I also predict I will have to make at least three trips for supplies and stuff I did not think I would need. I have been down the home repair path too many times to expect otherwise.

I have a conference call to prepare for. Who schedules a conference call for a Friday afternoon?

I hope you have a good day.

Quick comments on the events of the day

HHS is bragging about he success of ObamaCare, citing the lowest rate of uninsured in...a long time. So what? It is no feat to claim success when failure to get insurance is against the law. Ultimately failure to get insured results in an IRS penalty. Failure to pay your taxes can get you in jail.  This braggadocio is akin to the city arguing that people are obeying a school zone speed limit when there is a cop sitting on each end. That is not success nor popularity. It is coercion by force.

Hillary gave a weepy CNN interview talking about how hard Bill Clinton's affair with Monica Lewinsky was. Poor Hillary. Wait a minute, I thought that whole thing was a "vast right wing  conspiracy"? You mean she lied to Americans? Why didn't anyone ask about that? Or  perhaps how hard things were for Paula Jones or Juanita Broddarick, or...even the sexually harassed aforementioned Monica Lewinsky? Maybe the feminist icon Hillary Clinton could comment on that?

The press is touting that Obama signed a climate change treaty while in China last week. How is it that a supposed Constitutional Law lecturer does not know that treaties can only be ratified by the Senate? How is it that no one in he media knows this?  One does not have to read very far in the Constitution to learn that under article II section 2.2, it says the Senate has to ratify all treaties. The President can sign all of the global warming treaties he wants, it is the same as if I signed them. Only the Senate can ratify a treaty. Even John Roberts couldn't confuse that one. Could he?

The backup quarterback for the 49ers has become the best selling jersey in the NFL. That stat says much about be state of things In America these days.

Hump day hustling

It is a blustery, rainy day here where the bay is green. My weather app says the allergy warning is high. I believe it. My eyes are itchy and watering, my nose is running. My cheap-ass insurance is fighting the allergy drops prescribed by my surgeon. They wrangle over dollars while I suffer. They did not mind a 'script while I was paying my huge deductible (thanks ObamaCare). Now that they have to pony up nothing is approved. Big insurance is suddenly fighting diabetes meds I have taken for a year and now the eye drops.

It was not my plan to complain today. Sorry. If you don't know by now, this blog is an exercise in free form writing. I sit down and start the hunt and peck routine. I am the living embodiment of the hundred monkeys at a hundred typewriters.  Like the proverbial Capuchin monkey pounding away at an old Underwood, I have yet to deliver anything of note.  Such is life.

The NFL kicks off this week. I cannot recall a time I was less excited. It is probably a function of low expectations for the home team and anticipation over the Cubs playoff chances. Most years my Northsiders are out of contention by July, so I look forward to football. Don't worry, I am counting neither eggs nor fowl, I fully expect the Cubs to falter. A century of futility cannot be denied. I am happy to see the team win more than it loses.

Well there you have another installment of this pretend slice of my life. I have to brush my teeth to rid my breath of he powdered eggs and hotel coffee before I head off to customer number one of the day. Perhaps my allergy tears will make him think I am crying in sincere regret over our late delivery.    We are only late to when the customer wanted delivery, not to when we said we could produce it. That line about lead time on the quote must have been in Swahili or something. I guess the customer should not have waited six weeks after we quoted to place his order for an item that takes three months to produce.

Buck up, it is a short week! Enjoy your day.

At Last

I am off this week to do my Willy/Willie thing, as in Loman and Nelson.  Too vague? OK, I'm back on the road again doing my sales thing. I am off to Cheeseheadistan before the cold winds of winter make the trip more miserable. More to the point, it is a semi-short drive compared to some of the far-flung parts of my territory. I have to ease back into distance driving before I embark on fifteen hundred mile or more round trips. The trip to Green Bay is broken by Chicago and Milwaukee. Omaha or Wichita are just long hard drives.

I have gotten used to being home. It will be hard to return to travel three or four days a week. On the other hand, I miss it. It is hard to describe if you have never been a road warrior. Life from a suitcase is not what most people think it is. Business travel is not like vacation travel. I stay in hotels close to my customers. Factories are not usually in tourist areas. The industrial part of town is not usually on the attractions list.

Don't get me wrong, I like my job. I have been all over the country and world. I have seen things and visited places I would never be able to on my own. I have memories and stories that could fill a book (or a decade plus of a blog). That does not mean it is easy to take off every week and leave your family. That was especially true when my kids were small.

Anyway, I am glad to be back on the road. Working customers via phone is not he same as face-to-face. That is what I am good at. I may seem a giant ass around here, but I am good at my job.

Changing Time

I have the day off, a commie-inspired holiday that has morphed into a holiday marking the end of summer. There is plenty of warm weather ahead, but the days are growing noticeably shorter and the nights a bit cooler. We have had snow in mid-September before. The corn stalks are turning brown, the flowers a little less vibrant in their beds. My normal fall allergy headaches are already in force.

By this evening the retailers will be in full holiday season mode, shilling Halloween. Before the candy corn is even stale the first Christmas advertising will crop up. Ready or not, here it comes. Clothing stores have been stocked with sweaters and coats for a month. Worse, shoppers will soon be wearing them. No more tight tank tops and short shorts. On the bright side the shapely ladies will be wearing tight jeans and boots.

I got the yard mowed yesterday. I imagine house cleaning is on tap today. I don't want to, but I can't sit around and watch the wife toil. I was not built that way. Besides, she has shouldered most of the burden during this wasted summer of surgeries. Last night the wife dropped a disturbing notion into the conversation. She wants to move the furniture around in the family room. I hate having the furniture rearranged. My Mom used to move stuff all of the time. I mean sometimes weekly. One could wake up and find the couch on the opposite wall. It drove me nuts. The wife has lots of stuff on the walls; pictures, shelves, and knick knacks. If we move the furniture, that all has to be moved too. That means fixing nail holes, sanding, and painting. Then we have to put stuff back on the walls. It is not as simple as just moving the couch over there and putting the TV in the corner. I already know I will hate the new arrangement, whatever it is. That is until a couple of years from now and she wants to move it again.  I won't be too keen on that move, I promise.

You are getting heavy

This is depressing. Local, state, and federal government employs more than 22,200,000 people. Twenty-two million. The Census Bureau estimates there are 240 million adults in the US. That means nearly ten percent of ALL adults work for the government.

Some estimate more than 48% of adults are on some form of welfare. Add in the number of working poor who get "tax refunds" and credits for taxes they don't pay and this number creeps well above half.  If government workers are figured in, then almost sixty percent of adults are living off of he taxes the rest of us shoulder.

The government does not create anything. It does not manufacture anything. It has no means to create wealth or profit beyond forcibly taking wages from its citizens. Every single government worker, no matter how good of a job they do or how valuable their service may be, is earning pay taken from my wages. Even the taxes deducted from Cheryl down at the BMV's paycheck come from me. Since the only way the State can get be money to pay her is from taxing me and you, our confiscated wages were used to pay her and her withholding.

There are 12 million manufacturing jobs in the US. That is 1/10th about 1/2 of the number of people who work for the government. Clearly we don't make as much stuff as we used to here in America, unless you count regulations, enforcement, and paperwork. That is something to ponder over Labor Day.

And another thing...

The FBI notes also reveal that Clinton claims she did not know what the classified markings on documents meant. We are told she is the most experienced person to ever run for President. She was a Senator. She lived in the White House and was, in her own terms, "co-President".

This leaves us with three possible conclusions:

1. She is a liar of monumental proportions and committed perjury under oath. This must run in the family.

2. She is dumber than a box of pickles, despite the fact we have been told for three decades she is one of the smartest women in the world.

3. She has severe mental issue or dementia that makes it impossible for her to remember anything.

Any of the above makes her unfit to hold office.

What we learned today

From the FBI notes on the Clinton interview we know she is a liar and has no regard for secrecy. We already knew that, but it has been reinforced.

We also know the FBI and Comey ignored multiple examples of gross negligence and clear intent to destroy evidence. The fix was already in and the FBI is dirty as hell.

We also know Hillary was too sick to remember briefings.  All of this is clear evidence she is unfit for the White House. We already knew this too, but now we have proof.

But she is for abortion and has a vagina, so Democrats will vote for her. And that is pretty damn sad.

Friday Frivolity

Happy Friday to you. I hope you have good things planned for the long weekend ahead.  Fall is right around the corner.

We had a summertime feast for supper last night. I made BBQ chicken breasts, grilled some fresh corn on the cob and sliced some red tomatoes from my little garden. I grilled some slices of fresh pineapple. I sliced potatoes, added a diced onion and  a whole brick of cubed Colby cheese. I wrapped it all in a foil pack and grilled it as well. Too bad you couldn't enjoy it with us. You might have stopped me from eating way too much.

I'm coasting through work today, marking time until I can knock off early.

I guess Libertarian is just another word for Liberal

You Nevertrumpers who think the Libertarian ticket is the answer should take a look at the positions of Gary Johnson on the issues. He is much closer to the Democrats on almost everything. In fact Johnson has stated he agrees with Clinton about 70% of the time. He won't even use the word illegal. He wants to implement gun control. He is no small government small-"l" libertarian, he is just another big government politician.

This election is about how far left you want he bloated government to move.

That damn Moby Dick and his White Privilege

I would bang my head on the wall and utter "stupid, stupid, stupid" in a crazed mantra, but I am afraid I would fall asleep. After waking up so early yesterday, I sleepwalked through the afternoon, staring at the same numbers on he same spreadsheet for an inordinate amount of time. After supper I cleaned up the mess and flopped on the couch to relax with a little baseball. I was still there five hours later as the game rolled right on into Tuesday. I didn't need to watch all thirteen innings. I could have read what happened this morning. Instead, I stayed up for twenty hours to watch a sporting event that had virtually no consequences for the Cubs, win or lose. Now here I am trying to peck out a coherent paragraph with less than six hours of sleep. "Stupid, stupid, stupid" is indeed an accurate description for my follies.

In new liberal fashion I will argue that my tiredness is not entirely my fault. I am still restricted to sleeping only on my back. My accustomed stomach position is out of the question says the surgeon. Even the fetal position is banned. More than fifty years of sleep habit is hard to chang in a couple of months. Five or six hours is really all I can stand before the need to turn over becomes unbearable.

My body says I can go back to sleep, but just not lying on my back. The brain says I have to be on my back. The body says it sucks to be me. I lie there until I just get up. One more week and I can start to sleep on my left side. Until then I'm just gonna have to suck it up, buttercup.

This post is a rambling wreck. I did not go to Georgia Tech, but you get the drift. I can tell you are getting that glazed over look my wife gets about a dozen times a day. That one that cries " pretend you are paying attention, but I just don't care Joe" every time I share a fact, anecdote, or trivia with her. That polite non-attention is my cue to stop.

The best bread and butter pickle recipe ever

Humph. I woke up at 4:30 this morning. I don't know why. Well, I do, my bladder woke me. What I don't know is why I couldn't go back to sleep.  So, here we are fighting the evil blinking cursor in a vain effort to offer up a little entertainment for you.

The weekend was remarkably unremarkable.  We did a little yard work yesterday. I watched a couple of old movies. We went to the grocery. I watched some baseball and a little football. Yes, it was as boring as it sounds.

I has my most favorite meal in the world for supper last night -- beef and noodles, mashed spuds, and green beans. We met some friends for a little BBQ on Saturday, so I did eat well. There is that.

I did jump on my lying scale before I got in the shower yesterday. I am within a pound of my lowest weight in more than 30 years. I'm talking early freshman year in college-type poundage.  Granted, it was just after mowing the lawn in sweltering heat and humidity, but still...

To put it into perspective, I weigh about 55 pounds less now than when I started this blog. Apparently the 'lie around flat on your back, doing nothing diet' is effective. It is, in that I didn't grab a snack or morsel every time I walked through the kitchen. I should also point out I lost all of that weight, other than a few pounds here and there five or six years ago. My weight has fluctuated within ten pounds since. I suspect I will discover the three or four pounds I sweated off yesterday afternoon were easily replaced by last night's dinner.

These are mundane and uninspiring musings for an early Monday morning. I bet this alphabet vomit makes you say " boy, I am glad I popped in to this blog today". No? I thought not. Try to have a good day anyway. At least you didn't wake up next to Hillary without makeup or the Trumpster without his hair. There is that.

The Right to be Wrong

So a black millionaire athlete who was raised by a white couple finds America so oppressive he cannot stand for the National Anthem. He is the very embodiment of "privilege".

My first blush is to tell him and like-minded others they are free to go to that magical country where they will have more freedom. Heck, I will gladly let my tax dollars go toward a one-way ticket straight out of the USA for anyone who hates it here that much.

In truth, the First Amendment trumps all of those knee-jerk reactions.  If Colin Kaepernik really feels that way, then he should obey his conscious. The First Amendment exists to protect the speech we find most offensive. Period.

I think he is wrong. There are no scholarships just for whites. There are no quotas in hiring or in college admissions for whites.

Is there discrimination? Yes. Whites discriminate against blacks. Blacks discriminate against whites. I have seen staunch New England liberals treat very smart guys from the south as idiots because they have an accent or talk slow. I have seen women much smarter than I treated with disdain purely based on sex. We all have biases. Even you MS Liberal. And you Mr. Kaepernik.

If you do not want to stand for the National Anthem, then don't. Just do not cry about it when your endorsements disappear and your jersey sales drop. Consequences come with taking a stand.

For those who care

Just got back from the Doc. All is good. He took out the stitches and said come back in a month.

Unless something happens, this is the last you will have to read on his subject.

I can see better, without glasses, than I have in at least a decade WITH glasses. Once I get glasses to correct my severe astigmatism (in a month or so, after my new corneas have settled down), I will have 20/20 vision.

Do you deny that you are still a communist?

Hillary says Trump has to own the far right KKKers and skinhead-types. Everyone knows that if you are not a liberal Democrat you are a racist asshole. By the same logic, Hillary then has to embrace as part of her campaign the far left, the hard-core communists, the anarchists, the domestic terrorists like Bill Ayres (who wants folks like me put into gulag-like "re-education camps"). She must embrace the ant-Semitic, homophobic, misogynist regimes from the Middle East who have donated millions to her family's slush fund.

Does anyone take the KKK bogeyman seriously any more? Ten guys in their wife's good bed sheets burning a cross out on a farm is not a threat to democracy. They are cartoons of the past, leaving photocopied crap in mailboxes just to get attention, the Blues Brothers Illinois Nazis in real life. Sure they exist. Sure they hate. Sure they are bigots. The KKK no more represents mainstream conservative America than ELF eco-terrorists represents those volunteers picking up trash out on highway 24.

Dimocrits do not like Trump telling people of color to try something new. They don't like that he has called out the emperor's lack of even boxer briefs. He is pointing out that the places with the highest crime and worst economies are controlled by Democrats for fifty years or more. That scares Democrats more than Reagan's Ghost. Hillary's only response is "Don't listen to him, he is a secret member of the KKK".  Is she next gonna warn us about the monster under the bed?

I supposed I am more attuned to politics than your average bear. I have never even heard of the so-called alt right. Is that something she and the press made up? perhaps Hillary should have a press conference so she can answer questions about these accusations.  It has been what, almost a year? Why won't she answer questions?

North and South

I don't care what the Beach Boys say, you don't want to go to Kokomo...Indiana that is. That section of the state was hit hard by severe weather last week. Yesterday, four separate storms kicked up tornadoes during he course of the afternoon and evening. Some of the very same neighborhoods were hit that were savaged by a tornado in 2013.

The ugly weather passed just north and south of me. We got thunder and rain. Tornado sirens spunded -- think WWII air raid siren if you don't live in the Midwest -- but we avoided the bad stuff. The storms were strangely slow-moving and did not head off to Ohio until well after dark. StormTeam ScareTeam stayed on the air, and rightly so, until 9:00. They did find time in the reporting to show an occasional commercial though. Gotta sell those cars!

There are no reports of death, and only minor injuries. I make fun of the overwrought weather coverage, but it does help keep people out of harm's way. That is a good thing.

Dear Interwebz

I'm alive and doing fine. Spent most of the last two days lying flat on my back staring at the ceiling, yada, yada.

The Doctor says things look good. He is pretty sure I got a good transplant. I'm starting to see a little. I think that is a good thing. The doctor says severe allergy symptoms ate impacting the recovery in both eyes. I could have told him that. Now I have another prescription eye drop to add to my collection. So now I take a steroid eye drop (anti rejection) an antibiotic eye drop, an allergy eye drop, antibiotic pill, Invokana, metformin, glimiperide, a statin, a blood pressure pill, and a vitamin B6. I think it all adds up to around 20 doses of meds a day.  The antibiotics will be done this week.

I hope your week is going well. Forgive any typos, typing one handed upside down on the old iPad isn't easy. I'm dedicated that way.

Just like before, only different

 I am off to the surgeon for round two five of eye surgery. This time my right orb will be sliced open.

Here's hoping.

Horry Clapp, where did I stash that inflatable raft?

It was sunny and the grass was dry enough so I used my lunch hour to cut the lawn yesterday. It was warm and humid and I needed another shower when I was done. What do you think ladies, does visions of a sweaty old man get your motor running?*

It is a good thing I did, it started in raining around two and didn't let up until almost dinner time. And boy, did it rain hard. I had a mini river flowing out next to the flower beds. The cul-de-sac was an inch or two deep in water at the height of the storm. With more rain on tap today, my mid-day mowing session appears like a move of genius. 

My wife and daughter are headed off to the outlet mall for some shopping today. I promised I would do a little housework in her absence. I might as well, I have nothing else to do.  I can hack away at this and I can watch TV, but reading is still an effort with one eye approximately 20/50 and one approximately 20/200. I can't really wear my glasses since my vision in my good eye is better than my vision in my "bad" eye with glasses.  Confused? The bottom line is I don't mind helping with housework. I always have. And since I will spend all of next week lying flat on my back, the wife will have to do everything, including nurse my crybaby self. 

Anyway, it looks to be a good Saturday. I hope you enjoy your day.

* image of that hotness below the fold

Free massage coupons

Thank goodness it is Friday. This has been a long week. I think someone in the matrix snuck in an extra Tuesday without us knowing. If it was payday, then it would be a great day. alas, that only rolls around every other week.

It finally stopped raining for the first time in a week yesterday. I was all set to mow the lawn after work. Then the lawn treatment guy showed up. My grass really needs cut, but I'm not going to chop off all of the fertilizer I just paid for. Hopefully the predicted rain will hold off today long enough for me to get the yard done. I have to get it finished by Sunday, I go back on medical restrictions next week.

We have not had any Friday music for a while. I know that has left you sad and disappointed to no end. Well buck up little buddies, I am here to make you smile. Have a good Friday.

Same tune, different chorus

Louisiana is under water. Thousands are without homes. People have died. An uncaring President pays no attention. It has been days and FEMA is nowhere to be found. The press covers this massive governmental neglect non-stop. The President is held personally responsible.

Does this sound familiar?  With the exception of the last two sentences, all of the above is happening under the watch of President Obama. Of course he is a Democrat, so we have to assume he cares, even if the only example of his concern is scheduling yet another round of golf and partying with his one percenter buddies on Martha's Vinyard.

Do you think we will get the flood of '16 stories every damn time The Saints play a national game ten years from now like we are constantly reminded of Katrina?

Just another straw on my camel's back

I returned from a quick trip to Kalamazoo late yesterday afternoon. The customer visit went well. It was good to be traveling again.

The wife wanted me to make fried chicken for dinner. She need a couple of things from Target, so while I started supper she went to do whatever it was she needed to accomplish. I made some iced tea. I sliced up som tomatoes from the garden. I peeled and put potatoes on to boil for the mashed spuds. I dredged the chicken and let it sit to get a good coating.

The wife called to say she was leaving Target. I dropped the chicken into the hot oil in the skillet. The store is about ten minutes from the house and by he time she got home I should be getting ready to make pan gravy. She called back. Her car won't start. The battery was completely dead.

I took the skillet off the burner, turned off the potatoes and pulled on my shoes. The keys to my car were gone. The wife had them in her purse. We have gone from " oh crud" to " ah crap".  Luckily, my SIL was available to drive me to the Target.. We tried jumping be battery, but it would not turn the engine over. We have moved to "shit" status.

SIL brings us home. I grab some tools. We go to the parts store and drop $140 that I don't  have on a new battery and head back to the dead Ford Escape. I am not a mechanical genius, but I can change a battery in about ten minutes. I losen the battery with no trouble. The red terminal comes right off. The black side won't budge. I send the wife home for better wrenches than he piece o'crap adjustable wrench I was using. I get the nut lose finally, but the clamp still won't come off the terminal.

Did I mention it was raining? It is getting dark. I pry. I twist. I curse a little. I pried and twisted more. I cursed a lot. I called AutoZone to see if there was something special about the negative terminal on a Ford Escape that I couldn't see. They suggested I pry and twist until the clamp breaks free. Duh.

It is 9:20. I've spent more than two hours trying to do a ten minute job. I'm tired. I'm hungry, it's dark. I need a bigger screwdriver and maybe a hammer to try and pry the clamp apart. The store says they won't have the car towed if we leave it over night.

We grabbed a fast food burger. I came home and threw away the oil-soaked chicken. I threw out the potatoes. I put the clean dinner plates away and washed up the pans. The whole supper went straight to the garbage.

I'm up early. I'm waiting for sunup so I can head down to try again. I wonder if I will have hubcaps or window glass in my car when I get there. I hope a new day finds the clamp magically unfused by corrosion and that I finally break it free this morning.  I sure don't want to pay to have a car towed over a stupid battery terminal.

On the scale of problems this is small, but why can't things ever be easy?

Random thoughts that explain Trump, chipmunks, and the alien megastructures

Gymnasts have remarkable self control. I would fall off the beam because I had to stop and pull that leotard out of my crack.

It is International Left Handers Day. My oldest boy is a lefty.

It is raining. We need it, even though we got a couple of inches over the weekend.

I'm traveling for work this week. It seems like forever since I have hit the road. Don't worry, a colleague is driving. I'm sick of working he phones and email. I'm ready to get out of the house and see some customers.

I get the cornea transplant in the right eye next week. Hopefully after a week recovery I will have significantly improved vision. I can order new, weaker glasses and resume life as normal. I'm sick of being driven everywhere.

In the old days superstitious building owners refused to have a 13th floor, skipping from 12 to 14. Perhaps the Chicago Cubs should look at skipping he 8th inning when they play the cardinals. The Cubs gave up 11 runs combined in the 8th inning on Saturday and Sunday. They were leading both games through seven and ended up losing both.

Happy Monday.

Can you win gold for jumping out of swings?

Trampoline is a real sport; who knew? I knocked of work early yesterday afternoon and went downstairs to catch the last few innings of the Cubs. They weren't on my TV, 'cause I don't get the MLB channel, but the Olympics were. Lo and behold there were svelte young ladies jumping on a trampoline. If my kids had taken their trampoline seriously back in the day I could have been down in Rio yesterday watching them compete for medals and living the high life on the polluted beaches by night.  Instead, my kids were content to jump up and down, turn an occasional flip or lie under it for shade --lazy farts.

Hanging on by my fingertips

The internet is a lonely place when your mouse dies.

Blue skies, yellow tomatoes

We just about wore out the buttons on the TV remote last night jumping from the Cubs to the Olympics and back. The wife wanted to see gymnastics. Switching back and forth worked out fine since NBC has a LOT of commercials in their Olympic coverage. I wanted to see the evil Cardinals lose. The good guys won all around.

The 'Mericans took gold and silver in women's gymnastics. Little Simone won by more than two points which is the equivalent of winning by 96 in basketball.  Michael Phelps won more gold in swimming.

The Cubbies wrapped up their game just after midnight Eastern time when the Cards walked Anthony Rizzo with bases loaded. That was the easiest RBI in the world. As an ardent Cubs fan I will say that ball was a strike. The Cards got screwed by the umpire. 11 innings in the sweltering heat were just too much, I guess. The ump called a ball that sliced down the inner quarter of the plate and called a free pass, ending he game. I will take it, things happen. Ten in a row for the Northsiders.

Happy Friday to you. You can listen to the music of your choice today. No Friday Music.

Here is a bonus for those of you in the Hoosier State: how is Evan Bayh claiming with a straight face he is for not putting party first when he had one of the most partisan voting records when he was in the Senate last time? I suppose he is counting on name recognition and the ignorance of the voters. His optimism is probably justified. By January, I suspect the reliably red Hoosier State will have two Democrat Senators and a Democrat governor. 

I'm feeling a bit blue.

The Post You Have Been Waiting For

Isn't this one

No inspiration this morning.

That may change. It may not.

Hmmm

What does it say about you as a candidate when you feature at one of your rallies the father of a homophobic mass murderer who has been outspoken in his derision of America?

What does it say about the bias of the media when they ignore it?

Every Four Years

We watch sports like swimming or beach volleyball, or curling in the Olympics and act like we care. If you came upon a swim meet on the television while channel surfing on a rainy Saturday afternoon you would pause just long enough to put down the remote to take a sip of your beer. Then you would move on to a rerun of CSI or yet another showing of Cool Hand Luke.  I would and you would.

But be Olympics has a special flavor. It is an us vs. the world show of athleticism. For those of us of a certain age the Olympics calls back a subtle front in be Cold War, when the evil doped up Soviet Bloc nations were competing against the free world. Every time we saw a loss by someone in a CCCP uniform, you could cheer. What happened to the dominance of he East German women swimmers and Bulgarian weight lifters?

The Olympics also gives us a much needed break from the mind-numbing politics of a seemingly endless election year.

Many sports in the Olympics are boring as heck to watch. And I am free to admit that I derive no pleasure watching the best of other nations battle for victory when Americans are not in the running for a medal. Nationalist?, Heck yeah. Go 'Merica! Still, it is compelling in a sense to watch greatness. Has there ever been an athlete more dominant in his sport, in any sport, as Michael Phelps?  That, my friends, is true greatness. I am pleased to see that any time.

Things I know and things I don't know

My belly is growling. I don't know why. I had a cranberry muffin for breakfast. I'm up early this morning. I don't know why about that either. There is a lot I don't know. Why was "Seasons in the Sun" a hit record? Why don't the flowers on my wife's hibiscus turn to dollar bills when the fall off? Why are there snakes? I'm sure I do not know.

Ha, you thought that was going to be "Seasons in the Sun" didn't you? We had joy, we had fun... Put that in your skull for the rest of today. Jake and Elwood make a good brain palate cleanser.

I have to wear a hard plastic shield over my eye when I sleep, to keep from rubbing the eye ans scraping loose the transplant for the next several months. That is fine, but when I do the other eye I will have to wear two "pirate patches" taped to my face. Getting up to pee in the night is going to be a challenge. At least I'll then have an excuse for peeing on the floor. Not that I do, mind you, but the wife accuses me of it all the time.  I don't know why.

Monica Lewinsky says she will not vote for Hillary. She claims the last time she was around a Clinton it left a bad taste in her mouth.

About that

If my life is an example of the extraordinary privlege I garner by benefit of my skin color, then those with a differing amount of melanin must lead a desperate existence.

I thought I put a title here. Now I have

Happy Monday. The granddaughter is downstairs watching Mickey the Mouse, snuggling with my wife.  It looks to be a great day.

There was not much excitement over the weekend. We went to our friend's house Saturday. They swam, I dangled my feet in the water. I am banned from pools and hot tubs for two months.  Sunday I watched the Cubs. I was all set to watch the Colts first preseason effort, for as long as I could stand to watch putrid per-season football, but the game was cancelled due to the poor condition of the field. WTH? How is that possible? How embarrassing for the football Hall of Fame and the NFL. Someone is going to be out some money. Fans paid for tickets, hotels, etc. to see that game, not to mention the lost revenue on ESPN. You just know some money-grubbing attorney is already on he case.

I'm off to do some work, hot dog hot dignity dog.  The Olympics continue. Hillary Clinton is a liar.

News you can use

The Olympics are underway. You might not have noticed, there has been nothing in the news about it.

Saturday Situational Summary

The doc says my surgery was a success this time. I can see out of my left eye better than at any time in recent memory.  I can read my phone, IPad and see the TV without glasses. The eye is still a little swollen and thus "itchy", but woot! It will just get better with time. Two more nights on my back. Next up; the other eye. I will keep you posted.

Sybiugfroijhg

If you can't imagine pulling the lever for Trump I get it. I'm not sure I can do it either. If you are an elected GOPer and say the same, I can live with that.

If you are an elected Republican office holder and claim you will not only not vote for Trump but will vote for Hillary then you have betrayed the voters, the donors, and the party. You should return any re-election funding you got from the GOP. You should be booted from committees. You are no longer part of the Party. In fact you are proven to be untrustworthy, a liar, and opportunist.

You fit in well with Hillary Clinton.

No wonder people rank politicians right up there with dog shit in popularity.

Typed in Popeye mode

I have the MLB app for my phone. This allows me to hear the radio broadcasts of my beloved Cubs.  It also gives me access to the radio broadcast of every major league game.

I confess I would rather listen to a baseball broadcast than watch it on TV. It is easy to see why baseball reached its peak popularity in the radio age. The subtle shifts, the movement of the fielders based on the count and the pitch sign create a tiny ballet that cannot be captured on the tiny screen. The real action is in the pitch-hit and that is where the cameras focus. On the radio the slow pace allows a good announcer to describe the scene in detail. The non-action moments cry to be filled with stats and averages, creating and full filling baseball's insatiable desire for minutiae.

It is no wonder football is king in the television age. The concentrated action and frequent stoppages in play coupled with a time clock makes the game perfect for the television. commercials can be aired regularly, pretty much on schedule. An inning may last two minutes or twenty. We know exactly how long a quarter will last.

Perhaps I love baseball because I played  it a lot in my youth. I was never any good at it, but e still played endless games in the summer heat. two people can play a game of Whiffle ball in the backyard, tracking ghost runners and score. You can't do that with a football.

I have listened to a lot of baseball in the dark over the past few weeks. I fell asleep listening to the late innings of a west coast game last night. The crack of the bat, the pop of leather, the roar of the crowd was a timeless image of an America I never knew. I could have been my grandpa listening the crackle of WGN in 1925' or my Dad listening to a game in 1950,

That gives me comfort.